From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:46:28 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See Introduction for Summary and Disclaimers.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake

***

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
New York City
Wednesday 1:16 pm

"Mulder, where are you going?" Caitlin demanded as he shot to his feet
and walked to the foyer.  Scully stood, watching him.  The two women
exchanged a look behind his back.  Caitlin lifted her eyebrows in a
silent question and Scully shook her head.  Caitlin didn't like the way he
was reacting.  His immediate impulse upon arriving at her home was to go
see Faith.  Under the circumstances, and especially with Rey Curtis
keeping watch over Faith, Caitlin thought it a bad idea.  They'd argued
briefly, a cold anger rising in Mulder's voice.

He appeared in the doorway to the living room, shrugging into his
topcoat. "I'm going to see her.  To tell her-"

"Mulder, that's not a good idea.  Let me go," Caitlin said desperately.
"Rey's with her and I don't think-"

"Screw Rey."

"You don't understand," she whispered with a pleading glance at Scully.

"Caitlin," Scully said softly.  "What's wrong?"

She didn't want to do this.  She *really* didn't want to do this.  She
didn't' want to tell him and see the pain as it dawned in those hazel
eyes. Caitlin stuck her hands in her back pockets and shrugged
unhappily. Her gaze met his steadily though and Mulder almost flinched
from the sympathy that glowed in the green depths.

"What?" he asked impatiently.  She was usually so forthright that her
prevarication made him edgy.

"She was pregnant, Mulder," Caitlin sighed.  "She was pregnant and she
lost the baby."

"Oh, my God," Scully whispered and Mulder closed his eyes, turning away.
Faith, pregnant?  It didn't bear thinking about.  He slumped, visibly.

"All right," he said lowly, letting his coat slip from his shoulders.
"I won't go."

Caitlin smiled, softly, and touched his arm lightly.  "Now," she said
firmly, "how are we going to track down Alex Krycek?"

***

New York General Hospital
New York City
December 10
Wednesday 10:37 pm

Caitlin rubbed her eyes and glanced at Rey across the hall.  He looked
utterly exhausted, fingers barely gripping the cup of coffee she had
gotten him three hours ago.  His eyes stared blankly at the closed door,
behind which Faith slept.

"Rey," Caitlin said quietly, and he started, almost dropping the cup.
She smiled, softly. "You should go home and get some rest."

Rey half-smiled and took a sip of his coffee, grimacing in disgust. "So
should you," Caitlin smiled back and looked up the hall.  Mike was coming
down the hall, Chloe in his arms.  Just the sight of him holding a child
made her heart ache.  The hurt deepened when she heard Chloe's happy
chatter.  The poor little girl had no idea what was going on.  Rana had
left hours ago, leaving Chloe with them.  Chloe had cried for an hour
straight at the fact she had woken up in a strange place, without her
mother.  Caitlin had managed to calm her down, and Chloe had then
eagerly let Mike take her to play in the Nursery downstairs.

Brandishing a red lollipop, Chloe wiggled out of Mike's hold and climbed,
clumsily up beside Caitlin, who smiled at Mike, tiredly.  Her eyes lit on
Rey, seeing his soft eyes watch Chloe with a small smile on his face,
almost wistfully. Chloe shoved the candy in Caitlin's face, grinning.
"Look!  Mike got me a 'pop!"

Caitlin smiled at Chloe, stroking her hair and turning half-scolding
eyes on Mike. "Mike, Faith doesn't like Chloe to have a lot of candy."

Mike grinned at her, leaning to kiss her forehead. "Relax, Cait," he
slipped another lollipop from his coatpocket. "I got you one, too,"
Caitlin smiled, softly.

"Caitlin?" Chloe tugged on her arm and Caitlin turned to address
worried, dark eyes. "Where's my mommy?"

Caitlin glanced at Mike, nervously.  Chloe saw the looked and her eyes
filled, bottom lip trembling, dangerously. "I want my mommy," she
whimpered, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Where's my mommy?"

Caitlin swallowed hard and chewed on her cheek as Mike sat to hold her
hand. Chloe sniffled, forlornly, tears dripping down her cheeks. "Chloe,"
Mike said, softly. "Why don't you color for awhile?"

"I don't WANT to color!" Chloe sobbed, worriedly. "I want my mommy!"

Caitlin looked helplessly at Mike, then at Rey. "Don't cry, honey.  It's
okay, Chloe, don't cry," she tried to hug the little girl, but Chloe moved
away, crying miserably.  Caitlin glanced again at Rey, who stood up,
moving to squat before Chloe.

He smiled gently and Chloe looked at him, curiously. "Hey, Chloe," he
said, softly. "Remember me?"

Chloe nodded, rubbing her eyes with a balled up fist. "Rey," she
sniffled.

"Right," he praised, softly. "Do you remember what we did when I came
over?"

Chloe was quiet, thinking.  Then she nodded. "We watched a movie.  And
had pizza."

"Right, right," Rey said, smiling, wiping her tears.  She was biting her
lip, just like her mother did, and watching him with her huge dark eyes.
"I-I miss my mommy..." Chloe said, her voice hitching. "Let-Let me see
her...please?"

Rey sighed, wiping away the fresh flow of tears from her cheek. "Okay,
Chloe.  You can see your mommy, OK?  Soon, I promise."

"No!" Chloe said, panicking. "I want to see my mommy RIGHT NOW!"

Rey sighed and rubbed his eyes.  He looked up at Caitlin, who shook her
head, eyes wide.  Letting out a long breath, he looked into the mournful
face of the little girl, his heart twisting.  She had no idea what had
happened, and looked as helpless as he had felt, standing outside the
trauma room as Faith lay on the other side, needing him. "Okay," he
whispered, his voice shaking. "Let's go see your mom."

Caitlin made an objecting noise, but Rey ignored it, scooping Chloe up
and slowly opening the door of the quiet hospital room.

The heart monitor beeped with blessed constant beside the bed, where
Faith lay, her face drawn and pale in sleep, hateful bruises across her
face and lack of sleep.  Carefully, Rey sat down in the chair next to  the
bed beside Faith, flinching at the sight of the black stitches in her
forehead. Chloe unburied her face from his shoulder and stared, biting her
lip, at her mother. "Is Mommy okay?"

Rey sat down, heavily, beside the bed. "Your mom got hurt, hon.  She got
hurt very bad.  But she's gonna be okay.  Really."

Chloe sniffled and Rey watched as the woman in the bed, stirred.  Her
eyes blinked with soft confusion, but took in Rey and Chloe.  Shifting her
weight with a wince, she smiled, softly. "Hey, Chloe.  Come here, hon."
Rey lifted Chloe, haltingly from his lap and settled her carefully beside
her mother.

Chloe instantly snuggled around Faith, laying her head on Faith's gently
rising chest.  Faith closed her eyes at the closeness and began to stroke
her daughter's dark curls, Rey marveling at how alike the two content faces 
were, identical black locks mixing together.

Caitlin opened the door and the movement startled Faith's eyes open.
Caitlin smiled, with silent apology. "Hey, you're awake.  How're you
feeling?"

Faith shrugged, emotionless and Caitlin nodded, her expression becoming
uncomfortable. "Um, Faith, you're mother's here.  Your
father-step-father-" Caitlin corrected herself, quickly. "And Katie, too."

"Christ..." Faith muttered, grimacing as a pain shot through her side.
"Tell them I died.  Tell them their line was busy and you couldn't get
through to-"

Caitlin was pushed aside by a huge bouquet of flowers.  With a groan,
Faith closed her eyes as her mother, Mary-Jane Luca, sashayed into the
hospital room, setting the gaudy flowers on the night table. "Chloe!" she
exclaimed, wiping her eyes. "There's my baby!" Mary-Jane leaned down and
kissed her granddaughter, who whimpered and turned her head.  "Now, now,
Chloe.  It's Grammy.  You love your grammy," Mary-Jane tried to pick up
the little girl, who yelped and held onto her mother, whose face contorted
with pain and rage.

"Mom!" Faith said, stonily. "Leave her alone."

"Faithy, my sweetheart," Mary-Jane stroked Faith's forehead and Faith
jerked as her fingers touched the purplish bruise."You shouldn't have to
deal with her when you're in this state.  When Katie told me you were in a
car accident-" Faith narrowed her eyes at her younger step-sister,
threateningly. "I knew that it would be the perfect time for me to spend
some quality time with my only grandchild."

"Katie called you?" Faith asked, the anger unmasked in her voice.

"Of course, honey.  She thought that it would be best for you if I come
and see you.  And since we haven't seen Chloe in so long, I thought that
it was an excellent idea," Mary-Jane smiled, knowingly at Harold. "Of
course, Katie also told us that you have some news for us."

Faith stared at Katie around her mother. "What news?"

"Well, she tells me that you were demoted from Lieutenant
to detective.  And now, with the accident, I'm sure you'll be moving
back to Washington.  We've fixed up the guest room and made your father's
den into Chloe's new room.  I'll arrange for you to move in as soon as
you're let out of here.  In the meantime, Chloe can come home with us.
We're leaving in a few hours-" Mary-Jane attempted once more to scoop up
Chloe and succeeded, though Chloe began to howl.  Tears welled in Faith's
eyes as she watched her little girl.  With a cry, Chloe tried to hold onto
the bedsheets, found the attempt useless and reached out, pleadingly, for
Rey.  With another good twist, Chloe launched herself at him, grabbing
around his neck with a sob. "Chloe!" Mary-Jane scolded.

"Mom, stop!" Faith demanded, her voice cracking as she took in her
little girl, sobbing into Rey's neck. "Please.  Let her go with him.
Please...she's been through enough today."

"Who's that?" Mary-Jane demanded.

Faith looked at the man holding her child, the hatred blazing in her
eyes lessening a notch."Rey."

Mary-Jane sighed, flopping into the hard, plastic chair. "Oh, dear God,
another one of your playmates.  I knew you'd never be able to stay-"

"Faith was pregnant with Rey's baby, Mom," Katie piped up, glaring at
Rey. "That's why she's in the hospital for so long.  She had a
miscarriage."

"Shut UP!" Faith shrieked, wincing at the pain and concentrating on the
seething anger.

"He's married, too, Mom," Katie added, angelically.

"You BITCH!" Faith shouted, helpless tears clogging her throat.  "You
goddamn loud-mouthed BITCH!"

"Faith!" Harold Luca spoke for the first time but Faith ignored him.
Rey met Caitlin's dumbstruck eyes with a look that read "What?  You didn't
know what it was like?".

"I knew it, I KNEW it!" Mary-Jane exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "I
said, dear-God-knows WHAT she'll expose that poor, sweet innocent child
to.  I knew you never should've moved.  When are you going to quit acting
like a child and accept the responsibility of what you do?  Faith Corona,
I've got HALF a mind to file for custody of Chloe.  With you working all
the time, leaving her with that woman from GOD knows where, and your
little torrid love affairs...you might as well be a prostitute.  I will
NOT have my only grandchild living this kind of life.  And now you've gone
an deprived me of another grandchild.  I hope this little "accident" was
an accident, not just one of your plans to make my life miserable!"

"You think I did this on purpose!" Faith asked, her voice shaking with
repressed anger.  Rey headed for the door, as Chloe howled into his
shoulder.  He motioned for Caitlin to follow him.  She pulled the door
shut, a look of horror on her face.

"I don't want to go with her!" sobbed Chloe, heartbrokenly.
"Please...don't make me go."

"Okay, okay," Rey whispered, stroking her hair. "It's okay, Chloe.  No
one's going to take you."

"What the hell's going on in there?" Mike asked, coming up the hall.  "You
can hear them all the way down at the nurses' station."

"No kidding," Caitlin agreed, rubbing her temples. "It's a warzone in
there!"

"You don't know about that?" Rey sat heavily in the chair, Chloe still
wrapped around him.

"No, obviously I missed something," Caitlin said with mild sarcasm,
sitting opposite Rey, eyes on the crying little girl.

"That," Rey said, shortly, motioning at the closed door, behind which
such hatred could be heard. "Faith's family,"  Caitlin shook her head.
Rey sighed, feeling Chloe begin to relax. "Let's just say they aren't the
Waltons. Look at her," Rey motioned at the girl curled in his lap. "Not
your typical grandchild."

"I take it it's more than that they never see each other," Caitlin
concluded. "I hardly see my mother, but I don't usually start screaming
obscenities when I do."

"Yeah, well, that's YOU," Mike pointed out, gruffly and Caitlin stared
at him, displeased with his caustic tone. "There's a reason why Faith
never sees her parents.  She hates them."

"That I could believe," Caitlin said with a glance at the closed door.
"But why?"

"Faith blames them for everything that's ever happened," Mike informed
her.

"The saddest part is most of it IS their fault.  Did you know that Katie
was born eleven months after Faith's father disappeared?" Rey asked,
stroking Chloe's hair as she rested her head against his chest, eyes
drooping.

Caitlin tapped a finger against the wall.  "Good God in heaven."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't like to talk about it," Rey felt Chloe shift
and smiled when he saw she had fallen asleep.  He held her closer and
continued to stroke her hair, absently, thinking of his own little
dark-haired girls.  Home with a mother who told them things that they
never needed to know-or that they even understood.  He could only imagine
what she would tell them if and when she found out.

"You have to get her pretty drunk to even get her to talk about her time
at the Bureau," Mike said, seriously.

"Mike!" Caitlin exclaimed, and Mike grinned, sheepishly.

"Well, it's true.  She's got a killer of a story if she ever opens up
and tells you," Mike kissed Caitlin's cheek, laughing at her shocked eyes,
and shot Rey a true smile. "How slammed was she when she told you?"

