From: Archait@aol.com
Date: Sat, 14 Sep 2002 00:23:00 EDT
Subject: Shadows and Light 1/3
Source: direct

Title:     Shadows and Light (1/3)
Author:    Anna Chait
e-mail:    paperheart_42@yahoo.com
Rating:    PG-13
Category:  Mulder/Scully romance
Spoilers:  None
Keywords:  none
Summary:   My ending, my way.  No lost babies, no unfulfilled 
desires.

Author's Note:  Previously, on the X-Files.....I used to love it when
I heard CC say that.  It meant that perhaps something would be
resolved.  Foolish me, nothing was ever really resolved on the show.  
Or, if a resolution was offered, six more mysteries began. Ah, the
good old days.  So, a resolution that suits my philosophy.

Shadows and Light (1/3)
by Anna Chait

His hand hovered above the doorknob for a few seconds.  A slight
tremor gave away his feelings about being there again.  He stared at
the traitorous hand, willing it to stop, then closed his fingers
around the knob.  It turned, and he pushed slowly.  His eyes scanned
the dark, empty room quickly, mentally placing the furniture, the
bulletin boards and books, the cabinets containing the X-Files.  A
million images flew at him all at once.  It seemed so much larger now,
but empty and lifeless.

He turned back to his companion.  "Would you wait out here, in the
hall?  I need to do this alone."  He turned back and stepped inside,
leaving the door open just a little.

The room has an echo, he thought to himself.  He never would have
guessed.  Cleared out, devoid of furniture and files, the room had an
sterile echo.  He bent his head and walked forward in the direction of
the skylight.  Standing directly below it, he turned his face to the
light and searched the heavy, mottled glass for some clue to the
weather outside.  Judging from the sound, it must still be raining.  
He closed his eyes and let the shadows of the past wash over and
around him.  Ten years; good and bad.  That was when the FBI was his
life.  Not anymore.

It had been several years since he'd been back.  It ceased to be the
headquarters building for the FBI when the new facility was opened.  
Congress finally decided it would be easier to start from scratch
rather than try to retrofit the old building with the latest
technology.  The building was being turned over to the National
Security Agency and this would be his last visit.

When was the first time he'd entered the basement storage room that
would be his office, the home of the "X-files"?  He recalled that it
was shortly after leaving the Violent Crimes Section.  He was
occupying a desk in the pit upstairs on the third floor.  Occupying
was the operative word, because he surely was not working.  Not for
the FBI, anyway.  He was being punished for daring to request an
immediate transfer out of the Washington Bureau.  "They" had
discovered the best way to punish Fox Mulder was to put him at a desk,
bore him out of his mind doing background checks or mind-numbing phone
surveillance.  It was a tactic employed against him may times during
his career.  Take away the challenge, maybe he'd quit.  But he wasn't
a quitter.

-------------------------------

That was the first shadow.  Fox Mulder began at the FBI fresh out of
Oxford.  Distinguishing himself as a profiler of uncanny accuracy
brought him to the attentions of Diana Fowley.  She'd been at the
headquarters building about six months, doing similar work to his and
gradually they drifted together.  Lunch led to dinners, dinners to
weekends and they were soon involved with each other in more than just
a professional way.  He was never sure he loved Diana, but he did feel
something.  Not the incredible passion he'd shared with Phoebe, but
certainly there was heat.

As quickly as the heat flared into flame, it fizzled.  It ended.  She
was transferred.  He was never sure to where, vagueness was an art
form as practiced by Agent Fowley.  In retrospect, she'd probably been
forced to go by "them".  Whoever it was that pulled the strings on
C.G.B. Spender maneuvered her away from him and she went without a
fight.  In any case, whatever it was that took her away was more
important to her than he was.

And that was fine, because there was a Dana Scully in his future.  
This was to be the most important alliance of his life.  She'd been
the one to keep his work honest, she was the tether that snapped him
back when he ignored evidence and logic.  And in the end, she was the
one he needed.  The one he could give it all up for, the one who would
carry his torch when he could not.

He remembered telling her in the beginning that the most important
thing to him was to find out what "they" knew; what they were hiding,
in the hopes that it would lead him to his sister.  But in all these
years, concrete evidence on Samantha's fate had eluded him.  Her
alleged whereabouts were the bait used in their control tactics,
either to divert his attention or to blackmail him into something.

In a perfect world Dana Scully would have been a doctor, a researcher.  
Perhaps fate kept her from this course purposely.  Although she was
good with people, she was impatient.  People acted irrationally.  
Science was not irrational.

She was too fixed and unyielding in her beliefs in the beginning.  
Time had softened that rigidity, had molded her into the incredible
woman she had become.  Strong, confident, with just the right mix of
toughness and vulnerability.  Mulder was reluctant to use the word
goddess, as it indicated a being so superior no mortal man could touch
her.  A queen then.  A queen with no country.  A woman he would love
beyond anything he ever thought possible.  And she loved him.

It hadn't always been that way.  Looking back, in the beginning their
relationship was adversarial.  From adversaries they'd become
competitors.  He'd pose a theory, she'd try to poke holes in it and
come up with a better one.  After a few years it was more a
partnership of equals.  She watched his back, he watched hers.  
Especially after her disappearance.  Death had always been a
possibility in their business.  It was dangerous hunting serial
killers and sewer monsters.  They'd stared down death a many times.  
It was his last look into the heart of darkness that led him to the
place he was in now; surveying the wreckage of what his life had
become.  Cherishing the good days and regretting the bad ones;
indulging in emotion and sentiment.

But all that was over now.  Diana, Krychek, CGB and Jeffery Spender,
all the sinister players were gone.  Their evil deeds remained largely
unknown, their names only shadows whispered among a few.  Only a
handful of people in the FBI knew the true details of the glory days
of the X-Files office.  It was in the hands of two other agents now.

He suddenly felt as if his legs wouldn't support him.  It had been a
long walk in from the parking garage.  He slid down the wall, bracing
himself as he neared the floor.  His muscles had suffered from disuse
during the abduction and his body bore the scars of "the tests".  He
leaned back against the wall with his legs stretched before him and
closed his eyes, trying again to sort through the jumble of images
that didn't fit together.  The things he remembered from his abduction
experience were just unconnected, unrelated bits and pieces, memories
of incredible pain and fear from the time he was taken into the
spaceship until he opened his eyes in the hospital in DC.  But he
remembered Scully.  He remembered every day spent with her.

----------------------------------

The beltway traffic was flowing smoothly, she should be there in 20
minutes.  She'd been late leaving the house.  All she could think of
was that he shouldn't be there alone.

She knew it would be difficult for him, but his decision was made, and
so was hers.  No turning back now.  This is how it would be, perhaps
how it had been destined to end from the first.  There were no more
surprises left for him, no unanswered questions.  In his heart his
sister's fate was settled.  He'd come to terms with his parents'
shortcomings, and perhaps foiled an alien invasion of the planet.  
The last was a bit harder for her to reconcile, but he was comfortable
with the results.  He knew it was time for him to let it all go, let
someone else who was stronger take up the work.  It no longer held any
fascination for him.

The decision was difficult, several years in the making.  After
discovering Samantha's fate he seemed to lose the passion he'd once
had for the work.  It may have only been obvious to her, perhaps
Assistant Director Skinner, but he wasn't out there scouring the
tabloids and searching the internet for new phenomenon to investigate.  
It appeared his heart just wasn't in it, and he was at loose ends on
how to proceed with his life.

