From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 8 Jan 2002 17:38:04 -0000 Subject: Stay with me by Jessica Source: direct Reply To: j_rothen@yahoo.se Title: Stay with me Author: Jessica ( j_rothen@yahoo.se ) Rating: PG Category: MSR/RST Spoiler: Pilot, Duane Barry, Ascension, One Breath Summary: Mulder sitting by Scully's bedside. Disclaimer: The X-files, Mulder and Scully belong to FOX and they are not mine. Note: English is not my first language so spelling/ grammar mistake may occur. He was losing her. He could feel it with every breath he took. Fox Mulder couldn't sleep. The only thing he saw when he closed his eyes was her pale face. He had been by her side since that day they had found her. Powerless he had sat there starring at her face wanting,praying to see her smiling back at him. But days had pasted by and he could feel her slipping away from him with every hour that pasted. Dana Scully had entered his life like a soft breeze. He remembered so clearly that day she had stepped into his office. He had never thought that she would come to be his closest friend. She had brought light into his life and opened his eyes to another life,a life with love. She had stood by his side and been his friend when he needed it most. She had been there when no other would. He had failed to save her. The knowledge that he hadn't been able to save her from Duane Barry caused him such pain. He wanted to kill him when he finally got him in the same room. It took all his strength not to reach out and squeeze the life out of the man who had taken Scully away from him. But she was gone. He had searched for her in every way that was possible. But she remained missing. During those months he had walked around like a ghost. He had lost a piece of himself that day when she went away. But she had left something behind. Her gold-cross. Now he wore it around his neck. He wanted to be close to her just a little. When night fell he prayed to god to bring her back to him. One day his prayers had been heard. When he had gotten the call that they had found her a stone fell from his heart. But when he first saw her a big hole was ripped up inside of him. He had gotten her back just to find she was in coma. She was standing on the edge of life. He wanted to fight for her, just do something to wipe away the fear that had a hold of his heart. Mulder kissed the palm of her hand, closed his eyes and whispered: - Don't leave me. Her hand felt so cold. It was nothing he could do to save her. She was drifting farther and farther away from him. He leaned his cheek against the softness of her hand and prayed to god to bring her back to him. The pain of the thought of losing her struck his heart with such force that he almost couldn't breath. Doctors had come and said there where not much they could do. But he wouldn't give up on her. She was the last good thing still remaining in his life and he would cling to that as long as possible. As the nights turned into day he still remained by her side. His whole body ached after hours in the same chair, but he wouldn't leave her. Mrs. Scully came and prayed with him. She had been by his side during these months. He had held her when she had cried after her daughter. - You know, she couldn't stop talking about you.... Mulder looked up and said: - What do you mean? Mrs. Scully smiled and said: - After that day when she started working with you she hasn't been able to stop talking about you. She talks about you like you were some kind of hero. He was no hero. A hero wouldn't let his partner be abducted and a hero wouldn't be afraid of telling what was in his heart. He was a coward, a weak man. - She used to say that she owed you her life. That you had saved her life more times than she ever could repay. He just sat there starring at Scully's pale face. - She owes me nothing. - She had that glow when she talked about you.... You know, the glow of somebody who is in love. He couldn't breath. - She loves you so much.... He couldn't take this. He got up in such of a hurry that he almost knocked over the chair. - She can't love me.... He wasn't worthy of her love. He was a bad person. He had let them take her...He had lost her... Maggie Scully saw such pain in Mulders eyes that she wanted to take him in her arms. This was the man who had taken her daughters heart. - I'm not one of the good guys. I lie and cheat. I have killed people for god sake! Fear had a hold of his heart and was pulling him under. Happiness was in his grasp and he was afraid of reaching out to take it. He had known so much heartache in his life that he knew his heart couldn't take much more. He was afraid of take that step into thin air. - I couldn't save her. I couldn't even save my own sister.... He was crying now. Maggie Scully walked slowly up to Mulder, looked him straight into his eyes and said: - You love her... She already knew the answer. She could see it in his eyes. - I'm not a good person! She deserves someone who can make her happy. Everything that has happen to her is my fault. Maggie tried to take him into his arms but he refused. - I'm the one who is responsible for her lying there, he shouted and pointed towards Scully's bed. His dark eyes were filled with tears. - I'm the one who they call "Spooky"! I'm the one who chases aliens. I'm the one who has caused her all this pain. My stupid crusade has been for nothing! I have no answers to my questions, just more questions.... - Nothing of this is your fault... Mrs. Scully ached when she saw the pain in his eyes. - Yes it is! I caused her this.... It should be me in that bed... - I know my daughter. She wouldn't blame you for anything. And neither do I... He closed his eyes. - You love her as much as she loves you... - Of course I do. What did you expect? I love her more than life itself. I would walk through fire for her. Maggie Scully took Mulder in her arms and whispered softly words of comfort. Outside the window rain kept on falling. Two days later It had taken days but finally Scully was back among the living. As Mulder entered the room they had taken her to after she had come out of the coma his heart were racing. She was sitting up in bed when he came in. She was still pale as ghost but she was back. She greeted him with such a beautiful smile. - Glad to see your up, he said. Maggie Scully were standing beside her daughter's bed. Mulder smiled at her and walked over to Scully and took her in his arms. It felt like a big rock fell from his heart. She would be ok. He had gotten a second chance. He squeezed her tighter and whispered in her ear: - I'm glad to have you back. Scully loved to feel his arms around her. Mulder let her go. - I had the strength of your belief. In that moment he knew that somehow and in some way they would be okay. When he took of the gold-cross that had given him such relief during those months and gave it back to Scully he vowed that he never would let her slip away. Not again. Not ever. And as he leaned down to kiss her cheek he knew he was destined to love her until the day he took his final breath. / FEEDBACK PLEASE -----j_rothen@yahoo.se