From: Your Friend Date: Wed, 22 Dec 1999 11:18:33 -0800 (PST) Subject: NEW: Silence Revived by Divine Joker Source: direct DISCLAIMER: Yeah, yeah, we all know that they aren't mine, cause if they were, I wouldn't be writing this, and I'd be out spending all that money I'd be making. They do belong to CC though and that whole cast... Fox 20th or 30th Century, whichever. SUMMARY: Mulder's silent and Scully had to learn to deal with it. RATING: PG, if you're lucky. A little bit o' violence and a swear word, but hey. KEYWORDS: MSR AUTHOR'S NOTES: Kay, I've been getting feedback from my first one, Hold Me, which is really nice to get. I'm never really sure if people are reading my stuff, or if it's just sitting there. Anyway, you'll have to forgive me of any inconsistencies, cause I've never dealt with anything like this before. It was an idea inspired by an article I read about a celebrity losing her voice and having to go through two years of therapy to get it back. Anyway, this is it. (( SILENCE REVIVED )) BY: DIVINE JOKER 'They really do have to fix that bathroom,' Mulder thought as he pushed open the backdoor of the bar. 'This place is beginning to feel like home. Not that I piss behind my garbage pails at home, but...' he thought again as he undid his pants behind a ga rbage bin. He tried to ignore the quiet patter of fluid as it landed on the ground before him. He had sighed contentedly when finished and turned to enter back into the bar when he heard it. A soft hiss and following whimper. Glancing down the dark alley, Mulder's ears perked as he turned to walk down it. Reaching behind him, he cursed himself mentally for leaving his weapon at home. He heard it again from behind a pile of garbage bags laid next to a fire escape he thought. Softly approaching, he looked quickly behind him, making sure no one was coming up from behind. Rustling clothing and a tearing of cloth was followed again by a muffled whimper and groan of pain, spurring Mulder into faster action. Peering behind the pile he was faced with the sight of a darkened seething mass, with the glint of metal and terrified eyes looking at him. "Hey!" he yelled, stepping out into the open. That was his first mistake. His second was that the perpetrator had a clear view of him, while he couldn't see into the darkness. He didn't know what he was expecting. The knife turned, along with the arm that held it and connected squarely with Mulders jaw, throwing him backwards, further into the alley. The man followed him, evening the odds. Until Mulder got a good look. This man was big. Standing at least 6'3", he had broad body-builder shoulders and wide arms. Stubble resided on his face, shadowing it and causing it to look worse than it probably did. But the malice that shone forth from the two pairs of beady eyes ca used Mulder to take a step backwards, into the wall. Mulders eye twitched in pain, a hand coming up to take a sample of blood from his cheek. The knife had gotten him, but not bad. He took a deep breath. "Look buddy, don't think about doing anything here..." Before Mulder could finish the man rushed him, growling. Only Mulders quick reflexes saved him from being mashed into the rough brick wall. As he moved to the side, the man reached out his arm, catching him forcibly in the ribs, his fingers raking aroun d his side. Mulder took a painful breath, wheezing, feeling the white hot slivers of agony race up his spine. His eyes wide with shock, he barely had time to move when he saw the mans fist coming towards his face. The hand instead connected with his th roat, and Mulder could feel his larynx being crushed. Fear and pain registered just before he passed out. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear the wail of sirens and the shouting following, with officers arresting the man. He could feel cold hands circling his neck, and fingers probing his side. And sometime along the line, he could feel the cold pelt of raindrops as they passed down through the maze of neon lights the land on his bruised chest. When he woke completely, he couldn't breath. He felt the tube reaching down his throat, violating his respiratory system. In the midst of his panic, he could hear the steady ping of the heart monitor increase rapidly. A warm hand fell upon his brow. "Take a deep slow breath, Mulder." The familiar hypnotic voice was followed subconsciously, and he took in a soothing breath of cool air. "That's good. Now another one." He released the now stale air and took in another breath. His eyes opened the find his partner, Dana Scully, looking down at him with worried eyes. He smiled weakly. "Better?" When he opened his mouth to talk, he found that he couldn't. She lay a finger upon his lips and he looked up at Scully questioningly. "You shouldn't talk. Here," she reached over and retrieved a pen and pad of paper. "Just write it." She laid it on his chest. He furrowed his brow, but followed her orders and wrote down what