From: YRLD43A@prodigy.com ( PATTY HAYES) Date: Sun, 9 Nov 1997 23:45:02, -0500 Subject: Sun Behind the Clouds 1/3 by Olivia S. I did not write this. Any feedback can be sent to or I will be happy to pass it along. The author is a new one from Rome and deserves a look. ;) Classifications: X, S, T, A. Spoilers: Memento Mori and slight allusions to the Pilot,Tooms and Never Again. Ratings: G Summary: A search for true friendship. Autors Note: I'm neither American nor English. I hope you'll forgive me for eventual mistakes and inaccuracies and you'll send me your opinions about this work, either bad or good. You can e-mail me at: severini@atmosf.ifa.rm.cnr.it Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the television program "The X-Files" belong to Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting and Ten Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringements are intended. Please, send feedback! ******************** SUN BEHIND CLOUDS (1/3) By Olivia Severini severini@atmos.ifa.rm.cnr.it October 30, 1997 ******************** Locust Grove (Ohio) 10th June 1997 A great cloud dimmed the sun, giving the summer sky a dusty appearance. The park was still and silent. "Are you going to the party?" Asked the man. "No, I'm not." Replied the young woman, approaching to the ducks' pool. Of course the man followed her. He followed her everywhere. "Why not?" A little white duck picked some bread crumbs from her hand, making her smile in amusement. "Why not, Julia? It's because of William, isn't it?" "No, it isn't. There is a good horror film on tv tomorrow night, and I'm going to watch it." She could hear his presence behind her shoulder. The man added nothing, but they both knew she had just lied. ***** Locust Grove High School 11th June 1997 The boy's body laid on the tiled floor. He had evidently been knocked against the wall while he was taking a shower, so there wasn't a lot of blood around. But that naked body, the unnatural position of the head and the eyes similar to blue marbles for a brief moment made Mulder regret the old fashioned murderers that at least secured themselves to leave blood everywhere. *Blood is always the same. Red, sticky and brilliant, it covers each death in the same way. But this boy isn't very different from those that just a few hours ago have to be in this place. He seems to have only a broken nose and an astonished expression, as if his best friend had just dealt a blow on his face.* While such thoughts crossed Mulder's mind, another part of him, a thousand miles away, was checking the body, searching for fingerprints and speaking with possible witnesses. That was the most hated side of his work, the side that frightened him the most. Not death itself, but the possibility to find himself one day in front of the body of a nineteen year old boy feeling nothing. "Mulder?" The voice from behind his shoulders made him jump. He was bent over the body and, turning abruptly, he nearly lost his balance. Scully was afraid he'd fall over the boy, but luckily her partner's reflexes were good and he got off by placing a hand on the floor. She lightly raised one eyebrow, offering him her hand as help. Her offer was ignored. "What?" Answered Mulder, rising by himself. "I've just talked with the boy's coach. He had kept him after the habitual practice in order to discuss some schemes of play, then, seeing that he didn't return from the shower, he began to worry. He came here and found the body." "And wasn't anybody else?" Asked Mulder. Scully sighed. "The coach said that, while William was showering, another man entered the dressing room; but he never saw him leave." "And there aren't any windows in the dressing room." Concluded Mulder, turning again toward the body. "I think that this is an attempt by the coach to throw the suspicion on someone else, Mulder." "Hum, hum. It may be. And what about the note? A silly attempt to tint a nineteen year old murder with a note of culture?" Scully opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came to her lips. She was tired and the only thing she desired was to be again under the sunlight of that bright morning. "In any case, Scully, you'll have to do an autopsy on this body." Continued Mulder. "As soon as possible. Meanwhile I'll check the handwriting of the note found near the body, comparing it with the coach's one." ************************* Green Sky Motel (Locust Grove) 11th June 1997 A handful of hours later Mulder was still checking the note by staring at it. A stupid piece of paper wrote with a fluttering handwriting that of course, wasn't the coach's one. 'Stupidity, delusion, selfishness and lust torment our bodies and possess our minds, and we sustain our affable remorse the way a beggar nourishes his lice.' It was a Baudelaire's passage taken from 'The Flowers of Evil'. Just like in the previous murder. Verses of hate, grudge, contempt... "Mulder?" "The door's open!" Mulder's voice was lightly distorted by a fistful of sunflower seeds. Scully entered her partner's office with the report of the autopsy in her hands. "William Bragg is dead of a cerebral commotion. Deducing from the bruises on his face, his head had been crushed against the wall repeatedly, but there isn't much more to say, also because the water of the shower deleted every trace of fingerprints and...Are you listening to me?" "Yes." Mulder was trying to centre an empty glass with the shells of sunflowers seeds. "What do we know about the previous victim?" "Jennifer Cole, eighteen years old, same school of William Bragg, strangled with a wire after a date with a guy that looked like the one seen entering the dressing room where the second victim was found. At the scene, they found more of Baudelaire's passages: 'Here is a woman, richly clad and fair, who in her wine dips her long, heavy hair; love's claws, and that sharp poison which is sin, are dulled against the granite of her skin.' "Was she pretty?" "What?" "Doesn't matter. Nobody can tell us anything else about this guy? We only knew that he was tall with black hair, but perhaps by speaking with some of Jennifer's friends..." Said he, quickly adjusting the knot of his tie. "Mulder, what are you thinking about?" "The note was written by the same hand who wrote the one found near the girl's body, Scully. We have to find who wrote these. You coming? " Her partner was already on the threshold of the room. Scully close her eyes. "Of course." What else could she do? ************************* All that Mulder was able to obtain about the mysterious murderer was that Jennifer met him at a party and that his name was Alex. None of her friends seemed to know him, even by sight. "Scully, I think that this man's purpose was to punish his victims for their vanity. Jennifer Cole had won some beauty contests and she was very popular among boys, while William Bragg was the captain of the basket team of his school; brilliant, extrovert, handsome. And the verses are a clear and scorned allusion to these features." "So we have to search for a tall, black haired man with a deep hate for brilliant and winning boys and able to disappear in dressing rooms." Remarked Scully. She only wanted to lighten the tension, but her partner misunderstood her intentions. "You still suspect the coach, don't you?" Mulder provoked her. "No, I don't...I'm simply tired, Mulder." Scully saw him set his lips and press his hands around the wheel for a brief moment. Again she felt guilty for all this; for being sick, for that wall rising between them and even guilty for Mulder's haughty behaviour. She'd betrayed him and now he was trying to defend himself against her. "Are you ok?" Asked Mulder, without diverting his eye from the street in front of him. "I'm fine." She replied, playing again her role. ************************* Green Sky Motel 12th June 1997 - 7:05 am The next morning, Mulder left his motel room and noticed something on the windshield of his car. He found a little piece of paper under the wipers. The message, written in block letters was far from the poetic notes left by the murderer and informed him of the name of the next victim. He had to inform Scully. He was about to knock at her motel door, when his mind returned on her words. *I'm simply tired, Mulder.