From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 20 Jun 2006 12:32:46 -0000
Subject: Sam I Am 02 PG MSR  by hummbugg
Source: direct

Reply To: hummbugg@hummbugg.com


Title: Sam I Am 02
Author: hummbugg
E-Mail: hummbugg@hummbugg.com
Disclaimer: All credit to CC and Co.
Rated: PG

Notes: Most of this is dialogue. I loooooove dialogue.


X


The Gunmen had done a fine job of creating a new identity
for Samantha Mulder and her son. Frohike had been tempted
to ask Mulder if he could tag along for the ride. 
He kept his curiosity to himself. The less he knew the better
in the long run.

Scully had insisted on accompanying Mulder to Samanatha's
destination. He had flat out refused but she won him over
with long winded lectures on the importance of having
someone there to watch his back. She knew Mulder had only
agreed to shut her up.

They were eight hours into their journey and had another 
three days of driving ahead of them. Mulder had rented a 
non descript blue Taurus using a false drivers licence the
Gunmen had made for him. They used cash for their pre-trip 
and on the road purchases. The less of a trail they left the 
safer Samantha would be.

Scully had been a fairly quiet passenger. She knew Mulder
had his reasons for wanting to do this alone, and out of
respect for that she made herself as scarce as she could manage
inside the interior of the car. 

She watched his hand leave the steering wheel and make its 
way toward her lap. It hovered just above her upper thighs, 
his hand was waving over her lap like he was looking for
something.
She realized with a start what he was after.

She bent forward and pulled the one pound bag of sunflower seeds
balanced between her feet up onto her lap.

His eyes flicked over briefly.

"Thanks."

He reached inside the plastic and drew a handful of seeds out.
Once his window was opened he started splitting and spitting.
She listened to the soft crunching, watching as his lips and
tongue
parried with the shells.

"How do you feel?"

Her too silent voice finally filled the space around them.

He shot her a puzzled look before turning back to the road ahead.

"I feel fine. How do you feel?"

She was thoughtful for a moment. He helped himself to another
handful
of seeds while waiting for her response.

"I feel like.. this is so familiar."

He nodded, agreeing with her.

"And yet so new."

"New?"

"Yeah. We have done this a thousand times over the last few
years.
You and me on the open road, risking life and limb to find
answers
and expose truths. We've done this many times because of
Samantha.
It feels new to be doing this FOR Samantha. It feels.. nice."

He understood. It felt the same for him.

"Our lives are so.. different and complicated. 
Other people find their pleasure in such different ways, such
trivial ways. Isn't it funny that we feel a sense of completion
and satisfaction in driving cross country to deliver fake
documents
to an abductee?"

Mulder grinned. 

"Would you really want a normal life Scully? Now that you've
seen so much."

"I can't have a normal life because of what I've seen. It
doesn't mean I
don't want one."

"What is it about a normal life that calls to you?"

"Safety, security, the ability to trust."

"Scully you know as well as I do that innocent civilians aren't
any safer than you or I."

"Don't you at least miss the false sense of security?"

"No. I honestly don't."

"What about other aspects of normal life? Don't you miss being
able to go home
at the end of the day and have someone waiting for you?"

"I come home at nine o' clock most mornings. There's usually
always someone waiting
there for me."

She smiled at him affectionately.

"You know what I mean Mulder."

"Yes I do. Maybe it's you that doesn't know what I mean."

This was definitely delving into dangerous territory. 
She knew it would be wise to discontinue the path of
conversation, but her curiosity pressed her forward.


"Enlighten me."

He spat a shell out the window.

"Tell me what the difference is between going home every night
to a wife and coming to work every morning to you?"

"There is a huge difference. You can't compare the two."

"Why not?"

"Come on Mulder, as socially challenged as you are, even you know
the difference between a wife and a partner."

"Okay.. I will concede but only slightly. There is a difference
between
a wife and a partner. You sleep with one and you work with the
other.
Other than that you point out to me any differences."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't wash your dishes and pick up your
dry cleaning."

"Aah I have to point out that we have both picked up each
others dry cleaning
on the odd occasion."

"Okay fine. I don't live with you, I don't clean up after you,
I don't do your laundry"

Her smile was smug.

"No but we spend the better part of every day together, you're
ALWAYS cleaning up
after me don't even try to lie about that and you're right you
don't do my laundry,
you do the expense reports instead."

He laughed at the unimpressed expression he caught from the
corner of his eye.

"Think about it Scully. We eat together, work together, laugh
together, cry together.
We do just about everything together. The only time we're away
from each other is on the
odd free weekend or vacation. Or at the end of the day when we
each go home. How can I miss
the companionship that comes from a 'normal' life when I
already have a companion
in my not so normal life?"

