From: "Humbuggie" Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2001 20:53:32 +0200 Subject: xfc: Sweet Dream 1/1 Source: xfc Sweet Dream By Humbuggie (c) 2001 san@sv-tales.com http://www.sv-tales.com edited by Mori, with all my thanks! Sweet dreams are made of this Who am I to disagree? I travel the world And the seven seas- Everybody's looking for something. -- The Eurythmics Story: Mulder is caught in a dream world from which he cannot escape. But Scully can't just sit back and watch her partner die. Can she? Minor spoilers for several episodes. The story takes place during the season seven timeline. Dream His eyes were open as he lay in the shadows. The palm tree branches seemed to whisper a tune to him as they were moved by the wind. He had never felt this peaceful before. His worries were gone; his aches were no longer there. He was simply breathing, living and enjoying. There was nothing more or less than the peace of this very moment. It was all he needed. The warm sand touched his back. His arms lay stretched out on the sand, his fingers spread. He had no idea how he had gotten here, nor did he want to go back to where he came from. That place was dark, deadly and forgettable. This had to be a dream. It couldn't be anything else. How else had he gotten from a damp, dark place to this paradise? Perhaps he was dead, as he had wished for. Perhaps this was heaven. But then why was he alone here, as if this was his special haven with high walls to protect him from all evil? Slowly he moved. His body found a way to stand up. The sand fell off his clothes like drops of water. He took a deep breath, as his lungs longed for fresh air. But all he could breathe in was a strange, sharp scent that somehow prevented him from breathing too deeply. He moved on bare feet. Every move seemed to take some effort, as if there were an invisible force stopping him. Perhaps he wasn't allowed to move forward. Perhaps he was meant to stay where he was. Had he been lying on the sand for a long time? The sun's warm glow cheered him up. Anywhere was better than where he came from. He didn't want to go back. This was his home now. As he walked, his feet sank into the sand until he reached the ocean. As he reached the ocean, the sky darkened. Its colors became unnatural. The sun faded and made room for the cold night. But he still didn't feel endangered. And when the night finally fell and he sat by himself on the sandy beach, he realized that he wasn't tired, wasn't hungry and didn't even feel thirsty. He felt just perfect. He didn't need anything anymore. There was no longing. He could forget everything and move on to a better life. In the morning he woke up feeling just as comfortable. And he spent the entire day at the beach, just staring at the sky, smelling that same strange scent he had sensed all day. Reality Her mouth fell open from the shock of seeing her partner lying unconscious on the bed. At first he seemed dead until she noticed that he was breathing shallowly. His eyes were closed. There wasn't anything to prove that he was able to understand her. Yet she knew that his spirit still had to be in that shell somewhere. It couldn't just have left him. Terrified, she turned to Skinner. Her eyes spoke of her despair. She felt tears sting her eyes as she said in a broken voice, "Call the paramedics, now." Skinner had already called while her attention was on her partner and his unmoving features. Her hand touched his face gently, and her boss knew she was using everything in her power to get her partner to listen to her. And he swore there and then that he would find the doctor and have him pay for what he had done. Dream He spotted the form in the water and stood up. For the first time, a sense of danger came over him as he watched the creature in the water. It had tentacles like an octopus one saw in those old disaster movies. But it wasn't an octopus. It was far worse. Its ugly head rose as it spotted him on the beach. Its red eyes seemed to find his hazel ones. They were linked together and couldn't disconnect. The creature indicated that he should back off. This was the creature's territory, not his. Slowly he sat down again, and his feet touched the sand -- that warm sand that felt like the sand where he had built the spaceship with the boy. Only here, he was alone. And underneath the sand the earth seemed to be moving. It was a pending omen for grave danger to come. Reality His body convulsed as he was transferred from the gurney to a bed in examination room four. They had trouble keeping him down as a tube was inserted down his throat to help him breathe. His body rejected the tests they had planned. When they stuck a needle in his arm to draw blood for tests, his arm jerked. Yet, at the same time, they couldn't wake him. He wouldn't respond to any stimuli nor would he give a sign of consciousness. He remained the way they had found him in his apartment; gone from reality. But when Scully touched his face and tried to calm him, she could actually sense that there was life in him. It was there. But they couldn't grasp it. When they finally had the results of the blood tests, Scully felt like her world was collapsing. It was, as they had feared. She cried in Skinner's arms. After all they had been through she couldn't bear it. Her