he was going to ask her. "What happened?" His messy scrawl lined the page, underlined and followed by four question marks. "I'm not sure, why don't you tell me?" Mulder gave her an incredulous look and pointed amusedly to the tube running down his throat. He quirked his eyebrows and continued to look at her. "Why do I have a tube down my throat?" he wrote, showing her the pad. "Doctors say it's the best way to get you to breathe properly." At his look she explained why he couldn't breathe properly. "Apparently the guy crushed your larynx, and bruised your throat. You weren't breathing right when they brought you in, so there you go," she finished, pointing to the tube. He nodded, understanding. Then he wrote something else, but it appeared as if he didn't want to show her. He tore off the page, and ripped it up, tossing it into the garbage pail beside him. Then he wrote something else. "Mulder..." Scully began, reaching out to the pail. His hand stopped her and she looked up into his eyes, seeing his request not to look at it. Then he showed her what he had written instead. "What happened to the lady?" she paused. Looked to the door, biting her lip. "She's good. Traumatized, of course, but healthy. The guy hadn't gotten far enough to do anything to her. which is a good thing." She stopped, and looked at him. he could see that she wasn't telling h im something. Her looked at her seriously, making her look down to her shoes. "That man... he planned on killing her, Mulder." "How do you know?" he scrawled, sitting up. "convicted for three counts of second degree murder back in 1989. But he was out on good behavior. All rapes followed by slow painful deaths. He stabbed them in the stomach..." she stopped at the look he gave her and shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry." He nodded, and put the paper down. Then he took it up again and wrote three words. "How are you?" she read them and then look at him, something in her eyes changing hues. "I'm fine, Mulder." Was her automatic response. She could sense that he didn't really accept the answer, but he was unable to fight with her as his eyes began to drift close. She took advantage of it. "You get some rest. I'll be back later." Darkness swallowed him, as he turned to look out the window at the rain that continued to fall. When he woke again, Scully was sitting in front of him at the end of the bed. How he knew it was her was hard because she was sitting behind a newspaper. But the fine fingers that wrapped around to hold the paper were hers; he would know them anywhere. He sat in silence, until there was a knock on the door. He turned his head painfully to see Skinner walk in the door. he looked at his superior with surprise. He wasn't toting the flowers that he had the last time Mulder had been in the hospital, but was followed by someone. The lady from the alley. Mulder smiled as best he could. She looked okay, with a bruise on her face, but she was walking and alive. Mulder watched as look of happiness and sympathy came over her face. She smiled weakly and took the step forward that allowed her take his hand. She sat down on the bad next to him. Mulder looked to the end of the bad and watched sadly as Scully and Sk inner left the room. With the two of them alone, they sat in silence for a moment. "Thank you," she whispered, giving his hand a squeeze. Mulder nodded, and reached for the pad. "I can't talk to you, is this okay?" She smiled and nodded. He continued to write, as neatly as he could. "How are you?" "alive, thanks to you. I've felt better, but I'm alive." She said, and Mulder could see the tears come to her eyes. Mulder paused, looking at her fight the tears and he found that he didn't even know her name. "I'm Fox Mulder." "Huh? Oh, I'm so sorry," Mulder shook his head, dismissing it. "Sherry Callahan. Pleasure to meet you Fox." They continued to talk for a while, the only voice resounding in the stale room, that of a tearfully happy woman. He asked her questions about what happened first of all, but when he saw that it was bothering her, he changed the topic and asked her what she did for a living. She looked relieved and happily followed his course of conversation. Soon though, he got tired once again, and she left easily, knowing that her savior was in need of rest. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving and closing the door. Before he once again fell asleep, he looked out the window and noticed that it was no longer raining. He dreamed fitfully, waking once to find Scully there with a hand in his, rubbing her thumb over the back of his knuckles. Another time, he noticed that the pad of paper that he had used in his conversation with Sherry was sitting in Scully's lap as she dozed in the uncomfortable chair beside him. And when he woke again, the tube was out of his throat. The first thing Scully said was to not talk. He nodded reluctantly, thinking of the problems it had caused already. She was talking quietly with a doctor at the door, hands on her hips with a 'Don't-fuck-with-me' look on her face. The doctor appeared t o be taking the look seriously. Lucky him. Finally she nodded, as if she was conceding a point. "Thank you, Doctor." He nodded and left, leaving her at the door. she stood for a moment and then walked over to him. "You good?" he nodded as she paused considering something. "The doctors say that you can be discharged today, but..." again she pau sed. He gestured for her to continue. "You can't go home." Confusion ran across his features and he opened his mouth, for the second forgetting her direct orders not to talk. She shook her head, looking at him. he closed his mouth. "Since you ca... aren't allowed to talk they think it's wise if you stayed with someone, just in case something happened, you know?" he nodded, seeing the logic in the reasoning. "So, skinner said you could stay with him," she smiled at his grimace, le tting go of her first real laugh since she had come to the hospital two days ago. "or the guys said you could..." he impatiently dismissed that one with a wave of his hand. Her eyebrows quirked. "Alright then. My place then." And that was the end of that. Before she turned to leave, Mulder caught her hand. He scribbled down something. "Scully, what aren't you telling me?" he watched her face darken as she read the note. She shook her head. "Nothing, Mulder." Now Mulder was angry. His lips thinned as he pressed them together and his eyes shadowed. He forcefully grabbed the pad and wrote something else. "Will I talk again?" Scully turned away from him and walked to the window hands on her hips again. Her shoulders slumped and a hand raised to her face, yet Mulder could not see what she was doing with it. She sighed audibly and turned to him, wiping the last of her tears aw ay. "I don't know, Mulder. I can't tell you." They looked at each other for another moment, before Mulder held out his hand to her, drawing her closer. He waited only a moment before her pulled her that extra few feet into his embrace. He didn't have the strength to look her in the eyes, for he was sure that if he had, he would have begun to shed the tears that she had started to. "I hope so. With all my heart," she whispered. Her arms came up to wrap around his back, and she gave him a gentle squeeze. He thought that she had whispered the words for him, but when she sighed, he realized that she had not meant to say that aloud. This thought alone brought even more tears to his eyes, finally causing them to spill over, no matter how hard he tried to fig ht them. he buried his face in her hair and closed his eyes on a sigh. He had fallen asleep, for when he opened his eyes again, Scully was standing over him with a smile on her face. "Hey, G-man, ready to leave this place?" she held out her hand for him to grab, and pulled him out of the bed. "Brought you some clothes." She said as she held out a bag for him. Glancing down at the hospital gown that he was sporting, he looked up at her and smiled. He cocked his head at her, as if asking why she didn't like the gown. She smiled, and answered, "Oh, I like it just fine. It's a matter of how many people you want to see your bare butt." With that she placed the bag one bed and turned for the door. "I've got some papers to sign for your release. I'll be back in five for you." He nodded and watched with a mixed feeling of happiness and sorrow, as she turned and walked out of the room. Slipping into his clothes, he was just doing up the last button on his shirt when she returned. He grabbed the pad. "Am I a free man?" she looked at it and smiled. "Yep. Let's get out of here." The ride to her apartment was silent if only for the reason that she couldn't read while she drove. He wanted so badly to talk to her, to tell her how much he appreciated what she was doing for him. he sat back and watched her as she drove. For the first time, he saw the dark circles that underlined her eyes. The lines that had appeared in the last three days. The way her shoulders bent and her body sagged in the seat. And he wondered with great interest if she had slept at all in the las t few days. This worried him. But he couldn't ask her and this disconserted him even more. Suddenly, he realized the things that he might never tell her. the things that they would never talk about again. No arguments or witty comebacks. No casually tossed innuendoes or laughter at each others slight misfortunes. No tender forgiving words, comforting tones or sarcasm given when the other made some inane comment or another. He might never get the chance to tell her he loved her. Again he fought the tears that approached his defenses and battled their way to the top. When he had control of the traitorous water drops, he sighed and turned to watch the buildings travel by. Hopefully, he thought, this would distract him enough for the rest of the ride home. Finally, they pulled