* Of what exactly? He'd spent a good part of the night trying to answer to this question, and when the answer came, it had kept him awake till morning. She was tired of him, of this work, of this life. But she was also physically tired. And this last matter frightened him the most. Because he could do nothing, he couldn't fight against this. She was going to leave him. It was only seven in the morning, his partner needed rest and he needed still a little time to reorganise his thoughts. He would visit Mrs Kable alone. ************************* Mrs Kable residence 12th June - 8:15 am The third potential victim, Angela Kable, was an horrible fifty years old maid. Mulder had awaken her and this allowed him to see the woman in her worst mood, as well as in a her night clothes. After briefly considering the possibility of telling the unfriendly woman something like: "I've just found an anonymous note claiming that you'll be the invisible man's next victim.", Mulder decided to justify his visit by asking her some question about the two previous victims. She didn't know them, but this didn't prevent her from improvising a long monologue about vices and lack of ideals of modern youth. Three quarters of an hour later, Mulder left Mrs. Kable's house. He was exhausted, but strongly determined to protect the woman from a safe distance. He parked the car on the opposite side of the street and had just begun to search for a decent broadcasting station, when his phone rang. "Mulder, it's me." "Good morning" "Where are you?" "Inside the car" Scully strived to count to ten before speaking again. "This was a possibility that I'd considered. Now, would you like to use your car to come here and pick up me, please?" "I'm sorry Scully, but at the moment I can't. You know, I'm keeping an eye on the house of a potential next victim. But I'm not very far from our Motel, perhaps you could reach me on foot." This time she had to count up to twenty. "On foot. And how did you find this potential victim?" "Someone left me a note with her name and her address, but I'll tell you everything when I see you." Somewhere in his mind, a weak voice tried to suggest him that he was acting in a terrible way, but for the moment it was quite simple to hush. "If it's not too much of a bother, can you at least give me the address?" *I'm simply tired, Mulder.* Scully reached Mulder in half an hour and they spent the whole morning waiting for something to happen. Around noon Scully went out, more to kill the boredom that to satisfy her stomach, to buy a couple of sandwiches. When she came back to the car, Mulder was running toward Mrs Kable's house. She tossed the bag through the open window and, drawing out her gun, she followed him. When she crossed the threshold of the tiny house, a shrill scream struck her ears. Then a gunshot. They both came from upstairs. Winning the impulse to cry out her partner's name, Scully rushed along the stairs and reached what had to be Mrs. Kable's bedroom. Here she found Mulder bent over a woman lying on the floor, trying to revive her. "Call an ambulance, Scully! He tried to smother her with a pillow." He said, as soon as he noticed her. "What..." Scully began to say, then she drew her phone and did what Mulder had suggested, while her eye followed him running out of the room. ***** Rawen residence 12th June - 12:30 am The girl's hand squeezed the edge of her baggy shirt. He was gone. A hornet came out from a daisy bush and played dangerously near her nose, making her decide to rise to her feet. By now no one would have taken her into account. She had failed again. The only thing that she could still hope was that she would be the only one to pay for her error. Too many times other people had paid for her; for her weakness toward life. Nevertheless she hadn't killed anybody, had she? She was no longer sure of this. At least not as sure as she was in the beginning. Perhaps because now she had learned that there were a lot of ways to kill someone. An ambulance drew up at the opposite side of the street. Was she dead? Waiting to see the paramedics emerge from Mrs. Kable's door, Julia took a deep breath. White glittering clouds stood out against the blue sky, indifferent to her anguish. She would have hated them for this, but she couldn't. They were too wonderful. At least her friend wouldn't be angry with them, she thought, an absent grin crossing her lips. However, few moments later, the sight of her neighbour lying on a stretcher, made her grin stifle. A little crowd was assembled around the ambulance, preventing her from knowing if the woman was still alive. She had to get closer. Crossing the street, Mrs. Kable's harsh voice came to her ears. She was quarrelling with the Fbi agent. Julia grinned again. That woman had to have a remarkable patience to deal with a just assaulted Angela Kable! Would that woman, together with her partner, be able to deal also with her and above all to believe her story? It was what Julia needed to know. ***** Scully's phone rang, allowing her to take a pause from the woman's noisy chattering. She was glad to hear Mulder's voice, first because it meant that he was fine and then because the atmosphere inside that ambulance was becoming hard to bear. "Scully, It's me." "Where are you?" "It's the second time that you ask me the same question today. Aren't you getting a little anxious?" Scully could almost see his Mulder-grin. "Very funny, Mulder. I'm only curious to know if your position is better than mine." She replied, glancing at Mrs. Kable to make sure that she couldn't hear her. The woman was quarrelling with a paramedic about the hospital where they were taking her. "I cannot complain about my position, Scully. I'm together with a nice girl. What about Mrs Kable?" Scully rose an eyebrow. "A girl? Mulder, I'll never understand you. In any case Mrs Kable is fine, we are taking her to the hospital just for a check." "What did she tell you?" "Why do you ask what you already know? She told me that a black haired man entered her bedroom and tried to choke her with a pillow. Then she doesn't remember anything, since she fainted." Mulder's voice began suddenly earnest. "Scully, I shot at him and I clearly saw the bullet reach his shoulder. But all he did was to look straight in my eye for a moment, and then disappear across the open window, as quick as lightning. I tried to follow him, but..." "Perhaps you didn't wound him seriously and he simply succeeded in sowing you." "Perhaps. In any case there is someone that wants to talk with us. Can you reach me at the motel as soon as possible?" "Yes, I'll leave as soon as we reach