Rey gave him a small smile and closed his eyes as Chloe stirred.  "She
wasn't,"

The three sat in silence, pondering this.  The voices rose and fell,
louder and louder.  Mike stood, wincing. "The nurses are going to call
security if they keep that-"

A crash of smashing glass split the air and Rey shoved Chloe into
Caitlin's arms, jostling her awake as he threw open the door.

The vase of flowers lay in a thousand pieces on the linoleum floor.
From where Mary-Jane was standing, it looked as if Faith had took aim and
missed by only an inch.  Water was everywhere and glass shards crunched
beneath Rey's shoes as he stepped inside.  His eyes widened as he saw
Faith.  She was curled in a ball, head covered with her hands, back raking
with sobs.  She was mumbling something as Rey crossed the room, a cold
feeling twisting in his stomach as her sobs became words.

"Our baby...my baby...my baby...our baby...my baby...my baby..." she
whispered as he approached the bed, her whole body clenched and shaking
with pain, both physical and emotional.

"Faith," Rey said, gently, touching her waist.  She flinched and he
rubbed, softly, up her arms. "Faith, it's okay..."

She rolled over, face swollen and streaked with tears.  "Rey," she said,
her voice trembling. "Our baby.  I think there's something wrong with our
baby. Something happened to our baby...where's my baby?  What did they do
to our baby?"  Faith's chest was heaving and she sobbed. "I'm sorry...I'm
sorry...somebody took our baby away..."

With a shuddery sigh, Rey climbed, unthinking, onto the bed beside her
and held her in his arms, hugging her close, his lips in her hair as she
sobbed into his shirt.

Mike stared Harold Luca down, fury blazing in his eyes. "I think you
need to leave."

Harold nodded and took Katie's arm, sliding past Mike.  Mary-Jane
watched Rey rock her weeping daughter, and then looked to the door, where
Caitlin stood, holding Chloe, who was sobbing again at the sight of the
broken glass and her mother crying uncontrollably.  Mary-Jane opened her
arms to Chloe, who sobbed harder. "No!" she shrieked. "Don't let her take
me!"

"Chloe's staying with us," Caitlin said, stonily, her eyes narrowed.

Mary-Jane opened her mouth to object, but Mike took her arm. "Mrs. Luca,
I suggest you leave now."

Mary-Jane stared at him, anger burning in her eyes. "How dare you tell
me I can't take my own grandchild!"

"I'm telling you now," Mike said, his voice soft. "Please, Mrs. Luca.
Leave now." Mary-Jane pushed past them and huffed down the hall, Faith
sobs echoing after her.  Caitlin looked up at Mike, eyes glistening.  He
smiled, softly and kissed her forehead, as they listened to Rey whisper
promises into Faith's hair.

********

Continued in part 14-B.



From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:47:39 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake


***

New York City General Hospital
New York City
Wednesday 10:58 pm

"Oh, damn," Mike muttered, glancing over Caitlin's shoulder.

She looked up at him, at the harsh look on his face, and turned to see
what he was looking at down the hallway.  "What?"

Mulder and Scully were approaching down the hall and Caitlin glanced
nervously at the closed door of Faith's room, where Rey was.  "Don't let
him see Mulder," she instructed, her eyes lingering on the sleepy child
he cradled against his shoulder.

She met the two agents halfway up the hall and fixed Mulder with a
reproving glare.  "Mulder...you promised."

Mulder ignored the complaint, looking beyond her to the near-empty
trauma room waiting area.  "How is she?"

Caitlin sighed, avoiding the wistful pain in his hazel gaze.  "Not good.
Her family was here...she...they practically sent her into hysterics."

Scully frowned, shaking her head slightly and glanced up at Mulder's
set, tense features.

"I'm not surprised," Mulder said grimly, hurting for Faith.

Chloe lifted drowsy eyes from the curve of Mike's neck.  "Mulder!" she
exclaimed, spotting him, and wriggling down from Mike's arms, she ran to
the other man.

Smiling slightly, Mulder caught her in mid-leap, a bleak look still
gracing his eyes.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Rey growled behind Mike and Mike spun
on his heel.  Jealous anger and something very like hatred burned in Rey's
dark gaze.  Rey started towards the small group in the hallway but Mike
put out an arm, stopping him.

"He's here to help," Mike said quietly, the intensity in his voice
catching Rey's attention.

"We don't need his help," Rey spat, not removing his eyes from Mulder
holding Chloe.

"Yes, we do," Mike insisted, chafing a little at having to defend
Mulder's presence.  "Look, Curtis, I know how you feel-"

Rey laughed harshly.  "There's no way you can know how the hell I feel,
Logan," he scoffed.

Mike sighed impatiently, frowning at him.  "Yeah, Rey, I can.  Believe
me, I can.  I spent a week in sheer hell, believing Cait was dead," Rey
glanced at the older man in surprise.  "And if it wasn't for him," Mike
tilted his head in Mulder's direction, "I probably wouldn't have gotten
her back alive.  So I may not like him but I owe him for that...for
Cait's life.  I know what you're going through.  I *know*, Rey."

Rey nodded slightly, taken aback by the intensity in Mike's face and
voice.  The remembered pain was clearly still raw for him.

Mike nodded back, slowly, an understanding passing between the two men.
"He can help us get the guy who did this to Faith, Rey.  He may be the
only one who can."

Rey glanced away.  "I don't care how we get him, Logan.  I just want
him. And I want him bad."

Mike's gaze fell on Caitlin, who had taken a very drowsy Chloe from
Mulder, holding the little girl protectively against her.  His face
darkened ominously as his eyes again traced the bruising on her face.
"You're not the only one, Curtis.  You're not the only one."

***

Wednesday 11:21 pm

Caitlin pushed a couple of quarters into the soda machine, frowning over
the limited choices before finally making a selection.

Footsteps sounded behind her in the deserted hallway.  "Agent
Falconetti?" a soft voice said as Caitlin straightened with the cold soda
can.  She turned to find Katie Luca standing there.

"Detective Luca," she nodded coolly, popping the top on the can.

Caitlin waited for Katie to make the next move, watching as the younger
woman fidgeted nervously.

Katie glanced away before meeting Caitlin's cool, green gaze.  "Agent
Falconetti, I...I mean, my mother thinks it would be best if Chloe came
with us."

"Really?" Caitlin quirked one eyebrow, feeling a surge of irritation at
the utter self-centeredness of these people.  They were more concerned
with their own wants than with what was best for Faith and Chloe.  "I
beg to differ."

Katie's face closed up, an unattractive tightness settling over the
features that were a younger version of Faith's.  "You have no legal
right to her."

"Actually, you're wrong," Caitlin said firmly.  "Agent Mulder has placed
Chloe in protective custody until Alex Krycek is apprehended," she lied,
regarding Katie steadily and suppressing the childish urge to cross her
fingers behind her back.  There was no way on earth she'd let Faith's
child be subjected to more of what she'd witnessed earlier.  "And at
this point in time, that means my custody."

"He can't do that," Katie protested uncertainly.

"Tell that to the federal government," Caitlin shrugged.

"We can go to family services, get her transferred to my mother's
custody...with Faith's background, it shouldn't be too hard," Katie said
and Caitlin fought down the sudden urge to shake her.

"You do that, Detective Luca, and I promise you this...you can kiss your
career goodbye," Caitlin said softly, her voice dripping ice crystals.

Katie's eyes narrowed spitefully.  "You're a cold-hearted bitch, aren't
you, to keep a grandmother from her granddaughter?  I bet you and Faith
get along really well."

Caitlin tossed her empty can into the recycling bin against the wall.
"Actually, we do," she replied calmly, although anyone who knew her
would have recognized the temper that kindled in her eyes.  "What's your
problem anyway, Katie?  Why are you so damned intent on hurting Faith?  Is
it because she's always been better at things than you?"

"Better?" Katied scoffed, but Caitlin knew the barb had hit home.  "Her
life's a mess-"

"Maybe, but she has a life," Caitlin said quietly.  "What have you got,
Katie...other than the bitterness?"

She glanced over Katie's shoulder, spying Mike approaching with Chloe,
bundled into her coat and asleep on his shoulder.  "Think about it,
Katie," Caitlin said softly, more gently this time.  "She's the only
sister you've got."

She walked away quickly, going to join Mike and Chloe.  He smiled at her
slightly as she reached them.  "What did Katie want?' he asked in a low
voice.

"I'll give you three guesses," Caitlin replied wryly, pushing Chloe's
curls off her forehead.

Mike glanced down at the child he held.  "Chloe?"

"Right first time," she replied, voice hardening slightly.  "Want me to
take her?"

"She's heavier than she looks," he warned, shifting Chloe over to her
arms.  He watched the sudden wistfulness that flashed in her eyes.

Caitlin felt his eyes on her and smiled at him perhaps a little too
brightly.  "Please.  Anne-Marie weighs more than this," she glanced up
at his face, which was drawn with tension and lack of sleep.  "Are you
ready to go home?"

Mike's eyes lingered on her for a moment, caressingly.  "Yeah," he said
softly, "let's go home."

********

Continued in part fifteen.


From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:39:20 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake

***

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
New York City
Thursday 12:05 AM

Mike glanced up from the sports report on the evening news as Caitlin
entered the bedroom.  "Is she asleep?"

Caitlin smiled slightly, face shadowed with exhaustion.  "Finally, after
four readings of *Goodnight, Moon*," she shrugged, keeping her
expression carefully neutral.  "She wants her mother."

"Poor kid," Mike sympathized, watching as she tossed her robe over the
cedar chest and slid into bed beside him.

She propped her pillows against the headboard next to his, drawing her
knees up, arms draped loosely around them.  "She doesn't understand
what's going on and what happened today really upset her."

Mike reached out, smoothing her hair behind her ear.  "Yeah, Faith's
family is a real trip," he grimaced.  "Kinda reminds me of mine."

"Mmmm," Caitlin was noncommittal, thinking of the excruciating
politeness she and her mother used.

Mike glanced at her.  "Cait?  You okay, hon?"

"Fine," she answered absently, as though her thoughts were miles away.
He leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist.  "Hey," he
whispered against her ear, sending shivers through her.  "Where are you?"

"Right here," she whispered, leaning back into his strength.

"Mommy!" the little girl's scream ripped through the apartment and they
jerked apart, running for the second bedroom.

"Chloe?" Mike reached her first, scooping the sobbing child onto his
lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck in a stranglehold, sobbing
hysterically.  Mike ran a large hand over the small, dark head,
whispering soothingly to his partner's child.

Caitlin backed away from the scene, unconsciously, feeling an invisible
hand squeezing her throat, making it difficult to breathe.

***

New York General Hospital
New York City
December 11
Thursday 9:01 am

Sheila entered the room after softly tapping on the door.  Faith barely
glanced at her, staring morosely out the window at the dreary gray sky.
"Good morning," Sheila said gently.  "How are you feeling this morning?
Physically, I mean."

Faith shrugged.  "I'm okay," she whispered.  "A little sore, I guess."

Sheila very carefully manipulated Faith's lower abdomen and smiled at
her. "I imagine you feel like you've been hit by a Mack truck."  She knew
because she herself felt that way.  If Kelly found out she was out of
bed and on rounds...

She turned away, making a note on Faith's chart.  "Faith," she said
softly, remembering.  "I know Dr. Elizabeth Olivet serves as a
department psychiatrist for the NYPD.  I think it might be a good idea if
you talked to her."

Faith shook her head adamantly, eyes mutinous and darkly angry.  "I
don't need to talk to anyone."

Sheila sighed, pulling up a chair by the bed.  "Faith, this is going to
be hard to believe right now, but I know how you feel."

Faith felt a spurt of almost uncontrollable anger.  God, she wanted to
strike out at someone so badly...anyone.  "How could you know?" she
snapped, thinking of Sheila Ransome's healthy little infant daughter.

Sheila sighed.  "Because Kelly and I lost our first baby eight years
ago. And I still remember how that felt...how empty and alone and furious
I was.  I just want you to know that if you do need someone to talk to,
and don't want to use Doctor Olivet, that my door is always open."

Faith didn't respond, pleating the sheet with her fingers.  Sheila
smiled slightly.  "Would you like to go home today?"

Faith looked up quickly.  "Can I?"

Sheila nodded.  "Yes, you may.  But take it easy for a few days.  I'd
rather you didn't go back on duty for at least a week, preferably two.
Lots of rest.  Make an appointment to see me, or my partner, next week."
She watched Faith's face, grimacing slightly.  "I have to give you the
spiel, Faith.  No intercourse until you see me next week.  But I don't
see any reason why you can't try to conceive again immediately, if that's
what you want."  She smiled again, a cool professional smile that was
almost identical to Caitlin's.  "I'll let Detective Curtis know that you
can go home today.  I think he's still haunting the halls."

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
Thursday 12:13 pm

Caitlin nervously removed her jacket.  Her hands had been shaking
through the whole drive over, and she was glad she had insisted on telling
Faith herself. Rey had opened the door, his face a array of exhaustion and
frustration. He was now sprawled on the couch, clicking through the
channels rapidly. Perching on the chair, she looked at him,
sympathetically. "Is she here?"

Rey sighed, angrily and sat up, head in his hands. "No, actually, she
went for a jog.  You want me to leave her a message?" Hearing the
frustration in his own voice, he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "Sorry.  Yeah,
she's here."

"In the bedroom?"

"Yeah, where else would she be?  She not gonna come out while I'm here.
She's got Rana ready to quit 'cuz' she screams at her if she trys to come
in," he shook his head. "I don't even know if she'll let you in.  You can
try.  I can't go in."

Caitlin slowly walked over to the door, the smothered sounds of music
coming from inside.  If Faith had been turning away Rey, she was sure that
she had no chance of entering the bedroom.  Taking a breath, she knocked.

"Go away, Rey," came the husky reply.