into her parking lot and rode up to her apartment. He narrowed his eyes thinking. He deftly scribbled something on his pad and showed it to her as she opened her door. "Your clothes? Oh, I hope you don't mind, but I went over to your place and got some stuff for you." He smiled and nodded as he walked into her apartment after her. he was surprised to find Mrs. Scully sitting on Scully's couch, reading a House Beautiful magazine. "Hi Mom." She said as she walked through the living room into the kitchen. "oh, hi honey. Hi Fox. How are you feeling?" he nodded, rubbing his side, but shrugged. She got the message. "But you're good. That's good." She stood and reached for her coat. Mulder furrowed his brow and wrote something on his pad, showing it to her. "Has she slept?" Mrs. Scully looked up at him with a look on her face that only could be described as worry. She shook her head. "Can you try to get her to?" Mulder nodded and gave her a quick hug before she left. "Bye, Dana. Call me if you need anything." "Yeah, Mom. Thank you." The door closed, and Mulder turned to sit on the couch, sighing. He winced as he felt a small twinge of pain, and brought a hand up to his throat. Scully emerged from the kitchen baring two mugs. "You lucky man. Nothing but liquids for a week." Mulder gave her a scared look. "Yogurt, tea... all that good stuff." She smiled evilly and sat down next to him, giving him the mug. She had sweetened it, like he liked it, and he smiled at her. the next few days were relatively easy. Scully had signed up on a pager program, so that when she was at work for short periods and he had trouble, he could just page her and she would be home in a short time. He occupied himself by reading the books th at she had lining her shelves. Mostly old college english books, full of poetry and mtyhical legends. He would occasionally turn on the TV and channel surf, but he could never get himself interested in the daily soaps that ended up coming on. He would sleep in her guest bed, only fitfully. Usually he would go to bed late and wake early, making her breakfast. Scully was only happy enough to bring some work home. But only the paper work. So he spent some time filling out expense reports on t he case that they had just finished. Once in a while, he would tentatively touch his throat, feeling the bruise that was slowly healing. And it was only a matter of time before he brought up the matter with Scully. They were just sitting for dinner when he reached for his pad and wrote something on it. "What about a speech therapist, Scully?" he could see the slump in her shoulders as she read the words. She picked at her food for a moment, and Mulder thought that she may just avoid the subject completely. It wasn't like he could tell her that she had to talk to him. But she did. "If that's what you want, Mulder. I'll talk to Dr. Annderson tomorrow." It sounded as if that was the end of discussion. He paused, taking a sip of his chicken broth. He swallowed painfully, but didn't wince, opting instead to watch her. "Do you think it would help?" he wrote, shoving the pad across to her. he was becoming impatient with the fact that she was taking advantage of his disability to speak. He wanted so much to get her to talk. Get her to tell him what she was feeling. She sighed, pushing her plate away. Mulder had noticed that she was doing that more often. He couldn't stand to see her do that. He had noticed that she had lost weight, even in the past week, and her face was pale. Suddenly the pain of not talking about it, seeing her waste away, watching what they had fall apart grabbed Mulder by the heart and pulled him out of his chair. Looking down at her sadly, with anger in his eyes, Mulder grabbed his coat and keys and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him, ignoring Scully's calls for him to come back. He left the building and headed out into the evening neighborhood traffic, limited by the chilly wet weather that was surrounding them. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. He only wanted to go to a place where he would want to talk to anyone. Where he knew no one would bother him. so he headed to the only place he could think of. Home. The rain hit him as he walked down the street, and, unable to tell a taxi driver where to go, Mulder hopped a bus headed towards his apartment building. Idly, he wondered when it had begun to rain again, it seemed to have been raining since he had gotten attacked. When he got there, there were several messages on his machine. Not so many, showing that Scully had checked them out when she had picked up his clothes. Most were advertising commercials, trying to sell him something. But the last one was Scully. "Look, Mulder. I'm sorry. I know I should talk to you more, but... anyway, just page me when you want to get picked up." It shocked him that she knew him so well to call his place. He fell onto his couch and cried. He woke to the door