And then she went to the doctor.

-----------------------------------------

She'd been dreading the appointment, and was sure that she already
knew the outcome, but she had to be certain.  What a horrible
word....BARREN.  A very serious word, a circumstance that was grounds
for divorce in older times.  It had been nagging at her that she
didn't know for sure.  Perhaps it was her age.

The results of that visit were final;  there was no way she would ever
conceive and hearing it from another doctor made it irrevocable.  And
heartbreaking.  No children.  No pregnancies.  Not that there was
anyone she....but no way.  Ever.

She remembered the look on his face when she told him.  So apologetic,
so sincerely sorry for her loss and his involvement.  And there was
something else....guilt?

"I know I should have told you before this, but you were so ill.  And
then when you got better I sent them to a clinic to check on their
viability and the results were negative.  It just didn't seem like it
mattered.  It could only bring you more pain."

"What are you talking about?"

He raised his head, looking at the ceiling, anywhere but into her
eyes.  "When we were looking into that fertility clinic business, I
found a huge room filled with vials of cryogenically frozen ova."  
Now his eyes sought hers, searching for forgiveness.  "One of them had
your name on it and I took it."

For a moment there was rage in her eyes.  How dare they remove
something so... but then something like hope sprang to life in her.  
She insisted on a second opinion.  And the news was good.  The doctor
recommended invitro-fertilization.  Fox Mulder was her only choice for
the sperm donor.  The day he said yes was a banner day.  He'd agreed,
and they proceeded.

He'd been so wonderful to her.  It was Mulder who came to pick her up
when she was worn out from the pre-treatments.  He would shop for her,
and help her with the cleaning.  He brought her flowers and spent
countless evenings watching movies with her when she was too tired to
go out.  Mulder had been as good a friend, as concerned for her health
as she had any right to hope for.

And it was he who picked up the pieces after the first failure and
encouraged her to try again.

"Don't give up on a miracle, Scully."

If he'd only known how important that statement would be for her in
the coming years.  It enabled her to hang on when it appeared all hope
was lost.  When he disappeared in the woods in Oregon in front of the
amazed eyes of the Assistant Director and was missing for more than
six months.  It had sustained her even when in her heart she was
beginning to believe he was dead.

"Don't give up on a miracle, Scully."  Don't give up on me.  The words
still rang in her head.

And she hadn't.  But he came pretty close.

His condition was critical when they'd taken him naked and unconscious
from the field in Montana.  Even now her heart beat faster remembering
how close she'd come to losing him.  She recalled the phrase applied
to a similar victim.  "Circling the drain."  One foot in the grave.  
It had taken her weeks and endless concentration and ingenuity to pull
him back from death's door, to bring him back from the place his
conscious mind had gone to avoid what happened to him.

--------------------------------------

Traffic slowed, pulling her mind momentarily back to the present.  
She hit his number on speed dial, and smiled when she heard his voice.  
Even now she was so glad to hear his voice.

"Mulder, it's me.  I'm stuck on the beltway."

He chuckled.  "I told you, I'll be okay.  I can do this alone."

No, he wasn't supposed to be alone.  Skinner promised.  "I know you
can, but I wanted to be there with you.  I'm hoping about half an
hour."

"Don't worry.  I'll see you soon."

"I love...." Before she could finish, she was cut off.  She quickly
dialed Skinner's number.

"Skinner here."

"You told me you'd go with him, that he wouldn't be alone."

Scully had become tenacious about her partner.  But he understood.  
He'd witnessed for himself some of the after affects of his ordeal,
the horrible crying and the nightmares, the fear of being alone.

"Calm down.  I'm standing in the hallway outside the door.  If he
needs anything I'll know."

"Well, okay.  I'll be there soon.  Just....don't go far."

"I won't.  I'm here for him."

She knew she could trust Skinner.  The Assistant Director had been
beside her every step of the way during Mulder's disappearance.  
After they brought him back from Montana and put him in the clinic in
DC, he arranged things for them.  He kept the wolves at bay, the ones
within the FBI who wanted answers.  They never expected him to be
found.  It seemed as if they knew he wouldn't be.

*************************** He spoke to no one for the first month.  
When asked questions that could be answered with a nod, simple yes or
no questions, he was okay.  But when they tried to engage him in
conversation, he just stared.  She was reminded of mental patients who
"zoned out".  When faced with a trauma too horrible to deal with, they
retreated inside their minds, putting the world at a safe distance.  
Scully's initial diagnosis was some sort of brain damage.  Tests were
run and results studied.  He had suffered some minor brain damage, but
it didn't account for his inability to speak or comprehend.  Her final
opinion was that his condition was psychological.

After weeks in a coma and no concrete information on what had caused
his injuries, all they could do was keep him stable and wait.  Scully
refused to leave his side during those days.  She nursed his body,
changing bandages and administering medications.  She refused to let
anyone else near him for fear of an assassination attempt.  She sat
beside him, holding his hand, talking to him about inconsequential
things.  She believed that he could hear, that perhaps she might be
able to get through to him and draw him back from wherever his
conscious mind had gone.

Some days she just sat and cried for him.  His body had been broken,
and now it appeared so had his spirit.  In light of the extent of his
physical injuries, she could only guess at the horrendous things that
had been done to him and his ability to withstand the pain.  Some days
she berated herself for not having tried harder to find him.  But she
had to think about herself.  She wasn't alone, she was carrying
another life within her, one that she and her missing partner had
miraculously brought into being.  Mulder had presented her with hope,
and what might have been her last chance at conceiving and she had to
do everything possible to protect that chance.  It was surely her
last.

She talked to him endlessly about the baby.  If there was one thing
she knew for sure, it was that Mulder would be a wonderful father.  
He had initially been concerned that a child would come between them.  
What he didn't know was that there was never any question that when
she thought of conceiving a child, there was no one else that she
thought of as her partner.  And invitro was not how she pictured the
conception.  She'd thought so many times about doing the "naked
pretzel", as he so indelicately put it, with him.  She vowed that if
another opportunity presented itself....well she wouldn't let it go by
unchallenged .  There was no question that they were bonded to each
other.  She loved him like no other.

But she hadn't been given the chance to work out the parenting
situation.  Before she could even tell him she was pregnant, he'd
disappeared.  Now, seated by his bed holding his hand, stroking his
forehead and checking his wounds, she could talk of nothing else.

"I know you can hear me, and that you're just biding your time testing
my sanity.  I don't know what horrible things have been done to you,
but you've stayed alive this long and I have to believe that it was
your choice.  Why would you choose life?"  She said, wiping a cool
cloth over his bruised cheek, then kissing the same place.  "Because
you knew about our miracle?  You told me not to give up, and I
didn't."

Would she ever see his amused hazel eyes staring at her again?  Would
she ever chide him for leering at her, or feel his steady,
dependableness?

And then one morning he opened his eyes.  She was adjusting the
intravenous line and quite unceremoniously his eyes opened.  She
stepped away, waiting to see what he would do next.  Was he really
coming out of it?  He looked around the room slowly, only moving his
eyes.

"Mulder?"

His head turned slowly and he took a moment as if trying to focus on
her voice.  And then the intensity of his gaze drew her to him.  She
placed her hand on his forehead and leaned down and kissed his lips.  
But when she looked again, she wasn't sure he knew..."Mulder?  It's
me, Scully."

There was no recognition in his eyes.  Nothing left of the playful man
she knew, no humor in his eyes.  There was just...nothing.