"Faith, it's me, Cait," Caitlin said, her voice trembling.

There was a silence. "Is Rey still here?" came the reply.  Cait smiled
slightly. Faith sounded frightened at the thought of him being gone.  She
saw the look on Rey's face, the exhausted, amused smile.

"I'm still here, Faith," he chuckled.

"I don't want Rey to come in here," Faith announced, loudly, though her
voice didn't carry very far.

Rey gave a tired sigh and resumed his spot on the couch. "Go ahead.
Don't wait for a written invitation."

Caitlin swallowed hard, suddenly remembering what she was here to tell
Faith. Her stomach clenched dangerously, and she opened the door.

The room was cool and dark.  The shades were drawn, restricting the
winter sun from coming inside.  Clothes littered the floor and the TV sat,
'Soundgarden' blaring.  As her eyes adjusted, they lay on Faith.  She was
seated crosslegged at the head of the bed.  Her face was pale and drawn,
dark hallows accentuating her dark eyes.  Her hair was snarled and
unwashed, curling around her face and past her shoulders.  She wore only a
faded green t-shirt with the 'Blues Traveler' symbol on it, the words
'SECURITY' printed on the back, with the collar cut off.

Caitlin cringed at the music."Faith, can't you turn that down?"

Faith picked up the remote and, eyes on Cait's face, turned up the
volume four notches.  The two woman stared at each other, Faith's eyes
flickering defiantly. Anger swelled inside Caitlin and she stormed over to
the bed, snatching away the remote and hitting mute.  Faith grabbed it
away and turned it back on. With a growl, Cait pulled it from her hands,
hit 'POWER' and threw it violently in the general direction of the
bathroom.  Faith scrambled up to get after it, but Caitlin stopped her,
pushing her lightly back towards the bed.  "Dammit, Faith, don't start
with me right now!  I didn't come in here to fight with you!"

Faith glared at her, ripping her arm away from Caitlin's grip. "Don't
touch me."

Caitlin swallowed her anger, telling herself that this was just a phase.
Faith didn't know what she was doing. "Okay, I won't touch you.  Can I
talk to you, though?"

Faith moved to the other side of the bed and began biting her nails,
eyes flickering from the TV to Caitlin's face. "Why?"

Taking a deep breath, Caitlin sat back, examining her friend. "Why won't
you let Rey in here?"

Faith rolled her eyes and laid down, stretching her bare legs out. "I
don't want to talk about Rey."

"Why won't you let him in?  He had to tell Deborah where he was, Faith,"
Caitlin continued, wondering why on earth she was even defending Rey.
"He's risking the custody of his kids for you, Faith, I-"

"I told you I don't want to talk about him!" Faith exploded, her eyes
blazing.

"Why not?" Caitlin demanded, her voice matching Faith's volume.

Faith was silent, her face stony.  Caitlin sighed and leaned
forward."Okay, I'll stop.  I didn't come to talk about him," Faith looked
at her, mild curiosity building in her eyes.  Caitlin took another deep
breath, gathering her courage. "Faith, we found out who sabotaged your
car."

Faith's eyes lit up, excitedly. "Have you caught him yet?"

Caitlin's heart ached as she realized how badly this was going to hurt
Faith. "No, no we haven't been able to locate him.  But we will.  His
prints were all over the car, and we ran them.  He's wanted for a lot of
stuff."

Faith sat up, seeing the look on Caitlin's face.  Caitlin ran a hand
over her face, trying to piece the sentence together in her head.
"Faith...Faith, his name is Alex Krycek."

The look of shock and pain spreading over Faith's face almost crippled
Caitlin as she stood up to offer comfort.  Faith sat, stock-still on the
bed, her eyes huge, filling with cold, frightened tears. "Al-Alex?"

"Faith, we're doing our best to find him-" Caitlin said, sitting on the
edge of the bed.  Faith didn't move, her breath coming in quick bursts.
Caitlin moved to put her arm around her, alarmed. "Faith, it's going to be
okay.  We're searching around the-"

"Call Mulder," Faith said, softly.

Caitlin smiled slightly.  "I already did.  At this moment, he's at my
office, working."  She didn't add that he was trying to set up a way to
trap Krycek.

Faith nodded, as another tear streamed down her cheek. "Where's Chloe?"
her voice held a note of panic. "I want Chloe.  Now."

"I-I don't know," Caitlin stood up and stuck her head into the living
room.  Rey was still on the couch. "Where's Chloe?"

"Napping in her room," Rey said, sitting up, nervously. "What's wrong?"

"Can you go get her?" Caitlin looked back at Faith, who was sobbing into
her knees, rocking herself back and forth.  Rey stood up and hurried into
Chloe's room, emerging with the sleeping little girl in his arms.  He
stopped at the doorway, his dark eyes taking in Faith.  Something twisted
in Caitlin's stomach as she stood, blocking his path into the room.  The
pain and longing was etched strongly into his tired face. He swallowed
hard and looked at Caitlin, pleadingly.

"What's wrong?"

Caitlin took the limp girl and held her tightly, wishing desperately she
could tell him it would be okay, that he could go into the bedroom and
hold the weeping woman. "I'll tell you later, it'll be okay.  I swear,
okay?"

Rey nodded, biting his lip as Caitlin laid Chloe in Faith's arms.  Faith 
rocked Chloe, bending over her as choked sobs arose from the bed, Faith
murmuring incoherently as Caitlin slumped into the chair to wait.

********

To be continued in part sixteen.







From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:40:32 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake


***

Outside the Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
Thursday 8:16 pm

"All right, Logan, if we're so obvious, who out here is Bureau?" Kelson
challenged, sipping his now cold coffee.  Fox Mulder was convinced that
Krycek would make another move, that he was desperate enough to try to
take Chloe from Faith's home.  Subsequently, they had set up a joint
stake-out, with personnel from both the NYPD and the FBI.

Mike glanced down the street.  "The bum on the corner, the punk kid with
the radio and the guy leaning on the car."

Kelson grinned, shaking his head.  "Your O for three, buddy-ro."

Mike looked at him askance.  "So where are they?"

"Hey, that's for me to know and you to find out," Kelson smirked.  He
jumped as Hale opened the back door and slid into the back seat.  

"I'm telling you, Ransome, it's damned cold out there," Hale griped,
laying a chilled hand across the back of Kelson's neck.  "Why don't you go
out there for a while and I'll take lookout?"

"No way," Kelson grinned.  "I might've been born at night, but it wasn't
last night."

Ignoring their banter, Mike tried to stretch in the cramped confines of
the front seat. He glanced up the sidewalk and straightened, suddenly
alert.  He picked up the FBI photo and held it up for Kelson, watching the
tall man in jeans and a leather jacket approaching down the sidewalk.
"Son of a bitch. That's him."

He swung out of the car, Kelson following.  "Alex Krycek?" he called.

Krycek froze, then spun on his heel, sprinting in the opposite
direction. Mike and Kelson ran after him and Mike was peripherally aware
that two other agents had joined them.  Pushing hard, he closed the last 
few yards between himself and the younger man, grabbing a handful of
Krycek's jacket and slinging him against the wall.

Krycek flung an elbow back, catching Mike fully on the nose.  Cursing
viciously, feeling the blood pouring from his nose, Mike tightened his
grip on Krycek's neck as Kelson, Hale and Mulder joined him.
Mike pushed Krycek into the wall, hard, and held him there forcibly with
an arm across his shoulders.  "Come on, Mr. Krycek, let's go down to the
precinct and have a little talk."

***

27th Precinct
New York City
Thursday 8:51 pm

Lennie Briscoe looked steadily at his younger partner, with a fatherly
concern. "Hey, Rey, you okay?"

Rey looked up from where he sat, head in his hands. "Yeah," he said,
softly. "I'm fine," He rubbed his eyes, leaning back to take a gulp of his
cooling coffee. "Worn out, Lennie.  God, just seeing how tired she was
tonight...she looked so..." Rey searched for the words to describe the
pain on Faith's face. "I don't know," His phone rang shrilly, and he
picked up, clearing his throat. "Curtis."

"It's Caitlin," the dark, husky voice of Caitlin Falconetti drifted over
the line. "Calling to check in."

"How's she doing?" Rey asked, sighing, waiting for the familiar words.
They had the same conversation every ten or fifteen minutes.

"Fine," Caitlin replied, though her voice stated the fact that Faith
wasn't exactly 'fine'. "She's still asleep, didn't wake up once."

Rey nodded, absently, as the doors to precinct opened.  Mike stormed in,
cold fury blazing in his eyes as he wiped his bloodied nose.  He yanked a
younger, dark-haired man along beside him.  He was strangely familiar and
Rey stared at them, as Mike shoved the man towards the IR, followed by
Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. A sudden, cold realization washed
over him and he almost choked on the anger that flooded through him.

"Rey?  Rey, you there?" Caitlin asked, her voice calling him. "Rey?"

"Yeah," Rey said, slowly, dark eyes locked on Mike and the man heading
towards the IR.

"You okay?" Caitlin asked, worriedly. "Rey?"

"I gotta go," he hung up, standing up and slowly crossing the squad
room. Murderous anger was building behind his eyes, red flooding his gaze.
Mike turned at the last minute and caught the look in his eyes.

"Whoa," Mike said, stepping in between the man and Rey. "Whoa, Rey,
wait."

"Move," Rey growled, grabbing the arm of the hand-cuffed man, ripping
him from Mike's grasp, and hauling him into the IR.

"Jesus!" was all Alex Krycek had time to sputter before Rey shoved him
full-force against the IR table and hit him square in the jaw.  Rey hit
him again and again, Krycek feebly trying to avoid Rey's furious
blows, the feat made near impossible by his handcuffed wrists.

"Rey!" Mike hollered, standing inside the doorway.  . Van Buren pushed
past him, angrily.

"Detective Curtis!" she said, loudly.  Her shouts were unheeded as
Krycek managed to throw Rey off, using his head to shove the other man
into the wall with all his force.  The pain shot through Rey, but it
only made him angrier.  He was going blind with rage, and he dragged
Krycek up and threw him against the table again, banging Krycek's head
violently against the table.

"You son of a bitch!" Rey hissed, grasping Krycek's throat with one
hand. "Why her, you goddamned son of a bitch?  Why her?"

"Rey!" Mike stepped closer, getting worried as Rey's fingers pressed
angrily against Krycek's throat. "Rey, let him go."

"You killed our baby!  You tried to take her away from me!" Rey spat
into Krycek's face, sweat dripping. "You should die, you bastard!"

Anita grabbed Mike's arm, furiously. "Get him off of him NOW!"

"I'm waiting for my turn," Mike grinned, ignoring Anita's unamused glare
and stepped to Rey. "Hey, Rey.  Get off him!" He grabbed Rey's arm and
tried to pull him off Krycek, but Rey yanked away, striking Krycek across
the face with the back of his hand.  Mike regripped his arm and flung Rey
back. He collapsed against the wall, chest heaving, eyes blazing with
unbridled fury and absolute despair. "Calm down, man.  Just take it easy."

With a rough sigh, Rey pushed a hand through his hair, wiping his
bleeding nose. "He tried to kill Faith," he whispered, huskily. "He
almost took her way from me."

Krycek coughed, violently and groaned with pain.  Mike glared at him.
"Shut up, you sneaky son of a bitch," he growled, leaning down. "And thank
God I didn't get my hands on you."

"Oh, yeah," Kelson said satirically, stepping into the room behind Van
Buren.  "This is gonna not make him stand out in a line-up."

He gestured at Krycek's bleeding face.  "What're ya'll gonna do...beat
up a couple of your own boys so that he blends in a line-up?"

Rey glared at him, anger still crackling in his face.  "And I suppose it
would be different if it had been your wife?"

Kelson glanced at him coolly.  "Damn straight.  The son of a bitch
wouldn't have made it this far alive."

Mike looked at Caitlin's partner, surprised by the vengeful tone.

Kelson caught the look and grinned.  "Like you didn't want to shoot
Tyler Ford when he tried to kill Cait?"

***

9:23 pm

"C'mon, Alex, you're screwed.  Face it.  We've got your fingerprints on
the car and a witness who can put you at the scene.  We're talking major
charges here.  Why don't you make it easy on yourself and tell us
exactly what you did," Kelson was using his best "I'm your friend, you can
trust me, you lying sneaky son of a bitch" tone.

Krycek glanced away and Kelson shoved down a quick flash of rage.  He
didn't have time for that.  He leaned back in the chair and glanced at
the one way glass, at the others he couldn't see but knew were there.  He
turned the pencil in his fingers with casual idleness.  "Y'know, Alex,
I'm kinda close to my partner.  You wouldn't know about that.  I've worked
with Mulder before, I know," this with a slight grin towards the window,
knowing Mulder could hear him.  "But I get a little annoyed when someone
tries to hurt her.  Now I know you weren't trying to get at Cait...she
just got in the way.  But you pissed me off," Kelson snapped the pencil
in half with one hand, showing little effort.  "Get my drift, Alex?"

Krycek looked at him coolly, face still bruised and bloodied.  "Yeah, I
got it."

"Good," Kelson nodded, leaning forward.  "So tell me why you did it."

"I'm not telling you anything," Krycek spat the words at the FBI agent,
and Kelson shoved up from the table angrily, stalking out of the room.

***

10:37 pm

"You're lying!" Mike shouted, nose to nose with Alex Krycek.  He felt a
grim satisfaction as he witnessed the flash of alarm in the younger
man's eyes.  "We know you did it, Krycek.  So what's the deal, huh?"

