From math.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-stk-200.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!new-news.sprintlink.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf0 Tue Jul 23 09:30:42 1996 Article: 21696 of alt.tv.x-files.creative Path: math.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-stk-200.sprintlink.net!news.sprintlink.net!new-news.sprintlink.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: mw6273@aol.com (MW6273) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: Say Goodbye Part One Date: 23 Jul 1996 07:59:14 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 240 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <4t2eqi$20i@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: mw6273@aol.com (MW6273) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Status: RO This is the third in my series about Mulder and Scully, I will be reposting the first two, When The Music Stops, and One Sweet Day. This particular story should be first, before the other two. I guess it's more of a trilogy! Anyway, reading the others are most definitely not necessary to understand this one since it precedes them, but, feel free! Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully and X-Files belong to Chris Carter and FOX, not me, and the song "Say Goodbye" is copyrighted 1995 by Dave Matthews Band. All are used without permission. I have exactly two dollars, please no lawsuits! I can't afford them. Or a lawyer. "Say Goodbye" by Mar (mw6273@aol.com) Scully throws down her pen, avoiding Mulder's penetrating gaze. Once again, their superiors have tossed them into a muddle impossible to escape. And once again, he has managed to read into the case a dozen things no one else can see. Their file is due in the next morning, and they are nowhere near finishing. Scully sighs, attempting to read the scrawled notes. Mulder's handwriting is barely legible, just another thing to frustrate her, along with radio. For some reason Mulder has it tuned to a semi alternative station, just loud enough to be slightly annoying. They had been separated for almost a week, and she feel slightly out of the loop. None of his ideas are making sense to her, though she doubts being with him while they were conceived would have helped her either. She sighs again, and undoes the top button of her blouse. Their basement office, of course, lacks air conditioning. It is very hot, despite the storm outside. Looking up, she sees Mulder scrutinizing her carefully. It takes all of her self control not to rebutton her shirt. "So?" Mulder prods, waiting for a response. "No aliens, Scully." She glares at him. "No aliens, just a consipracy involving the assistant director of the FBI, and the President of the United States!" "I take that back. There is an alien," Mulder says wryly, smiling at her appeasingly. Scully picks up her pen and tosses it none too gently at him. "Mulder, please. We are never going to get this done. I'm hot, I'm tired, and I want to go home. This is not an X-File," she says, dramatically waving a folder in the air. "This is a case of gross misconduct. There will be an inquiry, and that will be the end of it!" "If you say so." "I say so," Scully shoots back forcefully. After a long pause, she says, "We're not getting anywhere." "I know." The two stare at each other unflinchingly for a few moments, attempting to gauge how to procede. Scully finally breaks eye contact. She pushes her chair back and props her feet up on Mulder's desk. Mulder pulls off his glasses and cups his chin in his hand, staring at her. "You know there's more to this case, Scully," he says quietly. "You know what this involves. The digital tape." Scully flinches at the words. "We almost died for the secrets it contains. I refuse to let you go chasing after aliens that don't exist. I refuse to let you put your life in danger to get it back." "Don't you want to know? Your name is in those files, Scully. Yours, and my sister's," he says intensely. Scully pushes her chair away, crossing her legs and trying to keep her anger in check. "Your sister's. What good are those secrets to anyone but you? If you try to recover that tape, I will become implicated no matter what, and then who will save you? It won't be me, because I'll be in up to my neck and out of the Bureau. We both know what they're capable of. Don't sacrifice your life for this, Mulder. It's not worth it," Scully replies, her voice filled with frustration. "How can you say that? How can you say it's not worth it?" he questions, not surprised, but saddened. "All my life I've searched for the truth, and when it's so close, you want me to allow it to slip away?" "The truth means nothing if you're dead," Scully answers harshly. Mulder takes a breath, and Scully almost regrets her words. Almost. Then she sees the resolve in his eyes, and she knows her protests are futile. Nothing she can say or do will change his mind. "If you decide to procede, Mulder, you'll be alone. I will not help you with this. I can't." "Why?" he asks softly, all traces of anger gone. Of course, he already knows the answer. Perhaps more than she. Mulder