"We found you in Montana.  It appeared that your abductor's released
you and some people there were trying to hide you, or maybe help you,
we're not sure."

Maybe he couldn't hear her, perhaps his hearing had been damaged.  
No, he'd turned toward the sound of her voice.

She didn't bombard him with any more talk that day because he turned
away and focused his gaze on the ceiling.  Eventually he slept and she
left the room in tears.  She called Skinner and gave him an update.  
He was at her side in less than half an hour.

"He just opened his eyes and looked at me for a moment."

"He didn't say anything?"

There was a terror in her eyes that he'd only seen once or twice
before.  "I don't even know if he's in there.  When I looked in his
eyes, there was no recognition, no emotion.  Nothing."

She ducked her head, and her shoulders bobbed as she cried.  He
slipped his arm around her and she leaned into him, allowing him to
comfort her.  He was surprised, she so seldom allowed anyone to even
see her emotional side, let alone comfort her.  But these were
extraordinary times.

"Give it some time.  He only just opened his eyes."

It took two months for his mind to unlock.

                    ***************************

Skinner knocked on the door, then opened it slowly.  "Mulder?"

"Yeah?"

He was seated on the floor.  "Are you okay?  What are you doing on the
floor?"

Mulder inhaled, closing his eyes, then opening them slowly before
exhaling.  He seemed tired, weary perhaps.  "Help me up, ......?"

Skinner assisted the former Agent to his feet, noting how thin he
seemed.  He convinced Mulder to leave the office and go up to the main
floor where there were chairs and he could sit.

"Listen, if you tell her that I caved in back there, I'll...."

He chuckled.  As if Mulder would be capable of shoving anyone around.

"She's very protective of you.  Rightly so, I'd say."

"She's like a rabid dog sometimes."

"You'll get past it."

He stared at his former boss and friend.  "She sent you down there,
didn't she?"

He nodded.  "She's worried about you."

"I know, and I hate it that she spends every waking moment worrying
about me.  She has better things to do."

"Look, she loves you.  She's entitled."

He leaned his head back against the wall.  She loves me.  It was such
a comfort to know that, it flowed through his body calming his spirit
and delighting his mind.  Dana Scully loves me.  It was the one thing
that kept him going now.  That and the sweet gurgle of a baby.

(End of part 1 of 3)

Shadows and Light (2/3)
By Anna Chait

He eventually opened his eyes and they remained open.  They were able
to sit him up, get him out of bed.  By that time, she required help.  
She was very close to her delivery date and no longer able to be his
only caregiver.  But she'd learned her lessons well.  Trust no one.



Except, perhaps... Byers, Langley and Frohicke were the only people
she trusted.  When the day came for her to have the baby she wanted to
know that one of them would be at his side at all times.  She'd given
thought to hiring bodyguards, but deemed it too risky.  No one would
do except the three paranoids that Mulder knew and trusted.  She would
give birth in the same hospital that Mulder was in, and never be far
from him.  But when she couldn't be there, one of them had agreed to
stand watch.

She delivered a seven pound ten ounce baby girl right on time.  Their
daughter was beautiful and perfect, and her only regret was that the
father of this miracle child was not present at the birth.  But she
would see it, she'd gotten one of the nurses to tape it.  Someday he
would know the pain and joy of the birth of his daughter.

After she'd gotten some sleep, she spirited the baby up to his room.  
It was Frohicke's turn and he was reading aloud the newest issue of
the conspiracy theory paper.

"Hey, Scully."  Melvin Frohicke put aside the paper and went to move
her wheelchair closer to Mulder's bed.  He peered inside the bundle
she held in her arms and smiled.  "Got a name yet?"

She' given it a lot of thought.  In the end, she decided on Melissa
Ann.  Mulder would like it.  Melissa Ann Mulder.  Melissa for her
sister, and Ann was Samantha's middle name.  Yes, he would like it.

"Melissa Ann Mulder, meet your uncle Melvin."

Scully looked over at Mulder.  He was staring at the ceiling,
apparently unaware of his surroundings.

"Frohicke, I want you to take the baby and lay her in Mulder's arms.  
I want her to know...."  She stopped, choking on the words.  Frohicke
took the baby gingerly from her arms and sat beside the man in the
bed.

"Mulder, I never expected to be saying this to you, but I'd like you
to meet your daughter.  This is Melissa.  She's just born today."  
After placing the baby gently on Mulder's chest, he held her in place
with one hand, watching carefully for any signs that he was
registering what was happening.  Scully watched his face expectantly.

But there was nothing.  No change in his expression, no movement, no
attempt to touch the warm bundle on his chest.  Reluctantly, Frohicke
handed the baby back to her mother.  Scully hugged her tightly to her
body.  "That's your daddy, love.  He doesn't know you yet, but he
will.  You'll see."

With a determination she'd never felt before, she took the newborn
home to the waiting arms of her grandmother.  Scully stayed away three
days, resting, regaining her strength.  She checked in each day with
the guys, sometimes three and four times a day.  When she returned to
the hospital, there seemed to be a change in Mulder.

When she entered the room, his head turned in her direction.  He
didn't look right at her, but he seemed to turn toward the sound of
her voice.  She checked his chart, noting the elevation in his blood
pressure and pulse.  Byers claimed that nothing out of the ordinary
had happened.  But he definitely seemed agitated.

Was it possible that he'd missed her?  She'd been gone nearly five
days.  Had he noticed?  If he had, it meant that he was in there
somewhere.  She sat on the bed and looked closely at him.

There were dark circles under his eyes, evidence that he'd not been
sleeping well.  She put her hand on his forehead, then cupped his
cheek.  I know you're in there, dammit, and you are going to come back
to us.  Suddenly his eyes moved to lock with hers.  Only his eyes, no
other movement, and only for a moment.  But he focused on her, and she
heard his voice in her head.

"Don't give up..."



"Never, Mulder.  Not ever."  She stretched out beside him, her body
next to his, sharing her warmth and her spirit with him.  She'd not
been able to do this while she was pregnant, though she longed to feel
him next to her.  It wasn't possible for her to heave her awkward body
around on the bed like this.  But now it was different.  She threw an
arm over his chest and pulled herself even closer.  She spoke softly
to him about the baby, her head on his chest listening to the beating
of his heart.  Had it been her imagination or had she heard his heart
beat faster?

Two weeks later she brought the baby to see him again.  He seemed to
be improving.  He would sit in a chair for a while and they were able
to get him to try a walker.  But walking was a way off yet.  The best
news of all was that he was beginning to register the world around
him.

The turning point was the day she brought the baby.  She had to get
him out of the hospital.  It had been four months since they found
him.  He was so close, she could feel it.  She had to get him back in
his own body, make him aware, make him want to improve.  He had to
want to make it happen.

"Look who I have here, Mulder.  It's Melissa.  She's come to see her
daddy."

She removed her baby from the blanket wrappings and removed her hat.  
Melissa woke and briefly looked around.  Scully changed her diaper,
then turned to face Mulder.

He was seated in a chair beside his bed, facing an open window.  
"Okay, Mulder.  I want you to get to know your daughter."  She placed
the baby in his lap and was amazed to see that his arms came forward
to cradle her.  Slowly, he looked down at what he held in his arms.  
Scully stared in amazement.  He held her close to him for five minutes
or more, then raised his eyes to meet Scully's.  His eyes were full of
tears.  She gasped and clutched his shoulders.

"I knew it!  Mulder, this is Melissa, our miracle baby.  She's three
weeks old now, born right here in this hospital."

