***************************************************************** This author's e-mail address has changed to: rn500@usa.net ***************************************************************** From: Linda Phillips Date: Wed, 27 Jan 1999 05:15:39 -0500 Subject: NEW:"Revelations III: The Moon Beneath Her Feet"(1/2) Title:Revelations III: The Moon Beneath Her Feet (1/2) Author: Linda Phillips (rn500@ozline.net) Rating: mild NC - 17 Classification: S / R / A Keywords: MSR Spoilers: Oh, just the whole MythArc thing Summary: A post-invasion tale. The third in the 'Revelations' series. Completed on: 1/30/99 Archiving: Gossamer - yes. All others please ask. (I'll say yes, I promise!) Disclaimer: The X-Files and it's characters are the property of Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and Fox Television. No infringement intended. Thanks to Linda Howell, who has helped these stories flow a little more smoothly __________________________________________ She found him at dusk, sitting outside on the front steps. She waited a few moments inside, watching - clinging, really, to the image of him there. He still hadn't cut his hair, and it lay in soft dark waves against the back of his neck. He'd regained some weight since he first arrived, recapturing much of what she'd always loved about his body - long and lean, his back and arms strong. There was a long piece of grass between his fingers, and he chewed on the end of it thoughtfully. 'No,' was all she could think. 'No, no, no!' But she already knew it was no use. Finally, she pushed the door open. He turned toward the distraction and his face lit up as he saw her. His hand reached out, and she gripped it tightly as she joined him on the steps. "Are you done for the day?" he asked. She nodded without looking at him. "Hungry?" Still silent, she shook her head. And he knew that she knew, and waited for her to speak. When at last she did, her voice was firm, with no trace of the trembling that she felt inside. "When do you leave?" she asked. His first urge was to deny her the pain, and he gave in to it without thinking. "What are you talking about?" She looked at him, eyes piercing. "I saw you go over to the camp today. When do you leave?" He looked down, hesitated, stroking her hand with his thumb. "I don't know that I will be." She looked away again. "You will be," she said softly. "Scully..." He took a deep breath, held it, let it go. "I can't stay here sweeping and cleaning and hiding... I can't just do nothing when they need me to..." She pulled her hand away suddenly and turned to face him, the anger and hurt plain on her face. "Why you, Mulder? Why does it have to be you? They don't know... how many years you've already been fighting... what you've already lost... oh, God!" She stood and walked a few feet away, determined to get a grip on herself. This would not be like the last time they had parted, she vowed - she wouldn't allow that. Her fingertips came together against her lips and she pressed them hard, so hard that her nails dug into the tender flesh there. By the time she felt him come up behind her, she had recovered her outward calm. His arms went around her and pulled her to him, and he settled his chin against the top of her head with a sigh. She closed her eyes and leaned back, holding his arms against her, feeling the beat of his heart. 'This moment,' she thought. This moment was all they could count on. "Mulder?" "Yeah, babe." His voice was soft, the rumble in his chest soothing on her back. She turned to face him, then thought better of it and buried her face against his chest. "I love you." He held her tightly, kissing the top of her head then laying his cheek against the place his lips had touched. "I wouldn't be alive if you didn't," he said. ______________________________________________ 'Why you, Mulder?' He sighed quietly and leaned his chin against his fists on the window, her question pulsing in his head like a heartbeat . 'Why' was not a question he could easily answer. It seemed obvious, of course. But, was it? He gazed up at the clear, black night, the stars and moon mocking him with their peaceful beauty. What was happening out there would happen with or without him, he knew. He was only one man. Could he make as much difference out there as he could here? Was it worth it? He glanced over at his sleeping partner, her soft breathing still music to him. Her face was relaxed and serene. She needed him too. She worked like a dog, gave everything she had. Didn't she deserve the small amount of comfort and security he could give her after everything she'd been through? And she was right - the people out there now... most of them were toddlers in this compared to him. He'd been fighting so long... But could he quit now? He'd learned things today. The camp was well organized, its leaders part of the strong military rebellion. He had been assured that he could be of use to them... "Key Lime pie." Her sleepy voice came from the shadows, and her hand reached out to him. He smiled and took