He leaned even closer, hands flat on the scarred table, menace in every
taut line of his body.  "You still wanted her, didn't you?" Mike's tone
had dropped considerably, softer, menacing.  "You saw her with this
other guy and it stuck in your gut and you decided that if you couldn't
have her then no one else should, right, Alex?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Krycek said coldly, meeting
Mike's gaze steadily, and Mike felt a vicious anger curl through his
chest and stomach.  Grabbing a handful of Krycek's shirt, he hauled him
out of the chair, shoving him hard against the wall.

"Listen to me, you son of a bitch," he snarled.  "That was my fiancee
with Faith that night.  You could have killed her-"

In the observation cubicle, Anita glanced at Lennie.  "Get him out of
there."

Watching, Mulder shook his head.  "That temper's going to get him a beat
on Staten Island one day."

Mike stepped into the cubicle, frustration making his face harsh.  "So
what are we doing with the bastard?"

Anita sighed.  "Arrest him and take him to booking.  And make sure you
read him his rights."

********

Continued in part seventeen.







From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:41:54 1997

Secrecy
by Jen Salonen and Linda Winfree

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
December 12
Thursday 11:01 pm

Caitlin threw the lock back and swung the door open, blinking sleepily
at Rey.  "Oh, hey," she said, covering a yawn.  "I dozed off."

Rey smiled slightly, figuring she probably needed to do more than doze.
"Faith okay?" he asked, the harsh planes of his face tight with anger
and exhaustion.

"Fine," Caitlin said, dropping back into the corner of the couch.
"Chloe's in the bed with her and they're both asleep."

Rey sat on the edge of the chair, eyeing the Bureau-issue Sig Sauer 9mm
that she'd put back on the coffee table.  Caitlin followed his gaze and
smiled wryly.  "I believe in being prepared," she stifled another yawn.
"Have they finished questioning Krycek yet?"

"Yeah," Rey said, rising to stalk tensely around the small room.  "But
the bastard won't talk."

"Rey," Caitlin smiled slightly, remembering the phone conversation she'd
had with Mike earlier, "if you beat the hell out of me, I doubt I'd talk
to you either."

He glanced at her, grinning briefly, but sobered quickly.  He stopped at
the window, staring into the darkness.  "Why her, Cait?" he asked
quietly, falling into using the now-familiar nickname.  "Why the hell
would he want to hurt Faith?"

Rey felt her fingertips on his shoulder, the touch soft and tentative.
He glanced down into green eyes that were dark with sympathy.  "Mike
didn't tell you?" she asked quietly, warily.

"Tell me what?" Rey felt a sense of foreboding travel through his body
like electricity.

"Who Krycek really is," Caitlin whispered, watching him.

"No, Mike didn't tell me," Rey said, with slight sarcasm.  "Who is he?"
he asked intently, unconsciously gripping her arms. Caitlin swallowed,
wincing slightly at the ruthlessness of his grip."Who is he?" Rey
demanded again, voice rising slightly with impatience.

"He's...he's Chloe's father...Faith's ex-husband," she whispered, almost
frightened by the intense hatred in his dark eyes.

Rey let her go so quickly that Caitlin staggered back a step, off
balance.  She backed off, watching him take in the news.  He covered his
eyes, chest heaving.  After a moment, he spoke, the intense fury in his
voice hardly stifled. "No.  You're wrong."

Caitlin moved towards him, carefully. "Rey," she said quietly, firmly.
"I'm not wrong.  I've seen her marriage certificate, Chloe's birth
records, their divorce decree.  Mulder has them if you want to see-"

"Why would I want to see that, Cait?" he exploded, removing his hand so
she could see his anxiety-ridden eyes. "She *wasn't* married to him!  She
wasn't married to *him*, do you understand?  You're *wrong*," he turned
back around, bracing his hands on either side of the window.

"Rey, please.  You've got to believe me.  He's a dangerous man, Rey.
He's going to keep hurting her, unless-" Caitlin pleaded, stepping towards
him. He turned around again, and Caitlin took a sharp breath as she saw
the tears mingling with outrage in his eyes.

"She-" his voice was soft and crackling, low with despair. "She would've
told me."

"Rey, nobody knew.  I didn't know.  Mike didn't know.  She didn't tell
anyone," Caitlin insisted, emphasizing the last word, trying to break
through his shield of denial.

"She would've told *me*," he growled. "She would've told me something
like this."

"She couldn't tell you, Rey," Caitlin whispered. "Don't you realize how
hard this must be for her to carry around?  His record, Rey...his record
is horrible.  The things he's done...she couldn't tell you.  That would
incriminate him-"

"So you're saying she still loves him?  Christ, Cait, where do you come
up with this bullshit?" Rey spat out and Caitlin bristled under his anger,
feeling her own temper rise to meet his.

"I'm saying he would come after her!" she growled back. "There are other
people like Alex Krycek out there, Rey.  We get him, there are others
out there. Maybe they won't be after her next time, but maybe they will.
And, dammit, if you don't believe me, you're putting Chloe's life in
danger-and Faith's. Think about it, Rey.  She has secrets.  You have
secrets.  Don't hold this kind of thing against her," the angry husky
voice had dropped to an intense whisper.

Rey sat on the couch, throwing a glance over his shoulder at the closed
bedroom door.  "Chloe's-Chloe's *his*," he chuckled, but any humor was
missing. "God....how can an angel like that be the daughter of something
like that?"  He shook his head, unable to express himself."Do you think
Chloe knows?"

Caitlin shrugged, tiredly. "I doubt it.  Maybe.  He's her father,
but...I don't know.  She probably doesn't remember him at all.  She hasn't
seen him for years and she was just a baby."

"Faith..." Rey turned dark eyes to her, rubbing his face for a moment.
"Faith was his before she was mine.  How could he want to kill her, Cait?
How could he love her then and want her dead now?  How could he want to
murder the mother of his child?"

"I don't know," she answered softly, turning her face away from him to
stare out the darkened window, seeing her own reflection distorted
there. "I guess some men just aren't cut out to be good father material."

The words were slightly sarcastic and held a lifetime of hurt.  Rey
picked up on the pain and glanced at her inquisitively.  "Cait?"

Caitlin glanced around at him, the familiar cool, professional Bureau
smile flitting across her face.  "Look, I'm going to heat up a can of
soup or something.  You've got to be starved and it wouldn't hurt Faith to
eat something either.  I'll be right back."

Rey watched her go, a speculative look in his eyes.  He always had the
feeling that his conversations with her were running on more than one
level.  That there was always a deeper meaning, something lurking
beneath the surface.  He wondered if it was just him, or if everyone felt
this way after talking to Caitlin Falconetti.  It disconcerted him, threw
him off base.

Hell, he thought, she probably did it on purpose.  But he suspected that
it was a self-protective habit.  The woman had more secrets locked away
than the Vatican.

Sighing, Rey turned to the closed door to Faith's bedroom.  He crossed
to it, turning the knob softly.  The door swung open silently, the light
from the living room spilling over his shoulder and illuminating the
mother and daughter who lay sleeping peacefully in the bed.  Faith had
curled her body protectively around her child and Rey's heart ached for
her, for the fear that she had lived with for so long.

And for himself, and the impossible situation that he'd found himself
in.

***

Apartment of Vince Falconetti
Annapolis, Maryland
Thursday 11:36 pm 

Vince Falconetti stared at the blinking cursor, swearing in frustration.
The words, which usually flowed so effortlessly, just wouldn't come.
Muscles bunching with coiled energy, he tapped his father's gold pen on
the desk blotter, trying to open the part of his mind where the words
lurked, waiting to be coaxed out.

The phone rang, the shrill beeping startling him and he jumped, reaching
for it. "Hello?"

"Don't hang up," Alex Krycek's voice said, low and secretive.

"What the hell do you want?" Vince hissed as he recognized his partner's
voice.  Krycek knew better than to contact him at home.  It was too
dangerous; there were too many people who could be listening.

"Not much," Krycek replied.  "Just your help."

"My help?" Vince's laugh was a bark of surprise.  "For the love of God,
what have you gotten into now?  And why should I help you?"

"Because I'm sitting here looking at your sister...and if you don't do
as I say, I'll tell her all of your dirty little secrets, Vincent."

A cold anger washed through Vince and he swore viciously under his
breath. "You lying bastard-"

"She's wearing jeans and a FBI polo shirt, Vince," Krycek's voice was
patient, waiting.  "She just walked in a few minutes ago with that
detective she's been shacking up with.  She's sitting at a desk, talking
to Ransome...and Mulder."

Vince's mind was clicking through the information.   Mulder?  What the
hell? Vince swore again, more audibly this time.  "Where are you,
Alex?" he asked quietly.  "And how exactly do you want my help?"

Krycek chuckled, hearing the acquiescense in Vince's voice.  "I'm being
transferred to Riker's, pending arraignment."

"And you want me to throw your bail," Vince finished for him, and both
men knew he wasn't talking about money.

"Knew I could count on you," Krycek laughed mockingly.

"Done," Vince said.  "I'll be there this afternoon.  But Alex-"

"Yeah?" Krycek's tone was belligerent.

"When I do this, I want you gone.  Permanently.  And I want you to stay
the hell away from my family!"

Krycek's triumphant laughter was still ringing in his ears when he hung
up the phone.  Sliding open the bottom drawer, he pulled out the sleek
little .380 with its silencer and went to get ready.

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
Friday 1:06 am

Dana Scully glanced down at Chloe's sleeping face.  The little girl lay
curled into the end of the sofa, having fallen asleep half-way through
"Muppets Treasure Island."  The dark curls framed the cherubic face and
Dana felt a sudden sharp stab of longing.

"I never imagined you as a mother."

Mulder's words drifted through her mind again.  She still couldn't
explain why they had hurt her so badly.  Or why she couldn't forget them.

Just as she couldn't, or wouldn't, delve into why the shattered look in
Mulder's eyes when he'd seen Joss in her living room the night her
relationship with Joss had ended had disturbed her so.  Mulder had been
hurt by Joss' presence and she'd known it.  A sudden spurt of anger burst
through her.  He had no right to be hurt.  It wasn't like he hadn't had
his own dalliances in the four years they'd been together.

Dana glanced up, her face showing no trace of her confusion, as Caitlin
quietly let herself back into the apartment.  A soft smile touched
Dana's lips as she saw Caitlin glance in the mirror by the door, a frown
crossing her face at the sight of her still-bruised face.  Caitlin
grimaced wryly as she felt Scully's amused gaze on her.  "So I'm a little
vain," Caitlin shrugged.  "Shoot me."

Scully laughed and an amused smile tilted the corners of Caitlin's lips.
Mulder entered the apartment softly, smiling slightly at the sound of
Scully's soft, sweet laughter.  It had been so long since he'd heard
that sound.

"Did I miss the joke?" he asked, looking from one woman to the other.

"No," Caitlin insisted wryly.  "Not at all.  What are you doing here?"

He grinned at her, although his eyes remained somber.  "I told you I'd
follow you anywhere, didn't I?"

Caitlin lifted her eyebrows at him skeptically.  "No, you didn't.  Must
have been some other brunette with green eyes and a gun."

He shrugged.  "I was just going to-"

"Leave before Rey gets back up here and freaks," Caitlin finished for him.
"Scully, take him somewhere, anywhere.  I'm not in the mood to deal with
one of Curtis' rages tonight."

Mulder opened his mouth to argue when the door to Faith's bedroom opened
and Faith appeared, dressed in her now standard uniform of a rumpled
t-shirt, her hair hanging limply around her drawn face.  "Cait, where's
Chloe-"

Caitlin was dumbfounded that she'd even left the room where she'd been
barricaded for the past two days.  She watched as Faith's eyes slid to
Mulder behind her and what little color there was in Faith's face
drained away.  "What is he doing here?" she hissed, looking at Caitlin
accusingly.

"Faith," he whispered, taking a step forward.  Caitlin put out a hand,
the gesture stopping him at her side.

"He's helping us," Caitlin said simply, her voice firm.  A vitriolic
anger flared in Faith's brown eyes.  "I told you that."

"I don't want him here," she spat and Caitlin winced silently, watching
as
Mulder's eyes darkened with pain.  God knows...

Caitlin looked at Scully pleadingly and the petite redhead stood, taking
her partner's arm.  "Let's go, Mulder.  Now."

Unwillingly, he allowed Scully to lead him from the apartment.  Caitlin
glanced at Faith's pale, tense face.  "Was it really necessary to treat
him like that?  It isn't his fault, Faith.  None of it."

Faith glared at her, her face darkening with anger.  "So now you're
taking his side?"

"What side?" Caitlin sighed in frustration, running a hand through her
hair.  "I'm not taking sides, Faith.  But he doesn't deserve to be
treated like that.  He's here to help you."

Faith turned away, voice cold.  "Why are you so concerned with his
feelings anyway?  I thought you said it was over between you two."

"And it has been for years," Caitlin said patiently.  "I hate what the
two of you do to each other..."

Faith felt like she was out of control, teetering on the brink of a
deep, black abyss.  And at that moment, she almost hated Caitlin for that
damned self-control of hers.  She felt a need to strike out at the other
woman, as she had at Rey and Mulder and Mike.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" she asked, her voice steady, eyes averted
from Caitlin's face.  "Because he loved me, and he didn't love you."

Caitlin stared at her for a moment.  "Faith," she said, disbelief
ringing in her voice.  "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Hell, Cait, for all I know, maybe you still want him.  Maybe that's why
you call him in on a case whenever you get a chance.  Keeping your
options open, Cait?"

Biting down hard on the inside of her lip until she tasted blood,
Caitlin stifled the sudden urge to slap her, reminding herself of
everything that Faith had lost.  Remembering how Sheila had been.
Understanding the loss only too well herself.  When she finally spoke, her
voice was frigidly cold.  "You know how I feel about Mike, Faith.  And
believe or not, I can understand how you feel-"

"No, you don't!" Faith felt something snap and she screamed the words at
Caitlin.  "You can't!  You had a choice, Cait.  You got to choose
whether your baby lived or died-"

Caitlin felt her emotions shut down as Faith's angry words penetrated
her consciousness.  She forgot everything Faith had been through,
everything she'd learned about the grief process.  "You bitch!" she spat,
an icy fire kindling in her eyes.  "How can you say that to me?  How can
you stand there and *say* that to me?  You can have another baby, Faith-"

And Faith slapped her.