Elated with this first sign of success, she sat beside him on the arm
of the chair, ready in case he should suddenly lapse back into himself
and drop the baby.  Miraculously, he held his daughter for half an
hour.  Scully hovered, her heart as near to breaking as it had ever
been.

She returned each day to find him waiting for them.  Soon he was
holding his arms out, as if asking to hold her.

Then the day came for him to leave the hospital.  His body had healed
and he needed physical therapy, but he could do that at home.  
Except, he didn't have a home anymore.  She'd packed up his apartment
and put his things in storage.

Scully knew that she could not care for an infant and an invalid by
herself.  She needed to find some help.  But whom could she trust?

She was discussing it with Frohicke when she heard the baby crying.  
Mulder was balancing her on his knee when she burst into tears.  
Before Scully could get to him to take her, he had moved her to his
shoulder and was rubbing her back and cooing into her ear.  She and
Frohicke stared at each other.



"Mulder?"



"She's crying..."  His voice was raspy, but he was speaking.  "Why is
she crying?  Don't cry Melissa."

He looked up at Scully, then Frohicke.  "Who is he?"

"Don't you remember Frohicke?  He's been here with you all this time."

"I know."

She smiled through her tears.  "Would you like me to take her now?  
She may be hungry."



"Can I....?"



Frohicke reached over and pulled the baby's bottle from the large tote
bag and handed it to him.  As if he knew exactly what to do, he
cradled her in one arm and held the bottle to her waiting mouth.  
Scully slipped from the room and went for some air.  It was as if the
burden of the baby and caring for him came crashing down on her.  She
suddenly couldn't breath and needed to get out.

She cried again.  She did that a lot .  Maybe everything was going to
get better now, she thought.  There was a long way to go and some very
serious decisions to make, but she could face them if she had Mulder,
the real Fox Mulder, with her participating in them.  When she
composed herself, she returned to his room to find him still holding
baby who was fast asleep on his shoulder.

"I can take her if you like."

He smiled at her and her heart melted.  It had been so long since she
had been charmed by that smile.  Nearly a year.

Scully returned Melissa to her portable crib.  When she was sure that
she was sleeping, she turned to him.  She wanted to grab him and kiss
him and tell him how much she had missed him and worried about him.  
But her doctor instincts kicked in first.  She pulled a chair up and
sat in front of him.

"Can you tell me your name?"

"Fox William Mulder."

"Do you know who I am?"

He smiled again, that crooked half-smile, the one he used when he
joked around with her.  "Florence Nightengale?  No, just kidding.  
Dana Scully, doctor Scully.  And he's Frohicke."

She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it.  She wanted to believe
he was back, but what if he'd just assimilated all the stuff she'd
told him in the past four months?

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

His eyes narrowed, then darted to the window.  "NO!  I don't want to!"  
His hands flew to his ears and he covered them as if blocking out
terrible sounds.

"No, no, Mulder.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to.  
I'm just trying to find out how much you remem....how much you know
about your life."

She stroked his hair reassuringly, trying to calm him, taking his
hands from his ears and gripping them in hers.  "There's no one here
who will hurt you, I won't let that happen.  Do you remember how you
met me?"



"I....I remember mosquito bites?  Does that make any sense to you?"

She smiled gently at him.  "Actually, it does.  On our first case
together I got some mosquito bites and I was afraid they were
something else.  You reassured me they were only bites."  She
remembered being so relieved they were not marks like other alleged
alien-abductees that she'd thrown herself into his arms.  And he'd
held her, and they talked all night about his goals in the FBI.  It
had been on that night he'd first shared the story of the abduction of
his sister.  It was also that night that she began to suspect he was a
real nut-job.  Aliens took his sister?  Who could have known where
that case in Oregon would have led.  Full circle and back again,
countless times into the shadows and back into the light.

An overwhelming sense of relief flooded her body.  He would be all
right.  His mind at least.  He would regain his memory and together
they would work on restoring his body.  Maybe everything would work
out after all.

"How would you like to get out of here for a while?  I think if we
could get you into a pair of pants and some shoes we could get you
outside into the sun.  Are you up for that?"

He nodded in agreement.  With assistance from Frohicke they had him
dressed and into a wheelchair.

"Would you stay with Melissa?"  She asked their friend and he nodded.  
She knew that Frohicke would guard the baby with his life.

"Happy to.  Welcome Back, Mulder."

------------------------------------

It was a warm April day, the sun high in the sky against a brilliant
turquoise backdrop.  She handed him her sunglasses and wheeled him
around for awhile before pulling up next to a bench.  It occurred to
her that this may be the first time in nearly a year that he'd been
outdoors.  Her heart broke for him, for the time he'd lost and the
unknown things that had been inflicted on his once strong body.

"Where have I been, Scully?  What happened to me?"

She shook her head, and Mulder marveled at the brilliance of her hair
in the sunlight.  Instinctively he reached over to touch it, to let
the silky ends fall through his fingers.  She closed her eyes, and
enjoyed his touch briefly before responding.  "I don't know...I was
hoping you could tell me.  But right now it doesn't matter.  You'll
remember when you're ready.  And if it's bad, we'll face it together.  
I do know that you're body is in bad shape.  Internally, you've
suffered some damage that may not heal.  Your muscles have been
altered somehow...I haven't had time to really study that yet.  But I
think we can help you with a physical therapist."



"How long...how long has it been?" his voice cracked.  His eyes
registered great fear and he clutched his robe tighter around his
body.



"Nearly a year....are you sure you want to hear this now?  It can
wait, you know."

He took her hand in his, staring at it, turning it over, then
clutching it to his chest.

"I'm scared, but I need to know."

She told him the whole story of all the things that happened since his
disappearance.  Doggett and Reyes, and the scare with the doctor at
the fertility clinic.  She explained how they came to find him, that
it was Doggett who continued the relentless search when she was unable
to.  And he wanted to know absolutely everything about Melissa.



"I...I didn't know I was pregnant when you went with Skinner to

Oregon.  I found out after they put me in the hospital.  I never got
to tell you."

"Well, I guess that second try worked, huh?.  She's beautiful, you
know?"  His smile was radiant with pride, and she agreed.

"She comes from good stock.  I gave her Samantha's middle name.  
Someday when we get you home and you're up to it, I taped the whole
birth.  You can watch her being born."  Their eyes locked and held,
reinforcing the bonds between their hearts.  Suddenly, the anxiety she
had suffered over the past year, all the things she had faced alone,
the fear that he might never return and the loneliness backed up on
her and her shoulders began to shake.  She dipped her head, letting
her hair fall over her eyes and tried to compose herself.  The last
thing he needed was to assume any burden of guilt for her feelings.



"Scully.....are you crying?" he asked her, trying to push her hair
away.  She was crying and he knew it.

"Come here."  He reached for her hand and pulled her off the bench and
into his lap.  They held each other and cried for a while, sharing
tears for the things they had lost and the time they had wasted.

Scully heard the clatter of heels against pavement, and looked up to
see her mother charging at them.  She quickly scrambled off his lap
and wiped her eyes.  Margaret Scully stopped in front of him,
inspected him head to toe, then leaned in and kissed his cheek.  "How
do you feel?"

"Well, happy to be among the living, for one thing.  It's wonderful to
see you Mrs. Scully.  You're looking well."

She laughed out loud.  "Charming, as ever.  You had me worried, Fox.  
Did you see your daughter?  Isn't she amazing?"

