From: Spock Date: 14 Nov 2004 13:56:26 -0800 Subject: New Fic: Soot or Salt? (1/1) Source: atxc Title: Soot or Salt? Author: Spock Category: MSR, X Rating: R, some swearing. Spoilers: None, set in UST era Disclaimer: I don't own, CC, Fox, 1013 Prod do, do not sue. Feedback: always appreciated at spockdaggo@yahoo.co.uk Archive: Ephemeral, Gossamer, anywhere else, just ask Summary: Mulder explores the Thespian within and the possibilities without. Author's notes: Mulder is the kind of guy who is creative in more ways than one, and I firmly believe he writes. Bear with me as I explore this. Soot or Salt? By Liam M. Fixlow Darkness. A bubbling. Lights up on a lonely fish tank, center stage. There is only one fish swimming in its eerie green. A vehement sigh is heard from behind the aquarium, and a man shuffles into view. This is WAYNE MILLER, an FBI-agent. He is tall and broad-shouldered. His dark hair is tousled; his eyes are drooping. He is wearing gray sweats and no shoes. He touches the side of the tank, leans down and whispers. WAYNE: Dolly, we are not alone. The fish swims around in her tank and WAYNE watches her for some time. As the fish swims laps, the stage rotates and the lights show a scantily furnished living room with a leather couch to the right of the fish tank; a desk and chair can be seen to the far left. WAYNE shuffles to the couch and sits down. WAYNE: I am not alone. He closes his eyes, shakes his head and laughs. A spotlight lights a fridge to the right of the couch. WAYNE opens his eyes and notices the fridge. WAYNE : But I _am_ hungry. He gets up and walks to the white appliance and opens it, peering inside. He takes out a stale piece of cheese, knocks on its surface and tosses it back and slams the door shut. WAYNE: Dolly, (he says warningly) don't smirk. I know you. The fish tank bubbling continues. WAYNE turns to the fish, frowns and walks back to the dark-green leather couch up on center stage and tests the springs before sitting back down. He sits on something. It is his cell phone. WAYNE: Ah. He grabs it, yet almost drops it in his eagerness, dials a number and taps his bare feet on the hard wood floor. WAYNE: Yes, Miller here, number 14 with extra cheese, please. WAYNE puts the cell phone onto the couch. Darkness. SCENE 2 Lights come on again. WAYNE sits on his couch eating pizza, feverishly, barely chewing. There is a knock on a door. He mumbles his welcome with a mouthful of pizza, a strand of cheese hanging from the corner of his mouth, he gets up and walks out of sight, to let his guest in. It's Her. NICOLE BUCKETT, his FBI-partner. And he lets her in and they walk to the couch. She is shorter than him, her hair is hidden in a stylish beret. She is wearing a black, slim-line coat, blue jeans and high-heel boots. Her face sports a purse-lipped and blood-red mouth and she is standing tip-toe to reach his face, yet notices the cheese and decides to wait with the romance. WAYNE: What's up, Buck? WAYNE plops down on the couch. He enthusiastically bites into another slice of pizza. BUCK cocks her head and sighs. BUCK: Mil, you mean to say you have forgotten our day-to-day arrangement, our afternoon affections? Our Sunday fun? I am shocked. MIL: (notices her sarky tone) You are an hour late. BUCK: Aah. Mother called. Dinner crisis. Not enough salt on a Sunday. MIL: Since when does she use salt? BUCK: Since she discovered it tastes better with. MIL: Wow. BUCK sits down next MIL and they attempt a kiss around his mouthful of crust. MIL gets a crumb down the wrong way and he begins coughing violently. BUCK hits him on the back. BUCK sighs: Maybe this is a sign. MIL dries his tears and shoves the rest of the pizza away. BUCK is looking at him intently, waiting for his response. Finally, it registers with him. MIL quietly: Not enough salt for you? BUCK: I need a drink. Gets up and walks to the fridge. Opens it and takes out two beers. MIL: Too salty? BUCK kicks the refrigerator door shut with a loud clunk. You can hear beer bottles clinking inside. BUCK: You know, ...Mil, ever since we have had this arrangement you don't... MIL: What? BUCK: --appear as excited about work. MIL: Really? BUCK hands MIL one of the beer bottles. BUCK: You don't challenge me anymore. BUCK sits down. BUCK: You don't. Opens her beer bottle. MIL: You want a challenge? Of course, every woman wants that. They don't want romance and tranquility, they want adventure and confrontation. Need I remind you this was your idea? BUCK: I know, Mil. You excited me with your theories, it was very sexy, I admit. But, I didn't want you to turn into a lap dog. Sitting around here, waiting for me. When was the last time you went out for a jog? MIL: You think I am fat? MIL presses his thumb into his stomach. BUCK: I didn't want you to become this normal. MIL: You call this normal? This pacing? Mil gets up and starts pacing. BUCK: When was the last time you gave me a slide show at work? MIL: What do you mean? The hum of an overhead projector can be heard and MIL stops pacing and hovers haughtily in the limelight of the overhead now showing a picture of a dead cow. BUCK: When was the last time you presented me with an out-of-this-world case and demanded we go halfway across the country? Are you really settling for this? All you needed was sex? The dead cow disappears. BUCK takes a swig of her beer and leans back in the couch pillows. MIL walks over to the fridge and sets his full beer bottle on top of it. MIL: I thought it was what you wanted. Turns to look at BUCK who stares back at him. Darkness. SCENE 3 Lights show BUCK sitting on the chair; MIL is on the couch, eating the last bits of