From: "Sam Brownlie" Date: Tue, 11 Jul 2000 19:34:57 PDT Subject: 'Stay With Me' by Samantha Brownlie Source: direct Title: Stay With Me Author: Samantha Brownlie Spoilers: None Rating: NC-13 Keywords: Angst Summary: Mulder's thoughts as he lies wounded, and certain that he is dying. Disclaimer: Mulder & Scully aren't mine, but they like to come and play sometimes. I don't make any money from them and always give them back when I'm finished. 'Stay With Me' (1/1) ******************************************************** Scully. Scully, don't leave me. Don't leave me lying here alone, trapped, unable to move. Don't leave me lying here with your jacket draped across my chest, feeling my blood trickling from my body. Don't leave me alone. I don't want to die alone. You're all I have, the only one I trust, the only one who never lied to me. Don't fail me now. Don't let me die alone. You're back. I should have trusted you, should have known you wouldn't let me leave this life without your hand in mine. Thank you. Thank you for being there. Thank you for holding me now. Thank you for the pressure you put on my wound, though I know it won't work. Thank you for saying my name over and over, for telling me I will be all right. Deep down, I know you're lying - for the first time, I think - but I don't feel betrayed. You're doing what you have to do. Comforting me. I don't know if I'll die before the ambulance comes, or after, but promise me that you'll stay with me. *Promise me*. Don't let me die alone in the back of a jolting vehicle, impersonal attendants trying to resuscitate me just because it's their job. That's not how I want to die. Funny, I always figured I didn't want to die at all, but right now I guess all that matters is dying *right*. Dying as I have lived these past few years - with you beside me. I never did get round to telling you what you mean to me, did I? Now it's too late. But you know, don't you? You know that I trust you with my life, that you mean everything to me even though I can't always show it like I want to. You must know how much I need you. Even now. Especially now. What are you doing? Why do you keep doing that? There's no point, Scully. No point trying to save me now. Just sit with me. Be with me. Hold my hand and tell me you'll miss me. Tell me it's okay, that there's nothing to be afraid of. Tell me I'm going to a better place, a place where all this pain and uncertainty will go away. Tell me I'll see you there one day, when you've lived a long and happy life. Tell me you'll remember. Stay with me. Stay with me, Scully. Stay with me.