Date: Tue, 23 Mar 1999 18:12:23 -0500 Subject: NEW: Seven Year Itch 1/2 by Suzanne Schramm Title: Seven Year Itch Author: Suzanne Schramm E-mail: sister_suze@yahoo.com Rating: R Classification: MSR Spoilers: Through "Arcadia". Distribution: Gossamer. Everyone else please let me know where it's going. Summary: Sequel to "Dividends." Another late night conversation as Mulder and Scully sort through their feelings. I adhere to the *original* dates of the show - Mulder and Scully started working together in March 1992 so this March marks seven years together. This story will make more sense if you read "Dividends" first (which can be found at http://www.alanna.net/sue ) Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this story are not mine. They belong to Chris Carter and the rest of the gang at Ten-Thirteen Productions. No infringement was meant in using them. Special thanks to my betas (Susanne, Sharon, Rachel, Dasha and Alanna) who love me even when I'm not writing. I don't think I'd still be smiling after the past few weeks if it weren't for you all. A wink and a nod to Sharon for her singular advice on writing smut from Mulder's POV. I lay this story before the altar of the divine Susanne Barringer with endless gratitude and much virtual love. Not only did you support me through a rough personal time, but your unfailing enthusiasm and encouragement got me off my butt and writing again. I owe you everything and you owe me nothing. ***** I've been trying for nearly an hour but I can't make sense of the file in front of me. It doesn't matter, I can't concentrate. Scully's motel room is right next to mine and I've been listening to her shower running for the past ten minutes. I'm not actually contemplating her naked, as such, I'm just searching for a way to put things right again. Scully takes care these days to keep her distance from me, ever since the night she dropped her defenses and kissed me. /"Do you think you'll ever kiss me Mulder?"/ That question has repeated in my head for nearly three months now. In a single night the dynamics of our relationship changed. When I awoke the next morning she had already slipped out of my bed, out of my arms, and left me. I found her sitting alone in the hotel's dining room, not really taking advantage of the complimentary continental breakfast. She looked up at me and smiled as I approached but the smile didn't reach her eyes. /"God, Mulder, don't let me say any more. I'm going to regret this in the morning."/ I had wanted to ask her if she regretted the night before but the words wouldn't come. Instead I went through the motions, chewing mechanically and staring out the window. We've eaten in silence many times, but it had rarely been this uncomfortable before. She regretted it. In the cold light of day, sober and rested, Scully made the unilateral decision that we should not be more than partners. Like so many of the other important events in our partnership, we never discussed it. Nothing has been the same since and it seems like all I do is push her away in an attempt to hold onto my pride. To prove to her that it didn't mean anything to me either. That I could ignore it as easily as she had. To drive the point home I even chose Diana over her and accused Scully of making it personal. /"Because it is personal, Mulder. Because without the FBI, personal interest is all that I have. And if you take that away then there is no reason for me to continue."/ After she'd left me in an uncomfortable silence with the Lone Gunmen I even went so far as to search Diana's apartment. Diana was clean. When I told Scully I checked out Diana her expression didn't even change. We've been living under an uneasy truce ever since. We were reassigned to the X-Files right after that. Moving back into the office was not the joyous experience I had hoped for. It was stiff and awkward, each of us trying to keep an exaggerated distance from the other. It was a small office before, now it seems positively tiny. The irony of our first case back posing as a couple was not lost on either of us. I flirted with her, hoping to show her that I was harboring no ill feelings but she never rose to the bait. I did catch her smirking a time or two but her cool facade didn't crack. I'm not certain at this point who should apologize first. I don't think an apology from me would help anymore. We've gone through rough spots before and come out of them even stronger. But it was never this personal before. I realize now why Scully put a stop to this before it went any further. It's already bad enough, physical intimacy