From: Ten Date: Sat, 2 May 1998 17:13:13 +1000 (EST) Subject: "So Near, Sofa-r" (1/1) by Ten I would love feedback on my work! TITLE: "So Near, Sofa-r" (1/1) BY: Ten E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au CATEGORY: H, V, R RATING: R for adult situations SUMMARY: Mulder's hot date leads to some spectacular jealousy. A different kind of first wives club. TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: None. DEDICATION: To Gerry Hill, great fanfic writer and great friend. Thanks for all the fun and support! Thanks to Macspooky, Debbie, Crash and Frogdoggie. DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and the characters of Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. The X-Files: "So Near, Sofa-r" (1/1) by Ten, written 16-17/4/98 "He's not - is he? He *can't* be!" "He is!" "Here???? After all he and I have shared together?" "And he and *I* - us, thank you!" "Of course. With all we've shared in this very spot...now he's doing it with THAT WOMAN!!!! Has he no sense of, of..." "He's got no sense to speak of..." "After all the nights that he's used me, this is my thanks? All the times I've cradled him in my embrace, comforted him through the nights and nightmares, heard his secrets, loved him -" "What about me? After all that I've shown him! He's seen *everything*! Any time of the day or night he expected me to turn on and perform. Not a minute's rest." "You didn't have to put up with his bare feet! Or the seeds - they really rub, you know. The Lone Gunmen and their paws..." "I had to put up with those videos! And I don't even like porn. Oh, I can't look... How dare he do this to us...I'll...I'll destroy all his tapes!" "I had to suffer through the shows too. Him and the two of us. The threesome that kept loneliness at bay. But now *she* thinks she can just swan in and have him." "Well, he's not putting up a fight, is he? Son of a - " "How could he forget how important we are to him? I'm not going to let him do this. This calls for drastic action." "What are you going to do? Don't be rash, now..." "I'm sorry, my friend, but my heart is broken. I'm not going to be a part of this." "Oh God, YES!" Mulder cried out, mind reeling. "Don't stop - please don't stop!" "I won't..." God, she sounded so sexy and the things she was doing to him as they rolled around... Clothes were flying everywhere and those kisses needed some sort of temperature warning and yes he'd got the bra off - whoa! To think that here, on his old battered couch, it was finally happening. That hand down his jeans was for once not his own. Oh yes, now if he could just rip those panties off her - Her mouth was sealed to his, her hands...the world was going to tear apart if they kept this up. He could hear it straining at the seams... A horrible creaking ripping sproinging dying breaking noise broke through his lust-filled mind. The world literally began to move. The couch gave in to its broken heart with gusto even unseen on the TV, its confidante. A swandive death as it broke apart, sending naked limbs, springs, cushions, old seeds and clothes sailing in every direction. Mulder ended up in a winded heap over his coffee table. Seed husks hailed down around him. He painfully prised himself up a little. "Scully, you okay over there?" His dishevelled, semi-naked partner was sprawled across the armchair where she had fortunately landed. A couch spring was impaled in the wall three inches from her head. "Well, I always imagined that sex with you wouldn't be dull... I didn't count on so many bruises though... Ouch..." There was a banging on the wall. "Crazy Fibbie! You damnwell better stop bouncing that basketball!" "I was doing a different kind of banging, thank you!" Mulder looked around for his basketball. Another victim of a spring. He wailed. Scully giggled and purred: "Don't worry, Mulder - I'll fix your ball...s..." She had finally declared to Mulder how she felt about him today, and now she was determined to see the consequences through to a climax. But Mulder had noticed something else - "My TV!!!!" The tube was shattered and the VCR slot was attempting to swallow yet another spring. "I'll more than make up for it, Mulder," Scully promised, sliding towards him a little more stiffly than she intended. Then he noticed his beloved couch. And screamed. He began to rock back and forth on the coffee table, unable to take in the carnage. The leather couch looked like it had been ground zero to a bomb explosion. Jealousy was a powerful detonator. Only a twisted husk remained. "It's gone, it's gone, it's gone..." he repeated over and over, but he was unable to believe it. "Mulder, I'm sorry, I know you spent a lot of time on it, but now you can spend a lot of time *on* me. I'll be more interactive, I promise! And I can recline like you'd never believe..." "But, the things I did on that couch!" "Things?" She wasn't pleased. "Alone, or with company?" He waggled his right hand at her. "You have a much better chest though." Then he saw a half-dead cushion splayed over the floor and bit his lip. "You can use these as a cushion." She gestured at her chest. "I just feel like I've lost a dear friend." "But you've gained a hot lover." "Yeah...I guess..." "Mourn and move on. I've waited long enough for this moment and I'm not letting a piece of furniture hamper it." Mulder shrugged helplessly. "I can't just put it aside in a few minutes... We had some great times." "How about if we see if sex therapy can realign your priorities?" She came around to sit in his lap, blocking his view of the couch, and then she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. Again and again and again. She pulled back. His eyes were glazed with amazement. She had won. "If you couch it in those terms..." he whispered. "Come on, G-man." Scully got up and pulled Mulder up too. She led him past the couch, which he didn't even notice any more, and headed for the bedroom. The bed was having her usual boring day, squatting there in the dim, dusty room, making small talk with the wardrobe, until she heard the activities in the loungeroom and the couch's demise. Talk about a Greek tragedy... Taking the TV and VCR with her...how melodramatic! And to think the couch had been so smug all these years, boasting about having Fox all to herself. Then she heard noises. Mulder and Scully. They were coming down the hallway. They were coming to the bedroom - they wanted to... they were going to... After all those years of neglect, over preferring a leather couch to a nice comfy mattress, he was going to just waltz in here with that woman and have a wild time???? The bed bristled her springs. That's what HE thought! THE END. And as much as I didn't intend it, a sequel seems to be hammering away inside my head, and will come along shortly...