From: junebug@raven.cybercomm.net (Junebug)
Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative
Subject: New:She Can't Really Be
Date: 23 Feb 1996 16:13:38 GMT


Title: She Can't Really Be
Time: Anywhere in the future
Rating: PG
My stuff:  This is a song inspired story, based upon the lovely but
	  heartfelt song "She can't really be gone" by Tim McGraw.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story.  All are CC's

******************************


	"Lucy, I'm home", he called out in a Ricky Ricardo mimic.  Tossing
his briefcase upon the reclyner, Mulder made his way to the bedroom. 
Curled atop their bed, in a little fuzz ball, was their dog Clyde.  "Where
is she?", he asked the little pooch.
	With a whine, Clyde placed his head on his book.  Hesitantly he
wagged his tail, fearing the scolding that was sure to come for being up
on the bed.  With a quick scratch behind the ears, he added "Don't worry I
won't tell her." 
	Leaving the bedroom, Mulder called out again,"Dana?.  With no
response forthcoming, he made his way into the kitchen. Still no sign. 
Just a unwashed coffee cup, waiting patiently to be cleaned.  He didn't
want to think about it.  About last night.
	
	The jangling of the phone saved him from those thoughts.  Walking
into the living room, he spied their cordless sitting atop the television. 
Snatching it up, he clicked it on and answered "Mulders".
	"Hi Mom"
	"Do you want to talk about it?"
	"Okay, ......in 10 minutes.....No problem"
	"Yeah I'll be here.  You bringing *Dad*", he teased.
	
	Hanging up, Mulder went into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee
brewing.  With that done, he peered in the refridgerator, making a mental
note for tonight's dinner.  A door slammed, a car door.  Reaching the
front window, Fox peered out, checking to see if Dana had returned.  The
sight that greeted him, was one of a white Grand Am, not her blue
Cavalier.  Pushing the dissapointment behind him, his curiosity rose at
the unknown car.
	
	A tall man stepped out, a known but not enough seen brother. 
Hesitantly, Bill Jr looked at the small house.  He waited.  Waited for his
mom and step-dad to arrive.  Strenght in numbers, was the Scully motto. 
He felt the weight on his shoulders lift, only slightly at the sight of
his step-father's car.  Pulling up, three somber faces stared at each
other.  Each not wanting to face what the immediate future held. 

	Unified, they walked the long walk.  Lifting a strong arm, Walter
Skinner, gently wrapped on the door.  His only greeting to Mulder, was a
curt nod as he ushered his wife Margaret inside.
	Mulder's curiosity was quickly replaced by an unknown emotion.  It
wrapped it's cold fingers around his soul.  Slowly, as words spilled forth
from Skinner, his soul was pulled.  Pulled down into the dark abyss. 
	Denial, grasped at his mind.  Denial, that she would leave.  Leave
him and all they had built together.  With arms wrapped around his middle,
Mulder's eyes fell on the hat.  It's black floopy form, that she looked so
cute in. 

			********		
		Her hat is hanging by the door
		the one she bought in mexico
		it blocked the wind, it stopped the rain
		she never leave that one
		so she can't be really gone
		**********

	"I'm sorry Mulder.  We all know how much she means to you", Bill jr
tried to tell his brother in-law.  "I know she would want to say goodbye," 
Margeret said placing a hand on Mulders arm.  But the soothing gesture was
lost on him, as he fled to their room.  His flight was halted, as his gaze
fell upon another.  Another item she left behind. 

			****************
		the shoes she bought on christmas eve
		she laughted and said they called her name
		it's like their waiting in the hall
		for her to slip em on
		so she can't be really gone
			************

	It mixed with the denial, the pain.  It pulled at all that he
believed in.  It tore at the faith he had, in her. It tore at him.
	Turning towards his family, he whispered "Don't cry, not for me. 
She'll be back, she always does.  It was just a fight, a useless one. 
She'll be back, she wouldn't leave."  Their tears just added to his
doubts. 
	Mulder's mind shut down, all he saw was her.  Her in everything,
he looked at.  Her gloves from her last birthday.  The purse, from the tv
show.  Her shirt, torn off during a moment of passion.
	
	
			************ 
		I don't know when she'll come back
		she must intend to come back
		when I've seen the errors of my ways
		Don't waste the tears on me
		what more proof do you need
		just look around the room
		so much of her remains
			*************

	Without a word he turned, and left.  Left them, mother, brother,
and boss.  Left them to find her.  Find her in the room that held their
love.  The room that heard their passionate whispers.  Whispers of her
undying love.
	His gaze fell on the now empty bed.  The bed that would only feel
pain. 

			**********
		her book is lying on the bed
		the two of hearts to mark her place
		now who could ever walk away
		at chapter twenty one
		so she can't be really gone
		so much of her remains
			*************

	He didn't feel himself walking.  Or when he sat down.  He only
felt the book, with it's bookmark.  The one that symbolized their love. 
	Fingers caressed it, like she would often do at a intense section. 
His tears fell upon the cover, adding to it's gloss. 
	Looking around he saw whisps of hair, clinging to the brush.  Next
to the perfume, the one she wore with nothing else.  For him. 

	Mulder heard her approach, but it wasn't the one he wanted. 
Sitting down next to him, Margaret took his hands.  "She gone", was all
she could say.
	"She can't be.  Look around here," he gestured at his and Dana's
room.  "So much of her remains", he whispered.  "So much of her," he
failed to finish as the tears flowed unheeded down his face.  Tears for
the woman he loved, the woman he needed, the woman he lost.  Lost to
eternity.  Eternity's cold hands of death. 

			*************
		her book is lying on the bed
		the two of hearts to mark her page
		now who could ever walk away 
		with so much left undone
		so she can't be really gone
		no she can't be really gone
			**************

*end*

All critiques and flames accepted.  I also urge you to listen to this
song...its absolutley great!

--
X-Phile, Trekker, Nick & Nat Packer, and 

LGW #13 and proud member of the new EXTREME POSSIBLITIES!!!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~junebug@raven.cybercom.com~~~~~~