Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2000 05:21:55 GMT
Subject: "Smoke" - MSR, H - NC-17

~~

Title:  Smoke

Author:  Shanda Weeks

E-mail:  SanaGail26@hotmail.com

Rating: NC-17

Spoilers: Deep Throat

Keywords: SRHA, MSR

Archive: Gossamer, Spookys, Freg & Ginger - yes.   Anyone else, please
ask first.

Disclaimer:  Would CC really let them do this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


9:47pm

Washington, DC

Scully sighed and looked at her partner. They had been standing in this
park for almost an hour now and they still hadn't seen the informant
that was supposed to meet them.

"He's not coming, Mulder," she said quietly. Mulder didn't answer, just
shot her a look and turned back toward the park. Scully shook her head
and once again stared out across the park. Another ten minutes passed
in complete silence.

"I suppose you're right," Mulder finally sighed. "He should've been
here an hour ago. I'm sorry I dragged you out here."

"Mulder, you know I came because I wanted to. I had to find out the
truth about Emily and well, I suppose if I had thought it would get me
closer to that I would have gone just about anywhere with you tonight."

Mulder chuckled and started to say something when they heard a noise.
They cautiously moved toward the group of trees to the left. Both of
them instinctively drew their weapons as they moved silently. When they
reached the line of trees, Mulder put his hand on Scully's arm and
nodded forward, then to the left. Scully nodded, understanding his
intention. She moved quietly to the left, away from Mulder.

Mulder watched her until she disappeared into the row of trees and then
he moved forward. When he stepped into the clearing his eyes focused on
three men. They hadn't seen him yet, so he remained quiet and still
until he saw the slight movement behind them that indicated Scully was
in position. Then he moved forward quickly, his weapon trained on the
man closest to him. He was taking no chances. It wouldn't be the first
time someone had tried to set them up.

"Federal Agents! Don't move!" he yelled as he approached the group.
They immediately scattered, running in different directions. One of
them tossed a small package off to the right as he fled. Mulder
hesitated only long enough to see Scully move to intercept him, and
then he quickly went to retrieve the package that had been thrown. He
let the other two men go; knowing that he would never catch them all.

He had just picked up a pack of cigarettes when he heard footsteps
approaching. He glanced up to see Scully dragging the man back toward
him. She had an amused smile on her face and he shot her a questioning
look. As they neared him he understood. The *man* she had was really a
young kid. Probably only sixteen or seventeen years old.

"I got him, Mulder," she said softly. "Did you find what he threw?"

"Yeah," Mulder answered smiling as he held up the cigarette
pack. "Although I'm not sure why he threw them away."

Scully released her hold on the boy and holstered her weapon. "So, care
to explain yourself?"

The boy shifted nervously from foot to foot. Mulder shook his head and
opened the pack. A low laugh made its way up his throat, but he quickly
pushed it down. His eyes sought and locked with Scully's and she could
read his intention to scare the kid.

"So, want to tell me what you're doing with these?" Mulder asked in his
best 'cop' voice as he held up the contents of the pack...three
perfectly rolled joints. For a second the kid looked like he might pee
his pants.

"We...um.... that is...." the kid stuttered.

Scully could hardly keep a straight face. She knew the routine, bad
cop/good cop. Apparently this time she was the good cop. She let the
kid sweat under Mulder's intense gaze for a few more minutes before she
spoke up. "Okay, three joints isn't really worth all the paperwork we'd
have to do. Why don't we let him go?"

Mulder appeared to contemplate this for a moment then nodded
slowly. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'd hate to have to spend the rest
of my Friday night doing paperwork for this." Then he looked back at
the boy. "Okay, you can go. But if I were you, I would stay away from
stuff like this. I might not be in such a good mood the next time," he
growled.

The boy hesitated only for a second before turning on his heel and
sprinting away. When he was out of earshot Scully began to laugh
uncontrollably. "Oh my god, Mulder!" she said between laughs. "That was
really...wow...best information I've had all year."

Mulder scowled at her, then his face broke into a grin and he shook his
head. "Come on, Scully, let's go. There isn't anything else going on
here tonight."

