From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Thu,  5 Jun 2008 20:31:29 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: Selfish (1/2) (NC-17) by Adrienne
Source: direct

Reply To: davephile@yahoo.com


Title: Selfish (1/2) (NC-17)
Author: Adrienne < davephile@yahoo.com > 
Date: June 5, 2008
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: a dash of Never Again
Classification: VR
Keywords: MSR
Archive: Anywhere, in its entirety
Summary: Scully brings her feelings about how Mulder treats 
her to the forefront.
Disclaimer: Fox and Dana belong to the great and powerful 
one out west, no harm intended, but I claim the lightning 
bugs as my own.
Author's Notes: I can't wait for July 25. That's about it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At the end of a sweltering July day in the Midwest, the 
land sighs relief with the setting of the sun. Fire spills 
across the horizon and promises the heat will soon 
relinquish to the night.

On days like these, clothes meld to damp skin, trapping the 
heat. Scully opened the dusty car door with a sigh, 
anxiously anticipating the cold blast of air conditioning. 
She slid into her burning hot seat, cringing, and Mulder 
slid in next to her. He eagerly flicked the key in the 
ignition and turned the air on high. They sighed 
simultaneously.

She pulled the sticky strands of hair away from the back of 
her neck.

"So what are you thinking?" Mulder asked, loosening his 
tie.

"I'm thinking...how did I get to the point in my life in 
which my entire professional wardrobe consists of black 
suits?" She adjusted the vent so it blew full on her face. 
"You?"

"That I'd give my left nut for a pair of Bermuda shorts 
right now."

Scully rolled her eyes and smiled, settling back against 
the seat. "Mulder, I never, ever want to see you in a pair 
of Bermuda shorts."

Mulder shed his coat for his dress shirt. "Why don't you 
tell me how you really feel, Scully?"

"Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"Quit talking and start driving."

He laughed as he pulled on his seatbelt. Best not to push 
it with an exhausted, hot, overdressed Scully who had just 
made the conclusion that they'd dragged their asses out to 
southern Missouri to discover that the unexplained "Lights 
of the Ozarks" activity at dusk was not extraterrestrial. 
In fact it was extremely terrestrial, in the form of a 
massive swarm of lightning bugs in a mating frenzy at an 
unusually high altitude zipping across the sky.

"You win some, you lose some," he had said as she stood 
with her hands on her hips, face to the sky, shaking her 
head. She'd turned her head to observe his sheepish grin 
with an intolerant intensity.

"Sometimes, Mulder..." She'd waved a glowing bug away from 
her face. "I think you get a real kick out of dragging me 
around on your wild...bug chases."

He had gazed up at the swarming bugs and shrugged, full of 
secret satisfaction. He did get a kick out of it. At times, 
he enjoyed the failed cases more than the successes. It 
gave her a chance to be right, more importantly to prove 
him wrong. That rarely happened, in his mind anyway, and 
honestly sometimes this stuff was so outrageous that it 
seemed they, together, were the only sanity left in the 
world.

 The unity was indefinably important to him, that they 
could counter each other without end yet still come 
together and enjoy the moment of realization, no matter who 
was right.

Another lightning bug hit Scully's face. With a 
dissatisfied hmph, she'd shaken her head, her auburn hair 
failing over her eyes. He'd viewed her peripherally as she 
pushed it back from her face. It was one of his favorite 
little gestures.

"Are you ready to get out of here?"

"As tempting as it is to stay in this bug-infested, damp, 
sticky, hot excuse for the wonder of nature...yeah."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scully was splayed out on the lumpy mattress, coils sinking 
into her bare back. Her arms were thrown haphazardly above 
her head as she quizzically examined two houseflies as they 
endlessly beat themselves against the light fixture on the 
ceiling.

That's so us, she mused.

Her body was covered in a sticky film of sweat and dirt. 
Immediately upon entering her less-than-fabulous 
accommodations at the Blue Spruce Lodge, she'd stripped 
down to her bra and panties. She wondered whether there 
just might be a tiny video camera in this room somewhere. 
It was that type of place.

Maybe, she thought as the flies knocked at the light, if we 
would stop running after shadows and sasquatches all the 
time, the Bureau would spring for more fitting 
accommodations. At this point, they continually had the GAO 
breathing down their necks about writing off two nights at 
the luxurious Blue Spruce Lodge and a dinner of meatloaf at 
the Toot Toot Cafe.

She'd watched Mulder wolf down the browned lump of meat 
like it was his last meal on Earth. Six years with this man 
and he always ate the same way. Urgently, like the food was 
about to walk off his plate. She'd listlessly forked at the 
meatloaf, staring at him, wishing she'd ordered the house 
salad. Iceberg lettuce with carrot shreds doused in ranch 
from a three-gallon vat was a bit more appealing than what 
had been placed before her, the plate clattering as it 
announced its glorious arrival.

So she was hungry, and Mulder had taken the car to go check 
out "those crazy lightning bugs and their aerial acrobatic 
show." And he'd stopped asking her to go when all he heard 
was dead silence on the other end of the line.

"Fine, Scully...enjoy your evening at the Spruce."

She turned on her side, wiping the sweat from her brow with 
her upper arm. The "Spruce" did have a small pool, and from 
the looks of it, the water was fairly clean. Clean enough. 
And probably fairly warm from the heat of the day.

She weighed her options. A shower in the clawed tub with 
the screeching shower head. Hungrily, sweatily awaiting a 
pizza delivery while watching the 15" black and white 
television. Waiting for Mulder to return and bitching him 
out for ditching her in a sweltering room with no food or 
water to go explore A Bug's Life, in real life.

