From kelli@edgenet.net Mon Mar 17 22:48:56 1997 Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: "Road Blocks" From: Kelli Rocherolle -------- I did not write this. Please feel free to direct comments to kelli@edgenet.net and I will forward them to the authors, who wish to remain anonymous. And please specify "Road Blocks" in the subject heading so they will be easier for me to sort! Thanks, Kelli -------- "Roadblocks" By The Scarlett Otter and the Bondi Gargoyle Category: MSR, V, H Summary: On a stakeout, Mulder and Scully experience "technical"difficulties... Rating: PG-13 for sexual situations and language. Note: If you don't know Delaney, you can meet him in "Blind Faith" and "Sex, Lies and Videotape". Enjoy! Somewhere in Maryland Mulder was horny. He didn't know if it was because it was spring, becauseof some alien mind control or because he was sitting in a warm dark carwith the woman whom he felt was arguably the sexiest on this or any otherplanet. But whatever the reason, he was definitely horny. Unfortunately thewoman in question wouldn't let him touch her. "Mulder!" Scully's voice rang out as his hand strayed yet again. Shelowered the binoculars and glared at him. "Do I have to handcuff you tothe wheel?" "Would you please?" Scully groaned in reply, and Mulder knew it was not a groan of pleasure. "What am I going to do with you?" she asked. "Well, the handcuffs weren't a bad start." Scully smacked him lightly on the back of the head with her paperback. "Oh come on, Scully ..." he began. "You know you want to," she finished sarcastically. He leaned in close, his words a warm breath in her ear. "Well you know you do." Scully had difficulty swallowing. The not too out there truth was that shedid want it. She just couldn't get enough of him. Only that morning,she'd had trouble not throwing him to the floor and ripping his shirt off. They'd been sitting in a federal court room at the time. She'd been looking forward to their first night off together in twomonths, but inevitably Murphy's Law kicked in. So instead of curling upbefore a fire with little soft music and some white wine, they were on a fraud squad stake out, with the world's most boring talk in show, unlessyou were really into chess and a couple of cokes. "Mulder, for Pete's sake," Scully forcibly grabbed the wrist of his roving hand and threw it back in his own lap. "What's it's going to hurt," he asked softly, his eyes pleading with her. "What's so wrong about wanting to hold you?" Scully sighed. She swore he spent time conspiring with her dog. Both ofthem seemed to use the policy that if all else fails, roll over and beg. She was rapidly facing the fact that she was outnumbered. Mulder had himself and half of her on his side. She felt herself drifting toward the warmth of embrace. Soon, she'd have to start wearing a seat belt in stationary cars. Mulder sensed victory and shifted to take her into his arms. "What?" he asked as she suddenly sat back against her door. "I can't help but picture us telling Skinner that we missed some vital piece of evidence because we were too busy making out." He stared at her for a moment; then as the image formed in his own mind, he slumped back against the seat. "Thanks. Thanks a lot." "Sorry on all counts," Scully shrugged. "Why are we out here anyway?" asked Mulder. "We owe Skinner a favour." "Since when?" Dana cleared her throat. "Agent Mulder I barely recognised you with your tongue down your partner's throat," she mimicked their boss. "Sounds familiar?" "Well, the phrase does but not the action," he grumbled. Instinctively, she reached out to stroke his cheek in sympathy. "Don't tease," he snapped. "Sorry," she muttered, turning back to the window. "It's hard for me too, you know." It was Mulder's turn to sigh. "I'm sorry too." He paused. "So how long are we paying off this debt?" "I think that's up to our beloved A.D." Scully replied. Mulder shook his head sadly. "Let's face it: The Cubs are going to win the World Series before we have sex again." "I hear they're doing really well this season," the love of his life offered. He just looked at her sadly. "Where's the cooler?" "Behind my seat. You thirsty?" Scully offered her half drunk ice-tea. "No, I thought I'd drop some ice down my pants." Scully laughed, but it caught in her throat as she remembered what Mulder had done to her one hot sticky afternoon with a piece of ice. Glancing at him, she knew he'd just remembered it too. "Aw Christ Scully!" was all Mulder could manage as he jammed his fingers through his hair. Scully took a deep breath and slid over to him just as a knock on the window startled them both. Special Agent Matthew Delaney leant down into view, smiling at them through the window. "Well that's right on cue," Mulder barked, rolling down the window. "Huh?" Delaney stared at Mulder, as usual, a little unsure of what he was supposed to say next. Scully coughed pointedly. Mulder turned to her and there was a brief silent tussle of wills. Mulder lost. "Why are you here?" Mulder asked the younger man, with forced politeness. "I thought you might want to get off early. That is... I meant, well I didn't mean.... I just