From: Sheryl Martin Date: Tue, 04 Jan 2000 19:17:47 -0500 Subject: NEW- Second Chance (1/1) Please Archive... grin... All Characters copyright of TenThirteen Productions and Chris Carter. No infringement intended on any part... go ahead, take me to court... I'm using the insanity defense... heh, heh, heh... Comments, complaints and just plain talk to sheryl_martin@goodmedia.com Summary: A visit to an old friend stirs feelings... Spoilers: Memento Mori, if you can believe it... and Season Six... Rating: G, Story... lo-cal fluff guaranteed to NOT include the words Millennium or Y2K... Second Chance (1/1) by Sheryl Martin The gravestone is cool under my touch; the granite devouring my heat. My fingers waver along the smooth edges where they drop away to the ground below. I have not been here since the funeral. I should have visited before, but it was not until recently that I had the strength; physically and emotionally to deal with this, to deal with the picture as a whole now that I know. She had it all arranged before she died. I'm not surprised; in the short time that I knew her she struck me as the type of person who would have done it that way. Her way. It was all prepaid and set up through the hospital; the chaplain presiding over the small service in the chapel, peering at me every now and then as I hovered between exhaustion and panic. With one arm wrapped protectively around my shoulders Mulder nodded to the priest; signaling that I was fine and to continue. Penny Northern was the last of us. There was no family; no friends - only a few devoted nurses and orderlies who had helped her along this final road and the unmistakable mystery men who filtered in and out of the chapel silently; off to make their little notes and report back to their master. Now I am here, at her grave and I have no words. Because I have found answers. But none she would approve of. Mulder's feet crunch on the frozen grass behind me and stop. I can't help smiling in spite of myself. "I'm fine, Mulder." He walks by me shyly and places the bouquet of flowers on the ground in front of us; stepping back to my side. My hand reaches up slowly to rub the back of my neck and to touch IT. And I don't know what to say to her now. I had it all rehearsed in my mind; all sorted out on the plane flight to Pittsburgh and on the drive down here. How do I tell you what the truth was when I'm afraid of it myself? And if I had found it out in time to save you, would you have taken it? Let the chip be re-implanted in your neck and watch your cancer subside; the fear of dying replaced by the ever-present terror of knowing that any night, any time you might not wake up? I have traded one horror for another and while I cannot and will not regret the choice, I feel in my soul that you would have not taken this path. My fingers trace the minute scar; rub at the raised nub of skin that signals my participation in the Project or whatever code name it exists under now. Dropping my hand back down I slip it inside my pocket and try not to scream. You wanted me to survive; demanded that I survive to help find the truth. But what would you have thought of it and of my choices along the way? A cool wind whips around the frail roses; twisting the leaves and crashing the thorns into the tender buds attempting to survive in this hostile environment. I don't know what the truth is anymore, Penny. I don't know what else to do other than keep searching and hoping that the nightmare is over; that I can sleep tonight and not stare out the window and pray that I wake in the morning alive and well. Suddenly a warmth descends on the back of my neck; covering my scar with uncommon gentleness. I recognize it as Mulder's, his hand lightly stroking the fine hairs and scorching the sensitive skin with his body heat. "She would be proud of you." I want to say something; anything - but instead I suck in a lungful of air that turns into a sob as I turn towards him. And he is there; arms wrapped around me as I take shuddering breaths and bury my face in his chest and cry for all of us, all of the lost women and men who didn't get a second chance. Finally I break away; swiping at my burning cheeks with the sleeve of my trench coat and at my nose. I turn towards the grave again; searching for the words again. But I can't find them. I might never find them again. I can't even tell her what the truth is because I don't know what it is. There's just too many holes; too many gaps. Not enough data to give me a coherent theory to take to anyone outside of the Bureau. Hell, outside of the X Files. And I guess that's what frustrates me the most. Not being able to stare at them as they stand in a jail cell; give testimony in court and watch the sentencing. Watch them rot away with time until nothing is left but a few cold names in a history book linked with the worst murderers in history. But there's not enough. Not yet. "We should get going." His hand lands again on the back of my neck; caressing the chilled skin and sending a shiver down my spine. "It's getting dark." "I didn't know you were afraid of the dark, Mulder..." I force a cheerful lilt into my voice, although