From: Jedi Shipper Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2000 18:30:53 -0800 (PST) Subject: xfc: Sponsalia 1/3 Source: xfc From: Jedi Shipper TITLE: Sponsalia by The Jedi Shipper E-MAIL: JediShipper@yahoo.com DISTRIBUTION: If you want it, I'd be honored. Just drop me a line telling me where it goes. :-) SPOILER WARNING: Amor Fati, Emily, Dreamland I, Arcadia RATING: PG, PG-13 at most though quasi-smut does ensue in the last chapter CLASSIFICATION: XRA KEYWORDS: MSR SUMMARY: A dream is an answer to a question we don't yet know how to ask, but it's not till we find the question, that we can understand the answer. AUTHOR'S NOTES: at the end of the first part... DEDICATIONS: For their encouragement, without these people I would have quit on this fic, I would like to dedicate this to Bee, Rotem Shahar, Jade, rikki and Carrie. Especially Carrie who came up with the brilliant title (Latin for a gift betrothed, intended) Of course, my wonderful BETA reader who makes my fics...well, more than presentable, Adrienne. What a mess I would have on my hands without you! (bouncing his knees on...LOLO!) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "...the face in the misty light Footsteps that you hear down the hall The laugh that floats on a summer night That you can never quite recall... Those eyes how familiar they seem... But she's only a dream" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sponsalia 1/3 He knew it was a dream. It had that hazy, dream quality. A surreal quality that could only happen when the world slips away into the darkness of sleep. Of course, the paramount of knowing dream from reality was the knowledge that he had had his dream before. In his dream he'd met Scully under different circumstances, a different reality where they were free to date and marry. Mulder sat on the porch watching their three children, her Emily and his two nameless boys, playing together in the lawn. In real life these children remained little more then dreams, though Emily had lived. In this reality they were alive and well, growing up under the watchful eye of doting parents. Mulder heard footsteps behind him. Scully sat next to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She watched the children, her head on his shoulder. "They weren't meant to be, Mulder," she said into his ear. "I know," he said wistfully. "Does that mean we aren't meant to be?" he asked his dream Scully. "No. It just means we weren't meant to live the American dream," she swept her hand over the scene before them, "picket fence and all." "Don't you want this normal life?" "No," she whispered, her voice carrying a sad conviction. As she spoke the porch and the giggling children faded into his familiar basement office. "I want your normal life." At least, that was how the dream had gone in the past. Tonight, it was different. It started out the same, as he watched their phantom children giggle and play. Just as before, Scully came to sit beside him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "Aren't they beautiful?" she whispered into his ear. He was surprised. "What?" he asked, shifting in her arms so that he was facing her. She knitted her eyebrows, about to reply when the sound of a baby crying pierced the air. Scully smiled ruefully and got to her feet. A baby? Mulder got up to follow Scully but something stopped him: a tug at his shirt. Mulder looked down to find Emily and the boys staring up at him adoringly. They smiled and wordlessly turned, walking away into the mist. Mulder watched them until they disappeared. As he turned back to the door, he found that he was already inside, but it wasn't a house. It was a building, a daycare of some sort, judging by the toys on the floor. Scully was standing over a baby crib, gripping the side of the rails so hard her knuckles were turning white. This wasn't the Scully from the porch, laid back and relaxed. This was the Scully he knew, smart-looking in a power suit and 3 inch heels. As he approached, she turned, eyes wide with shock and fright. As she stared into his eyes, Mulder woke up. "Mulder?" Scully asked, his movements stirring her from slumber. Her head was pillowed on his chest. Now her hand moved from his stomach to tuck a wisp of hair from his forehead. "I'm sorry. I was dreaming," he said simply, distracted. "What about?" Through the early morning light he could see the worry in her eyes. She knew his dreams, had often woken him in the few months they'd been together, holding him until he calmed. "It was weird Scully...but not bad. It's all right," he assured her, pulling his arm tighter around her shoulder. "Go back to sleep." She sighed, a sleepy sound. Soon her breath was again slow, even against his bare chest. Mulder remained awake, deep in thought. In the past, the dream had been an answer to a question he hadn't yet learned how to ask. Now, he wondered what it was trying to tell him, if anything. After that night, the dream didn't come again. Gradually, Mulder forgot about it. ******* A year and a half later It had been an eventful year. A year in which everything had gone to hell and back again. A desperate struggle between the heavens and the earth before they'd managed, with the considerable help of the rebel race and men like Walter Skinner, to bring down the alien conspiracy. Essentially, they had saved a world that ironically would never know it had needed saving. Precious few on the earth realized the dire fate they'd escaped. It was fine with the both of them. There was still much work to be done and no time to play the dutiful heroes. The Consortium had left behind facility after facility filled with experiments abandoned by the scientists that worked for them. The saddest of all the facilities were the children's buildings. Old persons' homes with curtained-off rooms and cylinders holding growing fetuses. Small babies and toddlers, half-human, half-alien, with no parents who would even know they were there to claim. That had been Scully's project. She arranged for the innocent children to be sent to orphanages, made sure that their caretakers knew that they were special needs kids. Some facilities would not be found on time, and some children had died, but Scully was determined that all would not suffer the fate of her own lost child. Meanwhile, Mulder had devoted his attention to the clones and drones. It was painful for him, finding the colonies of Samantha and Kurt drones, still mindlessly tending fields of infected corn crops. He made sure the crops were destroyed though. So far, they could do nothing for the drones. They couldn't learn. The couldn't even speak. They knew no life besides the work they'd been bred to do. It was heartbreaking work that Mulder and Scully did. The clean up would be long and hard, but ultimately, it would be done. Sometimes it was all they could do to come home at night and hold each other. The eight-year war they'd waged had cost them so much that they, at times, needed reassurance that they had not lost each other. So they would sit in silence, curled up together, just remembering to breathe. "You know, I never thought I'd say this, but it felt almost good to do a little monster chasing," Scully said to him one night when they'd returned from one of the few cases they now took. "Too many months of seeing what pain and destruction so few people...and otherwise, brought to this world," he said, holding her close, tucking her head beneath his chin. Scully was silent for a moment. "It's ironic isn't it?" she asked. "What's that?" "The only thing they ever did right was pair me with you." He smiled, bringing his lips to kiss the top of her head. He curled himself into the corner of the couch, bringing her with him so that her back was against his chest. His hands began to wander, slipping beneath her shirt, trailing deliciously up and down her sides. His exploring was cut short by the ringing phone. Both sighed, smiling ruefully at each other before Mulder arched one arm behind him to reach for the phone. "Mulder." "Agent Mulder, this is Susan Hunt from the DC Child's Care Orphanage." DC Child's Care. It was one of the more recent facilities found, Mulder remembered. "Hold on a moment. I'll get Agent Scully," Mulder said. He handed the phone to Scully, pressing his ear near hers so that they could both listen. "I was calling to tell you that, as expected, all of the children exhibited hemophiliactic symptoms." There was a pause. "All except one. A nine-month-old child...a baby girl." "What's wrong with her?" Scully asked, her breath catching in her throat. "Absolutely nothing," Hunt said. "She's completely healthy and ...100% human." Scully nearly dropped the phone. "Well, what's she doing there?" "I have no clue. There's only the usual, birth