the hospital. Then I'll meet you and your pretty girl." "I'll be waiting for you" Mulder said, smiling. ***** Putting his cell phone back into the inner pocket of his coat, Mulder's eye fell upon the girl that occupied the seat next to him. She was sitting on the edge of the seat, pretending to take attention of the familiar winding little streets beyond the window. But from the look on her face, Mulder realized that she was clearly unconfortable. He had a lot of questions to ask her, but a kind of instinctive sympathy made him choose to postpone any sort of formal procedure. "What about some music?" He suggested, turning on the radio in the rented Ford. Somewhere in his mind, he aimed to bring back the amused look that he had fleetingly discerned when he was joking with Scully moments ago. Julia looked at him with astonishment. "What?" She had answered without thinking, but this didn't prevent her from feeling terribly silly. Mulder watched her divert her glance from her knees and with a slight smile, he began to search for something up beat . He stopped when he found the Beach Boys singing I Get Around. "Very sunny." He remarked, "It kind of makes me regret not wearing my surfing outfit!" She smiled, still a little wondered. He was quite different from the idea that she had of a federal agents! Meanwhile, they arrived at the motel, which, it seemed, was the only ugly building of that pretty town. Julia followed Mulder in the deserted hall and sat in front of him on a dusty easy chair. Her look dwelled on a gaudy old advertising poster with which someone had tried to give a note of colour to that dreary place. Mulder looked at her inquiringly. "I was only wondering why in films the Fbi agents lodges in wonderful hotels." Explained Julia, absent minded. This time was Mulder's turn to show a note of surprise on his face. "As a matter of fact, my partner and I find ourselves lodged in motels that look like the rough copy of that in Psycho nine times out of ten." Said Mulder after a short pause. "I bet that the owner of this place is called Norman" This time Julia couldn't help smiling openly, while all her anxiety slowly left her body, making room for a slight hope. ***** Green Sky Motel 12th June - 1:10 PM Entering the place, Scully immediately noticed Mulder, grinning at the one that was supposed to be 'his pretty girl'. Moved by a mixture of curiosity and exasperation, she quickly approached them. "Hi Scully, this is Julia Rawen." Said Mulder, as soon as she reached them. He seemed to be a little embarrassed. The girl rose on her feet to shake Scully's hand. Scully hailed her in her best professional tone, then she sat near Mulder. A moment of unpleasant silence made her feel like a parent that returns home suddenly, spoiling his son's party. But all this was simply absurd and, with a quick glance, she let Mulder know that she wanted to know what was happening. Of course Mulder recognised that glance. "Miss Rawen approached me when I came back to Mrs. Kable's house, shortly after the ambulance left. She claims to know the man that tried to kill Angela Kable." He explained in a flat voice. Scully just shifted her inquiring glance on Julia. The girl could clearly feel the tension waving in the still air of that old motel and breaking against her body. She had the idea that what she was going to say wouldn't break the tension at all. Suddenly she realized that she was to relate a story, one that even an open mind would have considered incredible to two government agents and a cold dread began to take possession of her. It was the kind of anguish she used to experience at school before a hard test. Wishing that the feeling hadn't already elbowed it away, she desperately searched for a trace of that hope found a short time ago; and when she recognised it in the sympathetic glance of the man in front of her, Julia decided that she could try to begin her story. At least because at the moment she wasn't able to think of a suitable alternative. "The man you are searching for is called Alex." She lowered her eye and swallowed hardly. "I'm sure of this, because this is the name I gave him. It was the name of a brave and charming English soldier, took from one of my favourite books." Scully opened her mouth to say something, but Mulder gave her a little nod of dissent. She briefly turned towards him and, meeting a deeply interested look, raised an eyebrow. Nevertheless Mulder didn't notice it; his attention was centred again on the girl's words. "I don't know how to define him exactly, but I think that by now he's almost a man. You can believe this or not, but the guy that killed William and Jennifer and tried to do the same thing with Mrs Kable is born from my mind. Everything had begun almost four years ago, when, during an hard period, I started to build a so called imaginary friend. I never actually talked with him, but I simply began to fantasize a real friend, ready to stay always at my side and to understand me." Julia paused again, and Mulder couldn't help glancing at Scully. He didn't need an imaginary friend. "Then, he began to become real. I can't say how long ago this incredible process started, the only thing I know is that it's still going on. I fear that in a short time I'll lose every influence on him and then..." Scully took advantage of the break to speak. "What do you mean, 'he began to become real'?" She asked, bending lightly forward. Julia pursed her lips into a narrow pink line. A sudden revelation came to her, she didn't like this woman. And for some strange reason that epiphany gave her the strength to come back. "At first, he was only a presence in my mind, a voice that could be easily confused with a fantasy; and I reckon it was what I did for a certain time. Then it wasn't the nightmare it became later; and even when I realised that perhaps Alex may be real, I was happy. I think it was because this thing made me feel special for the first time in my life. He seemed to be so sympathetic that I didn't understand right away that something was changing." This time, with Scully's surprise, Julia didn't lower her eyes. She just took a short breath, pushing a lock of light brown hair behind an ear. "Or perhaps I didn't want to understand. In any case, when this finally happened, it was too late, Alex had already left my mind to live his own life. He had become a man, the man you saw this morning in my neighbour's house." ***** The black haired man lay on the bed, with his hands twisted under the head. From time to time a vague buzzing lapped the flow of his thoughts, reminding him of the wretched fan trying to cut through the stuffy air. So Julia had talked. With two Federal Agents. It didn't sound good at all, but now the damage was done. Again he would have to patch up her errors. It was filthy work, but he had never had a choice. The only thing he could choose was the way to do it. And that nasty girl had taken this badly. Alex nervously stirred a hand to drive away a fly whose buzzing was definitely haughtier than that of the old fan. When the fly came back again about his face, he caught it, closing it in his fist. He could feel the stupid insect struggling against his palm, terrorised. *She isn't a nasty girl* Thought Alex, staring at his fist. *She's a part of me, and I'm a part of her. Things have changed a lot, but I'll never be able to really hate her, just as she isn't able to hate me. I'll make her understand that no one will never change this, especially two government lackeys.