*****************

45 minutes later

Scully's apartment



"So, what are we going to do with those?" Scully asked as they walked
into her kitchen. Mulder carelessly dropped the pack onto the table and
stood quietly. She turned back to look at him. "Well?"

Mulder raised his eyebrow at her and his face broke into a teasing
grin. "Hey, Scully, did you ever do anything like that when you were a
kid?"

"Not that young. I did try it a couple times when I was in college."

"And?"

"Mulder, what does that have anything to do with this?"

Mulder chuckled lightly. "I was just curious, Scully."

She seemed to consider this for a moment. "Well, I only did it a couple
times because I found that it made my emotions way to easy for other
people to see. What about you? You do any drugs when you were young and
crazy?" She had a lazy smile on her face.

"Yeah. I did a lot of things that I probably shouldn't have done."

"Imagine that," she quipped sarcastically. Mulder just laughed. Then he
got serious and contemplated her face for a long moment before he spoke
again.

"I dare you," he said softly. Scully raised her eyebrow and gave him a
questioning look. "I dare you to smoke one with me."

"Mulder! You can't be serious!"

"Why not? We're both adults."

"We are also both federal officers and that is extremely illegal," she
pointed out.

"Come on, Scully, have a little fun. Who's gonna find out?"

"Mulder," she said, her voice carrying a warning. Mulder smiled at her.

"I dare you," he repeated. She crossed her arms and he knew that it
wouldn't take much more. Her pride had been picked at with his
dare. "Or are you afraid?"

She tapped her foot lightly and glanced around her kitchen. When her
eyes landed on Mulder's again she could see the teasing glint in them.
She knew that he would never let this dare go and she just wasn't one
to turn down a dare. Her pride just wouldn't let her. "Okay, Mulder.
Just one," she finally said. Mulder looked slightly surprised and she
grinned. "But you have to take the first hit."

Mulder was momentarily stunned that she'd actually accepted his dare.
Then he returned her smile and picked up one. "Okay, Scully. I can do
that. But, I need something to light it with."

Scully threw him a teasing smile and disappeared into her bedroom. She
returned a few minutes later with some matches. Mulder took one and
struck it, holding the joint between his lips and putting the fire
against it. He took as big a hit as he could and then handed it to
Scully. She held it, watching him until he started to cough violently.
Then she grinned and took a drag, almost as big as the one he had
taken. Mulder watched, waiting for her to cough, but she didn't.

He frowned at her and took the joint back, sitting down at the table
and taking another draw. Scully was grinning at him as she sat down
next to him. They didn't talk at all as they smoked the joint, both of
them trying to out do the other one. Before either one of them realized
it the joint was mostly gone. Mulder put it out and looked at Scully.
Her eyes were a little red and glazed over, but she seemed to be okay.
He felt a little out of it and knew that he was probably pretty stoned.

"So?" he asked quietly.

"So...." she answered.

************

3 hours later....

"Oh, my, Agent Mulder," Scully giggled. "I can't even believe you did
something like that!"

Mulder grinned sheepishly and looked around. On the coffee table in
front of them were the remains of the last two joints. He really didn't
remember lighting the last one, but he knew that he was really stoned.
They had migrated from the kitchen to the couch at some point and now
sat almost facing each other. He wasn't sure what was so funny, but
they'd been laughing so hard the past few minutes that he was hurting.

Scully felt giddy. That was the only way to explain it. She was so
relaxed and comfortable, and just having a really good time. Probably
too good, her reasonable mind muttered in the background. She gleefully
ignored the comment and went with the wonderful feeling that was
surrounding her. And then she realized that Mulder wasn't laughing any
more. He was watching her.

Her breath caught in her throat when she caught the look in his eyes.
Her laughter and smile both slowly fading, her eyes caught in his,
unable to look away. Mulder slowly reached out his hand and brushed a
stray strand of hair behind her ear. When his fingers lightly touched
her skin they both jumped from the electrical pulse that surged between
them. His eyes slowly dropped to her lips, running over them in a
gentle caress, then they slid back up to her eyes.