records, other generic registration documents, and the standard two initials." Scully bit her lip. "I don't know what to say. Run her blood through the PCP data drive." "All right," Hunt said. There was a sigh. "You know, after all the suffering children I've seen, it was almost a relief to find Little Miss." "Little Miss?" "LM, her initials. We call her Little Miss," Hunt explained. Her voice seemed far away, lost in the tragedy of it all. "But then, you have to wonder why she's here. If not to serve the purpose these other children did, why was she brought into this world?" "There's no record of her birth?" Scully asked, her voice cutting into the woman's musings. "Oh yes. She was born to one Elizabeth Roy. Age 85," Mrs. Hunt answered. "Like the others," Scully said. There was a silence between the two women. Then Mrs. Hunt spoke again. "I'll run her blood through the files. I'll get back to you, Agent Scully." "All right," Scully muttered distractedly. She hung up the phone. Mulder's arms tightening around her chest reminded her that she was still curled up against him. She brought her hands up to squeeze his. "God, Mulder. I keep thinking there has to be an end to the evils committed by these people. Then something else they've done comes to light," she said softly. He squeezed her hand, as much comfort as he could give her in that moment. "What are you thinking?" He was angry, though he didn't let it seep into his voice. Scully didn't answer right away. "Maybe it's one of theirs," Scully murmured. "A baby made specifically for the purpose of experimentation. A child they could experiment on from birth." Mulder's heart wrenched. He couldn't imagine knowing nothing but the pains and horrors of the tests all your life. It was a life Samantha had lived, one he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy. "If that's true Scully...she's safe now." ******* The PCP data file had been Mulder's idea. After finding offices filled with human ova, Mulder had suggested they organize the DNA into one file. As children were found, they were cross checked with abductees. If a match was made and a mother found alive, efforts were made to unite the mother with a child she thought she'd never have. Adoption papers were in the works everywhere. Arrangements were being made to give the ova back to their owners. A lot of red tape was required to do this, give these people their rightful chance to carry their own children. That, however, was the law. Still, some of the children had not found homes. Their mothers either did not want them or were dead from a cancer that was a side effect of the same procedures that had brought the children to life. Mulder wondered who this little girl was, and why she'd been brought to life. It would be a wonderful thing to present her to two parents, whole and normal. But that, more than likely, was an unrealistic dream that Mulder didn't allow himself to hope for. Mulder was on his way home, but Scully had said she would have to stop by their office before getting back. She had left her cell phone in his car and Mulder had debated whether or not to go wait for her at the office. Ultimately, he decided he'd rather have a relatively fair dinner on the table for a change, which actually consisted of just a frozen lasagna and some hot soup. Mulder was trying to remember if they had bread when a phone rang, startling him out of his planning. He reached immediately for the phone in his pocket but found that it was, instead, Scully's phone on the seat that was ringing. "Mulder..." he answered. There was a pause on the other end before Mrs. Hunt's voice came through. "Agent Mulder? I need to speak to Agent Scully." "She isn't here right now. Can I take a message?" Another pause. "I really think I should talk to her about this." "Is this about Little Miss?" Mulder prodded. "Agent Mulder, this is something she needs to hear privately." The woman sounded almost nervous. Mulder's quick mind ran through the possibilities of what Mrs. Hunt could possibly have to say that she couldn't trust Mulder with the information. Then it hit him like a ton of cold bricks. "Little Miss...is her daughter," Mulder said numbly, almost unaware he'd said it out loud. For a moment he held his breath and hoped it wasn't true, that Mrs. Hunt would laugh at him. But then her small sigh told him what he needed to know. "Look, Mrs. Hunt, I'll tell her. Let me tell her," Mulder said hoarsely. "She went to the office, I'll tell her as soon as she gets home." "Your X-Files office? Oh dear. Well I called there not five minutes ago and left a message." Mulder cursed inwardly. "Ok, well don't lie to her when she calls you. Just tell her I'll meet her at the Facility as soon as possible. There's something I need to do first." As soon as he hung up the phone Mulder did a U-turn. Scully would have questions, and he knew that this alone would be trying enough for her. The least he could do was provide some answers. ********** DC Maximum Security Prison Mulder was practically shaking with barely contained rage as the door opened and CGB Spender was led in. It was something of a miracle that he had survived it all, even as his comrades and cronies had fallen around him. Then again, Mulder thought, you can't really kill the devil. He was escorted into the private room where Mulder waited. Mulder had hoped to forget about his father and the suffering he'd caused to so many people, but here he was, face to face with him again. Yes, the dark clothing had been replaced by an average prison uniform--orange really wasn't his color, Mulder thought--but there was still that smug aura about him that made the man who he was. Of course, as always, his ever-present Morley was pressed between his lips. "Fox," he greeted after a pregnant moment. His tone was casual, conversational. He seemed as if he was almost happy to see Mulder. "It's been a while. After our last meeting, I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again." Mulder stared at the man, his eyes cold. When he spoke again, his voice carried a sharp, dangerous edge to it. "Who is she?" Spender had the courtesy to at least blink in surprise. "Who?" "Oh, I think you know. I want to know who she is and why she was created. Why create a child when you have so many others you can poke and prod at? Why did it have to be hers?" Smokey allowed a slow smile to spread across his face. "You found her? LM?" Mulder had to fight not to punch the grin right off the other man's face. "Why this time? Is it because you know what it did to Scully to lose Emily? Did you just want to hurt her again, just for being there?" "Agent Scully was never meant to find Emily, though yes, I could see the incident took its toll on her. That, however, was not why I ordered LM created," Spender said in his annoyingly calm monotone. If the man wasn't so infuriating, his voice would have been almost soothing. Mulder felt another surge of anger course through him at the Smoking Man's words. "You ordered her created? Do you know how sick you are? Do you think you're God?" "Not any more than you do when you raise your gun to kill someone, but you think your reasons are justified and right. Am I any different then you, when it comes down to it?" A torrent of disgust ran through Mulder. He wanted to yell and scream to his heart's content that he was nothing like the man that sat across from him. He wanted to pound his fists into Spender's face until he said the words out loud, took them back. But that was precisely what Spender wanted. He played the devil's game of making his adversary crazy as he calmly smoked a cigarette, letting the other man throw the first punch. Mulder would not give in to his game--not this time. Mulder closed his eyes briefly before he asked his next question. "Who is her father?" The answer to that question absolutely terrified Mulder. There were really very few possibilities and each one made him sick to his stomach. He wondered if he really wanted to know this particular truth. But the truth was far too important. He knew that Scully would want to know, and because of that, he would find out. He would rather she learn the truth from him, whatever it was, than let it slip out later when it could hurt her. Spender took a long drag of his cigarette before pulling away. He slowly blew out a long breath of smoke, his eyes narrowing slightly. As he looked at Mulder, he seemed almost amused. "You honestly don't know?" Mulder only looked at the other man. Again the grin graced Spender's face as he put the cigarette to his lips, taking another leisurely puff. Finally he spoke. "LM is my granddaughter." For such a simple phrase spoken so calmly, so off-handedly that one might have thought they were discussing the weather, Mulder's