between us would only make times like this worse. The shower stops and I listen closely but can't hear anything. I miss her. It's rather silly, in a way. I still see her nearly every day but I miss her. I miss what was and what could have been. I hear the 'snick' of the connecting door but don't turn my head, pretending to be engrossed in the file in front of me. I'm holding my breath. Maybe there's still a spark of hope left. A few seconds later I can see Scully's bare toes beside the chair. "Here, thanks." She sets the laptop computer down on the desk and stands indecisive for a moment before patting my shoulder awkwardly. Warmth spreads across my back as my skin flushes at her gentle touch. "Go to bed, Mulder. You need sleep." "Mmmm," I answer her and close my eyes. The sight of her bare feet is fast becoming my undoing. It seems so domestic to have her barefoot in my room. With my eyes closed I can smell the clean tang of her soap and shampoo more acutely, I can also recall how she looked naked in the decon shower a few weeks ago. The weight of her hand leaves my shoulder and I realize she's going to leave. Now or never. "Scully?" "Yes?" I turn to face her. "I'm sorry..." I begin. "Forget it, Mulder." Scully cuts me off with a dismissive wave as she senses the direction in which I'm headed. "It's not important." She makes as if to leave again and I stand up. "Yes. It is important. You're important to me." The words come out in a rush since she's starting to walk away. Scully stops and faces me. She blinks at me for a moment before giving me a small, pleased smile. Our eyes meet and hold. The few feet between us fairly crackle with an awareness of the late hour. Scully licks the corner of her mouth in preparation of saying something, then she hesitates and drops her gaze. I glance down to view to her bare toes curled against the carpet. "Aren't your feet cold?" Scully is startled into a full smile. We both look down again as she flexes her toes experimentally. "No. No they're not." Encouraged by her smile, I reach out to squeeze her shoulders, bending to kiss her forehead softly. Scully steps back, her eyes wide, and my hands fall back to my sides. "I bet they really are," I tease her gently. "I bet you have the coldest toes of anyone I know." "On what do you base that astute observation?" "Cold feet, warm heart." I smile down at her, delighted she's playing along. "You have the warmest heart of anyone I know." Scully's mouth opens and closes a couple of times before she finally speaks. "Shameless flattery will get you nowhere, Mulder." "Scully! You think I'm just kissing your ass here?" I feign hurt, clutching my chest. "No, but I think you'd like to." I give a soft chuckle. "I'd settle for your lips." Her eyes widen and I think I even detect a flicker of fear there. I've seen that in her eyes before. It was there that night. Scully, always one to face her demons head-on, kissed me shortly afterwards. Maybe... "Mulder," she gives a small sigh. "I'm sorry for what happened that night." My heart squeezes in my chest. I was right the first time. She regrets it. "I told you, I didn't come over there with that in mind. I was just..." she pauses, searching the carpet for inspiration. "Lonely?" I prompt. She shakes her head. "I've been alone too long to be lonely." She looks up to meet my eyes again but she crosses her arms at the same time. Determined but cautious. "When I told you that I was trying to remember what I was like before I met you, I guess I just wanted to hear from you that I hadn't changed. I look at myself now, Mulder, and I feel hardened." Scully takes another step back, putting more space between us just when I would have reached out to touch her. "It's not just me. You've changed, Mulder. For a long time I was certain of you, of your trust. But lately..." Her brow furrows and she holds a hand up to stop me from speaking. "There's a rift here." She waves to indicate the space between us. "This goes beyond Diana and what happened at the Lone Gunmen's. This is about us." "Us?" I take a deep breath. Just when I thought there wasn't an "us", there is. "Mulder, things haven't been right between us for a long time. We're just going through the motions." She pauses and I wait, knowing she's plotting a path through the uncharted territory we just stumbled into. "You know what this is, Mulder? The seven year itch." I see an image of Scully in a white dress on a subway grate. I blink at her and she hurries to explain. "After so many years together people become restless. They start looking for ways to get out of a