opening, and softly closing, letting the apartment once again fall into darkness. He could hear Scully's footsteps. He watched her cloaked figure move into his living room and sit down on the chair across from him. somehow she knew t hat he was awake. "I'm so sorry, Mulder. But I'm..." she sighed and shifted in her chair. "I'm no good with this emotional stuff." She fell into silence and stayed there for minutes, contemplating what to say next. "If you think a speech therapist is the best way to go , then I'll look into it for you." Mulder stayed silent, not moving or sighing, keeping his hands behind his head. She talked on. "I'm so used to hearing you. All your nonsensical comments and comebacks. It's just so silent now, even when you're around. It's unnerving, and I don't like it." Now she stood and walked to his shabby window, crossing her arms across her chest. "Like I said, I'm no good with this emotion stuff, so bare with me." Now Mulder moved, sitting up and throwing his legs down to rest on the floor. He rested his elbows on his knees and let his hands hang in between. He watched her intently. She took a deep calming breath and continued. "I don't know if I'm strong enough o handle this new you, Mulder. If I can get used to not hearing your voice." Mulder ignored the breaking of his heart and stayed with her instead of becoming a crying mass on the floor. He needed to stay strong for he r. "remember... last christmas? With Emily?" she gave a weak laugh. Of course he would. She went on. "I called you before... before I actually talked to you. Do you remember the phone call in the middle of the night, Mulder?" Mulders heart fell to the floor. 'That was her?' he thought in a daze. "The one where no one said anything. You only asked who was there and that was all I needed. I didn't even feel guilty about waking you up, even knowing how little you sleep." She took another deep breath and barged on. "I love your voice Mulder. It' s always the first thing I hear whenever I wake in a hospital, or at work. Pick up a phone, hear, 'It's me,' in your voice," she gave another feeble laugh and let her head fall forward. Mulder knew without a doubt that he had to say something now. Even if it hurt to do so, it would end up hurting more in the end if he never did. Before he could try, she continued. "The doctors said you had a chance to get it back. So if therapy is the best way, I'm all for it." He had to. Mulder stood and walked behind her. he put his hand on her shoulders and turned her to him. he opened his mouth. She put shook her head and put her hand to his mouth. Almost violently, Mulder grabbed her hand and drew it away from his mouth. Closing his eyes, he took a breath. He opened his mouth again, the intent to say it very strong, pounding in his veins. But it wouldn't come out. Nothing. Mulder dropped her hand and stared at the floor. Suddenly angry, Mulder turned, the need to do something driving him forward. He grabbed a cup that had resided on the table for the last week and a half and threw it at the wall. "Mulder!" Scully called, reaching forward to touch him. the satisfying shatter of the glass was muffled by the pounding in his ears. Mulder slumped and fell to the floor, crumpling into a small ball. Wracking sobs were wrenched from his body, head falling forward onto his knees and arms wrapping around his l egs. Scully stood, shocked into silence by Mulders violent display. Then realizing his situation, she knelt down and wrapped her arms around him. at her touch he froze and looked up to her, tears in his eyes causing them to sparkle in the dim street light. He brought a hand up and laid it on her forearms, his thumb rubbing back and forth for a moment before his glanced to his table, searching for something. Finding it, he brought it to his lap and began to write. "Scully, I want to talk to you...more than I can say. There is so much I want to tell you." She glanced up at him as she read that, arching an eyebrow and looking at him questioningly through the tears that were coming up into her eyes. She continued t o read. "I think that a therapist would help. But I need you Scully. I need you to talk to me, you can't keep running from me just because I can't talk back to you. I need you to be strong enough to face what this is going to do to us." She stared at the paper for a while, reading and rereading the script. Mulder, apparently getting nervous by her extended silence, began to look around his apartment, and seeing the mess, moved to clean it up. When he came back from the kitchen, with a broom and pan,, she was standing by the window. "Mulder?" she turned to him and moved to him, falling into his arms. "I am so sorry for the way I've been avoiding you and... this. I'm so sorry." She shifted her face against his chest, petrified of the way this was affecting her. "I'll try for you. I don't know if I can be strong enough to face this, but I'm strong enough to stay with