"Scully," Mulder whispered softly, his voice deep and husky with
emotion. She felt her heart skip several beats and then pick up
erratically at the tone in his voice. She knew exactly what would
happen if she didn't send him home right now. But she couldn't.

She couldn't send away the one thing that she had wanted for so long.
Not when he was looking at her like that. She felt a shiver run through
her and words escaped her. She closed her eyes against the welling tide
of emotion in her heart. In the next instant she felt Mulder's lips
close softly over hers, just a gentle brush of lips and then he pulled
back to look at her.

Scully couldn't breath. She couldn't believe Mulder had kissed her. Her
eyes slowly fluttered open and locked with his. She was momentarily
shocked at the intense desire she saw reflected back at her. Then she
realized that he was seeing the same thing in her. She wanted more of
him.

Mulder felt his reaction instantly when her eyes opened to his. The
fire in the soft blue depths took his breath away. He reached out and
tangled his hand in her hair, pulling her back to him, his lips
claiming hers again, more demanding this time. He gently nipped her
lower lip with his teeth and then ran his tongue along it soothingly.
She immediately opened her mouth, allowing him to explore her
completely.

And that was it. The minute she felt him invade her mouth she knew it
was lost. Neither one of them could remember moving there, but they
were soon falling together onto the bed. They had both lost their
clothing in the process too. Hands were everywhere, touching,
exploring, caressing. Their lips were still locked into a hot
passionate kiss. She wasn't sure where she ended and Mulder began. She
could feel his hands, sliding down her stomach. She moaned softly when
his fingers dipped into the wetness waiting for him.

Mulder drew in a sharp breath. He couldn't believe how wet she already
was. Had he done this to her? He was beginning to wonder how long he
would be able to wait when she wrapped her legs around his waist and
arched up toward him. Mulder felt the last remaining shreds of his
tattered control fall apart and he moved into her quickly. For a moment
neither one of them moved. Then the damn opened and it seemed they
couldn't get enough of each other.

Scully couldn't believe the swirling sensations that were coursing
through her body right now. She felt like she was free falling. Her
hands clutched desperately at Mulder's shoulders as she met his pace
thrust for thrust. Her breath was coming in short hard gasps and she
squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Then the first shivering contractions
of her orgasm started and she was lost. She tossed her head back, her
mouth falling open in a silent cry as her body tensed and then began to
convulse around him.

Mulder watched in amazement as Scully threw her head backward and
arched up under him. When he felt her inner muscles contracting around
him he completely lost it. With a few more hard thrusts he was coming
too, emptying himself into her as the waves washed through him. He
heard his own voice from far away, calling out to her as he fell.

They collapsed together, still entwined. When his breathing had
returned to normal Mulder raised up and looked at her. Scully had her
eyes closed still, and she was wearing a sweet little smile. He gently
brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Scully?" he whispered softly.

"Shh..." she mumbled, placing two fingers over his mouth. "No words,
Mulder. Just hold me."

He sighed. The words could wait. He planted a gently kiss on her head
and closed his eyes. He would tell her tomorrow all the things he
wanted to say. This time she would believe him. They would be able to
do this, finally. He drifted off to sleep with thoughts of loving
Scully playing in his head.

**************

**************

7am next morning.....

Scully woke up slowly. Her head felt a little hazy and thick. She
sighed and tried to roll over only to find that she was held securely
in someone's arms. She froze, her mind desperately trying to put
together what had happened and who was in her bed. It only took a
moment for her to recognize Mulder's form next to her.

She drew a deep breath and extracted herself from his embrace, moving
to sit on the edge of the bed. She rubbed her head and concentrated on
last night. The informant that had never shown up, the kids with the
pot...oh, god. Now she knew what was wrong with her. She had let Mulder
goad her into getting stoned with him last night. Her eyes fell on the
bed and his naked form, then back to her own naked body.

Sweet Jesus! She really didn't want to think about this right now. With
shaking legs she moved toward the bathroom. She barely had the door
shut before the tears started to fall. She couldn't believe what had
happened. She had slept with Mulder. And the really bad part was, she
had wanted to for so long. But last night she had allowed all the
emotion she tried so hard to hide to come out.