wanted to help." Matt blurted out. Mulder thought ruefully, but knowing Scully would maim him if he voiced the thought, he settled for: "Funny, you always do, but you never succeed" "Mulder..." Scully spoke his name, her voice full of meaning. They both knew they owed Matt a lot, not the least of which was keeping any suspicions he had about the exact nature of their partnership to himself. Delaney leaned against the car and peered in so he could see Scully. Despite a slight infatuation, he found he could actually string a sentence together when he was talking to her, a gift he lacked when dealing with Mulder. "Hi Scully," he waved. "Hey Delaney," Scully returned, a bemused smile on her face. "Thought I'd relieve you guys early." "Thanks, where's your partner?" "Food poisoning," Delaney explained with a shake of the head. "Not pretty. Anyway beat it you two." Scully poked Mulder, who was already fumbling for the keys. "What?" "Mulder..." "Oh all right." Mulder gave his best attempt at a genuine smile. It wasn't very good, but it was more than Delaney was expecting. "Thanks Delaney. We...we owe you." Scully resisted the urge to applaud the lukewarm performance. Resisted quite easily. "Oh, that's okay." Delaney smiled his best Midwestern smile. "Just one thing: Could you switch cars with me?" Mulder stared at him. "Why?" "Radio doesn't work. If I'm going to be out here on my own..." "Of course, Matt." Scully said quickly, before Mulder could answer. They switched out of their brown Taurus and into Delaney's green Intrepid, and the two senior agents set off homeward. "So that short cut of yours, it was short, wasn't it?" "Dana..." Mulder warned. "Don't you Dana me, Mulder. We should be home by now." "We will be soon. I think I recognise this corner here..." As they rounded the corner, the blacktop suddenly ended, leaving the continuing dirt road equally divided between ruts and rocks. They bounced for a further quarter of a mile before a loud thud announced that the right front tire had completely given up the struggle. Mulder brought the car to a screeching halt. "Well," said Scully, watching the dust settle in the moonlight. "I think we can now declare the evening a complete success." "So now what are we going to do?" Mulder asked, ignoring her jibe. This blow-out was not part of his carefully laid out plan. They were supposed to head straight to Mulder's apartment (the closer of the two) and spend the remainder of the night making sure they wouldn't be able to walk for the next two days. But once again, things weren't going to according to the master plan. "Maybe we should start by changing the tire." Scully suggested hopefully. "This is Delaney's fault you know." "Oh sure, blame the kid, 'cause he sure put his gun to your head and made you take the shortcut." "I'd expect you to take his side," snarled Mulder as he slammed out of the car, the evening finally getting the best of him. Scully got out and wandered round to his side of the car. She delicately laid her hand on his arm. "Look at it this way Mulder, the sooner we get the tire changed, the sooner we get home, and the sooner we get to do more interesting things." She was gently tugging at his trench coat's sleeve and rubbing his forearm. Mulder glanced down at her and began to smile. "Back in a flash," he told her, as he disappeared behind the raised lid of the trunk. The silence that ensued worried Dana. When she walked around to the other side of the car, she saw Mulder, head hung low, cursing under his breath at the trunk. "Something wrong?" Mulder was holding a mangled piece of metal which might once have been a jack in a previous life. But that was before some other agent (maybe even Delaney himself, Mulder couldn't help but think) used it as a battering ram. "So much for government issues, uh?" Scully snorted in disbelief. "They did it on purpose, Scully." Mulder conceded. Mulder had that tone. The tone that told her he was about to go just a little bit nuts. "I can feel it. It's Skinner. This is his way of making sure we never ever have sex again." Scully almost laughed, but it hit a little too close to home to be funny. "Let's go to plan B, then," the ever-pragmatic Scully suggested. "And that would be?" Mulder wondered. "Phone for help," Scully explained as she pulled her cell phone from her trench coat. As she turned it on, it made a sick little noise. "Damn it!" Dana hissed. "Battery's dead." She shoved the phone back into her pocket and extended her hand to Mulder, who had been unusually quiet throughout the whole scene. He just looked at Scully and she instantly knew there was more trouble ahead. "Well, Mulder, give me your phone." she stated. "I don't have it." Scully's gaze locked with his. "What do you mean: I-don't-have-it?" she enunciated clearly. "It's in the stake out car," he replied sheepishly. "And what would it be doing there, pray tell?" "Uh, it was in my breast pocket and kept on getting in the way when we, I..." he stumbled. "So I put it in the glove compartment." "Well, fuck me," Scully couldn't help but say. "I'm trying, Scully. I'm trying." Mulder muttered. He couldn't hold back the frustration. It was