Order the pizza, skip the T.V. Go for a swim, wait for the 
pizza. Accept the delivery, start eating, only to be 
interrupted by a bang on the door. Let Mulder in, watch him 
eat most of her pizza, bitch at him for ditching her, and 
sigh when he blames it on her disinterest in the legendary 
lights of the Ozarks.

Sounds like a plan.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scully's swimsuit was a mainstay in her luggage, though she 
rarely used it. It was kind of a fantastical idea, that one 
of these trips would involve some sort of relaxation in a 
lagoon-like setting.

She slid on the black two-piece, inspecting her body in the 
mirror loosely hung on the wood-paneled wall. She ran her 
hands down the curves of her hips and checked out her 
bottom. She was relieved to find each piece still nicely 
fit. Her eyes were drawn to the tattoo that peeked out from 
behind her back. She softly smiled at the simple pleasure 
it gave her when she remembered it was there.

She knew Mulder was, or had been, wildly curious about what 
it was, where it was, what it meant. All he know was that 
it was there, somewhere on her body. A little shiver ran 
down her spine as she imagined him looking for it, eyes 
hungrily raking over her tense skin. Her fingers traced the 
hollow of her belly button as a reflection of curiosity 
burned back from the mirror.

She pulled out of her fantasy moment and grabbed a towel.

Scully padded barefoot along the cool, rough sidewalk. The 
darkness was perforated by yellow lamps that led to the 
dimly lit pool area. She'd wrapped her towel tightly around 
her body to disguise herself from any weirdoes that might 
be lurking. Sighing deeply, she pushed the gate open and 
reached the edge of the pool. Dipping her toes in, she was 
comforted to find it lukewarm.

She tossed her towel to the patio table and slipped into 
the dark water just as quickly. Her body immediately 
thanked her as she pulled her head under. It was pure, 
simplistic bliss, something she hadn't let herself 
experience in an embarrassingly long time.

She emerged with a gasp for air, treading water and 
scanning the enclosure for any signs of ill will. Finding 
none, she turned onto her back, pushing off against the 
side. Millions of blinking stars welcomed her sight. She 
heard her slow breaths in, out, as water filled her ears.

Somewhere up there are answers. Somewhere beyond the 
clouds, the jets, the stifling atmosphere. But what were 
they? Where would they lead?

Always to more questions.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the mild disappointment of learning that lightning 
bugs en masse only truly exist for that hour or so of 
twilight between sundown and darkness, Mulder drove through 
Sonic to get himself a strawberry limeade and a 
cheeseburger with mustard. When asked if he wanted anything 
else, he thought of his partner, probably anxiously 
awaiting his arrival so she could bitch at him about how 
hungry she was since he took the car to go investigate the 
lights phenomenon.

He ordered another cheeseburger and gave a bit of thought 
to how Scully would take her drink. He ordered her a cherry 
limeade, knowing the seeds from the strawberries would 
probably disturb her in some deep way.

In fact, he thought after he ordered, she would have 
probably preferred some kind of salad. But he didn't even 
know if Sonic had salads.

"Do you have salads?" He asked when he arrived at the 
drive-thru window. The teenage girl attending the space 
gave him the most irritated expression he'd seen in...at 
least a few hours. 

"Yeah. They're on the menu."

"Well..." Mulder faltered, thinking. "I mean, do you have 
some...salad with chicken?"

"Oh, my Lord, yes." Exasperation filled her voice. "Is that 
what you want?"

"Actually...it's for my partner, I think instead of the 
second cheeseburger. Yeah, thanks," he decided. The order 
was changed, paid for, and he was on his way.

He wondered if she would be cool with eating dinner 
together in her room tonight. Most of the time his split-
second decisions related to some half-assed attempt at 
getting more time with Scully without being horrendously 
obvious as to his intentions.

He liked when they could get real, kick off their shoes, 
and talk about anything other than work. They'd swap 
childhood stories sometimes, like the time he drank a 
bottle of salad dressing for a buck and threw it up 
afterward. Or the time she walked in on her parents and her 
dad was wearing nothing but his captain's hat.

Little moments of reality slowly and surely drew his heart 
toward hers. Now it beat so closely and passionately he 
wasn't sure if it could exist without the gentle prompting 
of her own. To go on, keep moving, keep existing. At times, 
to keep dreaming.

Mulder knocked on her room door, his hand clutching two 
paper bags. The light in her room was off and for a split 
second, he wondered if she'd called a cab to the airport. 
He turned the doorknob and it popped open. Yellow light 
filtered in from the doorway.

"Scully?" he murmured, glancing around. His eyes adjusted 
to an empty made bed, her phone on the bedside table, and 
her bag in the corner of the room. He set the food down on 
the table and pursed his lips, trying not to let the little 
panic alarm set off in his head.

A hungry Scully may have left the door unlocked to make a 
quick pass at the vending area past the pool. Her affinity 
was toward Cheez-Its and Diet Pepsi when she was desperate, 
preferably Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi when available. He shut 
her door and wandered along the outdoor corridor.

His eyes were drawn to the pool, cast in dim yellow 
lighting, as he thought how fantastic it would feel to dive 
in and wash the day's sticky dirty heat away. Someone 
apparently already had that idea and was floating across 
the water on her back. Mulder wandered closer, taking a 
quick scope of the lean torso and black-clad breasts that 
peeked over the top of the water.

And then he realized who it was.