worst fears and beyond had come true. All they could do now, was finding the doctor and force him tell them the truth. The hope of that happening was so small at the moment that she feared for the worst. Dream His third day at the beach, he slowly became aware that the earth was changing. The skies were dark now and dangerous. A cold wind washed the ocean water over him. He shivered, as the creature seemed to stare at him. But it still remained at a safe distance. It didn't attack him. He knew now what it meant. It was his guardian. He was allowed to dream, but this creature would prevent him from dreaming of home. And that was what he had done when he had rested and slept peacefully, imagining her near him. And he had wished for her, longed for her, but his wish hadn't been granted. He was still in his own secluded world, all alone, with nothing but beauty surrounding him. But what good was beauty when there was no one to share it with him? And slowly he knew that cold, dark place was better than here. At least there he had her. Here he had nothing. Slowly he moved up and about, towards the water that kept him here, on this secluded island of his dreams. This was the wall he had to break down. If he didn't, he would stay here forever. He put his foot in the water. As he did, something sharp stung the sole of his foot. At first, he didn't know what it was. The sharp pain was instantly replaced by numbness. He looked down, staring at the drops of thick blood that dripped in the ocean and mingled with the blues and whites of the water. He stared down and tried to see his foot, but it felt dead. He sank down on his butt in the sand and grabbed his right foot with both hands. The bottom of it--the sole--was cut open. A deep gash was visible, running from toes to heel. It was covered with sand and blood; mingled with ocean water that stung so badly it made him gasp. In the water he saw what had stabbed him. It was as thin as razorblades but as sharp as a butcher's knife. There were small tentacles in the water, mini-versions of the huge ones the creature had. And every single tentacle had an extension as sharp as a knife. This had been a warning. Now he knew he couldn't do anything. He was doomed to be here forever until death came to take him away. But death wouldn't come. It wouldn't find him here. He was in paradise. He could not die. He was protected. He was immortal; he could not die. Yet, he could not live either. Reality They told her the bad news. The tests showed that her partner's condition was deteriorating fast. If the degeneration of his blood cells continued at this rate, they would lose him by morning. Time was running out and they needed to find the doctor immediately. But she wasn't up to it. All she could do was sit and stare at his dying form. There wasn't any medication available to cure him. Nothing would help him now. He was trapped inside his own body. He couldn't tell them where he was. He couldn't explain what dreamscape he was in. He could only breathe and keep on breathing for as long as his body allowed. Finally Skinner came into the room and told her they had found the doctor, but he wasn't talking. Furiously and ready to fight she moved up and about, following her boss to the small office where they had taken the doctor. They had brought him to the hospital to interrogate him there. He would be able to help them. But the doctor wouldn't listen to them, and would not talk. All he said was that it was lies. His reaction made her furious. She requested to talk to him by herself and was allowed to. She was determined to save her partner and she would do so. She had vowed that to herself and him. He wasn't ready to die for something as useless as this. She knew that. It was in his mind and heart to fight. Suddenly they called for her, saying that she was urgently requested at her partner's bedside. Her first thought was that he was gone. But she would have sensed that. Yet another shock came to her when she saw them working on his right foot, trying to stop the bleeding from a huge gash that ran from toe to heel. "What happened?" was all she could utter when the bleeding continued. They explained to her how his foot had suddenly begun bleeding, as if he had been cut with a sharp object. Yet the nurse on call hadn't seen anyone near him since she left. There couldn't have been. She had only been gone for a few moments. The doctor turned towards her and frowned. "His blood is shot to hell!" he explained. "We can't stop the bleeding. You have to find an antidote now or he will bleed to death." Suddenly the urgency had become even more obvious. Dream The earth seemed to tilt underneath his feet when he moved; trying to stop the bleeding with a ripped sleeve of the sweater he had taken off when he woke up on the beach for the first time. But even as he bandaged his foot, blood already soaked through the cloth. He felt weak and exhausted. Suddenly it struck him. He wasn't expecting a way out. He wasn't even looking for it. He believed that this was the end. He had lost his urge to fight. How in the world could he have given up so easily? He had to get out of here now, and find his way to her. She was waiting for him. He could hear her voice, whispering in the wind. He could see her before him. She would be angry with him