* His hand opened and the fly flew away painfully zigzagging. Now it had lost all its old haughtiness. The angles of his mouth rose in an enigmatic grin; he would make her understand a lot of things. ***** end of part 1 ******************** SUN BEHIND CLOUDS (2/3) By Olivia Severini severini@atmos.ifa.rm.cnr.it October 30, 1997 ******************** The pieces of the puzzle began to fit in Mulder's mind. He tried to anticipate Julia's words, impatient to verify if the figure that he had gathered was the right one. "Alex had killed those kids to punish them for their vanity, didn't he?" He asked, recalling the brief Baudelaire's passages to his mind. "Something like that." Replied Julia. "But why just them?" She closed her eyes. "Because I hated them. Because they had what I didn't and they knew it." When Julia opened her eyes again, Scully noticed that they were veiled with tears. She had to be approximately nineteen years old, but she looked younger. She had sleek brown hair gathered into a pony tail, brown hazel eyes, a well shaped nose and no signs of make up. She wore a check shirt and a pair of jeans folding abundantly over her white Nike. It seemed like each fiber of her body was struggling to push back tears. Mulder nodded. He needed to confirm the last piece. "You wrote the note about Mrs Kable." He mumbled. Julia wasn't sure that it was a question, so she just said "Yes, I did." For some strange reason she wasn't able to divert her eyes from Mulder. Heedless of whatever surrounded him, Mulder went on with his monologue. "You advised us that your neighbor would be Alex's next victim because you hoped that we would be able to catch him. Mrs Kable has a nasty temper and you can't stand her." When Julia's voice burst high to interrupt Mulder's mumbling one, Scully almost jumped on her seat. Raised on feet, fists clenched and eyes burning with tears of anger, she seemed to be a wholly different person from the shy girl that Scully had seen till that moment. "I never wanted them to die! I didn't kill anyone, I didn't tell Alex to kill them either! He did everything on his own, just because I couldn't stand them. I...I'm not a murder. You have to believe me, I was only envious of their brilliant lives, of their beauty, of their happiness...You've to believe me!" Mulder remained for a brief moment to watch the unexpected change that had just startled his partner, then raised on his foot and covered the few steps that divided him from Julia. "I believe you." He said softly. Then, without adding anything, he hugged her. Scully clearly saw the girl stiffening for a moment and then giving free course to tears. She sighed, taking absent minded a hand to her forehead. Her ideas wouldn't coincide with Mulder's. Her head began to hurt again. ***** Green Sky Motel 3:00 pm Scully put down the receiver and turned toward Mulder to inform him of the latest news. But at the moment her partner didn't appear too impatient to know what was happening. She remained for an instant with her mouth half opened, looking at him with surprise, then a sweet smile crossed her lips, while, shaking her head, Scully approached carefully her sleeping partner to take possession of the folder lying over the night bed. She would take another glance at that calligraphic comparison. On the tv screen Freddy Cruegher was pursuing a girl in night clothes inside a neglected warehouse. It was strange how Mulder was always able to find some kind of films whenever he turned on a tv. "Nightmare three; the best of the whole series." The voice behind her shoulder took her by surprise, causing the folder to almost slip from her fingers. "I've just talked with Detective Stone. It seems that the man who entered Mrs Kable's house, had stolen some silver-plate pieces and the savings which the woman kept in the pot of biscuits." She said, sitting on the edge of the bed. Mulder rubbed his eyes. "As soon as we get back to Washington, I'll have to find another hiding place for my pennies." Turning off the tv, Scully smiled briefly. "Try to plant them. Perhaps the tree of desires will sprout. Mulder, I think that we are dealing with a common thief that kills his victims after robbing them. " "But the other victims hadn't been robbed, Scully." "I know, but perhaps he killed them when they tried to offer resistance." "Or perhaps now he needs money to carry on." Sitting near Scully, Mulder was looking straight in her eye. "You believe every word of Julia's story, don't you?" She asked she without lowering her eyes. "And you really believe we're dealing with a thief with an easy trigger?" "It may be, but at least it's more plausible than the tale of an imaginary friend." Snapped Scully. "So you have to fight another spooky theory." Scully knew she'd been unfair. "I'm sorry." He just nodded. "Really Mulder, I'm sorry." She repeated, while her hand reached again her aching temple. Mulder's mood suddenly changed. "You have a headache?" Scully turned toward him. He had a very concerned look. "No, it's just this intolerable heat." Mulder nodded again. He had just heard a new variation of her 'I'm fine'. "And also my insufferable partner." She added with a small enigmatic smile. Although the tension was broken, neither of them left the trace they had chosen. Mulder went again to speak with Julia, while Scully decided to try to know more about the girl through her acquaitances. ***** Lanacasters' Residence 3:15 pm Alex remained lying on the bed till the shadows of sunset began to float around the little room. He had fallen again in the state that he called 'of forgetfulness', during which he was able to completely forget himself and to be again, a part of her. Although appreciating his new condition and the freedom that it brought, often Alex emerged from this state of mind with a sense of regret and melancholy. The truth was that he missed her, he missed above all their special, exclusive bond. Alex knew that loosing that bond would mean his end and he hadn't a mind to let that to happen. But this time there wasn't time for regrets, he'd to arrange a little trick for the two federal agents before they would really begin to put a spoke in his wheel. The fly was still there, buzzing against the window pane. Outside, in the yard, Beth's beloved rose bushes threw sharp shadows behind the white fence. Alex frowned, shifting his eyes from the green bushes to the fly. Its convulsive banging against the window spoiled the stillness of that moment. It was really annoying. He waited till the bug alighted on the window sill, then squashed it with the palm of his right hand. *I've been too patient with it* He thought a moment later, scraping the remains of the fly from his hand. ***** Whitestone Bar 5:30 pm "What's your first name, agent Mulder?" Asked suddenly Julia, raising her eyes from the huge cup of ice cream. "Fox, but call me Mulder." Replied Mulder. His mouth was full of chocolate ice cream. "Really? Just Fox, like..." "Yes, like the smart little animal with a great furry tail." Concluded Mulder, impatient to set aside the topic. But that afternoon Julia seemed to have got a new determination. "And everyone calls you Mulder? Even...I don't know, even your mum, your girlfriend or your partner?" The girl's amazed look made him smile. "I haven't a girlfriend, my mum still calls my Fox, but thank God for my partner and for the rest of the