From: LilMissMulder@aol.com
Date: Tue, 2 Nov 1999 07:06:06 EST
Source: direct

This is my response to a fanfic challenge on The XPFRS Vault. The challenge 
was write a story where Mulder is picked as an ambassador for earth when 
aliens threaten to colonize the planet and he must chose to go on the mission 
and leave earth forever or stay on earth w/ Scully... and I'm warning you, 
its kinda long...oh, hey shan, this is the song that was making me cry.

Should I Stay, Would It Be A Sin?
Category: SRA MAJOR SCULLYANGST & MULDERANGST!!!
Keywords: M/S UST and M/S R
Rating: PG
Spoilers:
Summary: read it.
Disclaimer: TXF belongs to CC, 1013 & Fox. "For You" belongs to Tara McLean. 
No copyright infringement intended (yada yada yada)

    Fox Mulder sat quietly in his office, thinking. He thought of the letter 
he received from the President yesterday. They had chosen him, of all the 
people in the US, to be on the representatives for earth. The plan was to 
have two people from each country to go and negotiate with the aliens that 
were threatening to colonize the earth. But that meant he would have to leave 
everything he ever knew on earth. Everyone he loved and everything he was 
used to behind, never to be seen again. Inside of him a war raged on between 
his head and his heart. Mulder had never felt so torn apart in his life. A 
few silent tears escaped from his eyes as the image of Dana Scully entered 
his thoughts. Sure this would be the biggest opportunity to find out if 
Samantha had been abducted by aliens, but he couldn't leave Scully. The 
thought of being away from her broke his heart into a million pieces. He had 
never loved anyone so much before, he never would. She was the only person 
who kept him from heading back to the insane asylum. Scully was the only one 
who understood him. He loved her.
    The following day, Mulder told Scully about being chosen. When he 
explained to her that it meant leaving her, a wave of sadness washed over 
her. It looked like tears were forming in her gorgeous blue eyes.
"I'll miss you," she said quietly.
"I'll miss you too, and don't you every forget that," he offered her a 
comforting smile. 
"I won't," she returned the smile.
    When Scully returned home, she walked right into her room, removing her 
shoes and sinking down onto her bed. The first thing she noticed was the 
framed picture of herself and Mulder at her last birthday. Her mother had 
taken the picture. That was what made her lose it. The tears that had begun 
in the office suddenly flooded from her eyes as she curled herself into a 
ball on her bed.
That night they both cried themselves to sleep.
    The two weeks flew by, it seemed, and it looked as if Mulder was going 
up. On the night before he would be leaving, Mulder laid on his bed, staring 
at the picture of himself and Scully from her last birthday. In his other 
hand was a picture of Samantha. He wondered if he was doing the right thing. 
Everyone told him it was the right thing to do. Something inside of him told 
him otherwise. Before he fell asleep, Mulder turned on the radio. A soft, 
hypnotic melody filled the room...
        You're all I see
        A sweet obsession in my soul
        Fill each moment with your voice
        Breathe your beauty into me
Mulder slipped into a dream state quickly. He and Scully were swaying slowly 
to the song. Her arms were wrapped tightly around him, his arms were doing 
the dame to her.
    Scully was having one of those dreams again. She often dreamt of herself 
and Mulder. Some were normal, some more sexual (she enjoyed those in 
particular) But this was different, she and Mulder were swaying to the song 
that was playing on the radio that she left on before falling asleep. It was 
a beautiful song. It reminded her so much of how she felt for Mulder
        Would I die for you?
        No, I live for you
        You know I do, you know I do

        You're all I know
        Your mouth is all I taste
        My breast between your lips
        My tongue upon your waist
        Your waist

        Would I die for you?
        No, I live for you
        You know I do
        You know I do   

        And though you never will be mine
        I will live to know 
        That you have touched me 
        Once upon a time...

        You're all I am

        And everything I see
        Your words are all I understand
        And you're not real
        You're not real

        Would I die for you?
        I live for you?
        You know I do
        Would I die for you?
        No, I live for you
        You know I do
        You know I do, I do
        You know I do

    The next morning, Scully and Mulder drove together to the base. Mulder 
had the few things that he would need.
"I guess this is good-bye?" Scully asked when she heard the announcement for 
the representatives to begin boarding the plane that would take them to Cape 
Canaveral in five minutes.
"No." 
Scully's tears returned, so did Mulder's. He pulled her into a tight embrace. 
She mouthed the words, 'don't leave me,' into his sweater. Mulder gently 
kissed her forehead and rubbed the sides of her arms with his hands. The 
final call was made over the loudspeakers. Reluctantly, they released from 
each other's embrace. Scully gave him a little weak smile, he returned the 
smile. Scully's tears fell once more as she reached into her pocket and 
pulled out the picture. She watched him walk away from her forever. Scully 
cried for all the memories they had made in the past six years. She stayed 
until the plane flew over her. Scully sank down on the edge where the 
pavement met the grass. She hung her head down and her hands held the 
picture. In her mind, some of the song lyrics from her dream echoed 
hauntingly.
        And though you never will be mine
        I will live to know that you have touched me
        Once upon a time...
        You are all I am...

"A beautiful woman like you shouldn't look so sad."
    Scully looked up into a familiar face. Into those hazel eyes.
"Mulder!? What are you doing here?" she questioned in a frenzy on her way 
into his embrace. She gripped him like they would never let go.
"Did you miss the flight?"
"No, I got on, then got off again once I realized something from a song I 
heard."
"What?"
"You're all I am."
Scully felt tears of happiness replace the tears of sadness and pain she shed 
before. Mulder leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. Scully's eyes 
fluttered shut at the gentle touch. For a moment, they stood like a picture, 
not moving. But then Scully deepened the kiss, bringing her hands up to 
tangle in his hair and sighing into his mouth.
    Then he knew that he had done the right thing.

the end