for giving up this easily. He had been led by paradise. Now he had to find the way home. Wind blew softly past his ear, brushing his hair. He turned and saw a woman. And there he stood, with one foot on the sand and the other one raised, trying to protect it from further damage. He didn't move when she came nearer, walking towards him as if it was normal to see him there, in a world where no one else lived. She was beautiful. He couldn't describe her any other way. There was something very familiar about her. She wore a dress; little flowers painted on yellow. Her hair hung loose over her shoulders. Her feet were bare, just like his. It was Scully. Yet at the same time it wasn't. This was the Scully from his dreams, the one he could fall in love with, because she had let go of all the boundaries that were between them when they worked together. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. There was a way about her that added charm and grace to the real Scully. She had put aside all her limitations. She had given into the sensuality she had inside her. She was his fantasy. She was here to fulfil his dreams. And she wore the dress that he wanted her to wear. In his dreams, she was his alone--the way he wanted her to be. She didn't speak a word when she reached for his hand. He didn't ask her where she was taking him. She led him away from the beach and into the shade of the palm trees that covered the rest of the isle. There she settled him on a bed of leaves; he closed his eyes and forgot all his troubles. He rested in her lap. As long as she was with him, he would feel wonderful. He would not run. He would not find a way to escape this paradise prison. He would stay. Reality Skinner watched from the corner of the room as the conversation developed. Calm as ever, Scully sat down opposite the doctor she had seen four times, and trusted, before this happened. And now he had taken her trust and used it against her, forcing her to reconsider her faith in medicine. She didn't like the way he made her feel. She felt betrayed. '"Doctor," she started, as she sat down, offering him a glass of water that he accepted. "Why did you do this?" The doctor didn't respond to her. He just sat there with his hands folded on the table. He only moved to drink a bit of the water. Then those hands returned to the table. Scully's eyes drifted away. They looked like Mulder's hands. Her partner had such beautiful, gentle hands. She remembered in detail how he used to touch her hand or shoulder or face, or the small of her back. She closed her eyes for a second, trying to get her mind back on the present. He would touch her again, if she got through to this man. She needed to focus. "Doctor," she continued, opening her eyes again as she tried to get his attention. "My partner, Agent Mulder, is very sick. We have reason to believe that you are responsible for this. You were the last person to see him. We know that he came over to talk to you. He believed that he would be able to reason with you after the details you explained to us. Instead, you used him as a test subject and are killing him." The doctor's eyes seemed to change expression but he didn't speak. Scully banged her hand on the table and sighed deeply and desperately. "We are going to find the truth," she said. "We have the samples from your lab. But you can still help Mulder. If you don't, I'll make sure that you are charged with first-degree murder." Furious, Scully got up. She trembled with anger. Nothing would stop her from saving her partner. Nothing. Skinner got up and put his hand on her shoulder, helping her to calm down. She looked up and nodded, then said, "Let's get out of here. He doesn't deserve our precious time." "Your partner is not dying," the doctor suddenly said, while she opened the door. She turned quickly, catching Skinner's frown as her boss looked at their suspect. "Talk," Skinner simply said, returning to his spot near the door. He leaned heavily against the wall, trying to stay as calm as possible. In reality he had wanted to kick the doctor's ass, forcing the truth out of him. "The drug is not meant to kill," the doctor sighed, finally moving away from his frozen position. "It's meant to heal. I have tried to explain that to you for days now. But you, Agent Scully, were so determined to find that girl's killer, that you were too eager to believe that I was capable of murder." "Weren't you?" Scully asked sharply. "You said it yourself: You gave her your alternative method of healing. Your colleagues claimed that she would have lived. If you had stayed away from her, she would have been okay." "I was healing her!" the doctor exclaimed. "She was dying. No regular medicine could have saved her, no matter what anyone says. Your partner trusted in me. That's why he came to see me. He believed that I had found something very worthwhile. When he left my lab, he headed to see you to talk to you about it. He said so himself. I don't know what happened to him afterwards." "You lie," Scully replied harshly. "You've done nothing but lie. I don't like you, doctor. I don't care what you think you might have discovered. But my partner needs your help. If you're a healer, like you say you are, help him." The doctor frowned. "I don't understand why you say your partner is dying. My