From: Dana1muldr@aol.com Date: 10 May 1999 16:40:26 -0700 Subject: [xfcreative] Scenes From a Shower Lost & Found: Scene 2: Found From: Dana1muldr@aol.com E Scenes from A Shower: Lost & found By E. Ripley Scene II-Found Email: Feedback adored at Dana1muldr@aol.com Rating: R for Violence, swearing & general adult content Dermo! Category: Hmm...X R A?? Maybe?? Keywords: Mulderangst to the nth power baby!! UST and hey, wait a second! You can't fence me in with conformity, man!!! Just read the story!! Posting: Gossamer sure, all others fine, but please notify me when possible, whatever. Summary: When everything you love is lost, is there anything left to find? This is the second half of Scenes From A Shower. Without first reading the companion piece, "Lost," You may find you are. Dedication: This story would not have been possible without a great deal of encouragement, feedback and general morale boosting from some very wonderful and talented individuals. To Bob Dylan, the most mysterious online recluse I have never met. To Sarah Parsons, whose humor and taste for non trad XF perversions is both an inspiration and a source of great joy, To Chris for being such a trouper and a patient one, to boot. Your're the best buds a crackhead love slave could hope for!! Also, to the very wonderful Rachel Anton, Laura, & RhymePhile, and the entire slew of deviants at Rat-tales for being the best group of groupies one could ever hope to grope with. I love you all. And, uh, oh yeah. My significant other helped me out too. Significantly. Thanks, Geoff. Disclaimer: Is one really necessary anymore?? A month had passed. Mulder leaned an arm against the shower wall and let the soothing water cascade over him. The daily ritual of cleansing had become his sole opportunity for any semblance of peace. Steadfast in his belief that Krycek was responsible for Scully's death, his time for mourning had been eaten up by the need for revenge. The last few weeks had been spent traveling around the country, researching possible leads, spending hours on the telephone. He managed to use up just about every favor ever owed him in years of service to the Bureau. He was still no closer to finding the bastard than the day he spotted him on the airport surveillance tape. The only thing he'd managed to do was to alienate himself from the Lone Gunmen and Skinner. While they still tolerated him, the Gunmen knew to give him as wide a berth as possible and rarely called unless they had some new lead. Of course, allowing too much time to pass put them at risk of another one of Mulder's insane rants on revenge. So they did check in periodically, if only briefly. And the only words Skinner ever had to say involved "therapy," "counseling," "losing it," or a combination of the three. It was something of a blessing that Kersh had previously written him off as a lost cause. Very little interference on the part of the Bureau. Not that they had much of a say in things while he was on psychiatric leave. He had been forced to relinquish his badge and gun, but that was of little consequence. You could procure a replacement quite easily, if you knew who to ask. Mulder knew. And it wasn't like the Sig was his only sidearm. Even so, the search for Krycek had come to a near standstill. Between him and the three Gunmen, they had checked out virtually every passenger who had left the DC Gate on that day. The more promising leads he had investigated personally. The others he had farmed out to Frohike, Byers & Langly. Not that it helped much. Try as they might, none of them had been able to uncover the slightest clue to where Krycek had gone. From Hoboken to a dozen Springfields and a tiny town in New Mexico, they had traveled across country for nothing. As his hopes for finding Krycek began to fade, Mulder became more and more desperate. He was quite literally, at wits end. Mrs. Scully had given up on calling him, finally. After a half dozen attempts had yielded her nothing. He felt guilty, ashamed, but Mulder simply couldn't face her. He knew what it was she wanted. A boon he couldn't fathom, much less grant or give. She'd left the message on his machine after the third week. He ignored it, opting instead to write. It was odd, really. Maybe just the ultimate denial. A part of him accepted that Scully was really gone. He'd seen the body himself, knew it to be true. And while he struggled with his grief, suppressed it with rage, he simply couldn't bear the thought of clearing Scully's apartment of her belongings. It was wrong-too soon. So he forwarded a note and a check to Margaret. Offered to pay the remainder of the summer's rent if she would only give him time. After all, Mulder still spent as many nights there as anywhere. And he knew Margaret would never deny him. They both felt her absence so intensely. And even with Scully gone, Mulder felt a quiet comfort simply by being there. Calmer. He felt closer to her somehow. Memory kicked in, and an image, unbidden, Scully's smiling face, soft and warm, presented itself. His stomach tightened and the familiar ache returned. Mulder rubbed his temples. He shook his head under the running water and turned the shower handle. "No" he mumbled softly, grabbing his head in his hands, "not now." Desperately, he tried to free his mind of the face that haunted him. The woman who had driven him, supported and sustained him. The one loss he cold never abide, refused to face. In the previous weeks, Mulder learned that he could almost stop the persistent flow of memories and images of Scully by fixating on his anger and hatred for Krycek. Revenge. It had become his holy grail, his newfound quest. Even