From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Wed, 19 Jul 2000 02:01:37 -0500
Subject: Say My Name by Lidyipi
Source: direct

Reply To: Popical2@aol.com


Title: Say My Name

Author: Lidyipi

Keywords: Requieum

Summary: A very lost daughter.

Rating: G (as far as i'm concerned)

Spoilers: again...requiem

Distribution: go ahead. 

Feedback: I like it. Popical2@aol.com

Disclaimer: Not mine; don't sue.




Can you hear me, wherever you may be? I talk to you every 
night, you, the God I said my "Now I lay me's" to and you 
the face on the mantel, the silent eyes with no voice. I want 
to hear you talk, say my name. I never heard you speak I 
them. For most it seems such a small thing, the sound of 
their name, falling out of so many lips. However, when I 
think of you, I wish so much the different tones my two 
familiar syllables might take. Lindsey. So normal but I 
wish so much. 

Mom and I live in a disconnected way. For some reason or 
another we lost most our contact after I left the body of that 
little girl with a big smile. Now I'm a tall, dark woman with 
long dark hair. My eyes are dark too, I think those who 
know me are unnerved, they are hollows who long for you 
and the father they never gazed upon If wishes were fishes, 
they say. Perhaps I might take an earnest attempt at talking 
to my mother; she truly seems like a beautiful person. You 
loved her after all, and I love her in the most obligated way 
that comes with mother daughter. But our spirits differ as 
much as our appearance. 

I sit in front of the mirror now, applying make up. I dress in 
simple clothing, grays, blacks. I like shadow colors because 
I feel like one. A shadow of my parents: Dana Scully the 
gorgeous FBI forensic pathologist and Fox Mulder, tall, 
intelligent, a psychologist, missing for 19 years. Amazing 
people and then their dim child whom wallows in her 
confusion and inability to find a self. I blame it sometimes 
on no father but people go their lives with no parent 
in every place. A flaw perhaps. Probably. I'm diluted blood of 
the gifted. No talent... no ambition. Mom asks me every 
day what I plan to go to college."Do i want to Sell clothes 
all my life?" No I really can't say. My future remains blank 
and I tell myself until I hear you say my name, I stay a 
foggy girl with an empty soul.