you... as long as you stay with me." His arms tightened, his face falling to her hair. After a while of the comfortable silence, Scully withdrew, looking at the glass. Smiling a little she took the broom from him. "Let's clean this up and then we can go home." Mulder paused, catching her phrase, and smiled, delighted at the implications. TWO WEEKS LATER After Scully spent several days checking out local speech therapists, she made an appointment with a Dr. Morton, who worked out of a private clinic in the downtown area. He was a tall lanky man, not so much unlike Mulder in his stance, but more lively. His fast walk and light step were always accompanied with a smile and 'Hello, how are you?' and the thing that made this so unique was that he was genuine. None of the shmalzy fake attitude that a lot of professionals seemed to prefer, but a happy, sprea d-the-joy-to-make-the-world-a-better-place personage. The first minute that Mulder listened to him, he liked him. he knew that Scully was able to find him a doctor that he would like. He wasn't so scared of the trials he was about to encounter, not with Scully and Morton with him. The first sessions were emotionally and physically draining. He wasn't sure what to expect, or how to handle how slow his progress was. He knew that he wouldn't get results immediately, but he wanted more than he got. As much as he wanted Scully to sit by his side while he went through the lessons, he knew that the therapy was almost as hard on her as it was on him. seeing him unable to talk but trying to work his vocal cords would probably break her heart, he figured , and wasn't at all surprise when she opted to wait outside and wait for him. Mulder was sitting in the living room one day, reading a magazine when he saw an intriguing article. The thought brought a smile to his face, but he knew that convincing Scully would be tough. He wanted to try anyway. He left the magazine open in a pla ce he knew that she would end up picking it up to put it away. He left subtle hints throughout the apartment, articles open, anything he could find on sign language. A week later, he was making tea in the kitchen when he heard a growl from the living room. "Enough. Mulder, get in here." When he finally worked up his courage, he slunk around the corner and leaned against the frame, a sheepish smile on his face. He shrugged, when he saw her standing with his recent finding hanging from her hand. She waved it in the air. "Why wouldn't you just ask me, Mulder? You're driving me insane." He found a pen, since there was now always one available. "I knew you wouldn't consider it if I just asked you." She stared at the note for a moment, and her shoulders sagged. "How do you know?" she asked, sounding unconvinced of her own thoughts. Mulder smiled and walked up to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Scully read the smile as 'Cause I know you.' Sighing, she sat down letting the magazine fall between her legs. Then she gave a weak laugh, nodding. "yeah, you're probably right." She took a deep breath, falling backwards onto the couch. Mulder landed beside her, his arm going around her shoulder and pulling her closer. She let her head rest against his shoulder and her eyes close. They sat in that comfortable position, Mulders thumb rubbing her arm. After a while, he sighed and let his head fall to the top of hers. "Alright. Let's do it. When do we start?" the smile that lit his face was more than enough to reaffirm her decision, and she smiled back. TWO MONTHS LATER So to go along with his therapy, Mulder began to take sign language classes with Scully. Skinner was even kind enough to give her some extra time off to attend the classes. As busy as she was with her reassigned Quantico position, she always took the ti me to be with him for supper and classes, and this pleased Mulder immensely. The time that he spent with her was becoming more and more special. Scully was amazed at the ease at which Mulder was learning the hand signs, and found herself drawn to the way his hands flowed between words. Scully found the silent conversations unnerving and decided that it would be easier to answer his questions with her voice, which, to her surprise, Mulder didn't seem to mind at all. At times when she didn't recognize a signal, he would write the word down and repeat the movement, allowing her quick intellect to memorize it and allow her to recognize it the next t ime. Mulder was bored one day and decided to pay Scully a visit at work. It was nearing noon when he wandered through the halls towards her new office. Tapping softly on the fogged glass window in the middle of the fake wood door, he put his hand on the knob when he heard another deeper voice that definitely wasn't' Scully's coming from inside the office. It was Skinners. The conversation stopped for a moment before he heard Scully's voice calling him in. She looked at him with surprise when he opened the