world I'm just Mulder." He liked Julia, but not enough to tell her about his spooky nickname. After a moment of silence, Julia, turning her attention to the little paper umbrella decorating her ice cream cup, asked with a casual tone: "How many years have you and agent Scully been working together? " "A long time." "And she still calls you Mulder?" "Yeah. Just like I call her Scully." He wasn't sure he wanted to speak about Scully. Julia recognized the note of impatience in his voice. "I'm sorry, this isn't my business. I'm a hopeless meddler." She apologized embarassingly. "Never mind. I've known worst meddler." Mulder said, simply. They spent the following hour chatting about science fictions and football. Then he took Julia home and just when he was alone in his car, driving toward the motel, Mulder thought again about what the girl had told him during the first part of their conversation. He thought about the man called Alex. ***** Green Sky Motel 8:50 pm The motel had a little snack bar, where Mulder would meet Scully at half past eight to eat something together. Of course he was late. Glancing again at her watch (It was almost nine o'clock), Scully took another sip from her third glass of mineral water. It was still terribly hot. Her hairs persisted on sticking to her temples and the back of her neck, making her feel a wreck. The only thing she desired was going up to her room, taking another shower and throwing herself over the bed. She didn't expect to sleep quietly till morning, but at least there would be silence and a window to open. Nevertheless, she knew that to gain that paradise she had to pass through her personal purgatory; another confrontation with her partner. Mulder arrived ten minutes later. Coat crumpled and tie slackened, he was copiously sweating. "This place is like an oven!" He said with a huge smile, sitting in front of her. Scully had the strong suspicious that this was his way to apologize for his delay. "I've been baking here for almost an hour, Mulder." She snorted, passing him the two greasy sheets that constituted the menu. "Well, I'll have...a roasted federal agent with potatoes." "Very funny. Where are you been till now?" "With Julia Rawen" Mulder came to the point without wasting words. "I talked with her for a long time and I believe in her sincerity. She was alone, Scully, surrounded by false friends and by a family unable to understand her. She needed a friend so badly that she built him, giving him life with her hopes and her fears. Julia became more and more attached to him, allowing his strength and independence to grow. " "Wait. Do you believe that all Julia's fears converged to give life to something created from her mind?" Asked a wide eyed Scully, while a plump waitress set their plates in front of them. "I made a calligraphic comparison between the messages left from the murderer and that written by Julia. Although the second one was written in capital letter, it seems to present a striking similitude with the others. But they hadn't been written exactly by the same person. It is said that some Tibetan monks are able to create a living being with the power of their minds. Scully, we know only a little part of the human brain, ignoring a lot of its abilities." Explained Mulder biting his cheeseburger. "I don't know what the Tibetan monks' abilities are, but I know that Julia Rawen has a lot of problems. I checked some medical archives; she had been in analysis for more than a year with a certain doctor Mackenzie. Then I spoke with some people she knows and with her parents. Mulder, that girl is completely unable to establish a normal relation with people. I think that she could have devised this story to punish someone she can't stand, making become him Alex." "Did you speak with her parents?" "Yes, but..." Mulder nodded nervously. "Well. I promised her that they didn't have to know about this story." "But Mulder, you can't..." He interrupted her again. "But don't you understand Scully? That girl only needs a bit of trust and friendship. She begged us, but now she'll close into her shell again and we'll never understand the truth about her story." Scully found herself without words. Of course she was accustomed to Mulder's oddnesses, but this time things were different. She had the clear perception that there was something wrong in this case, something that helped to strengthen the wall that was rising between them. She couldn't help regretting their past, the first cases, their old, safe friendship. A part of her was ready to fight to reconquer what pain and suffering had stolen them; but there was also another part, growing day by day, that was to yield to pain and tiredness. And it was that side of her that won in the snack bar. "Sorry to spoil your plans, but I think the girl is cheating us. In any case I didn't know about the promise you made her. Now, you have to forgive me, but I really need a shower. Good night Mulder." An astonished Mulder observed her stalking outside that smoky place. When she disappeared through the door, his attention shifted to her plate. She had scarcely picked her salad but before going away she had left ten dollars to pay her part. A sad smile crossed his lips; it was very Scully. ***** Rawens' Residence 8:30 pm Julia remained to watch Mulder's car going away along the street. The air smelled of summer and a light breeze brought her vague sounds of dishes and of home life. The windows of the houses began to lighten, and the first stars of evening did the same. "How is it, Shadows! that I knew ye not? How came ye muffled in so much a mask? Was it a silent deep-disguised plot to steal away, and leave without a task my idle days?" That deep, well known voice, made her shiver. She knew that this was going to happen, but she didn't expect it at that moment. She wasn't yet ready. She would never be ready. The dark haired man leaned beside her against the fence of her house. He can clearly perceive the battle going on inside her. Julia's mind returned for a moment to the just past afternoon, to Mulder's words. *You can fight him* "Did you choose another poet?" Asked her, breaking the silence. "John Keats, Ode on Indolence." He explained, staring at her. Alex's magnetic eyes seemed to sound the deepest parts of her soul. *you can fight him* "And who would this shadows be?" Her voice was lightly distorted. "You know it." "The federals?" "They aren't on your side." "You aren't on my side, Alex." A brief flash of anger lightened Alex's mind. "I'm a side of yourself. Don't forget this. You can trust only of yourself, because in this world friendship and care are only a mask to hide a crude selfishness. This is human nature, a truth that you have to accept to stop to suffer without reason. We are alone, Julia; selfish and indifferent just like the rest of the human being." Another shiver went down her spine. Now the stars shining seemed cold and far. "It isn't true, the world is a good place." Her words sounded foolish even to herself, but she strove to believe in what she had said. Because Alex could read behind her words. He shook his head. "The woman was here this afternoon. She talked with your parents." Suddenly Julia felt as if someone had put a bundle full of bowling balls over her shoulders. ***** Green Sky Motel 9:10 pm Someone was tapping at her door. Scully raised from the bed, but for a moment everything around her became dark. She closed her eyes, taking