His jaw dropped a bit before he quickly corrected it. How 
completely uncharacteristic of Scully to lounge in the 
pool. Or maybe it was characteristic of her, and he just 
didn't know her well enough to realize it. The thought 
troubled him. She was oblivious to her surroundings, her 
guard let down. He ached to know what crossed her mind as 
she soaked in serenity.

Mulder pushed open the gate to the pool area, relieved by 
its silent swing. He slowly stepped over to a lounge chair, 
his eyes focused on every bit of her he could see. He felt 
like he was capturing a glimpse of some wild animal in its 
natural habitat. 

He sat down with his elbows on his knees, watching, waiting 
for her perception to pick up his presence. Her fingers 
delicately threaded through the water. She scooped up a 
palmful and poured it onto her stomach. Shallow breath, 
gentle movements. His eyebrows spiked and suddenly he felt 
embarrassed for intruding on such a personal moment.

As if on cue, Scully's eyes opened and darted to him. Her 
body disappeared underwater. "Jesus, Mulder."

"I'm sorry," he managed, a blush flooding his cheeks. 
Settle down, he thought. It's not like she was touching 
herself or anything. Okay...don't go there.

"Well..." She treaded water, staring at him. "It's all 
right. You just surprised me."

"How's the water?"

"Wonderful."

"How wonderful?" He kicked off one shoe, then the other. 
Scully looked confused.

"Really wonderful," she conceded, her eyes meeting his.

"Well then...make room for Mulder. I'm coming in." He 
pulled his shirt over his head. Scully averted her eyes 
away from his muscular chest and stomach, then let them 
sweep back over his body as he bent to pull his socks off.

"Mulder...you...I was getting out soon. I'm starving." 
Words tumbled out of her mouth and her tongue tripped over 
them. He met her eyes with a half-smile and unbuttoned his 
pants. He stopped and raised his eyebrows at her.

"Scully, do you mind?"

Speechless, she turned her back to him and rolled her eyes 
with a deep breath. She heard him shed his pants. Silence, 
and then the water shifted as he slid into its warmth.

"Can I turn around yet?"

"Up to you."

She found him hopping up and down in the water. His head 
slipped under and her brow furrowed as she tried to figure 
out his location. An avid swimmer, he moved like a shark in 
the water. Swiftly, silently and with purpose.

He popped up near the middle of the pool about ten feet 
away. "Ohhh yeah. Scully, that is sooo good."

She did her best to ignore the huskiness of his voice. His 
motivations for joining her in the pool were puzzling, and 
it was best not to overthink them.

Right.

"So did you find any bugs?" she asked, swirling her hands 
in the water.

Mulder did the same, watching the little waves he created. 
"Actually, and I'll pretend that you actually are 
interested, no. It was pretty disappointing."

Her eyes wandered over his shoulders as she kept her 
distance, treading water with slow, powerful strokes. 
"That's a big surprise."

"What?"

"Disappointment."

He made a funny face. "What do you mean?"

"When was the last time you were actually satisfied with a 
conclusion, Mulder? I know I'm having a hard time 
remembering it myself." She watched as his expression 
morphed from confusion to one of self-righteous 
indignation. She felt like pushing his buttons tonight. It 
served him right.

"What's with all this pent up anger, Scully? Last time I 
checked we were just out here enjoying a swim."

"Well, there are some things that need to be said and maybe 
I'm in the mood to address them," she countered. He 
studiously watched her rant. "Like tonight. I'm so hungry, 
Mulder, I could actually eat that meatloaf you so 
unceremoniously wolfed down earlier."

"Ummm...maybe I should get out," he said, hurt evident in 
his voice.

"You know...don't go running off on me just yet," she said. 
His eyes darkened. "I'm tired of you leaving me behind. 
Just because I didn't want to go watch those...stupid 
bugs." She pushed herself a little closer to him to better 
see his face. "Maybe for a change, if you want to do 
something, and I say I don't want to do it, instead of 
ditching me as always, a simple 'Well, what would you like 
to do?' may be in order?"

His mouth dropped open slightly. "Jesus Scully, I really 
don't feel like I deserve this."

They stared at each other across the trembling water.

"Welcome to my world," she finally shot back. "Not 
everything is about you. I thought we went over this 
before."

"Scully...stop."

She was panting slightly in her passionate attempt at 
making him realize the hurt she felt, the same she'd felt 
enough times before.

"Whatever...Mulder...you just don't get it." She turned and 
swam toward the pool wall. It was time to get out, go get 
the pizza, and have it all to her damn self.

Scully slowly pulled herself up out of the water. Her 
thighs had barely emerged when she felt his hands on her 
calves, yanking her back down into the water. She gasped 
and caught herself on the edge. His hands slid up her 
thighs and her hips to her sides, steadying her. She 
angrily glanced over her shoulder.

"Mulder, I..."

"You need to stop and listen to me," he demanded, his voice 
low. Her breath caught in her throat as his fingers 
tightened along her waist. His chest was inches away from 
her back, radiating heat. He pushed his lips against her 
ear and his words emanated as a low growl.

"Despite what you may think, I have never...ever...taken 
you for granted. I do not operate solely on the basis of my 
needs. In fact, I think I've been fairly reasonable about 
ignoring some of my needs for an extremely long time now."

He felt her stiffen under the hot tone of his voice. He 
held her, thumbs rubbing into her lower back. Breathless, 
she was without words for a moment, which passed quickly.

"What...needs?" Scully asked hesitantly. She felt her 
heartbeat speed up as he breathed out against her neck in a 
sigh.

