********************************************************************** This author's e-mail address has changed to: ebonyun@telusplanet.net ********************************************************************** From bonyun@oanet.com Fri Nov 01 00:03:22 1996 This entry is a little late, but here is my Halloween story. *** Please forward to a.t.x.c. *** SARAH'S STORY 1/2 by Eleanore RATING... General WARNING... Scully/Mulder relationship DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of the television program "The X Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. X-PHILES: You are welcome to re-post or otherwise distribute this story among other X-Philes, as long as you do so for free, and my name and e-mail address go with it as author. SUMMARY: This story was inspired by two of Carol Gritton's stories: "Sarah" and "Vignette". They are both about Mulder and a daughter. Although "Vignette" was not intended as a sequel to "Sarah", they shared many elements, and with just a few changes, I have continued Sarah's story to the point where she meets Scully. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SARAH'S STORY 1/2 by Eleanore "So, Scully... you get many kids coming by your place on Halloween?" Mulder popped a black jelly bean into his mouth from the cauldron on Scully's desk. "About a hundred last year. I ran out of goodies and had to give money instead." She took an orange jelly bean, thinking that she and Mulder were like Jack Spratt and his wife. He would only eat the black ones and she only wanted the orange ones. One of the few ways in which they were serenely compatible. Too bad it was only for about three days out of the year. "Luckily I had most of a roll of quarters left over from doing my laundry." "What kind of candy do you give out?" "A couple of those mini chocolate bars, and a handful of caramels." "No wonder you get so many kids then. They probably come from blocks around." "Most of them are from the low rental apartments behind my place." She shrugged and took another jelly bean. "I can afford it, and I enjoy doing it. What do you give out?" "The kids don't come into my building. The pickings are too slim. Too many old bachelors." He looked a little disturbed. Scully wondered if the look was because he classed himself among the old bachelors or because he missed being able to participate in Halloween. "You want to come over and help me hand out the candy, Mulder? I usually get some kind of a costume together and have a little fun with it. We could do something like... Laurel and Hardy?" A grin lit up his face. Scully as Hardy would sure be something to see. "Thanks for the offer, Scully, but I've got plans, and I've got a costume rented already." "Oh. What are you going to be?" "Can't tell you that. We might make it to your house, and I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise." He smiled at her almost apologetically. "You mean you're going trick or treating? Surely you're a little too old for that, Mulder." Who was he going with? Frohike? "I got talked into it." Mulder watched his finger stirring the jelly beans around in the cauldron. Scully nodded. Did he want her to press him about it, or did he want her to just let it go? "Mulder?" He looked up at her again. "I get the feeling that there's something you want to tell me. In fact, I've been getting that feeling for a while now." She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "What's wrong?" Mulder briefly covered her hand with his. "Thanks, Scully. I'm not quite ready to tell you." He gave her a long serious look, that said... well, she really didn't know what it said, but it was very unsettling. Then he got up and prepared to leave the office. "You'd better go home, too. It'll be getting dark soon and the little kids start their trick or treating pretty early. Maybe I'll see you later." He turned and smiled at her before he went out the door. "Bet you five dollars you won't recognize me." "You're on, Mulder." But she noticed that his eyes didn't have their old teasing twinkle. Scully stayed seated at her desk and worried about Mulder. Lately, he had been quiet and preoccupied... and he seemed to be tired all the time. Something was keeping him awake nights. He really hadn't been himself since he had come back from that holiday. The fact that Mulder had even taken a holiday was remarkable. He had announced one day that he was taking some time off, and he had left town for nearly a month. No explanation. At first Scully had thought that he was off investigating some paranormal incident that was too far fetched to even tell her about. However after two weeks had gone by, she had given up on that theory, figuring that by that time he would either have filled her in with enthusiastic optimism, or come home disappointed. He had called a couple of times a week, just often enough to keep her from panicking and chasing off to rescue him, but he had continued to be unusually close mouthed about what he was up to. She had been a little hurt... had wondered if he might have found a girlfriend... but his behaviour since he had come back had not been that of a man in love. She knew that he hadn't been at his mother's, because Mrs. Mulder had called Scully looking for him sometime in week three. She knew that he hadn't been in touch with the Lone Gunmen, because she had run into Byers on the street and had asked him point blank. Of course, Byers might have been lying... but she didn't think so. Being the most "normal" of the Gunmen, he wasn't as good at lying as