He was overcome with the thought of being someone's dad.  They had
talked a little about it before...but nothing had really been settled.  
None of that mattered now.  The only thing that mattered was Melissa.



"She is beautiful...." He sighed, shaking his head.  Hard to believe
something so beautiful sprang from his DNA.

Scully stood, and looked down at him.  "And probably hungry again.  
Do you want to go in?  Maybe Mom would stay out here with you if you
want."  She hoped that there wasn't anything anxious in her voice.

He indicated he was happy to stay outside if Maggie would stay with
him.  Scully had explained to her mother that he was never to be left
alone.  Ever.  She just couldn't risk losing him again.  She kissed
his cheek and walked away, secure in the knowledge that Mulder was
alive and sane, and breathing fresh air at last.  Before entering the
building she turned back and waved at him.

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence between Mrs. Scully and her
charge before he asked.  "Was it really hard on her?"  He had to know.

"What?"  She didn't know where to start, or how much Dana had already
explained.

"Everything.  I need to know if she's suffered, I'm sure that she has.  
She just sat here and cried for ten whole minutes."

Mrs. Scully shook her head.  "You know Dana.  She's put on a brave
face for a very long time, but she had to crack sometime.  Those first
few months after you were gone were the hardest.  They looked
desperately for some sign, and there were all these lies out there
about you.  And the pregnancy was not an easy one.

When Dana couldn't look, Doggett took up the chase."



"Yeah, about this John Doggett...what's he like?"  He shifted in his
chair, trying not to appear too curious.  His work had been handed
over to the former policeman.  He hoped that Agent Doggett had a heart
for it.

"I've only met him once.  He seems to be a nice man.  Not much
imagination, though, if you know what I mean."  She smiled, and patted
his arm.

"I can imagine.  Scully says his background was the police force.  
Kinda sounds to me like a straight-up flatfoot."

"Well, the important thing is that he found you."

In the years since his mother's death, he had become increasingly
aware of the relationship between Scully and her mother.  He envied
her that closeness.  He looked away for a moment, trying to compose
what he needed to say.  "I'm very sorry to have caused her any more
pain, Mrs. Scully.  I'm sure your sons will find new, fresh kinds of
hell to condemn me to for this."

"Don't worry about them.  Dana pays no attention to them and what they
think.  And she wouldn't hurt if she didn't love you.  She does, you
know.  It doesn't seem right that you don't know that."

He stared off into the distance.  "I guess I do.  We just never got
around to saying the words."

"Well, you should.  Surely you can see that now."

"I do."  He didn't try to hide the regret in his voice.  "I think I've
had enough air for one day.  Can we go back now?"

He was resolved to tell Scully how much he loved her, but not in the
hospital.  It wasn't the memory he wanted her to have for the rest of
their lives.  After all these years she deserved moonlight and romance
and he was more determined than ever to give it to her.

In less than a week, he was released from the hospital and Scully took
him home.  To her home.  She had plenty of help getting him there,
too.  Skinner escorted them home in an FBI van and they were greeted
at Scully's apartment by Langley, Byers and Frohicke.  Mrs. Scully was
there as well with her grandaughter nestled in her arms.  The Lone
Gunmen brought a hospital bed into Scully's living room, as Mulder
still needed assistance getting in and out of bed, and the rig
provided by the bed would enable him to begin to re-build his muscles.

It was great to be out, he thought to himself.  It was more wonderful
to be in Scully's apartment.  He recalled the times he'd spent with
her there, going over cases, or sharing a meal with her.  Good times,
regardless of the circumstances.  He'd always felt at home here.  Now
it would be his home.  For a while, anyway.

There was a brief celebration with champagne from Skinner and pizza
from the Gunmen.  When everyone had gone, Mulder moved himself out of
the wheelchair and onto the couch.  His upper body strength was
returning, but his legs were still in bad shape.  He maneuvered out of
the chair and slipped off his shoes.  He was suddenly very tired, and
sank back against the overstuffed pillow back of the sofa.

Scully found him there after getting Melissa to sleep.  She sat down
on the low table in front of the sofa and stared fondly at her
partner.  He needed a haircut and a shave.  She knew the barber who
lived on the other side of the street, an older gentleman whom she
always met at the grocery store in the neighborhood.  Perhaps he'd fix
Mulder up.  She also had a physical therapist lined up to begin to
rebuild his body.  Byers had installed an ingenious device in the rear
of her Explorer to grab and lift the wheelchair in and out.

His lashes fluttered open and he smiled sleepily at her.  "Is she
sleeping?"

"Yes.  You're on for the next feeding."  Without even thinking she
reached out and touched his face.  Mulder took her hand and turned her
palm against his lips.

"Come here." He said, pulling her onto the couch beside him.  She
stretched out full length beside his fragile body and relaxed into
him.  His arms held her against him loosely and his lips rested in her
soft hair.  He was suddenly aware that his shirt was wet, and that
Scully was crying.  "What's wrong...?."



She wouldn't let him see her crying, but she did respond to his
questions.  "I was so afraid that I'd never get to hold you again.  I
was so scared..."



His arms tightened around her, letting her talk, aware that she needed
to express months of pent up fears.  "I was afraid you'd never get to
see our child, and that I'd forget..."



"I know.  I'm so sorry, Scully.  I never should have gone there."

No.  That wasn't right, she thought.  She sat up, wiping the tears
from her face, reaching for a tissue for her nose.  "Listen, Mulder,
don't blame yourself for your own abduction."

She blew her nose, and put her feet on the floor.  "I've thought about
it a lot.  Who ever abducted you probably would have come for you
regardless.  It seems inevitable to me.  Just like it seems that they
may not have expected you to live and may still be after you.  You
have to promise me that you won't do anything stupid.  Promise me..."  
her eyes drilled into his with a new fierceness.

What a woman, he thought.  What a splendid human being she was.  As if
she could will him back from the dead, she had never given up hope.  
If only...well things could be different now.



"I promise you.  You're gonna be so sick of me before it's over."  He
sat up and moved his legs over the edge of the sofa and onto the
floor.  Seated beside her, he put an arm around her shoulder and
hugged her to him.  "Listen to me.  I just want you to know how much
you've always meant to me.  I know that you'd have gone much further
in the FBI without me dragging you down.  And now, God, you went
through this pregnancy by yourself...gave birth alone."



He could feel her shoulders trembling, and tried to turn her face up
to his.  But she wouldn't let him, and instead wound her arms around
his neck and hugged fiercely.  All he could do was return to embrace,
and whisper in her ear.  "I'm never going to leave you alone again.  
Never."

"I was never alone, Mulder.  I had you there, a part of you 
growing inside me.  I'll never be able to explain to you what 
that means to me.  If you hadn't found that vial..."

 

He handed her the box of tissues.  "It was the least I could do.  
You know," he chuckled as she blew her nose several times and 
raked her hair away from her face, trying to compose herself.  
"In all these years, I've never seen you cry as much as I have in 
the last few days."

She smiled, finally controlling her breathing.  "Postpartum 
depression maybe."

A silence settled over the room.   "When I was outside talking to 
your mom the other day, I realized something very important.  I'm 
not exactly a young man anymore.  Life is going by so fast, and 
you never know about tomorrow."

She looked at him, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen from crying.  Her
nose was dripping and she looked like she needed a really good night's
sleep.



"Well, this isn't exactly the candlelit dinner I would have liked to
accompany this moment, but it will have to do....I love you, Scully.  
I've loved you for a very long time.  You've been my closest friend,
my ally, my confidant.  I think you know that I've loved you as my
friend, and the only family I have left.  But I'm in love with you as
well.  And if anything should happen to me, I just wanted you to know
that I loved you with all my heart."