long breaths. Another tap. "Scully?" Mulder's voice came to her through darkness. She had to reach that damned door. When she reopened her eyes, the room was again there, plunged into the blue light of evening. "I'm coming!" She said, surprised from the firm tone of her voice. Leaning an hand over the knob, Mulder frowned. From their first cases they had taken adjoining rooms and left the door unlocked; but for that night it seemed that Scully had chosen to leave behind their agreement. Hearing her unlocking the door, he swiftly took the hand away from the knob, embarrassed as if he would been caught watching from her keyhole. Wasting some moments to settle a lock of hair behind her ear and to take another deep breath, Scully finally opened the door. Mulder's look settled at once over the rings under her eyes. "I'm sorry. You where sleeping, weren't you?" "Don't worry, I was only lying down for a few minutes, going over in my mind about what happened today." Lied Scully. As a matter of fact, she had just vomited her salad. Mulder followed her inside the room and sat over a tottering arm chair, identical to those in the hall. She was in front of him, on the edge of the bed. "You know, I was doing exactly the same." "What?" "Going over things in my mind. Scully, I would like to know how you really feel. I'm afraid that you are hiding a lot of things from me. I'm aware that you aren't obliged to share everything with me. I...I only need to know that you are caring about your health, that if a day, you'll feel tired..." Shifting his eyes upon his hands, Mulder felt unable to go on. He hated this kind of conversations. He could clearly perceive his own awkwardness; and his incapacity to help her in the terrible battle she was fighting alone was turning into that wall he was building between them. Suddenly the words Scully had used to describe Julia returned in his mind. *Completely unable to establish a normal relation with people.* Scully observed him wistfully. "I'm already tired, Mulder. And frightened. I'm frightened about the future. Every morning I can't help wondering if I'll have another nosebleed, if my stomach will be able to digest the dinner or if I'll loose another lock of hair. But then I open the window and I find that the sky is still blue, that the sun is shining again and these little miracles make me understand that life goes on and that it'll do the same when I'm no longer here. But I'm still alive; and I want to live each moment that is left to me." Mulder raised on his feet. "But is this life, Scully? Is this the life you dreamed about when you were a child? God, look around yourself; did you really dream about this room? About spending your life quarreling about aliens and mutants with me? You would have to hate me for all this, you would run away in this precise moment and... I don't know, buy a ticket for Hawaii. Perhaps then I'll stop feeling guilty every time I meet your eyes." He was almost yelling. end of part 2 ******************** SUN BEHIND CLOUDS (3/3) By Olivia Severini severini@atmos.ifa.rm.cnr.it October 30, 1997 ******************** Outside, everything was still and quiet. The street lamps gently lightened the streets crossed only by a few passers returning home from work. But they made no noise. Nothing seemed to make noise. Or perhaps Julia wasn't able to perceive them over the storm beating in her soul. They had cheated her. She had cheated her. She bumped into an old man with a poodle on the leash. He coursed loudly, but his voice was too far to reach her. It had been Scully who had talked to her parents, to tell them about Alex. And now her mum wanted her to go again to doctor Mackenzie, an idle fat man hypocrite and sugary, interested only in her father's money. *We are alone, Julia; selfish and indifferent just like the rest of this world.* ***** Scully stared at the man straight in front of her. "When I was child, among the other things I dreamed about having a strong ideal to lead my life, Mulder. And you gave it me; the truth. Of course I know that there are things that I'll never have: a wedding dress, a husband, children or a desk of my own; but I don't regret any of my choices." Despite the fact that she wasn't accustomed to talk about such topics with Mulder, she had been able to speak clearly and firmly and, thanks to God, her eyes were still dry. But a woolly voice inside of her kept on telling her that, again, she hadn't been completely sincere. *Do you really regret nothing, Dana?* The hint to her desk left the shadow of a smile on Mulder's face. She was always able to make him feel better, to reassure him. He wasn't sure at all that she haven't regrets, that the search for the truth was really more important and gratifying than a wedding dress, a husband and children. But all that he could do was to keep on believing that there was a truth to find and a justice to pursue not only for Scully, but also for his own sake. He sat near her, grabbing her hand. Their eyes met for a brief moment, then Scully rested her head over his shoulder. "Perhaps we could try to steal Skinner's desk." Suggested Mulder, leaving her hand and putting an arm around her shoulders. Scully lowered her head and squinted at him. "Would you really do that for me?" Mulder smiled again and his smile turned quickly into a laugh. She did the same, resting again her head over his shoulder. Some capricious tears veiled her eyes, but Scully chose to ignore them. She was too glad that they were still able to laugh, that they were again together in spite of everything. ***** Proceeding along the narrow passage, Julia heard a burst of laughter. She followed it to room 96, agent Scully's room, and stopped near the ajar door. They were there, laughing embraced. Julia's first thought was that they were laughing about her, but then she realized that this was quite unlikely. The truth was that she had no idea about what could amuse them so much, nevertheless she felt to be in front of something that she would never join. That they never would allow her to join. Were they lovers? In any case they shared a deep bond, made of friendship, care and absolute trust that Julia could clearly perceive in their eyes. Nevertheless the woman had betrayed her. Julia decided that Mulder didn't know about his partner's chat with her parents and this turned her instinctive dislike toward that woman into something similar to hate. Abruptly, Alex's voice crossed her mind like a flash. *That redhead, with her cold blue eyes and her impeccable clothes is cheating both of us!