the others. Then without warning, Mulder had reappeared at work one morning, mumbled something vague about `a change being as good as a rest', and carried on as if nothing had happened. No, that wasn't true. He had tried to carry on as if nothing had happened, but he wasn't the same man. His usual insouciance had vanished. He no longer plagued her with inane pleasantries. He no longer kept her working late, or took her out for midnight pizza. Not once had he rushed her off to catch a plane on the spur of the moment. In fact, he had started to behave like a normal person... working hard from nine to five, then going home. It was downright creepy. Was it possible that Mulder had gotten a life? She had tried once or twice to get him to talk about it, but he had only side stepped her, and pride prevented her from showing up at his door. She didn't own him, after all. Sighing, she got up to leave. Today was the first time that he had even admitted that there was something on his mind. Maybe she would get her answer soon. Scully had her feet up on the coffee table, watching "Frasier" and enjoying the last of the caramels, when the familiar `trick or treat' rang out at her door one last time. She hadn't had a customer for over half an hour and had taken off her eye. Hastily she stuck it back in and grabbed the treat basket that now only held a half dozen little candy bars. "Trick or treee... " The little girl moved closer to her taller companion, struck dumb by Scully's costume. "You guys are out late", Scully cackled, moving her head about to make the gory eyeball dangle disgustingly on the end of its optic nerve. "But I think I have a couple of poison apples left." The Great Big Bear leaned down and whispered something comforting into Goldilocks ear. She nodded, her blond ringlets bouncing. She held out her porridge bowl, complete with spoon and said again, "Trick or treat." The Great Big Bear also held out a great big porridge bowl. "I've had my sugar for tonight. You kids can have all of these." Scully pushed the dead rat aside to scoop three little bars into each of the porridge bowls." The great big bowl held a lot more candy than Goldilock's bowl. "You look a little big for trick or treating," Scully croaked up at the bear. "I trust you're going to share some of that with your little sister." The Great Big Bear growled, and Goldilocks laughed. "Bad bear," she scolded. The Great Big Bear hung his head and put his paw over his eyes. "He's just carrying it for me," Goldilocks assured Scully with aplomb. The Great Big Bear whispered to Goldilocks again. "Can you guess who we are?" the little girl asked, her face alight with anticipation. "I'm supposed to know you, am I?" Scully made a show of scratching the big hairy wart on her chin as she thought. The child had big dark eyes beneath the yellow wig. "Are you Katie Scully, and is that bear my brother Charles?" Goldilocks shook her head emphatically. "Guess again! Guess again!" Scully twisted her mouth up and pulled a spider out of her frizzy grey hair. Her Godson had a little sister, but she didn't think that she would be that tall. "Are you Tessa McKendrick and is that you in the bear suit, Ellen? Why isn't Trent with you?" The little girl laughed in delight. She looked up at the Great Big Bear. He nodded. Goldilocks pulled off her wig with a flourish. "It's me, Sarah!" she crowed in triumph. The little girl's glossy dark hair was held back with an elastic. Without the wig shadowing her face, Scully was able to see the few freckles on her snub nose, and the rich brown of her eyes. One of her baby teeth had fallen out recently, leaving an endearing pink gap in her wide smile. Scully had no idea who this beautiful child was, but she wouldn't dream of spoiling her moment. "Hi there, Sarah. You sure had me fooled." Scully was speaking in her normal voice now. She pulled off her own wig and removed her fake eye. "I'm Dana." They both looked up at the Great Big Bear expectantly. There was a brief hesitation before the bear pulled off his head. "I'm Sarah's father," Mulder said quietly. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ END OF PART 1/2 comments to Eleanore From bonyun@oanet.com Fri Nov 01 00:03:31 1996 This entry is a little late, but here is my Halloween story. *** Please forward to a.t.x.c. *** SARAH'S STORY 2/2 by Eleanore RATING... General WARNING... Scully/Mulder relationship DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of the television program "The X Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. X-PHILES: You are welcome to re-post or otherwise distribute this story among other X-Philes, as long as you do so for free, and my name and e-mail address go with it as author. SUMMARY: This story was inspired by two of Carol Gritton's stories: "Sarah" and "Vignette". They are both about Mulder and a daughter. Although "Vignette" was not intended as a sequel to "Sarah", they shared many elements, and with just a few changes, I have continued Sarah's story to the point where she meets Scully. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SARAH'S STORY 2/2 by Eleanore There was a brief hesitation before the bear pulled off his head. "I'm Sarah's father," Mulder said quietly. Scully actually shook her head in disbelief. Had she fallen asleep in front of the television? Mulder's eyes were silently pleading with her to make this easy... to accept this without fuss. "Could we come in for a few minutes?" Stepping back, Scully let them both in and automatically closed the door. This was surreal. Her guests moved into the living room, where Sarah dumped the contents of the two porridge bowls on the rug and happily began to sort the candy. Mulder stood, uncertain, bear head in hand. "Remember, don't eat anything that isn't store wrapped," he said to Sarah, but his eyes still spoke to Scully. I'm sorry. I know it's a shock. Please forgive me. Please accept her. She's an innocent child. I love her. She's part of me. I need you to accept her. "Scully? You look like you could use a cup of tea. I'll put the kettle on, okay?" Nodding, Scully decided that she needed to sit down. Just a few weeks ago, when they were in Home, Mulder had said to her that she didn't know him as well as she thought. What an understatement. Had he had this revelation in mind then? No, to be fair, she didn't think that he had. There was a touch on her arm. "Daddy said that I should ask you if it's okay to call you Dana?" Sarah's brows peaked with tender concern... just the way that Mulder's did. Scully nodded. She mustn't scare the child by acting like there was something wrong. Relaxing her face into a smile she said, "That would be nice. You can call me Dana." "Where do I put this garbage, Dana?" Sarah indicated the wrappers and the few unwrapped candies that still lay on the rug. "There's a can under the kitchen sink. Here, I'll help you." They gathered up the debris and took it into the kitchen together. After Sarah had skipped back into the living room, Scully turned to face Mulder. There were so many questions. "Her mother died recently. Cancer." Mulder's voice was low and matter of fact. "She needs me now." Comprehension. The holiday... not a holiday at all. A bedside vigil for someone he had cared about. The shorter working hours, the fatigue and distraction... all due to this child. "Why didn't you tell me as soon as you got back, Mulder?" "I was waiting until I knew that I was going to have permanent custody. The word just came from the lawyers today. And I wasn't sure how you would take it." He handed her a mug of tea, his bear paw dangling from his wrist. "I was afraid that you might be angry or hurt." Scully sat at the kitchen table. She really couldn't think of anything to say. There was a great big hole punched right through her middle. If there was anger and hurt, she was too stunned to feel it just yet. One by one she pulled off her long black fingernails. Mulder sat opposite her. "That's quite the eye. Where did you get it?" She looked at him, covered in brown fur... looked at herself in hag rags... and felt an insane need to laugh. "From an educational supply house. It's anatomically correct." His grin was the catalyst. She did laugh, and he laughed with her, but she wasn't really laughing. Sarah came running in from the other room. "What are you laughing at, Daddy? Can I have some tea, too?" She climbed up on Mulder's lap, where his arm wrapped around her lovingly, with the ease of long acquaintance. Oh, yes. All of a sudden there was hurt. Scully got up, wiping away the tears. As she filled a third mug with milky tea, she watched how Mulder's hand absently caressed Sarah's arm... how his lips brushed lightly against her hair. This evening just got stranger and stranger. She was jealous. Jealous of some unknown dead woman, because she had been close enough to Mulder at one time to bear him a child. Jealous of Mulder, because now he had someone to love, and Scully was still all alone. She didn't even have that damned dog anymore. Jealous of Sarah, because Mulder unhesitatingly gave her the kind of physical affection that Scully longed for. Mulder looked at Scully's stiff white face, and cursed himself for a fool. It had been a mistake to spring it on her. He had hoped that Sarah herself would soften the blow, that Scully would take to her, maybe want to mother her. Scully had barely said a word, but he could see in her stricken eyes that there were a thousand things needing out. He should have had the guts to talk to her about it beforehand, so that she could vent her feelings freely without the child overhearing. When Sarah had finished her tea, Mulder said, "We should be going home. It's getting late." He stood and peeled off his bear suit. "You get out of your costume, Sarah, and I'll go down to the car and get your night gown." He explained to Scully. "She'll fall asleep in the car. If she gets ready for bed here, all I have to do is carry her up and tuck her in. It hardly wakes her." How quickly he had taken on the role of parent. Scully watched the little girl undress. If it had been one of her nieces or nephews, she would have helped with the tricky parts, glad to have a chance to mother, to touch their perfect little bodies, bursting with life's energy. But this child was not related to her. Instead, Scully excused herself, saying that she would change out of her costume, too. When she returned to the living room, in slacks and sweater, Mulder was packing away the costumes in a sports bag. "Where is she?" Scully asked. "Brushing her teeth in the bathroom." He looked up at Scully from where he was kneeling on the floor. She was stiff and straight, perfectly composed and controlled. "I'm sorry, Scully. I haven't handled this very well." Scully sat in the armchair. "I'm sure it hasn't been easy for you, Mulder," she said in a cool, reasonable voice. "Who looks after her when you're working?" Mulder zipped the bag closed, then got up to sit on the couch opposite Scully. "I hired someone from a service to come in daily, but it's expensive. I need to find someone local, with kids, who's willing to do after school care. Hopefully someone flexible, who would take Sarah overnight when I can't get home." He stopped talking. Scully didn't look like she was very interested in his new problems as a parent. He swallowed his disappointment. He hadn't realized just how much he had looked forward to talking this over with her. How much he had needed to share his hopes and fears with her. Sarah came back into the room in a demure flannel nightie and Sylvester the Puddy-Tat slippers. Mulder helped her into her robe and tied it snugly around her. She sat beside him on the couch and his arm went automatically around her. "It's time for us to go, Sarah." He didn't want to go yet. "No, Daddy. You have to tell me the bedtime story first." "When we get home." "No. I'll be too sleepy then. Tell me now. Please?" Her face was pinched and anxious. Mulder looked across at Scully. "It helps her sleep," he said apologetically. Scully gave a tight smile. "That's okay." "Once upon a time there was a beautiful baby girl. She had big brown eyes and dark brown hair. Her mother thought that she looked like her father and her father thought that she looked like her mother. But they both agreed that she was beautiful and they loved her very much. They named her Sarah Elizabeth. "Sarah lived with her mother. Her mother lived in Boston and she had an important job, so she had plenty of money to look after Sarah. They lived close to Sarah's grandmother, who would babysit Sarah, and Sarah's aunt and uncle, so Sarah had cousins to play with. Sarah's father lived and worked in a different city, but he visited Sarah as often as he could." Mulder's gentle narrative made Scully long for the comfort of her own childhood, and her own father. She couldn't watch Mulder anymore. Her jealousy was corroding her inside. Bitterly resenting a small, motherless child was not something to feel good about. "When Sarah was two years old, her mother married a man named Jim. Jim was Sarah's step-father. Now that Sarah had a step-father to play with her and look after her, her father didn't come to visit as often, but he still loved Sarah. Unfortunately, after a couple of years, Sarah's mother and Jim decided that they weren't very happy being married to each other after all. Jim got a different job and moved away. Now Sarah had two fathers who loved her and tried to visit her as often as they could." Sarah nodded and smiled around her thumb, which had snuck into her mouth. She was snuggled down with her head on Mulder's lap. He stroked her back as he continued. "When Sarah was five, her mother got sick. She didn't tell either of Sarah's fathers that she was sick, because she didn't want them to worry about her. She wasn't very sick at first. The doctors gave Sarah's mother medicine, and she was sure that she would be better soon. "But Sarah's mother didn't get better. She got sicker. Soon she was too sick to work. Finally she was so sick that she had to stay in the hospital. Now Sarah's mother told Sarah's two fathers that she was very sick. She told them that someone else would have to look after Sarah. "Sarah's mother was so sick now, that she was hurting all the time. It was time for her to go. One night she fell asleep and didn't wake up. Everyone cried because they missed her, but they knew that it was better this way, because they knew that Sarah's mother was not hurting anymore. Sarah missed her most of all, and it was very hard to get used to not having her around. And Sarah was afraid because she didn't know who was going to look after her. "Sarah's Grandmother said that she loved Sarah, and she would be happy to look after her, but Grandmother was getting old. She didn't see very well any more, and she was having trouble walking. Sarah's Aunt and Uncle said that they loved Sarah, and they would be happy to have her come and live with them, but they already had five children to look after. Sarah's step-father said that he loved Sarah, and he would be happy to look after her, but he was moving way up north where it was cold and snowy most of the time. Sarah would be very far away from her other relatives, and there would be no other children and no school for Sarah to go to. "Sarah's father said that he loved Sarah, and he would be happy to look after her. He had always lived alone, but he thought that it would be very nice to have his little girl living with him. He was starting to get lonely living all by himself. So they packed up all of Sarah's things and took them to Washington." Mulder leaned over his daughter and saw that her eyes were closed... the thick lashes dark against her smooth cheek. He glanced up at Scully. She had her head turned away from him, and her posture was still rigid. Not sure whether Sarah was still able to hear him, he continued in the same narrative tone. "Most of Sarah's father's friends didn't even know about Sarah, because she had always lived in Boston. He was a little afraid to tell them that his daughter was going to live with him from now on, because he thought that some of them might be angry that he had never told them about Sarah. He thought some of them would laugh and tell him he was crazy... that he wouldn't be a very good father. And he was afraid that they might be right. But he knew that he really wanted to be a good father, he really wanted to have Sarah live with him. The first few days were hard. Sarah's father didn't have the kind of food that little girls needed. He didn't even have a bed for Sarah. So