relationship. They start seeing flaws that didn't bother them before." "Are you bored with me, Scully?" She lets out a hiss of exasperation. "Mulder, being with you is not what I could characterize as boring." "That's the whole basis of the seven year itch. It's human nature to seek variety, most couples feel trapped in their relationship at one point or another." Couples? Did I say couples? I meant partners, didn't I? "Do you feel trapped, Scully?" Scully gives me a wary look, uncrossing her arms to put her hands on her hips, saying nothing. The silence stretches between us. I sit down on the bed, waiting for her reply. Scully's eyes close and she lets out a shaky breath. "My first instinct is to say 'no', but I'm not sure that's entirely true." She opens her eyes again and shakes her head. "There are times, Mulder, when I question why I'm still here. But even when I question why I'm still with you in particular, I never question why I've chosen to remain with the X-Files." She glances at the half-opened door to her room before she walks over and seats herself in the chair I just vacated. Somehow it feels like she's further away than just a few feet. "Do you remember when you asked me what I got out of this partnership?" she asks as she leans forward, hunching herself over to rest her forearms on her knees. As she finishes the question she looks up at me. I nod. Of course I remember. She said she got me. That was her dividend, what she got after all the years invested between us. She got me. "Me," I whisper. "Do you feel trapped in this partnership, Mulder?" Her eyes search my face, waiting to read volumes into the slightest twitch. A damp lock of hair slides from behind her ear and she tucks it back impatiently. "I've told you before, you don't hold me back ..." "No," she shakes her head, leaning back to sit up straight. "You told me everything I wanted to hear last year because I was leaving. I'm not leaving you Mulder, I'm not quitting, not now. I told you it was personal and I meant it. It's not just you. I have a stake in this too. Do you know why I left that morning?" I shake my head. I can only guess at her reasons. My pulse speeds up in anticipation even as I wonder if I really want to hear this. "When I was trying to adopt Emily, the social worker presented me with a list of reasons why I wasn't a good candidate. She told me that I was obviously dedicated to an unpredictable and dangerous career and that I had never been able to sustain a long term committed relationship." Scully takes a deep breath, her brow furrowing as she considers her next words. "For a while, after the cancer, I really tried to make each day count. I resolved to let more people into my life, to be more receptive, more caring." Scully gives me a timid smile and I nod to show her that I'm listening. "But the more time that went by, and especially after we lost the X-Files, the easier it was to become bitter and to forget what a gift just being alive is." Scully shifts on the chair, drawing her robe a little tighter around her. "That night, when I came to your room, I was lonely. But not really in the traditional sense. I had been thinking of that old picture of us I found. I was remembering how idealistic I was when I started working with you. I miss that person, I miss feeling that way. When I came to your room, I think I was looking for her." Oh Scully. I wonder how many other times she's been lonely and she hasn't reached out to me, or anyone else for that matter. I wonder how much else she has bottled up deep inside that she doesn't talk about. How far will she let me in tonight? "Did you find her?" I ask. "No. I found you instead." Scully gives me another unsteady smile. "Me?" I watch as Scully's blue eyes glisten and realize that it's not the lamp light making them shine, it's tears. "And then I pushed you away," she whispers as a single tear spills down her cheek. I want desperately to wipe it away for her but I don't dare approach her. Instead she gives her cheek an angry brush with the back of her hand. "The social worker was right. I push people away to keep myself safe. I've been pushing you away for years." Another tear follows the same path as the first one but this time she lets it fall unheeded. "But I can't..." her voice wavers and she clears her throat. "What's 'safe', Mulder?" "The money back guarantee at Price Club?" My mind is reeling. Nothing in this life is safe. Doesn't she realize that? Scully dabs at her eyes. "Nothing is. Pushing you away doesn't keep me safe. It hurts either way when you choose to believe Diana over me