"Whatever Mulder. Wives and partners are completely different.
I'm not convinced."

He laughed at her typical stubborness. 

"You know I'm right. The only difference is the intimacy. We're
lucky you know?"

"How?"

"Look how many married couples fail to make their relationships
work. Most married couples
don't take the vows seriously. Instead of rolling with the
punches together they end 
up fighting each other. We always roll with the punches
together, even if we're coming
from two different directions."

"I think most married couples these days get married for the
wrong reasons. They don't give
themselves enough time to establish a foundation."

"Exactly. People rush into the thrill of intimacy. Once the
honey moon bubble bursts and they
really see each other for who they are, they find that they
don't like what they see after all."

"For once we agree on something." A smirk played around her lips.

"That's why we're lucky. We see each other for who we really
are."

"You have to admit that sometimes we don't always like what we
see in each other."

"You're right, but unlike most people we take our vows
seriously and we overcome our difficulties."

"Our vows Mulder?"

"Unspoken but no less significant."

"I don't remember taking any vows."

"That's why they're unspoken. Actions speak louder than words
Scully.
You've shown me on many occasions the depth of your loyalty to
me and
to the work. Every day we're making vows; to trust, to honor,
to obey.
I don't need a wife, I have a Scully instead. I'll even let you
in on
a little secret."

"I'm all ears."

"I'd rather have a Scully anyday."

He was delighted to see her trying to hide a coy smile.

"Even a Bill Scully Jr?"

Her smile morphed from coy to wicked at point one of a second.

"Only if you agree to marry me. Having a wife would certainly
take
the edge off having a Scully in that little scenario."

She laughed delightedly.

"I love how you manage to piss my brother off even more than I
do."

He glanced briefly at her in surprise.

"You don't get along with Bill?"

It struck her as odd that for someone who knew her so
completely, he really
didn't know that much about her at all.

"Bill and I have never seen eye to eye. As kids we were overly
competitive when 
it came to outdoing each other. It went beyond sibling rivalry.
Imagine Bill's
surprise when his snotty little sister joined the F.B.I."

"I can't believe that you were ever snotty."

"I saved it all for him."

He chuckled. "I bet once you learned a few moves you used to 
beat the shit out of him."

"I'll never tell."

He reached for another handful of seeds, diverting just before
he reached the bag to settle his hand warmly on her knee.

She licked her lips and exhaled softly.

"Whaddya say we do what all normal people do when they're on a
road trip in the middle of the night."

"What are you talking about?"

"I saw a sign. There's a truckstop in another two miles. Why
don't we grab some coffee and a couple of
trucker hats to go."

His thumb ran over the top of her knee cap in a brief caress
before he placed his hand back on the wheel.

He was wearing that foolish grin he wore whenever someone
mentioned Elvis.

"Coffee sounds great."

"I'm buying you a trucker cap Scully."

"No Mulder. You're not."

"Oh yes. I believe I am."

"Save the money and buy me something extra nice for my birthday
if you bother to 
remember this year." Her tone was amused.

"Consider this a gift in advance."

"Mulder there is no such thing as a gift in advance."

"Sure there is I just made it up."

"Don't be so juevenile."

"Don't be so boring."

He pulled into the truck stop and cruised smoothly into a
parking space.

Once out of the car they stretched their cramped limbs. 

"Is your butt numb Scully?"

"Yes, not that it's any of your business."

He grinned. "Mine too."

They began to make their way to the entrance. On pure impluse
Mulder held his hand out to Scully.

"C'mon Scully. Lets go be 'normal'."

She slid her smaller hand into his and he squeezed her fingers
warmly


X


The following night:


"C'mon Mulder, wake up."

"Mmmm gimme five more minutes wake me up then."

She smiled down at him. He had reclined the passenger seat to
around halfway
and was sprawled out in sleepy long limbed glory. "You can
sleep for a few more hours 
if you wake up for just a couple of minutes."

There it was; that girlish tone of voice.

He cracked his eyes open and squinted at the face looming over
his.

"This better be good."

"We just passed through a small town. I found a motel."

He was awake now. His fingers clumsily unclasped the belt and
he sat up, running his fingers 
through his sleep tousled hair. "No we've got to keep moving.
I'll drive you sleep"

"Mulder we've been driving non stop for over a day. We would
cause a serious
accident. She knows it's going to take us a few days to get
there. We just need
to make sure we arrive in one piece."

She had a point and he was exhausted.

"C'mon we'll get a couple of rooms a hot shower will-."