"You," he finally murmured. "You...all of you...all the 
time, Scully. All the time."

She tried to turn around but he pushed his body against her 
back. He bit back a moan at the sensation of her smooth, 
wet skin against his chest. The hardness in his boxers 
pressed against her bottom and she made a tiny sound, 
pushing back against him. She wasn't sure if she was 
fighting or giving in.

Mulder snaked an arm under her own, offering support, while 
his other hand slid down her hip to grip her thigh. Scully 
quickly grabbed his wrist.

"Hold on, Mulder," she whispered faintly, the erection 
against her bottom causing a hot meltdown between her legs.

"You don't want me to hold on." Fingers traced her inner 
thigh. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, feeling 
every moist breath on the back of her ear. "You don't want 
me to stop at all, do you?"

She sagged into his arms as he traced the juncture of her 
inner thigh and pelvic bone. Her fingers loosened around 
his wrist. Her body was throbbing and aching, telling her 
what she wanted and trying to convince her intellect and 
common sense to sit this one out.

"Tell me," he growled.

"What?" she whispered.

"Tell me not to stop."

She paused as his fingers pulled at the fabric of her 
bikini bottom. "Don't..." A gasp as they inched under 
gently. "...stop."

His hand slid down the front of the clinging fabric, 
cupping her roughly. She bucked against him with all of her 
might, struggling in the tight space between his body and 
the wall. His hand kneaded her, pulling her harder against 
his groin. She could feel him pulsing behind her.

"You can call me selfish all you want, Scully. I'm being 
selfish right now."

"Oh god," she whispered. Mulder could feel how hot and damp 
she was against his strong fingers, bringing him to a new 
height of arousal. He began to part her folds slowly, 
stroking and nudging his way in. Her panting became ragged.

"How about now?" He continued quietly. "Selfishly exploring 
you...not even asking what you want."

His fingers dragged through her wetness, circling around 
her clit slowly and firmly. She shamelessly ground herself 
back against him, hanging on every word. Mulder pressed 
into her, his mind growing wild as he imagined how she 
would taste, how it would match her scent perfectly.

"And now...I'm going to slide my fingers inside you..." She 
groaned loudly at the thought. He hesitated just before her 
opening, desperately trying to take his time. "Because 
I..." He pushed two fingers deep inside of her and she 
rolled her head back on his shoulder with a moan. "I want 
it."

The sensation of his thick fingers buried into her and his 
palm grinding against her clit nearly drove her over the 
edge. She turned her face into his neck and watched as he 
bit his lip, slowly sliding his fingers in and out. Her 
hips began to roll against his movements.

"If you want to go along with me on this one, 
Scully...that'd be great...or...I could ask you what you'd 
like to do for a change," he whispered.

Her eyelids fluttered closed. She opened her mouth to 
speak.

"I'm sorry sir...ma'am...the pool area is closed. Hours are 
from nine to nine."

Mulder was off of her so quickly that her head nearly 
slipped underwater. Her eyes snapped open to the employee 
at the gate. They both stared wordlessly at him as he 
stood, unmoving.

Finally Mulder spoke. "So, are you waiting for us to..."

The employee nodded. Scully closed her eyes and exhaled a 
deeply held breath. She pulled herself out of the water, 
legs shaking. Mulder let out an exasperated sigh before he 
swam to the other end of the pool. He made no attempt at 
hiding the arousal pushing up against the wet fabric of his 
boxers when he emerged.

"Karma, my friend," he snapped at the employee. Scully 
pulled the towel around her shoulders, uncomfortably 
exposed. He grabbed his clothes and shoes and waited for 
her to exit the gate.

They walked alongside each other silently until they 
reached their room doors. A cricket chirped as they met 
each others' eyes. Mulder smiled softly at her.

"Not here," he said, searching her gaze.

"Not here," she repeated faintly, looking down. She opened 
her room door. "Goodnight, Mulder."

He hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "Scully."

She closed the door behind her and melted against it. Her 
phone on the bedside table flashed with a message. Mind 
cloudly with arousal, she picked it up.

"Hi, Miss Scully, we tried to deliver your order but no one 
was there to accept it. Call us back if you'd like us to 
re-deliver it. Thanks."

Scully rolled her head on her shoulders and flicked on the 
lamp. She immediately saw two Sonic bags and two large 
drinks sweating on her room table.

She sat down slowly, opening the bags. She ate it all and 
drank the cherry limeade.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx end part 1

Title: Selfish (2/2) (NC-17)
Author: Adrienne < davephile@yahoo.com > 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scully resisted the arrival of morning. The sun pushed 
through the thin drapes of the motel room like a guest that 
had arrived two hours early. Despite the sweltering evening 
past, it was damp and cool now, like it had rained.

She dragged her eyes open and slowly focused on the dust 
dancing in the filtered sunlight. The leftover Sonic trash 
was scattered on the table, her swimsuit tossed over a 
chair. She felt like she'd been on a bender without 
drinking, hungover from the intensity of the pool situation 
last night. A deep sigh escaped her lips as she snapped her 
eyes back shut.
 
She was intolerant of the ache that pulled deep inside of 
her at the first thought of his fingers all over. She'd 
even taken the liberty to relieve her frustration last 
night, thinking of his hot breath on her skin as she made 
herself come, moaning his name. It always felt good, but 
this time it left her emptier inside than usual. And now it 
was back, the desperate twinge of arousal in the back of 
her mind, frustratingly real.