medication does not kill. It helps the mind rest while the body heals. It creates a dream world, springing from the patient's mind. The moment the patient's body starts to recuperate from its ordeal, the drug abates by itself. That was my true invention: no more sedation and artificial comas. Within a natural, restful sleep, the patient heals himself." "But the girl died.'" "I don't know what went wrong with her," the doctor frowned. "I was testing the drug on healthy subjects. I had very positive results. She was my first real patient because her parents asked me to help her. I tried. And when she died, you accused me of murder. But I am telling you the truth; she wasn't supposed to die. Neither is your partner." "But he is," Scully said softly, as she calmed down. "Your drug is killing him. An unknown virus is destroying his blood cells. Somehow his foot started bleeding. He's bleeding to death. They're trying to stop the bleeding and introduce healthy cells into his body. If that is the work of your drug, then you must know what we can do to stop this.' The doctor's expression changed once again as he muttered, "This can't be. This cannot be!" 'What is it?' Skinner asked. "My drug doesn't cause this. But I know what does." At the same time the doctor realized what was going on, Scully knew as well. She remembered so clearly the expression on the face of the doctor's assistant. Kim Camden had not been willing to talk to them, or to be questioned about the girl's death. The doctor had said he knew about the tests, but didn't agree with the purpose of the medication. "Dr. Camden," she said. "It's him, isn't it?" The doctor frowned. "It has to be." "Where is he, sir?" "I don't know. He called in sick this morning." "Could he have seen Mulder last night?" "He might have, yes. He left five minutes before Mulder arrived. If they had crossed paths, he might have--oh, god, I cannot bear to think about it. If this is true, I'm responsible for murder!" "What did he do, sir?" Scully asked urgently. "Did he use your drug as a base and add something to it that will destroy the human system? Is he going to sell it to the highest bidder for chemical warfare?" "He was--unsatisfied. He said I was wasting his time and talents. My god, what if he was the one that sent you to me? What if he destroyed that girl on purpose to have me shut down? If you had arrested me, everything would go to him. He would continue the tests. I knew he had his own tests. But I never thought--I never believed that it had already gone that far." "Is there a cure?' Scully asked. "Please, sir - I have to know!" The doctor shook his head. "I made that drug based on the behavior of the human brain. I believed that the mind was strong enough, within itself, to heal. The drug feeds on the thought processes inside one's brain. You see, we have never been able to explore the brain, but there are results of tests that show that most of the healing of a human body begins within your brainstem. Electric pulses are pushed to the rest of your body. When you're driving a car or eating a sandwich, your brain tells you what to do; it motivates you. Popular beliefs tell us that--once asleep or unconscious--your brain is still working, on a very limited basis. But I believe that there is a large percentage that is still in use." "So what is the cure then?" Skinner asked. "There is no cure. As I said, one should wake up after the body heals. The mind is at ease and peace. If that is not the case, the danger and risks cannot be foreseen. The patient must believe in his own well-being. He has to be at peace. When he's not, he will not wake up." "What does that mean?" Scully demanded. "You're still not giving me the answers I need!" 'If I am correct, Dr. Camden took my drug and added something extra to it, something so powerful that the mind and body are being put in danger that cannot be overcome by outside cures. I believe that this drug has blocked the way back that I created inside my patient's minds, therefore destroying both the body and mind at the same time. As long as Agent Mulder doesn't want to escape his prison, he's bound by the limits of his mind." "Are you saying that Mulder has somehow been cut off from returning to this world?" Skinner asked. "Or something has done that for him?" "This drug of yours is a curse," Scully said bitterly. "It's not created to help people." "Yes, it was," the doctor insisted. "How could I know that it would be abused?" "That's what you so-called good guys say," Scully interrupted angrily. "Every drug used for warfare started out this way. Every means used to destroy populations came from 'good ideas'. I don't want to hear your excuses, doctor. I just want to hear how I can help him." "You can't. No one can. It's too late." "Is it? Is it really? I don't believe you, doctor. You've lied to us before. You should have told us about Dr. Camden's tests." "I didn't think it was relevant." "Of course it was. It always is. Tell me how to help him! There must be a way." The doctor closed his eyes and sank into his chair. "Have you ever seen the movie "Dreamscape", Agent Scully?" "Yes." "If you can get into your partner's sweet dream, then you might stand a chance of persuading him to open his mind and come back. If you cannot do that, it will be a matter of time. The girl died within twenty-four hours. You must realize that you cannot do this without help. You have to believe that you are doing the right thing. You must believe in your partner's dreams." "Just tell me what to do," Scully said. "No," Skinner said. He rose up and moved forward. 