we both know it's faked. "Yah, well... The hotel might just give away our rooms." A flirty wink. "And then we'd have to sleep in the car." "Oh, I don't think so..." I look down at the roses. "Just give me a minute..." Kneeling down in front of the stone I cross myself and utter a quiet prayer; seeing Mulder step back a few feet in an attempt to give me some privacy. Maybe you'd be proud of me, Penny. Proud of what I've done. Proud of what I will do. Because I will never forget you. In my worst hour you gave me the strength to continue my fight; continue being with Mulder and with the X Files. And for that I will forever be grateful. Brushing frozen slivers of grass from my knees I get up and turn away from the roses; not wanting to see them as they freeze. Mulder offers me his arm and I take it; relishing the warmth of him as he leads me towards the car and back to the real world. Opening the passenger door he waits until I've gotten in before heading to his side, eagerly revving the engine to generate heat. "Ready to go?" The soft words drift towards me as I look out the window one last time at the thick granite. "Yah." I look at him and smile. "Let's go." ************** Thanks for reading... And for those of you who still remember Jackie... thought I'd give you a preview of "Dragons on The Move"... which I'm still working on, promise... ;-) ************** "Explain to me why you don't see this case as interesting to you, Agent Mulder." The stony tone cracked across the agent's back like a whip. "I do find it interesting." The mild protest carried across the room. "But I wonder why it's being brought to us at this time." Mulder let the words hang in the air. "You know what I'm referring to." Skinner nodded. "Yes, and I know that your caseload is light at this time. And that you need to be away from the office for a few days to guarantee you free rein when the time comes." His eyes narrowed as he stared at the man. "Work with me here, Mulder. Give a little here and get a lot in return." With a weary shrug, Mulder nodded. "So..." He peered at the pictures again. "What's this mark on the neck?" Williams let his breath out slowly, feeling the tension in the room ease. "There's a series of puncture wounds in each body - neck; over the heart; each hand and each foot." He flipped a page over. A finger tapped the photograph as he leaned over the table and directed Scully's attention to her specific photo. "And abrasions and bruising around the necks show that they were probably strangled with some sort of thick cord; the main cause of death being strangulation and not drowning at this point." "What else?" Mulder pursed his lips as he studied the images. "They'd been crushed." Raising his hand as their heads snapped up, Williams held them at bay. "You can't really tell from the photographs, but something was wrapped around their bodies and tightened to the degree that smaller bones were crushed to pulp and larger ones fractured and broken." He glanced at Scully. "I've got no idea what the hell did that." Putting a finger to his lips Mulder began to rock back and forth in his chair. "Before or after they died?" "Can't tell. The water in Lake Ontario is cold enough to sway a lot of our readings. Best bet my people can give is that they were killed first from the crushing and strangulation; the blood drained, then dumped in the water. But no idea of the amount of time between all three." Williams looked over at Skinner, seeing the slight nod of approval. "I know it's asking the two of you to go out of your jurisdiction and I can't say that my government is too happy about it - nor the local law enforcement boys or the Mounties. But my budget is being slashed on a daily basis and they're asking me to run my department on the cost of Mulder's suits for a year..." He grinned as Mulder traced the lapels of his jacket with a shocked look. "And it works for all of us if we can get this case closed. The tourist connection is enough to get me clearance to have the two of you go to Toronto and work from there without any interference." Scully scooped up her set of photographs; sliding them into her folder. "So... when do we leave?" "Flight's in four hours." Devon smiled. "And Jackie'll be at the airport to meet you - I sent her up ahead to secure a hotel and to dig up her old informants to see what's the scuttlebutt." "How'd she feel about going back?" Mulder stood up, stretching long arms towards the ceiling and nearly touching. "Good and bad. She never had a lot of friends there to start with, and her 'defection' down here hasn't helped things any." Williams shrugged. "But I expect she'll be okay." ************** been there, done that... wrote the fanfic... ************************* People live with cancer. They carry on, and so will I. You know I've got things to finish, to prove to myself, to my family ... but for my own reasons. Scully - Momento Mori ************************* "Heart of a warrior, mind of a fool... soul of a romantic..." - Jackie St. George ************************* Dragon's Lair - www.geocities.com/area51/chamber/7976 - sent via an evaluation copy of BulkRate (unregistered).