From: RhiaRamsay@aol.com Date: Fri, 17 Nov 2000 20:34:55 EST Subject: New: Sphere Of Light (1 of 1) Source: direct Title: Sphere of Light Author: Elizabeth L. Iacono Rating: PG Category: Vignette, Romance, Angst Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Spoilers: None (It's pre-Requiem) Summary: Why do our dreams tempt us with the things we can't have? Okay, I know I said that this takes place pre-Requiem, but I urge you to keep in mind the events of Requiem while reading this. It'll give the piece a little more of a positive outlook, I promise. If you want something a little more dark and depressing though, don't think of Requiem. I leave it all up to you. :-) My immense thanks to Mel for the beta. :-) Feedback: Brings light to my world. E-Mail me at RhiaRamsay@aol.com Archiving: Gossamer, Xemplary, Legacy, automatically have it. I'll send it to the Spookys myself, as the new rules say to (that line is to remind myself to send it more than anything else ;-), and anyone else, please e-mail me for permission first. Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully are not mine, seeing as I am not CC. I'm just me, a poor ickull shipper angel masquerading as college student. Sphere of Light Elizabeth L. Iacono 'Men will fight bravely and be heroes, but for a last ditch defense against any odds, get a mother.' --The Defender, High Wizardry She's not sure if it is a dream or if it is reality. It is dark, wind howling all around her, tugging her hair in directions it didn't want to go in. The darkness blinds her, and she doesn't know which way she has to go in order to leave the darkness behind. When she thinks about it, she realizes that she doesn't even know what to call herself. To family and friends, she is Dana. To Mulder she is Scully. But neither one is there, it's only her. So what is she to herself? She must find that out. For now, she is content to be Scully. In the distance a light flashes. It shines brightly for a second, then winks out, leaving her in darkness. It flashes again, and darkens again. She is strangely compelled to follow it, so she urges her feet to move and they carry her towards it. Scully can hear her shoes clacking on something hard. In her ears it sounds almost like cobblestones, but she cannot be sure. The flashing light is closer now, and she hurries her steps. One hand stretches out in front of her, and it is this hand that impacts with the solid wall. It is through a hole in this wall that she sees the light flashing through. She moves her hand in front of it, and she can see it illuminating the fine lines gracing her hand. Scully bends down so that she can get a better look at the origin of the light. To her surprise, she discovers that it is coming from a keyhole. Her mind figures that if there is a keyhole, there must be a doorknob. Her hand moves to feel around above the keyhole, and sure enough, she finds what she is looking for. The edges of the doorknob are sharp against her palm. The feel reminds her of the cut glass doorknobs that were so prominent in her grandmother's house. She pushes her memories aside, and twists the doorknob. The door swings open... And she is blinded. Lights of all colors assault her eyes, the flashes rendering her temporarily sightless, and a hand goes up to shield them. Her eyes adapt to the many lights, and she sees that she is in a dance club of some sort. Many years have passed since the last time she was in a dance club, but she still remembers the feeling. The music is loud, and it pounds throughout her bones. She can feel it surrounding her and taking a hold in her. The technicolor lights strobe and flash, making the walls glow and illuminating the people that fill the place. Scully's eyes look over the crowd. Bodies are packed in there like sardines, and they gyrate with the beat of the music. They are man and woman, all dressed in identical black. Just like I am, Scully thinks as she looks down at the sleeveless shirt and pants she is wearing. The people are all young, and she feels like she is the oldest one in there. But the young people are not happy people. They all dance as if this is the last dance they will ever have before it is their time to die. It scares Scully, and she quickly decides to turn around, to go back into the blackness. She spins on her heel, expecting to find the sharp doorknob and seeing nothing. The wall is now solid, with the colored lights bouncing off of it. She takes in a deep breath and turns back to the crowd. Far, far away, on the other side of the crowd, another light catches her eye. It is not like the flashing ones of the dance club, but it is a soft, golden, steady one. The steadiness of it attracts her, and she knows that is her goal. Appearing braver than she feels, Scully begins to walk through the crowd. The people don't move out of the way for her, so she must weave, push, and force her way to the golden light. When she is standing in the center of the crowd, standing in a sudden spotlight of white-blue light is when it hits her. Mulder is gone. He disappeared, and that's why she is here, she knows. She has to find him, but she doesn't know where to start. She looks up at the white-blue light, and suddenly shivers at the coldness of it. Her skin breaks out in goose-flesh, and her eyes search out the golden light, wishing for some of the steadiness to seep into her soul. With a gasp she makes a run for it, not caring who or what is in her way. All she wants is to get to the golden light. There is something in that light that she has to find. She pushes away the people like cobwebs deterring her from her goal. She's vaguely aware of the arms that reach out for her, trying to drag her into the last dance crowd, but she doesn't want to go with them. She wants Mulder, and she knows that through this golden light is the answer. After a long time of running, another wall finally looms in front of her. Coming from a small square cutout in the wall is the golden light, pouring out in all directions. Scully feels calmer now, this light is a good sign she knows. Her fingertips reach out for the light and it feels warm. She moves her fingers so far into the light that she cannot see them anymore. She feels a sudden pull, and the light flashes all around her, blinding her once more. When her vision returns, she finds herself standing in the entrance to a church. She's never been in this church before, according to her memory, but it bears many similarities to the ones she's seen over the years. The stained glass windows are dark; it is nighttime outside. But the church itself is lit up in a golden glow, and she can see it clearly. Two sets of pews border a center aisle, and the floor is that marble-like tile that many churches sport. The altar was straight ahead of her, with an embroidered white cloth covering it. Behind that, the tabernacle, and all around were hundreds of thousands of