'I'm not risking your life, Agent Scully. It might not work. There must be another way.' Scully shook her head. "Please, sir." "No. I cannot allow this." Scully nodded slowly, staring tiredly at her boss. This case had taken so much out of them already. And now they were forced to sit back and watch. But she didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't know how to act, or react. All she knew was that her partner was lying in a hospital bed, dying. "Am I under arrest?" the doctor asked. "Yes, you are," Skinner said. "One of my agents is going to take you to the police station for further interrogation. You are going to help us find Dr. Camden. If you don't, you will be charged with first degree murder.'" The doctor nodded as he stared at Scully. The female agent turned away from him and walked outside. Skinner came after her, stopping her. "You must understand," he said. "I cannot allow this to happen. My duty is to keep my agents alive." "I understand, sir," she said. "There has to be another way.'" Skinner nodded. "Why don't you go and see how he's doing? I'll put all available men on the search for Dr. Camden." "Yes, sir." They both went separate ways. Within a few seconds Scully returned to the small office where the doctor was being kept, smiling at the attending agent, who was waiting for his colleague to take the doctor away. "I forgot something," Scully said apologetically. The agent nodded and showed her in. She closed the door behind her and looked at the doctor who didn't even seem surprised that she had returned. "You know what I want," she said. "Tell me what to do." The doctor frowned. "I don't have it here. They took it from me. I had a small sample with me. I always keep one. But your colleagues have it now." "I can get it. What do I have to do?" "Inject yourself with it. Make sure you're relaxed and open-minded. Close your eyes and sleep and let the drug do its work. Think of your partner--force yourself to be in his dreams. Figure out what goes on in his mind. Try to be like him. Forget all that you have believed in and become him." She nodded and turned. "Agent Scully?" She glanced at him, refusing to show her tears. She was angry with herself for losing it. But finding Mulder like that had been too much. She had been through too much. "Believe in what it will do for you. It will take you to a peaceful place. I don't know what Kim has done to it. But imagine a place that you can never escape from again. Imagine being trapped there and realizing that every step you take could be your last. My guess is that this is where your partner is right now. That paradise we all believe in is there. But as soon as you want to run away, it becomes a hell. He must find the way out for himself. If he doesn't, you'll never get him, or yourself, out of there." She closed the door behind her. A few minutes later, with the evidence bag with a small sample of the medication in it, she walked swiftly to the ICU where her partner still lay deadly quiet on his bed, with a tube down his throat and wires running all over his body. His foot was bandaged, but the blood was wetting the bandage. The nurse told her that the bandage had to be replaced every half hour. The bags of blood couldn't keep up with the lost volume. The healthy blood cells weren't replacing the sick ones. It was just a matter of time. Scully stared at the pale features of her partner and the tears came. Furiously she rubbed her eyes and walked over to the nurse's station. The two nurses on call were busy. Scully moved quickly as she stole a syringe from the open package on the table and returned to Mulder's bed. She glanced at the nurses working with other patients. She was alone for now. She filled the syringe with the fluid and injected her left arm with it. A strange feeling immediately took over. She dropped the needle on the floor, feeling dizzy and faint. Scully moaned softly as she crawled on the bed, forcing herself onto her partner's body. She rolled on her side, making a small cocoon of her partner's arm, careful not to disturb any wires or tubes. With her head resting on his chest, she finally lost consciousness. The last thing going through her mind was her partner's belief in the paranormal. She had to go to that place that he went to when he was in trouble or pain. She would find him there, on that beach. She knew it. He had told her about that beach before - the one he went to when the going got tough. There was no doubt in her mind that this time too - he would be there. It was that way that the nurse found her and called for help when she couldn't wake the female agent. Dream He lay in her arms underneath the palm trees. His eyes were blank. They couldn't see anything anymore. His thoughts were gone; his hopes had vanished. There was nothing more to consider now than existence. It was all that mattered. As long as she was there, he was happy. Her hands played with his hair. His head rested on her lap. She looked down on him. Her eyes had never looked so longing. But