* He was right. Mulder trusted her and she was betraying him. Now she was sure of this, because she knew that Mulder would never shatter their promise. ***** Mulder was about to leave Scully's room when his phone rang. It was Julia who wanted to meet him as soon as possible. Concerned, he tried to understand what was happening, but Julia replied that she had no intention of speaking over the phone about such matters. "Julia wants to talk with me." He explained briefly, meeting Scully's inquiring glance. "About?" "I don't know, but she could be in danger. Perhaps Alex is blackmailing her." He entered his room, searching for his coat. Scully followed him. "Mulder, it could be a trap." "I'll be careful" Mulder replied evasively. Now he was searching for the car keys. Scully took them from a night table and made them tinkle in her hand to call his attention. But when Mulder was to grab them, she closed her fist. "I'll drive" She said, slipping on her own light coat. "She wants to meet me alone." He tried, with no real hope to dissuade her. "I'll wait inside the car. I've to finish Patricia Cornwell's last book." ***** Julia was waiting for him on a bench in the small public garden of Locust Groove. The moon shone bright and in front of her, the gushing water of the fountain turned silvery, while the early crickets spread their tedious chirping from the dark bushes. It was almost ten. Mulder would be there at any moment. She hoped that he would come alone as she had asked. She only wanted to know if he really believed in her story, if he considered her mad and she felt that that night she would have got the sincerity she needed. But this didn't prevent her from being terribly scared. ***** Scully parked just outside the public garden. "Mulder, if you need help I'm there." She said while Mulder got off the car. He leaned slightly toward her, winking at the pocket book over the dashboard. "I'm afraid that even if ET's space ship crossed the sky while you're reading the last pages of that, you wouldn't pay the slightest attention at it." She couldn't help smiling. "Don't worry, you call me and I'll come as soon as I end the book." Mulder patted her shoulder and then shut the door. A moment later the dewy air of the garden surrounded him. He went along the grave alley till the center of the park, where Julia was waiting for him. ***** Alex knew well what he had to do. He had already written the message and, though it was a risk, he had faith that Julia would have understood it. It was time to change the game rules, time to make her understand what she really wanted, what her real nature was. Hidden in the shadow, he observed the car for less than a quarter of hour, till the woman, clearly on tenter hooks, closed the book she was reading and went toward a automatic machine of soft drinks that was on the other side of the street. The whole job only took a few minutes. He hit her in nape of the neck with the gun butt and dragged her back inside the car. Then he took charge of her gun, secured he in the passenger seat with the safety belt and carefully placed the note on the ground. Now he was really ready to leave. ***** "It was him." Julia said, observing the note. Mulder recognized at once the fluttering handwriting. The bastard. "He did this because I disliked her. It's my fault." Julia's voice was flat and emotionless. Despite the fact that he believed Alex had done everything by himself, Mulder wasn't in the right mood to console her. He needed to think quickly. First of all the note. He glanced over it again. 'I saw the sweetest flower nature yields, a fresh blown musk rose; 'twas the first that threw its sweets upon the summer: graceful it grew as is the wand that queen Titania wields.' "Does it mean something to you?" He asked finally. Julia shook her head, staring at the piece of paper in Mulder's hands. Raising her eyes till his face appeared like a prohibitive undertaking. Mulder rubbed his eyes. Why didn't he kill Scully at once, like the other victims? What does he have in mind? Perhaps..."Julia, I think that the note represents a message that Alex left to you, that he wants you to understand where he took Scully." He said, squeezing lightly her arm. "But why?" She asked tearfully. "I don't know, but..." Julia abruptly interrupted him. "Beth Lancaster! It may be that he took your partner to her place!" Mulder involuntarily tightened his hold around her arm. "What do you mean?" "Old Beth is known in the whole town for the wonderful roses she grows in her garden. She lives alone with her invalid husband and she let a couple of rooms to carry on. I remember that once he asked me about her." Few minutes later they were driving fast toward the garden of roses. Inside the car the silence was almost a physical presence and Julia had the impression that, turning toward the back seats, she would have seen Him grinning wickedly at her. She always fought against silence and fear and often had been defeated, but now was the time to win at least a battle. She had to break the silence. "I'm really sorry for all this mess I did." She whispered. Mulder bit his lower lip. He was clearly in a fret, and Julia feared that, if he hadn't heard her, she never would have been able to speak again. But he had heard. "It's not your fault, Julia. But keep up this mood, please. Be angry with him for having done all this to you, for making you lose your self confidence. I'm sure that you can defeat him." "I'm the only one able to kill him, aren't I?" But she already knew the answer. "I think so. When I tried to shoot at him, this morning...He isn't a common human being, you know." Suddenly Julia understood everything. To gain a full independence, Alex needed to affirm his personality over hers and to do this he had to have her on his side. He wanted her to hate Scully, just like he wanted her to hate the previous victims. He hadn't relieved all her loneliness, he only made it more desperate. "I guess that it will be like a battle against myself." She finally murmured, giving voice to her thoughts. Mulder nodded. "Julia, Scully has a cancer." He abruptly said after another long gap of silence. He saw her open her brown eyes wide and for a moment couldn't help wondering to himself why the hell he'd told her about this. But then her eyes became so sympathetic, it gave him a speechless answer to his question. Meanwhile, they had to get to Beth's house. Mulder turned off the engine, but getting out of the car, he felt Julia's hand around his arm keeping him. "I was wrong about Scully. I'm just a stupid... I... I don't want anything bad to happen to her." "Be angry with him." Only repeated Mulder, freeing himself from her grasp. ***** Beth Lancaster was right in the middle of a dream about her youth when someone tapped at the door, awakening her. She glanced at her husband for a moment, then went down the bed and left the room tiptoeing. Who could it be? Crossing the hall her eye fell over her old Victorian pendulum clock. After all it was only half past ten. She turned on the light. "Who's?" Her voice was firm. "FBI" Said Mulder Beth unlocked the door. "Hi Beth." Hailed Julia smiling uneasily. "Julia, sweetie, what's happening?" Beth kept on shifting her blue eyes from Julia to the tall dark clothed man. "Did you let a room to a man called Alex?" ***** Alex couldn't understand why the woman kept glaring at him. He couldn't bear those eyes sharp as ice, looking at him with a mixture of arrogance and hostility. That wasn't supposed to be the mood of the little bitch; she wasn't acting at all like the previous victims. Why the hell she wasn't trembling with fear? Why weren't those blue icy pools melting with tears or begging his mercy? A car parked in front of the house. "Our friend has come!" Cheerfully said Alex. "Are you happy to die in front of your partner?" He added then, kneeling to graze Scully's cheek. Unable to move or to spit right in his face, she only raised an eyebrow. It made Alex lose a good part of his self control. ***** Alex had given Beth the name of Stewart Dupree. Reserved and polite, he stayed in the little room upstairs. He had his keys and entered from the back door, so Beth hadn't heard him returning home that night, as happened each time that she was already sleeping. Mulder and Julia went upstairs. A blade of light