the middle of the night, they were in the middle of nowhere, and the temperature was dropping rapidly. "Okay, all right, I give up. Why don't we go back inside the car, keep warm and get some sleep. Maybe if we wait a few hours, I'll have enough battery power to call a tow truck quickly," Scully suggested. "Sounds good to me," Mulder answered, wrapping his trench coat tightly around his shivering body. They got back to their respective seats in the car without a word. Mulder finally broke the silence. "Well, here we are again. Stuck in a car with nowhere to go." Scully just blinked. "Come on Scully. We can't let it get to us. Might as well work with what we've got..." His voice had taken on a suggestive tone. He knew he now had her total attention. "Let's see...We have a car with some decent backseat room. It's the middle of the night, there's nobody around for miles, and we're gonna have to do something to raise our body temperature before we turn into popsicles." Once again, his hand had drifted to caress one of his favourite spots, just above Dana's knee. His mouth was merely inches from hers when he whispered: "I think I can work with that. How 'bout you?" God, he was so sexy when he whispered to her like that. It made her feel like they were the only two people left on the face of the earth. "I seem to remember hearing you say cars were uncomfortable for that sort of thing." "I'll make an exception." "Then I'd be willing to try," she whispered back, her nose rubbing against his. "So, Scully, have you ever made out in the back seat of a car?" There was an evil twinkle in his eyes. "Somehow, I don't think making out is all that you had in mind," she shot back, teasing. "I could never hide anything from you, Dana," he whispered as his lips grazed hers. "So I noticed" she purred, her hand travelling southward. And then all resistance was futile. Suddenly, it didn't matter where they were, or what the circumstances were. It was just Fox and Dana. Alone. Needing each other. One of Mulder's hands was stroking Dana's thigh, the other caressing her neck, as his fingers intertwined in her fiery hair. Dana's hands were bolder in their reacquaintance with Mulder's taut body. They found their way through layers of clothing to roam over his chest, up his arms, down his muscled back, before finally resting on his hips, urging him to get even closer to her. Mulder was purely acting on instinct now. From the moment Dana's mouth parted under his insistent lips, he stopped thinking all together, his actions driven only by his desire for the woman under him. His hands left Dana's head to make their way under her trench coat, under her suit jacket, to cup the delicate weight of her breasts. Scully groaned in Mulder's kiss. Mulder whimpered back as he felt her upper thigh rub against his. His body ached for her and they were both very aware of it. "Too many clothes," Scully let out after finally tearing her mouth away from Mulder's. She started undoing his tie, which was a considerably difficult task given that Mulder's face was deeply buried in Scully's neck, nibbling at the tender skin there, while his hand was still teasing her breast. "Getting warmer, Agent Scully?" Mulder teased. "By the second, Agent Mulder," she barely managed to reply as the first few buttons of her shirt popped open. Dana's hands moved to unzip the front of his pants in retaliation, to then cup him through the now straining material of his boxers. Dana heard his choked cry and a groan of frustration. "Fuck," Mulder muttered. "I'm trying, I'm trying..." Dana echoed. When Mulder's hands deserted Dana's trembling body, she moaned in frustration. "Fox, what is it?" she asked, her hand trailing down his bared torso. He didn't have a chance to reply. The knock on the window beat him to it. Mulder took a second to compose himself, pulled his trench coat over his disarrayed suit, and got out of the car quickly. He impatiently ran his hand through his tousled hair. "Your sense of timing is impeccable, Delaney. Did they teach you that at Quantico, or is it an innate talent of yours to appear at the worst possible moment?" Mulder blurted out. He just hoped that Delaney hadn't been able to see too much of what was going on in the car. The kid wasn't stupid. He would know what he'd just walked on. But knowing Delaney's long standing infatuation for Scully, Mulder felt that seeing her with her blouse opened to her midrift wouldn't do anybody any good. Scully rearranged her clothes and got out of the car. Having nowhere else to go that was safe, Delaney had started studying the tire, very, very intently. Mulder appeared at Scully's side. "You okay?" he whispered. She nodded. "Does this happen to other people?" "Other people don't have a Delaney," Mulder replied with more resignation than malice. Delaney looked up to see two, once again respectable agents, standing over him. He looked up at Mulder. "You don't have a spare?" he asked, puzzled. "*You* don't have a jack." Mulder retorted pointedly. "It's your car." Suddenly, Scully had an idea. "Mulder do we have a jack in the Taurus?" "A jack, a tire iron, a maglite, lots of heavy metallic things." Mulder's