she didn't kiss him. She didn't make an effort to please him. She was like a statue come to life, one that could not yet deal with her feelings. Her face was as blank as his. He didn't question her presence. Every single thought he'd had was gone. He would stay here until the end and he felt it was coming near. His perfect little world had changed into a place of unnatural colors, shadows and forms. The palm trees didn't look like palm trees anymore. The sand felt cold under his feet. The ocean water had lost its blues and whites. The waves seemed gray and dangerous. And the skies; the skies were dark and hostile now. And in the water rested that creature, waiting to devour him should he run. He had no intention of running anymore. This was where he wanted to be. Eventually to die in this perfect little world with its perfect little colors. And his foot kept on bleeding. Suddenly the waves seemed to change again. The colors returned to their original hues. The sky became a perfect blue again. In a flash the environment changed to its old self. He watched as it changed. She was still holding him but something about her had changed. She seemed nervous even though her expression was still blank and seemingly dead. From the beach a woman walked over to him. She was dressed in a business suit. She wore shoes. Her hair was neatly combed and seemed to dance perfectly on her shoulders. She walked steadily and with ease. Yet she seemed just as nervous as the woman besides him. It was Scully. Another Scully had come to be with him, to oppose the woman holding him. He crawled up and away from the first one, even though her hands had a firm grip on him. He shook her off and stood up, standing with ease on his injured foot. Soon he found himself in the middle of two women that were identical yet so very different. The first one was the woman he had dreamt about--the one that fulfilled all of his fantasies. She was everything that Scully was and had that bit extra that made her his perfect dream. She was sensual and sexual, but cold and demanding. The other woman was the Scully he knew. Her dress code, her manners, and her features--they all spoke business and distance. But he knew that this was the one he had counted on for years. The one he had fallen in love with in the first place. She didn't have to loosen up for him. She was perfect just as she was. And he realized that she had come for him. The first one, dressed in the yellow dress with little flowers, seemed angry that her rival had found her way here. Her dead, cold expression faded away and changed into hatred. She watched as Mulder limped towards the second arrival. She watched, and waited. The second Scully smiled as he walked toward her. Her facial expression spoke of urgency and anticipation. And above all, she seemed eager to talk to him. For the first time in days he heard a human voice. Her soft intonation sounded like music to his ears. "Mulder," she said, touching the skin of his arm. "I am so glad that I have found you. I have to talk to you. You need to know what is going on." He smiled as he hugged her, pulling her toward him. She froze, then relaxed and accepted his hug. But he could feel her tension when he let go of her. "I know now that it's you that I want," he said gently. "I don't need another version of you. I'm so glad you're here. I have to tell you so much." The second Scully's expression changed when she realized her partner believed she was a part of his dream. How could she explain to him that she was real? He had lived in this dreamscape for some time now. He would not believe her. "Mulder," she said as she took his face between her hands. "There is something I need to tell you. You need to know what has happened to you. This is not real. You have been unconscious since last night. Your body rests in a hospital bed, on a ventilator. Your mind has created this environment but something went wrong. You've been drugged, experimented on. This dreamscape - this paradise - it's a trap within your mind. It's slowly killing you." He smiled, resting his fingers on her lips so she couldn't speak. Don't speak. Just enjoy this paradise. This is my dream, Scully. This is where I want to be." "No, it's not, Mulder. This is all fake. Everything about it is a nightmare. It's preventing you from wanting to go back. But you have to remember how to get back. You have to want it. You alone can do this. If you don't, you will die." Mulder smiled. "Aren't I already dead? Isn't this heaven?" "No, it is not. This woman--the one that was with you--is a fake. Your mind created her; she was your fantasy. You believed it was me, didn't you? You weren't even looking for a way out. You wanted to be here and stay here forever. That's exactly what this drug does. Try to remember, Mulder. We were on a case. You were talking to the doctor. You left the lab. And we found you hours later in your own bed, dying. You were injected with a drug that has been altered. This paradise is your prison." Mulder's expression changed as he pushed the woman in his arms away and turned toward the other one that stood underneath the waving palm trees. She smiled her widest smile and stretched out her arms to lure him into her trap. The woman in business dress stood quietly as he turned away from her. Then