or..." "Or you get shot and I spend the entire flight to New York convinced I'll never again have the chance to hold you." I look her right in the eye as I say it, willing her to feel the depth of my fear of losing her. Scully closes her eyes and I realize that I lied to her that night. She looks older. She looks tired. I wonder how responsible I am for the loss of her idealism. I feel old myself as I move off the bed to kneel in front of her, lifting her cool limp hands to hold them. "I tried to say it earlier - I'm sorry, Scully. You're still the only one I trust." And I mean that. I've never meant it more than I do right now. Diana may have been there at the beginning, but she wasn't there for the hellacious years that followed. At the first hint of a better position, she was gone. But Scully - Scully has stuck by me. For better or worse. Her eyes open, still shimmering with unshed tears. She studies my face, searching out the depth of my apology. Satisfied with what she sees she drops her forehead to rest against mine and we stay like that for a few minutes. "I'm sorry too, Mulder," she murmurs. I shake my head slightly and our foreheads rub together. Her fingers slide out from under my hands and she laces them into my hair, tilting my head back. I shudder in anticipation and the corners of her mouth twitch in the barest of smiles. I can think of nothing but how it felt to kiss her and how much I wish we could get back to the point again. "Do you think you'll ever kiss me, Scully?" Scully doesn't answer me and her lips press together ever so slightly as if she is considering her options. The tension draws out between us, just as it did last summer in my hallway. I raise my hands to cup her face, pulling her gently towards me. Our lips brush over each other, just the lightest touch, a reintroduction. Hers are slightly chapped, scratching softly against mine, sending the sensation of sharpness straight down my spine. I lean forward, increasing the pressure and her head tilts to the side, finding instinctively the angle we best fit together. My tongue darts out to soothe her bottom lip and Scully's hands tighten in my hair, her knees parting to allow me even closer. My heart beats like a frightened bird's as I inch closer to her. I can feel the slight pressure of her legs beneath my ribs drowning out my resolve to just kiss her and let her go back to her room. It is a different feeling to be tilting my head up to reach her, one I sense she's enjoying as her teeth nip at my lower lip. She pulls her head back slightly, changing the angle so that she catches my upper lip. I move to kiss her back but she pulls her lips away, kissing my cheek instead. Scully's teasing me. My eyes open as she kisses her way across my jaw, only to close again as a wave of melancholy overcomes me. I nearly threw this away. Scully said she pushed people away but she has nothing on me. I alienate people to begin with. I'm overwhelmed that she's here, that she's kissing me, that she can forgive me. Scully's lips reach my ear and she whispers to me. "Don't push me away, Mulder." I can't help the groan, leaning my head forward to rest against her shoulder, my nose buried in her shower dampened hair. I inhale her essence, not just the physical, but the elemental Scully underneath. Her arms slide around me, holding me gently and she rocks slightly, comforting me. I return the gesture, wrapping my arms around her. As my hands travel restlessly over her back, marveling at just how small she is, a white hot flash of arousal races through me. I kiss her much rougher than I intended to, my tongue desperate to taste her, to taste all of her. I want to pull her inside me and keep her there as my own personal talisman. Scully responds, her tongue stroking the underside of mine in encouragement as her legs shift, coming around to enclose me, her knees pressing against the back of my thighs. The feeling of being so encompassed by her shreds what little control I still have. I pull her tight against me, my hips taking up a slow rhythm of their own accord, each brush against her pulling me further away from rational thought. Scully breaks the kiss, her breath coming in short gasps to match my own. Our eyes meet and hold as I press harder against her, letting her feel the strength of my arousal. /"Ticklish Mulder?"/ /"More like itchy. You wanna help me scratch it?"