door. "Mulder." She said, standing up, and looking furtively at Skinner. "Hi." He signed, casting a glance at Skinner, and repeating the sign. Skinner furrowed his brow an looked down at the floor. He looked between the two people and stopped to rest his gaze on Scully. "What's up?" he licked his lips and bit his bottom l ip. Scully had learned that he had become a lot more perceptive in interpreting body language and knew with a certainty that she wouldn't be able to get this lie by him. But Skinner looked up at him and let Scully off the hook. "He got off on a technicality." Immediately Mulder knew who he was talking about. And he was scared. "And he's out now?" Skinner looked confused. So Scully filled him in. "He wants to know if he's out now." "Yeah. Yeah he is." Mulder thought about this for a while, sitting down in a chair, hands folded in his lap. He looked around the office, contemplating what this would mean. "I can't stay at your place any longer." Scully shook her head, walking around the desk to lean on it before him. "No, Mulder, You're not going..." "But I could stay with him, maybe... you're in danger if I stay with you." "By going there isn't going to stop anything," she said, crossing her arms and looking up at Skinner. He was at a complete loss, hearing only half of the conversation. "Now's not the time..." she sighed, placing two fingers at the bridge of her nose an d squeezing. She looked at him over her hand and saw him nod. "Sorry," he signed, shrugging. He looked to Skinner and looked sheepish. He waved it off. "My place is still open, if you want to come, Mulder." With that he turned and headed for the door. "That won't be necessary, sir. He can stay with me." Mulder shot her an evil glance, inwardly cursing her for cutting the conversation. He sighed and fell into the chair, continuing to glare at her. Skinner shook his head. "Take care you two." And he was gone. Before he could spin into a tirade she waved her hand. "No, listen. I'm even going close my eyes so that I can't see you. You've got to remember that this is the first time I'm taking advantage of your silence, so forgive me." She closed her eyes, to her word, and started in. "No, you are not going somewhere else. Not because... it's just as safe to have you at my apartment, as at someone elses. With me, you can at least talk with me. I mean you saw Skinners confusion, and there is no way you're going to get Skinner to learn sign language." She shifted on her feet and opened her eyes a crack to see Mulder looking at her intently. She continued. "besides, if you only do it for me. I won't sleep with you anywhere else. I'll be thinking about w hether or not you're getting on okay... able to talk with people." She found it easy to talk to him like this, without him making any noise. And she was starting to say more than she wanted to. "And I'm thinking that you'll end up sleeping easier to." She stopped, and opened her eyes, startled to find him right before her, his deep hazel eyes staring into hers. She took a breath. "Besides, I like having you around. You're keeping my apartment clean." He let a small smile come through. His intense gaze was making her nervous and she licked her lips. Slowly he nodded, and she smiled back. "good." She whispered, unable to break her gaze from his. Suddenly, Mulder turned his head to the side, and shook it, as if trying to loose his thoughts. He turned to the door. "Mulder?" he stopped, his head bowed. "You're running. I remember someone asking me not to run." "I'm not having very good thoughts, Scully." He signed, once he worked up the courage to turn to her. "I mean, they are good... but they're not." He shrugged. She smiled and moved towards him. "Oh, really?" she arched a brow and crossed her arms over her chest. "May I inquire as to the nature of these thoughts?" The only word Mulder could think of was 'carnal', but he knew that she wouldn't know that. So instead, he signed, "Thoughts of a base nature." He quirked a brow at her smile. "Thoughts that need to be run from, or they may get carried away." "And that's a bad thing?" her attitude towards his fear was shocking him. she wasn't running, like she normally would have. "Why aren't you running, Scully?" she paused at this question, wondering how to answer it. "Because I'm not afraid anymore. I'm getting better at this emotional stuff, Mulder, haven't you noticed?" he nodded and she moved on, stepping closer still. "Do you like it? Is that why your b ase thoughts are coming up?" "They always come up when I'm around you." He answered, a little embarrassed by his admission. He could tell by the way she was walking to him that she was not going to let him run from this, even if he thought that it would be the best for both of them . he was happy that she wasn't afraid, it gave him reason to not be afraid either. "I'm not so sure if I want to stop them anymore." He smiled, squaring his shoulders to her. "Oh, really? Now why