leans closer as she begins to speak. "I've lost my sister to this. I don't want to lose myself. Or you," she finishes, almost below a whisper. Mulder is not quite sure he heard her correctly. She blinks rapidly, holding back tears. "You won't lose me," he assures her softly. Scully shakes her head sadly. "I think I already have." Mulder sits back. Her sorrowful tone is something he has never heard before. "To what?" She looks up, watches him a moment before answering. "Samantha." Mulder flinches. Scully reaches out and gently touches his hand, but he pulls it away. Her name hangs heavy in the air. Mulder looks away, not wanting to hear any more. "That's not true-" he begins defensively. "It is, Mulder. It is and you know it. Your grief, your longing, it consumes you. Nothing else matters to you but her," she says almost angrily. "Not even what I say," she whispers. Mulder stands. "I won't listen to this," he says, walking towards the door. Sculy swivles in her chair to follow him with her eyes. "Yes, Mulder, you will." Her tone causes him to stop. He turns to face her, leaning agains the doorframe. She stands as well. "Mulder, everything you do revolves around her. I can sit here, and tell you not do something because of the repercussions, and you do it anyway. If you walk out of this room intending to continue your search for that tape, it will be without me. Everything you do from here on out will be alone. If that's what you want, go ahead. I won't stop you." "Scully, that's not what I want, but-" "But what?" she questions bitterly. Mulder sighs. "I can't stay." "How?" she asks, her voice shaking. "Do I mean that little to you?" Mulder does not answer. "You can just walk out that door and forget me?" Silence. One tear rolls unchecked down her cheek. Mulder resists the urge to brush it away. Suddenly her sorrow turns to anger. "Do you know why?" "Why?" he finally says, not without a touch of sarcasm. Coldly, she says, "Because you can never love another woman besides your sister." And wishes she could take her words away. Music from the radio fills the seemingly unending stillness. Mulder takes a deep breath, ignoring the tight feeling in his throat. "Yes, I can," he says softly, stepping in front of her. "I already do." She looks deep into his hazel eyes, mesmerized. Niether speaks, and a song plays on. So here we are tonight you and me together, The storm outside, the fire is bright And in your eyes I see what's on my mind You've got me wild turned around inside And then desire, see, is creeping up heavy inside here And I know you feel the same way I do now Now let's make this an evening Lovers for a night, lovers for tonight Stay here with me, love, tonight just for an evening When we make our passion pictures You and me twist up secret creatures And we'll stay here Tomorrow go back to being friends. Another tear traces it's way down her cheek. This time Mulder reaches up, tenderly brushes it away. Scully trembles slightly at his touch. He says again, so softly, "I already do." Go back to being friends But tonight let's be lovers We kiss and sweat We'll turn this better thing to the best Of all we can offer, just a rogue kiss Tangled tongues and lips, See me this way I'm turning and turning for you Girl, just tonight "Mulder, I-" Scully begins softly, but he puts a finger to her lips, quieting her. He is so close, Scully knows, just another inch... His lips are dangerously close to hers, the temptation is so great... Float away here with me An evening just wait and see But tomorrow go back to your man I'm back to my world And we're back to being friends Wait and see me, Tonight let's do this thing All we are is wasting hours until the sun comes up it's all hours On our way here Tomorrow go back to being friends She leans forward, and gently brushes his lips with hers. All their pent up passion is released in this one moment. "Are you sure, Mulder? Are you sure you..." She cannot bring herself to say it. "Yes," he answers gently, caressing her cheek. Go back to being friends Tonight let's be lovers, say you will And hear me call, soft-spoken whispering love A thing or two I have to say here Tonight let's go all the way then Love I'll see you just for this evening Let's strip down, trip out at this One evening starts with a kiss Run away "I love you," he whispers. She smiles sadly. "I love you," she answers. And then, emboldened, she says, "Prove it." They both know what she means, what they want. And tomorrow back to being friends Lovers...love...lovers just for tonight, one night...love you And tomorrow say goodbye He drops his hand from her cheek. "I wish I could." Tomorrow say goodbye She sighs, quietly, sorrowfully. "So do I." Tomorrow say goodbye "Goodbye, Mulder." Scully moves away, towards the door, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. She turns as he speaks. "Is this our tomorrow?" he questions softly. After a moment, she answers, "Yes." Her voice is choked with tears. So is his. "Goodbye, Scully." From math.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail Tue Jul 23 09:30:42 1996 Article: 21697 of alt.tv.x-files.creative Path: math.ohio-state.edu!cs.utexas.