it, joining in the little game they had devised when the outside threatened them here. "Angel hair pasta with clam sauce," he replied as he slid back into bed next to her. "A huge tub of popcorn from Cinema 10 - you know, the place that uses the real butter?" She moved her body up snug against his. "And a giant Coke. I'm gonna go from one theater to the next, watch all the movies, and eat popcorn with extra butter 'til I puke." He laughed quietly. "Mmmm, now that's a tasty image... oh, let's see... I want to go skiing, then come in by the fire and drink hot toddies." She made a face in the darkness. "Blecchh! Those things are disgusting! I'm gonna go to the beach, slather myself with coconut oil - maybe I'll even go topless..." "Oh, really?" he asked, turning to face her. "Maybe..." she teased. "I'm going to follow you, and after dark I'll make mad passionate love to you on the beach." His voice took on a dreamy quality. "The moon will be shining, we'll hear the waves lapping at the shore..." "I'll get sand in my butt..." "Then I'll carry you into the water and wash you off, like this..." His hand glided slowly over her belly and down one thigh. A sigh escaped her lips as she closed her eyes. "And like this..." Back up the other thigh, lightly grazing the curls between her legs. "And like this..." His fingers disappeared into the warmth there, and she reached her hand up and pulled his mouth to hers. "Just like that?" she whispered. "Just like that," he answered. And - for now - she let herself believe him. ___________________________________________________ Daybreak could be so cruel. The shelter of darkness was like a cocoon, removed from reality, able to be shaped and molded into whatever they needed to keep going. Sunrise, so deceptively majestic bathed in red and gold, was not a welcome sight. But, when it came down to it, he always wanted one more with her. He tried not to think of the look on her face, but the image lingered long after he had ordered it out. They had said goodbye in their room - no, not goodbye. Scully refused to say goodbye. She would only say "I'll see you soon." She hadn't cried, and he hadn't either - until he was far from her sight, on his way to the camp. Just a tear or two, blown away in the hot wind, leaving his throat to burn with the ones unshed. ________________________________________________ She ignored the knock on the door at first, unconsciously holding her breath lest the sound reveal her. She was hiding in her own little world of misery at the moment, and she had every intention of wallowing in it for a while. But the knock came again, this time followed by someone opening her door just a crack. "Dana?" She reluctantly sat up and switched on her light. "Yeah Julie, I'm awake, come in." The door opened further, and Julie walked in holding a plate in her hand. She looked at Scully and smiled sheepishly. "I thought maybe you could use this tonight." Scully looked curiously at her. Suddenly her nose was tickled with an aroma that she hadn't smelled in months, and her eyes opened wide. "Oh my God, Julie! Where did you get that?" "We got a shipment today and there was a can of cocoa in it, can you believe it? Jan found enough stuff in the kitchen to make this." She held a fork out along with it. "Enjoy, darlin'!" Scully took the plate as Julie sat down on the end of her bed. She cut a small piece with the fork and put it in her mouth, eyes closing as she moaned with pleasure. It was a little bitter, not very tender, but it tasted like heaven. Chocolate cake, food of the gods. "Just what a broken-hearted girl needs," Julie said with a smile. "Thank you, Julie. That was really sweet of you. Hard to believe we've come this far, eh?" Scully mused, remembering their first meeting when she had arrived here months ago. It hadn't exactly been love at first sight. Julie was a tall, blonde, outspoken woman, and didn't have any qualms about saying what was on her mind. She let Scully know in no uncertain terms that she thought a forensic pathologist would be about as much use out here as having ten thumbs. Scully had been a bit intimidated by her at first, and she didn't like that feeling. They had coldly avoided each other in the first few weeks. Then came the first wave of wounded, and by the time the bodies were patched up the two of them had found a new respect for each other. In the time since then, Julie had become the closest thing to a real friend that Scully had in this crazy place. "Well - us girls gotta stick together," she said. Then her smile faded, and she looked at Scully compassionately. "He'll be all right, Dana." Scully looked away as her throat stung and tears threatened again. "I think you're lucky," Julie continued. "At least you had some time together..." Suddenly Julie's hand flew to her mouth and stifled a sob. "I'm sorry - I came here to cheer you up and look at me." A sound halfway between a laugh and a whimper slipped from her, and Scully reached out to grab her hand. "This sucks, Dana." Julie wiped her eyes