From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 30 Jul 2002 16:12:26 -0000
Subject: Speechless by MuldersMamma
Source: direct

Reply To: muldersmamma@hotmail.com


Title: Speechless
Authors: MuldersMamma & TuChicken 
Rating: NC-17 for language, sex and violence...and all 
the goodies (-;
Classification: SRA
Spoilers: None significant
Keywords: MSR, Rape-fic (not related)
Summary: Scully and Mulder get into a fight...little 
do they know that later on, they will both pay a 
price... 
 
Disclaimer: Yeah. That's right. WE OWN MULDER AND 
SCULLY. Yeah. Sure. DID YOU HEAR US, CC?! We OWN them! 
They're ours! So THERE! Okay...bad joke. They aren't 
ours. They sadly belong to all the greasers at FOX and 
1013. But one day...We WILL own you.
Notes: This takes place in...Season 6-ish
-Please note: This story has very graphic and violent 
situations. This is a rape fic. Underage or highly 
sensitive readers should not read.
-ALSO! This story is extremely shippy. **Really** 
shippy. DO NOT read unless you are a hard-core shipper 
(like us...or most of the time, in Chicken's case 
<from Jenn -- > she's weird that way>), because you 
will only want to flame us. We promise. 
Please review!! muldersmamma@hotmail.com, and 
kisskill@myself.com (TuChicken)
---More authors notes at end! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flight 508
Over Dallas 
November 1999
8: 45 PM
"Mulder." 
"Yeah?"
"Move it."
"Why should I?"
"Because I can't feel my lap."
Mulder heaved himself up off his titan-haired partner 
as the stewardess came around to tell everyone to put 
everything in the up-right position for landing; that 
included Mulder's body. 
"I take it that we're almost there, Scully," Mulder 
said, fixing his tie.
"That's a very astute assessment, partner," Scully 
said as she made sure that everything was under her 
chair. Mulder stretched his legs casually out into the 
aisle and stretched his arms. 
"Damn Scully...I didn't know flying to Texas would 
take so long..." he said through yawns. Scully 
chuckled. 
"It's even harder when you have two hundred pounds 
worth of someone on your lap. Just be happy I didn't 
have to make a mad dash to the lavatory," Scully 
smiled. "What I do for you." 
Mulder sighed. "Yeah, sacrificing lap...and 
Versace...just for me!" 
"Mulder...you killed it," Scully laughed. 
"Please prepare for landing," the captain's voice 
boomed over the intercom. Scully turned to Mulder and 
gave him a knowing look. She hated flying. His 
presence made her feel better. They linked hands 
gently under the armrest as she closed her eyes. 
Mulder grinned inside...this was so girly of her...the 
side he didn't see so often. But he loved her for it.
Highway 44
Near Dallas, Texas
10:14 PM
"So Mulder...care to tell me what this case is about?"
"I haven't told you yet?"
"No, you haven't. And as your partner, I'm thinking I 
have the right to know,"
Scully answered tight-lipped. What was with him and 
keeping cases from her until
AFTER they landed? He just wanted to make sure she 
would stay.
Mulder cleared his throat. "Well, you see, there have 
been some car thefts...from looking at the case I 
would say something about...a man who can dissolve 
metal with a touch."
"Really," Scully sighed. Another one of 
these..."Mulder, don't you think there's something 
more dangerous and sinister that we could be 
investigating other than a bunch of car 
thefts...dealing with a guy that can dissolve metal? 
Whatever happened to the UFOs?"
"Seeing that there have been reports of forty nine 
stolen vehicles in the past three weeks, a UFO quite 
possibly could have been one of them," Mulder quipped. 
He turned to see her response. She wasn't smiling. 
"Scully, I know it sounds dumb...but Skinner asked me 
to look into this," he offered as he pulled into the 
hotel parking lot.
"All right Mulder...whatever. Just don't let me waste 
my time with car thefts..." she muttered. 
What is with her? She was cool on the plane...she was 
even a friend on the plane...not just his associate. 
"Wasting your time, Scully? I'm so sorry..." he said 
revealing a little more sarcasm in every word. "You 
could have stayed back at DC you know..."
"I would have if you told me so, Mulder. Seriously 
Mulder, how much stupider can these cases get? Next 
thing I know, I will be chasing Casper the Friendly
Ghost!" she said heatedly. 
Mulder tugged the keys out of the ignition. 
"I HOPE you didn't say what you just said because if 
you did, this is going to be a long case for me and 
you." 
She didn't even give a response, Scully just got out 
of the car and slammed the door shut with a swear. He 
got out and ran after her. 
"Scully, don't be so stubborn! I really can't believe 
how mule-headed you are about some things!" She turned 
around quickly and stared right up into his face. 
"Me? Stubborn? Hah! You're shitting me Mulder. I can't 
believe that the first thing that comes to your mind 
about these goddamn car thefts is that they could be 
from some metal man! Honestly Mulder, have you ever 
thought to ask me to look at the case file and ask me 
what I think? Is it so hard for you Mulder?" she said, 
her voice shaking in cadence. She was really pissed 
now. Scully never swore that much normally unless 
someone was really messing with her. 
He opened his mouth to defend himself but he decided 
against it. He didn't want to receive a fist in the 
jaw from his little five feet nothing partner. They 
walked over to the reception desk and got their keys 
to the rooms. 
Scully shuffled past him to get to her room. She 
unlocked the door quickly and threw her bags and her 
gun holster into the room and locked the door again. 