filtered from under Alex's door. They were there. Mulder turned to make a sign to Julia to remain behind and drew his gun. It was too cold against his sweaty palm and heavy. He had to stop a moment to swallow part of his fear, then flung open the door. ***** Scully's heart leapt up. He was there. Everything would be all right. Other waves of emotions shook her, but she strove again to hide them under the icy pool of her eyes. Whoever the hell he was, she would never allow Alex to see her fear. But she knew she wouldn't be able to deceive Mulder. ***** Alex held Scully in his grasp; a gun pointed at her head. A little stream of blood soiled her upper lip, its redness in sharp contrast with her pale face. Mulder saw the shadow of death impending over her. In a single moment, a tangle of memories unfolded in front of his eyes. She entering his office for the first time, the two of them, standing in front of an open grave, laughing, soaked to the skin from rain. The night in the car when she told him that she wouldn't put herself on the line for anyone but him. The telephone call in the heart of the night, him holding her tightly in the hospital ward. In a short time it would be nothing more than a few precious memories. But that time hasn't come yet and if he couldn't tear away that shadow, he could still banish it for a while. He ordered Alex to throw his gun, aiming his own at him. He smiled mockingly. "Come on FBI, you know better than me that you aren't able to hurt me in the least!" Then, addressing to Julia, "Am I wrong?" Julia stepped forward. "No, you aren't." She turned toward Mulder. "Give me your gun." He gave it her. Alex smiled again. "What are you going to do now? Shoot me? Very bad idea,girl. Because you see, then you'll be alone again. For ever. Follow your heart Julia. You want her to die, and I'm able to fulfill your desire, leaving your hands clean. Then, I can simply disappear and no one will believe such a story." Mulder was certain that Alex would fade away, like he did in the high school dressing room. "I don't hate her, Alex." Said firmly Julia. Alex voice became rougher. "Don't you? Don't you hate her self confidence and her smartness? Don't you hate her wonderful blue eyes? She is whatever you'll never be able to be and she looks down on you for this." Scully didn't despise her at all, but, since Alex had shut her mouth with some adhesive tape, all she could do was shook her head. Tears had begun to go slowly down Julia's cheeks. Mulder's words echoed in her mind as she noticed the blood under her nose. *She has a cancer* No, Scully wasn't perfect, she had her own fears. And she was dear to Mulder. Scully was for him that strong mate that Alex would never be able to be for her, but she couldn't hate her for this. "Leave me in peace, Alex." Begged Julia. "I can't. Soon you'll understand that I'm doing all this for you, Julia." Then someone shot. ***** Some days later, a summer storm fell over Washington. Inside the office of the ad. Walter Skinner there was plenty of electrostatic energy. "So you shot that man to save agent Scully's life." "Yes, sir." Mulder simply replied. That was the first and only lie he would have told to his boss. Skinner gave a last glance at the report, then stared at Mulder, half closing his eyes as to better observe him. "Agent Mulder, do you really believe that Alex was an entity created by the mind of that girl?" Mulder returned his gaze. "Yes sir. In spite of my deep researches, I have succeeded in obtaining nothing about his identity; it seems that that man was never existed." Skinner shook his head wistfully. A thunder pealed from outside. "What does agent Scully think?" "She doesn't agree with my theory. She performed an autopsy over the body and didn't find anomalies of any kind. She thinks that Alex was a psychopathic obsessed with Julia Rawen." "Where is the girl now?" Skinner asked. "She's being evaluated at the Mental Health Institution. She's getting the help she needs." Mulder replied. The man behind the desk nodded slowly. "What about Scully's health condition?" Mulder shifted his eyes over the window furrowed with rain. "I don't know. She is strong, but...It's like every day she loses part of that strength. None of this should've happened to her." His voice was fretted. "I know; but there is still hope, agent Mulder." ***** "There is a message from Julia." Scully said, as soon as her partner entered their office. Mulder read the message on the computer screen from over Scully's shoulder. ----------------------------------- Dear Mulder and dear Scully; The world is a good place and is worth while to fight for it. In this summer night, to my eyes, the sky is clear. As it hadn't been for a long time. The stars are no longer too far and their shine is a promise of hope. I wonder whether rising on the tips of my toes and stretching a hand I would be able to skim them. Perhaps I wouldn't, but you try Mulder, maybe being taller... I know this message could appear odd to you, but I only hope that, among this mess, my thanks will reach you clear. Thank you for making me understand a lot of things, for giving me the courage to dream about being able to touch a star and to believe in the things that make this life worthy of being lived. The people here are very kind and have also helped me to see that life is a beautiful thing. They say I can leave soon to be with my family again. Bye Julia. PS. A great hug from Beth. By the way, she thinks that there is a sympathy between you two. You know how these old girls are... ----------------------- Mulder cleared his voice. "Well...What do you know about old girls loving roses, Scully?" Scully smiled in amusement. "They are romantic and paranoid, Mulder. " "Very dangerous." "No more than an imaginary friend with homicidal mania." Minimized Scully. Then, after a short pause, "I'm really happy for Julia. Whoever that Alex was, now she is finally free to live her own life. " "I'm happy too. I think she's better prepared to deal with life." Said Mulder, sitting at his desk. Scully dwelled over the 'I Want To Believe' poster. "Mulder, do you believe this world is a good place?" For a while, the only noise in the room was the soft buzzing of the computer. "Why the hell do you ask such questions when I've just come back from Skinner's office?" This time Scully didn't smile. "I'm speaking seriously." "No, I don't." "Why?" Mulder shook his head, shifting his eyes to the sheets on the desk. Scully reached him. "Why?" She repeated in a higher voice, putting a hand over his shoulder. "Because of what happened to my sister, of what I've seen over the years and of what is happening to you, Scully. If I'm able to do nothing against these injustices, what is the real meaning of this search for the truth of mine? I began to feel like Don Quischote fighting against wind mills." Mulder eyes were still over the sheets, but Scully could all the same see that they were red with tears. "Mulder, I know you'll find Samantha, that you'll find the truth; and I'll be at your side as long as I'm be able. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but today I'm there and I'm happy to be alive." Said her, lightly shaking his shoulder. Mulder raised his head. "Can I call you Sancho Panza?" "Only if you buy me dinner." "Done!" >From somewhere the sun found a breach through the curtain of clouds and in a short time its rays dried the rain fallen over the city. THE END