with her free hand. "This really fucking sucks! Can't we just click our heels together and go back to Kansas?" Scully looked away again, closed her eyes. "I wish we could, Julie," she sighed. "But I think Kansas is gone for good." ______________________________________________ He needed a shower. Badly. They had been traveling for three days now, and the thought came to Mulder that pretty soon the enemy wouldn't need to *see* them coming - They'd be able to *smell* them. Col. Greer had promised that they would be at their destination by nightfall. Whether that destination included a shower remained to be seen. In the three days that they'd been riding in the old jeep, Greer and the two others had filled him in. The information had given voice to his worst nightmares, but also filled him with a spark of hope. The worst was this: They were winning. Every day new towns fell under Their command, and the Resistance attempts to stop Them had only slowed Them down. The vaccination plan on which the best minds of the past fifty years had placed their bets proved to be horribly difficult to carry out when the invasion began sooner than expected. But - what they spoke of only as 'the operation' was close to being finished, and hopes were high. Preliminary testing had shown that one of the smallest things on planet Earth - the same virus that had been used against it's own inhabitants - could be the thing that destroyed the invaders once and for all. Gene replacement, DNA, RNA, antigens and antibodies... words he knew, but science that was out of his league. Scully would understand it all. He wished she were here with him, and he knew she wished it too. But they both were painfully aware that she was needed where she was - where a heartbeat balanced on the fulcrum between life and death, her hands and her knowledge made a difference. His contemplation was interrupted by the voice of one of his traveling companions. "Holy shit," Evans said quietly. The jeep slowed and then stopped as it approached what remained of a small camp. Several large, dark squares on the ground marked the sites where tents had been burned to the ground. Scattered within the blackened boundaries lay small pieces of scorched objects, mostly unidentifiable. This was a familiar scene to Mulder, but what his eyes took in next was not. Between the squares where tents had stood were four large stakes driven into the ground. On those stakes were what was left of four of the human inhabitants of this camp. Their bodies were burned to such a degree that it seemed a mere touch would surely turn them to ash. For a split second Mulder wondered if they had been burned alive, then decided he was glad that he would never know. In front of them a smaller stake had been driven into the earth after the fact, its wood unsinged by fire. On it hung a sign with a crudely lettered message: 'Death to resistance' Without another word, the driver put the jeep back into gear and they drove away in silence. ___________________________________________ The days passed into weeks and she tried not to think of him. Again she plunged herself into working with a vengeance, going and going until she felt ready to drop, hoping that no more than a few minutes would pass between laying her head down and the sweet release of sleep. But it seldom worked out that way. He had been in her room - their room - long enough for his scent to cling there, so that even in the dark she was reminded of him. She took to sleeping with his pillow pulled against her, often waking to find her head resting on it instead of her own. He would come back. He had done it more than once, and he would do it again. She had to believe it. Some nights she dreamed of him - of waking to find him lying next to her as if he'd never left, or sometimes of Before. She loved those dreams. Half memory, half fantasy, blending places and things familiar to her with the hope of things yet to be. Some nights she could swear she felt him touching her, his warm breath against her cheek. It would seem so real that she would awaken reaching for him, then dissolve into tears when her hand found the reality of her empty bed. Such was the case on this night. She had awakened once already, sure that he was there. But her eyes convinced her of what she already knew in her heart, and it was a long time getting back to sleep. Then again, from the darkness he appeared in front of her, and in her dream she turned away. "No," she mumbled. Not again. Let me rest. "Scully..." She felt his touch on her face, and his warm breath on her cheek. She opened her eyes. This time she touched him back. Her arms went around his neck and he pulled her to him. She tried to say his name, but could get no further than "M..." before her voice broke and she wept against him. He didn't say anything more, just rocked her back and forth, back and forth - until finally they were past words and only the feel of him against her, alive and real, would do. _____________________________________________ His stay was only