From: Cathey Date: 20 Sep 2004 15:25:34 -0700 Subject: [all-xf] New: Spirit (1 of 1) Source: atxc Title: Spirit Author: Cathey Scully Rating: PG Spoilers: Deadalive, Three Words Category: V, A, R Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Summary: "I never wanted you to find out as I was changing your catheter bag." Companion/Sequel to Senseless. Archive: Sure. Just drop me a line and let me know where you'd like to put it. Feedback: Please! Send it to foreverxphile@adelphia.net or CatheyScully@gmail.com URL: My website can be found here http://catheysfic.tripod.com all of my fics are there, including this one. Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Mulder, Scully, or any other characters owned by Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and FOX. I mean no disrespect by borrowing these characters. Notes: Please note, that I have changed my email address from CatheyScully@the-pentagon.com to CatheyScully@gmail.com. I have been having a lot of problems logging into my "the-pentagon" account, and frequently receive nothing but spam. So I created a gmail account, which gives me much, much more space. I will continue to keep my old account for a while, but I ask that all mail be sent to either my adelphia account, or my gmail account. ~ # ~ "I'm having a baby." He stopped. The file in his hand slipped from his grip and fluttered to the floor. As his eyes flickered quickly to the scattered papers, he realized that this was the first time she'd spoken to him since that night in his apartment over a week ago. "I know," he murmured, bending to collect his papers. When he stood, his arm brushed her large belly. Damn, she'd snuck up on him again. "I wanted to tell you for so long. I wanted you to be the first person I told," he looked past her, past all of their unspoken problems. "Mulder, I practiced how I would tell you," she continued, causing his eyes to jump to hers in surprise. She smiled faintly, sadly at him. "I did. When you first disappeared, I thought about you returning unhurt, and springing the news over dinner, telling you we'd gotten our miracle. When I started to show a little, and you were still gone, I imagined you coming back, going back to work like nothing was wrong, and I thought about slipping an ultrasound photo in one of your files while you weren't looking. Or I thought about being in bed one night, you sleeping beside me, and you getting kicked and finally asking what the hell was going on." He looked away again, but she reached for his hand and settled it on her smooth belly. She pressed his fingers to a protruding heel, or maybe it was a knee. "I never wanted you to find out as I was changing your catheter bag. This baby," she paused, taking a deep breath. "This baby is your baby, Mulder. It always has been." "And I know you think I packed up and move on with you gone. I did, but it was only enough to be able to wake up in the morning. Only enough to be able to get dressed and go to work. I only functioned for this baby." Mulder nodded slowly. "I know." "I know what you went through, Mulder, because I dreamed it. I saw it in my nightmares and I prayed everyday for it not to be true." His eyes slid closed, swallowing as her admissions reminded him once again of his imprisonment. He felt a nudge from beneath his hand and his eyes popped open. Scully's gaze was level with his. "No more lies, Scully. I was sick, I should have told you." "Yes you should have." "But I wanted us to be free, to be unburdened. That's why I didn't tell you." Scully moved away from him, her eyes widening with realization. "You knew you were going to be taken," she accused. "You thought they would fix you, and I'd never have to know. That's why you were so insistent that you go." She bit her lip, and he saw hormonal tears well in her eyes. "I didn't deserve your distrust, Mulder." As she settled heavily in his old chair, he saw her shoulders shake. He crossed over to squat in front of her, drawing her close and tucking her cheek in his neck. He drew soothing patterns on her neck as he rocked her slowly. "Shh, it's okay, Scully. You deserve more than anything I can give you," he murmured, pressing his mouth against her ear. "I don't care," she hiccupped, "I know you, Mulder, I accept you, I trust you. I thought you trusted me." "I do," he whispered, "I do. But I'm a selfish jackass." Scully sniffed into his neck, tightening her arms around his shoulders before regaining her sense of composure and sitting up. She took a deep breath and reached past him for a tissue. "I'm sorry." "Me too," he murmured, his hand still rubbing her neck. "Can we call a truce now?" "Why?" she asked softly, clearing her throat to drive the huskiness from her voice. Mulder brushed his hand over her neck and pulled away, reaching for her hands and squeezing them tightly. "Because, we're having a baby." End