after work, they would go shopping together to get things to eat and things that little girls needed to be comfortable. Sarah had to start at a new school where she didn't have any friends. She cried when she thought about all the friends that she had left behind. Sometimes at night Sarah would have bad dreams. She was afraid that her father would get sick and leave her like her mother had. She needed her father to be close to her all the time so that she would be sure that he wasn't going to leave her. Her father would sit beside her on the bed while she slept and think about all the changes that he would have to make, so that Sarah would grow up safe and happy. It was hard, but they managed. They got better at it. They started to laugh and have good times, and Sarah would sometimes forget how much she missed her mother. Sarah's father started to feel that he was going to be a good father after all. Then, on Halloween, he finally got the news that he had been waiting for. The lawyers had arranged things so that Sarah could stay with her father forever." Mulder sighed. Scully still wouldn't look at him. "Scully? I don't know why I never told you about her. I wasn't trying to keep it from you... it just didn't seem to have anything to do with our lives. I just assumed that she would grow up with her mother in Boston, and I would only see her occasionally. Annie didn't encourage me to see her too often. Didn't want me polluting her mind with my nonsense about UFO's and abductions. You and Annie would have gotten along famously." He smiled and hoped for a smile in return. Scully only shifted her focus from the coffee table to her hands. "Then things happened so fast at the end. Annie said that she wanted me to have Sarah, and five days later she died." "How did you meet her?" Embarrassed by her curiosity about this other woman in Mulder's life, she added hastily, "You don't have to tell me anything about her if you'd rather not." "It's okay. She was a chemist and a journalist. Science editor for the `Tribune'. I met her over some UFO controversy, and we dated for a bit, but we were never close. Sarah's conception was an accident. For me, a happy accident." Scully digested that for a bit, but she said nothing. Finally, Mulder slipped out from under Sarah. He put on his jacket and stood for a moment undecided. Scully looked lost and miserable. He wanted to reach out to her, to reassure her, but he knew from her expression that any contact would be rebuffed. He wasn't quite sure why she was taking it so hard. He realized that he had been more or less assuming that she would help him in this new project, as she helped him with so many things. Perhaps that had been a mistake. After all, why should she be interested in some other woman's child? He slung the sports bag over his arm and scooped Sarah up. She was out like a light, limp and warm in his arms. Her fragrance, her silky hair... everything about her stirred his instincts, and he knew that he would slay dragons to protect her. He started towards the door, Scully's eyes following him and his precious burden, but he stopped and turned back. Somehow he knew that it would be a grave mistake to leave Scully here by herself, and as caught up in this new fathering thing as he was, he hadn't lost sight of the fact that Scully was also very important to his happiness. He didn't know why he did it. Scully just looked so cold, and Sarah was so warm. Bending down he gently placed the sleeping child in Scully's lap. She didn't want to hold the little girl, but Mulder pulled his support away and Scully was forced to put her arms around the sleeper. She tried to feel resentment, glancing up at Mulder with her `what the hell are you up to now?' look on her face. He knelt down before the two women that he loved, smiling uncertainly, hopefully. The child was warm and heavy, long in limbs, like Mulder. Scully fought against it, but her hand came up to brush the hair back from the child's face. The skin was so smooth. Scully's hand lingered on her cheek a moment, then took hold of one of the soft, immature hands as she gazed at her in wonder. Mulder's child. She did look somewhat like the snaps of Samantha that Mulder kept everywhere... with one important difference. This child was alive. Scully shifted her weight, and Sarah sighed as she turned her face in towards Scully's shoulder. A seductive smell wafted up... toothpaste and clean scalp and a warm animal scent. The ice around Scully's heart began to melt, and she felt the familiar pain that she always felt when she held a child. Fascinated by the potential stored in their tender bodies, she would feel regret that there was no way to protect them from the slings and arrows of life. So innocent, so perfect... but each little soul had to make its own journey. Feel its own pain. Take on its own scars and wrinkles. Without thinking, she leaned down and brushed her lips across Sarah's forehead. Mulder was looking at her, tears of relief in his eyes. A warm wave of love filled Scully and she felt so foolish. She wasn't in competition with this child. Mulder hadn't brought her home to push Scully aside. He had brought her to Scully... to share her with Scully... so that they would both have someone to love. Together. Scully smiled through her tears and cuddled the warm little body closer to her own. It felt so good. Her hand released Sarah's and moved down to fiercely grip Mulder's hand instead. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ END OF STORY comments to Eleanore