Date: 05 Feb 2001 21:10:45 GMT From: Meg20715 Subject: NEW: Scars -- V, MSR, Post All Things Scars DISCLAIMER: Characters from the television show The X-Files used herein are the property of 1013 Productions and Fox Broadcasting Corp. CATEGORY: V, MSR, Post All Things RATING: PG ARCHIVE: Sure, just let me know SPOILERS: After All Things but before Requiem, according to some theories SUMMARY: Scully shows Mulder evidence she discovered years ago. FEEDBACK: To Meg20715@aol.com Would love to hear it :) DEDICATION: To all of my friends in O3P for being there and encouraging me. To Amanda for her great beta work. *********************************** Mulder's eyes flew open. He knew he had been asleep a few seconds ago but he did not know why he was awake now. Instinctively, his eyes scanned the room, searching the windows, the door, the hall; listening, looking for signs of an intruder. In a corner of his mind he noted that, while he had been startled awake, he was not startled to find himself in Scully's bedroom. He smiled to himself despite his concern. *Well, that didn't take long.* As his eyes searched the room, his hand automatically reached over to the woman beside him, seeking reassurance that she was all right. His fingers found her arm and closed gently around it. His relief turned into consternation when she screamed and pulled away from him. Stunned, he pulled his hand away and turned towards her, propping himself up on one elbow. The streetlights filtered dimly into the room, just enough for him to see her face. She was obviously having a nightmare. As he watched one painful expression after another cross her face, a renewed wave of guilt washed over him. This was his fault: his fault that the woman he loved couldn't even get a decent night's sleep. He knew that she had nightmares - how could she not? - but this was the first time she had had one while sleeping right next to him. He had hoped that he would be able to keep them away, somehow. He was disappointed to find that he could not. "Scully," he called out softly. He reached over to gently shake her shoulder. "Wake up." With a sharp gasp, she bolted upright into a sitting position. He slowly sat up beside her, being careful not to crowd her. He could almost hear her rapid heartbeat pounding in her ears. "Scully, it's okay." His voice, though soft and soothing, startled her. She gasped again as she whirled to face him. Her eyes were wild, panic-stricken, and obviously not aware of her surroundings. "It's just me, Scully. It's okay. You're home safe." She closed her eyes and swallowed with difficulty. A shudder reverberated through her body. When her eyes opened again, he could see that they were now registering his presence. He gently placed his fingertips on her shoulder. "It's just . . ." He broke off the sentence mid-stream. "It's okay now." As the tension drained from her body, she began to tremble. Mulder wrapped one arm around her and gently pulled her towards him. She leaned into his familiar, comforting embrace. He slowly laid back, bringing her with him. They settled in with her head on his shoulder and her hand sprawled across his bare chest. He could feel the pounding of her rapidly beating heart. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair, continuing to murmur soothing sounds as her trembling slowly subsided. He wondered how many nights this had happened. How many nights had she gone through this alone? Had this been going on since her abduction? *Her first abduction,* he amended his thoughts with a grimace. His arms tried to pull her closer. It was several minutes before either one of them spoke. "Mulder?" Her voice was quiet and strangely vacant. "Yeah?" *I'm here, Scully.* "I hate it when that happens." Mulder found her hollow, disconnected voice to be almost as painful as her screams. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Everything he could think of to say sounded trite. He leaned down to kiss her forehead instead. He wanted to find a way to stop this but he knew he would have to proceed slowly. If she would let him proceed at all. "How often does this happen, Scully?" he asked, his soft voice reflecting his concern. "Not that often, anymore." He felt, rather than heard, her heavy sigh. "For a while in there . . ." her voice trailed off. "You mean back when . . ." his voice trailed off as well. He didn't want to mention specifics. "Back in 1994?" She chuckled mirthlessly. She stretched out, running her legs along his. When she nestled back in, she seemed to be less tense somehow. "No. Actually, this has only been happening since the end of 1997." *The end of 1997?* It took his sleep fogged brain a few seconds to reconstruct the timeline. Then he knew. That was when they met Emily. Scully continued to talk softly. "That's when I knew what happened. What HAD to have happened. That's when I had proof. When I held her DNA test results, I knew what they had done." She paused. "That's when I knew I had to find the scars." "What scars?" Mulder blinked. He hadn't noticed any scars. "The scars that laparoscopic surgery leaves behind." Mulder blinked again. Less than a minute ago, he was holding his trembling, frightened lover and now he was lost in a conversation with a calm, matter-of-fact doctor. Hell, five minutes ago, he had been sound asleep. He reminded himself that she often retreated into clinical mode when she was stressed. *Well, at least she hasn't retreated into denial. That's something.* "Laparoscopic?" "Here, give me your hand." She slid her fingers down his arm, stopping at his elbow. Reluctantly, he unclasped his hand from her shoulder so she could proceed further. As her fingers reached his, she rolled onto her back. She guided his hand so that his pinky was directly in her navel. "Right there, can you feel that?" "What the - -?" Mulder started to sit up then froze. He wasn't sure what reaction was appropriate. He wasn't even sure he wanted to hear what she was saying. Scully reached above her head and removed a small flashlight from the headboard. She held the flashlight out to him. "It's okay, Mulder. Here." Mulder looked at her, totally nonplussed. Did she really want him to use that? Scully appeared amused at his discomfort. She was trying hard to suppress a smile. "Mulder. I had to check it out in detail. I suspect that you do too." She raised both eyebrows. "And I would rather you do it now than when . . . when I would rather you be doing something else." He cooperated with the inevitable and took the flashlight. Pointing it away from their eyes, he turned it on. As the flashlight played distractingly across her body, he reminded himself to focus on the point in question. Scully's fingers seemed to know how to stretch and pull her skin achieve the right angle. Sure enough, he could see two small scars. He stared at them for a few seconds, then slowly ran his finger over them. They were definitely there, well hidden inside her navel. Evidence. Physical evidence. Physical evidence that she could never get away from. He closed his eyes and shuddered. He clicked off the flashlight and waited until his eyes readjusted before lying back down. He stared at the ceiling for a few seconds before he spoke. "So that's where they . . ." His voice trailed off as he abandoned the attempt to put his thoughts into words. "Yes, that's where the make the incision for a laparoscopy. They are routinely performed prior to in-vitro fertilizations. To obtain the necessary genetic material." Mulder felt another shudder run through his body. He wasn't sure which would be worse: this detached clinical discussion or overtly mentioning the topic at hand. He reached over and gathered her in his arms. He brushed the hair away from her face and kissed her softly. "I would like to do whatever it is that we need to do so that you can stop having nightmares." "I didn't mean to wake you, Mulder." Her tone was midway between serious and bantering. "That's not what I meant." His tone matched hers. She didn't reply right away, other than to snuggle more deeply into his embrace. Their breathing was in perfect synchronization as both of their thoughts leapt to the same subject. Scully shook her head. "No, Mulder, these dreams are not lost memories trying to resurface. Hypnosis is not going to help." He looked at her but did not otherwise challenge her statement. "These dreams didn't even start until I had evidence of what had happened. It's just my mind filling in the blanks." Mulder's arms held her close. "Scully, they mean whatever you want them to mean." END