that was beginning to fail him, however. The frequency of his nightmares had increased, and he was still no closer to retribution. He found himself obsessing over minute details and imagined slights. Skinner, in whom he had expected to find a solid ally, had been harsh and skeptical at best. Despite proof in the form of the picture of them in the airport, Skinner refused to accept the possibility of any connection between Krycek's presence with the child and Scully's murder. It was terribly frustrating. He had called Skinner on it. Skinner stood up to him, threatening censure or a good ass kicking or both. He'd told Mulder what a sorry ass agent he'd become in Scully's absence. That he was an embarrassment to her memory and all that she had worked and died for. Drunk, and too far gone to care, Mulder laughed and then spit on his shoes. The man had been acting strangely since his bizarre near brush with death by nanotechnology. Mulder would have preferred a good fist fight to the surprised, disappointed expression on Skinner's face before he turned and quietly left Mulder's apartment. Krycek sat at the table, one hand on the phone. His gaze drifted towards the bedroom door. Lana's episode had been the worst one yet. He winced a little, remembering the panicked, pained expression on her face and the frightened, incoherent screams he had been too slow to muffle before she'd woken Piotr. Ironically, the soft whimpers and crying of her frightened son had done more to stop Lana's frenzied sobbing than Krycek himself could manage. It was harder to comfort her once Piotr had returned to sleep. Her sobbing continued, borne on by guilt. "Alexei," she had pleaded, "please, what is happening to me? Make it stop." "I will," he had breathed hoarsely. "Shh, ma drolyta Svetalana, I will-" And so he sat, poised to call the very men responsible for her condition to come rescue her from it. But the haven they offered from her nightmares would only serve as a wellspring for further torment. And so he hesitated. Finally, torn, he dialed a familiar number. When the sleepy voice on the other end answered, he sighed. "Chamber, I need your help. Time to deliver on that favor you owe me." The voice slipped from sleepy to incredulous. "Krycek?? Are you insane?? You're calling me now?? Do you know what they'd do to me if they even knew I knew you??" Alex feigned mock disappointment. "Chamber, and I thought we were so close. Would you like me to remind you what I can and will do to you if you refuse me?? After what I did for you in Osaka?? That was a horrible mess, Chamber. And I paid dearly for saving your ass. Time to come clean. And if you don't, what they will do to you will only be a pleasant distraction from the memory of what I'm going to do before turning you over to them." "Krycek, you're bluffing. I know you're on the run with your little chippie. If they had even a glimpse of your ass, you'd be toast." "Have I mentioned what it is like to have the Oil expunged from your body, Chamber?? To have your very insides filtered through a black alien host, left to suffer afterwards?" There was a moment of silence on the other end, followed by a soft gulping noise. "What the hell do you want, Krycek? You know they don't leave any of us alone for long." "Actually, Chamber, you'd be surprised what I know. But right now, it's what I don't know, what they wouldn't tell me that I am interested in." "And that would be-." Chamber replied suspiciously. "The current project-our project. Lana." "You mean-." "I mean Lana. What is happening to her. The serum has grown ineffective much faster than we were led to believe." "A failsafe." "What?" "A failsafe. Really Krycek, you may be the favored son, but do you honestly think they'd trust you with something like her?? The serum wasn't designed to be long term. If you hadn't taken her and fled, the maintenance men would have continued the course under Dr. Arredondo. Following the prescribed protocol, Lana would-" Krycek cut him off angrily. "Maintenance men???" He roared. "Butchers! Butchers I would have never in a million years let them near her- if I had had any idea, I never would have-" "Ah, but you did, didn't you, Comrade? Quite readily in fact. As I recall, back then you weren't as interested in her welfare as your own. But of course, that was before the boy-" "Leave him out of this," Krycek warned. "He's not part of that. You know that. And I would sooner die than let anything happen-let them touch a hair on his head." Krycek frowned. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn he heard Chamber softly snickering. "Jesus, Christ Alex!! For a cold blooded murdering sonofabitch you can really be a simple fuck. Hello?? That's exactly WHY he exists. Why they made him. Normal. Human. Yours. Hers. And oh so deliciously dependent on you for his safety and well being. Surely you don't pretend not to have known that." "Fuck you, Chamber," Krycek responded. "I'm damn well aware of what Piotr is to them. And that's exactly why I had to leave and take them both with me. Historically, our children haven't had much of a future with these men. And I owe her." "Yeah, well since we're talking history, Alex, you'd also do well to remember current events too. And currently you are no longer the teacher's pet." "Yeah we'll I've been there before. I'm willing to take my chances. But not with their lives. So cut the bullshit and tell me how I can help her." Chambers tone changed to a more businesslike one. "Well, Alex, if you want to keep her, then turn her over. As I tried to tell you, the serum is designed to be increasingly toxic to the nervous system. Without