entire world seemed to suddenly grow unsteady around him. His breath caught and stayed in his throat as his knees grew weak as Jell-O. In those first few moments after Spender's matter-of-fact announcement, Mulder's only thought was how he was glad he was already sitting down. "How?" When Mulder managed to speak again it was a gasp, coming out as if pulled from him slowly. Spender shrugged nonchalantly. "Once we were certain you and Agent Scully were...more than partners, it was easy, almost logical. LM was meant as a gift to you both." Mulder felt almost physically ill. "A gift?" he asked, disgusted. "You're talking about a human life, not an object. You created her to distract us because you knew we'd bring you down eventually," Mulder's voice became stronger as he spoke. "I guess you figured, what the hell? You'd tried so many other ways to keep us down." Again Spender shrugged. "No gift is given unselfishly, I believe I told you before. But then, there were more problems to deal with than I had expected." Mulder suddenly could not be in the same room with Spender any longer. He got up and pounded on the door. "Guard! I'm done here." "Why would you be angry at me, Fox? Isn't this what she dreams of, what she thought she couldn't have? What you thought you couldn't have? And here I've given you a chance to live that life you've forsaken." Mulder turned again to stare at the man. "Go to Hell," he spat, then turned and walked away from Spender. ************* "Mrs. Hunt, is Agent Scully here?" Mulder asked the second the door to the center opened. "Yes. She got here not five minutes ago. She's in the nursery with Little Miss. I'll show you." Mulder followed the woman impatiently up the stairs to the nursery entrance. As they approached it, Mulder's heart began to pound erratically. He hadn't really let himself think since he'd heard the news about Little Miss. He'd always felt the need to act first, rationalize later, grieve later, let it all sink in later. His thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Hunt's voice. "Now, you'll have to be quiet," she said in a motherly fashion. "All the babies in here are napping." Her voice was stern but gentle, and as she spoke she stepped aside, allowing him access to the door. Mulder could only nod. He put his hand on the door knob, twisted slowly and pushed it open. The scene before him was vaguely familiar, though Mulder couldn't quite place it. Two rolls of cribs stood, one on each side of the large room, each decorated with a mobile of some sort and an overhead light, currently off. In almost all of the cribs, infants bearing only initials for names lay sleeping. Mulder let his eyes track to the very last crib on the right hand side where Scully stood, her back to him. From this distance, he could see that the mobile over Little Miss was surprisingly appropriate. It was a colorful display of the sun, the moon and all nine planets each sporting its own design. As he approached, Mulder could see that Scully was gripping the side of the crib so tightly her knuckles had turned white. She did not look up as he walked up to stand beside her, studying her face carefully. Finally Mulder lay his hand over hers. She released that hand's death grip on the wood, twining her fingers through his and squeezing painfully. She still did not look up. Mulder followed her gaze to the small form on the mattress. Small feet kicked out from under the blanket. Tiny fingers curled around the silky edge of a baby blanket, forming a fist. Her head was covered with fine, curly brown hair, just as Scully had sported when she was younger, and just as Samantha had. Her lips were curled into a familiar pout. A single thought ran through Mulder's mind as he looked down on the girl. 'Thank God she doesn't have my nose.' His one incoherent thought was interrupted as Scully's breathing became heavier. She let go of her crushing grips on both the crib and his hand, backing up a few paces. Her face was dangerously pale. Then her legs seemed to simply give out. She didn't faint; she just didn't have the strength to hold herself upright anymore and sat heavily on the floor. Mulder wasted no time sitting beside her, wrapping his arms around her. He guided her back against his chest, holding her tightly. Her hands came up to grasp his over her heart. "I can't do this again, Mulder," she gasped, her voice not above a whisper. "I can't do this again." "It's not the same." He tried to comfort her, but she cut him off. "Isn't it? What is her purpose, Mulder? Emily wasn't brought into this world to be loved, and neither was she." Scully turned in his hold so she could press her cheek against his shirt. "I can't love her only to lose her," she said, speaking even softer than before. "She isn't dying, Scully. There is no one left who could possibly want to take her away." Scully was silent for a moment. She pulled back so that she could look at him. Mulder could see the fear and past pain in her tear-filled eyes. He knew what she was about to say hurt her terribly. "Who's her father? Was he the one who had her created? If he is, won't he come back for her?" Mulder moved his hands to cup her face, fighting the tears in his own eyes. "Her father," he began, trying not to choke on the lump that had formed in his throat, "her father had nothing to do with her creation." Scully titled her head at him. "How do you know?" Mulder took several deep breaths before he trusted himself to speak again. "Because...I'm her father. She's my daughter." Scully's eyes grew wide with shock. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. Instead, she again buried her head against his chest, her arms squeezing him tightly around his waist. His arms wound tightly around her as he buried his head on her shoulder. They stayed that way, wrapped around each other on the nursery floor, slowly rocking back and forth. They both cried, tears of fear, tears of shock. Neither moved for a long time. Author's Notes: I was really getting sick of all those baby fics that were either unbelievable (Scully CAN'T have kids) or so sickeningly sweet they can give someone cavities. I started this fic with great trepidation, wondering if I could do better. It took a lot of encouraging! From: Jedi Shipper Author's Notes: All right, here we go again. All the info, spoiler warnings and such, are in part one. Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm so afraid to love you But more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose I Will Remember You- Sarah McLachlan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sponsalia 2/3 Eventually Mrs. Hunt found the two of them. Her gentle voice lured them downstairs, where she put cups of coffee in their hands before rushing off to take care of a minor mishap. Neither spoke for the first few minutes as they nursed their coffees. The steaming hot liquid brought them back down to reality, out of the surreal daze they'd both been in since they'd heard the news. "How did you find out, Mulder?" Scully asked simply, staring at her cup rather than at him. Mulder winced internally, knowing that the answer might upset her. "Mrs. Hunt called your cell phone, which I had in the car--" "You knew before I did." Before he could continue Scully's head snapped up, looking at him now. "She said she'd been trying to get ahold of you, had left a message at the office so I knew you'd find out. I wanted to get all the answers first." Her features softened at that. "So what are the answers?" Now it was Mulder's turn to look downward. "I went to see our old friend, CGB Spender." Scully tilted her head at this, surprised. After they'd walked away from the courthouse that day, four months ago, Mulder had made it loud and clear that if he went his entire life without seeing CGB Spender again, it would be too soon. It must have taken a lot for him to go there, she thought as she put her hand over his, urging him to continue. "He told me that...Little Miss was meant as a gift," Mulder laughed bitterly. "What he meant was, she was created to keep us out of his hair, but he was too late. By the time she was born, things were already in motion...he was too busy fighting to keep his conspiracy alive to carry through whatever plans he had for her." "They knew about us?" Scully asked softly. Mulder nodded, tracing a finger over her hand. "How are you doing?" Scully looked down and shook her head. "I don't know, to be honest with you. It's a shock, obviously. I don't know what to think or what to feel...or what to do." She shook her head again. "How are you?" Now it was Mulder's turn to shake his head, but he gave a short laugh. "I don't know. Numb, I guess. And scared." Scully squeezed his hand, a silent way of saying that she was scared