She did all of that before Mulder could even get a 
handle on his keys. She brushed past him, making her 
way down the hall.
"Hey, where are you going?" Mulder called after her. 
"It's late."
"I need to get away Mulder before I do something I 
will regret," she said simply. "I think it would be 
good for both of us to cool off." 
"Whatever you say, Scully!" he hollered after her 
disappearing figure. He rolled his eyes. 
Alley Way behind Ricky's Grill
11: 00 PM
She had been walking for more than half an hour. She 
didn't even notice how far from the hotel she was. She 
couldn't believe how short she had been with Mulder, 
her partner and good friend. 
"Good going Dana...he was just trying to do his job," 
she murmured to herself as she leaned up against the 
wall in the alley. "All I want is to be equal...why is 
that so difficult?" Scully put her head in her hands 
and inhaled softly. 
Breathe, Dana. Breathe. 
"Hey, missy...are you okay?" a man had approached her 
without her knowing it. He spoke to her with a slight 
Hispanic accent. 
She took her head out of her hands and looked up into 
the deep black eyes of the stranger. 
"Uh...yes, I'm fine." She straightened up, trying to 
appear taller than she was.
The man approached her more so and leaned up against 
the wall where she stood. 
"You sure? You looked a little...sad."
"I said I was fine...now if you could just...be on 
your way. I will be fine." His actions were really 
beginning to scare her now. He was invading her 
personal space; something that no one could really 
do...except for Mulder...under extreme circumstances. 
"I'm sure I could make it all better..." the man said, 
puckering his lips like they had a mind of their own. 
He was rubbing up against her like a cat, which had 
her skirt going north. His hands slid between her legs 
and she yelped, pulling away from him. She turned away 
to run from him, but he grabbed her, not allowing her 
to move.
He covered her mouth quickly and shushed her like a 
lover would. He roughly tugged her panties down her 
legs and ripped into her before she knew what was 
going on. The pain began to get unbearable. She 
couldn't just stand there, letting her get herself 
fucked over.
Scully's hands flew to her back and her shoulders 
where her gun usually was. It wasn't there. 
SHIT. 
She had thrown it in the room before she went out. He 
was getting more aggressive. The more she struggled, 
the more he hurt her. The more he slapped, punched and 
bit her. 
"Stop...please...stop..." she cried to him. He kept at 
it even though she was nearly gouging his eyes out and 
she went to her last resort and admitted something 
that not even her closest friends knew. 
"No...no....I'm...I'm a virgin..." 
"Not anymore."
Tears began to burn in her eyes as she stood there, 
allowing him to control her. She slowly lost all of 
her strength, becoming powerless to stop him. Her 
helplessness angered her...she could do nothing...this 
was something that was uncharacteristic of her. With 
every ounce of strength that remained in her, she 
reached up, pushed against his chest, trying to rip 
him away from her. 
"Fuck you." She said aloud, in the middle of a tearful 
gasp...it came out much louder than she thought she 
was capable of at this point.
"Don't fight me girly," his clenched teeth showing the 
emergence of his anger, his inability to get off from 
this attempt. He took hold of her raised wrists and 
shoved her against the brick wall, his penis painfully 
pushing his way into her sore opening. Her dryness 
made the experience so much more disquieting than any 
thing she had ever felt.
"Come on, you bitch, get wet for me. This doesn't end 
until I finish." He snarled as his grasp tightened 
around her pulsing wrist veins, slowly diminishing her 
to a reclining position on the rough concrete. He kept 
driving into her, and all she could do was cry. 
Helpless tears and gasps, answered with shoves into 
her, and a hand over her mouth. 
"Shut up, shut up," he whispered to her, his anger 
elevating with every moment that passed.
Frustration mounting, she brought herself to look into 
his eyes, study his face, the scar across his neck, 
the darkness of his eyes, the curl of his lips, 
imprinting them into her mind for later 
identification. She could scarcely take it as he kept 
pumping, swearing and calling her names, holding her 
at his mercy, surmounting her pain. She finally looked 
away. Scully prayed her silent prayer. This couldn't 
continue...this couldn't be happening. Yet no one 
seemed to be around. No one could hear or see a thing. 
She was a victim left to his abuse. Until he decided 
that he would let her go.
Super 8 Motel
Room 103
Half an hour earlier - 10:31 PM
Agent Mulder cursed himself as he threw his own things 
into disarray in his own room. The suitcase unhinged, 
spilling its contents to the floor. Choosing to ignore 
it, he walked past it and plunked down on his bed, 
looking for the TV remote control. Turning on the 
local cable, and finding nothing of interest after 
minutes of flipping, he turned it off in frustration. 
*Why am I such a prick sometimes?*
The thought bothered him...that they would have a 
fight over something of no significance. Though maybe 
to Scully, it was significant. And he could have 
avoided it completely if he had only accounted for 
what she was thinking and feeling.
Sitting in silence for a few moments, though it seemed 
to him an eternity, he couldn't withstand thinking of 
her alone in a strange place any longer. 
It wasn't like they were together or anything, but he 
knew he couldn't just let her go off that angry. He 
cared too much about her.
Mulder picked himself off the economy sheets; his 
decision made to go after her. 
He slammed the door behind him, leaving the mess 
behind.
He had no idea which way she had gone. They were in a 
fairly quiet part of town, so he figured she had gone 
to a place where there were people. He hailed a cab 
and asked the driver to take him downtown. After a 
ten-minute drive, he paid the driver near a pizza 
place, and stood still for a moment, looking in all 
directions...still lost as to where to find his red-
headed partner.