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: mw6273@aol.com (MW6273) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: Say Goodbye Part Two Date: 23 Jul 1996 07:59:21 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 110 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <4t2eqp$216@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: mw6273@aol.com (MW6273) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Status: RO This is my very first attempt at writing any fan fic, so please forgive me if it is not very good. I have been on the newsgroup for a while, and I was tempted to write something and see how I did! Please email me and tell me what you think, all comments, flames, encouraging remarks are welcome! I'm an email junkie, so I would appreciate the feed back! Disclaimer: The X-Files and all related characters belong to the Supreme Being, Chris Carter, 10-13 Productions, and Fox. The song "Shape of my Heart" is copyrighted 1995 by Sting. All are used without permission, no copyright infringement intended! Please don't sue me, I'm way too poor! The story, however, is mine.(I knew something was.) When The Music Stops.... by Mar-Mar (mw6273@aol.com) Mulder and Scully enter the rundown apartment building in southwest D.C., followed by a team of agents. Scully cautiously steps around Mulder, motioning for him to cover her. A wooden board creaks under their feet, and they freeze, each silently hoping the sound didn't alert the killer hiding in the building. Mulder sighs, recalling in his photographic memory the events leading up to this hastily thrown together operation. **** For the third time in as many months, Mulder and Scully had been requested in the VCS to help them catch a serial killer. As usual, Mulder had written a profile in about 15 seconds, immediately pointing out the killer. Scully had picked up the missing connection, tying the man to the killings and the building. After four days of wasted survellaince, the killer had finally returned to the site of the first homicide. **** The team of agents streams into the building after Mulder and Scully, spreading out to inspect the entire area. A clinking sound from overhead attracts Scully's attention as well as Mulder's. Without signalling to the other agents, they break away and creep up the dilapidated stairs. Scully can see the anger flashing in her partner's hazel eyes, and instantly understands he will sacrifice anything, including his own life, to prevent the murderer from murdering again. Scully steps closer to Mulder and lays a gentle hand on his shoulder, turning him to look at her. "Don't do anything rash," she whispers. "You're life is just as important as anyone's," she finishes, staring up at him intensely. Blue looks into hazel, communicating mutual trust. Mulder nods, then continues up the stairs. Scully steps around Mulder, both guns drawn, poised outside the door. In a single, fluid motion, Mulder kicks it open. Scully cautiously enters the room, inspecting it with her eyes, feeling Mulder's comforting presense behind her. "NO!" Mulder shouts. Scully turns her head to stare at him, but before she can move she finds herself sprawled on the hard floor. In a delayed reaction, she hears the crack of a gun being fired, and Mulder's cry as it pierces his body. Scully gasps, then throws herself to the side to recover her gun. Picking it up, she empties the clip into the head and chest of the killer. "Someone call and ambulace, now!" Scully yells down the steps, dropping her gun and crawling on all fours toward Mulder. The sight before her brings sudden hot tears to her eyes, melting the anger there. The bullet has penetrated his right temple, and blood is everywhere, on the floor, on him, like some kind of unnatural sacrifice. The horrific reality Scully never wanted to face. She knows it is a miracle he is still alive. She kneels beside him, breathing in ragged gasps. Without thinking, she reaches out and smoothes Mulder's hair, now matted with blood, out of his eyes. Her tears mix with his blood, creating a pool of anger and regret. Scully closes her eyes to block the image from her mind, one thought repeating itself : Mulder had taken the bullet meant for her. "Scully," he rasps, calling upon every last bit of strength he possesses. She opens her eyes and gazes down at him. "Scully, before I die-" "You are not going to die, Mulder. The ambulance is coming, and we're going to take you to the hospital," she interrupts frantically. Suddenly, she realises her protests are futile. Scully stops, and clasps Mulder's mand tightly in her own. "Don't try to talk." she says, knowing he will anyway. He never listened to her. "Dana, before I die, I wanted to tell you that I-" Mulder pauses and takes a breath. From the apartment above them, music begins to play, silencing them both. {And if I told you that I loved you, {You'd maybe think there's something wrong. {I'm not a man of too many faces, {The mask I wear is one. "I know, Fox," she whispers, wiping away tears. He smiles at the use of his name. {For those who speak know nothing, {And find out to their cost. {Like those who curse their luck in too many places. {And those who fear are lost. The music trails off, and stops abruptly, coinciding with the beating of Mulder's heart. His fingers go slack, and she lowers his hand gently to the floor before letting go. Yer she hasn't let go, she never will. Reaching behind her, Scully unclasps her necklace, her gold cross, and with shaking hands drapes it around Mulder's neck. Staring down at her fallen partner, Scully finally releases her agony. For a moment the whole world seems silent, like the music, save for the sound of her crying. The End From math.ohio-state.edu!news.cyberstore.ca!skypoint.com!newshub.tc.umn.edu!spool.mu.