too. Another moment of silence passed between them before Scully spoke again. "Mulder," she began hesitantly, "How do you know he's telling you the truth?" Mulder looked up sharply, his eyes narrowing. Then he realized that he hadn't really thought of that possibility. He hadn't been thinking very rationally. "I didn't even think about that, Scully. You're right. Well, it's easy to test right?" Scully seemed to be taken aback by his comment. "I expected an argument." "No, you're logical, as usual. He's lied to us before, there's no reason he wouldn't now. You're right." Mulder curled his fingers around her hand, squeezing tightly. " I don't understand how you do that. No matter what they tell you, you always look for a logical course of action. You always need complete proof before you believe anything." His tone was more in admiration than anything. Before she could reply, approaching steps stopped any comment on her lips. Mrs. Hunt stepped through the door...carrying an obviously just awakened Little Miss. Both Mulder and Scully's breaths caught in their throats. If there had been any lingering doubt in Scully's mind of who this child belonged to, it was gone now. Little Miss had her father's deep eyes, both in color and in set. The twin circles of misty green were the same Scully woke up to nearly every morning, just in a smaller size. "Excuse me," Scully said, getting up. She brushed passed Mrs. Hunt and Little Miss without looking up. Mulder's heart wrenched. He wished there was something he could do or say to comfort her. But Scully had always needed to be strong, and when she faltered, she preferred to do it alone. Mrs. Hunt sighed, looking at the door Scully had just walked through. "Poor dear. I can't imagine how it would feel to learn you have a nine-month-old child...and not to have a clue who the father is..." Mulder pursed his lips. "I'm the father," he said quietly. Mrs. Hunt looked at him, surprise evident on her face. She hid it quickly, simply accepting this statement as fact. In the months since she had come to know Mulder and Scully, a lot of strange things had been presented to her. So she simply held the gently cooing child out to him. "I have to go check on the other children; would you hold her, Agent Mulder?" Now it was Mulder's turn to look surprised. He suddenly got very nervous. "Me? I uh..." he stumbled. "I don't even know how to hold a baby." It was true, he realized. In his entire lifetime he'd hardly seen a baby let alone held one. The last infant he had seen was Bill Scully's Matthew, and Bill would rather go to Hell and back before he'd let his precious child near Mulder. Mrs. Hunt smiled knowingly. "There's no trick to it. She's old enough that her neck will support her head," she said as she laid Little Miss in the crook of Mulder's arm, not really giving him a choice. Before he could protest, she left, again murmuring something about looking after the other children. Mulder's first reaction was to glance around, trying to see if there was anyone else who could hold the little girl. Then he sat stark still, afraid to move even the slightest bit, lest he drop the squirming child. His distraction suddenly ceased when he felt a soft, feathery touch to the side of his cheek. He looked down to find that the baby was staring up at him, grinning. Her wandering hands fluttered around his shoulders, playing some game that only she was aware of, giggling merrily. She had Scully's set, determined mouth, he thought, and perfectly-formed nose. He felt he could fall in love with the little girl at that moment. She was half Scully and half himself, the embodiment of his own soul. He had never thought this moment would come to pass. After all, in his younger years he had been Spooky Mulder, handsome enough to get a date, but who would want him for life? When he'd finally found his better half, the person that completed him, he had forever dismissed the thought of children. If she couldn't have them, then neither could he. It was that simple. Yet here he was, holding his child in his arms. Her eyes were so very innocent, pure. It was not something he was used to seeing, and then it hit him hard. A profound feeling passed through him, and he suddenly looked up, wanting, needing to see Scully. She was there, leaning against the doorway, a look somewhere between longing and fear playing on her face. Mrs. Hunt chose that moment to return from wherever she had been. She carried a bottle in her hand. "You know," she said, as she sat beside Mulder. "You could take Little Miss out for a little while. She hasn't been out in...God only knows how long, and I know you won't run off with her. What do you say?" Mulder's eyes did not move from Scully's. He bit his lower lip, trying to read her expression. Finally, almost reluctantly, he settled Little Miss in Mrs. Hunt's arms. "I think we have a lot to talk about, Mrs. Hunt," he said gently. "We're going to go home. Thank you." Scully exchanged a grateful look with him and wordlessly nodded at Mrs. Hunt before stepping out of the room. They walked out of the building wordlessly, getting in the car in an extended moment of silence and thought. "What are you thinking?" Mulder asked once they were on the road. Scully shook her head. "Please Mulder, can we just not talk about it tonight? Just tonight. I need some time," she asked. Mulder took his eyes off the road to look at her for a moment. Then he nodded. "Thank you," she said softly. ****** Fox Mulder's Apartment When they'd arrived at his apartment, there had been a brief discussion on what to eat, but neither of them had been hungry. Both had retreated into silence, Scully burying her head in some paperwork, Mulder simply sitting and thinking. "What would you name a girl, Scully?" Mulder asked out of the blue. "Excuse me?" she asked, looking up from her position on the couch. Mulder was staring off into space. "L-M names. Laura, Lisa, Liz, Lindsay, Leia." "Leia?" Scully interrupted, raising an eyebrow. "As in...Princess Leia?" Mulder looked at her. "Well why not? I mean, a strong, short, beautiful royal...what's not to love about Leia?" Scully just shook her head and turned back to her work. "Lydia, Lynn, Lyda, Leslie, Lacy, Lolita...Marie, Maureen, Meredith, Mercury." "Mercury?" another raised eyebrow. He ignored her. "Mandye, Megan, Marty, Maggie, Mara, Monica." Scully laughed. "Marcy, Malee, Madeline, Marianne, Misty, Michelle," she said softly. Mulder smiled. "Try L's." Scully thought for a moment. "Lela, Leah, Lori, Lara, Lilly, Luanne, Lois." Mulder snapped, sitting up straight suddenly. "I got it! Lisa Marie!" "Oh no!" Scully protested. "No daughter of mine is going to be named after anyone who'd marry Michael Jackson." Scully froze as the words passed her lips. Mulder held his breath. It was the first time since she'd found out about Little Miss that Scully had admitted out loud that she was her daughter. He watched her, not knowing what her reaction might be. Scully licked her lips apprehensively. "Mulder, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep." She got up, abandoning her work for the safety of his bedroom. Mulder sighed as he watched her retreat. He wished there was some way he could comfort and reassure her, but he was just as lost and confused about the whole thing as she was. He didn't know what to want. Mulder sighed again. She felt far from him now but he knew that as long as he continued to be here, she would find her way back to him, sooner or later. He could only hope it was sooner. ******* Something was terribly wrong. Scully knew it instinctively as she put her hand on the door knob. She turned it carefully, drawing her weapon before easing the door open. As she neared the baby's room there was shouting and then the sudden crack of gun fire. Scully's heart sped up as she ran the last distance, bursting into the room just in time to see a figure jump out the window, glass still raining down around him. On top of it all came the sound she would never forget, a small, terrified scream. Her child called for her, begging for help in one frightened word. "Mommy!" But before she could even take another step the shadow figure and her precious baby girl were gone, disappearing completely from her view. "Mulder!" she called, need evident in her voice. Then she realized that a form was crumpled on the other side of the crib, one large, unmistakable foot visible from her viewpoint. "No. God, no," she cried as she ran to him, falling to her knees beside his limp body. Blood was pooling in terrifying amounts around him from the single gunshot wound to the chest. In his right hand, his gun was still out, a picture of his last effort to protect his daughter. Desperately, Scully searched for a pulse, the entire time