"Where would you be Scully?" He spoke quietly, yet 
aloud, as he looked into the windows of the variety 
store, the pizza place, the dark windows of the shops 
on the downtown strip. He rationed with himself where 
she would be. Probably not a dance club. As angry as 
she may have been, he knew Scully well enough that the 
only time he would find her in a techno bar would be 
on a stakeout.
He approached a couple waiting for a cab on a street 
corner.
"Excuse me...?" They looked at him with a friendly 
smile. "I apologize, but I'm not really from around 
here. Would you be able to tell me where there's a bar 
nearby? Just a quiet one where I could get a beer at 
this hour?"
"The only place around here," the woman answered as 
she put her arms around her partner, "...like that is 
Ricky's."
"How far from here is that?"
"It's about a ten minute walk. You just head up this 
street until you reach the corner of Elmwood, and turn 
left. It's kind of in it's own little corner and 
parking lot. We would offer to give you a ride, but 
we're waiting here for one ourselves." She smiled at 
him.
"Thanks very much. I appreciate the help." He nodded 
to them as he headed in the direction they had aimed 
him towards.
Mulder walked, alone again with his thoughts, thinking 
that logically this is where she would be. It hadn't 
been that long since she had angrily taken off, 
hopefully he could catch her and set things straight. 
Maybe over a beer, which would be nice.
He walked the ten minutes, and approached the dive, 
which screamed 'Ricky's' in bright neon letters. From 
the outside, you never would have known how busy the 
inside was. The music was loud, and nearly all the 
tables were full. A few empty seats remained at the 
bar. He approached the counter, scanning the room for 
the unmistakable FBI agent. 
When he didn't spot her, he motioned for the 
bartender.
"Can I get you something?" The tall man reached for a 
glass above the bar. 
"Actually, not at the moment. I was actually looking 
for a person. A woman, about five feet, maybe a little 
more, auburn hair, blue eyes, in her thirties... 
pretty woman. You wouldn't have happened to have see 
her...or served her recently, would you?"
"Sorry buddy, I see a lot of people here every day." 
He shrugged.
Mulder sighed to himself, and reached into his pocket, 
flashing the man his identification. "Are you sure you 
haven't seen anyone matching the description?"
The bartender paused for a moment, his look changing 
to one of compassion. 
"Sorry, sir, I really haven't seen anyone like that 
tonight. I'll keep my eyes open if she happens to come 
in."
He nodded, and looked once more around the crowded, 
dimly lit place. "Thanks."
Looking for another entrance, he spotted one at the 
other side of restaurant. 
Maybe she had gone back already.
He pushed open the heavy, underused door into the 
outside. A dark alleyway encroached upon him as the 
door swung and clicked closed behind him. He started 
walking towards the direction of streetlights when he 
heard a sound.
He stopped walking for a moment and listened. Quiet 
gasps were garbled, but audible. He listened a little 
longer, hearing the voice of a man in the distance, he 
heard the tears of a woman. Turning around and 
reaching for his weapon, he walked silently in the 
opposite direction. The noises getting louder.
"Please...just go away..." the voice pleaded, anguish 
enveloping the words. 
Undeniably, Mulder knew the voice. 
Scully. Trouble. Scully's in trouble.
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER!" He yelled in a 
threatening manner, and broke into a run towards 
movement, the sounds. As he approached, he saw the 
dark silhouette of two people on the ground. One of 
them sprang immediately to their feet and began to run 
away from Mulder. 
"STOP THERE, YOU SONOFABITCH! I'VE GOT A GUN!" The 
figure kept going, as 
Mulder reached his fallen, broken partner. The shadow 
man didn't slow, and as 
Mulder leaned to go to Scully, he fired towards the 
man, hitting him in the back of the leg. He wouldn't 
kill him. Not yet. He would make him suffer first. The 
man slowed, but didn't stop. Mulder dropped to the 
ground, leaving the man to escape...it was Scully that 
needed him now.
Throwing his gun to the ground, he put his hands to 
her face, moving her hair from her features. She 
didn't say a word. She didn't move. Scully lay there, 
limp as a rag doll, tears spilled down her cheeks. He 
saw her distressed expression though the darkness made 
it difficult. He looked down, and saw her pushed up 
skirt, her ripped shirt, her panties half way down her 
legs.
"My god, Scully. I'm going to take you to a hospital."
Unresponsive, he picked her up in his arms, bringing 
her to her stand on her feet. Waiting for a moment, 
for her to gain some sort of bearings, he held her up, 
keeping her from a state of collapse. After a minute 
or two, him just waiting...she reached down and 
shakily pulled up her panties. Mulder began to guide 
her to walk. He straightened her top, which had become 
twisted, and walked slowly with her, holding her up so 
she could keep on. One hand around her shoulders, the 
other free in front of her to grab onto, if Scully 
needed it, was offered. He took her to the road, and 
waited for a taxi to pick them up.
She didn't look at him. Her eyes fixated on the 
ground, he didn't try and ask her anything. He would 
wait for her.
After a couple of minutes, a voiceless sob emanated 
from her throat. 
"Mulder...why...?"
He shook his head, at a loss for any explanation. Any 
words at all. His guilt overwhelmed him...he had 
allowed this to happen. He allowed her to get hurt. He 
didn't protect her. He permitted the most horrible of 
human acts to be committed upon the one he cared about 
most.
A cab pulled up seconds later, he opened up the door 
and guided her to sit, 
Scully's eyes still focused at her feet. He got in the 
other side. 