And Caitlin stared at her, still feeling nothing but the anger that
sparked between them.  And without a word, she left, slamming the door
behind her.

Rey and Mike were coming up the stairs, faces drawn and exhausted.
"Cait?' Mike asked softly, recognizing the anger that raged in her eyes.
Her face was pale and Caitlin knew the imprint of Faith's hand had to be
visible against her skin.

"I'm not going back up there," she said quietly, firmly.

Mike nodded, cupping her face gently, his thumb running over the angry
red mark as Rey stared.  "I mean it, Mike," she said, her voice breaking
and the tears flowing against her will.  "I can't- not tonight."  She
leaned into him suddenly and, surprised, wrapped his arms around her,
rocking her gently.  Rey watched them, wanting to hold Faith, and Mike
caught his eye, jerking  his head towards Faith's apartment.

Rey nodded, starting up the stairs, leaving them standing there, Caitlin
weeping as though her heart had broken into the curve of Mike's neck as
he held her.
********

To be continued in part eighteen.









From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:43:08 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake


***

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
New York City
Friday 1:46 am

"You were arguing about Mulder?" Mike asked, voice tight, as he followed
her into the bedroom.

Caitlin glanced at him as she tossed the covers back on the bed.  "Yeah.
Is that a problem?"  She lifted her eyebrows at him.

"No, Cait, that's not a problem," he replied sarcastically, jerking his
tie off.  "Not at all."

"Are you jealous?" she asked incredulously, placing her palms flat
against his chest and pushing him lightly onto the bed.

"Me?" he laughed, leaning back on his arms and watching her as she
straddled his thighs, her knees hugging his hips.  "Jealous of Fox
Mulder? No way."

Caitlin smiled at him, unbuttoning his white dress shirt.  "You," she
said, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, "have nothing to worry
about.  Mulder was a long time ago."

She kissed the other corner of his mouth.  "You're the man I'm in love
with.  The one who still makes my stomach drop when you walk in the
room." Mike grinned and Caitlin kissed him again, the tip of her tongue
tracing his bottom lip.  "The one I'm going to marry."

Mike laughed skeptically.  "Oh, sure.  When?"

She swatted him with playful exasperation.  "Look, Logan, its not my
fault that your partner's ex-husband came back from the dead and-"

Mike pulled her down onto her back, leaning over her, his eyes staring
into hers.  "When this is all over with, you are going to marry me."

Caitlin stared back at him, a smile touching the curve of her mouth.
"Yes," she whispered.  "Yes, I am."  She very gently traced the bruise
on the bridge of his nose.  She linked her hands behind his head, pulling
him down to her.  "Besides," she whispered against his mouth.  "There's
always New Year's Eve."

***

New York County Court House
New York City
Friday 12:38 pm


"Not guilty," Alex Krycek said sullenly.

"Your honor," Claire Kincaide began, "The people request that the
defendant be remanded without bail...he's the primary suspect in the
previous kidnapping of his daughter, he's charged with two counts of
attempted murder and the people believe he is a flight risk-"

"Done," Judge Sanchez said, smashing the gavel down on the desk.
"Defendant is remanded to custody without bail pending trial.  Attorneys
check with the court clerk for the calendar."

Krycek didn't move his cold brown eyes from Claire's gaze as the
bailiff escorted him from the courtroom.  In the small ante-room, the
bailiff handed him over to the transporting officer.  "Let's go, buddy,"
the officer said roughly, shoving Alex towards the door.  Alex regarded
him coldly, impersonally.

The two men went out through the back exit, down the steps.  Alex could
see the second guard sitting in the driver's seat of the nondescript
white van, his head propped on one arm against the window.

Where the hell was Falconetti?

If that bastard had stood him up...left him twisting in the wind...

The guard didn't even glance at his partner, just reached around Krycek
to open the back door of the van and shoved Alex into the confines of the
vehicle.

Alex saw a brief blur of motion as Vince Falconetti shoved him out of
the way and pushed the automatic, with its black silencer, into the
guard's chest, pulling the trigger.  One black gloved hand went over the
guard's mouth to smother his surprised cry as the bullet crashed into his
body, stopping his heart almost immediately.

Vince glanced at his former partner, grinning coldly, as he pulled the
dead man's body into the van.  Alex almost recoiled from the demonic
look in Vince's eyes, the one that had always scared the hell out of him.
He threw a wild look towards the front of the vehicle, where the first
guard sat.

"Relax," Vince said sardonically, lighting a cigarette after pulling the
van door shut.  "He's dead.  A broken neck tends to do that to a guy."

Fishing in his jeans' pocket, he pulled Krycek up roughly, removing the
handcuffs.  He nudged a black bag in Alex's direction with his foot,
staring at Alex's bruised face.  "What the hell happened to you?"

Alex unzipped the bag, withdrawing a uniform shirt identical to the one
the dead man on the floor was wearing, noticing for the first time that
Vince was similarly dressed.  "I ran into a door," Alex growled
sarcastically, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Yeah, sure," Vince said, clearly unconvinced.  "And I'm a nice guy."

***

27th Precinct
New York City
Friday 2:03 pm

"What do you mean he escaped?" Mike yelled into the phone and several
detectives turned in his direction, Rey and Lennie included.  He ignored
them, listening to Kelson Ransome's hard, angry voice on the phone.  He
slammed the phone down without warning, cursing viciously.

"What?" Rey asked impatiently, a sudden fear churning low in his
abdomen.

"Krycek escaped," Mike growled, picking the receiver up again and
punching in Caitlin's cellular number, praying she was at Faith's.  He
listened to the phone ring as he met Rey's burning dark eyes.  "They found
the van twenty minutes ago...both guards dead inside.  He's gone."

"Son of a bitch!" Rey slammed away from the desk, pacing between the
desks.

"C'mon, Cait, answer the damned phone," Mike muttered as it continued to
ring.

Finally, her husky voice picked up.  "Yes?"

"Cait?" he asked, trying to keep the panicked worry out of his voice.
"Where are you?"

"I'm at Faith's, waiting for Rana to get back.  Why?"

"Krycek escaped.  Rey and I are on our way, but lock the doors and for
God's sake be careful til we get there..."

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
Friday 3:02 pm

"How the hell did this happen?" Caitlin asked in a hissed whisper as she
met the two men at the front door, glancing at Faith's closed bedroom
door.

"Where's Chloe?" Rey asked, ignoring her question.

Caitlin pointed to the couch, where Chloe was napping.  "You think I was
going to let her out of my sight?"

"You didn't tell Faith did you?" Mike asked, glancing down at her.

Caitlin raised her eyebrows at him.  "No.  She's lying down while
Chloe's sleeping. Mike," she said, moving closer to him, "what happened?"

"He had to have help, Cait," Mike whispered.  "They found the guards,
one shot, the other with a broken neck.  He couldn't have done this on his
own.  Someone had to be waiting in the van."

Caitlin nodded, trying to suppress the tendril of fear that curled
through her. "So he's out there again..."

"Yeah," Mike said softly, watching her struggle with the fear and
pulling her against him with one arm.  He held her close for a moment,
his lips gently moving against her temple.  "Waiting."

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
December 18
Thursday 7:54 pm

Rey dropped his jacket tiredly onto the couch, unbuttoning his cuffs,
sighing. Loosening his tie, he poured himself a drink and walked softly
towards Chloe's bedroom, opening the door.  The little girl stirred under
the Lion King blanket, thumb settled in her mouth. He smiled, glancing at
the closed door, where MTV was blaring.  Carefully, he knocked on the
door, listening.

"Go away," came the cold reply.

"Faith," he said, opening the door, leaning in.  Faith lay across her
bed, eating microwave popcorn.  She glanced at him, her eyes cold and
reproachful, a look he had hated for so long. She was dressed in a t-shirt
that was hiked around her hips, her bare legs waving lazily in the air.
She brushed her black hair from where it curled into her dark, tight face
as she glared at him.

"I said, go away,"

"Faith, I need to talk to you," he said, nervously, setting his glass on
the dresser and pushing a pile of dirty  clothes from the chair that was
wedged in the corner.  She tossed an ugly look in his direction and
chomped on another mouthful of popcorn, staring at the television.  He
sighed, watching the images that flashed like bombs on the screen. "Faith,
can you turn that off?"

She didn't reply and he huffed an annoyed sigh, heaving up and smacking
off the TV. "Look, I need to talk to you.  I don't care if you talk, but
you're going to listen." He drew in a breath, despising the dark look in
her eyes, remembering back when he dreamed of those warm, beautiful eyes.
"I'm going home for a few days.  Isabel's sick and Deb needs to go to work
and she can't afford a sitter."

The look of shock struck him hard as she sat up, staring at him. "You're
what?"

"Faith, it's only for a few days.  I'll come by during the day," he
said, standing up, surprised at the look of absolute abandonment floated
in her eyes. He knelt beside  the bed, touching her arm. "I swear,
I'll-"

"What the hell?" she said, tearing away from him and scrambling off the
bed.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Faith, you're
overreacting."

"I am NOT!  What the hell am I to you?  The minute she wants you back,
you go running back into her arms!  What was I?  A good lay?" she
shrieked, tears of rage beginning to flow down her cheeks.

"Faith, stop it!" he hollered, moving around the bed.  She moved away,
climbing onto the bed, looking like a trapped animal. "I LOVE you!  You
KNOW I love you!"

"That's what you say!" she screamed, climbing off the bed, her back
against the door. "You don't mean it!  You never meant it!"

"Faith, you're being ridiculous!"  Rey said, rubbing his eyes. "My kids.
I miss my kids so much and the divorce would be so hard on them.  I don't
want to screw up my girls like-"

He stopped suddenly and Faith glared at him, her breath caught in her
throat.  "Like what, Rey?  Like I've screwed up Chloe?"

"No, Faith," he said, shakily, the hatred in her voice frightening him.
"I love Chloe.  And I love you.  You love me, too, Faith.  You know you
do.  You know I love you, too!"

"You DON'T love me!" Her eyes were blazing and she sobbed, broken-
heartedly. "If you loved me, WE would've still been together.  WE would
still have my baby.  If you loved me, you would've wanted this baby!  You
would've wanted ME!"

"STOP IT!" he screamed, her allegations twisting painfully in his
stomach. "You're not making any sense!  For Christ's sake, Faith!  Don't
you hear what you're saying?  You don't mean any of it!  Just CALM down!"

"I MEAN IT!" she shrieked, picking up a glass from her dresser and
heaving it at him.  It landed on the floor and shattered at his feet. "You
DID this to me!  I HATE YOU!  Go back to your wife, you lying son of a
bitch!"

Rey looked at her, raw emotions blazing in his silky eyes. "Faith-"

"I said, GO!" she screamed, her chest heaving.

He stormed from her bedroom and she followed him, her eyes filled with
murderous tears in her eyes.  He pulled on his jacket, violently, looking
at her, pleadingly. "Faith, you know I love you.  Don't do this."

She hugged herself, shivering.  Tears dripped down her cheeks. "But I
don't love you," she whispered. "It's your fault...you don't want to be
with me..."

He slammed open the door and glared back at her. "Maybe Caitlin can deal
with you, Faith.  But I can't take this anymore," his eyes graced her
face, tenderly, his bottom lip trembling. "Good-bye, Faith,"

She stared at him, sinking onto the couch as the door slammed, sobs
shaking through her.  She sobbed into the couch cushions until blessed,
dreamless sleep took over.

********

To be continued in part nineteen.


From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:44:29 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake

***

FBI Offices
New York City
December 19
Friday 9:46 am

Caitlin sighed as she sipped her coffee, staring aimlessly at the phone.
She should really call Rey.  Make sure Faith was okay.  Remembering the
hateful things Faith had screamed at her made Caitlin's cheeks flush with
renewed anger.  She had felt the pain and confusion Faith was battling
through and it scared her. The words Faith had spat at her had hurt her
deeply, and Faith rightly deserved whatever pain she was going through for
lashing out so violently.  They were *friends*.  Caitlin had been there
for her since the beginning...well, except for the last four or five days
when she'd let Mike call and check on her.  She was still smarting from
that last scene.

So she'd packed Mulder and Scully back off to Washington, with a promise
to call Mulder if she thought Faith needed anything.  Like she knew what
Faith needed.  But, in a way, she did know.  Faith needed support and
understanding and...

She sighed, rubbing her eyes with frustration.  And she needed to be
with her until this nightmare was over.  Sheila had warned her about the
phases Faith would go through, what to expect.  She should've expected
this.  She should've understood.  With a sigh, Caitlin picked up the phone
and dialed Faith's number. It rang forever and she hung up, a small prick
of worry warming in her stomach. She dialed again and let it ring.  The
prick of apprehension grew until finally someone picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Faith's voice startled her and Caitlin caught her breath. "Faith?
Faith, where's Rey?"

A hitching sob rolled over the telephone and Caitlin stood up, pulling
on her coat. "Cait," Faith whispered, shakily. "Cait, he's gone.  He went
back to his wife.  He left me.  He's gone.  He's..."

The fear exploded into seething anger. "Faith," Caitlin said,
soothingly. "Faith, I'll be right over.  Do you hear me?"  She heard a
muffled noise and took it for a yes. "It's-It's going to be all right,
Faith.  I'll be right there.  Hold on, okay?"  Caitlin slammed down the
phone and sprinted out the door, silently praying that everything would be
all right.

