From: Deby Manis Date: Mon, 16 Apr 2001 22:51:42 -0500 Subject: xfc: Scattered Thoughts III Source: xfc Title: Scattered Thoughts III Author: Deby Category: Mulder angst Rating: PG Summary: Mulder's thinking again Feedback: will be framed and answered Archive: Just ask and I'll say Yes, I promise Author's Notes: Oh my... part 3 already? These have all been written at work during my breaks. Driving all day gives you a lot of time to think. :) Let me know if I should keep this up. *************** I've been watching her. Oh, I've always watched her, I know she's pretended not to notice Letting me keep my illusions... Watching her... Wanting her... Fantasizing about her... But now I watch her with a new sense of wonder With eyes opened by a major dose of reality ...whatever that is anymore... Her face is softer... Her eyes are worried with a faraway look in them. Her body is fuller... heavier. Her once barren womb full with a growing life. She is a contradicting mix of wanting isolation and needing comfort. I never know when to do what... I know what I want though... I want to hold her... I want to wrap my arms around her... I want to lay my hands on her stomach and feel that baby move. I want to love her. I want to love that baby. I wish she would let me in. -- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Some things exist whether you believe in them or not." Deby Manis Troy Quarter Horses Hays, KS. Troy Quarter Horses http://QHTimes.com/TroyQH Kansas/Missouri Boxer Rescue - Boxers needing homes! http://www.critterconnection.com/boxerrescue.html In the Company of...(pets!) http://www.stinkbalm.com/company/ Mid-West Rescue http://www.jps.net/boxer4me/MWRnet/ How Pet Shops are Really Run http://dmin.net/boxers/guestarticle/index.shtml?archive=10jun2000.html&sidebar=10jun2000s.html Cremello and Perlino Educational Association http://www.doubledilute.com "I wish to submit for your approval a new definition for the word 'morality'. From what I see, it's that instinctive sense of right and wrong that tells some people how everyone else should behave." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~