"No. Just one room."

Her eyes widened slightly.

"Scully we're using our own cash and it needs to stretch. We
can't get two
rooms every time we stop. There's no bureau funding behind this
little excursion."

He had a point too and she was too desperate for hot water to
care.

"Fine one room. Lets go."

After checking in and hefting their bags into their room they
realized that one room in 
this case meant one bed. Both of them carefully side stepped
the issue by not bothering
to mention it. 

After some time had passed Mulder was convinced that she was
going to remain locked in the
bathroom all night. She wasn't the only one dying for a shower
and a fresh change of clothes.
Finally she emerged wearing pale blue pajamas, her damp hair
pulled off her face in a pony tail.
The little scattering of gold freckles across her nose and the
small beauty spot above her lip
were visible without their usual covering of make up. 

She perched on the end of the bed next to him, watching as he
surfed through the channels.

"I was about to kick the door down. I thought the flukeman had
returned."

She nudged him in the ribs with her elbow.

"I left you a couple of drops of hot water. Go make the most of
it."

"Generous to a fault aren't you? A dead seat G-Woman with a
heart."

She laughed and snatched the remote from his hand.

"No peeking at the triple x channel until I get back."

She rolled her eyes at the leer he tossed from the bathroom door.

Mulder was having way too much fun teasing her. This time there
was no other
motel room to escape to. Should she be excited or annoyed?

Deciding that she should be asleep, she crawled to the top of
the bed and slid beneath the covers.

Maybe if she fell asleep before he finished his shower it would
be like they hadn't shared a room at all.

No such luck. 

She laid there, her eyes glued to the bathroom door, her body
tensed in preparation for the eventual
slide of his body into the bed. After long minutes of running
water the sounds coming from the bathroom
ceased. The brushing of teeth began. She still had a few minutes.

Calm the hell down Dana. You're both here for the same reason;
to get a good nights sleep. In a soft warm bed.
Together in a soft warm bed, fresh and scrubbed pink from hot
showers, smelling sweet and relaxed.
Would he stay right on the edge or stretch out beside her in
the middle? Would he touch her?
Involuntary shivers raced up and down her spine. How long had
it been since she'd shared a bed with a man?
It seemed like forever since she'd felt the intimate warmth of
shared body heat beneath a blanket. Images of Mulder's
chest pressed to her back flooded her mind like chilli and
honey. Hot and unbearably sweet.

The bathroom door swung open. Sweats and a t-shirt. She would
have screamed if his chest was bare. 

Her eyes tracked him as he shuffled around the room, depositing
change on the bedside table, laying his wrist watch
next to the coins. All the things a man did at the end of the
day. It was so normal and yet completely abnormal.
Finally he lowered himself to the edge of the bed and turned so
his back wasn't to her.

"You look tired Scully."

At least he didn't say 'You look horny Scully'

"I'm exhausted."

"I know I said I didn't want you to come with me, but thank you."

"Anytime."

He smiled then reached out the switch off the bedside lamp. The
room fell into darkness and a moment
later she felt the bed shift and dip to accept his length. She
wondered if her body would be as
welcoming of him as the mattress was. His long legs stretched
out luxuriously and he released a deep contented
sigh. "Oh man is my back loving this. Shame we don't have any
magic fingers eh Scully?"

She smiled in the dark.

"Magic fingers always run out too quickly."

"Are you saying the magic fingers have no staying power?"

She heard the leer in his voice.

"No I'm saying they're a waste of money."

"You're no fun Scully."

"And you're a comedian. It works."

"Yes it definitely does."


X


It took her awhile to drift off but once she did his eyes had
free reign over her face and shoulders. 
Her side of the bed was bathed in moonlight. He took the
opportunity to study her.
Her face contradicted itself wonderfully. The sharp point of
her chin flowed softly into a well defined, 
yet entirely feminine jaw. He appreciated the way she was
simultaneously sculptured yet soft. 
Her full mouth was soft and slack in sleep, her lips were
slightly parted, the barest glint of pearly teeth
peeking out at him. Her mouth looked like a ripe strawberry,
waiting to be savoured. 

Maybe two rooms had been a good idea after all.

There is a difference between a wife and a partner. You sleep
with one and you work with the other.

His words circled lazily, tickling the edges of his mind. 

So this is what it was like to sleep with Scully. 

This is what it would be like if they were 'normal'.

Don't you miss being able to go home at the end of the day and
have someone waiting for you?

"No but I miss having you like this at the end of every day and
I don't even know what it feels like."

Her eyelids fluttered then lifted to reveal the sleepy blue
beneath.