would that be?" she stopped before him now, arms still crossed over her chest. Instead of saying anything, he acted on the thought, and kissed her soundly, his arms circling her waist, and lifting her off the floor. Scully let loose a little surprised squeek, causing Mulder to smile in joy. They lingered on the kiss, tasting each other, until a swift tap on the door soundly interrupted them. Mulder pulled back, smiling at her. he nodded his head at the door, and then moved to open it. The surprised student looked at him and then past him to his professor. "Uh, sorry to interrupt, Professor, but could I go over my paper with you?" Scully smiled and nodded. "Of course, just give me a moment, will you?" she waited silently as he left, then looked at Mulder. "I'll be home in a couple of hours. It'd be nice if dinner was made..." she quirked an eyebrow at him and smiled. "You trust my cooking?" he smiled and then left, a lightness to his steps. Getting into his car, Mulder decided to pay the grocery store a visit to pick up something that he could actually make with some finesse. After some time, Mulder pulled into the parking lot at Scully's apartment and headed up the stairs. The shadow that resided behind the bush didn't register in his mind until he was only a few feet from it. And then it began to move. Only his training allowed him the slight adjustment to not get hit the first time by his attacker. He could see that it was the same guy from the alley, and his fighting instincts kicked in. the man was a lot bigger than him, but along with Mulder size, his training gave him some advantage. Turning to face his attacker again, Mulder moved in time to only catch the fist in his shoulder. ignoring the pain of a shoulder that was almost dislocated, Mulder swung his body in an arch and caught the attacker b eneath his arm in the ribs, knocking him to the ground. This caused Mulder to loose his balance and he tumbled to the ground with him, rolling on the grass. Bringing his legs up, Mulder caught the man in the stomach before he could get pinned and moved away from the sprawling man. The stood, facing each other in the fading light, Mulder eyes glowing black with anger and his red with revenge. Mulder was almost out of breath, one arm draped across his midsection, protecting his once again bruised ribs. Not able to tell the man to stop, Mulder waited for him to charge again, but was surprised to see his stop and let his arms fall to his side. "Mulder?" Mulders eyes widened at the sound of Scully's voice, and his shoulder slumped. Letting his shoulders collapse, his entire body followed and he fell to the ground. Scully rushed to his side, her gun at her side. The attacker took advantage of the momentary lapse and moved forward quickly, hitting Scully to the side, knocking her unconscious. Mulder couldn't see what was going on, but saw the gun fly to the side, and realized that this man was about to attack S cully. Once again his anger flared, driving him to his feet and forcing him to turn on the man, who was now fixated on Scully lying there. Finding the gun, Mulder stalked over to the man and shoved the gun in his side. "Leave her alone." He whispered, fear bringing the first words from his bruised throat. Shocked, the man turned and Mulder pulled the trigger. The man flew to the side from the force of the bullet and slumped to the ground, dead. Mulder fell next to Scully and ran a hand over her face. Tears came to the surface and just before he passed o ut he heard the sirens of police that someone had called. ONE WEEK LATER Mulder still remember the words he had spoken, yet he had not said one word to Scully. He didn't know why he was silent, but his fear was starting to really get to him. And now, sitting in her living room, reading the paper, with her in the kitchen, Mulder swallowed his pride and walked into the kitchen, standing behind her. His arms went around her waist, startling her. "Hello, stranger. I thought you were going to let me cook dinner?" she asked, chopping another carrot. When he remained still, she turned in his arms, and looked up into his eyes. "Mulder?" "Does it still bother you?" he signed, knowing she would understand that he meant to silence. Her eyes fell to his chest and her hands came up to play with his shirt collar. She sighed and her face turned serious. "Yes, but Mulder, I'll live with it, if it isn't going to get better. I know that I'll learn to deal with it." She paused, and looked up into his eyes again. "I'll love you if you can talk or not. I'll still love you." Mulder smiled and leaned into her, wrapping her into another tight embrace. He sighed happily and buried his face into her neck. He smiled and she felt it, smiling I return. And then, conquering the butterflies in his stomach, Mulder lifted his mouth t o her ear. "I love you too." He said. He could feel her fast intake of breath and then her sob as she burst into tears. "I love you too."