pizza. BUCK: It's Monday tomorrow. MIL: You want to quit then? BUCK: Give me a reason not to. MIL: We'll stop seeing each other for one. This is madness. BUCK: Of course. MIL: Of course. Silence except for the bubbling of the fish tank. BUCK gets up from her chair and walks over to Dolly. BUCK: What happened to the three others? MIL: They died. BUCK: How? MIL: By suffocation. Darkness. SCENE 4 Light come on and show MIL and BUCK kissing on the couch. BUCK'S beret is on the floor and her red curls are bouncing around her face in a wild dance. They stop kissing and MIL looks at her intently. MIL: Well? BUCK: You have grown too familiar and too strange at the same time. BUCK gets up and picks up her beret from the floor. MIL: Well then. Let's fight instead. MIL gets up quickly and snatches BUCK'S beret and threatens to drop it into Dolly's waters. BUCK: Keep it, it's not that cold out today anyway. MIL hands her her beret, and shifts uneasily from one foot to the other. MIL: We can't find a way back? BUCK: I am afraid we stepped over that final line when we gave into passion. We blew it, Mil. MIL: You want to quit now I assume. BUCK: No. MIL: What do you want? BUCK: The old you. The one I cannot touch. Your brilliant mind and outrageous thoughts that used to drive me crazy. MIL: But you _wanted_ me. BUCK: Yes, so what? You should have said no. MIL: Fuck. BUCK: Yes. You should have stayed focused on what really mattered to you. It was what I found attractive about you. Now look at you. You focus on seeing me, and it's killing me to see it. When I am not here,...I am afraid to ask. MIL: It's Monday tomorrow. BUCK: Yes. (sighs) MIL: We can try. BUCK: Yes. Darkness. SCENE 4 Light come on and we can see MIL'S and BUCK'S office at FBI HQ. Two desks are propped against each other and next to them is a file cabinet with a coffee maker on it. BUCK is typing away on her laptop. MIL is standing by the file cabinet flicking through a file. MIL: Monday morning, Buck. BUCK: Yes, Mil. MIL: New day, new possible ways to fuck it up. BUCK: Yes, Mil. MIL: I have nothing here. MIL shoves the file in one of the drawers. BUCK: The old you found a case in everything. MIL slams the cabinet drawer shut, making the coffee pot almost tip over. MIL: What do you want me to say? BUCK: Pour me some coffee. MIL takes the pot and pours his partner a cup. BUCK closes her laptop. MIL: All I am good for. BUCK: You spilled a drop. MIL: You won't provoke me, Buck. I am a lost case. I can't argue anymore. I can't make you furious, nor you me. BUCK: Let's try harder. The phone rings. Both watch the appliance. MIL brings the pot to the coffee maker and takes the receiver and answers. MIL: Hello? Yes. This is him. Yes. A case? When? Uh-huh. MIL sets down the receiver and smiles at BUCK drinking her coffee. MIL: Get your stuff, Starbuck. BUCK: There is case? Darkness. SCENE 5 Lights on a seedy motel room somewhere in Carolina. A single bed and a nightstand. MIL is sitting on the bed, looking at a set of pictures. BUCK walks into view. BUCK: The bathroom looks like a crime scene. I swear I found a piece of a woman's thumb in the sink. MIL: These pictures were taken in the house, Buck. BUCK dries her hand, disgusted. BUCK: The Simpson home? MIL: This is what it looked like in Seattle, this (shows another picture) is what it looked like a block away from here. BUCK: How can we know for sure this isn't a publicity stunt? This construction company, Beautiful Homes Ltd, I checked them out. Mr Simpson owns some shares. MIL: This is the exact same house, Buck. It transported, quite simply. Look at this empty Seattle suburb estate, picture from the local newspaper with date proves it. This home would have to have been put to pieces and built up again in a matter of hours, thousand miles away. See, the same conservatory, and everything. BUCK: Beautiful Homes Ltd. has been on the verge of bankruptcy for some time now. Mr Simpson's economy rests to a great extent on the business. This fantastic move would be great PR, it... MIL: So? How does that explain how a house and the family inside it can move overnight from Seattle to Carolina? And they didn't even wake up? And don't give me a scientific explanation, there are none. And Mr Simpson's financial problems is a motive, yes, but do they give us the means? I do believe there are greater forces at work here. BUCK: There is a trick, is all. Our job is to explain it to the Simpsons, to their new neighbors. All those people out there in that street need some answers fast. They want a logical explanation. Mil, logical. I say they were kidnapped, flown by... BUCK paces the floor as she mumbles out more scientific theories until MIL beckons her to his bedside. MIL: I know where to begin. BUCK: Really? MIL: Look at this picture. Do you see anything different? Anything at all? BUCK: No. What am I supposed to see? MIL: On the roof. See those black marks on the tiles. BUCK: Yeah? MIL: God's fingerprints, Buck. Darkness SCENE 6 Lights. MIL and BUCK are climbing down a ladder. BUCK: Soot, Mil. Soot. MIL: Admit, they were large, there were two sets of five and looked like gigantic finger prints. Admit it. BUCK: During all the cases we have investigated together over the years, this must be the most absolutely ridiculous theory you have ever offered. MIL: If God did this... BUCK: No! BUCK stalks past MIL, without looking at him. After she has left, MIL smiles an extremely broad smile and wipes his fingers. Darkness. THE END Mental note: Don't show this to Scully. Don't leave it lying around in the office, in fact, burn this piece of crap right now! God's fingerprints??? Us, a couple?????