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
new York City
Friday 10:07 am

Fear fluttered in Caitlin's stomach as she hurried up the three flights
of stairs.  Faith's voice had been so empty, yet it had been full of
complete despair.  Out of breath, mostly from what she feared she might
find in the apartment, she leaned heavily on the doorknob, opening the
door softly.

The first thing to greet her was the sharp bite of a burning cigeratte.
She swallowed hard. "Faith?"

After eons of silence, there was a rustle from the couch and Caitlin
crept over, sighing with relief.  Faith lay face down on the couch, cheek
against the cushion, a burning cigarette dropping it's ashes into a full
ashtray that lay on the floor.  Tears streamed endlessly down her face and
Caitlin removed her coat, kneeling down beside her friend, touching her
hand. "Faith? Faith, are you all right?"

Faith nodded, but at the same time burst into renewed tears. "Why
doesn't he love me anymore, Cait?"

"Shhhh," Caitlin whispered, softly smoothing the damp hair from her
face, stroking her forehead. "It's okay, Faith."

"No, it's-it's not, Cait," Faith stammered through her sobs. "If he
loved me, he wouldn't of left me.  He went-He went back to his *wife*,"
her voice cracked and Caitlin climbed onto the couch, worriedly.  Faith
cried harder, burying her face in her hands. "I feel like a whore," she
sobbed, muffled. "My parents were right, Caitlin.  Everyone's right.  I
*am* a slut.  Look at me!" she shrieked, tearing her hands away from her
face. "My daughter has a father who kidnapped her and tried to *kill* me.
I slept with your boyfriend, I slept with *Mulder*," she gasped for air,
desperately. "The man I love treated me like a goddamn *prostitute* and as
soon as he couldn't sleep with me anymore he went back to his wife!  It's
all crap, Cait.  Everything he ever told me was a lie. He never wanted to
get married.  All he wanted was the sex," she shuddered, her
voice scratching with exhausted emotion. "He never wanted *me*.  He
never wanted *us*.  God, how could I be so fucking blind?"

"Faith," Caitlin's voice trembled, her hands shaking. "Faith, you're so
wrong. No one thinks of you like that.  You're not a slut, do you
understand? You're *not*.  I know Rey loves you.  I'm sure he does.  He
just...he needed some time to himself.  He was wrong to leave you.  You
did nothing wrong."

"Don't *you* understand?" Faith sobbed. "This is *my* fault.  I drove
him away. I pushed everyone away from me.  Oh, god, oh, god..." she
trailed off, turning water-logged eyes up to Caitlin. "Oh, my god.
Caitlin.  Oh, god, I'm sorry. What I said, I didn't mean it.  I swear,"
she broke into fresh sobs again. "You hate me now, don't you?  You hate me
like everybody else.  I've driven everyone away.  Oh, my god.  What have I
done, Cait?"

"Listen to me, Faith," Caitlin said, sternly. "None of this is your
fault.  No one hates you, me especially.  If I hated you, would I be here
right now?" She leaned down and stubbed out Faith's cigarette. "I thought
you were trying to quit," she smiled, teasingly, at Faith. Faith almost
returned it, wiping her eyes, eye-lids drooping.  Caitlin put her arms
around her friend and hugged her tightly for a moment. "It's going to be
all right, Faith.  I promise," she let her go and helped her up. "Now, I'm
going to call Rana and she'll stay with you for awhile, okay?  I'll be
back for lunch.  Why don't you go to bed?"

Faith nodded feebly as Caitlin helped her to her bed.  Sliding beneath the
sheets, Faith gazed up at her friend as Caitlin situated the rumpled
covers around her.

"Cait?" she asked, softly.

Caitlin smiled and smoothed back Faith's hair, eyes sad. "What?"

Faith smiled, closing her eyes, exhaustedly. "You're going to make a
wonderful mother someday.  Thanks."

Caitlin felt tears spring to her eyes as she stared down at the sleeping
woman, the tired, aching lines of her face disappearing.  She backed out
the door and hugged herself, her heart aching again.

***

27th Precinct
New York City
Friday 11:01 am

The classic Falconetti temper was seething through every tight inch of
her face, and Caitlin knew it.

She was angry as hell.

Storming into the squad room, her dark green eyes focused on the back of
Rey Curtis' head.  He didn't look particularly happy this morning; his
forehead in his hands.  She stopped behind him, swallowing the bitter
disgust before she spoke. "Detective Curtis?  May I see you in the IR for
a moment?"

Rey turned around, tiredly giving her an exhausted glare. "I'm busy,"

Caitlin matched his look, seeing the brief nervousness flare in his dark
eyes. "I don't care," she said, voice low and dangerous. "I need to talk
to you. Now."

Lennie's eyes flicked at his partner, a half-amused look on his face,
masked by a look of pure seriousness. "I'll watch the phone, Rey.  Don't
worry about it."

Rey threw a exasperated look at Lennie and stood up, cautiously,
following Caitlin slowly into the IR.  He hesitated outside, but the
murderous look in her eyes and he stepped in.  Caitlin regarded him,
coldly. "Shut the door."

He sighed and shut it, turning back to face her.  She stepped towards him,
voice a mass of frustration and fury. "You selfish son of a bitch," she
growled, icily. "I called there this morning.  Faith picked up, sounding
like she'd been run over like a truck, after the second time I tried, on
the thirty-fourth ring.  So I go over there, and she's a wreck."  Caitlin
knew that at that moment she could have literally killed Rey Curtis if
she knew she could get away with it.  "So what was it, Rey?  Fun while
it lasted?  I'll call you?"

Rey almost flinched from the distaste in her voice as anger rose in him.
"You don't know what you're talking about."

Caitlin laughed shortly, a harsh, bitter sound.  "Don't I?  I get paid
to read people for a living, Detective Curtis.  And right now I'm reading
you loud and clear," her husky voice was contemptuous.  "God, you are a
bastard, Rey.  String her along, tell her you love her-"

"I do love her!" he growled, eyes burning with a dark fury.

Caitlin ignored the outburst.  "And ripping her heart out wasn't enough
for you, was it, Rey?  No, you had to rub salt in the wound, didn't you,
Rey?"  Caitlin's voice dropped to a whisper, a hiss that dripped with
venom.  "Why, Rey?  Did it make you feel more like a man?"

Speechless with anger, Rey shoved his clenched hands in his pockets and
turned away from her.  "Look at me," Caitlin said in a low, hard voice.
"Look at me, Rey.  And remember what you've done to Faith."  Her green
eyes glittered coldly as she met his dark eyes.  "Remember how you've
ruined her life, Rey."

She stepped away from him as though she was afraid to be contaminated by
his presence, her eyes filled with loathing.  "God knows, Rey," she said
with quiet contempt as she opened the door, "she would have been better
off with Mulder."

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
December 25th
Thursday 7:23 AM

"Mommy?"

The soft voice whispered through the dreamless depths of Faith's sleep.
She mumbled and rolled over, pulling the covers closer.

"Mommy?" a soft, feather light tapping on her bare arm. "Mommy, wake up!
Santa came!"

Faith's eyes fluttered open, squinting at her daughter in drowsy
confusion. "What?"

"It's Christmas!" Chloe scrambled up next to her mother, bubbling with
excitement. "Santa brought me toys!"

Santa.  Something dawned in Faith's eyes.  It was Christmas Day.  God,
she had completely forgotten.  Their little tree had gone up when Rey was
still with them, covered with tiny white lights and the scarce amount of
ornaments Faith had acquired, several of Chloe's identical "Baby's First
Christmas" ornaments hung on the branches, along with paper and yarn
inventions, covered with glitter, that Chloe had created in Day Care.
Only one was Faith's.  It was a glass sphere, with the Jefferson Monument
inside.  It had been her father's, probably over 40 years old.  How could
she have forgotten Christmas?

And how had Santa come?

"Are you sure, honey?" she asked, sitting up, sliding her legs over the
side of the bed.  Chloe grabbed her mother's hands and pulled, anxiously.

"Yes, Mommy!  Come on!" Chloe dragged her mother through the mess of
clothes, out the bedroom and into the living room, which Faith greeted
with a gasp of surprise.

Presents were piled beneath the tree, wrapped colorfully, each adorned
with a label, reading "Chloe" in bold, dark handwriting.  Faith wandered
in, sinking to her knees beside the tree, picking up a small,
brightly-wrapped gift, touching the small tag, fingers trembling.

Rey's handwriting.

She sat back, tears leaping to her eyes.  Anger and humiliation, mixed
with need and longing choked her and she blinked, rapidly, damning
herself.  She wouldn't ruin Chloe's Christmas with her.  Her daughter was
staring at her with wide, innocent dark eyes, mouth turned down in a
frightened frown at the tears in her mother's eyes. "Mommy," she
whispered, worriedly. "Mommy, can I please open them?"

With a breath of fierce love, Faith clutched her child to her, hugging
her with desperate affection. "I love you, sweetie," she whispered, tears
clinging to the strands of Chloe's hair. "I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to
forget.  I'll always love you...okay?"

Chloe managed to embrace her mother, wiggling with eagerness. "Okay,
Mommy.  Now can I PLEASE open presents?  Please, please, *please*?" She
giggled as Faith held her, tickling her, throwing back her head and
crowing with laughter, a sound Faith hadn't heard in a long time.  Her
daughter giggling, laughing, playing with her.  Chloe's little fingers
stuck into her mother's ribs and tickled back, happy when her mother
laughed.  Faith opened her mouth and laughed out loud, as she and her
daughter rolled on the rug, tickling and laughing.

Happiness pushed the loneliness and despair from her body as Chloe
ripped eagerly into her presents, shrieking with happiness as she held up
shiny new toys, throwing the paper over her shoulder, chucking ribbons at
her mother. The wrapped presents soon became a heap of empty boxes and
crinkled wrapping paper.
 
Chloe yawned with exhaustion, laying her head against her mother's
thigh. "Mommy, there's one more present."

Faith stroked the dark hair, smoothing it, softly. "Well, open it,
sleepy head."

Chloe shook her head, tiny pink mouth opening in a yawn. "No...it's for
you.  It says your name on it.  Not Chloe," she closed her eyes and sighed
as her mother moved away, peering under the tree.  A small, square, dark
blue-papered box sat under the tree.  Faith reached for it, looking at it,
carefully.  Rey's handwriting was scrawled on the small white tag.
Gently, she eased off the wrapping, fingers feeling numb with nervousness.
Opening the white box that was wrapped in the paper, she took a sharp
intake of breath.  A glittering strand of gold lay on the dark velvet.
She touched it, running her finger beneath it in awe.  It was absolutely
beautiful.  Pulling up the velvet, she removed the necklace, gently.  A
note fell into her lap and she picked it up, curiously.

"Faith," it read, "I know that we're apart today, but I wanted you to
know, really know, that I love you so much.  I know you still care about
me, no matter how hard you try to deny it.  Please wear this if you feel 
anything for me. Someday we'll be able to be together.  I promise.  I love
you."  His scrawled signature blurred as a lone tear slipped onto the
paper, hitting the black ink.
 
She covered her face and sobbed, quietly.  After a moment, with
trembling hands, she fastened the necklace around her neck, feeling the
cool chain against her neck.

And wept.

For what she lost.  For what could have been.

For what she was sure she could never have.

********

Continued in part twenty.










From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:50:31 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake

***

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
New York City
Christmas
Thursday 7:43 pm

Caitlin sighed, leaning against the doorjam, and Mike smiled down at her
as he unlocked the door.  Pushing it open, he hooked an arm around her
neck and pulled her close, kissing her soundly.  "It's been a really
long day," he chuckled against her mouth, which was still cold from the
chilly wind and tasted vaguely of coffee and cinnamon.  He drew her with
him into the foyer.

"Oh, poor baby...I suppose we could go to bed early," she whispered
mischievously, her lips sliding along his jaw.  He was still backing
them towards the living room.  Caitlin looped her arms around his waist,
laughing softly into the front of his leather coat.  "What are you
doing?"

Mike kissed her again, long and slow and warmly.  "Kissing you under the
mistletoe," he murmured and Caitlin pressed closer, turning her face up
to his again.  But Mike pulled back, glancing up at the small bundle of
mistletoe that hung above them, tied with a bright red ribbon.  "Looks
like Santa left you a little something extra."

Caitlin watched as he reached up and tugged the mistletoe down.  "Santa?
Sure.  I was five when Joss informed me there wasn't a Santa..." her
voice trailed off as he held the sprig in front of her eyes and she saw
what dangled from the red ribbon.  The oval opal, her birthstone, was
flanked by four small diamonds, and set into a delicate gold band.
"Mike," she whispered, touching it softly as it sparkled and glowed.
"It's lovely."

He released the ring from the ribbon, slipping it easily onto the ring
finger of her right hand.  "Like it?" he asked, a cocky grin lighting
his face.

"What do you think?" she smiled and he moved quickly, sliding an arm
beneath her knees to swing her up in his arms.  She laughed, surprised,
her hands gripping his shoulders.

Mike dipped his head, smothering her laughter with a quick kiss.
"So...are you still gonna marry me even after spending a whole day with my
family?" he teased, but Caitlin caught an underlying note of seriousness
in his voice.

"Oh...I think so," she replied, earnestly hoping he wouldn't drop her this
time.  

"When?" he asked,  his voice muffled as he nuzzled at her throat.

Caitlin sighed in mock disgust, wriggling a little as the warmth from his
touch zapped through her.  "I thought we settled this...New Year's Eve."

Startled, she yelped as he suddenly set her on her feet and headed for her
desk.  "Mike, what are you doing?"

He grinned back at her, waving a pen and a sheet of paper.  "I want it in
writing."

