From: TBishop27@aol.com Date: Mon, 8 Nov 1999 23:07:35 EST Subject: xfc: She Returns by TBishop27 (1 of 1) Source: xfc From: TBishop27@aol.com She Returns By TBishop27@aol.com Rated: G Category: V MSR Summary: Mulder's reaction to Scully's return. Spoilers: Biogenesis, The Sixth Extinction Feedback: Please, I'd love to know what you think. As always, flames will be forwarded to that dark part of my writer's imagination that roams the night in search of victims. Disclaimer: This Mulder and Scully are mine. Chris Carter has these two characters that are very similar that he uses in this TV show on FOX, but I don't let that stand in the way of my fun. Author's Note: Okay, it's not an original idea, but my muse was too inspired by that reunion scene, and the idea that Mulder could read Scully's mind. ***Thanks to David, Shoshana and Terry for beta. And thanks to Webmistress Grasshopper for keeping up the archive. SHE RETURNS She returns to me, a shining star in the dark night of my insanity. A guiding light, to pilot this wayward sailor lost at sea. Scully. I feel her near long before she enters my room... long before she graces me with the touch of her hand. Her voice echoes inside my head, her strength and determination revives my soul, her unspoken passion tears at my heart. She has changed. Gone is the fear that drove her skepticism. It has been replaced by an even greater fear. And an acceptance of something that is beyond her control. She struggles now for an understanding of that which she cannot resist. I am both elated and saddened by this transformation of her quintessence. She believes, but skepticism has so long been her religion, she comes to me as a disciple who has lost her faith. I feel her resolve as she confronts the hospital staff outside my door. They don't dare challenge her. She affronts them with such genuine authority and purpose, they balk and concede at almost comedic speed. She is not impressed by them or by herself for such an easy victory. Her thoughts are centered elsewhere, a complex puzzle of images flashes through her mind, and mine. She is thinking about the artifact, a ship... My God, Scully! She's found the proof, the answers, the key to the truth about everything, life, the origins of humankind, the religions of the world... it's all within our reach! But she has still not found that which she seeks most desperately. This breathtaking knowledge only confounds her efforts to find a cure for that which afflicts her partner, her friend, her... She enters my room and dizzying waves of emotions emanate from her as she sees me lying half dead in my catatonic state. The shock of my condition causes anger to rise within her, a flood of hatred toward those who she believes are responsible for my current circumstance. And she blames herself for not working hard enough or fast enough, for not being clever enough to save me from this malady she knows is destroying me as it renders me more alive than I have ever been. She silently curses her perceived inadequacies as she walks courageously forward to the motivation that has sent her on this pilgrimage of discovery. My overburdened senses are suddenly crushed by the weight of her presence so close to me. The natural perfume of her body, a scent I am intensely familiar with, is once more stirring within me desires and longings I have never confessed. Oh, Scully, I've missed you. The unbearable pleasure of her voice touches my ears, and I strain to hear her utterances above the deafening noise inside my head. "Mulder, It's me. I know that you can hear me. If you can just give me some sign." I fight to grant her this simple request, but my body has become nothing more than a vessel which imprisons my mind. I'm sorry, Scully. I know how much you need reassurance right now, but you will have to continue on this road without me. I'm scared, Scully. But I know if tenacity and devotion are required to save me, you have enough of both to meet the challenge. "I want you to know where I've been. What I've found. I think that if you know, that you could find a way to hold on. I need you to hold on." I'm trying. Please believe that I'm trying. But it's hard, it's hard to battle the chaos that has consumed me. And I'm growing weaker with each passing day. I'm burning out, exhausted by this nonstop pandemonium inside my head. I don't know how much longer I have before there is nothing left but the noise and the darkness. I can feel myself slipping further and further away from the light, away from you. "I've found a key. THE key. To every question that has ever been asked. It's a puzzle. But the pieces are there for us to put together. And I know that they can save you if you can just hold on." I won't give up as long as I know you're fighting this with me. I promise you, I won't give up. "Mulder..." The vividness of her tears, forestalls all other thoughts... in this moment, her anguish is greater than the sum of all my torment. I would cry with you, Scully, if I could. The touch of her hand to mine, the warmth and softness of her skin, confirmation of a bond so strong that distance cannot break us apart... whether that distance is traveled or the result of some event that prevents our interchange of thoughts and ideas, it doesn't matter. She is still my one in five billion, and the blessing of this curse, is that now I know for certain that I am hers as well. "Please...hold on." I love you too, Scully. Before she leaves, her lips brush mine with the tenderest of kisses. If only I could respond in kind. ~END~ Life is too short to drink bad wine. 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