She thought about last night's endless tirade against 
Mulder. Impressed with her bluntness, she was surprised at 
how hurt she actually had felt about his actions. She'd 
developed an expert ability to bury her feelings deep 
inside, any feelings of anxiety, sadness, frustration, 
love. Anything that might send her off her set path, make 
her seem vulnerable. Growing up around the boys had sparked 
this survival mechanism and as an adult, it became useful, 
even essential at times in her career and personal life.

Letting it out to Mulder was like deflating a balloon about 
to burst. Once she started, there'd been nearly no way to 
stop. But he'd found a way to stop her when she pushed him 
too far.

She knew his motivations for so passionately pursuing 
everything, like a hurricane blindly bouncing along its 
course. Even though they'd been together for several years, 
his patterns of behavior developed early and strengthened 
with each challenge or failure.

In that, they were the same.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mulder woke up with a calf cramp that radiated from his 
left ankle to his knee. He cringed and tenderly stretched 
his toes, his bare leg throbbing. The ancient motel bed 
creaked its complaints under the weight of his body. He 
cursed back at it and sat up at the side of the bed, his 
back aching.

After he'd left her at her door last night, he'd entered 
his room, shut the door and realized Scully had his evening 
snack. His first inclination was to go over and retrieve 
it. Instantly he'd remembered that going over there was 
probably not the greatest idea right now. He wouldn't be 
able to stop himself from what had suddenly seemed 
inevitable. And he was not going to make love to her to the 
soundtrack of a groaning mattress older than either of them 
for everyone within two city blocks to hear.

The thought of it made his mind race to how it felt to push 
against her in the pool, desperate for her to understand 
his response to her anger. His groin started throbbing as 
his body recalled her wet skin, really hot, wet, swollen...

He stood up from the side of the bed and roughly ran a hand 
through his hair. He felt filthy; when he hungrily realized 
Scully had his food and all he'd wanted to do was go next 
door and push himself into her, he'd gone on a run instead. 
He'd run in the darkness, as fast as he could for as long 
as his body allowed.

The humid air had pulled sweat from places he didn't even 
know sweated. He often ran when his anxiety overcame him. 
It pushed everything out and away. It left him with 
simplicity: Hot. Sore. Drained.

He'd arrived back at the motel and swiped junk food from 
the vending machine. As soon as he'd passed her room his 
tired body got all excited again. Exhausted, he'd given in 
to himself, throwing his clothes in a damp pile on the 
floor. He stroked himself, imagining his fingers deep 
inside of her. It took him longer than usual to finish.

Mulder wandered into the shower and turned on a hot blast 
of water. Her comments had bothered him last night. It 
bothered him that she thought he only acted for himself. It 
bothered him that more times than not, she might be right. 
But he'd always assumed she enjoyed the spontaneity of his 
actions. Maybe not all the time, but at least sometimes. 
Instead she'd felt neglected, left behind, pulled along. 
Was she tired of being the only one he wanted to be around? 
He wondered if it was selfish of him to put that pressure 
on her. The only one. But he didn't want it any other way.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In the car they munched on stale donuts from the gas 
station on the way to the airport. Mulder had been trying 
to keep his gaze from lingering too long on her as he 
drove. She was deeply immersed in The Seven Habits of 
Highly Effective People, which indicated to him that she 
was completely avoiding any eye contact or conversation. 
Because he'd read that book and knew for a fact that she 
could have written it herself.

"So..." He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. 
"How do you see it?"

Her eyes didn't leave the page. "How do I see what, 
Mulder?"

It was amusing how she always challenged him to elaborate, 
even when she knew what he meant. "How do you see 
us...together, like that?"

She dog-eared the page and closed her book. "Together, 
like...together, together?"

"Yes, Scully. In the carnal sense."

"Huh."

Scully remained quiet for a few minutes but he wasn't 
alarmed at her silence. She most likely had an elaborate 
sense, down to every last detail, of how "it" should be. It 
takes awhile to draw from that deep a well.

"Well, Mulder...in the many scenarios that have played 
through my mind..." She shot him a warning look to keep him 
quiet. "Overall, the essence of these scenarios is always 
the respect and partnership we've had over the years," she 
finally finished with a shrug.

"So no furry handcuffs or bullwhips?"

An exasperated sigh preceded her unstoppable smile. She 
stretched her legs. "Why don't you tell me how you see it."

"Well...I see a fantastic hotel room. We'd have to pay for 
it ourselves because it's not the kind we can put on the 
Bureau card. A rose petal bath for you, some deliciously 
economical champagne. I'm as innocent as I always am, 
completely in awe of your presence and that you picked me, 
obnoxious and...self-righteous me. And for that, and for 
every next touch and breath, I'm increasingly grateful for 
you in my life."

She blushed, pushing at the floormat with her toes. "That's 
beautiful."

"That's what it is," he said simply.

They rode in silence to the car rental return.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mulder pulled their bags along the glassy brown tile of the 
airport, pacing himself per usual, remembering his 
advantage of flat shoes and six inches' height compared to 
his partner. Whenever they strolled through an airport, no 
matter where they were, the pair attracted curious looks.

He'd begun to give credit to her stunning beauty and 
straightforward, unassuming stride as she kept up with this 
mildly attractive, lanky guy in a suit who always 
accompanied her. He took pride in the fact that he was that 
guy, that the looks he received from men were borderline 
jealous. What was she doing with him?

Hell if he knew.

He lightly touched her back at the baggage check, directing 
her ahead of him. His fingers strayed on the dark sheen of 
her jacket a few sweet seconds more than usual. She noticed 
as quickly as he did, but made no gesture to acknowledge 
it.