***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
Friday 12:16 pm

"Faith," Caitlin sighed again, tapping on the bedroom door.  She'd come by
to bring Faith some lunch, and she really needed to talk to her.  And
Faith was barricaded in the bedroom again. "Faith, would you come out of
there please?  I want to talk to you."

The door opened slowly and Faith blinked at her, rubbing her eyes.  She
walked to the couch and dropped down on it tiredly.  "Where's Chloe?" she
asked dully.

"Rana took her to the park," Caitlin replied, sitting on the coffee table
in front of her.  "She left you a note.  Look, Faith, I need a favor."

Faith looked at her strangely.  "What kind of favor?"

Caitlin swallowed, linking her fingers together in her lap.  "I need a
maid of honor."

Faith glanced up at her quickly, a light dawning in her dull eyes.  "Are
you and Mike..." she began with real excitement, stammering a little.
"When?"

"New Year's Eve."  Caitlin shifted a little uncomfortably.  "I know this
is a little sudden, especially-"

"No, no, I wouldn't miss this for the world!"  Faith leaned forward to hug
Caitlin tightly.  "Of course I'll stand up with you.  Oh, God, I'm so
excited!"  She hugged herself and sobered, looking up at Caitlin.  "Are
you sure you want me to do it?  I mean, Sheila's your cousin and you have
friends from Texas-"

"Faith," Caitlin said patiently, "of course I'm sure.  You're my best
friend.  And Mike's partner.  I couldn't think of anyone I'd rather have
with me."

Faith squealed happily with laughter, her eyes glowing, and stamped her
feet excitedly.  "Oh, I can't wait!"  She looked at Caitlin suddenly as a
thought struck her.  "God, what am I going to wear?"

Caitlin laughed and hugged her tightly, happy to have her back again.

***

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
December 31
Wednesday 4:02 pm

Caitlin leaned towards the mirror, sliding the loose pin back into her
upswept hair.  "Is he still pacing?"

Faith laughed softly, and Caitlin met her eyes in the mirror with a rueful
smile.  "Probably."

There was a light rap on the door and Caitlin sighed again. "He's afraid
I'll back out."

Faith stood suddenly, grinning.  "Okay, so you're sure you've got
everything?  You know, old, new, borrowed, blue?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes.  "Got it covered.  Suit, garter, my grandmother's
earrings, and Deena's lucky sixpence."

Faith hugged her quickly.  "I don't think you need luck.  I'm so happy for
you," she kissed Caitlin's cheek lightly, her eyes wet.  "You deserve to
be happy, Caitlin."  She drew back to look at her friend.  "You look
lovely."

Mike knocked again, and Caitlin groaned.  "Would you let him in before he
breaks it in?"

Faith opened the door with a playfully reproving look.  "You know you're
not supposed to see her before the ceremony."

Mike grinned down at her devilishly.  "I did more than see her this
morning-"

"Mike-"  Caitlin's voice held a low warning, and Faith slipped out of the
bedroom as Mike stepped inside, pushing the door shut behind him.  He
stood just inside the door, gazing at her.  "You're beautiful."

Caitlin glanced at him, taking in the dark suit, the striped shirt, and
the ever-present plaid tie.  "You don't look so bad yourself," she smiled.  

"Cait," he cupped her face lightly.  "I just want you to know..." he
swallowed, hard.  "I love you."

She smiled, the expression radiant.  "I know."

Mike linked his arms around her waist, glancing at the clock.  "C'mon,
Falconetti, let's go do it."

Caitlin grinned at him, stepping away.  "Now why do I feel like I've heard
that from you before?"

Mike laughed and swatted her lightly on the bottom as they left the room.

***

The Three Witches Restaurant
New York City
December 31
Wednesday 7:13 pm

"I'm going to kill him," Caitlin whispered in Mike's ear, trying to keep
a smile on her face.  "He knows I hate a lot of fuss and I'm going to
shoot him...with his own gun."

Mike grinned, his arm around her waist.  "Relax.  Fifteen more minutes
and we can slip out, like a couple of anxious newlyweds."

Caitlin looked at him drily.  "Mike, I think everyone knows I already
slept with you.  Anxious might be a little hard to believe."

He pulled her closer, his lips close to her ear.  "No, anxious is the
right word.  Trust me," he chuckled.

Across the room, Faith checked her watch surrepticiously for the third
time in ten minutes.  She wondered how much longer she should wait
before slipping out, to go home and lick her wounds in solitude, like a
wounded animal.  Thankfully, as wedding receptions went, this one was
incredibly small.  A handful of FBI agents, some detectives from the
precinct, a few friends of the newlyweds.

"She's going to kill me for this," Kelson's voice behind her startled
her and she turned to find him, grinning, his blue, blue eyes filled with
their usual irrepressible humor.

'Probably," Faith answered, glancing at Mike and Caitlin.  "She really
hates being the center of attention.  But it was a nice idea, Kel."

"What, you think I did this to be nice and sentimental?" he laughed.
"I'll deny it to the grave.  Besides, I figured, if she couldn't have
the type of wedding Troupe would have thrown her, this would be a pretty
memory to pull out later."

Faith stared at him, struck by the almost poetic nature of his words.
"She's really special to you, isn't she?"

"Family, Faith," he smiled.  "She's family."

Faith nodded, familiar with the feeling.  She and Mike had gotten to
that point.  Kelson grinned at her again before wandering off to find
Sheila. They were sans infant tonight, having left Abby with her nanny,
and as Faith watched, the tall FBI agent slipped his arms around his wife,
hugging her quickly.  The brief embrace was poignantly normal, reminding
Faith of all she didn't have.  Of everything that she had lost.

And she ached anew for that loss.

He was here.  Alone.  At least he hadn't brought Deborah.  And she'd
been avoiding those dark eyes, which reminded her of liquid silk, all
night. She didn't want to see him.

To love him.

So she'd smiled at her partner and her friend, congratulated them, and
ignored Caitlin's all to knowing eyes on her.  She didn't want Cait to
spend her wedding night worrying about her.

So she'd smiled, and laughed, and talked, nursing one flute of amber
champagne all night, watching the single strawberry drown in the
sparkling alcohol.

And still he watched her.

"...leaving," Mike's deep voice carried over to her and she heard dimly
the good natured ribbing he was receiving, heard his laughing reply but
the words didn't register.

"Wait, you can't go yet," Deena Morgan protested.  "You've got to toss
the bouquet and garter first."

Caitlin glanced at Mike, shaking her head.  "Deena, the garter's not a
problem.  But the bouquet..."

She indicated the small corsage of blush rosebuds that were pinned to
the collar of her ivory jacket.  Deena smiled.  "Got it covered, Cait,"
she produced a small nosegay of silk flowers from one of the tables.

"You're all hopeless," Caitlin sighed but grinned at Mike anyway as
Deena organized the single women into a small group.  Faith frowned as
Deena insisted she join the others, and Caitlin shook her head at her, a
<c'mon, Faith, let's get this over with> look in her eyes.

"Deena, your liability insurance covers any injuries if they fight over
it, right?" Mike joked as Caitlin turned her back and, closing her eyes,
tossed the small bunch of flowers over her shoulder.

Faith caught them reflexively, staring at the petals as though she'd
never seen a flower before as a laughing cheer went up around her.
Caitlin bit her lip, catching her eye.  I'm sorry, those green eyes said,
you know I wouldn't...

And Faith nodded slightly, acknowledging the thought.  She felt another
set of eyes upon her, but she didn't turn, didn't acknowledge his
presence.  Deena gathered the available men, a group which wouldn't
include Rey.  The irony wasn't lost on Faith.

Mike knelt in front of Caitlin, grinning, a devil in his lighter green
eyes.  This time Caitlin bit her lip for a different reason, trying to
stifle a giggle, as he slid his fingers up the smooth nylon hose to her
thigh, hooking his index finger in the narrow, blue silk garter.

There were the usual catcalls and whistles from the men present.
"C'mon, Logan, it can't take that long!" Kelson called, earning a nudge in
the ribs from Sheila.

"Maybe not for you, Ransome," Mike answered without rancor, still
grinning up at Caitlin and sliding the garter over her knee.  She rested a
hand on his shoulder, balancing, as he disentangled the scrap of blue
fabric from her shoe.

Mike straightened, also turning his back on the assembled men, and
tossed the garter over his shoulder.  As it fell, every single took a step
back, grinning, as Lennie Briscoe, unaware of their retreat, caught the
piece of blue silk in two fingers.

Howls of laughter arose and Lennie looked around, nodding good-
naturedly, and rolling his eyes at the groom.

"Four times single?" Mike called, trying not to laugh at his ex-partner.

"When hell freezes over," Lennie replied equably, a genuine smile
creasing his weathered face, and Mike laughed, slipping his arm around
Caitlin's waist.

"Let's slip out the back door," he whispered next to her ear.

"Why do you think I had you park in the alley?" she whispered back.  "I
don't trust Kelly...he's probably waiting outside the front door with a
ten pound bag of bird seed or something."

Faith watched them go, a wistful smile touching her lips.  Glancing at
her watch one last time, she decided she could finally make her escape.

Away from those dark, dark eyes that continued to haunt her even after
she was outside in the cold, frigid night...

****

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
New York City
Wednesday 9:14 pm

Mike Logan slowly removed his tie, watching his wife as she pulled the
pins from her hair and shook out the sleek, dark strands.

His wife.

Mike grinned, shaking his head.  They weren't exactly words he'd ever
thought he'd use.  It actually surprised him that he like the sound of
the words, even if she insisted on being Caitlin Falconetti rather than
Caitlin Logan.

Caitlin had removed the pearl and diamond earrings that her mother and
grandmother had worn on their own wedding days, and was unpinning the
blush rosebuds from the collar of her ivory suit.

He crossed the room to stand behind her, sliding her hair out of the way
and pressing a slow kiss to the side of her neck.  Caitlin smiled and
briefly lifted her shoulder against his cheek, tilting her head back
against his shoulder.  "Unusual way to ring in the New Year, isn't it?"
she asked, slightly breathless as his lips traveled up the smooth skin
of her neck.

"Honey," he whispered next to her ear, fingers slowly releasing the
buttons of her suit jacket, "we're just getting started."

Caitlin turned in his embrace, arms going around his neck, hands
tangling in his hair, pulling his lips down to hers.

The kiss was slow, leisurely, as Caitlin ran her hands over his
shoulders and upper arms, feeling his muscles tighten under her touch.

Mike pushed the jacket from her shoulders, sliding it down her arms so
that it pooled on the floor at their feet.  He broke the kiss, pressing
his lips to her temple tenderly.  "Let's go to bed," he whispered,
sliding his hand over her back.

Caitlin smiled up at him, her fingers slowly unbuttoning the pin-striped
dress shirt before splaying across his chest.  "I thought you'd never
ask."

********

Continued in part twenty-one.












From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:49:11 1997

Secrecy
by Linda Winfree and Jen Salonen

See introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake


***

Apartment of Faith Morrison
New York City
December 31
Wednesday 11:56 pm

Faith glanced in at Chloe, the nightlight glinting softly off her
daughter's dark hair.  She wandered back to the darkened living room,
her hands shoved in the pockets of her well-worn robe.

Even through the closed windows, sounds of the revelers below drifted up
to her.  She felt isolated, alone, separate from their happiness.

She'd had the same feeling that afternoon, watching Mike marry Caitlin.
She'd seen the pride and happiness in his strong face and the joy that
lit Caitlin's eyes.

She'd been happy for them, but oh, so alone.

And now she understood the faint unspoken jealousy that flickered
through Caitlin's eyes whenever they were together with Chloe.  Wanting
something you couldn't have.  She wanted what they had.  The love, the
happiness, even the commitment.

And she wanted it with Rey.  She sank down onto the couch, wrapping her
arms around her knees, the silent tears slipping down her face.

Where was he tonight? she wondered.  Who was he with, what he was doing.
If he was happy.

If he missed her, was thinking of her.

Oh, God, she loved him.

How had it gone so wrong?

There was a soft knock at the door and she got up, wiping the tears
away. Rana must have forgotten something.  Or maybe Katie was dropping by,
the bitch.

Tiredly, she threw open the lock and swung the door open.  She froze at
the sight of Rey Curtis standing on the other side of that door.
Stunned, she stared into his dark, dark eyes.  Eyes you could drown in.

Eyes that were regarding her a little apprehensively, but oh so warmly.
Eyes filled with such love...

"Hey," he said, finally.  Faith pulled her robe closer as a cold, night
breeze whipped over her legs.  They looked at each other until Rey dropped
his eyes, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his trenchcoat,
clearing his throat. "I've-I've been sitting down in my car for an hour
now, wondering whether or not I should come up here..." His eyes met hers
again, and he swallowed hard. "Can I come in?"

After a long moment, she opened the door further and retreated to the
couch as he walked in, pulling off his coat.  She caught herself watching
his beautiful, tired face as he walked slowly into the living room.

"How's Chloe?" Rey asked, sitting on the other side of the couch.  His
eyes were so warm as they flickered up the her face.  Faith pulled her
bare legs up and covered them quickly with her robe, silently damning her
hands for trembling.

"She's fine," she replied, looking everywhere but him.

"Did she like her Christmas presents?" Rey asked, and Faith wished
desperately for him to shut up.  Couldn't he just leave her alone?  Unable
to speak, Faith nodded, shortly.  Rey half-smiled, pleased. "I had some
help from Serena picking them out," He was quiet for another moment. "Did
you like yours?"

Faith's hand instantly fluttered to her throat, where the cool gold chain
rested against her skin.  His eyes caught the movement and she saw him try
not to smile. "Well, did you like it?" he asked again, voice soft. "I
picked it out myself. No help."

