"Shut up, Danny!!" by Meghan (AKA Megadee) Summary: Based on a CC quote, we'll find out just how annoying "Danny" really is! Rated PG for a curse or two, no obvious spoilers, no MSR, no Mulder angst, no porno films, no stepping on the grass, and no spitting! Sorry. Read it anyway, though, please! And, I love comments and suggestions and really, and type of feedback. So **PLEASE** E-mail me at Megadee@mindspring.com AUTHOR'S NOTE: Now, I know I told a lot of ya who responded to my first story "When Mulder Met Carter" that I was gonna try a real X-File, but I *had* to get this out while it was fresh. (I was worried about mold. . .) Don't worry- that X-File is in the making! DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, Mulder, Scully, and the characters used here are property of Chris Carter (all hail) and Ten Thirteen Productions. No infringement intended- I do it 'cause I love it! FINAL NOTE! I got this idea while skimming "The Official Guide to The X-Files" to confirm a fact for my other story in the making. On page 59, the sidebar mentions a quote by Chris Carter when asked about Mulder's Bureau friend "Danny" who often helps the dymamic duo out with stuff like license plate searches for bribes like Redskins tickets. (Is that a run on sentence? Anyway. . .) Carter responded by saying "Danny is the gnome who lives in Mulder's desk drawer." And so, a fanfic was born. ********** "Psst! Psst!! Hey, Fox," a whiney little voice voice whispered urgently. No answer. "Fox! Fox William Mulder!" "Shut up, Danny!" came the equally urgent whisper from above. "But Fox-" "I said pipe down!" The owner of the whiney voice retreated to the corner of his box and began to pout. Stupid Mulder. Stupid FBI. Stupid X-Files. Stupid desk drawer. How did he get sucked into this anyway? It wasn't like he didn't have other options. He could have chose AD Skinner's desk drawer. Or that smokey smelling old guy's desk. Or the desk of Colin Powell. Or- oh, well, It was too late. He'd chosen Mulder- because he was interested in what he did. He had liked the guy from the moment he set eyes on him. When he saw Mulder, he thought- <> Inteesting. The word echoed in his mind. Right! Since when are adoption record searches interesting? They're not. But, he did get stuff for them. Mulder was good about that- always repaying him. Be it tickets to a football game, or a few sunflower seed, he always got someting in return. So what if he could sneak into a game free? It was the thought. "Hey, Fox-y!" said Danny, a little louder. Suddenly he felt himself thrown backwards as Mulder whipped open the drawer. "Ow!" he cried. "Shut up, Danny! Ya know, someday one of the other agents is going to find out about you, especially if you keep shouting while they're around." "Well, I didn't know there was anyone here. I thought it was just you and the redhead," said Danny sadly. Mulder sighed. "Danny, she has a name," he said. "Yeah- Scullery or something," mumbled Danny. "Scully," corrected Mulder wearily. "Whatever," said the little knome sullenly. Danny wasn't much bigger tham Mulder's face, and his face was adorned with a bright red beard. He was completely bald, and wore a dirty Yankees baseball cap to hide the fact. He had a pair of blue jeans on, and a shirt that read "We Are Not Alone". It had been Mulder's Christmas present to him. Danny climbed out of the desk drawer and sat beside the gold lamp. He acknowledged Scully's presence with a curt nod, and then let out a long sigh. "Danny, we've got a case," began Mulder. "Yippee," he said sarcastically. Mulder gave him a sharp look, and he sighed again. "We're flying down to North Carolina later today," said Scully. "Well, have fun," said Danny. The two agents ignored the gnome's bad mood and continued. "Just keep the phone plugged in this time- we may need you," said Mulder. "Are you still sore about that?" asked Danny. "Just do it, okay?" said Scully. "You don't have to be such an ass about it." "Look who's talking," muttered Danny. "Hey!" cried Scully. "Mulder, call off your miget!" "I might say the same thing about you!" cried Danny, infuriated. "Hey! Both of you, take it easy. Scully, let's go," said Mulder. "No! I'm sick of it! Danny, you're through!" cried Scully. "You want a piece of me?!" cried Danny. He grabbed a pencil from the cup on Mulder's desk and threw it, point first at Scully's stomach. He followed the intial attack with more writing utensils, paper clips, and thumb tacks. Scully retaliated by grabbing a fly swatter and whacking at Danny like he was a fly. The little gnome ducked the blows and continued throwing tacks. Silently, Mulder slipped out of his desk chair. This was so stupid. He was so sick of Danny. He was becoming cumbersome. Why did Danny have to pick Mulder? Why didn't he pick someone like, oh, Skinner? Mulder avoided the tussle by his desk, and steathily slipped out the door, where he was met by Skinner. "What are you doing in the basement, sir?" asked Mulder. "I-uh, thought I heard someting. What's going on in there?" he said, pointing to Mulder's closed office. "Nothing," said Mulder in his best "Innocent child" voice. "Are you sure? Where's Agent Scully?" "Bathroom," said Mulder quickly. Skinner gave Mulder an odd look. "Come with me please," he said. Mulder followed him upstairs into his office. Skinner sat down at his desk. "Agent Mulder, I-" Skinner paused abrubtly. Mulder heard what sounded like a low hissing noise. Skinner kicked the desk, and began again. "Agent-" Again, a sharp pause, followed by a low hissing. "Sir?" said Mulder. "Maybe we should do this another time, Agent Mulder," said Skinner. "Of course, sir." Mulder smiled knowingly at Skinner and left. When the door was shut, Skinner whipped open his top desk drawer. "Shut up Manny!" he cried. * Mulder took his ear away from Skinner's door with a smile. He nodded at the secretary, who eyed him suspiciously, and left. THE END! Comments and the like go to Megadee@mindspring.com