/ And it is an itch. She's right, it's the seven year itch. But it's not boredom or a need for variety causing my itch. I wait for the inevitable, for Scully to pull away, but she doesn't. I feel her foot trace over my calf, her legs tightening around my hips. She doesn't look away, holding my gaze. Holy shit. Houston we have liftoff. I pull her off the chair onto my lap, greedy for the weight of her against me. Scully lets out a small gasp as she settles against me and I echo it back to her. Scully wiggles until her knees touch the floor but I'm not certain how eager she's willing to let me be. The fact that she's still here is a good sign. I don't want to blow it by pushing her too fast but I don't think having her sit on me was the best idea after all. It seemed like such a good idea a few seconds ago, but it's fast becoming uncomfortable. Scully gives me a shy smile and then ducks her head. "Are you sure about this, Scully?" I ask, forcing myself to loosen my arms a little. I don't want to influence her decision here. Much. "No." But her smile widens as her hands move to unfasten the tie on her robe. I can't even swallow, my mouth has gone dry. All I can do is gape at her as her robe slips open. /"Oh god, this is it, isn't it?"/ /"Not if you don't want it to be."/ This is it. Tonight. Now, in fact. All the years of innuendo and double entendre and she's calling me on it. I'm feeling a little anxious and I have the sudden urge to make a speech letting her know that I'll still respect her in the morning. Then, suddenly, the decision is out of my hands. Scully pushes off of me, standing up and pulling her robe back together. "Wh... where are you going?" I wish I hadn't stammered. I stand up and even the loose cut of my pants can't hide my soon-to-be-disappointed erection. Scully doesn't answer me, busily searching for the tie on her robe. Her hands are shaking. "Scully," I reach forward, grasping the recalcitrant tie and handing the end to her. "I'm sorry..." "Mulder, please, no more apologies tonight." Her robe tied she heads for her room. I just stand there, fool that I am, and let her go. When she reaches the half-open door she pauses, her hand on the door knob. She doesn't move, her back turned towards me and I hold my breath, waiting. Then she quietly pulls the door shut. End 1/2 Seven Year Itch 2/2 by Suzanne Schramm "Mulder, please, no more apologies tonight." Her robe tied she heads for her room. I just stand there, fool that I am, and let her go. When she reaches the half-open door she pauses, her hand on the door knob. She doesn't move, her back turned towards me and I hold my breath, waiting. Then she quietly pulls the door shut. She's still in my room. God, please, she's still in my room. Scully turns to me, squaring her shoulders. "I'm doing it again, Mulder. I'm pushing you away." I say nothing, hoping my silence is invitation enough. "I just, Mulder, I've thought a lot about this since we kissed." Scully gives a sigh but her gaze doesn't waver. "Nothing frightens me more than this." Her head nods to the side, indicating the bed. "I didn't think anything scared you, Scully." I take a hesitant step forward. When she reciprocates, moving closer, my heart lodges in my throat. She's just an arm's length away. I reach out, lightly touching her elbow. "Maybe it's time we faced our fears." She gives me a small smile. "You scared, Mulder?" Is she kidding? I'm literally scared spitless. I swallow hard. "My attorney has advised me not to answer any questions outside of his presence." Scully's hand reaches out to rest on my chest. "I don't know if this is the right decision for us," she says. "I'm afraid this will change everything and we won't be able to go back to where we are now." God, Scully, me too. "Where are we now?" My fingers tighten on her arm, encouraging her to step closer to me, which she does. "We push and pull, Scully, but we never get anywhere. We always come back to this point. That's why we go through these awkward times, neither of us dares to disturb the status quo. I say it's time to shake things up a little." For a long minute Scully says nothing, her serious gaze frightening me into believing I've said too much. I can see the doubt in her eyes and I wonder if it's me she doubts or us. Then her head tilts forward to rest on my chest. She wraps her arms loosely around my waist and I tentatively encircle her with my arms. For a few minutes we just stand there holding each other until she pulls back, looking up at me and I realize that I have just been given permission. "No pushing now, Scully," I murmur, leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth. She turns her head, her lips meeting mine and parting. Her hand moves up to the back of my neck and I am a lost man. I open my mouth, welcoming