gaze never wavered from his prey. His face lit up. "I'll get them." "What for?" Delaney nervously asked. Mulder looked at him disparagingly. "Well, gosh, I thought maybe we could change the tire with them." "I'll get them," Delaney offered. He didn't quite like the idea of Mulder roaming in the dark with a blunt object. Mulder felt Scully's gaze on his back. He whirled around. "Mulder. Stay." Dana commanded. "Don't start with me, Scully." "Well, he is rescuing us." Mulder didn't take too kindly to that. "He's what? If you hadn't been so quick as to give him our car we wouldn't need rescuing," he accused. "Oh," Scully said sagely. "So this is my fault now. Okay. Remember you said that, when and *if* we ever get home." She turned and went to retrieve the maglite Delaney had just dropped on his foot. Mulder covered his eyes and shook his head in surrender. He took the jack out of Delaney's hand, and proceeded to jack the car up while the young man retrieved the spare. The very flat spare, as it turned out. The three of them stared at it for a while as if sheer desire might cause it to spontaneously inflate. Mulder thought ruefully. "Will the spare for the Taurus work?" asked Scully hopefully. Delaney shook his head. "One's a Ford, one's a Chrysler." "I think she can figure that part out on her own." sneered Mulder "She asked," Delaney defended himself. "She didn't ask that. Next you'll be telling her the colour..." "Boys!" Scully tried to interject several times. When that failed, she pulled out her gun and shot into the air. She tried not to laugh as both Mulder and Delaney hit the deck. "Now that I have your attention," she said calmly, re- holstering the weapon before she was overcome by the urge to lower her aim, "If you two are quite finished, can we please call a tow truck? Or leave the car here and come back for it in the morning." "I'll get my phone." Mulder stood up and dusted himself off. There was no way he was riding all the way back to the city with that punk. "Sorry," Delaney apologised to Scully as she offered him a hand up. "You have to learn not to antagonise him." "I don't think I can learn to stop breathing," Delaney replied. "Try." Scully said offhandedly, not really hearing him. She'd noticed that Mulder was standing outside the car, staring at it. When he got that quiet, she got worried. With good reason. "He locked the keys in." Mulder muttered to himself. Scully approached him cautiously. "What did you say?" He turned around. "He locked the fucking keys in the fucking car," he said calmly. Too calmly. "He what?" She laughed, not sure what she was laughing at. "The keys," Mulder said, also beginning to laugh. "They're in there, we're out here and never the twain shall meet." For some odd reason, this struck Scully as absolutely hilarious. She leaned on Mulder to stay upright as laughter consumed her. Delaney watched them guiltily, from a safe distance "Think about it Mulder," Scully gasped. "All either of us wanted to do tonight was go home and have sex." "Not a huge request in the general scheme." "Lots of people do it all the time. Just not us." Scully could now hear clearly the hysteria in Mulder's voice. "Maybe the gods are against us. Maybe your mother is conspiring against us to keep you a virgin." Mulder laughed uproariously, bracing himself against the car to hold both his own and Scully's weight. "Too late!" Scully howled. And then, almost as abruptly as the laughter had started, it ended. Mulder took a deep breath. He steadied his partner until she could stand on her own. Then, he picked up the tire iron and his eyes darted around, looking for Matt. Fortunately, Scully had regained enough composure to catch the motion. "No," she said firmly. "I'll make it quick and painless," Mulder promised loudly, before he dropped his voice. "I'm not going to hurt him...much. I just want to scare him." His tone told her he was now past just a *little bit* nuts. "Mulder, I love you very much, but right now I don't trust you at all." Scully informed him. "Now give it here." Mulder reluctantly surrendered his weapon. He turned and ambled back to the Ford Taurus. He idly kicked its very intact tires. It felt pretty damn good. Next, he tried kicking its very locked doors.That felt even better. Let Delaney explain that to the motor pool. He moved to the front and gave the bumper an almighty shove. Unfortunately, Matt had parked on an incline, and the parking break had never been that great to begin with. With a loud creak, the car slipped over the edge, and plummeted down the hillside into the dark. Moments later, a loud crash marked its untimely death. Mulder stood at the edge, rather awe struck by his own destructive power. Scully joined him. "Well, that was an adult expression of anger Mr Oxford- educated psychologist," she said, looking down at the wreck. "I don't suppose it ever occurred to you to just use the tire iron to break the window." He stared at her sheepishly. "Um. No." "Didn't think so," she nodded handing him the now useless wrench. "You think I should climb down and try to get my phone." "Do whatever you want. I'm tired of playing this game. I'm going to