"Could you take us to the nearest hospital, please? As 
fast as you can."
St. James Memorial Hospital
11: 27 PM
The doctors had already hustled her into the rape 
emergency unit of the hospital before Mulder could 
even get a word in edgewise. As the doctors tore 
Scully from his side they asked him these questions 
diplomatically.
"Who are you? What's your relation to Miss Scully?" 
He stuttered before he could get a full statement out.
"I...I work with her. She's my partner at the Federal 
Bureau of
Investigation." A sandy-haired doctor gave him a once 
over and as he gave Scully over to one of the nurses 
he delivered the news to him harshly.
"Nope, that's not good enough. You're not family, 
you'll have to wait out here." Mulder opened his mouth 
but shut it quickly. He didn't want to delay anything 
that had to be done on Scully. He bit his lip almost 
to the point that blood was starting to seep out as he 
stumbled back onto a cheap hospital chair.
How could this happen? He asked himself. She's gone 
for an hour, not even an hour, and then all of a 
sudden...this. He leaned forward and held his head in 
his hands and tried to calm himself. You got there in 
time...she's alive. He scoffed aloud. Yeah, but she 
had something taken from her, you little shit. You got 
there, just not fast enough. Not good enough.
St. James Memorial Hospital
Waiting Room
12:48 AM
It had been about an hour since they came in and 
Mulder wanted to talk to Scully. He needed to talk to 
her. He needed to see her...how she was doing with his 
own two eyes. He got up again and went to the desk 
where the admitting nurse stood speaking on the phone 
to some unknown person.
"Nurse? May I please see Dana Scully? She was admitted 
here awhile ago as you probably saw...but I need to 
see her..." She held out a finger and waved it in his 
face. He had the urge to take that little finger and 
snap it like a piece of celery.
"DAMMIT!" he roared, his anger and guilt getting the 
best of him. "I want to see Scully right now!"
He was raving like an insane man. He threw the 
magazine down that was in his hand with force...he 
damn near broke a table. 
"Where is she?!" he hollered until the same sandy-
haired doctor who told him that he 'wasn't good 
enough' came bustling into the waiting room.
"Calm yourself Mr. Mulder or we will have to ask you 
to leave!" the doctor said slightly over Mulder's 
voice. "We have other patients! You cannot carry on 
like this! You will see Miss Scully momentarily if you 
just sit down and relax! She's in good hands, Mr. 
Mulder." 
Mulder whirled around to face the man after nearly 
punching the wall. He gave the doctor the look of 
death. Biting his lip again, holding in his 
frustration, he smoothed his hair back and sat back 
down. He closed his eyes.
Scully would want him to be relaxed...he needed to 
just...be still.
1:37 AM
"Mr. Mulder, are you okay now? Do you think you can 
handle seeing Miss Scully?" His eyes opened slowly, 
trying to keep his cool G-Man composure, which he was 
sure was already lost. He nodded pointedly and got up 
stiffly. "She's in room 508...right down the hall past 
the corner."
As Mulder walked down the hall, he was still furious 
and scared by what had happened. How the doctors 
treated him as if he was just some random bum off of 
the street. He was angry with himself. 
He should have talked things over with her like an 
adult and not act like some pussy and yelling at her 
causing this to all happen. He was still fuming as he 
turned the corner into room 508.
What he saw in the room broke his heart. He couldn't 
be angry any longer. He was crushed. Mulder felt the 
tears come to his eyes as he saw his little, fragile, 
almost porcelain like partner lying in the hospital 
bed with the covers up to her neck. As his hazel eyes 
fell upon a cut lip and a bruise on her check bone, he 
felt a solitary tear slip down his check. 
He quickly flicked it away with a finger, deciding 
that it wasn't his place to cry. 
It was Scully's. 
She lay there sleeping with tear stained cheeks 
shining in the fluorescent light with a fitful look 
upon her face. Drug induced sleep or not, Mulder 
refused to let himself wake her. Instead he sat in the 
chair about a foot away from her bed and held his 
personal vigil.
The Next Day
9:18 PM
After waiting an entire day at the hospital for the 
tests, a nurse came in and made the inevitable 
announcement.
"The results on everything came back negative, Miss 
Scully." She nodded slightly, barely moving her head.
"You're free to leave if you wish," the nurse said as 
she puttered out of the room. "The police will be in 
contact soon."
Mulder was still leaning up against the wall with his 
hands jammed in his pockets as Scully's eyes moved 
over him fearfully. 
*What does he think of me now? Does he think that I'm 
just a little girl now? A little flower?*
"Scully?" Mulder inquired. "Do you want to leave now?" 
She gave another small, quick nod and straightened out 
her back. "I'll let you get...ready then," he murmured 
as he gestured to the bathroom.
Mulder left with a huff and said he would be outside 
if she needed anything. 
*He feels weird around me*, Scully thought to herself 
as she walked towards the bathroom. She opened the 
bathroom door, shut it and locked it. She began to 
strip down very slowly looking herself over and 
surveying her body. Tears leapt into her eyes. She had 
lost her innocence; gave up her skin and she didn't 
even put up a fight. 
*Some strong woman.*
She stepped into the pathetic excuse that the nurses 
call a shower and knelt down into a little ball 
thinking to herself...how violated she felt. 
She looked for the washcloth that they had put in 
there and as soon as she found it, she started to 
scrub her stomach. She scrubbed so hard that blood 
started to pucker out. She gnashed her teeth and 
started to scrub her arms and shoulders. She had to 
get the feeling off of her; it was everywhere. She 
cried softly to herself and scrubbed harder and harder 
with each stroke of her hand. 