her inside and reveling in the short sweet strokes of her tongue against mine. Scully goes up on tiptoe, pressing the tantalizingly soft swells of her breasts against me as her mouth moves more aggressively on mine. I can't get enough of her, of the feel of her and the faint taste of diet cola on her tongue. I move my hand so that my thumb is brushing the underside of her breast and she breaks the kiss, nipping at the underside of my jaw. My hands fumble for the ties on her robe. It's not a thick robe, but I want it out of the way. It's high time there was nothing more between us. Scully seems driven by the same purpose as she unbuttons my shirt. We both step back, shrugging off our clothes. Scully's wearing dark green pajamas and when she moves closer to me again the silk brushes against my bare skin. Her eyes trace over my chest slowly, buying each of us a few moments to catch our breath. I put my hands on her hips, just holding her lightly while she takes a slow inventory of me. "Mulder," she murmurs, lifting her face to give me a mischievous smile as her hands slide slowly up, her fingers squeezing my shoulders gently to signal that it's my turn. I kiss her forehead, cupping her face in my hands as I have so many times before. When she opens her eyes I study them, wanting her to be absolutely certain before we take that final leap. Love you. Scully, I love you. Her eyes widen, understanding me even when I don't say the words out loud. I let my hands slide down, tracing the vee formed by the top of her pajamas with my finger. Scully takes a deep breath, her head tilting back as she exhales and I bend to kiss the point of the vee. Her skin is flushed already and smells faintly like almond soap. I dart my tongue out to taste her, reveling in the muted sound of pleasure she makes and the way her fingers tighten on my shoulders. I slide one hand around her to support her as I tip her back further so that I can nuzzle her breasts. She doesn't protest, doesn't tense, doesn't pull away when my hand finally closes over her breast. My thumb searches for and finds the jutting edge of her nipple. "Oh," she breathes as I give it a gentle pinch. I straighten us, bringing both my hands to unbutton her top. Scully looks down, apparently as entranced with watching my shaking fingers work loose her buttons as I am. When the last button is free we both tug at her top to remove it. It flutters unnoticed to the floor as she steps close enough that the heat of her skin warms mine. I lift my hand to cover her breast again, but I'm hesitant. This is usually when I wake up. Scully leans forward, placing a kiss in the middle of my chest, her lips lingering. I tilt her chin up and kiss the tip of her nose. "Still scared?" she asks in a husky whisper. I answer her with a kiss, pulling her against me. Skin on skin, there is no video in the world that can compare with the live warmth and firm press of a real woman - this woman. As the kiss deepens Scully writhes slowly in my arms. The sway of her breasts against my chest and the friction of her stomach against my groin drive a low faltering groan out of me. I guide her backwards, towards the bed but she doesn't relinquish my mouth as she drops to the mattress, pulling me with her. I remember the night we first kissed, how I hoped that for just one blissful moment, I could have Scully beneath me, arching up against me. I thought I'd found paradise when she really did. I was wrong, this is better. I've been given free license. I kiss my way slowly down her neck, tracing runes with my tongue across her shoulder. She groans, shifting beneath me, and a rush of power courses through me pooling in the unceasing throb of my erection. I'm not sure who I'm teasing, her or me, as I plant small kisses down the center of her chest. Scully's fingers tangle in my hair, guiding me towards her breast but I take a detour when I see the scar from Ritter's bullet. I kiss the scar, closing my eyes and promising myself that I will never take her for granted again. "I love you, " I whisper to the scar and she trembles beneath me. Did you hear that, Scully? Do you believe me this time? I love you. I look up at her face as I caress her breast, letting my finger circle her areola slowly. Her eyes are closed, her head tipped back slightly as she bites her lip. When my mouth closes over the hardened point of her nipple her fingers tighten in my hair. I suck gently on her breast, alternately stabbing and soothing it with my tongue, letting the rhythm speed up gradually until she gasps my name, pulling on my hair. I move