sleep." She strode back to the remaining car, expertly lowered the jack, yanked open the back door and got in. An image of Mulder breaking his neck scaling the ravine in the dark flashed into her mind, unbidden. "Fox William Mulder, get away from that edge!" she hollered. Thinking he had been forgiven, Mulder jogged over to her only to have the door unceremoniously slammed -and locked- in his face. Mulder sighed. He turned around looking for Delaney, who he noticed had slipped over to the edge. "And what do you think you're doing?" Mulder asked "Going after the phones? I was presidemt of the rock climbing club in college..." he started. "Get your ass back up here." Mulder barked. He towered over the young agent, poking him in the chest. "If I don't get to save the day, neither do you." Delaney got the message and slunk back to the car. Safely stretched out in the back seat, Scully covered her mouth to keep from laughing at them out loud. "Just get in the car " Mulder ordered, royally pissed. "Maybe this'll look better after a few hours sleep." Delaney reached for the passenger door. "Uh-uh" Mulder stopped him. "You get the steering wheel." "I thought you'd want, uh, that you'd be in, um, the back with, ah, Sc-" "Well, it doesn't look like it, now does it?" Mulder roared, his voice echoing into the night. Scully stuffed a sleeve of her trench coat into her mouth, trying to contain her laughter. As he walked around the car, Delaney wondered if he might not be better off in the trunk. His only fear was that he'd be stuck in there when Mulder killed this car too. Silently the two men got into the car. "Good night, John Boy," Delaney couldn't help muttering. Mulder's only reply was the arm he sent flying in Delaney's direction. Several Hours later Mulder shifted uncomfortably, he was cold and not the least bit tired. And hearing Scully breathing softly in the backseat wasn't helping him any. He glanced at the radio's clock. The numbers announced that it was five minutes since he'd last looked at it. His mind wandered and he pondered if someone had cast a spell on him. "And Mulder shall never get laid again. Ever." He knew he'd ruffled a few feathers working the cases he did, but he never did anything to deserve that. Well, not in his professional opinion anyway. He reached up and adjusted the rearview mirror so that he could watch his partner sleep. He'd never admit it, but watching her while she slept always had a soothing effect on him. It was as though it reminded him that he'd succeeded at something important. Her trench coat was pulled up around her ears, and she rested on one hand. He closed his eyes to listen to her breathe. A moment later, he opened them again and swivelled in his seat to look at her. "Scully, are you awake?" he asked softly. There was no reply. "You are, aren't you?" he persisted. "No," came the hissed reply. Mulder smiled to himself. "If you weren't mad at me, would you still be asleep?" "Maybe." She still hadn't opened her eyes, but Mulder saw the corners of her mouth twitch. "It's damn cold out tonight," he commented conversationally, his voice a whisper lest, God Forbid, he wake Delaney. "Aren't you cold, Scully?" "Maybe." She opened her eyes. "Are you?" "Maybe," he echoed. He glanced sideways at the form next to him. "Delaney's asleep, you know." "Lucky him," Dana replied, the corners of her mouth curling up. "You'd be much better company, Scully." He wiggled his eyebrows. Scully half raised herself up. "You're sure he's asleep?" She waited a few beats. "Matt?" All was silent. Very carefully, very gently, Mulder poked the arm that rested on the wheel. Delaney shifted a little, but did not surface. "He's out." Mulder confirmed. Their eyes met. Then Scully sat up and unlocked the back door. Mulder slipped out of the front, leaning on the door so it would close without slamming. He could not resist one hearty "YES!" to the night, before he carefully opened the back door and slid in next to Scully. It took them a moment to accommodate two bodies, one of them way too tall, to the bench seat, but eventually they were both quite satisfied with the result. "Not too heavy am I?" Mulder asked since 3/4 of his body was pinning Scully to the seat. "Best blanket I ever had," Scully confirmed, pulling his mouth down to her own. It wasn't long before the temperature in the car raised. Scully slid her hands up inside Mulder's jackets, seeking and finding the familiar muscles of his back and shoulders. "You could just get rid of those," Mulder murmured against her neck. "Gladly," Scully muttered back, deciding his shirt might as well go with them. "No fair," Mulder protested. "Fair?" Scully arched her eyebrow. "You're still fully dressed," Mulder pointed out, though he was unbuttoning his cuffs as he said it. "You're sure he's asleep?" Scully queried. "Positive," Mulder said urgently. "And hell, if he wakes up, Scully, I'll hit him with the maglite and knock him back out." "So much for that truce we established a few months ago," she replied, her hands lazily drawing ever growing circles around his belly button. Mulder drew in a breath. "That was forever? I thought you meant that