he suddenly froze and stood again between them. He watched them both. They were so alike. All that divided them was their manners and clothes. He glanced at both of them. The woman in the yellow dress opened her mouth and spoke for the first time as she asked him to come to her. He took one step in her direction and stopped again as his vision of her changed. He blinked his eyelids forcefully as everything about her seemed to change. With the blink of an eye she became a monster, a creature with tentacles and a huge, devouring mouth. She became his nightmare. And the palm trees behind her moved and stretched out blades toward him. And the earth beneath him moved and rumbled. And the ocean became the enemy. "No," he said, simply yet firmly. "I'm not coming to you. You're not Scully." The woman's voice became a harsh snap as she said, "You're mine. You're staying." Slowly he shook his head and turned and walked toward the second Scully in the business suit, the one that had come to fetch him from his dream. He reached for her hand. Their fingers entwined; he leaned forward and kissed her. She closed her eyes and responded to his touch. His lips were soft and tender. His touch showed her that this was the deepest of his dreams. She had access to the most hidden, forbidden parts of his mind and she cherished every second of it. The earth moved beneath their feet. She heard him shout something and then it seemed as if the sand was falling apart and they were falling. The soft earth became their trap as they both fell. Scully slid away, into a hole that became deeper, and tentacles reached from the ocean and tried to grab her. "Mulder!" she screamed so loudly that the world seemed to stop for a second. He had fallen too, onto hard ground that protected him from being sucked in by the quicksand. He looked aside and saw her small body slide into the quicksand, and then into the layers of sand that were sucking her down. He crawled on his hands and knees toward her, grabbing her by the wrist. He wanted to pull her away from the abyss, but the tentacles were reaching for him. But they didn't touch him. They were around him but they didn't grab him. They just scared the shit out of him. She was a lightweight yet he couldn't hold her. Her wrist seemed slippery. He held onto her hand and fingers. The sand was stronger. It wanted its prey. He looked around for help. The Scully in the yellow dress stood before the palm trees. She hadn't moved an inch. She just looked at them. "Help me!" he shouted towards her as he held on to his real partner. "If you care about me, help me! Don't let her die." "Let her go and save yourself," the woman simply said. "She's a nuisance to you. She always has been. She deserves to die. Let her die and you can enjoy this paradise with me." Mulder felt her fingers slip from his hand. Her eyes begged for help. Mulder closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He alone could do this. He alone could help her. It was his dream. His fantasy. His nightmare. She didn't need to die. Reality Her heart was beating like a speeding train. They watched as the female agent convulsed. They had to help her. Yet when they touched her, they couldn't get her to loosen her grip on her partner. They clung together in their dreams. All Skinner could do was watch. Dream For the first time in his life he prayed as his hands refused to let go of her. Slowly the sand sucked at her body. He was going to be sucked in too. Suddenly he released his grip on her, and let himself slide into the quicksand with her. Instead of forcing himself away from the sand, he let himself be swallowed by it. He felt it grab his feet and legs, and then his torso. Then they were clinging onto each other. And the sand closed above their heads. And then they suddenly lay on safe grounds again, breathing deeply as they breathed in the fresh air. Scully opened her eyes and reached besides her, touching her partner's hands. Mulder lay with closed eyes but responded to her touch. He looked at her and smiled. He turned on his side and touched her face. "How did you know?" she whispered. "I'm not supposed to die in this world. The force that controls it, wanted to make me believe that I can and will die, but I won't. I'm supposed to be alive and enjoy all of this. If what say is right, I created this world. If I die, it dies too." She crawled up, staring at the tentacles that reached for them out of the ocean. They stayed at a distance, not touching them. She turned and saw the other Scully underneath the trees. Her image was fading. The color of the sand had changed again. The paradise was changing into ugliness. Mulder got up and pulled his partner to her feet, holding her in his arms. "You have to go," he said, "before you're punished for my dreams." "You're not to blame, Mulder," she said softly. "You were forced into this nightmare. You need to find your way out." "It's too late. There isn't a way out. It's over. Too late." "I refuse to believe that. There has to be some way..." He smiled. "I said that once too, Scully. A long time ago . when you were diagnosed with cancer I believed that there was a way. And there was. A miracle happened for you, but for me it's over." "No. No." She shook her head forcefully. "You have to fight your way out. The doctor said