They talked of returning to the office, how the severity of 
the reaming they'd get from Skinner for their pointless 
mission would depend on if he'd gotten laid the night 
before. And then she paused, deep in some intrinsic, 
analytical thought. He watched her closely, waiting for the 
thought to emerge.

"What if it doesn't work?" Scully finally asked. He looked 
down at her and laughed softly as they moved forward.

"It'll work."

"Mulder. How can you be so sure?"

"Because..." He put his hand on her arm. "In this I 
believe, Scully. More than anything."

She believed him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Two flights, a layover and two crappy chain store subs 
later, they were back in Virginia. The time difference had 
set them back into the evening, which Scully reveled in. It 
was cool, familiar and comfortingly devoid of insects.

She did her best to avoid the underlying tension between 
them as they drove home in his car. It had begun as an 
inkling of wanting in the morning, and like a slow-
spreading wildfire, had consumed her thoughts more with 
every hour. She was amazed and slightly annoyed at how 
fear, dread, anticipation and excitement could feel all too 
similar mixed up in her stomach.

He drove up the road to her apartment building and double-
parked to let her out. She looked at him and felt her body 
gently quiver as he returned her gaze.

"Do you want to come up?" The words spilled out quickly and 
she nearly cringed. She took a deep breath to steady 
herself.

"Do you have to ask?"

She turned her head away to softly smile.

"I'm going to have to park. That might take an hour or so."

Her smile broadened slightly. "Don't worry. I'll wait."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Scully had too much time on her hands for this very moment. 
Upon entering her apartment she searched for anything that 
was out of place. Clothes, dishes, movies. But there was 
nothing to fix. Customarily she'd cleaned before heading 
out on their trip.

She wondered if she should change clothes, but didn't want 
to make anything too obvious. Maybe just change her bra and 
panties. Or maybe she shouldn't.

"Fuck," she sighed as she plopped down on the couch, her 
head in her hands. Every few seconds her mind flashed like 
lightning back to the pool, his breath, his fingers, his 
words. Every time, a hot rush flooded her body.

She was intimidated by his effect on her. She'd felt it 
before at times, when hugging or kissing each others' 
faces, hands, everywhere but where it mattered most. But 
this was so much more intense. And waiting, knowing they 
were rushing toward that moment and wouldn't stop this 
time, was making her crazy.

A tap on the door startled her from her obsessive thoughts. 
Mulder entered after his warning knock, dragging her 
suitcase behind him. "You forgot something."

"Sorry," she said as he clicked the door shut. "Where did 
you park?"

"I'm not really sure," he admitted. "I found a space and 
got back here as soon as I could."

The two shared a slight, nervous laugh. Mulder 
uncomfortably shifted his legs, resting the luggage by the 
door. He wasn't sure where to go or what to do. It was like 
he'd abandoned all of his prowess back in Missouri. All 
that was left was an aroused, nervous, extremely hopeful 
boy.

"I'm sorry. I should at least take your coat," Scully said 
quickly, pushing up off the couch.

"What a hostess," he mused as she walked up to him. "You've 
never taken my coat before, Scully."

Their eyes met and she pulled the coat from his hand. She 
stood in front of him, the look in her eyes morphing into 
deep sincerity. Her teeth gritted together slowly as she 
studied the lines of his face, wanting to work herself into 
his mind and read his thoughts.

The coat slipped onto the floor when she grabbed the back 
of Mulder's head and pulled his face to her own. Her 
fingers threaded through his hair in the split seconds of 
hot breath between their lips. Her mouth pressed hungrily 
against his. Immediately he was open to her, pulling her 
deeper as she pushed him up against the door with her body.

He growled low in his throat as her stomach pressed against 
him, rubbing his growing hardness. He slid his hands up her 
back and down again, memorizing the slight curves of her 
muscles.

They parted lips to take ragged, short breaths. "Where..." 
Scully gasped before he captured her mouth again. 
"MmmmMulder...Where..." His lips moved to her neck and she 
pushed up against him with a moan. "Ohgod...Go 
there...now."

He knew exactly what she meant as he nibbled her ear. She 
hissed out a low breath. "I don't want to stop touching 
you, Dana," he murmured against her neck.

His voice saying her name, so different from before, echoed 
through her head in new and unexplainable ways. She passed 
her hand down his arm to twine their fingers together, 
pulling away from him with a gentle smile that made his 
heart skip a beat. She'd smelled softly of a day's worth of 
travel, but mostly of her, something he'd memorized and 
dreamed of again and again.

He couldn't believe they were here, doing that, going 
there. That she was leading him by the hand to her bedroom. 
He sucked in a sharp breath as a dull throb commenced below 
his waist. She was so certain and so strong. He watched her 
flick on the light, revealing her perfectly made bed, the 
down comforter. Little candles on the bedside table. He 
soaked in every detail before he noticed Scully staring at 
him.

He sheepishly met her eyes as they stood, hand in hand, at 
the foot of her bed. She sighed.

"We should start kissing again," she recommended, her eyes 
searching his.

"That seemed to work pretty well," he replied, his thumb 
stroking hers. She glanced down at the front of his pants 
quickly and raised her eyebrows. It made him shudder.

"Okay, Miss Scully," he said, leading her to the side of 
the bed. He sat down and she stood in front of him, her 
lips parted slightly as she examined the expression on his 
face. "You can't look at me like that without expecting 
some sort of reaction."

Another smile. He was addicted to the lift of her lips. 
"Apparently, it already has caused some sort of...reaction, 
Mulder."

He laughed softly, averted his eyes and quickly grabbed her 
waist, lying back to pull her on top of him. She let out a 
small squeal as her body dropped to him. Her hands resting 
on either side of his face, she slowly lowered herself to 
lie flat against his chest. Their foreheads met and she 
grinned. Mulder took the opportunity to slip his hands over 
her bottom and lightly squeeze it.

Her hips pushed against him as she gasped and claimed his 
lips in another kiss. Their hips began pushing together, 
gently at first, a subtle introduction.

Scully straddled him, lifting up and pulling off her shirt 
in one smooth motion. She tossed her hair as his eyes 
wandered her body, tracing a few fingers over the hot skin 
of her stomach.

She watched his expression of barely hidden desperation 
with a sense of aroused accomplishment. She wondered in her 
ability to bring him to his knees. He'd beg if she let him. 
Then again, he could have her begging too if he played it 
right.

"I want the rest of it off," he whispered. The strength 
she'd just held so tightly slipped away. She unfastened her 
bra and left it for him to slide off of her shoulders. He 
delicately lifted the straps and pulled them down. Closing 
her eyes, she felt the cool air against her anxiously 
peaked breasts.

"Scully. Open your eyes."

He kept her stare for a long moment, as if asking 
permission to look down. His gaze drifted and his hands 
quickly followed. She shifted against the hardness pressed 
between her legs, her breath catching as he explored her, 
teasing with his fingers.

"You're so beautiful," he said, fingertips playing on her 
skin, his eyes dark with desire.

"Mulder, you're..." She rolled off of him onto the bed. He 
sat up, tracing a finger down her jaw. "Your turn," she 
said with an arch of an eyebrow.

He removed his shirt and carelessly tossed it aside. She 
placed a hand above his waist. Feeling the warm skin sent 
yet another rush through her body.

He tucked her hair behind an ear. "Why didn't we ever do 
this before?"

"Well, I was afraid."

"Of?" He smoothed her hair along her head and neck, 
delighting in the silk wrapped around his fingers.

"Of what might happen. Because Mulder, once we cross this 
line, I mean, excuse the cliche but there really has been a 
line. Once we go there, here...I'm never going to want to 
be away from you again."

"I know," he whispered as he traced her lips. She saw a 
flicker of sadness cross his face. Then he gave her a 
slight smile. "I don't want to lose you either."

Scully swallowed the persistent lump in her throat. She 
stood up and unbuttoned her jeans, pulling them down her 
legs. He watched her, his breath quickening. Her expression 
was thoughtful, debating if she should really keep going 
any further.

"I'm not going to stop you," Mulder murmured, leaning back 
on his arms.

She pushed the black silk down her legs and stepped out of 
it. Their eyes locked, unmoving. Long moments passed before 
he allowed himself to slowly take in the vision of her 
body, a picture not unlike the one he'd had for years. He 
stood up and slowly shed his pants and boxers.

Standing in front of each other, like hundreds of times 
before, inches away, eyes locked again.

"I'm afraid to look," she whispered. Her lip trembled.

"Don't look," he whispered back. "Touch."

Scully reached out to trace his neck, to push her palm down 
his chest. She circled his belly button with light fingers. 
She felt her muscles tighten against the ache inside of 
her. Sliding her hand down over him, she held him firmly. 
His response was immediate, flexing hips, a gaping gasp. 
She took in every movement of his body, squeezing and 
pulling at him.

"Uh, yeah," Mulder moaned. "You...can I...touch you?"

Eyes shut, she found his hand and placed it on her lower 
stomach. His fingers traced soft lines, circling her skin. 
Up around her hip and her side. His hand wandered to her 
lower back and began to circle her tattoo. She blushed, 
realizing he'd discovered its hidden location, probably at 
the pool. He hadn't said a thing to her about it.

"It's perfect for you," he whispered, his other hand 
pushing through her hair again. She turned her face to kiss 
his palm. "Can I look at it?"

She nodded, loosening her grip on him. As she turned 
around, her toes nervously twiddled against the softly 
piled carpet.

Mulder crouched down at her bare back, silently studying 
the slender, colorful snake consuming itself. He knew 
textbook what it represented but wondered if it meant 
anything more to her. He'd hurt a little, at times a lot, 
when she was so distant at the time she had it done. He 
wanted to discover her thoughts but had no key to the 
vault. It drove him nuts, so he'd hidden his hurt with 
sarcastic below-the-belt punches. She'd put him in his 
place. She always did.

He ran his fingers around it now, making Scully gasp. He 
pressed his mouth against it, one hand cupping her bottom 
and squeezing. Kissing it, he looked up her quivering back, 
freckled with goose bumps.

"How much do you hide from me?" he murmured against her 
skin. Her hands played limply at her hips.

"You can't know everything."

Mulder kissed his way up her spine as he rose, sliding his 
arms around her waist. She settled against him, on fire as 
their bare bodies nudged together for the first time. "I 
want to know it all," he said, his lips on the top of her 
head. He held her closely, felt her deep sigh.

"I'll show you what I can," she replied softly, turning to 
face him. She stared into his eyes, questioning, biting her 
lip. He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, 
eliciting a whimper from her throat. Delicate fingers 
twined around his neck. Scully pressed against him as hard 
as she could.

He tucked his hands around her bottom, picking her up. Her 
legs swung around his hips and they broke their kiss to 
gasp at the hot, pressing center between them. Mulder 
clenched his jaw and resisted the urge to push her down and 
enter her deeply. He was so needy to reach her but knew he 
should wait.

