From: TeaL Date: Mon, 21 Dec 1998 23:39:04 +1300 Subject: Fanfic : Simple Words Title:Simple Words Author: TeaL Spoilers: Memento Mori , Redux II KeyWords :mulder/Scully friendship , character death Classification:A Keywords:M/S friendship , character death Rating: G Spoilers:Memento Mori Summery:What if the chip failed....? Authors note:Although this story is a little depressing , I wanted to write a story that really goes into their emotions and thoughts. I admit I failed miserably! Disclaimer:Ok here we go again.. All things X-files related do not belong to me , if they did do you think I'd be writing fanfic? All hail the almighty Chris Carter, I am but a meek servant girl who means you no harm. Also the lyrics are from the song "Hold on" by Sarah McLachlan . Dedicated to :Kylie , an angel taken too soon First we'll start with a little Sarah McLachlan to set the mood.... "Hold on , hold on to yourself , for this is gonna hurt like hell , hold on , hold on to yourself , you know that only time will tell... My love you know that you're my best friend , you know I'd do anything for you" SIMPLE WORDS By TeaL (formally 'Talitha') talitha_1121@hotmail.com *RING RING* A ringing phone at 3 am was never a good sign and with a feeling of dread I quickly , yet reluctantly picked it up "Mulder" I answered , my voice heavy with sleep "Agent Mulder" came the gruff reply, "this is Skinner , I think you'd better come down to the hospital" I didn't say a word as I replaced the phone in it's cradle , I didn't need to ask why. I just knew. I would never comprehend how such a simple phone call , could forever change my life. I made record time to the hospital , the traffic lights had been on my side. Bursting through the entrance doors , I saw Skinner standing waiting for me . His face told me everything He turned and started walking down the corridor, I quickened my pace to catch up "Sir?" He didn't turn his head or even slow down as he answered "It doesn't look good Mulder" My stomach clenched , I could hear my heart pounding in my chest , I wondered if skinner could hear it? As we turned the corner , my step in time with his, I prepared myself for the tubes and the machines , secretly praying she would be sitting up in her bed smiling at me. But it wasn't to be. As Scully's body came into view I saw the tubes and machines attached to her seemingly lifeless body and I had to quickly grab the hand rail attached to the wall to steady myself. It was like Deja vu , horrible , tormenting Deja vu. I felt Skinners eyes on me as I pushed through the double doors that led to her room. A Doctor was talking quietly to a nurse but I was oblivious to everything in the room except Scully as I sat upon her bed and gently held her hand. I wanted to cry , but not here.......not now. I stared down at her ashen face , she seemed peaceful , I hoped it were so. And for the longest time I simply sat beside her bed , holding her hand , willing her to wake up. Sending her every ounce of faith I had. X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X A large , flat , white surface came into focus. A ceiling? I couldn't think straight , just then an overwhelming surge of pain shook my body and I began to panic. Where was I? "Scully , it's ok" A soft voice whispered words so calm, Mulder? I tried to speak , but no sound escaped my lips, my emotions screamed out to him , I tried to face him , but I felt paralyzed. My eyes , wide with fear. "you're in the hospital , don't try to speak, you have a tube down your throat" His voice wavered, the fear in my eyes echoed in it. My eyes spoke to him , telling him I understood. Questions remained , how did I get here ,why was I here? Mulder sensed them , I knew I wouldn't need spoken words. "It's back Scully , the cancer's back" Simple words , yet the most feared words. Slowly I turned my head , seeing him for the first time , my eyes searched his and he left them open , never hiding the truth from me. They confirmed what I already knew. It was bad. I lay still , watching him as he reached out and gently brushed my matted hair away from my face, his other hand holding mine , keeping me near him, holding strong. And although I was more scared than I had ever been in my whole life , I felt strangely content, at ease ........ As the pain continued to wash over me. X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X My neck was stiff , my back ached , it was obvious these hospital chairs had not been intended to be used for long periods of time. Time? How long had I sat here? Still with my hand in hers , afraid to leave. Afraid I'd lose her if I let go, afraid that the moment I left her side I would give into the forever building tears. Her eyes were closed , I had sat watching her for hours drift in and out of consciousness , bravely fighting. Through bouts of ever increasing pain she had grasped my hand , almost cutting off the circulation,yet I felt only emotional pain. Now , finally , she seemed peaceful , but I sat praying that when she awoke , her pain would be over. It tore me up inside to see her this way. To see my best friend dying right infront of my own eyes and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. The sound of a door opening behind me broke me out of my reverie , but I didn't turn my head. "Fox?" Mrs Scully She gently touched my shoulder as she moved to the opposite side of the bed. I looked across at her as she gently kissed her only daughter on the forehead. She looked up , her eyes exposed a mothers love, a love that could ease pain and smooth out fears with just a touch. "Fox they have a room you can spend the night in" I nodded slightly as I tore myself away from my partners side. Scully needed to feel her mothers presence right now more than ever. This was their time. Moving into the hallway I could see Skinner talking to a nurse , I avoided his worried gaze as I sat on the padded bench outside Scully's room. Sleep? There would be no sleep tonight. X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X Mom? I felt her weight shift slightly on my bed as she leaned toward me and softly said "My baby girl , you don't have to be afraid any more" My eyes focused on the ceiling , the one constant, unchanging image. I knew where I was , but I couldn't remember why. I felt fine. Then it all came flooding back to me , drowning all the peace. Cancer. But still , I didn't feel sick , I felt no pain. Drugs were wonderful things when they worked. I wanted to smile , to reassure her that I wasn't afraid, but the tubes down my throat prevented that. So I let the floating feeling take over and once more gave into sleep. X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X I was standing in the hospital corridor with Scully , embracing her , holding her close. I smiled down at her and kissed her forehead , gently stroking her face. Everything was going to be okay. "Agent Mulder?" Skinners voice. What was Skinner doing in Allentown? "Agent Mulder!" More urgent this time. I awoke with a start , suddenly I was no longer in Allentown and it wasn't going to be okay. Fully awake I sat up and looked at him. 4 simple words "She's calling for you" X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X I felt as though I were running in an endless nightmare , my body drenched with sweat, heart pounding , every organ felt like jelly. As I lay looking up at a well studied ceiling, but not really seeing it , I thought of a life I was not ready to leave behind. But the pain , I would leave it all right now to end the pain. The drugs no longer worked , nothing worked, I wanted so badly to just give in , but I wouldn't, not yet. I couldn't move , the disease that ravaged my tired body kept me still , and the sweat continued to seep out. I felt so alone. Then through the darkness and the pain I felt a touch , my vision blurred and the ceiling once again came into focus. My cold , clammy hand had been engulfed by a wondrous,warm embrace , and then I heard his voice. "Dana?" My saviour , my strength , my life......... my Mulder. I tried to say his name but my throat was still raw after the removal of the tubes and my attempt was nothing more than a gurgled moan. "It's okay Scully , I'm here , I wont leave you, I promise" I wanted to see him , a final lasting image of my angel. He sensed my need , as only he could and sat upon my bed,his eyes focused on mine. He was smiling , but his eyes showed only fear and sadness. Mine , the same. One hand held mine , as the other slowly stroked my face, the pain subsided. My angel. My eyes closed one final time as my body relaxed. Soft lips brushed my forehead and as I felt my body give in to the darkness I heard him whisper final,eternal words. "Dana Scully , my best friend , I love you...... I will *never* forget you" X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X She lay still as I gently kissed her hand one final time. "goodbye" And the tears ,building from a sorrow and loss that I knew I would never escape, began to flow....... ------------------------------------------ Now to finish with a few lines from an unbelievably sad poem... "In the quietness that follows,you'll hear my voice, whispering 'I love you'. Your memory will not be forgotten, your soul will live again" FEEDBACK!!!!!!< talitha_1121@hotmail.com > dont delay , e-mail me today. My inbox is standing by. I'd love to hear what you thought ,and if you used as many tissues as I did!!!! ( or maybe I'm just over sensitive!) ~no tissues were harmed during the writing of this fanfic~ September 1998