"Get off of me! GET OFF!"
Within seconds she could hear Mulder trying to break 
the bathroom door down.
"Scully!" he shouted over the shower. "Scully! Answer 
me!"
She immediately shut off the water and stepped out of 
the shower.
"Scully!" Mulder was still calling out for her 
response as she toweled herself and blotted the blood 
off of her back. He was still banging on the door as 
she opened it abruptly starring at him blankly.
"Oh sorry Scully...I thought something was wrong...I 
heard you." She looked down shamefully. 
Why don't you strike me dead right now at this moment? 
She asked God. 
Highway 44
10:12 PM
Mulder was driving in a daze...he was still shocked at 
how Scully had reacted to a mere touch back at the 
hospital
I'm not a goddamn rapist he said to himself. 
It hit him as he was turning off on their exit. He was 
a man and that's all that made sense it Scully's 
brain. A man had hurt her and he was a man. They must 
be all the same to her at this moment. He gave her a 
sidelong glance and wanted to dearly take her and hold 
her close right there in the intersection. He needed 
so badly to make things better for her. He wanted the 
old Scully back. Mulder wished he could have protected 
her. To have saved her from what she was feeling now.
He turned his head back abruptly knowing that if he 
did such a thing, she would most likely scream bloody 
murder. They pulled into the Super 8 Motel parking 
lot. Before Mulder could even take the keys out of the 
ignition, Scully had already opened the door. She had 
already proceeded to her own room by the time Mulder 
had gotten out of the car. Scully didn't say a thing 
to him as he walked after her to her room. She just 
found her key card, slid it through the scan, and went 
inside giving him a slight bow of the head to 
acknowledge him as she clicked the door coolly in his 
face. He winced and looked down. 
He knew what she needed and so did she. Scully just 
wouldn't accept it.
Mulder's Room
11:21 PM
"We want-A SHRUBBERY!" 
Sure, Mulder loved Monty Python just like any other 
man on earth but nothing could get the thoughts of 
what happened to Scully out of his head. 
Why would any one want to hurt her? Why would her God 
let this happen to her? He rolled of the low society 
mattress to turn off the TV since he couldn't locate 
the remote, when he heard something. He actually 
didn't hear a thing...and that frightened him. Was she 
okay? 
They did have adjoining rooms, it wouldn't be such a 
bad idea to just peek in and see what she was doing. 
*That wouldn't be respecting Scully's privacy, 
dickhead* he chastised himself. 
*Fuck it*, he said to himself. This was for her own 
good...as well as his own, he thought to himself as he 
cracked the door a little to just take a look inside.
Mulder saw her in the dim light, sitting at the base 
of her bed gripping the sheets to the point where he 
knuckles were white. Her mouth was slightly parted as 
tears slipped slowly down her cheeks. If he didn't 
know any better he would think she was in a catatonic 
phase, but seeing that she started to shiver a little 
as she noticed him, it gave way. She looked down 
shamefully at her feet and tried to keep her upper lip 
stiff as he looked at her with a caring eye. 
He approached her slowly and whispered softly.
"Scully?"
No answer, just a quick quake and another tear. He 
stepped to her, only wanting to comfort her, as any 
friend would do. Mulder knelt in front of the bed 
gently resting a hand over hers, which were on her 
lap. She jerked away from him, just like she had done 
earlier at the hospital.
He didn't try her again.
"Scully, I know that it might not matter to you right 
now, but, I'm here. I'm right next door. You're my 
friend and I'm here for you if you need to talk or 
even..." he shuddered,"...cry." His voice cracking 
slightly as Mulder felt himself getting a little 
tearful. 
Tearful for the woman who sat in front of him who 
wasn't able to let loose and get it out. 
"Scully...Dana...I've always been right here. Always. 
I...love you and I won't hurt you. In fact, I would 
rather die a thousand deaths than to have you hurt... 
if I were able to do something about it." 
*I should have done something about it.* 
Mulder clenched his fists, wishing her hands were 
still there in his. 
"I'm right here," he said reverently. He got up and 
went for the door that adjoined their rooms and turned 
back for a moment to Scully. He sighed and closed the 
door behind him.
2 Weeks Later
Washington, DC
It had been a week since Mulder and Scully had left 
Dallas and two weeks since Scully's rape. They 
eventually caught that man who did it and he was 
serving time at the State Penitentiary at Texas for 
rape, resisting arrest, and assault on a federal 
officer. 
When Scully had been notified of this, she started to 
feel a little less depressed. She still wasn't her 
normal self. She wasn't going at it with Mulder about 
his weird theories, or give him raised eyebrows...or 
giving people the steely-eyed Scully-look yet. 
Scully and Mulder did now engage in conversations that 
were more than one word or one sided but it wasn't the 
same. Scully just didn't have that fire in her 
eye...in her soul...anymore.
Mulder still wasn't able to get within a three-foot 
radius of her without her getting antsy. That bastard 
of a man took the life out of her when he subdued her 
that late night two weeks before. Scully refused to go 
see a counselor or anyone like that. She never said 
why but Mulder knew she had her reasons. 
She was "fine."
It was past seven at night on a Friday and, for once, 
Mulder wanted to get home. 
"Hey, Scully, I'm going to be heading out now...I'll 
see you Monday?"
"Of course Mulder. Monday," she said as she shuffled 
some papers around before sliding them into her 
briefcase. "I think I'll be going right now too...will 
you...wait for me?" she asked almost hesitantly, 
thinking that he might say no.