repeating "No, no," frantically under her breath. When she found none, the mantra got louder as her voice broke until she was screaming the word, holding Mulder's lifeless form to her body. "No. No. NO!" ************ "NO!" Scully gasped, sitting straight up in bed. "Scully?" Mulder's reassuring, yet groggy voice came from beside her. He sat up, putting a hand on her shoulder. "God, Mulder," Scully gasped, her breath still heavy. "They took her, I couldn't do anything, they took her." Somewhere, Scully knew she was babbling but her mind was still slow with sleep. "She was gone. You were gone." He drew her back into his arms, murmuring mindless words of comfort. Slowly her breath slowed until she could think again. Then she turned to him, her eyes obviously wide and frightened even in the dim moonlight that filled the room. "What was it you said about dreams?" she asked shakily. "You said they were answers to questions we hadn't learned to ask. Well, I dreamed that I had a family, that I could be so greedy as to ask for that much when I've been told it would never happen. I lost her, again, but this time I lost everything. I lost you. Is that the answer, Mulder?" Her voice shook with the tears that shone in her eyes as she asked these questions, afraid of the answers. He squeezed her tighter. "No, Scully. It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare, a manifestation of your deepest fears. You are so afraid to love this little girl, too afraid have a chance for that normal life you've been denied." "What about you dream, Mulder?" Scully asked, shifting slightly in his hold. "Where you took a different way, you found your sister and lived a life of creature comforts. You said that I told you it wasn't the right path. What makes it right now?" Mulder sighed softly before placing his lips to her neck. His next words vibrated against her skin. "That dream was to show me that I was on the right path. If what happened to my family had happened to a different group of people, then you and I would never have brought down the conspiracy. We would have died like everyone else, and we would have never found each other." Mulder moved his head so that his nose nuzzled her hair, his lips now hovering next to her ear. " It was showing me that my path was meant to be here with you, and we will never stop fighting...but that doesn't mean we can't love our daughter. We weren't given a choice in her creation Scully, but she's here." Scully was silent for a moment. A single tear had formed in the corner of her eye, and now it trickled down her cheek. "You called Emily a miracle not meant to be...what makes Little Miss any different?" "She was created specifically so that we could love her, Scully," he said gently. "No matter what their motive was." Again they sat in silence, Scully's head tucked beneath his chin, her back against his chest and his arms wrapped securely around her. Scully thought long and hard as Mulder's chest rose and fell in a comforting rhythm beneath her. "We could turn my guest bedroom into a nursery," she said finally. "At least until we figure out something long term." Mulder's smile spread slowly into her hair. "Unless you think a crib could fit in my closet." Scully pulled back in his arms so she could look at him. The tears the sparkled in her eyes were now happy tears full of love for him, and a growing love for her daughter. They both gave a small laugh before Mulder dipped his head to kiss her softly. ******* As soon as the day had reached a reasonable hour, Scully had called Mrs. Hunt to take her up on her offer. As soon as they had struggled with the car seat and had prepared a bag with a few necessities, they were off to run errands. Suddenly, so much needed to be done. Little Miss seemed fascinated by the car ride and the world outside. She hadn't seen much of it, Scully suddenly realized, in her short nine months of life. Intellectually, Scully knew that the little girl couldn't see anything that went by as fast as they were going, but still her eyes were wide and curious, staring out at the world that was rushing past her as she gurgled contentedly. They arrived at their first stop, and soon Little Miss was at Mulder's hip and a bag slung over Scully's shoulder. It took Frohike an extra few seconds to open the door, enough to recover from his surprise Mulder guessed, but when he did he was grinning. "My, my. What's a fetching young lady like yourself doing with a guy like him?" Frohike asked Little Miss, who just cooed at him. He turned his attention to Scully. "'Course I've been saying that to you for years." Mulder smiled and pushed by him. "Seriously, Mulder... What's this about?" Byers asked, his eyes on the baby. "Who's the kid?" Langly chimed in. Scully was surveying the area with a critical eye, suddenly seeing about a thousand things Little Miss would not hesitate to put in her mouth. "Not in here, in there," Scully ordered, pointing to the back room where the Gunmen slept. It was relatively safe in there, she thought, if you didn't count the video collection that didn't quite rival Mulder's. And it had a computer. The moment Little Miss was settled on the couch she was up again, exploring the new laps around her. "We need you to get some information for us," Mulder said. "We need you to run a name through the birth records." The Lone Gunmen had been instrumental in bringing down the conspiracy. Now they helped by recovering missing birth certificates to match the old women found in the facilities with the previously orphaned children. "Sure," Frohike said, turning to the computer keyboard. "What's the name?" "Elizabeth Roy." Meanwhile, Little Miss was reaching from the couch, holding her arms out to Langly. Hesitantly, he took them and helped her into his lap and unknowingly, to her chosen play thing--his glasses. "Elizabeth Roy," Frohike read from the computer screen. "Gave birth to a baby girl. August 16th, 2000. 7lbs, 8 ounces, 19 inches long ....is that her?" Frohike asked, nodding at the girl who was now playing tug-of-war with Langly for his glasses. "Yeah," Mulder nodded distractedly, his eyes on Scully. "August 16th," he muttered, looking at her as if they were the only two in the room. "Seriously guys," Byers said, startling the two out of their moment. "Who is she? How'd you get stuck baby-sitting?" Scully's eyes turned to Little Miss. Langly had, by then, distracted her from his glasses by bouncing her on his knee. She looked back at Mulder, examining his face, trying to read his expression and know what he was thinking. Finally she exhaled slowly, rubbing her forehead with one hand. "It's a long story." ********* Margaret Scully Residence By the time Mulder and Scully left the Gunmen's place and had taken care of one other pressing matter, it was mid-afternoon. As they pulled up to Margaret Scully's house, Little Miss was fast asleep in her car-seat, which doubled as a carrier. "Um, Mulder," Scully whispered over the baby's head. "I might have forgotten something in the rush we've been in lately." "Like what?" Mulder asked as they walked up the stairs. "Bill, Tara and Matthew are here, visiting from California." Mulder's eyes widened and Scully could see the curse on his lips, but before he was able to voice it the door opened. "Dana!" Maggie greeted her daughter. "What are you doing just standing out h..." The comment died on her lips when she saw what Mulder was carrying. She looked from the sleeping child, to Mulder and then to Scully. "What is this all about?" Scully sighed, "It's a really long story. Can we come in?" ***** It had actually worked out to be an opportune time for the two of them to stop by and "visit." Matthew had also gone down for a nap a little while earlier, so he and Little Miss were tucked safely in the guest bedroom while the adults all settled around the kitchen table. "So this is Emily all over again?" Bill asked when Scully had finished explaining as best she could the situation. She sighed. This, she knew, was going to be the hard part. "No. She's different. Emily's blood was abnormal. She didn't have a regular father. Little Miss has a father, though he was as in the dark about her as I was." "Do you know who it is?" Maggie asked. Mulder and Scully shared a brief, nervous look. "I am," Mulder said finally. "She's my daughter." There was a heavy moment before Bill slammed a fist on the table, making Tara and Maggie jump. "This is crazy!" he yelled, his face growing red. Scully took a deep breath, looking at him with as much patience as she could muster. "Bill, I know you don't understand...but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter where she came from at this point. All that matters is that she's here, she's ours and right now, we need your support." "This isn't normal, Dana. Children appearing out of nowhere with only half-normal genetic material, then *this* little girl who's just fine, but she's yours and...his," he spat, gesturing at Mulder and saying the word as if it tasted foul in his mouth. "Bill, you're going to wake the children," Tara admonished gently. "We didn't ask for this to happen," Mulder said calmly. "But we can't just go back to not knowing she exists. The fact is that she does, and she's ours. Whether you like it or not." "So you're going to try to adopt her?" Maggie asked. Both Mulder and Scully nodded. "But you aren't even... together." At that Mulder winced, chewing on his lower lip. Scully took another deep breath. "Actually ," she said, reaching into her purse and pulling out a slip of paper. She handed it to her mother before continuing. "We've been together for about two years now." "This was signed two hours ago," Maggie said, still a bit numb, but a small smile was beginning to play on her lips. Scully nodded. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you; we had our reasons." They had been justified reasons. Admittedly, they could have told Maggie four months ago, when it all ended, but there had been so much to do. It simply hadn't come up, for any number of reasons. "I bet you did," Bill said. "I would have killed him before I let you do this." He grabbed the newly-signed certificate from Maggie and waved it angrily. Scully's eyes flashed. "First of all, Bill, I don't need your permission to do anything. This is my life and you sure as hell better get used to Mulder. He and I are a...unit." "Not one I support or accept," Bill said fiercely. "And I don't think I can support your decision to raise a child with him. I don't think someone as crazy as he is should even be near a child, let alone have one of his own." Mulder and Scully's eyes widened in shock. Maggie's eyes narrowed and Tara just seemed surprised that her husband would say such a thing. "What are you saying, Bill?" Scully forced herself to ask. Bill held her hard gaze for several moments before answering. "I'm saying that if I can't stop you from being with him, at least I can prevent that little girl from growing up in an unhealthy environment. I'm sorry, Dana." The blood drained from Mulder's face but Scully's was practically glowing red in anger. "You wouldn't--" "I would. After he got Melissa killed and all that's happened to you, Dana, all the crazy things you've told me or he's told me...he risks his life and yours for this selfish quest, for what? For his little green men? He had no qualms about putting you in danger; do you honestly think he'd care about a child?" Bill was now on his feet and gesturing with each word he said. "Bill, I realize you have your doubt about Fox's character, but would you really push it this far?" Maggie asked her son, looking a little pale herself. "You don't understand, Bill," Mulder spoke hoarsely. "Yes, that quest was there, but it's all over now. There's no danger left for her to be in." Bill laughed in spite. "You want me to believe you? Ever since Dana met you, you've brought nothing put pain and misfortune to this family." Mulder blenched, turning an even sicklier shade of white than he had been. "Bill, if they say it's over, it's over. And I don't see that it matters anyway," Maggie interrupted, her eyebrows furrowed in her son's direction. "Fox has always been very supportive of Dana. He was a great comfort to me when she was missing and I can see how much he loves her." Impulsively, Scully reached for Mulder's hand under the table and squeezed it. "Now," Maggie continued. "However it happened, they are the natural parents of this child. She's never been loved. All they want to do is bring her up with a loving family...is that really so hard for you to accept? Would you deny them that much?" "I wouldn't deny Dana anything, Mom, you know I wouldn't. I know how badly she wants a family of her own...but not with him." Bill waved at Mulder. That set Scully on her feet. "That isn't for you to decide." "Then don't ask me to accept it!" Bill said, louder then he had intended. The sound of a baby crying pierced the air suddenly. Three sets of exasperated eyes turned to Bill. "Now look what you've done," Tara said. She looked at Scully. "Come on Dana, Bill's screaming seems to have roused your baby and I know Matthew doesn't sleep that heavily." Scully eyed her brother and Mulder warily, as if trying to decide if one would kill the other while she was out of the room. In the end she seemed to decide that her mother's presence was enough and followed Tara out of the room. "Mrs. Scully," Mulder said, "could you give us a second alone? Please." Maggie seemed surprised and then concerned as she looked at each of them, but after a moment she left the room. Bill sat down, arms crossed, glaring at Mulder from the other side of the table. Mulder's face was calm but exhibited hurt. Not hurt because the things Bill had said wounded him, but hurt because he felt them, at least in some way, to be true. "Bill," Mulder began in a firm but soft tone, "will you hear me out before you say anything?" Bill nodded once, his eyes shifting across to an empty chair at the table. "Thank you. I know that you think I'm a sorry son of a bitch. I'm not going to argue with you on that point. Don't look at it from that point of view right now." Bill arched an eyebrow. "Just what way do you want me to look at it?" "I am not asking you to like me. I'm not even asking you to get along with me...I'm asking you to accept this little girl into your family. She didn't choose her father; don't blame her for my mistakes, she's done nothing to deserve it. And don't blame Dana either," Mulder said, staring at him calmly. Bill was quietly furious, barely holding his anger in check. "I don't blame Dana for any of this. I think she's blind to how much you've done to her, but I don't want to hurt her." "Then why are you threatening to take her chance to be a mother to this child away from her? You know what it did to her to lose Emily. She doesn't have to lose Little Miss. If you take that chance away from her, you will hurt her. And I don't want to see that happen." "Don't talk to me about hurting her, you son of a bitch," Bill said, forcing his voice to be quiet so not to draw the women's attention. "You're so damn selfish with you quest, your endless pursuit of little green men, you wouldn't think for a moment before you sacrificed Dana or that little girl to further your cause," he accused, pointing a finger at Mulder's chest. Each word twisted a knife of guilt into his heart. Mulder knew he was selfish, and that his quest had hurt Scully to no end. But she had long ago put the guilt he felt to rest. In that, he found the strength to not crumble under Bill's accusations. "I don't ever want to hurt her. I wouldn't let anyone hurt either of them." Meanwhile Scully and Tara had settled down on the couch in the living room. Matthew was lying with his head on his mother's shoulder, a little grumpy and half asleep. Scully had Little Miss settled in the crook of one arm while the other hand searched for a bottle in the bag they'd brought. "Dana, I'm sorry about what Bill said. I mean, I know he's my husband, but I just can't agree with him on this," Tara said softly. Scully didn't speak for a moment. Little Miss had grabbed the bottle and was now greedily drinking from it. Tenderly, Scully smoothed a lock of the girl's hair from her forehead. "I can't remember how many times I've told Bill that none of this is Mulder's fault." Scully paused and looked up at her sister-in-law. "What do you believe?" Tara considered the question. "The first I heard of Fox, I mean, Mulder, was that he was causing all these terrible things in your life. Of course, then I hadn't met him. But when he came down when you found--" Tara cut herself off, realizing her slip of tongue. "When I found Emily," Scully finished for her. Tara nodded. "He was just so warm, and completely supportive of you." Tara gave a short laugh. "I couldn't help but like him. I tried not to, but..." Scully smiled. "He has that effect on people," she said fondly. "He certainly does," Maggie's voice suddenly cut into the conversation. She was carrying a small tray with three cups of tea on it. She settled it on the coffee table before sitting in the chair opposite. "So," she said, taking in the scene with a smile. "I don't have any single children left." Scully glanced up, a blush tinting her cheeks. "I'm sorry. It was rather impulsive of us." "Oh dear, I'm not angry. I was beginning to think that you and Fox would never realize how much you love each other. You're just one surprise after another today," Maggie said good-naturedly. Scully shook her head. "You and Melissa. Missy always used to tell me how blind I was for not seeing the way he looked at me." "You were," Maggie and Tara said at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled. Scully raised her eyebrows. "You two too?" "I thought I was imagining it at first," Tara admitted. "I mean, he's your partner after all, and partners are supposed to have a close bond. Then Maggie and I got to talking." Scully smiled. She wasn't used to this sort of girl talk, though she found she wasn't minding it. "He's half my soul and owns the rest," she admitted almost shyly. On the other side of the house, Bill was still close to yelling at Mulder. "Then what about this sham marriage, huh?" Throughout the entire conversation Mulder had managed to keep his cool but at that point he let the anger seep into his voice. "Sham marriage?" Bill shook the marriage certificate he still held in his hand. "This is signed by a John Fitzgerald Byers as a witness! You want me to believe bullshit like that?" Mulder had to laugh. "My friend. That's his name. He was named for the president, yes, but what does that have to do with anything, Bill? You're being ridiculous." "What's ridiculous is you marrying my sister without asking her family first. It's all very suspicious to me. If you love her so much, why didn't you do it before?" Bill asked fiercely. Mulder's eyes flashed. "I have never needed a piece of paper to tell me how much I love your sister. We did this for our daughter, so that we can have a better chance at adopting her." Mulder took a deep breath before allowing himself to continue. "Now I know, when you look at her, you only see that she's half me. But this little girl is as much Sc--" Mulder paused and corrected himself. "Dana's child as she is mine. For that reason, if none other, can't you at least accept her?" In the living room, Little Miss had escaped her mother's lap and was now crawling around, interested in the bright ball she saw in the corner. "Have you talked about names?" Tara asked, watching Matthew's eyes follow the little girl. He also wiggled down out of her arms and bounded after Little Miss. "Matthew, share." Matthew made a face at the dreaded word but nodded. Scully gave a laugh. "Names, names. With everything we have to do we haven't had a chance to talk names yet," Scully paused, running her tongue over her lips. "Maybe we don't want to...we've already gotten so attached, but we don't even know if they'll let us adopt her yet." "Oh Dana, honey," Maggie said, reaching out to take her daughter's hand. "It'll be all right, you'll see." "God, I hope so," Scully murmured, squeezing her mother's comforting hand. The moment between mother and daughter was broken by a booming voice. "Just where do you think you're going?" The women had been so involved in talking that they didn't notice Matthew get up, Little Miss crawling right at his heels. Thankfully Mulder and Bill had spotted them before they had a chance to go far. They entered the room, Matthew in Bill's arms and Little Miss in Mulder's. "I was going to take her out to the swing," Matthew explained innocently. Bill chuckled. "You were, were you?" Matthew nodded. Then he scrunched up his face. "Who is she anyway?" he asked, suddenly curious. Collectively, the adults all held their breath, as if wondering what Bill would say. Even Bill looked uncertain for a moment. "She's your cousin," he said finally, softly. Across the room, Scully smiled From: Jedi Shipper Author's Notes: Ok. This part would contain what Adrienne would like to call Quasi-Smut. I am such a tease, but don't worry young ones... nothing even of Titanic proportions. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Can this be true? Tell me can this be real? How can I put into words what I feel? My life was complete I thought I was whole Why do I feel like I'm losing control?" God Must Have Spent A Little More Time on You - N Sync ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sponsalia 3/3 Reluctantly, they brought Little Miss back to the Child's Care facility. Mrs. Hunt had been very gracious, allowing them to carry her up to her crib, tuck her in gently, and simply watch her sleep for as long as they wanted. Finally they were back at front of the door to her apartment. Scully seemed lost in thought as Mulder slid the key in the lock. He paused just before he opened the door. "Mulder!" Scully was startled out of her reverie as Mulder suddenly swept her up in his arms. Her hands flailed before finding a grip on his coat, and then settled around his neck when surprise wore off. "What are you doing?" "In case you hadn't noticed, I married you today. Now I have to carry you across a threshold," Mulder said simply, edging the door open with his foot. Scully smiled, her eyes shinning. "Since when do you follow the rules?" "I only follow the rules I like. Those unspoken rules like never look anywhere but forward at the urinals, never use an electrical appliance in a bathtub, and of course, never consort with a female agent in a motel room," he said, eyebrows waggling playfully. "Mulder...you broke that rule. Many times, to my recollection," Scully said, still smiling. Mulder knitted his eyebrows as if trying to remember. "Oh yeah," he said slowly. "Oh well, some rules just need to be broken." Scully only smiled as she tilted her head to him. He took the invitation of her lips kissing her gently as he carried her across the threshold. Their kiss deepened when he did not set her down. He carried her to the couch where he sat, Scully on his lap, her lips still against his and her hands tangled in his hair. Mulder's hands traced up and down her body, sending delicious shivers down her back. As he untucked her shirt from her pants, Scully fumbled at the buttons of his shirt. Mulder slid his hands under her shirt and trailed kisses from her mouth the hollow of her neck. Scully tilted her head back, letting out a soft moan when Mulder's hands teased the lace edge of her bra. He retraced kisses back over her jaw, up the side of her face until he reached her ear. "Do you know how much I love you?" he asked against her fragrant skin. Then he suddenly stopped, his hands falling down to her waist again. He pulled back away from her slightly, a strange look crossing his face. "Mulder? What is it?" she asked, a little breathless. He was silent for a moment before smiling. "Lets name her Laura," he said in a voice that held an almost little-boyish quality to it. "Laura?" Scully repeated. She liked the way it sounded. "Why Laura?" Mulder bit his lower lip through his smile. "Because...then I could say we named her after her mother and my last wife, before you of course. It will confuse the hell out of people....sweetheart," he said with an eyebrow lift. It had the intended affect of reminding her of their visit to Arcadia. She made a face at the term of endearment, sounding as strange now as it had then. Scully allowed the smile that tugged at her lips to spread across her face. "Fox Mulder, you've gone soft," she teased gently. Then, laying her head on his shoulder, she said, "I think it's lovely." "I think you're lovely," his breath came hot against her ear and she chuckled. "You know Scully, they say once you have kids your sex life goes down the toilet." "Hmmm," she said, still not lifting her head from his shoulder. "What are you trying to say, Agent Mulder?" He didn't reply at first, just let his hands again slip beneath her clothing. "Well, I am definitely not suggesting we curl up on the sofa like little baby cats." Scully sat up, shifting so that she was kneeling, straddling Mulder's lap. "That doesn't quite answer my question," she said quietly, again unbuttoning his shirt, agonizingly slow. He ran his hands over her shapely thighs under her skirt. "You're a smart lady, Scully. What do people usually do on their wedding night?" Scully dipped her head to kiss his ear, her hand tracing lazy circles through the sprinkle of hair on his chest. Mulder moved his hands up to her neck, pulling her head down to his lips so he could kiss her, taste her. "I don't know...do you think this what people do on their wedding nights?" Scully asked breathlessly between kisses. Mulder smiled, nodding. "Yeah this...and then some." They continued to kiss long into the night...and then some. ******* Scully's eyes opened to the early dawn light streaming in her window and the secure feeling of Mulder's chest pressed against her back. He was awake, she knew, because he was gently running his fingers through her hair, nuzzling his chin into the silky red strands. She rolled over to face him. "Hi," she said, with an unusual, almost shy quality to her voice. It was, after all, the morning after their first night together as a married