From 72164.2326@CompuServe.COM Sat Sep 28 01:45:26 1996 Return-Path: owner-x-files-fanfic@chaos.taylored.com Received: from chaos.taylored.com (chaos.taylored.com [206.53.224.58]) by sh1.ro.com (8.7.6/8.6.9) with SMTP id BAA24624 for ; Sat, 28 Sep 1996 01:51:35 -0500 Received: (qmail-queue invoked by alias); 28 Sep 1996 06:49:00 -0000 Delivered-To: x-files-fanfic-outgoing@chaos.taylored.com Received: (qmail-queue invoked by alias); 28 Sep 1996 06:48:59 -0000 Delivered-To: xff-outgoing@chaos.taylored.com Received: (qmail-queue invoked by uid 1003); 28 Sep 1996 06:48:38 -0000 Received: (qmail-queue invoked from smtpd); 28 Sep 1996 06:48:08 -0000 Received: from dub-img-6.compuserve.com (149.174.206.136) by chaos.taylored.com with SMTP; 28 Sep 1996 06:48:08 -0000 Received: by dub-img-6.compuserve.com (8.6.10/5.950515) id CAA01122; Sat, 28 Sep 1996 02:47:03 -0400 Date: 28 Sep 96 02:45:26 EDT From: "R.L.P." <72164.2326@CompuServe.COM> To: X-Files Fanfic List Subject: NEW: Self-Deception 1/1 Message-ID: <960928064526_72164.2326_DHR38-1@CompuServe.COM> Sender: owner-x-files-fanfic@chaos.taylored.com Precedence: bulk X-UIDL: e83ee69b6d4bb9bd789f050cd96b3b7a Ok, I have no idea where this one came from. It was too odd not to share. Nothing too horrible, PG-13 I guess, angst, hints of MSR, whatever. Roopam, I'm working on my other story, so stop nagging me! :-) I had to get this one out, it wouldn't leave me alone. All comments welcomed and appreciated. Even flames. I am that desperate for mail. Everybody, sing along . . . They still don't belong to me, they're CC's, and GA's and DD's. Also 1013 and FOX. Written without permission, please don't sue. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Self-Deception By Jadar Allyna. 72164.2326@compuserve.com Scully cautiously approached the door of the abandoned warehouse. Glancing over her shoulder through the dark, she could just make out Mulder's face behind her. She met his eyes and they both raised their drawn guns. They silently counted to three and Mulder kicked open the half rotten door. They reacted together, bursting into the room, he high, she low. Nothing. They moved noiselessly through the large, empty room, pointing guns and flashlights into every corner. After they'd completely sweeped the place and found it vacant, Mulder put away his gun with a sigh. "Another wild goose chase." Scully kept her gun in her hand. "I don't know, Mulder, something about this one . . ." "It's a joke, Scully." he said angrily. "Another ruse, another yank from the shadows at the end of the chain." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "What should we do today? Oh, I know, let's call up Spooky Mulder and tell him we know where his sister is. Then we can watch him run around in circles again." His voice was bitter, with an underlining of weariness after all the years of searching. "Mulder-" she started, but never got the chance to finish when the room suddenly exploded with light. Shaking her head to stop the ringing, Scully heard Mulder yelling frantically to her. "I'm here, I'm ok." she called, realizing her flashlight was dead. She looked up to see him pick himself from off the floor, his flashlight still working. He hurried over to her. "Mulder, what the hell was that?" she asked as he helped her to her feet. He didn't answer, instead turning and running for the large main room they'd entered by. She grabbed her nearby gun and raced after him. He stopped so abruptly she slammed into his back and bounced off his tall frame. Even before she heard him scream, she knew what it was. "SAMANTHA!" He threw himself down beside his sister's small form. Scully saw she looked exactly like the picture on his desk. There was a cut on her forehead and a small stream of blood oozed from it. Real blood, not some green slime. "Samantha?" he whispered, gently stroking her cheek. With a sickening jolt, Scully saw she wasn't breathing. Falling to her knees, she desperately felt for a pulse. Mulder pulled back, already knowing without her having to say a word. Scully frantically started CPR. "Come on, dammit!" she yelled. "No! Not now!" Mulder, who had relentlessly searched so long and so hard, sat woodenly beside her as she shouted at the still child, refusing to give up. Finally his hand on hers made her look up. Tears were streaming down his face and she realized they were pouring from her own eyes as well. Cradling Samatha's tiny, lifeless body between them, they wrapped their arms around each other, deep choking sobs shaking them both. A gunshot roared in her ears and her world was shattered for the second time that night. Mulder collapsed against her, his beautiful hazel eyes widening in shock. She looked down to see his blood spill out over Samantha. "Dana, I-" She'd never know what he was going to say as Fox Mulder died in her arms. "NO!" she screamed, rising to her feet, her gun in her hand. She met the smug look of the Cancer Man, puffing away on his ever-present cigarette. Without even realizing, she pulled the trigger on her gun again and again, until she was met with the clicking sound of an empty cartridge. She felt no satisfaction when he fell to the ground. Looking down at the two bodies at her feet, possibly the two she needed more than anything in the world, Scully screamed again . . . . . . and lurched up in her bed. "Scully! Wake up!" Her mind, still asleep, was showing her pictures of Duane Barry, Donnie Pfaster, Eugene Tooms, the shape-shifting alien clone, and every other criminal they'd chased closing in around her. "SCULLY!" Her eyes flew open. Mulder was shaking her by the shoulders. "Scully! It's all right, it was just a dream." "Mulder!" she gasped, and threw her arms around him, not thinking about what she was doing. He tightly hugged her back and she began to remember where they were. In a motel in North Dakota, on a case. More crop circles, and yet another dead end. "You were crying my name. Mine . . . and Samantha's. Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked quietly, his soft breath tickling her ear. Pulling away, in a halting voice, she managed to describe it to him. She saw his face fill with understanding. "Scully, I'm sorry. After all we've been through, you're finally starting to have those nightmares too. I wish-" "It's not your fault." she stopped him, automatically, but meaning it. He smiled sadly, and she understood just a little bit better what it was that made that smile so tragically sorrowful. "How do you take it, Mulder?" she asked softly. "Day after day, never knowing for sure . . ." He reached out to brush a strand of copper hair off her face, his light fingers on her skin causing her to shiver. "Truthfully?" he questioned, and they both smiled at his words. "You, Scully. You're my faith. You keep me going." She stared at him. Even though she felt the same way, it was the first time he'd ever voiced it directly. She found his hand in the darkness. "You'll stay here?" She didn't quite know what it meant, or where it had come from, but she knew Mulder would understand. "Always." XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Yeah, like you didn't see that ending coming. Hey, did you think I'd really kill Mulder and Samantha off? Like I said, I don't know where these things are made, I've learned not to question it anymore. Keep an eye out for my next story, coming soon. It's actually an X-File and (hopefully) makes sense. Jadar Allyna. 72164.2326@compuserve.com "Who are you to give them hope?" "What do you give them?" - Talitha Cumi.