week!" "Why are we wasting time on this anyway? Get back to what you were doing there, I'm getting cold." "Oh, I'll warm you up, don't worry." And Mulder's hands starting fulfilling his promise, as his mouth once again closed on her. He untucked the silk blouse she was wearing, and slowly slid it up her torso. Scully lifted her arms and allowed him to pull it over her head. "Isn't that better?" he whispered as Scully's torso immediately crushed against his, sharing his heat. "Oh much," Scully agreed. Her leg was slowly sliding up the inside of his, teasing him. "Oh really?" he smiled smugly, as her knee reached its goal. "Oh is that you, Mulder, I thought it was the tire iron." Her face was the picture of innocence. He grinned at her before he started to tickle her. But swiftly, she grabbed his hands. "I don't care if you hit him with an iron girder, Mulder. He's *not* gonna sleep through that," Scully protested. "Try something a little quieter." "What do you suggest?" he asked, his hands running up and down her spine. Scully whispered a few ideas in his ear, guiding his hands as she spoke. Unfortunately, their good ideas were futile: Delaney was already awake. The fact that it had gotten very quiet in the back seat did nothing to reassure him. he told himself. Scully moaned softly as Mulder's hand slid under the waistband of her underwear. "Ssh," Mulder warned in her ear. "Remember the kid." But "Hmmm" was all that came out of her. Mulder, of course, took that as encouragement, and made sure that Dana knew where the top of his slacks were. He was quite surprised when Dana proved that she, indeed, knew exactly where he was. "Like this?" She touched him, causing the air to escape from his lungs. "That's good," he gasped. She shifted her hand. "Like this?" "Better," he managed, God knew how. Scully paused briefly to listen for Delaney. Everything was still. "I can't believe we're doing this," she told Mulder as his teeth grazed her breast. "Oh, I want to believe, Dana," Mulder groaned breathily, his hips shifting restlessly. "I *really* want to believe." Matt decided, partially because he didn't think he could hold his breath any longer. He fumbled for the door handle. He was visualising just like his old boxing coach had taught him. He could clearly see his clean getaway into the night. It was a pity that he was so busy visualising, that his hand fastened on the seat release, not the door handle. Mulder bent to kiss Scully's collar bone just as Delaney's seat back collapsed onto his head. There was a yelp of surprise from Delaney, and a howl of pain from Mulder, as the bridge of his nose collided with bone. Delaney didn't wait for the aftermath. He struggled up, opened the door and ran. He doubted he could make it all the way back to DC, but he figured it was a good time to find out. And death by exhaustion seemed a nicer way to go. The back of the car was illuminated by the flare of the overhead light. Mulder looked down at Scully. He could feel her shaking beneath him and was sure she was overcome with embarrassment. He could almost guarantee she'd never let him touch her again. But he was shocked to find that she wasn't mortified. She was in fact...laughing. She was in absolute hysterics. "Scully?" he sat up, staring down at her wondering if the trauma had affected her mind. Flesh eating Mutants, Government conspiracies and being caught by Delaney three times in one night; there was only so much the human psyche could take. "Scully are you okay?" "I'm fine Mulder," she replied. Or at least that's what it sounded like; she was laughing too hard to really be intelligible. "Scully, you're scaring me. If you don't stop this, I'm going to have to slap you." She managed to contain the laughter for a moment and look almost composed. That was for about 4 seconds, before the laughter erupted again. "What is so damn funny?" Mulder demanded. "We just got caught about two heartbeats away from making love in the back seat of a car by my least favourite junior agent." "It's just..." Scully took a deep breath and tried again. "It's just that you've been threatening to hit him over the head all night, but so farthe only one who's gotten in a swing is Delaney." Mulder scowled at her. "I'm sorry, Mulder," Scully said genuinely, though the fact that she was giggling didn't help. "But if you could have seen your face..." "Okay that's it!" Mulder announced. "I quit. I give up. I surrender. I am hereby taking a vow of celibacy, because it's apparent I'm never having sex again!" He yanked on his shirt, jacket and coat, not bothering to do up any one of them, and stalked into the night. Scully watched him go, but decided it was better not to chase him until he cooled off. She hadn't meant to hurt his feelings, but there were times in a person's life where one had to laugh or cry, and she felt in this case laughing was healthier. She redressed, and settled back down to wait for one or both men to return. Preferably not at the same time. She wrapped her trench coat around her body tightly once more, and promptly fell asleep. Just before dawn, Scully felt herself snap awake. She looked around her. She was alone in