maintenance and the proper 'reconditioning', it will induce madness and eventually, death. She needs treatment. They'll have to modify the prescription dosage and reinforce the wash." "That's it?? That's my only option?" Chamber tried not to sound smug. "Well, yes, that or a partial lobotomy. Excise the demons which are interfering with the implant. That's what is really causing the trouble. Crowded house and all that." Krycek blew air from between his teeth. "I'd kill her myself before I let it come to that-.or surrender her to them." Chamber made a soft clucking noise. "Damn, Alex. And I thought HE was hardcore." Chamber made a few clicking noises as he moved about his apartment before settling down. "Look. I think you are a slimy double dealing bastard. But you saved my ass and I always repay my debts. I'm not kidding about the reconditioning and the medication. That's the only way to keep her as she is. There's no way around it. At least, we haven't found one yet. But if you are so far gone that you'd sooner kill her, I do have one other suggestion. It's risky too, and not one you'd like, but I think she would probably prefer a fighting chance." Krycek listened as the man explained how to save the life of the woman he'd grown to love. He wasn't in the least bit surprised as to how. In fact, he'd fully expected as much all along. Chamber detailed the process and after providing him with the location of a warehouse containing the necessary means, prepared to hang up. "Wait a second," Krycek insisted. "What a bout the implant?" "What about it?" Chamber repeated. "You know what happens if it's removed. She has to have it." "I know that," Krycek responded impatiently. "I'll need a technician. Someone with the ability to modify it." Chamber groaned. "Jesus, Alex, what next? Rescuing kittens from trees? This suburbia crap has made you soft. Fine. You can contact Magellan. He's still at Roursch, but they moved him to research. He can take care of it." "Thanks" Krycek began to say. "Don't thank, me, 'Comrade.' Just leave me the hell alone. We're done now." "All right," Krycek agreed, before hanging up. "Done." After hitting the button and shutting off the phone, Krycek faltered. He'd known it was going to happen. He'd feared it would come to this. There was a part of him that had been stifled and frustrated by the constant dread he'd carried with him over the past few months. It was easy to be a hardass when yours was the only one on the line. It was a helluva lot tougher looking out for somebody else all the time. No wonder Mulder was so fucked up. When you invested so much of yourself into another, it was like-well, hell. Closing his eyes for a moment, Krycek pondered the next step. He would need help. Someone he could trust-or at least trust with Lana. While it seemed odd that their absence was tolerated so well, Krycek wasn't stupid. He knew that anyone who found then and returned them to the group would be well rewarded. They might not be a priority but they were far from forgotten. So he needed someone he could trust. That left a very short list. Between a rock and a nutcase. Not much of a choice. Particularly given the recent turn of events that had no doubt sent Mulder over the edge. Which left the rock. Krycek rolled his eyes and massaged his temples. "Dermo" he muttered, shaking his head ruefully. " I hate Marines." Even with the bastard's very life in his hands, the idea of dealing with Skinner a second more than he had to was a very an unappealing one. He moved to pick up the phone once again, then froze. A soft creaking noise behind him made a shiver run down his spine. He relaxed as he felt Lana's hand drift feather light across his shoulder. From Dana1muldr@aol.com Thu Jul 8 00:38:02 1999 Date: 12 May 1999 13:35:55 -0700 From: Dana1muldr@aol.com Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Subject: [xfcreative] Scenes From a Shower Lost & Found: Found 1B From: Dana1muldr@aol.com While it seemed odd that their absence had been tolerated so well, Krycek wasn't stupid. He knew that anyone who found then and returned them to the group would be well rewarded. They might not be a priority but they were far from forgotten. Given his recent call to Chamber, Krycek figured he & Lana were about to get bumped up on the list. So he needed someone he could trust. That left a very short list. Between a rock and a nutcase. Not much of a choice. Particularly given the recent turn of events that had no doubt sent Mulder over the edge. Which left the rock. Krycek rolled his eyes and massaged his temples. "Dermo" he muttered, shaking his head ruefully. " I hate Marines." Even with the bastard's very life in his hands, the idea of dealing with Skinner a second more than he had to was a very an unappealing one. He moved to pick up the phone once again, then froze. A soft creaking noise behind him made a shiver run down his spine. He relaxed as he felt Lana's hand drift feather light across his shoulder. "Alexei?" She murmured sleepily. Krycek let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. True to form, Lana was blessedly unaware of the nightmare episode she had recently gone through. He knew it would resurface in her subconscious mind soon enough. In dreams. In the nagging doubt and waking visions He reached his hand over hers and stroked it softly. "Couldn't sleep?" she asked, concerned. Alex lied. "No, I just, this move was so sudden, and I'm worried about Piotr finding new friends. He's almost four, Lana. A boy his age should have friends to play with. I think that..." Krycek halted mid sentence as he felt a warm familiar pressure on his back. Lana was leaning up against him, arms around his shoulders. The soft, supple swell of her breasts pressed against him. "I think-" Suggestively, she slid her body against him. Alex swallowed. He could feel the taut peaks of her nipples brushing against him through her nightgown. His head swam a little. "I think-" Lana reached around and turned his head towards hers. She brushed his ear with kisses, trailing her mouth down his face, to his neck. Krycek groaned softly. "Lana" he growled. "I think you think too much, Alexei" she breathed huskily. "Too much time thinking when you should be acting. Come to bed, Alexei. It's cold without you." Alex shifted slightly in the chair. The guilt he felt was overwhelmed by the familiar growing need. The sexual aspect of their relationship had come as something of a surprise to him. And though their moments together were fleeting and infrequent, they were very intense. He turned towards Lana, his green eyes gleaming hungrily in the dark. "How could I tell you no?" he teased. Lana let out a soft sigh of delight as Alex grabbed her about the waist and planted a firm hard kiss upon her mouth. She reacted in kind, warming immediately to his touch and caresses. She returned his kisses greedily, grabbing his shirt by the neck and drawing him closer. Alex leaned his body against her, showing her exactly what her kisses were doing to him. He groaned again as she slid a hand against the hardening proof of his arousal. His cock twitched in response and Lana tightened her grip playfully. Wordlessly, he lifted her up, her arms around his neck. Carrying a woman with only one working arm was not an easy feat but one he had managed to perfect with Lana's patient assistance. Now setting her down gently was a different matter. As they neared the bed they simply collapsed onto one another. Krycek had a twinge of worry-a momentary tightness in his chest, before Lana planted eager kisses along the neckline of his shirt. The awkward collision of shins and elbows forgotten, they fumbled at one another's clothing until finally, naked, he pulled her against him. Her body was soft, warm, inviting. God, she felt good like this. Almost like the first time-not the awkward first attempt at sex, but the first time you really did it right-with someone you wanted, comfortable in the knowledge they wanted you back. The surprise of their body pressed against yours a tangible feeling so strong it almost hurt from feeling so good-so much so you never wanted to leave the bed. He wanted to push so deep into her that they would be inside each other. Lana interrupted his thoughts, grinning at him slyly as she slid the calf of her leg atop his. He smiled in return, leaning over her and started to nibble gingerly at the place where her neck and shoulder met. She gasped quietly and Alex moved his leg out from beneath and then on top of hers, pushing her onto her back. Instead of complying, Lana chuckled softly, halting the moaning sounds she was making and slipped her leg back on top of his. She pressed back against him, her slight form making considerable progress against his larger one. She managed to get them both on their sides and began to press harder against him. Alex grinned with delight. Here was a battle he was delighted to lose. But not too easily. He gave Lana a significant look and used a little leverage to counteract the pressure of her body against his. When Lana began to push back in earnest, Alex relaxed completely, sinking back onto his back and grabbing Lana at the same time, taking her with him. She almost squealed out loud, then grabbed on tightly as her husband lifted her astride him. Lana gazed at him lovingly as he eased himself into her. Again, Lana's expression turned merry and without hesitating, she sank onto him. Krycek gasped with delight. The sheer heat and tightness of her enveloped him to the hilt. Lana began to move, slowly at first then increasingly faster. She rode him, their eyes locking then closing at key moments when the feeling was too much. Every so often she would pause, breathless, and lean down to kiss him again, her mouth seeking his with an unquenchable thirst. Krycek protested the lost momentum, and strained against her. He took soft biting nips at her mouth and the rhythm began again. Shivers of delight ran down his spine as he took in the sight of Lana, dark hair cascading wildly around her shoulders, close to climax, and alternating soft moaning noises with the panting whimper that always signaled the end. She had begun to bite down on her lip, a definite sign of impending climax. "Povernis na zhivot!" he urged her. (Turn onto your stomach!) Lana complied willingly and Krycek thrust himself inside her. Alex grabbed a hold of her and pulled her roughly against him, all the while murmuring softly. Lana began to whimper softly then cry out, meeting his thrusts. As her soft whimpers grew to frenzied cries, she began to lose momentum and started to shake uncontrollably. "Bozhe Moy!" She cried. (My God!) Alex increased his pace, pushing deeper inside her until he felt his own release give way in a shuddering blinding moment. He cried out wildly, gasping for air as he sank against her. Lana was panting for breath. She trembled softly before collapsing onto the bed, her body damp with sweat. Ya-ya te-Ya tebya lyublyu, Alexei, she panted into his ear. ( I love you Alex.) "I love you, too," he replied softly. He felt her body relax, and he rolled gently alongside her. He stroked her hair, listening to her breathing grow steady as she fell into sleep. "I love you," he whispered sadly into her hair. Tomorrow. He would contact Skinner tomorrow