candles, the source of the golden light. But her attention is not drawn to the candles anymore. She is now drawn to the small alcove to her right. It is completely dark, but there is a small flicker of light, as if someone left a solitary candle burning. Scully walks towards it, her heels sounding unnaturally loud in the empty church. She approaches the darkness with a little bit of apprehension, knowing that anything could be lurking in there. Scully can feel the exact moment she enters the alcove. The darkness in there is so prevalent that it seeps into her soul. But at the same time she feels that there is something good there also. Her hands stretch out in the darkness, and she hopes that they will alert her to the presence of anything. The small light is still there, coming closer with each step. Her fingers brush into something cold and hard, but solid. She traces the outline of it, and to her surprise her mind supplies her with the answer: it is a baptismal font. The light is coming from the bowl of the font, she now sees. But there is something blocking it. A sudden, sharp cry cuts through the air, and Scully gasps. Her hands move to the dark patch over the bowl, and they encounter soft flesh and soft blanket. 'It's a baby,' an incredulous voice says in her mind. She quickly finds the right places to hold it, some long forgotten mother's instinct coming back, and lifts it up, gathering it close to her chest. The light now fills the small alcove, and she can see. Scully looks down at the baby in her arms. It is still crying, but the tears are giving way to wide-eyed wonderment. She is sure that the expression is mirrored on her own face. It is a gorgeous baby, with wispy brown hair and dark blue eyes that are darting around the room. Her eyes follow the baby's, and she gets her first good look at the alcove. The walls and floor are made of brown marble, as is the baptismal font. The light is still coming from the bowl of the font, but it is not from a candle. It is coming from the marble itself, and she wonders how it is possible. The light shines itself on the only other thing in the room, which is a statue of Mary which is set in the wall above the baptismal. The statue stands serenely and wears her familiar blue and white robes as her frozen face looks down at them. The back of her neck suddenly begins to tingle as she feels someone walk up behind them, and she knows it's him. Mulder's arm wraps around her waist and he pulls her close. She leans back against him gratefully and feels his strength make her stronger. His other arm moves around her so that his hand can stroke the baby's fine hair. Scully smiles as the baby's tiny hand reaches up to grasp onto one of Mulder's fingers. And in that moment, they are content. Unexpectedly, metal gates that she didn't notice before clang shut across the door to the alcove. She moves further back into Mulder's arms, and he tightens his hold on her and the baby. Wind begins to howl around them, making her feel like she is in the center of a tornado. She is afraid that Mulder and the baby will be torn away from her, and she pulls the baby tightly to her chest. Her eyes widen as the wind begins to change the statue of Mary from frozen stillness into life. The blue robes start to ripple and wave with the wind, and her hair twists and swirls. The painted eyes blink and look down at the three of them, and paint becomes flesh. Scully gasps as Mary's hand reaches out to them, with a look that she cannot define in her newly alive eyes. Before anything more can happen the light in the baptismal goes out, and the baby cries out. As the darkness begins to over take her mind also, a sudden thought strikes her as to the nature of the look she was given. She believes that for a second, only a second, the look she was given was not a bad one, but one of welcome. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Scully sat bolt upright in bed, breathing heavily. 'What an odd dream,' she thought, running her hands over her face. She was still a little scared, but she couldn't figure out why. The end of the dream was still cloudy, but she was sure that something bad had happened. Either way it was still incredibly weird. Next to her there was a rustling of sheets, and she turned her head to look. Through the meager light from the moon outside she saw Mulder there, bleary-eyed but definitely awake. Her sudden start must have woken him up also. "You okay?" he asked, his hand reaching out to rub her leg. "Yeah," she sighed. "Just a really strange dream." "You want to talk about it?" Mulder asked, and she gave him an amused look. She knew that he wasn't one for sharing his nightmares, so this line was rather humorous coming from him. It took him a second, but he also saw the irony in this line, and he laughed sheepishly, looking down at the sheets. "I'll be fine," Scully reassured him, leaning down to kiss him softly. "Now go back to sleep." "Okay," he said, laying back down and dragging her with him so she could rest her head on his chest. Soon he was fast asleep but she was still wide-awake, thinking about the dream. She wondered why her dreams had to torture her like that, by giving her that baby and then taking it away once more. She already knew quite well that she wouldn't be able to have children, so why did her subconscious keep trying to tempt her with things she would never have? Scully looked up at Mulder's peaceful face and sighed heavily, wishing that she could get back to sleep as easily as him. But that wasn't going to happen, so she pushed herself up, smiling as she saw Mulder's arm reach out for her even in sleep. She got out of bed and walked over to the bedroom window. The moon was bright tonight, and the light gave everything a white glow. Scully sighed and rested her forehead against the cool glass. Her hand slipped down to rest against her stomach, right over where the children she would never have would have grown. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX And now think of what happens in Requiem....see? A little more positive. :-) Also, any subtle Rainbow Brite references are in there for my own enjoyment, seeing as this whole Requiem arc has been reminding me of a few episodes of that old cartoon all summer. *g* XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 'True love is the greatest thing in the world.' Miracle Max The Princess Bride XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 'Men will fight bravely and be heroes, but for a last ditch defense against any odds, get a mother.' The Defender High Wizardry XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 'This is the Fish Patrol in 201. Our flying fish has flown away. In fact, things are so rotten around here that even the pigs won't stay! But we'll fight to the bitter end! Beware the Fish!' Bruno Walton Beware The Fish XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX