From: Amatia Date: Sat, 8 May 1999 22:53:34 -0500 (CDT) Subject: "Small Sound Black Dreams: Second Light" (1/1) by Amatia Title: Small Sound Black Dreams: Second Light Author: Amatia (violinst@pitnet.net) Category: V, A, R (Scully/other) Slash Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: "The Silence of the Lambs", reference to "The Red and the Black" Disclaimer: Clarice Starling belongs to Orion Pictures. Scully, Mulder, and Krycek belong to FOX and 1013. No profit is intended from this story. Archiving: Gossamer. All others please email me prior to archiving. Feedback: Read and worshipped at violinst@pitnet.net Summary: Fourth piece in the "Small Sound Black Dreams" series, Starling tells Scully a life-altering secret. *** "SSBD: Second Light" by Amatia Scully and Starling ended up spending the day in the park a few blocks from Scully's apartment, reminiscing about the time they'd spent at Quantico together, and the aftermath of the Buffalo Bill case. "I'm glad you were almost done with training when you came that night," Scully said to Starling, recalling their first night together. "It could have evolved into a bad situation if you weren't so close to graduation, and after that night, I wasn't going to let you go without a fight." "I hadn't really planned on going that far," Starling replied, blushing. "But you looked so sexy getting cream from the refridgerator that I couldn't resist." Scully laughed, catching Starling's hand as they walked down a deserted path. "I must confess, you took me by surprise." "As if I couldn't figure that out from the look on your face." Starling squeezed her hand. They found a soft patch of grass on which to sit, neither caring about their jeans and sweatshirts. Starling stretched out on her back, and gently tugged Scully over to lay her head on her stomach. "I didn't get a chance to ask last night," Scully said, "but where are you living?" "About twenty miles out of Quantico, I found a duplex for rent. I didn't want to buy a house in case they moved me again." "And they wonder why so many of us have apartments," Scully chuckled. She looked upwards at Starling. "Clari?" Starling ran a finger across Scully's forehead. "Yes, my love?" "I need to know this." Scully paused for a moment. "Are we going to pick up where we left off?" Starling stopped the movement of her hand on Scully's hair. "Dana...do you mean to tell me that you didn't notice? You, a medical doctor?" Fear flashed across Scully's face. "You're not sick, are you?" "No. Dana...I'm pregnant. It's really why they sent me back here, even thought they said otherwise." Scully unconsiously laid her hand on Starling's flat pelvis, looking away from her face. She started to say something, but Starling's finger over her lips stopped her. "Shh, let me finish. I should have told you last night, but I thought you could tell and that you didn't want to bring it up yet. I had a male lover out in Utah, a fling, it lasted three weeks." She made a gesture in the air. "I suppose it was my attempt to convince myself that I didn't have to be a lesbian if I didn't want to be." She took a deep shuddering breath. "It's so hard, Dana. Being bi, you at least know how to react to men's advances. I don't know how to react. So I thought I'd teach myself, and look what happened." Scully turned her face back to Starling. "Clari. I'm not mad that you didn't tell me. I'm surprised that you've already moved back and you're only a few weeks along." "They were quick about the paperwork. The Bureau really doesn't want pregnant agents out in the field," Starling replied. "Dana, I'm afraid. I don't think I can bring this baby up myself, and I don't want to tell Marcus that I'm pregnant. And I can't, I won't give the baby up." "Honey," Scully said softly, sitting up and cupping Starling's face in her hands. "I will not let you raise this baby yourself." Starling pulled her down for a kiss. "I can't thank you enough." Scully hugged her close. "Do you want to move in with me?" she whispered in Starling's ear. "I was just going to suggest you move in with me," Starling replied. "My place is bigger. Although it'll be a bit of a commute." "Half an hour isn't too bad. And yes, I will move in with you." They kissed once more, softly, and then Scully laid her head back where it had been. Her left hand found Starling's, and she wound their fingers together. "Mulder called me while you were in the shower this morning. He wanted to know if I'd go out to dinner with him, and I never gave him an answer. Do you want to go? I think it's time I told Mulder about us." "I think you should go by yourself," Starling said, combing the fingers of her free hand through Scully's hair. "I think he'd be more shocked if you sprung everything on him at once." "I didn't tell you what happened last night before you came, did I?" Starling shook her head. "No, what?" "Yesterday afternoon I went to his apartment, and I found him, drugged, having sex with someone who's been...an enemy, I guess is the best way to put it, for years. He'd drugged Mulder. But what disturbed me the most...is that Krycek hadn't forced himself on Mulder, according to Mulder, he'd just initiated it - and Mulder had wanted him." She paused for a moment. "If Mulder was gay, that's fine, I could understand a litle more. But he's not. And Krycek?" She sighed. "That's what I don't understand. I know that something strange happened between them a few months ago, and it really shook Mulder up about Krycek, but he never told me exactly what happened." "You need to talk to him about it." "We had a huge fight yesterday about it." Scully looked up at the sky. "He came to my apartment after he...recovered. I was extremely angry. Not just at him, but because seeing him with another man brought back all the old memories of you." She brought Starling's hand up to her lips and kissed it. "It didn't have anything to do with you personally, except maybe the fact that I still missed you like crazy, but it was that I couldn't ever talk about you." Starling traced her finger over Scully's lips. "We were both working under the burden of silence, love. Talk to Mulder. Just as you couldn't talk about me, he couldn't talk about this Krycek." Scully sat up and maneuvered so that she was laying alongside Starling, curled against her. She laid her hand on the other woman's stomach. "I love you, Clari." "I love you, too." They laid in silence for awhile, watching the leaves dance above them. There will be more, I promise! :-) In SSBD 5, Scully and Mulder will have that conversation... violinst@pitnet.net Site X - http://personal.pitnet.net/london The Fox's Den (Fanfiction) - http://personal.pitnet.net/london/fic/fanfic.html The AlexWear Brigade - http://personal.pitnet.net/london/awb/kwear.html