From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 15:57:44 EDT
Subject: Saved?
Source: direct

F. B. I. Headquarters      1:37 p.m.
  Deciding that it was past lunch time, Special Agent Fox Mulder clicked on 
the t.v. (the newest addition to the ever-growing junkyard heap known as "the 
office"). It was then that Scully walked in, finding Mulder laughing madly at 
an old rerun of Saved by the Bell. Once he saw her though, Mulder tried to 
push the power button, but instead of turning off the t.v., he was 
immediately sucked into the set by a seemingly invisible energy force. Of 
course, this only resulted in Mulder becoming part of the cast.
  "Well I didn't see that one coming," Scully said, before sitting down to 
watch Mulder make a fool out of himself (which will be happening for the 
remainder of this story). 

Bayside High School      1:39 p.m.

  Appearing inside the hallways of Bayside, Mulder started screaming when 
he saw Kelly sauntering over to him. 
  "Hey, you're kind of cute," she said, accompanied by Lisa.
  "But Kelly.you're already dating Zack!"
  "Yeah, well, I saw him eyeing the new foreign exchange student in 
homeroom. I was like, 'oh no you don't!' and he was all like 'what did I 
do?'. So I was like 'that's it. We are so through' and then he was all 
indignant lik."
  Staring wide-eyed at the constant, worthless chatter, Mulder realized 
that his brain was slowly turning into silicon (which is why the show used to 
be so addicting). Anyway, this was when Zack and Slader walked up to them. 
After a while of staring at each other, Zack said to Mulder,"Hey man, who are 
you? You trying to steal my woman?" Looking at Kelly's death glare, he said 
apologetically,"Oh yeah, sorry," laughed nervously, and then walked away.
  Then Jessie walked over to the group of people and started screaming at 
Slader. Of course, all of her ranting consisted of,"You pig! You ugly, 
worthless pig!" Which was followed by some infamous one-liners by the lovable 
Screech (who seemed to have entered this scene unobserved. 
  The rest of this episode involved Zack and his pals illegally entering an 
over-21 night club and then getting the death penalty after being revealed 
under-aged. Fortunately, Mulder had his badge with him and talked the judge 
into lowering their punishment to life in prison. This all being done, the 
director of the show was very pleased with the way that the ratings had 
skyrocketed with the addition of Mulder's character. Of course, Mulder 
managed to escape by finding a wormhole in the shape and size of a remote. It 
was then that Scully turned off the t.v. set, creating a chemical reaction 
inside of Mulder's brain which zapped him back into their office. I realize 
that this all hardly makes any sense, but that's my writing style.

  The moral of this story is that old sitcom reruns (except for Two of a 
Kind) have no significant value whatsoever.