She didn't say anything for a long while.  Finally, she smiled at 
him and hugged him fiercely.  "I know, Mulder.  I've always known 
that.  Even though we never said it.  And I love you too.  I 
didn't know how much, or really what it meant until you were 
gone."

He held her for a long time, unwilling to talk anymore, wanting only
to touch her.  Someday soon he wanted to touch her more intimately.  
He wanted to know all of Scully, especially her body.  He'd dreamed
about her body for way too long.  He wanted to touch that tattoo...but
it would have to wait.

But he could kiss her, and he did.  He'd kissed her before, but never
like this and never with such passion.  "Okay, Scully.  We need to
stop now..."



"Why?" she asked as she planted little kisses up and down his throat.



He laughed as her tongue passed over his adams apple.  "Because, I
don't have the strength to follow through on this activity.  Now
stop!"

She laughed, for the first time in a long time.  And it felt 
good, incredibly good.
"Okay, I'll stop." She said, rearranging her clothes.  She sat up 
and moved away from him.

He looked at her confused, as if she had snakes coming out her 
ears.  "Would you mind telling me what is so funny, Agent 
Scully?"

She smiled at him, the residual laughter bobbing in her eyes.  "It's
this situation.  I just never expected you not to want to.....I just
always thought that if I'd given you the go ahead we be making like
bunnies in a nano-second.  I never thought I'd hear you say you didn't
have it in you."

He returned her smile with an evil glint in his eye.  "The spirit is
willing, believe me, but the body....our day will come, no pun
intended.  Now help a feeble man into his bed and take that voluptuous
form of yours out of here.  You look like you could use some rest."

She helped him into the hospital bed, then kissed him goodnight.  
After turning out the lights she waited until he was settled before
leaving the room.  "Goodnight, Mulder.  Sweet dreams."

(End of part 2 of 3)

Shadows and Light (3/3)
By Anna Chait

The sun was warm, as was the sand.  She buried her hands and feet 
in the warmth, soaking in the energy through her limbs.  Up the 
beach to her left she could see three children playing, building 
castles in the sand and laughing as the incoming tide threatened 
to destroy their creation.  To her right, a man approached.  Tall 
and tan, he sported an open shirt, dark glasses and held a bottle 
of beer in one hand from which he sipped as he walked.

He was relaxed and smiling.  It was Mulder, as he was before.  
Then suddenly he crumpled as if in pain, clutching his chest.  He 
sank to his knees in the sand and screamed, a cry of pain unlike 
anything she'd heard.

It woke her from her sleep.  She'd been dreaming of him, but the 
sound was real.  He was screaming from the other room.  She 

ripped off the covers and ran to his bed, shaking him awake.



"Mulder....Mulder, wake up."  She flipped on a light and inhaled in 
shock at what she saw.  He was white as a ghost and completely 
drenched in sweat.  His screaming stopped and was replaced by 
tears of agony.   She got on the bed with him, holding his upper 
body in her arms as he sobbed and clutched at her.  After what 
seemed an eternity, his crying stopped, but his chest heaved 
violently.  She stayed with him, his head and shoulders in her 
lap as she stroked his hair, soothing him as she would a child.  
Eventually he fell into a deep sleep and she returned to her bed 
shaken.  Whatever prompted this display was powerful and it 
frightened her.  Maybe he was subconsciously remembering what 
happened to him during his abduction.

She awoke to more crying, but this crying she recognized as the 
famished wailing of her daughter.   He'd said he would take the 
next feeding, but he was deeply asleep and needed his rest..  She 
retrieved her daughter and sat in the new rocker in the living 
room.  As Melissa greedily suckled at her breast, she wondered 
again at what had prompted the screaming and the crying from the 
man asleep across the room.  Her heart broke for him, so 
tormented by unwanted memory.   Would he continue to be disturbed 
by such awful nightmares?

The next morning she sat at her computer and recorded the 
previous days memories in her journal.   She worried about the 
violent nightmare.  Did she want to talk to him about it?  She  
wouldn't press him on it, but she also knew that it wasn't the 
last of it.  She wasn't sure she could bear to hear about the 
horrible things that had been done to him.  The horrible scars on 
his body told a frightening story that she could only imagine.

A soft knock on the door interrupted her train of thought.  
"Scully?"

The door opened and he wheeled himself in.  "Whatcha' doin?"  He 
wheeled himself to the desk and stopped beside her.

"Catching up."  She looked at him, noticing the puffy eyes and 
dark circles.  She reached out to tenderly stroke his cheek.  
"When did the nightmares start?"

"Couple of weeks ago."  He reached for her hand and squeezed.  
"I'm sorry.  I know you need your rest, and I..."



She moved off the chair and into his lap, curling her arms around his
neck and resting her cheek against his hair.  "You don't have to
apologize.  I can only imagine what....well, I'm glad I heard you.  
Maybe we need to get you a sedative to help you sleep?"

"Maybe."  He said, his voice brittle, and so sad.  Would things 
ever be all right again?  He wondered if he could ever be the man 
he was.

"Listen, one day at a time, partner.   We can do this, together.  
Come on, I need coffee before the baby wakes up."

At the mention of his daughter, his face lit up and his lips 
curled into a smile.  "I was in there watching her sleep.  She's 
an angel, alseep, isn't she?"

"Yes.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to express to you how much it
means to me that you gave me this miracle..."  her tear- thickened
voice cracked, and she stopped to gain control.

Mulder placed a hand on her cheek and leaned forward to kiss her 
lips softly.  "I know what it means to you, because I know how 
much it means to me."

They sat there in her room for a while, holding each other 
tightly, letting the feelings they were exploring settle.  They 
were happy just to sit together not talking, until Melissa began 
demanding attention from the other room.  Mulder insisted on 
going, leaving Scully to make the coffee.

He wheeled in to the kitchen with Melissa strapped to his chest 
in a baby sling.  "This thing is pretty handy.  I was wondering 
how I would get her out here, then I found this.  Did I do it 
right."

"Just perfect."  She beamed at them, checking the setup.

"I changed her and we had a little chat.  She told me we need to 
rethink the curtains in her room."

"Did she?  Well, she's entitled to her opinion, I suppose.  Now, 
Missy, are you hungry?"

Mulder had removed her from her confinement, and held her in his 
lap.  He watched Scully's face as she leaned down and adjusted 
the blanket.  The woman positively glowed all the time now.  
Scully the Mom was more beautiful than before.  Something had 
changed inside her that made her even more attractive to him, if 
that were possible.  He'd always desired her physically, a man 
would have to be blind not to appreciate the package.  But his 
desire for her had gone so far beyond that now.  He loved her 
spirit, her soul; whatever it was inside her that made her Dana 
Scully was so incredibly beautiful it radiated from her like neon 
and he wanted nothing more than to bask in the glow of the light

She took the baby and settled into a chair and opened her robe.  
Mulder stared in wonder as his daughter's little bow mouth sought 
the source of her nourishment and attached itself to Scully's 
breast.  Wonder and envy welled up in him.  Scully raised her 
eyes and smiled mischievously at him, knowing exactly where his 
train of thought had gone.  She winked at him, letting him know 
that his turn would come soon.  

"I didn't know you were breast feeding.  You never did that in the
hospital....you had bottles."



"Breast pump.  I don't enjoy doing this in public, but I know 
it's best for the baby to have the breast milk.  Why don't you 
get us some coffee?"