temporary, as it seemed all things were in this new world. Soon he would be leaving again, he hoped for the last time. A plan had been made. A plan of a virus, and the men and women who would spread it, and the intruders it would kill. *If* it worked as they thought it would, it would at last pave the way to peace. He didn't kid himself - it would be the toughest battle of his life. The end of the invaders was only the first, albeit most crucial, step. The rest may be just as difficult. The humans who had aligned themselves with the invaders would fight back, they knew. There would be nothing left for them once their new leaders were gone, and someone with nothing left to lose was a formidable enemy. He had one week. One week to permanently etch in his memory every inch of her body, every look on her face, every sound that she made. He had no idea how long he would be gone this time. In the two days that he'd been back he had rarely let her out of his sight. A few of her kind colleagues had taken some of her hours on duty while he was here, thank God, or they would have had to contend with him following her around all day. Like now. She was finishing up her abbreviated shift, her final patient being a man who had lost his leg. Mulder watched from the doorway as she removed the dressing and cleaned the wound gently. Her hands moved in graceful, strong motions born of years of experience, caring and touching and healing. The hands that had once cared so attentively for the dead now were even more gentle and painstaking with the living. He found himself fascinated. Her voice spoke in soothing tones as her hands did things, necessary though they were, that caused pain, even anger. She never raised her voice back. She never scolded. Calm, soothing, gentle throughout. He realized that he'd never really appreciated her in this way before. Her hands were an extension of all that she was. When she was finally finished, she went to a sink and washed her hands, scrubbing hard. He came up behind her and took her hands in his, his arms running along the length of hers, and gently rinsed them clean. She didn't say a word as he dried them carefully with a towel. When he was done he brought them to his lips and closed his eyes, and kissed the hands that meant the world to him, vowing to never forget the feel of them against his face. ____________________________________________ end of 1/2 Revelations III: The Moon Beneath Her Feet (2/2) by Linda Phillips (rn500@ozline.net) Disclaimers, etc. in part 1/2 ____________________________________________ Scully tilted back in the chair and looked around warily. No Mulder. He had gone to the camp a while ago, after she'd told him to give her a few hours to finish up some work She took the opportunity to try and rub the fatigue from her eyes. It wasn't working. What she wanted more then anything at that moment was to go to her room and sleep for about two days. When a wave of nausea overtook her, she gave in and leaned her head down on crossed arms on the table in front of her. It was becoming more and more difficult to fight back the unease that had been following her for a few weeks now. She was so bone-numbing tired lately - it was nearly impossible for her to get through a shift anymore without a catnap here and there. Her appetite had been practically nonexistent for the past several weeks - sometimes just the thought of food made her rush to the bathroom to empty her stomach of what little she was able to eat. At first she had shrugged it off - too much work, too little sleep; missing Mulder; something she'd eaten; maybe a flu bug someone had brought through... But as the days and weeks went on she couldn't help but be haunted by memories of something that she'd thought was far in the past. Was it back was it back was it back...? She'd done her best to hide it from everyone, especially from Mulder since his return. What was the point of putting a voice to her concern? There was no treatment for her if indeed the mutated cells had once again invaded her body. This time, there would be no magic chip, no chemotherapy... nothing. "Dana?" She looked up. "Hmm? Oh... hi, Julie." "Are you all right?" "Oh, yeah... I'm fi- 'scuse me..." she mumbled, putting a hand over her mouth as she ran to the bathroom. Julie followed her and waited until the retching behind the stall door stopped. When Scully reappeared, her face was pasty, her eyes reddened. "Are you okay?" Julie asked, her eyes narrowed with concern. Scully leaned over the sink and splashed her face with water. There were no towels to be had, so she dried her face with her shirt as she straightened up. "Yeah... I'm okay. I don't know... I must've eaten something that went bad." "Dana... this isn't the first time I've been in here lately while you were puking." Scully looked away, cleared her throat. "I'm all right Julie, really." Julie walked around and wedged herself between Scully and the sink. "Tell me that you've got a stash of birth control that you're using," she said. Scully