to the other breast, giving it the same attention and she bucks up beneath me, turning us onto our sides. My cock shudders when her fingers brush across it. I feel the tug as she unbuttons the waist of my pants and I am dazed into lethargy when she unzips them. I swear I can feel the vibration of every single tooth of the zipper as it opens, ratcheting my sensitivity up another notch with every millimeter exposed. Scully pushes me so that I am lying on my back, her hands pulling at my loosened pants and boxers. When my hips arch up in surprise she slides them off me. Her hand closes around my erection, giving it a far gentler squeeze than I ever have. I groan, closing my eyes and giving myself over to her completely as her hand slides down to stroke my balls. She cups them, juggling them softly and I open my eyes to see her watching me, her face earnest as she catalogs my reaction. "Tease," I whisper when her hand leaves me. As she wriggles out of her pajama bottoms I can smell the musk of her arousal and my cock jumps in excitement. Scully catches the movement and gives me a knowing smile. She kneels next to me and traces the scar on my right thigh. "We're falling apart, Mulder," she whispers, moving her hand to touch the hole she put in my left shoulder. "Speak for yourself, Scully. I think I can hold it together for a little longer anyway." I tuck the hair back behind her ear. It's starting to dry but it's wild and curly, not at all the proper professional look she usually has. I like her this way, the way no one else sees her. My eyes travel over her body, delighting in the way she flushes beneath the scrutiny. I reach out to touch her breast, loving the heft of it in my hand. Scully rises up on her knees and I tremble, scarcely believing this is really happening. She straddles me and I exhale sharply. Hold it together, Mulder, just a for a little longer. She shifts, looking for the right angle, bracing her hands on my chest. I reach down and stroke two fingers between her legs. She's slick and I swallow hard, anticipating. Scully moans when I brush over her clitoris and I stay there, circling softly. Her legs tremble and she leans more heavily against me, licking her lips. "Wait," she murmurs, dropping down to rest her forehead against my shoulder, trapping my arm and hand between us. The back of my hand presses down on my cock and I squirm a little, enjoying the sparkle of pleasure it sends to my nerve endings. I move my hand again, finding the source of all her slickness and slipping a finger inside. Scully makes a funny little inhaling sound that does a number on my nerve endings as well. I slip a second finger inside, wondering at the tight furnace I've stumbled across and hoping like hell I don't hurt her. Scully's teeth close over one of my nipples, showing little regard for whether she hurts me or not. I flutter my fingers, pushing them a deeper and she releases my nipple, her breath coming in wet pants against my chest. Scully pushes herself up, a determined look on her face as she braces herself with one hand, using the other to reach down and grasp me. Her thumb glides over the tip of me and I groan, pushing up into her hand, gladly withdrawing my fingers from her. She hovers above me, warmth and sweetness only a heartbeat away. Our eyes meet as the heat of her begins to subsume me. Oh god, Scully, please don't stop now. I can feel the resistance of her body closing around me as she takes me inside her. I fight the urge to thrust up, letting her do this at her own pace, but it becomes increasingly difficult when she moves up, pulling away before we are completely joined. She leans forward more, changing the angle of penetration before she slides down again, not stopping until I am buried entirely within her. "Oh yes," she murmurs and I nod my agreement, unable to get the words past my suddenly parched throat. Scully begins to move, slowly at first, then gaining in confidence. I am overcome by the sensation of tight wet heat around me. I forgot it could be like this. Years of solitary satisfaction on my couch are revealed to be the cheap imitation that I kidded myself they weren't. When I thrust up Scully quickens her pace a little, shifting her hips slightly from side to side, gripping me with each downstroke. I let my hands wander, cataloging every creamy inch of her skin. I could spend the rest of my life just watching her ride me, feeling her tense as she lowers herself against me, her ass meeting my thighs, her hands pressing me down. Freud would have a heyday with my willingness to be overpowered by this