From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Tue, 2 May 2000 00:49:11 -0500 Subject: Secrets of Hollywood by: Faith by Faith Cavanaugh Source: direct Reply To: emcavababe@hotmail.com Title: Secrets of Hollywood Author: Faith Cavanaugh E-mail: EmCavaBabe@hotmail.com Classification: MSR Rating: PG.....sorry smutphiles!! :) Spoilers: Ok..... big Hollywood, AD Distribution: As long as you ask first, I'd be glad to let you have it. Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, though gosh damn it I wish they were! They all belong to CC and 1013.....bla bla bla......Damn the fates! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm sure that leaving the movie premier wasn't the best course of action. In fact I'm definitely most positive. But I couldn't help it. I mean, really I could have stuck it out, like Scully. But my pride got the best of me. It usually does. Just don't tell anyone that. I couldn't just sit there and watch as two people, who are supposed to be Scully and I, go at it in a coffin! It was totally unrealistic, and not based any bit on reality. The only thing similar between that man kissing Tea Leoni is that Shandling is about my height, and he has the same color hair. That, and he is in love with Scully. Granted, the Scully he is in love with is a character "loosely based" upon my Scully, but in reality, it's the same thing. They are the same person. That, and Scully has a better haircut. And wow, tonight, she looked amazing. That little black dress looked wonderful on her, fitting her well-toned body in all the right places. I really didn't have to leave. I probably made an ass of myself by doing so. Which is why I hid in the back of the theater until the end credits rolled. I had hoped it would take her a while to figure out where I was sulking. And now, as I'm eating the sunflower seeds I picked up at the refreshment stand before hauling ass out of the theater, there you are. "I've been looking all over for you." You've probably came to chew me out, once again, telling me that I was stupid for leaving the theater, and that I should have waited with you until the end of the movie to walk out with some dignity. Screw dignity. "They got us soooo wrong Scully." I just can't get over the fact that that freak of nature Federman had the characters that were "loosely based" upon us making out like horny little teenagers. He had our relationship backwards. Completely backwards. "I got a page from the Washington Bureau. Micah Hoffman was murdered tonight, murdered in his own home by Cardinal O'Fallan who then hung himself. A murder suicide." As much as I want to say that surprises me, I can't. "It's Jesus and Judas, Scully." "Well it's all over now." But, how is it over when there is so much that doesn't make sense? "No, no, it's just beginning. Hoffman and O'Fallon were these complicated, flawed, beautiful people, and now they'll just be remembered as jokes because of this movie. The character based on O'Fallon is listed in the credits as the "Cigarette Smoking Pontiff". How silly is that?" I mean, they were normal people, however normal you can call what they did. It's not right to characterize them as something they aren't, or never will be. "Pretty silly." "Yeah, what about us? How are we going to be remembered now because of this movie?" I can't actually say it out loud. How will people that know us look at us when they see the movie? They will see us, or actors that play us, up on that screen, kissing. We don't kiss. Not often. We have a....special relationship. "Well hopefully the movie will tank." No kidding. That would be the answer to all the problems. It would be sweet payback for Federman too. "What about all the dead people who are forever silent, who can't tell their stories anymore? They are all going to have to rely on Hollywood to show the future how we lived and it will all become over-simplified and trivialized and "Cigarette Smoking Pontiffisized," and becomes plastic and as meaningless as this stupid, plastic lazarus bowl." I am being overly facetious, but underneath all of the idiosyncrasies and metaphors, movies portray society and will forever affect society in a way we can't avoid. "I think the dead are beyond caring what people think about them. Hopefully we can adopt the same attitude. You do know there aren't real dead people out there right? That this is a movie set?" Yes, I know that this isn't real. I know that this ground that I sit on isn't grass, but is grass-like Astroturf that tickles when I move. "The dead are everywhere, Scully." "Well, we're alive, and we're relatively young. And Skinner was so tickled by the movie.." "I bet he was." No kidding, in the movie his character got a beautiful, amazing woman to admit she loved him. I'm sure he was tickled. "That he has given us a bureau credit card to use for the evening." If the Skin-man knew what I charged on my credit cards, he wouldn't give me one to play with. And you are thinking the same thing, because you are smiling that incredible smile and laughing contagious laugh that makes me shiver inside out. I can't help but smile. "Come on." You put your arm through mine, linking us as one, and we walk comfortably away towards the back door of the set. Mulder, I have something to confess." Oh no, here it comes. "What's that?" "I am in love with Associate Producer Walter Skinner." I'm sure you are. Everyone loves Skinner these days. "Ahhhh me too." Let's get out of here Scully, and abuse that credit card that Skinner so naively gave us. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gerona Italian Restaurant 9:26 pm As we sit here, lit only by the candles dancing on our table at this fabulous new restaurant, I can't help but question what we saw in the movie. And by the way you are looking at me, or rather, the way you aren't looking at me, I know things have been on your mind, despite your somewhat humorous attempts to mask the days events. I have to admit, though, that by taking a step back, I somehow wished that we could kiss like they did, that we could be like Tea Leoni and Gary Shandling and passionately kiss; minus Shandling's shag-like haircut. "Scully? Do you think that the movie will tank?" "Yes I do, Mulder. Though it was based upon real characters, it's premise is uncharacteristic and will most likely offend society's primitive minds." "Go with it, Scully." "Seriously, Mulder. Federman's portrayal of us was so far off base, it was frightening. I mean for them to be lying together, in a coffin no less, kissing like.. like..." "Horny little teenagers?" You nod in agreement, and smile. I notice, however, that you keep twirling the same strand of fettucini alfredo over and over, poking at it, like there is something else on your mind. "Scully? Do you sometimes..." "Yes." I can't even speak, when you answer my question before I even ask it. You obviously have been thinking the same thing. "You do? I mean, you really want for us to..." "Yes, Mulder, I do. Why is that so hard to believe?" "It's not hard, Scully, believe me. I think about it all the time." And the moment in which I say these words you smile like you have just seen someone you haven't seen in a long time. And maybe that's true. "But it isn't going to be like the movies, Scully. You must realize that." "Yes, of course, Mulder." And you lean over across the table, placing your hands gently within mine. Your lips come within centimeters of mine, and yet you stop. "Of course, Mulder, I'm not going to leave you for Associate Director Walter Skinner." This, as one would expect, pleases me. And we kiss. It's not a kiss of passion, where sparks fly and everything around you ceases to exist. It's a beautiful, soft, gentle kiss that makes all the hairs on my arms stand on end, like I have been electrified somehow. But I have. I pull away, not from wanting to let you go, Scully, but from needing a second to process what has just happened. "Scully, Hollywood presents the typical romance as one where concerto music plays when they kiss, and where they live happily ever after. But behind all the glitz and glamour and special effects, Hollywood is basically an exaggerated version of real life." I still hold your hands between mine, as if they are a lifeline to which that I cannot live without. "Mulder, when has our relationship been anything but typical? Stop analyzing, stop overthinking, and just let go. The secrets that Hollywood cleverly disguises in movies are very clear, when you push all the excess away." And you grip my hands tighter, showing me that smile which supersedes all others. "Come on, Mulder. Let's get outta here. Let's go abuse that credit card some more." "Check? Waiter? Check please." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Any comments, please send to emcavababe@hotmail.com Thanks!