And apparently Mulder had enjoyed it. He had let her do this. Oh, no.
What if he'd only done it because he was stoned and horny? She just
couldn't handle that. But what else could it be? He'd never made a
serious pass at her. If he wanted her, if he loved her, wouldn't't he
have said that before? Especially before last night happened? The only
explanation that left was Mulder was high, horny, and saw that she
wanted him and decided to take her up on it.

That thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. Somehow it didn't sound
right to her own mind, but she couldn't think of anything else that
made sense. She quietly slid into the bathtub and laid her head back,
allowing the tears to fall unchecked.

Mulder lay quietly, listening to her movement. He had woke up when she
moved out of his arms this morning, but wanted to watch her. So, he'd
pretended to sleep. And then he'd seen the way she looked at him, at
herself. And he'd seen the pain behind her eyes. It went through his
heart like a knife.

God, could he have been wrong? Did she really not care about him? Could
last night really have been only an awkward situation that had to be
worked through with her? He shivered with a sudden cold and pushed
himself up in the bed. From the other side of the bathroom door he
could hear her quiet sobs. The sharp jab of pain that shot through his
chest brought tears to his own eyes.

Damn it. He had to talk to her now. It couldn't wait. He had to know
how she felt. He needed desperately to tell her how he felt. With
something very close to dread in his heart he stood up and moved to the
bathroom door. He paused only briefly, only long enough to hear her
long shuddering sigh and soft hitching noises before knocking gently on
the door.

Scully sat up and forced her tears away. She couldn't talk to him right
now. She didn't think she would ever be able to face him again. But he
wasn't going away. She drew a deep breath when he knocked again, more
forcefully.

"Scully?" his voice was soft and tentative. She remained silent, hoping
that he would go away.

He didn't. He knocked again. She slowly stood up and wrapped a towel
around her, carefully avoiding her reflection in the mirror. She still
hadn't answered him.

"Scully, I'm coming in," he called softly before turning the knob and
stepping into the bathroom. Scully kept her back to the door, not
turning around when he came in. She knew that if she looked at him she
wouldn't be able to send him home.

"Mulder, I think you should leave now," she whispered, her voice
cracking slightly. Mulder froze, his heart thumping painfully in his
chest. He stood quietly for a moment, battling with the lump in his
throat before he could answer her.

"I'm not leaving, Scully. Not until you talk to me," he answered,
trying to make his voice sound strong, but failing miserably. He felt
like he was being torn apart inside. A soft voice in the back of his
mind kept reminding him that he should have known better than to think
he could have what he wanted with her. She would never want him like
that. It had been a fling for her. Something she obviously regretted.

Scully clenched her fists tightly to keep from screaming. She really
didn't want to do this now. She didn't know if she had the strength
right now to look him in the eye and agree when he told her it
shouldn't have happened. What else could he say? She knew he didn't
really think of her that way. He was just trying to make sure they were
still friends. She shuddered and absently nodded her head.

"Okay, Mulder. I'm listening."

Mulder looked at her back quizzically at her tone. It was forced and
full of something that sounded like pain. He drew a deep breath and
started to talk before he lost his nerve. "Scully, I need you to know
something. I wanted to tell you so many times...I tried to tell you
last night. I-I...well, I um...." he paused and shakily ran a hand
through his hair. "I love you, Scully. I have for a long time and I was
always too afraid to tell you. I um...I don't guess I have anything
else to say. So, I'll just.... I'll go now if you want me to," he
finished quietly.

Scully couldn't breath. Did he just say he loved her? Her heart was
thumping painfully in her chest. He couldn't possibly have meant that
could he? He was probably only trying to make her feel better. Maybe he
thought he'd get a repeat performance. Bitter tears welled up in her
eyes and she fought them for only a second before she allowed them to
fall down her face. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"Mulder, please...everything is fine. You don't have to-" she trailed
off and drew a deep steadying breath. "I don't expect anything. We were
both under the influence and not ourselves. It's fine. I'm fine," she
finished quietly, desperation in her voice. She knew that if she faced
him he would see that it was a lie. He would see that she loved him and
that this was tearing her apart.

"Scully," Mulder pleaded, equally as quiet. "Please. Please look at me."