"Sure I will Scully," Mulder said quickly and 
affirmatively. She got her purse from under the desk 
and her briefcase from the desk and nodded. She walked 
out with her heels tapping on the cold basement floor 
as Mulder followed like the faithful partner he 
was...shutting and locking their office door behind 
him.
Mulder's Apartment
1 AM
Mulder had been channel surfing for the past half-hour 
or so...there was nothing on but repeats of The Iron 
Chef. Mulder sat there numbly watching the judges with 
very ill timed voice dubbings, saying how fantastic 
they found the food they were eating. 
*What a sad pathetic life you lead Spooky old boy*, he 
said to himself. 
Just as the judges were about to name the new Iron 
Chef, there was an incredibly soft tapping at his 
door. 
He turned off the TV to make sure someone was really 
knocking. When his thoughts had been confirmed, he got 
up and looked through the little peephole. It was a 
little flash of red hair and that could only mean one 
person: Dana Scully. 
He opened the door quickly to see a tear-stained 
Scully. Before he could even open his mouth she said 
"Hi," tearfully.
"Scully, what's up?" he said with his voice full of 
concern as he moved away from the door to let her in. 
She was trembling from head to toe and she looked like 
such a lost little girl minus the teddy bear. 
"Mulder, I had a dream and...it sounds stupid 
Mulder...but...I got scared," she said choking up a 
little.
	
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know if I'll make any sense...but I will 
try." 
This must be big. She actually was going to open up to 
him. He led her over to the couch and motioned with 
his hands that she should sit down.
"Oh Mulder...I'm sorry that I've been so...cold to you 
lately. I've just had so many things running though my 
mind and I can't handle it all. I don't know who I am 
since that night at Ricky's. I feel so trashy, like 
some whore...God Mulder...I feel terrible." Her body 
was still shaking violently. It almost seemed like she 
was begging to be held in his strong arms. He looked 
taken aback by what she had said about herself.
"Please, Scully...you're not a whore, you know it...it 
wasn't your fault that all that happened to you. It 
wasn't in your hands. And as for acting cold to me, 
it's just because you're still in a great deal of 
pain," Mulder tried quickly. "We all need time to 
ourselves Scully."
"Mulder, you're my closest friend...a person I can 
rely on to do things that no one else would do. You 
care for me when no one else will. We need each other, 
and I shut you out because of some stupid concept of 
pride. Mulder...I'm so sorry," Mulder couldn't believe 
what he was hearing. Scully was apologizing to him.
"Scully," Mulder began. "Dana," he said softly as he 
shifted closer to her. "You have nothing to apologize 
for. I should be the one saying that...sorry for 
rushing you back in Dallas when I knew that you 
weren't ready...it's just that sometimes...I love 
you...so much...that...I can't make sense of things 
when they come to you. Like all my priorities change, 
all my morals change when they come to you. I'm just 
almost blinded...by love it seems." He paused for a 
moment, not believing this entire speech coming from 
his mouth. "Scully...I should be apologizing for not 
protecting you. For making you so angry...so much 
anger that it made you storm out on me. I am so 
sorry." He waited again, not looking at her yet, not 
wanting to cry. "God, Scully, I adore you so much...it 
hurts sometimes."
"Mulder," she said with a sad wet smile, "It wasn't 
your fault. And you know it. And I don't want you to 
blame yourself for it."
She waited. She needed to make a request of 
him...something he wouldn't believe, but she felt so 
strongly, she badly needed to express it. Hoping for 
his acceptance.
"I can't believe that I'm going to say this..." she 
played with the corner of the couch cushion, not 
looking at him either. She breathed in deeply. "..'I 
love you'...isn't enough sometimes. They are such 
powerful words...with so much meaning...but..." She 
brought her eyes to him now. "I just need to 
know...that you do love...me. I can't go on like this 
Mulder. We can't mess around and play with each other 
any more. I need you, I love you...I want you to feel 
the same for me as I do for you...and I mean that in 
more ways than just a comrade or friend. But 
as...as...a lover." 
Mulder's jaw almost hit the floor. He was speechless, 
looking for the right words that were avoiding him. A 
lover? He wouldn't have any problem being Scully's 
lover...no question about that...but was she ready?
"My world may fall, but I will never let you go 
Scully. Not ever. But I don't want to...do 
anything...out of place...or out of step of how you 
want it. It's all for you Scully. This isn't about 
me," he said taking a well-manicured hand without her 
flinching. Scully smiled tearful happy smile.
"My God Mulder...this is why I love you. You'll always 
be my strength...my shield," Scully said softly as he 
kissed her hand as a knight would kiss his queen's. He 
drew closer to Scully with whom he had a new 
connection with and held her close. Now he just had to 
wait for the time when her heart would yield to his 
own.
Silence enveloped them for fleeting moments, before 
Scully continued to express what she needed to.
"Mulder...I had something taken from me that night. 
Something I will never ever get back. Something that 
only a very special person should have." She spoke 
into his chest. She needed him to understand what she 
was saying...without him doubting her. "I always hoped 
the right person would come along, so I could give it 
to him. Mulder, as much as we were 'only partners'...I 
knew a long time ago, that I wanted you to have it."
His heart stopped in his chest.
"Scully..."
"No, Mulder...you think I am not thinking properly, 
that it's too soon...but I know what I want, what I 
need," She looked at him, deep into his soul, "...and 
what I need is you."
"Scully...you need to be loved in a way that's so 
special, because *you* are so special. And I would 
want nothing more than to be one with you."