Her eyes blinked quickly to keep away the helpless tears.  Swallowing
hard, she brushed her hair back.  "It-It was very nice,"

Rey nodded and they sat in silence for a long moment. "You look good..."
he said, softly.

Faith rubbed her eyes, worriedly, her hands beginning to shake. "Rey,
what do you want?"

He moved closer, and Faith moved away, her back hitting the arm of the
couch.  A frightening feeling of entrapment ran down her spine and she
stared at him.  "I missed you," Rey whispered, dark eyes pulling her in.
"I miss you all the time, Faith.  I'm sorry I left you.  Please.  I love
you so much, Faith,"

Faith sighed, heavily, looking away, eyes welling. "Stop it,"

His hand slid to hers, up her thigh to her fingers.  She flinched as he
raised her hand to his lips, kissing her fingertips. "I love you," Rey
said, again. "Please, Faith."

She pulled away and stood up, trembling at the impact of his touch.
"Rey, stop," she said, tearfully. "You don't love me,"

"You have no idea how badly I'm in love with you," Rey told her,
standing up. "You're all I ever think about.  God, Faith, we used to love
each other so much. Don't you remember what it was like?" His hand touched
her arm, with soft wistfulness.

"I remember the lies, Rey," she answered, huskily, eyes dark on his
face. "I remember the secrets.  We were a secret, that'll never change.  I
hated it so much.  It'll never stop being a lie."

"Yes," Rey said, eyes lighting up. "Yes it will," His voice suddenly
dropped and he swallowed several times before he continued, his voice soft
and tearful. "Faith, I-I....I told her we'd take the girls every
weekend-Friday afternoon to Sunday night.  I'll pay all the child support
and help her out whenever she needs it..." He swallowed again, seeing the
realization dawn on her features.

"You-You left your wife...for me?" she whispered, trying to push away
the long-asleep rush of love that she felt for him seep through her again.
"Why?"

He stepped closer, linking his hands in hers, face inches from her own,
eyes locked. "Because," he whispered, tenderly. "I want to wake up with
you every morning.  I want you to help me raise my girls, and I want Chloe
to have a father.  But, most of all, I want to be with you, Faith, more
than anything.  I want to love you again," His finger grazed her jaw,
tilting up her chin. "Let me love you again," he murmured, their lips
almost brushing together. Faith helplessly surrendered to the beautiful
words as he whispered a trembling "please" against her lips. "I love you."

A lone tear slipped down her cheek and she closed her eyes, the bitter
cold washed from her body. "I love you, too," she said, softly, the words
spilling from her lips as they met with his, clumsily, after the four long
months of being apart.

***

Apartment of Caitlin Falconetti and Mike Logan
New York City
January 1
Thursday 11:11 am

"Are you two sure you know what you're doing?" Mike asked from the
kitchen doorway.

"Why?" Caitlin asked, grinning at him, her eyes shining.  "Are you
offering to help?"

Mike stared at her a moment.  <God, she's beautiful> he thought,
suddenly thankful that she was back in his life and that everything was
right with them again.  "Is it microwavable?" he asked.

"Not hardly," Joss laughed, straightening from the oven where he'd been
checking the turkey.  "Not unless you want it to taste like shoe
leather."

"No, that would be Kelly's steaks," Caitlin chuckled, chopping celery
for the dressing.  "A microwaved turkey would be more like that homemade
beef jerkey Troupe makes."

Joss shuddered with remembered distaste.  "God, don't remind me."

The doorbell rang and Caitlin glanced at the clock.  "That's probably
Kelson and Sheila.  Would you get that for me?" she nodded at Joss and
he headed for the door.

"Did you remind Faith?" Caitlin asked as Mike wandered around the
counter to stand behind her, linking his arms around her waist.

"She knows," he muttered, nuzzling the side of her neck.

"But did you remind her?" she asked, voice breathless, and Mike felt her
shiver under his touch.

He slid his mouth up to her earlobe.  "I for-"

"Oh, good God, not again," Kelson said from the doorway.  "And over
dinner, too."

"Shut up, Kelly," Caitlin said mildly as Mike stepped away from her.
"We've been married less than twenty-four hours, for God's sake."

"He's jealous because he doesn't have a sex life anymore," Joss grinned
as he returned to the kitchen.

"Oh, like you do?" Kelson taunted and Caitlin watched, amused, as a dark
flush played over her brother's high cheekbones.  Kelson saw it, too,
and grinned.  "I thought so."

"And if you ever do get a sex life again, deny everything," Caitlin
instructed her brother. "Or he'll be asking you those stupid best and
strangest places questions."

"Hey, you're the one who keeps answering them," Kelson grinned.

Caitlin ignored him.  "Mike, call your partner and remind her of what
you were supposed to remind her of yesterday."

Rolling his eyes, Mike complied, going into the living room to retrieve
the cordless phone.  He returned a few minutes later to the easy banter
being exchanged in the kitchen.  Sheila had joined the others after
putting Abby, asleep, in her porta-crib in the spare bedroom.  Caitlin
caught the cautious glance he sent in her direction and sighed.  "She's
not coming, is she?"

Mike shrugged.  "Actually, she is."

Caitlin regarded him suspiciously.  "And?"

"She's bringing Rey."

****
3:04 pm

Faith felt Caitlin's eyes on her as she leaned into the fridge for
another glass of wine.  Rey leaned over her, his hand on her waist,
throwing cautious, hateful glances in Caitlin's direction.  Straightening
up, she poured herself a drink, ignoring the way their eyes were locked in
silent warring.  She turned to Rey, laying a cool hand on his cheek,
forcing him to meet her eyes.  After a moment, she smiled and he returned
it, softly, laying a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Can't you two just get along?" she asked, seriously, glancing at
Caitlin.

Caitlin rolled her eyes and turned her back, continuing to slice the
pumpkin bread.  Sighing, Faith glared at her hunched shoulders and looked
up at Rey, eyes shining with obvious frustration. "You're not helping,
Rey.  One of you needs to end this right now," She looked at Caitlin, who
remained silent, then up at Rey, whose eyes met hers, hostility.  With a
huff of distaste, Faith walked back into the living room, meeting
Caitlin's stony gaze on the way out the door.

Reclaiming her seat on the couch, she sank against the cushions, warily
watching as Sheila brought the baby into the living room.  Kelson smiled
at his wife with unhidden pride and adoration, standing to gaze belovedly
into his new daughter's face. A faint longing ached through her and she
turned her face away, staring blankly at the television.  Today was
supposed to be a happy day.  She didn't need to think about it, not today.
"Faith?" Sheila was looking right at her, eyes soft and warm. "Faith," she
said again, quietly. "Would you like to hold her?"

A quiet settled over the living room.  Mike glanced sharply up at his
wife's cousin, but Sheila's eyes remained steadily on Faith.  Kelson
swallowed nervously. "Hon, I don't think she wants to-"

"No!" Faith exclaimed, shakily. "I-I mean, no, I do.  I'd love to hold
Abby."

Mike watched his partner's face, worriedly, opening his mouth to object.
Words instantly lost him as Faith set her wine glass on the table and
Sheila settled the pink bundle against her.  Her arms came around Abby
like only a real mother's can, cradling in all the right spots, achingly
remembering when Chloe had been that small.  The feeling wrestled a sigh
from her and she stared down at the tiny girl in her embrace. "Oh!" she
whispered, surprised at the rush of feelings that hit her as the bright
blue eyes blinked sleepily up at her, tiny pink mouth opening in a minute
yawn.  "Hello, Abby Rose," She touched the tiny fist and it curled around
her finger, perfectly.  Before she could stop them, wishful tears of an
almost forgotten hurt sprang into her eyes.

Rey stood in the doorway to the kitchen, completely enthralled at the
heart-wrenching scene.  All pain was washed from her face as she glanced
up, but he saw the shining tears glistening in her eyes.  He crossed to
the couch, carefully sitting beside her, sliding an arm around her
shoulders, cradling his arm against hers.  He could feel the hurt that was
twisting inside her and his heart wrenched at the thought of what she must
be feeling, holding the tiny baby; holding, in what a few more precious
monthes, could have been theirs.  A tear dripped onto the tiny fingers and
he closed his eyes, fear cutting through him.  His lips touched her
temple, reassuringly, lips softly forming a near-silent plea.

Caitlin was frozen at the counter, staring at the two on the couch, at
the pain that was washing over Rey's face, his lips moving against her
temple. Faith's face was hidden, but the stinging ache emanated throughout
the quiet living room. Her eyes focused on Rey's mouth, as they moved
against Faith's skin, questioningly watching them.  After a moment, she
saw what he was whispering and she swallowed hard, watching him repeat the
words over and over.

"Don't go back there, Faith.  Don't go back there.  I love you.  Please
don't go back there,"

Faith turned, looking at him, eyes spilling over.  There was a tender
smile on her face as she leaned and kissed his chin.  Rey kissed her
forehead, murmuring lovingly.  Breaking away, Faith looked over at Sheila,
who had been watching them with a heartbroken look in her eyes. "H-Here
you go," Faith said, sniffling embarrasedly.  Sheila took back her
daughter, smiling gently at her. "She's really beautiful, Sheila, Kelson.
Really," she met Mike's eyes and saw the underlying pity there.  Her
stomach twisted and she stood up, unsteadily, glancing wildly about the
room. "Would-Would you excuse me, please?"

The room remained silent as she disappeared, the apartment door closing
behind her.  After a moment, Rey rubbed his eyes and followed her.  Mike
stood up and walked into the kitchen, sliding his arms around Caitlin,
burying his face in her neck, a silent breath of thanks for having her,
now.

***

Rey opened the door to the stoop and sighed.

Faith was sitting on the stoop in the icy cold, smoking.  He shut the
door and sat down beside her, resting a hand on her knee. "Where's your
jacket?" he asked, pulling off his trenchcoat and draping it over her
shoulders. She glanced at him, and he recognized the rage that burned
softly in her eyes.

"Dammit, Faith," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't go
back to the way it used to be.  You're better now.  Please."

She dropped her cigarette onto the step and collapsed into his arms,
restrained tears chasing themselves down her cheeks. "When is it going to
stop hurting, Rey?  When is my heart gonna stop hurting like this?"

He rocked her gently, lips in her hair. "I don't know, Faith.  But
you're stronger than this.  I know you are," he kissed her ear, gently. "I
love you, Faith.  I'm never going to leave you again.  I promise.  It's
going to be all right."

He held her on the stone-cold steps until her tears subsided and she
stood up, sliding her hand onto his shoulder as she stood up.  He followed
her and wrapped his arms around her.  She threaded her fingers through his
dark hair and he kissed her, hungrily.  She met his lips with equal need,
smiling against his jaw as their lips met again.

"Faith-" Caitlin banged onto the steps, stopping short when she saw
them.  Rey pulled away, but Faith kissed him once more before letting him
go. Caitlin looked warily at Rey, who diverted his eyes, quickly.

"I'm going to go back upstairs," Rey said, with a smile, rubbing his
hands up and down his arms as a blustery wind ruffled their hair. "I'm
missing the game."

"I'll be right up," she said, smiling back as he headed back up the
stairs.  She looked at Caitlin, pulling Rey's coat tighter around her,
meeting her friend's dark eyes with her own. "Are you going to be happy
for me?"

Caitlin sighed, leaning against the railing. "Faith, I just don't want
to see you get hurt again.  Aren't you afraid he's not going to live up to
all these huge promises he's making to you?  I mean, he *left* you when he
needed you most.  I want you to be happy, but I don't want to see him
string you along. Sometimes," she smiled, chuckling, lightening the mood.
"Sometimes I think that you'd be better off with Mulder.  At least you
know he wouldn't cheat on you."

Faith laughed along with her, imagining herself with Fox Mulder.
Imagining what her life would have been like. "Oh, I don't know.  That
man's crazy, even for a "deranged genius" like me," she and Caitlin
laughed again, shaking their heads.

"Caitlin, can you imagine either of us staying where we were?  Doesn't
it just boggle the mind?"

Caitlin nodded, pretending to ponder the question.  "Hmmm...convenient
great sex with a guy who runs off to God knows where at the drop of the
hat?  Oh, yeah, I miss that," she smiled suddenly.  "Things have changed."

Faith nodded as they headed inside, slinging an arm around her friend's
waist. "Everything's changed," she said as they began up the steps,
matching Caitlin's grin. "Isn't it great?"

Caitlin glanced at her sideways.  "Sure, Faith.  Whatever you say."

Faith laughed as they entered the building, her heart suddenly light.

***

Continued in the epilogue.










From lwinfree@grits.valdosta.peachnet.edu Tue Feb 11 13:51:47 1997

Secrecy
by Jen Salonen and Linda Winfree

See Introduction for summary and disclaimer.

"Cruelty has a human heart,
 And Jealousy a human face;
 Terror the human form divine,
 And Secrecy the human dress."
 --William Blake

***

Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
January 1
Thursday 9:12 pm


Alex Krycek pulled open the door of the black Jeep Cherokee, sliding
into the passenger seat.  He sat tensely, letting the warmth of the car's
interior seep into his chilled body.

A match flared in the darkness as the tall man in the driver's seat lit
a cigarette.  The sudden light illuminated the sharp planes and high
cheekbones of Vince Falconetti's face.

"She's going to remember," Alex said quietly with grim knowledge.  "And
when she does-"

"It won't happen," Vince said hardly and Alex glanced at him quickly.
"They won't find out."

"Why the hell not?  She'll tell them-"

"No," Vince said coldly.  "Because we're not going to let her."

Alex was almost frightened by the ice in Vince's voice.  "We're not-"

"Look, Alex, I don't care if you play daddy or not after we snatch the
kid.  But I'm not going to let what she remembers ruin my life."
He grinned in the darkness, his mind already planning.  "You can count
on it."

********

The end.