woman. "Are you close?" she whispers and I realize that she's not. Her face is flushed, she's still wet, I can feel the heated fluid of her arousal flowing down my balls but she's holding back on me. I can't have that. I thrust up hard, breaking the rhythm she had set and she gasps. Without giving her time to react I roll us, slipping out of her in the process. Scully's eyes are questioning as I pull her legs together, turning them to one side. I thrust into her again, the angle tighter and sweeter, wringing a cry out of both of us. Scully's hands clench in the bedsheets as I deepen my penetration into the burning narrow space inside her. " You were pushing me away, weren't you?" I ask her, thrusting between each word. Her head tosses on the pillow restlessly. " You were holding back but there's no reason to do that. It's me, Scully. You don't have to hide from me." "Mulder please..." "Please what?" My breath is coming in short pants as I struggle to keep up the relentless rhythm I've set. Her inner muscles clench and she tries to arch her back but she can't move very far. I wonder if I've gone too far, if this will frighten her but the wild look in her eyes isn't fear. Her hand slaps against the sheets and then reaches up to grip my arm as she whimpers. "C'mon Scully, you're so close." I urge her on, desperate to see her unguarded and primal. I'm so close, I'm not sure I can wait for her much longer. "C'mon..." Scully shudders beneath me and then wails as her inner muscles squeeze me tighter than any fist I could make. I try to keep thrusting but my senses are on fire. A few short strokes and I lose all sense of self and sanity, collapsing as I find religion. When my mind clears I'm laying on my side, Scully spooned against me, my dwindling erection against the crease of her ass. "Scully?" I croak, my voice unrecognizable to my own ears. Scully sighs and rolls onto her stomach, turning her head so that she's looking at me through a curtain of hair. "Oh my god," she moans. Fear seizes me. I'm going to be waking up alone again. "Are you ok?" I can't quite hide the waver in my voice. "Oh my god," she says again. "Mulder." And then she giggles. A breathy little giggle worthy of Marilyn Monroe and I can feel the corners of my mouth twitching in a hopeful smile. "Mulder, I'm fine." She props herself up on her elbow and smiles at me. For a moment we grin at each other like fools. "I wasn't pushing you away," she says. "You were holding back, it's the same thing." She shakes her head, disagreeing with my logic as always. "It's not the same thing at all." "It is now," I tell her. "It has to be." She shakes her head again but she's still smiling. "Scully, you're the doctor. Isn't it true that every seven years we become a new person? That all our cells, everything, gets replaced in seven years' time?" "Mulder," she gives me an exasperated look. "It's a gradual change. It doesn't happen all at once. It takes seven years, or longer even. The body can't regenerate overnight." "Seven years together, Scully. I'm a changed man. You've changed me. Bit by bit, replacing the dead parts of me with something new. I don't miss the person I was before I met you." Her eyes turn liquid and dark and I press on, wanting her to understand and feel the depth of how much she's changed me. "You were right, Scully. You're not the same person you were seven years ago. But neither are you hardened. Not all of you changed. You still have the same intelligence, the same integrity, the same maddening belief that everything can be explained with science." I blink back tears of my own as I feel my heart about to spill over. "I'm the one who pushed you away, Scully. All those years, I was afraid to let you get close." She gives me a watery smile. "And now?" "Now I'm a new man. If you can bring me this far in seven years I can't wait to see who I am after fourteen." She gives me a joyous smile, her hand reaching out to clasp mine and we both watch our fingers intertwine. "When I said that I found you that night, when I came looking for the old me and found you?" I look into her eyes and they have turned a brilliant blue with unshed tears. "It was a fair trade." She moves closer to me, kissing my lips gently with a promise for the next seven years. End 2/2 Author's Notes: This is the fic that almost wasn't. It went through several incarnations and a massive fit of writer's block. After Mulder's behavior in "One Son" I was a loss to fit that ep into the "Dividends" universe. If it worked for you, please let me know. Feedback saved forever at sister_suze@yahoo.com