couple, and while nothing had changed from all the mornings they'd woken together in the past, this morning simply *felt* different. "Morning, Sunshine," he said, his voice carrying the same quality as hers. "We should get up. We have a lot to do today," she said reluctantly. He pouted, then sighed. "I had the strangest dream last night," he said, seemingly choosing to ignore her earlier comment. Scully decided to let it pass. "What about?" He screwed up his face, remembering. "I had a teenage daughter and son...but it wasn't me. I mean, it was me but it was someone else. Anyway, I was just screwing up every which way. I called them by the wrong name, I didn't know what to say when the girl asked me for a nose ring...actually I thought she meant plastic surgery..." Mulder was about to continue but Scully put a hand over his mouth, eyebrows furrowed. "Mulder, are you on drugs?" She didn't wait for his answer, shaking her head softly. "Look, you're just scared...you were thrown into this situation just as much as I was." "Yeah but...I don't know, Scully. Just how good of a father can I be?" he shuddered. "That dream, those teenage kids, terrified me." Scully chuckled. "Mulder, right now I would be more worried about changing a diaper then teenage angst." She had to stop herself from laughing as Mulder turned a distinct shade of green. "Besides," she said, placing her head on his chest again, "you are going to be a wonderful father." "Am I?" he asked, stroking her hair lightly. "Some people sure don't think so." She sighed lightly. "Mulder, you didn't think you'd make a good partner, but here we are, 8 years later, still able to work with each other. You didn't think you could ever make me happy, but I am happier with you then I've ever been in my life. You're a fast learner." She rolled over to face him. "Mulder, we made this world safe for everyone else's children, so they could grow up without fear. Why not for our own child?" He said nothing as he linked his hand with hers, but in the silence an unspoken promise could be heard clearly. Together, they could do anything. ********** It was hard on both of them, the trial, bringing up memories they would have rather forgotten about. Scully's cancer was only in remission; that meant it could come back. Where would Mulder and the baby be then? Mulder had not grown up in the most loving of homes. His mother had killed herself and his father had been murdered. What kind of an example could he possibly set? And then there was that whole matter of him being put in the mental ward, tied down because of his violent behavior. Their case had benefited from Skinner's efforts, as he put the support of the FBI behind the unusual circumstances surrounding Mulder and Scully's lives. He also had pointed out that although they admittedly held dangerous jobs, they had only gone out in the field once in the past three months. They were currently assigned to special projects that would keep them in the DC area all year round, save for a case every few months. It was with baited breath that Mulder and Scully waited for the judge's answer. Had they come this far only to lose their little girl? "I am worried about the amount of time the both of you have spent in various hospitals for the past few years...and I must admit I am still not clear on how you two conceived a child you knew nothing about for the first nine months of her life," judge started. Scully's heart began to fall as Mulder tightened his grip on her hand. "However," the judge said, pausing as he smiled, "I see no reason why you should miss any more of your daughter's life. I hereby grant full custody of the child to her biological parents." Scully let out a long, happy breath as Mulder's arms wrapped around her. They held each other tightly, tears of joy slipping down both their cheeks. "Thank you, sir," Mulder said as all three rose. The judge smiled again, shaking Mulder's hand and Scully's in turn. "Good luck Mr. Mulder, Mrs. Mulder." He didn't seem to notice Scully flinch at the title. She turned and gave a happy grin to her husband. Hand in hand, they walked out the door to where their family waited. ********* Laura Michelle Mulder came home to a warm, welcoming extended family, each baring a gift for her. She gurgled and giggled merrily as she was passed from lap to lap, chewing on a soft plush bear that had been a gift from Skinner. She fell asleep mid-afternoon in her brand new crib. The Gunmen's gift, a viewing screen with brightly colored plastic buttons, hung by her so that she could play with it when she woke every morning. It really was a piece of art. Each of the easily compressed buttons would make a sound and a picture appear on the screen. On the back was a place where you could change the chips. So far they had a farm scene, Disney characters, and one with fun shapes. Finally, everyone said their good-byes, leaving the new parents to watch over Laura, who had by now awakened again. Scully wondered, as she watched Laura playing with her new toys, what it would have been like to give birth to her. She imagined that she would have known automatically what was going on when she woke up nauseated and barely made it to the toilet on time to empty the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. She could picture perfectly the look that Mulder would have given her when she told him. His eyes would have gone wide as the flying saucers he chased and a cat would have had ahold on his tongue like it was filled with the world's best cat-nip. But then he would have smiled. A smile like a ray of sunshine cutting through even the darkest of days. Vivid scenes flashed through her mind: shopping with her mother for baby things, buying oversize clothing, and listening to the endless advice that can only come from a woman who'd been through it not once, but four times. Mulder would probably hover even more than usual, protective to the point of driving her crazy. No doubt he would try his best to get her everything she craved, teasing her about dipping pickles into Rocky Road ice cream. She could almost hear him saying, "Forget liver and onions, I bet this is what they eat on Recticula." "Don't forget the sunflower seeds," she'd have reminded him. But she would have drawn the line when the crooning of Elvis could be heard through the headphones he'd place over her swollen belly. "Scully," he would have argued, "I read that the baby can hear after the first trimester. Music is good!" Scully had never really liked The King much. She wondered what it would be like to feel her child grow inside of her, to listen to her heartbeat through the stethoscope. She'd gladly bear all the physical discomforts of pregnancy to hear that sound. And then the day her beautiful little girl was born, what would that have been like? Mulder would have been as jumpy and nervous as an elephant on ball bearings. But he would hold her through the worst of the pain, put ice cubes to her dry, cracked lips, and tenderly smooth that pesky strand of hair away from her sweaty forehead. She wondered what it would have been like to hold her precious baby girl, crying and red-faced, after nine months of pregnancy and hours of labor pains. She knew she would have been crying. Mulder probably would be too as he put his protective arm around her, holding both of them tightly. He would tell her that even though little Laura was still slimy and Scully still sweaty that it was the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Those memories would never be hers to have. They had been killed completely all those years ago. But for the first time since she found out she was barren, she wasn't bitter. "All the time we missed," Mulder's whispered voice brought her back to the real world. "Her first Christmas, her first tooth, the first time she sat up on her own...." Scully was surprised to find that her eyes were tearing up again. "But we don't have to miss another first Mulder. Never again." There was so much that had been taken from her, from the both of them. But she had, in that moment, more than she could ever have asked for: a wonderful husband who loved her to the ends of the earth and back, a beautiful daughter--the family she thought she'd never have. Mulder twined his fingers with hers, laughing as Laura tried to climb to her feet and then fell back down on her diapered bottom. "Never again," he agreed. ~~~~Fini~~~~~ The song in the first part is called...appropriately, Laura, which is strange since I had named the little girl before I found the song. I've never heard it, but it's on the soundtrack of Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Feedback is lived upon, begged for and craved. Heck, I'd even take a flame...the fire place isn't working tonight. ;-)