She had to look at him. She knew that he wouldn't leave unless she
could look him in the eye and convince him that she was okay, that
*they* were okay. But she had no idea how to do that. How could she
make him believe a lie when he knew her so well? He would know that she
wasn't telling him the truth. There was no way she could hide it from
him. Not now. Not after hearing everything she had always hoped to hear
from him. But she had to. She had to try to make him believe. Just
enough to get him to leave, then it would all be okay again. She drew a
quiet breath and turned slowly toward him. Her eyes were focused on the
floor and she took a moment before she raised them up his still naked
body to his eyes.

What she saw there took her breath away. His eyes were shining brightly
with unshed tears and they were filled with the most intense pain and
guilt and fear and desire...and love. She shuddered and tried to force
the cool professional mask back into place. She had already broke down
in front of him, she couldn't let him see how much this was hurting her
or she would never get through it.

Mulder watched her slowly turn toward him, her eyes focused on the
floor. She didn't speak for the longest time and he felt a hollow, icy
feeling start in the vicinity of his heart and spread outward. She
probably didn't really care. He sighed softly. He shouldn't have told
her, but damn it, she needed to know. She had to know the truth, even
if it was only his truth. When her eyes at last focused on his he felt
like someone had kicked him. There were tears streaming down her
cheeks. And she didn't seem to realize it. He watched her carefully,
hoping that she could see the truth in his eyes. She still didn't
speak.

"I'm sorry, Scully. I never meant to hurt you," he whispered. "I should
have told you how I feel a long time ago. I'm extremely sorry that I
didn't tell you before last night. But, Scully, it is the truth. I love
you. I love you with everything that I have and everything that I am.
It was that way before this happened, and it will always be that way. I
shouldn't have.." he choked and cleared his throat. "I shouldn't have
made love to you last night because we were both high. You're right. We
should have waited. But we didn't. And I'm not sorry that I made love
to you. I'm sorry that I didn't do it the way I always wanted to," he
finished quietly.

Mulder watched her carefully for any reaction. She just stood there and
stared at him. He finally decided that she wanted him to leave. She
hadn't said a word to his confession and he was beginning to feel
awkward standing here waiting for her to. With slight sag of his
shoulders he turned and walked back into the bedroom, cursing himself
silently for being so stupid. He shouldn't have allowed what happened
last night. He shouldn't have allowed himself to kiss her, to touch
her. Hell, he shouldn't have made that stupid dare that got them into
this in the first place.

Scully was too shocked to move at first when he turned and walked away.
Then she realized that he must think that she still wanted him to
leave. She started after him, catching a glimpse of herself in the
mirror. Did she want him to go? No, she didn't. She loved him and all
she really wanted to do was pull him into her arms and never let him
go. So, genius, she asked herself bitterly, why are you just standing
here listening to him leave? Go after him!

Scully moved quickly into her room and behind Mulder. He froze when he
heard her soft footsteps come up behind him. He was afraid to move,
afraid to look at her for fear of what he would see in her eyes. His
heart felt like it was going to explode. Then he felt her hand on his
arm, tugging gently, trying to get him to turn toward her. He resisted
only for a moment, then he allowed himself to be turned around. His
eyes met hers and he drew in a deep breath. He could see all the
emotion she had never spoken in her eyes.

She smiled softly, still a little unsure and Mulder's lips curved into
a huge grin. Scully couldn't help the soft laugh that rose up in her
throat. He did love her. She could see it in his eyes. And she knew
that he could see how she felt too. But she felt the urge to say it, to
make sure that he understood. After all, sometimes unspoken
communication didn't get the message across well enough.

"I love you so much, Mulder," she whispered softly.

Mulder felt his heart stutter slightly at her words. All the
uncertainty he'd had since waking up started to fade away. She loved
him. She'd actually said it. He wasn't sure who had moved first, but
they were soon standing in each other's arms, gently rubbing and
caressing. Scully nuzzled her nose into the hollow of his throat and
placed a soft gentle kiss there.

"God, Scully," he sighed quietly. "I love you more than anything."

Her eyebrow arched slightly and she got a mischievous grin on her
face. "Really?"