"Mmm what's wrong?"

"I said I miss having you like this at the end of every day and
I don't even know what it feels like."

"Huh?"

"Yesterday in the car you asked me if I miss being able to go
home at the end of the day and have someone waiting for me."

Speedy Scully didn't take long to catch up. Her stomach flipped
almost nauseatingly. Her heart pounded so fiercly against
her chest she thought it would surely burst through her ribcage
to land on the bed between them.

"What are you saying Mulder?"

"I'm saying that there seems to be some pretty good perks to
having your partner as your
significant other."

"Mulder you're half asleep. Do you have any idea what you're
saying?"

"No YOU are half asleep. I'm wide awake. I know exactly what
I'm saying."

"Go to sleep Mulder."

"Scully you're not getting around this conversation."

"No I'm not because you are going to sleep."

"Scully-."

"Mulder we've been on the road for days. We're stressed out,
we're covering our tracks
and we've been having some really weird conversations amidst
the highway hypnosis.
We're not used to sharing a bed it's natural that you may feel
this way at this moment. 
Just go to sleep you'll feel much clearer in the morning."

"Scully-."

"Mulder please don't do this."

"Why?"

"I just told you why."

"Well that's not good enough. I want a real reason."

"Mulder-."

"I mean it Scully. I want the truth."

"Look my reasons are the truth, I don't want your judgement
affected by our situation.
I don't want to hear what you have to say right now because you
may regret it tomorrow. 
If you're absolutely certain about this now, you'll still be
certain in the morning and
we can talk about it then."

"You uh you don't include me in your thoughts of a normal life,
that's it right?"

She sighed. When she finally spoke her voice was low.

"Did I say that?"

"Not in so many words.."

"Not in ANY words. Damnit Mulder! Why can't you ever just let
anything go?"

"I told you I want the truth. If you're afraid that the truth
will hurt me that's your problem not mine.
I want it anyway; good or bad. If your visions of a normal life
don't include me then just tell me
and we can go to sleep and I'll stop annoying you right now. I
promise."

"In the event that you may regret and choose to withdraw any
statements or actions that you
intend to make tonight, I think it's wise for us to postpone
said statements and or actions to 
a later time when we're both clear and ready to deal with the
outcome."

"Don't you dare pull that on me!"

"Then don't push it with me!"

"Then stop making me push it with you."

His voice was a dark growl. She watched has he rose on an elbow
and loomed over her to get right in her
face. "Get away from me Mulder." Her own growl matched his.
"Then tell me you don't want me."

"Mulder get out of my damn face."

"Tell me you don't want me."

"I'm warning you."

"Tell me."

"Just stop it."

"Say it!"

"I can't alright! I can't. Are you happy now?"

"Now tell me, if you want me, why are you holding me back."

"I just.. I just don't want to get hurt okay? I don't want this
to be a product of our overwrought emotions. We just got your
sister back.
That's a huge emotional rollercoaster we're going to be riding
for awhile. 
I don't want to be believe in something that you may feel
wasn't really there to begin with."

"Do you believe that I'd hurt you?"

"Not intentionally but-"

"Do you trust me?"

"You know the answer to that."

"Do you love me?"

"Mulder don't do this please I just told you I-."

"Do you love me?"

"Mulder stop! Please I need some time. We need time."

"You can have all the time you need, just answer the question."

"It's not a good idea-."

"Scully just answer the damn question! DO-YOU-LOVE-ME?"

She bit her lip and turned her face. "You know I do."

His eyes softened and he placed a kiss on her turned cheek.

"What makes you think that I don't feel the same?"

"I.. I'm just.. god I hate this word.. I'm scared. I've sort of
resigned
myself to my fate and I'm afraid to change it."

"What fate is that?"

"Being alone."

"Oh Scully." Another kiss to her cheek. "Just because I've been
slow to move ahead it doesn't
mean that I don't love you. I'd never willingly leave you
alone." He rubbed his cheek along hers
like a cat. "I was cautious at first, then I got comfortable.
I'm comfortable with you and that's
amazing because I'm not really comfortable with too many other
people. I've always trusted you enough
to let my guard down. I'm trusting you right now because I know
you feel the same way."

She turned to face him and his arms slid around her, drawing
her into his chest.

"I know that we're both very private people, and it's goint to
take some time for us to
grow accustomed to this. We took the first step by being honest
and that's good enough for now.
I don't like making promises that I can't keep but there is one
promise I can make to you; 
I will definitely not regret this tomorrow or ever."

"I hope so Mulder."

"I believe so."

 THE END MORE TO COME IF YOU BEG NICELY LOL JOKING