the car. She looked out at the window. The sky was a velvety cross between blue and grey. "Damn!" she swore aloud. Mulder should have been back by now. Not to mention how she was going to explain to Skinner how they'd misplaced Delaney. She scrambled out of the car, cursing herself for not chasing Mulder last night. She figured Matt had only run a safe distance, but Mulder had been mad. He was capable of all kinds of things when he was mad, and they were all hazardous to his health. "Mulder?" she called out. There was no reply. She went to the trunk and found Delaney curled up in it. She shook him awake. "What are you doing in here?" He gazed up her owlishly. "Scully?" "Yeah Scully. Why are you in the trunk?" she repeated. "I'm really, really sorry about last night." "Look, we have more to apologise for than you. And right now I've got to go find Mulder. But once again: Why are you in the trunk?" "He went off that way." Delaney pointed to a trail that seemed to follow the edge of the ravine. "I figured I shouldn't leave you sleeping alone in the car, but Mulder would not take well to finding me in there with you...I mean I wouldn't be with you.. I mean we wouldn't..." "He's not here, Matt, you can stop stuttering. Get in the car before you freeze to death. I'll go find Mulder." Scully took off in the direction Delaney had shown her. "Mulder?" Still no answer. "Mulder, if you're not answering as revenge, I'm going to hurt you in ways you haven't even dreamed off." As an afterthought, she added: "And you can trust me, it won't be erotic." All was quiet. It unnerved her as to how close the path ran to the edge. If he'd come crashing through here in the dark... Well, it didn't bear thinking about. The path ended abruptly at an overhang. Scully took a deep breath. "Come on Mulder, tell me you didn't die frustrated," she muttered, trying to joke down her own terror. She got down on her stomach, and peered overthe ledge. The valley spiralled below her, making her slightly dizzy. Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and pulled her roughly from the edge. "What are you trying to do?" a familiar voice asked. Scully spun around and hugged him. "I was looking for you." "Why would I be down there?" Mulder asked. Scully opened her mouth to explain, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble. "I found a mechanic," Mulder told her. "Where?" "About thirty feet around the next bend." He laughed. "You mean...?" He nodded. "We could have been home in bed by eleven o'clock last night. Best not to think about it, Scully. It'll make you crazy." "Life with you makes already me crazy." "The mechanic doesn't open for another hour and a half," Mulder told her, moving past her to sit with his feet dangling over the edge of the cliff. "What the hell are you doing?" Scully screeched. He looked at her innocently. "Watching the sunrise. That's east. Want to join me?" He held out a hand. Scully felt a surge of annoyance. He was playing with her. But then, she remembered her fear that she'd find him next to the dead car. He'd had a rough night. If he wanted to play a few games, she'd go along with it. Wordlessly, she let him help her onto his lap, so that her legs too, hung out into space. Scully wasn't overwhelmingly fond of heights, but she felt surprisingly safe, leaning back into his solid chest, feeling it rise and fall. His arms were wrapped tightly around her middle, holding her in place. She folded hers over his, clasping his wrists, her head tucked under his chin. As the sky began to turn, blue surrendering to gold and then orange, they sat very still. Neither spoke, or even thought. They just shared. Finally, as the sun began to wash the valley in clean white light, Mulder whispered "I love you" in her ear. "I love you too," she whispered back. "And I'm sorry about last night," Mulder continued, gathering her tighter against him, if that was possible. "I shouldn't have pressured you so much. I mean you'd think I was 14, that I couldn't go one night without sex." She tilted her head to look up at him. "Mulder, I didn't do anything last night I didn't want to." "But Delaney..." "I think Matt is more embarrassed than either of us. Poor Kid." "I suppose this means I have to be nice to him again." Mulder said grudgingly. "Yes, this means you have to be nice to him. Very nice to him." "How nice constitutes very nice?" "Tell you what," Scully murmured, reaching up to stroke his unshaven cheek. "You be nice to Delaney, and I'll be very nice to you. In a different way." she added, as Mulder's mouth opened, a snide comment on his lips. "Do we have a deal?" "How nice were you going to be?" "Very, very nice" Scully said smiling. "I'll see what I can do." "Are the mechanics open yet?" Mulder glanced at his watch. "Not for another 45 minutes." He scooted back from the edge and pulled her to her feet. "I suppose the first part of this 'niceness' is that I should go look for the kid, uh?" "Oh, he's in the trunk," Scully replied. "In pieces?" Mulder asked, hopefully. "Yes Mulder, that old campfire story is really true, and he was chopped up by a homicidal maniac wearing a hook." "Funny you should mention