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news-res.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!hunter.premier.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!news Tue Jul 23 09:30:41 1996 Article: 21695 of alt.tv.x-files.creative Path: math.ohio-state.edu!news.cyberstore.ca!skypoint.com!newshub.tc.umn.edu!spool.mu.edu!usenet.eel.ufl.edu!news-res.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!hunter.premier.net!newsfeed.internetmci.com!newsxfer2.itd.umich.edu!portc01.blue.aol.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: mw6273@aol.com (MW6273) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: Say Goodbye Part Three Date: 23 Jul 1996 07:59:38 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 202 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <4t2era$237@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: mw6273@aol.com (MW6273) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com Status: RO Thanks to everyone who responded to "When The Music Stops" the flames, the encouraging remarks, everything!! For the record I want to say that there is no reason I want Mulder dead, the idea is very depressing (boo hoo) and if the idea makes you really sad, don't read the sequel! Sorry. Anyway this is sequel to my previous story. If you haven't read it, this will probably confuse you. If you haven't seen Duane Barry and Ascension the end will be confusing. Disclaimer: These people are not mine, they belong to the Supreme Being, Chris Carter, 10-13, and Fox. Lyrics to the song "One Sweet Day" copyrighted 1995 by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men. All are used without permission, please don't sue me! I have no money! One Sweet Day by Mar-Mar (MW6273@AOL.COM) "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust..." The preacher's words ring hollow to Dana Scully devoid of meaning. She takes no comfort in the saying; her faith, the only thing she had to hold onto, is forever shattered. And this time she will not be able to pick up the pieces. Clutching the black rose, Scully reaches up to her throat instinctively.Yet her cross is gone, now residing around the neck of her fallen partner. Scully can only hope he knows it is there. Hope is all she has now, hope and an empty heart. As the preacher ends his tirade of meaningless prayers, Scully attempts to remember her speech. She is to give the eulogy, speak a few words about Mulder. Just thinking the name brings tears to her eyes. Her professional demeanor remains in place, if she lets her smooth veneer crack for even a moment her facade will crumble Margaret Scully gently squeezes her daughter's hands before she walks up to the podium. Her once vibrant blue eyes convey the unfathomable depth of her grief. All her passion went with the hazel eyes, the tousled hair, the wry smile... Clearing her throat, Scully pushes her auburn hair away from her face. She knows now what to say. "I thought about bringing a prepared speech to read to you today, until I realised it should come from the heart, not a piece of paper. Mulder would have hated that," she pauses, her voice catching. She closes her eyes to gather her strength. "Everythilng he did was spontaneous, unpretentious.There were so many times when I would tell him to slow down, or not to become so entangled in a case. Not to let himself be dragged down by the evil which he so despised. He devoted his life to the destruction of the very force he hated and feared the most. And were it not for Mulder's quest for the truth, I wouldn't-" Scully breaks off blinking rapidly. "I wouldn't be here to do this." The dam breaks. Hot tears spill down her face, ravished with pain. "I'm sorry," she whispers softly. "I can't do this." Stepping away from the podium, Scully flees down the centre aisle, trying to outrun the pain. The black rose falls unnoticed from her hand. By the time it hits the ground, Scully is in her car, her head resting on the steering wheel as sobs rack her body. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2 days later, 3:00 AM Lying on her back in Mulder's apartment, Scully stares blankly at the ceiling. She must now perform the final task: pack up his life forever into cardboard boxes. The majoirty of his things have already been shoved away, out of sight, out of mind. Almost. The only things left are his futon, his laptop and a few scattered belongings. Sighing, Scully pulls herself off the futon. Her eyes blur with unshed tears, but she steels herself against them. She unplugs the laptop and places it gently into a box, then the tv... A smile graces her lips fleetingly as she uncovers his vide collection. Without thinking, Scully puts the tapes into the box marked for Mrs. Mulder. *Oh well* she thinks wryly. His mother couldn't spare the time to come to the funeral, what makes Scully thinks she will take the time to look through his things? The silence of the aprtment becomes oppresive, and Scully reaches over and flicks on the radio. Amazingly it is tuned to a soft rock station. Even in death he can still surprise her. Looking around the barren walls, the only thing left for her to pack up is the futon. Scully drags it away from the wall. As she pulls off the cushion, a small leather bound book clatters to the floor. She shoves the cushion into the box, and then picks up the book. It is really more of a diary then a book. She turns it over inquisitively in her hands. Almost guiltily she opens it to the first page. Her own name stands out on the page, an angel in the piths of hell. Snapping the book shut, Scully throws it across the room away from her. It hurts too much to know how he felt. Scully unconciously understands hat if she reads the words written on the page they could tear her apart. It would be so easy not to, so much easier to remain in ignorance of his emotions for the rest of her life. And yet, how can she go on, never knowing now he felt about her? And what if... Scully shakes her head to clear these thoughts away. Anything Mulder felt toward her is irrevocable. Anything she felt toward him is dead and buried. One tear spills over and rolls down her cheek. There is no one to brush it away, to quiet her fears anymore. There never will be, ever again. On sudden impulse, Scully grabs Mulder's radio and the journal. With no clear destination in mind, Scully leaves apartment 42 behind, possibly forever. Let someone else pick up the pieces of his life. She is going to place them together. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Skyline Mountain, 5:00 AM Scully stops her car by the side of the highway. She retreives the journal and radio from the backseat and locks it. She has unknowingly traveled to the very place where, two years ago, Mulder gazed up into the stars in his pursuit of her, and of the truth. She walks slowly through the mist until she reaches the mountain's peak. To the east, dawn is rising and providing some light. However, the sky is mostly black, stars glittering in the obsidian darkness. For what seems to be an infinite, ageless time, Scully stares into the sky, beholding the beauty of the night. Praying Mulder is somewhere beyond, and that finally he has been released from the pain of living. Holding the journal tightly in her hand, Scully lies down in the damp grass and turns on the radio. After a crackling of static, a song she hasnt heard since the day she met Mulder begins to play. [Sorry I never told you [All I wanted to say [Now it's too late to hold you [Cause you've flown away [So far away [Never had I imagined [Living without your smile [Feeling and knowing you hear me [It keeps me alive [Alive Scully's breath catches in her throat, and her eyes fill with tears. The music surrounds her, no one left in the world save for herself and Mulder. [And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven [Like so many friends we've lost along the way [And I know eventually we'll be together [One sweet day [Darling I never showed you [Assumed you'd always be there [Took your presence for granted [But I always cared [And I miss the love we shared The tears spill over, mixing with the dew on the grass. She cries for all the times she never has, the pain finally being released. The music crescendos. [And I know you're shining down on me from heaven [Like so many friends we've lost along the way [And I know eventually we'll be together [One sweet day [Although the sun will always shine the same [I'll always look to a brighter day [Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep [You will always listen as I pray Scully cries for herself, her sister, for the long lost Samantha and the self sacrifice of a courageous man. And most of all, she cries for Mulder, for the love which could not be shared, for the life stolen away by an uncaring world. [And I know you're shining down on me form Heaven [Like so many friends we've lost along the way [And I know eventually we'll be together [One sweet day [And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven [Like so many friends we've lost along the way [And I know eventually we'll be together [One sweet day Scully opens the journal to the first torn and battered page... [Sorry I never told you [All I wanted to say... And closes it. There is no need for her to read the words. Scully knows, has always known, what they say. "I love you Mulder. One sweet day, we will be together," Scully whispers, finally satiated though her tears still flow. And somewhere in the celestial heavens, a star shines just a little bit brighter. The End what do you think? please email me, all comments flames suggestions praise welcome! i want mail!!!