chuckled ruefully. "It's not that Julie, trust me." "Okay. So tell me you're using birth control." "I can't have children." "Famous last words." "No, Julie, really." God, she really didn't want to get into this right now. Nobody here knew much about her past, and she had hoped to keep it that way. "Come with me, Dana." "Julie..." Julie turned to her with a stern expression. "Humor me, okay?" With a sigh, Scully followed her out of the bathroom to a supply room a few doors down the hall. Julie grabbed something off the shelf and handed it to her. "Be a good girl and go pee in the cup." "Will this get you off my back?" Julie made an X over her heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die." Scully returned a few minutes later to find Julie on a step- stool rummaging through a high shelf. "I know we had a couple of these things laying around..." she grunted as she reached further back. "A-ha!" She climbed down with the test in her hand. "You're wasting your time," Scully said, shaking her head. "Well, it's not like I've got a hot date or anything. Gimme the pee." Julie lay the test kit out on the counter as Scully leaned back against the wall and crossed her arms. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Julie." "Uh-huh," she replied, not turning around. "Several years ago, I was abducted - I don't remember any of it, but we found out later that They had something to do with it." Julie was silent as she worked. "Experiments were done on me... reproductive experiments, among other things... I don't know what all was done." Scully felt like she was rambling, but obviously she was going to have to tell Julie at least a little about what had happened to her. Julie kept her back to Scully, just made an occasional "Mm-hmm," to show that she was listening. "Whatever it was they did gave me cancer," Scully went on, "and I won't even go into how we got it into remission... just suffice it to say that they worked me over. Later, I discovered that all my ova are gone. I can't get pregnant, Julie. They took all of them." Julie turned to her then, her face impassive. "What?" Scully asked, dropping her hands. Julie motioned her head in the direction of the counter. "Looks like they missed one," she said. Scully just looked at her. "What are you saying?" she finally managed to choke out. "You're pregnant, Dana." Julie was talking to her, but she couldn't hear a word. She saw the other woman's face go bright with sparks, then slowly, slowly fade to black. _____________________________________________ "Dana? Dana? C'mon back, honey... that's a good girl..." She blinked as Julie's face came into focus. There was a wet cloth on her forehead, and gradually she realized what had happened. "Did I faint?" she asked as she sat up. Julie nodded. "Yeah - but, I'm sorry to tell you, it wasn't a dream. You're still pregnant." She offered her hand. "Can you stand up?" Scully took it and rose unsteadily to her feet. Still stunned, Scully found herself naked from the waist down on an exam table before she could say another word. Julie donned a glove and did a pelvic exam. "Hmmm..." she said, pressing down on Scully's abdomen with her free hand. Julie squinted at the wall as she tried to assess the situation. "Your uterus is definitely enlarged. It's been a long time since I've done any OB, but I'd guess maybe eight or ten weeks... Dana? You with me?" Scully lay there shaking her head. "This can't be..." she kept repeating. "It just can't be..." Julie stood back and stripped off the glove, watching her patient with concern. She pulled Scully up to a sitting position, leaned down a bit and looked her in the eyes. "I know you must be in shock... breathe, Dana." Scully took in a long breath, let it out slowly. She felt Julie's warm hands take her own cold ones. She kept shaking her head, blinking. "Trust me on this one, Dana." "Oh, I do... it's just..." "I know," Julie said soothingly. "You need time to process all this. But not too much time, huh?" Her voice took on a cautionary tone. "The longer we wait, the harder it is." It took Scully a minute to figure out what Julie was talking about. She stood up and dressed quickly. "I... I have to go, Julie..." She stopped at the door, turned back. "Don't say anything to Mulder, okay?" Julie nodded grimly. "I understand." ________________________________________________ She lay her chin against her drawn up knees and hugged them tight. She wanted her mother here. Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply and tried to remember the scent of Maggie's cologne, tried to see her face, to imagine her mother putting her arms around her and holding her tight. But truth was not compassionate. The last time she'd seen her mother was when she and Mulder had taken her to the airport, sending her on a last minute trip to Bill's in California. She remembered her mother's eyes - so frightened. Maggie had hugged Scully tightly, then Mulder, and she heard her mother whisper into Mulder's ear. "Take care of her," she had said. It hadn't been wise or timely to tell Maggie very much. In her mind were burned the exact words she had said to her mother that day - the day she and Mulder had driven out there for the last time. "If you've ever believed in me, I need you to believe me now, and don't ask any questions..." Scully couldn't even be sure where Maggie was at this point, except in her prayers every night. "There you are." His voice startled her from her reverie, and she turned to see Mulder coming out of the front doors into the warm evening. "Hey," was all she could manage. "Hey, yourself." She could tell that he instantly sensed her mood, and his hand smoothed over her hair and down her back as he sat next to her. "What is it?" he asked, his eyes searching her face. She turned back to the endless dark sky, resting her chin on folded arms. "What's going to happen, Mulder?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, what do you *really* think is going to happen to us?" She turned her eyes to meet his again. "Tell me the truth." He took a deep breath as he gathered his thoughts, then moved around to kneel in front of her. She watched his hands as they took her own, and she kept her eyes on them as he spoke. "I truly believe that we have a very good chance, Scully," he said quietly. "I'm no martyr. If I thought the cause was lost I'd stay here with you until the end, and we could drink purple Kool- Aid together." She smiled a little at his sick joke and looked up at him. "I mean it, Scully," he went on, his expression as serious as she had ever seen. "There's no way I'd leave you if I thought there was no coming back." She leaned forward over their clasped hands and kissed him. "I believe you," she said. Silently she stood up, her hand still holding his, and led him back to their room. The realization that they had three days left together - for now - followed them, cast a shadow over their bodies as they lay together. For a long while they did just that - lay there on the bed, limbs entwined, no words able to fill the void that poised in front of them. It was she who moved first, rising up on her elbow to find the outline of his face in the darkness. "Mulder..." "Mmm?" "I want you to marry me before you go." She watched as his lips curved up in a smile, and he touched her cheek gently. "Can we do it right now?" he asked. She smiled back, relieved. "I suppose we could wait until morning." "Could we practice for the wedding night now?" She chuckled. "Why, whatever do you mean?" "I mean," he said, pulling up to meet her face to face, "that I can't imagine anything more wonderful than making love to my wife." "Oh, Mulder..." Her eyes were wet again, a condition she seemed to have little control over lately. She felt his lips graze her neck, gentle and soft, possessing power to send exquisite shudders through her body. "We're gonna make it, Scully." His voice wrapped around her like a velvet shield, and she fell into it without doubt. "I know." She lay back and reached for him, her body humming now, waiting for his to add verse to the melody. He stayed propped up on his elbow, looking at her, his fingers tracing her cheekbone and jawline. She could feel him tearing apart inside. "I know you don't want to leave me, Mulder. I know if things were different... but they're not. They're what they are, and we have to do what we must." "Scully..." He sounded as if his heart were breaking. "You'll never be far from me," she whispered, pulling his lips to hers. "I feel you with me all the time." He met her mouth, and a million words passed between them. Then he moved down, and lay his stubbled cheek against her breast, and she felt the wetness of eyes and the catch in his breath. After a moment he turned his head and slowly circled the nipple with his tongue, and she gasped, swearing she felt a butterfly flutter where his hand lay. But he didn't seem to notice that her belly wasn't quite as concave as it had always been, and continued to suckle against her, filling her with a warm sweetness. His hand moved away from the butterfly, and into the nest of wet curls below. Slowly, he stroked and teased until she had her hands clenched in his hair and her breaths were short and hungry. His mouth left her breast as he moved above her, and as her legs opened of their own accord he pressed against her, so hard and so real. Slowly, slowly, he filled her, his head thrown back as their bodies made the final connection. He took a deep breath and came back to her, watching her now, as he moved. "I love you..." he said, and she felt it with all her being. He rocked against her again, and again. "...love you..." And again. "...love you, Scully..." Again. "...so much..." He watched as her mouth opened without sound, and she came closer and closer... as she went over the edge, she dug tight fingers into his back to break the fall. He held her against him, keeping her safe as the tremors washed over and taking her cries into his heart. After a few moments she quieted, and felt him inside of her still solid and