He returned with two steaming cups trying not to stare, but then 
wondering why he felt that way.  He'd fantasized about Scully's 
breasts long enough.   Now he could compare fantasy to reality.  
"So, what's up for today?"

"I have a few errands to run, and I thought we could get you a
haircut.  My neighbor across the street has a shop...will that be
okay?"



"Yeah.  I guess I'm looking pretty shaggy, huh?"

She raised that mysterious eyebrow in his direction.  "A little.  
Then after, I thought we'd go for a walk.  It's going to be a 
lovely day.  Tomorrow, the therapist is coming to get you 
started."   The sooner he got out of that chair, the better. 

She shared some of her immediate concerns with him.  He needed to 
make an appointment with his doctor.  She had overseen his 
treatment in the hospital, but she didn't have privileges at any 
hospital.  He needed more care than she could give him.  

She removed the baby, closed her robe and stood up.  "I'm going 
to shower now.  Will you watch her?"

"Gladly.  Come on, you..." he said, taking the baby from her.  
Scully wheeled them back into the living room before heading for 
the bathroom.  

After everyone had showered and dressed, they packed up for a 
walk through the neighborhood.  Mulder pushed the baby in the 
stroller and Scully pushed Mulder.  At the corner of the main 
street near her apartment, she wheeled him into the barber shop.   
Mr. Anthony washed and cut Mulder's hair while she watched, 
happier than she'd been in a long time.  It was the little things 
she'd missed about him.  They way his hair spiked up in the back 
when it was really short, the funny thing he did with his lips 
when he was imitating her, the trail of sunflower seed shells he 
left behind wherever he went.  But most of all she missed talking 
to him; about nothing and everything.  His sense of humor and his 
ability to make the best of a bad situation.  She missed his 
phony bravado and most of all his gentleness.  

Sitting in the nearby coffee shop, it was Mulder's turn to watch 
her.  It occurred to him that he was now living with the woman he 
loved, and they'd never been on a date.  He'd have to remedy that 
soon.  How different this woman was from the one he'd accused of 
being sent to spy on him so many years ago.  That woman was all 
spit and polish, the by-the-book-Scully.  Fresh faced and eager, 
she'd taken all he dished out, molded it somehow around her 
science, and come up with some clever, inventive explanations for 
things.  She had amazed him, frequently amused him, and always 
kept him guessing.  

 This Dana Scully was wiser, less eager, a bit sad sometimes, but 
solid as a rock.  She had an inner strength that lit the shadows 
they'd lived in.

**************
His progress was measured in small steps, day by day.  His lack 
of major progress depressed him.  He was able to walk now from 
room to room.  The physical therapy was working, but all the 
changes left him deep inside himself too often.  He was talking 
less, brooding more.  

And the nightmares continued.  It took two weeks for him to 
graduate from the hospital bed to Scully's bed.  "I can't have 
you waking the whole building, Mulder.  I want you near me."

Ashamed of his nocturnal terrors, he turned away from her 
suggestion at first.  It wasn't until she persuaded him that 
there might be other potential rewards to be had by sharing her 
bed that he agreed.  



"You realize of course that maybe..I mean, what if.... all the
equipment doesn't work."  He sounded so sad, it was all she could do
not to drag him into the bedroom now and take him for a test drive.

She smiled at him and moved into his lap, curling her compact 
body into his.  She maneuvered her hands under his shirt and 
smoothed the skin of his chest with her hands.   She planted her 
lips onto the base of his throat, and trailed little kisses up to 
his jaw.  When she reached his ear, she nipped his earlobe and 
before he could say anything captured his lips with hers.  His 
arms wrapped tightly around her and he kissed her deeply, in a 
way he'd wanted to for a long time.  And all the while Scullly 
squirmed in his lap, spinning a web of seduction as cleverly as 
any spider.  

"So, can we assume that everything's in good working order?"  She 
said, moving off him and letting her hands linger in his lap.

He looked at her hands where they lay over his zipper, then up at 
her face.  A wicked grin found it's way to his lips.  "I'd say 
that there's every chance that any efforts in that area will have 
a successful outcome."

"Glad to hear it.  I had every confidence in you."

That afternoon, Byers and Langley came and removed the hospital 
bed bed from Scully's living room.

****************************
She left him alone for the first time that afternoon.  She had a 
doctor's appointment and he volunteered to stay with the baby.  
She made him promise repeatedly to keep the cell phone handy and 
the baby within his field of vision.

"Look, if you're going to worry like this, I take it back.  Maybe 
you'd better get someone to stay with us after all."

He sounded petulant now.  She supposed she was being over-
cautious.  But they'd come too far to let anything destroy their 
dreams for the future.

"No, I think it's time.  And I don't mean to sound like I don't trust
you.  I do, and you know that.  But we also know what can happen when
we get careless."



"We haven't seen anyone around here=E2=80"no evidence of any interest 
in us.  But I guess you're right.  I'll ask one of the guys to 
come around."

She was sorry to have made him feel small, like he was less a man 
than he used to be, but her reasons were noble.  She just wasn't 
willing to sacrifice anymore.  No risk was acceptable to her 
anymore.

She returned in a few hours to find her Mother visiting.  

"Hello, Mom.  I didn't expect to see you today."  she leaned down 
and kissed her mother's cheek, smiling at her sleeping daughter 
where she lay on the sofa next to her grandmother.
"Where's Mulder?"

"In the kitchen, making coffee.  He's doing well, Dana."

He was indeed, she thought.  Standing with his back to her at the
kitchen sink, washing a few things.  She went to him, wrapped her arms
around his waist and pressed her body against his.  He was warm and
she thought she felt him chuckle.



"Maggie, I told you...Dana's due home any minute."



She laughed and ducked under his arm, coming up directly in front of
him, this time winding her arms around his neck.  He lifted her onto
the edge of the sink and leaned in and kissed her.  He kissed each
eye, then dropped several soft little kisses on her lips.  She heard
him groan as she wrapped her legs around him.

"How did your appointment go?" He asked, tracing a line across 
her shoulder blade with one finger, then brushing his hand 
lightly across the tantalizing cleavage exposed by the soft pink 
sweater she wore.

"I'm doing just fine.  And Dr. Stuart says I can resume my sex 
life now."

He backed away in feigned shock.  "You have a sex life?"

"Well," she said and raised an expressive brow of her own, "I 
will have, soon, won't I?"

"How soon can we get rid of your mother?"  He asked, returned with one
step to his former position.

From behind them they heard a giggle.  "Your mother will be leaving
now.  I guess your appointment went well?"

She watched Mulder blush and hang his head.  He let Scully go 
then leaned over the sink in complete embarrassment.  Scully 
moved away from him and tried not to laugh.  

"You don't have to go, mom.  We were just fooling around."

"I know, darling.  But I do have to go, I'm having my hair done.  
Now, you two be good...I mean, well it was nice seeing you doing so
well, Fox."



When her mother had gone, Scully told him she was going to get a
shower.  Mulder put the baby in her crib, and went to find the object
of his desire.  With any luck Melissa would be asleep for hours and
the time had come.

Scully was still in the shower.  He quickly closed the drapes and
lowered the lights, locating some candles he'd found in a cupboard and
hidden in the nightstand.  Then he quickly slipped out to the kitchen
and retrieved a bottle of champagne and two long stemmed glasses.