that-" Scully put a hand over his mouth to stop him from continuing the story. She was not in the mood for an X-file. "The point is," said Scully firmly, "that Delaney is safe and sound. And we still have 45, make that 42 minutes to kill before the mechanics open." "And?" said Mulder cautiously. "And I thought I might give you some incentive on all that niceness," Scully smirked. She turned and moved toward the dense wooded patch of trees. "Coming?" "Not quite yet, but if you give me a minute..." Mulder quipped. "Why, Agent Mulder, don't tell me you've never made out in the woods before?" "Somehow, I don't think making out was all you had in mind..." he shot back. "Well, all those years I spent at camp have got to pay off somehow..." she concluded, grabbing him by the waist and finding refuge in the privacy of the deep woods nearby. Later "They taught you that at camp?" an incredulous Mulder asked, an hour later, still a little out of breath. "It was very...progressive," Scully said, straight faced. "I'll say," Mulder nodded, tucking his shirt back in. "Take me camping next weekend and I'll teach you what I learned as a junior counsellor." "And that would be what?" Mulder asked nervously, wondering if he was in good enough shape for the answer. "How to make a fire with a couple of sticks," she laughed, tossing pine needles at him "Isn't that what you just showed me?" a smug smile gracing his face. "I said sticks Mulder, not twigs." "Twigs, huh?" She smiled at him. "'Kay Scully, you pay for that one," he promised, launching towards her. Later still "Well Mulder, your outdoor skills aren't too bad either." "We'll have no more twig comments, thank you." Mulder smirked. She leaned her head on his shoulder, twined her fingers with his and tilted his hand so she could see his watch face. "So I guess the mechanics are open." "I think the mechanics might be at lunch," Mulder remarked dryly. "Oh, and now you're complaining about being behind schedule?" "Yes, but can I suggest you wait 'till we're back in the city limits to punish me for that remark, or we're going to wind up spending another night out here." Scully nodded and started doing the buttons on his shirt. "I'll have you know," Mulder said as they dressed, "I had to brave various wild beasts to find that mechanic. You ought to be glad I'm still in one piece." "I'm extremely grateful." Scully played along. "And what wild beasts would these be? Wolves? Cougars? Bears?" "Pigs," Mulder replied, reaching across Scully to retrieve a shoe and search around for the other. "Oh yes, very dangerous." "Don't worry, I know how to handle them." "And have you had much dealings with pigs before?" she asked suggestively. Mulder glared at her. "And just what are you implying Agent Scully?" "Hey you brought it up. I thought you had a guilty conscience or something." "I'll give you a guilty conscience..." he retorted, advancing on her, as she retreated into a tree trunk. "City limits, remember? City limits," she said, looking straight into his eyes. He had her trapped against the tree when Delaney's voice rang out. "Mulder? Scully? Listen I'm not coming in there. At least not for a while, but I thought you might want to know I found a mechanic. The car's fixed. Well, the Intrepid's fixed, the guy offered to give the Taurus a nice funeral. Thought you'd want to know, that's all. No pressure to come, I mean to finish, I mean... Never mind, you know what I mean." Mulder and Scully looked at each other and laughed. The beltway. "You know, Matt," Scully turned in her seat to look at him as he leaned forward in the back seat. "You never told us how you happened to find us." "The stake out was called off. We were watching the wrong building," Delaney explained. "Typical," Mulder muttered "You have absolutely nothing to complain about," Scully replied under her breath and then to Matt. "Okay, but how did you happen to be on that road?" "It's a short cut-" "Told you so," Mulder said, sticking out his tongue. "To Harper's Ferry," Delaney finished. "You were saying?" Scully asked her partner. "Why were you going to Harper's ferry?" asked Mulder. trying to deflect some of the attention off himself. "Mulder, that's none of our business," Scully interjected, noticing that Delaney was blushing a little. "Oh right, like we've got any secrets from him now." "I was going to see a girl." Delaney coughed. "A what?" Mulder hooted. Scully elbowed him. "I believe we made a deal which *you* already collected on." "Sorry. A girl. Well fancy that, Delaney. A girl." "Yeah someone I used to date in college," Delaney muttered, turning a deeper shade of red. "Well congratulations, old boy." Mulder really was happy. Maybe if Delaney got himself a girlfriend, he'd puppy dog after Scully a little less. Of course, he was getting kind of used to having the kid around. Mulder shook his head at that thought. Must be the sleep deprivation kicking in. "Hey Mulder," Scully said, turning back from something that had caught her attention outside the window. "We're back inside the City Limits." "Well, Lookie here," Mulder answered, his hand slowly creeping up her leg, "Just like on the map." THE END