"You can," she whispered, capturing his lips. 
 
"Not...yet," he murmured back, gently placing her on the 
bed. He slid next to her, pushing his hand between her 
legs. Her knees pulled up as she grabbed onto his shoulder. 
He moved his fingers inside her swollen folds and she 
reached for his cock, squeezing him hard, making light work 
of the length of him.

"Oh...Scully. This...it won't last long...you...keep doing 
that," he said between kisses. Achingly slow, their tongues 
teased and battled for position. He lazily traced his 
fingers through her hot flesh. Then he moved over her 
gently and she pressed her breasts against his chest. He 
breathed against her lips and she pulled away, running 
fingers up his body as she got on her knees.

"Lie down," she demanded, her voice low.

He examined her dark eyes as he did what he was told. His 
mind was racing in disbelief, not sure if he should hide or 
shout to the heavens in relief.

She knelt over him and took him in her mouth, quickly and 
fully. His eyes rolled as his body shook at the hot liquid 
texture of her mouth. She wasted no time, urgency 
surpassing patience at last. Sliding, sucking and teasing 
him, rising with the involuntary thrusts of his hips.

He grabbed her bottom with one hand and pulled it toward 
his mouth. She resisted with a whimper. "Please," he begged 
softly. "Please, Scully, please?"

She lifted her head to gasp, his words tremoring through 
her. She gently straddled him over his mouth and he dug his 
fingers into her thighs. "Good girl...now come to me," he 
whispered.

Her mouth hung open with the first push of his tongue 
through her wetness as it throbbed deeply. She licked him 
with a broad sweep of her tongue, tasting him but losing 
herself in his increasingly intense exploration. She sucked 
him in hard when his tongue forcefully rubbed the sensitive 
center of her excitement. She felt herself dripping and he 
lapped it up before returning to that little spot. As he 
flicked and sucked, she started to come, moaning against 
his tight flesh in her mouth.

Suddenly he pushed her away. "Jesus...what..." she hissed, 
her body tingling at the edge of climax.

"I want to be in you when you come," he said, sitting up on 
the bed. "I need to be."

"Ah," was all she could manage. She sat up and he kissed 
her, sharing her taste. She lost herself, her body 
amazingly and entirely giving in at last.

"How do you want me?" she whispered. His eyes widened and 
he bit his lip. Then he pulled her hand and placed it on 
the headboard. She followed his lead, placing her other 
hand against it with her back to him. She looked over her 
shoulder, watching him, waiting with her thighs spread 
slightly.

"Oh god, Scully." He pulled up behind her, his chest 
grazing her back. "This is too much for me. I don't know if 
I'll make it."

His cock pressed against her bottom and she moaned with 
him. "Please do," she muttered with the last of her breath.

He slid against her flesh, seeking entrance, until she 
tilted her hips and caught him deep inside of her. His hand 
clasped over hers while the other wrapped around her hips 
to massage her. Her tightness writhed around him as he 
slowly slid through her and out, rubbing his fingers in 
circles. She tilted her head so he could kiss her neck, 
lick it, bite it as his thrusts deepened and quickened. He 
wanted to consume her completely.

"You feel so," he groaned, pushing his body against her as 
hard as he could. He left it at that.

Waves began radiating where he was rubbing, where he was 
slipping in and out of her, filling her completely and 
desperately again and again. She grabbed the headboard with 
white-knuckled fingers as she started to come hard, a 
centered implosion that sparked up every inch of her body. 
She whimpered and writhed back against him as he groaned, 
pounding harder.

"Mulder," she gasped. "Mulder, come in me...Muldercomeinme, 
Mulder," she begged breathlessly. He kissed her hard and 
she cried out against his mouth as he thrust forcefully, 
pushing her against the wall as he came with a moan of her 
name. He saw stars burst in the darkness behind his 
eyelids. Scully stars.

Scully collapsed against his strong, sweaty chest. He 
wrapped his arm around her waist. She felt their essence 
dripping between them and she shuddered, deeply primal. 
"Mulder. We're dripping on my pillow," she managed.

He laughed and held her closer. "All that and you're 
worried about your pillow?"

"I'm not worried about anything," she responded. She felt 
his pulse inside of her slowing along with her heartbeat. 
Then he slipped out of her and brought her down on the bed 
beside him. He traced her side with his fingers.

"I don't want you to ever worry about anything," he finally 
murmured.
 
"That's impossible," she whispered, searching his eyes.

Mulder kissed her softly as if she might break. Their hands 
pushed together, clinging tightly.

He had so many questions to ask her. What do you want? What 
can I do? Do you love me? Her breathing slowed as she 
nuzzled into his shoulder. With every resolution came a 
dozen more questions. It would take time to answer them. He 
would have to accept that.

"Are you going to sleep?" she whispered onto his skin.

"Are you?"

"Mmm. I could." She stretched her legs out, pointing her 
toes.

"Do you want me here? Still?"

Scully pulled her face away from him, her sleepy eyes 
rolling with her smirk. "Get under the covers, Mulder. 
Don't make me tell you twice."

Their bodies separated for as brief of a time as it took to 
slither under her soft sheets. She immediately snuggled up 
against him, her body slippery and worn. 

"Scully?" He murmured against her hair.

"Yeah?"

"I think my head's in the wet spot."

She laughed softly. "Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

"Flip the pillow over and put me to sleep."

He did as he was told.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx end