From: Mulder6758@aol.com
Date: Tue, 18 Apr 2000 16:32:21 EDT
Subject: Should Have Never...
Source: direct

Should Have Never...
By C. Charlotte
Mulder6758@aol.com
Disclaimer: M and S belong to the almight Chris Carter, FOX and 1013
Productions. I'm simply borrowing them.
Distribution: Yes please. Just keep my name and email attached.
Rating: PG-PG13
Keywords: MSR (sort of), angst, Scully POV, letter
Spoilers: none
Summary: A letter of the end.
Author's Note: While this is a MSR it's not shipper friendly, I
myself am a shipper and could barely bring myself to even write it.
It was an idea borne on a boring spring break day. 
Feedback: Gladly accepted at Mulder6758@aol.com


To the one I love,

I'm sorry you're learning of this in the way you are. I'm sorry that
I couldn't tell you personally, I was afraid. I still am. 

I am afraid of everything I had, everything you have always offered me.
As silly as I'm sure that sounds, I can't continue on in vain. I'm
afraid to stay, afraid to cause more damage that I have done. 

Falling in love with you was altogether the best thing I've done with
my heart, and perhaps the worst decision I've made with my head. 

When you kissed me such a long time ago, I was caught up in the 
emotions, head over heels for you, for your pure soul and charming
boyish nature. 

My heart was leading me blindly while my brain tried to process what
the hell was happening. I have led you on, I know that and I'm 
begging for your forgiveness for the somethingith time.

After reading this, you'll probably hate me. I don't blame. In fact I'm
encouraging you to hate me if it helps you. 

I'd be willing to die for you, Mulder. I'd be willing to do anything 
for you. Except fall into love with you again.

This is for both of us. Please don't look for me. You'll do better if
you let me go, and I'll do better without having to explain myself
farther.

Be assured, you have my heart and my soul for the rest of time.

I'm sorry.

Forever,
Dana. 


E  N  D