full. Suddenly, she wanted the feel of his warm seed inside, couldn't wait another minute to feel him give in to her. She moved her hips, swaying forward and back, forward and back, and he responded in kind. Instinctively she framed his face in her hands, holding his eyes with hers as he climbed to the peak. "Give it to me," she whispered. "Give it to me, Mulder... let me feel it..." With broken sighs he flowed into her, collapsed against her, and she gathered him up close. "I've got you..." she said, her voice quiet and sure. "I've got you..." __________________________________________ Despite the circumstances, despite what was going on all around them, Mulder was not unaware of the significance of this day. He was getting married. To Scully. It still didn't seem quite real, even though they were standing here, in front of a Baptist minister at the camp, saying words like "forever". He looked down at her and he couldn't help but grin like an idiot, just as he'd been doing since he woke up this morning, much to Scully's amusement. Her eyes drifted up to him, her face awash in cream and roses, her lips full and turned up at the corners. "I will," she said. She said 'I will', he thought. Amazing. He barely heard the words coming from the minister's mouth, but he saw the elder man's lips moving, then stop as he looked at expectantly at Mulder. What? he thought. Scully elbowed him, and a soft shuffle of chuckling broke out behind him. He looked around, surprised at the small group that had gathered to watch the goings-on. "Mulder - say 'I will'," Scully told him. He grinned stupidly. "I will." Scully laughed gently, and it warmed him to the core. The minister cleared his throat and closed his Bible. Then he spoke again, his voice ringing strong and clear to Mulder now. "Before we finish, I think those of us here should take a moment to reflect on the meaning of this small ceremony," he said. "It is a call for hope; a leap of faith in the face of the despair all around us. These two people believe in a future together. Let us all pray for the same strength." He smiled as he looked from Scully to Mulder, then back again. "I now pronounce you husband and wife." Mulder took her in his arms and kissed her as cheers went up around them. Then Scully was pulled away into Julie's hug, and Mulder turned to receive hearty handshakes from people he didn't even know. Finally allowed to turn his attention back to Scully, he held his arm out in a gentlemanly fashion. "Madame?" She looked at him with gentle surprise, then slipped her arm through his, eyes shining. "Shall we go for a honeymoon walk?" he asked. She nodded, and they walked in silence until they were well away from the camp. "This seems so incredibly... normal," he said finally. "Maybe someday it will be." He stopped walking, turned to her. "It will be, Scully." He brushed the hair back from her eyes, lingering a moment as it slipped between his fingers. "You've given me so much..." She started to speak, but he lay his fingers on her lips for an instant and she waited. "Life," he went on. "A real life. A heart that beats without pain. Strength. Insight. Love... I can't imagine what my life would have been without you in it. You've made me very, very happy, Scully, do you know that?" She nodded, her eyes glistening. "I *will* come back, baby. I will." She leaned against him, turning her cheek against his chest. He felt her listening to his heartbeat, and he hoped she could hear all that it was saying, because he knew that words would never be enough. ________________________________________________ She watched him go this time, standing on the front steps of the hospital as he walked away from her. He didn't turn around, and she knew that he didn't dare. His long figure became smaller and smaller until he seemed like a part of the distant scenery. Only then did he look back. She held up her hand, stretching it high so that he could see it. Slowly, he did the same. Then he turned away and walked on. Later, when she felt ready to face the bed they had shared, she went inside. Her head was buzzing, the sounds around her a jumble, but she didn't try to focus on anything besides putting one foot in front of the other. "Dana..." She looked up as Julie approached her. "Are you all right?" she asked. "I mean, under the circumstances?" "Yeah. I'm okay." "Dana, I know this isn't the best time, but we need to take care of your little problem *soon*. It'll be best to get it over with, honey. In the morning we can -" "No." Julie cocked her head. "Tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying." Scully was silent as she looked away. "Dana!" Julie's hand closed tightly over Scully's forearm. "You can't be serious! What are you going to do?" Scully looked at her again. "Nothing," she said, smiling softly. "I'm not going to do anything but wait." Then she gently shook off Julie's hand and walked down the dusky hall to her room. ______________________________________________ End... for now Feedback craved at rn500@ozline.net