He pushed the hair from her face, much like the night 
when he found her weak...her ice blue eyes penetrating 
his exterior. Absolute certainty begged in her 
expression. He gently touched her chin, tilting her 
head up. He kissed her smoothly, gently, his lips 
embracing hers as they softly breathed to the other.
"Scully...I want to love you as you should have been 
loved...for your first time."
The soft smile disappeared from her ruby lips, and 
again she looked into his eyes.
"Then love me, Mulder."
Her quiet voice confirmed what she truly felt...truly 
needed...it whispered magic to his soul...to hers.
Saying nothing else, he stood, and took her hand, 
guiding her with his powerful presence, his arm around 
her hips...again, mimicking that night...except now, 
Scully's legs were strong...as well as her spirit.
He lay her down on his bed, reclining her into the 
pillows, then bending over her, taking her mouth again 
with his. She allowed her tongue to dance as he guided 
their first intimate moments, softly lulling her into 
absolute comfort. The soft moonlight sparkled through 
the window, as Scully attempted to block that horrible 
night from her consciousness. Allowing Mulder to pull 
the pain from that night away with his kisses, she 
welcomed more of him into her mouth, feeling his 
warmth.
All he did was kiss her sensuously for what seemed 
like blissful hours. Pulling her into a level of 
serenity she had never experienced...at any time 
before in her life.
She reached for him, pulling ever so gently at his 
shirt, before he finally broke the silence.
"No Scully. Tonight, now...this...is about you. 
Tonight...I'm going to treat you as a queen. You're my 
queen."
She smiled a sincere smile for the first time in 
weeks, loving this man for everything he was to her.
Mulder slowly, unassertively, moved his tongue and 
lips away from her own, moving down her jawbone, to 
her neck, leaving a trail burning on her skin as he 
did so.
The soft wind jingled some chimes, audible even from 
the far distance, Scully felt the wind blowing across 
her from the open window, Mulder taking responsibility 
for everything that she was feeling.
Removing his mouth from her, he stood up, leaving her 
in a state of relaxation. He reached forward, and 
undid one button at the top of her white cotton shirt. 
He paused before he did the next, making sure that if 
this wasn't what she wanted, she could stop him. 
Looking to her face, he saw her teeth lightly biting 
her lower lip, awaiting his next action...he 
proceeded.
Each button revealing a little more soft skin, he soon 
reached the final clasp, and pulled the shirt away 
from her shoulders. He looked at her bare stomach, 
witnessing the tiny scabs from where she had roughly 
cleansed herself. Mulder rested his eyes upon her 
brassiere-covered breasts...a barely there bruise 
remained as a reminder...peaking out from underneath 
the silk pink garment. It still remained from that 
unspeakable night moons ago.
"Scully..." A sympathetic whisper voiced from his 
throat, pain re-entering his soul...a pain and guilt 
which would never leave him. Tears choked his speech 
as he felt flooded with emotion. He could no longer 
speak.
Scully didn't say anything, realizing what he had 
seen. Her evidence of weakness embarrassed her, 
however, she didn't say a word. He began to redirect 
his kisses on her scars, trying to kiss them away. 
Make them disappear. His wet tongue soothed the 
painful marks as she lay back, watching him pleasure 
her with his tongue.
She continued to observe him as he backed away, 
pulling his navy tee shirt over his head, letting it 
fall to the floor. His jeans followed shortly 
thereafter, his boxers tightly tented against his 
throbbing member. Scully reached for him, to take him 
into her hand, but again, he stopped her.
"Scully...this is for you, and only you. Let me 
pleasure you." He looked once more at her, admiring 
her amount of sheer strength...as much as she thought 
that it was non-existent. 
"It's all about you...now...sssssshhhh..."
Mulder moved back up to her still covered chest, and 
dragged his tongue lightly over the top of her 
breasts, over the tender skin of the purplish bruise. 
He licked along the back of her bra, planted tiny 
kisses along the soft line, before he achingly 
unhooked it and slid it amorously off. Mulder took in 
her stunning body, though scarred...but healing. 
He would be her healer.
He licked alongside her panties, waiting for a 
reaction from her body. He received none...realizing 
that this may take a while for her. Perhaps she was 
scared...hesitant because of possible remissions to 
that moment when her innocence was stolen from her. 
He continued across her back, the dull scar from her 
previous tattoo evident, from yet another man that he 
failed to protect her from. Around her abdomen, the 
pecks persisted, the hot trail becoming longer. 
Drawing her out, building her to the moment. Ensuring 
her solace with absolution. 
Down her panties, along each thigh he kept 
on...licking just to the side of her panties in the 
front. He then took the next brave step...he pulled at 
her garment, ever so lightly, not to bring back any 
recollections. When she gave no sign of displeasure, 
he drew them slowly down her body, feeling the smooth 
skin of her legs. 
The matching panties joined his discarded clothing on 
the floor. He reached up so his fingertips, his 
fingernails dragged slightly across her bare nipples. 
He touched them just enough to arouse the 
sensation...they slowly stood erect. 
He newly surveyed the expression on her beautiful 
face. He had told her, and wanted to ensure that, she 
would not be hurt. Her eyes began to slightly close 
with reluctant fruition. He slipped his tongue between 
her legs...covering her just the slightest touch. He 
dragged his tongue back and forth, as he cradled her 
hips with his strong, shielding arms. Patiently, he 
stroked lightly with his tongue until he thought she 
was ready. With a pointed tongue, he made tiny figure 
eight's over her clitoris. He continued to bring 
himself back to her pleasure point, nipping at her, 
circling and flicking at her sensitive spot at her 
apex. Unrelenting, she began to give in, her hips 
slightly bucked upwards.
"That's it Scully." His voice was quiet, he murmured 
to her between kisses, "Let yourself go."
He continued to search her with his tongue, wanting to 
ensure her ecstasy, rotating his tongue around her 
clit, picking it up lightly with his teeth, then 
pushing it down with his tastebuds.
Scully broke her own reticence with a soft moan of 
delight, writhing constantly with his touch. 
"Come on Scully," he pushed his mouth farther into 
her, before withdrawing to speak. "Come for me."
The kisses made her craving for him soar, as he began 
to bring her to a fevered pitch. Waves of pleasure 
began at her core, as she began to orgasm. Her pelvis 
inching upwards to make more contact with his mouth as 
she had began, and screamed to a finish.
"That's it, Scully." He pressed his flattened tongue 
against her, savoring her erect clitoris, trying to 
ensure her pleasure plateaued. One last movement 
against her bud dragged her over the edge, her 
pleasure voiced with an audible moan of pleasure.
"Oh...Mulder...yes..."
He didn't remove himself from her until her quivers 
ended, drawing out the moment, keeping her immersed in 
rapture.
After a few moments, her eyes closed in complete 
pleasure, Mulder removed his final garment, and lay 
beside his partner against the pillows.
He stroked her face, watching her, gladdened by her 
content. Her eyes opened to rest on his expression, 
and she smiled a soft smile at him. He moved closer to 
her, as they both lay on their sides. She lifted her 
leg to wrap it around his, their arms embraced each 
other. They lay there, waiting for some unknown sign.
He kissed her on the cheek, and whispered softly into 
her ear.
"Are you ready?"
Without hesitation, she returned the kiss to his lips, 
and pulled away her mouth, yet pushing her hips to him 
simultaneously.
"I'm ready Mulder."
Not to question her integrity, he said no more, and he 
looked down to their lower bodies, his erection grew 
with each passing minute, he was ready for her. Mulder 
positioned himself at her opening, and kissed her 
before making any more motions. He kissed her over and 
over again, and while in the middle of tasting herself 
on his tongue, she felt him nudge into her. Slowly, 
just a little more with each kiss, she welcomed him 
inside.
He rolled her gently over so Scully was on her back, 
his arms beside her head, supporting his weight on his 
elbows. He waited, fully immersed in her, stretching 
her to accommodate his presence. They pulled their 
lips away, and just looked into the eyes of the other, 
not moving, in absolute placidity. 
He dipped down to lay his hot breath on her once 
again, as he began to pull out from her. He continued 
the slow thrusts, slowly at first, while they devoured 
each other lovingly with their mouths.
Scully began to get rhythm, and as he would pull out, 
she lifted her pelvis off the mattress, yearning for 
the contact. He pulled away, and pushed back 
in...again, again, again. Again. 
She was wet from her previous pinnacle, which aided in 
their languid motions. The pain from her previous 
experience forgotten, his velvet penis pleasured her 
hot walls as they connected together in a way never 
before reached. He looked into her eyes, and watched 
as a solitary tear escaped from its duct.
She knew he had seen, and relieved his fear.
"It's okay..." Scully's tear was not from sadness. But 
from a level of blissfulness...that this is what was 
right. That this is how it should have been from the 
start.
Their mutual drives to meet the other began to pull 
Mulder away from consciousness. He would wait for her 
though, her climax much more important than his own, 
he continued drawing in and away from her.
She began to feel the waves once again, the white hot 
fireworks began behind her eyes, and she hungrily 
writhed with him, the intensity rocketing through her 
body, beginning to overpower any comprehensible 
thought.
She clenched around him, pushing him to the brink of 
orgasm, as they reached their ascendancy together. He 
buried farther inside her, calling her name as she did 
his...he exploded deep within her. Planting his hot 
seed into her previously broken body. She held him 
close, and dug her fingernails into his back, pulling 
him farther in than either of them thought possible.
Finally, they released each other from their desperate 
arms. 
Mulder rolled off from on top of her, she collapsed at 
his side.
Both of them quiet...they just listened to the breath 
of the other, and the soft clinking of those chimes in 
the distance.
Silent promises made between them as they lay there 
together, contentedness blanketing them. 
Scully felt safe as she drifted off to sleep in the 
grasp of Mulder's strong arms.
He watched her sleep, her chest rising and falling, 
and he made his promise to her, as she slept.
"I will never let you go Dana. I will not allow any 
one to hurt you ever again." He kissed her bare 
shoulder. "I love you."
As they both fell into the deepest of dream sleeps, 
becoming aware of what had transpired between them, 
there was no need to discuss it. They both knew of the 
unspoken promises. It was all right to remain 
speechless.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
AUTHOR'S NOTES!!! YAY!!!
<TuChicken's Notes:> Jenn...what can I say? Thanks for 
everything and always believing in me and my fic! 
*huggles* We HAVE to do this again sometime...
<MuldersMamma's Notes:> OMG Nic, I can't believe we 
actually did this!! :D Thanks for asking, I was so 
honoured for the request. Thanks for all of your kind 
words about my writing...it's what keeps me going.
TO THE READER: Thanks for reading with us to the end! 
It was the first collaboration for the both of us, so 
I hope it went okay! Please send any reviews to 
muldersmamma@hotmail.com or kisskill@myself.com. 
Peace.