"Definitely," he answered without hesitation.

"Would you care to prove that to me?" she asked, trying desperately to
keep a straight face.

"And how would you propose I do that?"

She laughed and pressed her body tightly against his. "Make love to me,
Mulder."

Mulder smiled and pressed his lips to hers in a deep, hot kiss. When he
broke the kiss he kept his mouth close to hers, his lips still barely
brushing against her as he spoke. "With pleasure." And then he swept
her into his arms and moved them both to the bed, placing her carefully
down.

Scully sighed and laced her fingers into his hair as his mouth left
hers and made a path down her neck and across her collarbone. God, what
he could do with those lips. She didn't think she'd ever felt anything
like this before. His hands moved carefully to the knot that held her
towel together and pulled it loose, exposing her body to him. His
fingers brushed lightly over her breasts, teasing her nipples until
they were hard. Then he firmly cupped her breast and lowered his mouth
to the small point on the top.

Scully moaned helplessly as his lips closed around her sensitive flesh.
Her hands roamed absently across his chest and over his shoulders. One
hand laced into the hair at the back of his head, pressing him closer
to her and the other slipped down his back, pulling his lower body
closer to hers. Mulder sighed against her and trailed one of his hands
down to her thigh.

His fingers ran lightly over her thigh and up to the damp tangle of
auburn curls. He toyed with her for a moment, running one finger up and
down her folds with just enough pressure to be felt. She squirmed and
rocked her hips up at him, silently begging him not to tease her.
Mulder raised up and gently kissed her again. Then with a soft smile he
complied, slipping his finger completely into her and moving his thumb
up to gently circle the bundle of nerves at the top.

Scully couldn't stop the deep moan that left her throat when Mulder
pushed another finger into her, increasing the pumping motion of his
hand. She pushed herself harder against him, wanting to feel more of
him. She could feel her muscles tightening, her body climbing toward
the peak. Then he removed his fingers and drew back, his slightly
unfocused eyes locking with hers.

She reached up and drew his head back down to hers, placing a soft kiss
on his cheek before claiming his lips hotly. Mulder broke the kiss and
raised up on his elbows, positioning himself to enter her. She could
read the question in his eyes as he gazed at her. She answered him the
best way she could, with her eyes. He gave her a sly, half smile and
then pushed his hips forward, entering her in one smooth thrust.

Scully rocked up against him and drew him as deep into her as she
could. They both began to move, rocking their hips slowly against one
another, eyes still locked together. Mulder's hands framed her face and
he dropped gentle butterfly kisses on every part of her face and neck
that he could reach. They continued to watch one another as the pace
started to increase. Scully knew that it wouldn't be long. She could
feel the sensations building once again, moving quickly toward the
edge. Her head tossed restlessly on the pillow as the feelings
increased.

Then she tensed and her eyes widened slightly, catching Mulder's eyes
again. When their gazes locked together she fell over the edge, her
muscles convulsing rhythmically around him and her whole body shaking
with the force. Her fingernails dug into the flesh on Mulder's and she
cried out, her voice broken and hoarse.

"Oh...oh, god, Mulder...."

Mulder held on as long as he could, watching the expression shift
across her face. Then he felt the sharp sting of her nails on his
shoulders and that was all it took to make him lose it. His lower body
went rigid and then he was shuddering and gripping her tightly to him
as he came. He finally relaxed and his body collapsed limply onto hers.

For a few minutes he lay there trying to catch his breath. When he
thought he could move again, he slowly pulled out of her and rolled
onto his side, bringing her close against him and wrapping his arms
tightly around her. Scully snuggled into his warmth and returned his
tight embrace. Her eyes were closed and she inhaled deeply, taking in
the scent of Mulder...and of them. She opened her eyes when she felt
his fingers gently stroking her temple.

"I love you, Scully," he whispered, his voice husky and if she was not
mistaken, still with just a bit of a desperate edge. She smiled and ran
her finger over his bottom lip.

"I know, Mulder. I love you too," she answered. Mulder stared at her
for a long moment and then dropped a chaste kiss on her forehead. They
snuggled close together and drifted into a blissful slumber.



************THE END*************


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