He lit the candles and was just pouring the champagne when the
bathroom door opened.  He turned, and was greeted with an image that
would be burned in his memory for a lifetime.  Scully stood back-lit
in the doorway in a short, black satin slip.  The candlelight
shimmered on the satin as she moved toward him and slipped her arms
around his waist.

"What do we have here?" she asked nodding in the direction of the
bottle and the candles.

He inhaled, suddenly aware that he'd been holding his breath.  "Mood
lighting and champagne.  Would you care for some?"

"Of course." She said, releasing him and moving to the bed.  "Bring it
over here."

Slow down, he was telling his brain.  Calm down or you'll never make
it.  It had been a long time, a very long time.  He'd waited for this,
dreamed and hoped for so long, that he felt the need to savor each
moment, each gesture and movement.  He sat beside her and handed her a
glass, concentrating on the fresh, clean face of the woman he loved.  
How her eyelashes fell against her cheek as she stared into the depths
of the sparkling liquid in her glass.  "Are you going to make a toast,
or shall I?" he asked.

She smiled and looked up into his eyes.  "To us.  To the us that has
been waiting around for the perfect moment to spring to life.  To our
family, you and me and that sweet little baby in the next room.  I
love you, Fox Mulder.  And I will love you forever."

Mulder tried to swallow the lump in his throat while fighting for
control of his tears.  "Wow, you're a tough act to follow Dr.  
Scully, and you stole my sentiment.  But..." he closed his eyes a

moment, then continued in a quiet voice.  "To you, who never gave up
on me.  You saved my life, and before you start counting, none of the
times I saved yours comes close to this save.  You brought me back
from the dead, and stood by me.  You carried my child alone, and gave
birth to her not knowing if she'd have a father around.  I've loved
you for so long thinking I had no right to.  But I do, I know that
now.  So, to you, Dana Scully.  You are my life."

He clinked his glass to hers, and took a swallow of the champagne.  
He set aside their glasses, then gathered her into his arms and guided
her down onto the bed.  Words seemed unnecessary now.  He only wanted
to touch, and to feel.  How the skin felt at the base of her throat,
how it tasted.  How it felt to explore her body with no other reason
than their mutual pleasure.  Many times he'd undressed her looking for
injuries, afraid of what he would find.  But not now.  Now he would
know what excited her, he wanted to hear her secret fantasies and if
possible, make them reality.

He wanted to feel her hands on his body.  Not the confident,
self-assured touch of Dr. Scully, assessing a fresh set of injuries.  
He wanted to know the touch of Dana, his Scully.  Her hands in his
hair was enough to bring him to a state of excitement he'd not been in
for a long while.

Carefully, and ever so slowly they undressed each other, exploring
each new delight as it was exposed.  Sooner than he would have liked
he found himself snugly joined with the woman in his arms, and heard
her voice urging him on.  He assured her that another time he would
have a slower speed, but not today.  His body was working too fast,
and before he could get control he surged to a rather loud climax.  
When he was able to control his breathing, he assisted Scully to find
hers before collapsing onto the bed.

"Mulder, are you all right.?"  She sat up on one elbow watching his
face.  He was sweating, and his face was flushed, but that was normal.



"Yes...well, I'm as all right as I can be at this moment."



She reached for his hand, sneaking to check his pulse.  He pushed her
hand away and made a great fuss of locating a pillow to plump up
behind him.

"Look, you can't be my doctor right now, okay?"

Her indulgent smile cooled his embarrassment.  "Okay, but I don't want
you to hurt yourself."

"At least I'd die happy." He chortled.  He couldn't be mad at her.  
He'd been an invalid for so long it was natural for her to be
concerned.  But right now he needed to be his own man, expressing his
feelings and his sexuality without her worrying.  And he needed her to
be a woman, not a doctor.

"You are not going to die.  Not while making love to me, anyway."  
She reached around him and pulled up the sheet and a blanket, then
settled into his side and enjoyed the feel of his arms around her.  
His heart was beating normally now, but she knew he must be tired.  
It had been quite an afternoon's work for him.

"Well," he whispered into her hair. "It wasn't the most memorable
thing I ever did, but it certainly gives me something to reach for.  
I think I can do better."

"Shhh.  I'm not complaining.  I have every confidence in
your.....prowess."



She could feel him start to drift off.  Sleep now, Mulder.  Rest and
regain your strength and your heart.  "I love you." She whispered.

She knew he was smiling, she could feel it.  "I love you too."

*******************************

She smiled at those memories.  Was that really only two weeks ago?  
So much had changed since then.  He was getting better.  There were
fewer nightmares, he was gaining weight and responding to exercise.  
He still lacked his former stamina, but that would come in time.  
Most of all, he was starting to take an interest in his life, in their
future.  Her eyes left the road for a moment and rested on the diamond
solitaire on her left hand.  Her eyes filled with happy tears
remembering his tender proposal.  He'd arranged for her mother to
watch the baby, and reserved a table at the most elegant restaurant in
Washington.  It was that candlelight dinner he'd promised, along with
dancing and a romantic, old-fashioned proposal.

It occurred to her, they'd never really dated.  He tried to jam as
much of it into that one night as he could.  There were flowers, a new
suit, champagne and violins.  And in her opinion, it had been
absolute, sheer perfection.

"Your daddy is a romantic devil, Melissa."  She smiled into the
rearview mirror at her daughter who was happily staring out the window
at the passing lights of the city.

Scully turned the car into the parking garage, and took the first
available spot.  Quickly she removed her daughter from the car and
hoisted her into the portable stroller.  She'd learned not to try to
carry the baby too far.  Ten pounds got heavy, fast.

The elevator opened onto the main lobby of the former FBI
headquarters.  While making her way toward the inner bank of elevators
her eyes caught movement.  It was Mulder and Skinner, seated in the
main waiting area.

Mulder rose slowly and went forward to meet her.  After kissing her
and reassuring her he was fine, he turned his attention to his
daughter.  He removed her from the stroller and hoisted her on his
hip.  "Look sweetie, it's Uncle Walter.  He's come here with Mommy and
Daddy to say goodbye to this crummy old place."  Skinner tried not to
smile at the sing-song voice his former agent used when talking to his
daughter.

Scully watched him with the baby, watched how she smiled at him and
patted his face with her little chubby fingers.  And that was another
thing that surprised her...his love for that baby, and the ease with
which he handled her.



"Perhaps Uncle Walter will stay with her while we go downstairs
together?"  she asked, looking at both men for confirmation.

Walter Skinner looked doubtful, but agreed.  Mulder took Scully's
hand, and they walked together down the stairs, through the long
connecting hallway, then into their former office.  They didn't speak,
just stood in the center of the room clinging to each other.  It was
hard to believe they'd survived all their adventures.  Scully firmly
believed angels watched over him.  Perhaps it was God's way of
compensating him for his lousy childhood.  Individually they recalled
the events that led them to this place on this day, then quietly left
the room arm in arm.

In a week, they would be married.  A small ceremony in her mother's
garden, with only their closest friends and family.  After that, they
would spend some time at his mother's house in Chilmark.  She'd left
it to him, and he'd never been back after her funeral.  Now it seemed
like one of those things he needed to do to reconnect with his life.  
And he'd go there with his wife and his daughter.

Having faced down the demons in the shadows they could finally face
the light of the future and whatever it held for them.

(end of story)

Note from author:  My last story...perhaps.  It's been so much fun
writing with these characters.  I guess I've always loved Mulder's
vulnerabilities and his determination.  I've always seen things from
his point of view and identified with him.  Farewell my friends.