you could. You're too strong to die like this. You allowed me in your dreams to get you out of here. Mulder, please don't give up this fight. I'm begging you. I can't go back on my own. I need you!" He smiled, kissing her softly. "You have been so good to me. I love you so much. I cannot tell you this when we're both awake, but this is my dream and I can say whatever I want. I can't bear to live without you. But now you have to move on without me. You have to live, Scully." "You're sending me away," she said, shocked and unbelieving. "But I refuse to go! I can't go!" "Yes, you can." The sky turned a deep black. A storm broke. Lightning crashed through the skies. The palm trees shivered and shook in the wind. The tentacles became sharp blades. Mulder looked at them, and at the ocean. "Have I ever told you I'm afraid of oceans?' he said softly, as he stared at the waves. "I never took a dive in the ocean--you know why?" "No." "When I was five years old, my father took me to the ocean. I could barely swim but he wanted me to swim. He forced me in the water, telling me the water wasn't deep. Suddenly my feet couldn't find the ground anymore. I swallowed heaps of ocean water as it closed above my head. I couldn't get a breath. I couldn't tell how to get to the surface. I was drowning, and my old man left me there for seconds before realizing I wasn't swimming but dying. I never swam in the ocean since that day." He laughed all of a sudden. "Can you imagine an FBI agent afraid of both fire and water? If I had told anyone, I never would have passed my psych tests." "But you did," she said. "You passed with flying colors. You dove in swimming pools. You swam miles and miles. And you can do it again." Mulder smiled and closed his eyes as he let go of her. "Goodbye, Dana." Her voice still rang in his ears when she vanished. He wished for her to be gone, and she was. It was his dream, after all. His sweet dream. And when he opened his eyes, he was alone again in the trap his mind had set up for him. The ocean was calm again, the creature gone. And the sun shone. He walked over to the ocean and stared at the small rocks underneath the surface that caught the sunlight. The ocean was stretched out and infinite. There were no boundaries; no limits. He limped into the water, putting his injured foot in first. Then the other one followed. His jeans became heavy as the legs became soaking wet. A sharp pain cut through his legs. He looked down and saw the blades, sharp as razors as they scratched his legs. And there was the creature again, coming towards him with its enormous tentacles, to devour him. He smiled as he continued his movements and stood chest deep in the water. He hurt everywhere now as his body was cut. He had to go back, his mind screamed. He couldn't stand this pain! But he continued, biting his lip in pain and fear as he stood in the water, chin deep. Then he simply breathed in and out, and let himself slide into the water, lifting his feet from the ground. The sharp shots of pain took over as he swam the ocean he hadn't swum since he was five years old. He was so tired. So very tired. The water closed above him and he let himself slide away. He swallowed the salty water, taking it into his lungs. And then he just gave up. Reality "Agent Scully..." "Scully--Dana, it's me." She opened her eyes and stared at Skinner whose face was close to hers. He was leaning over the bed she was lying on. Something supported her head. She rested in the soft grasp of her partner's arms. "Mulder..." she sat up, turning toward her partner, who lay unmoving on the bed. Deep disappointment surged through her body. Her head sank down as she tried to remember what had happened. He had forced her to leave. He had wanted to protect her. And now... A nurse helped her to move slowly. Her head spun. She was dizzy, trying to get a grip on reality. The effects of the drug were still in her system. "What happened, Scully?" Skinner asked, as she stood weakly. "Did you--did you talk to him?" She wanted to answer when the heart monitor started beeping and showed a flat line. Mulder's heart had given up. "No!" Scully shouted so loudly that they all startled. Tears sprang to her eyes. He had given up and she couldn't bear it. She couldn't! "Don't do this," she shouted, ignoring Skinner's presence as she reached for her partner's face and stroked it the way she had done so many times before. The crash cart was near; the pedals prepared to shock him. She watched as they bared his chest, preparing him for reanimation. The tube was removed from his throat as they started to breathe for him. But as the doctor handled the paddles, a sudden beep startled them all. Scully stared in shock as the monitor showed that Mulder's heart had started to beat on its own again, sending a new wave of life into his body. "Mulder!" his partner said in disbelief, as she refused to give up her spot to the doctor who wanted to examine her partner. She knew he was waking up. She could tell by the way his body moved, almost invisible to the eye. Suddenly he coughed, turning his head slightly. A nurse handled the oxygen mask. Scully's hand kept on stroking his face as he opened his eyes. He was disoriented and stared at her. At first she thought he didn't know who she was. Then he gave her a smile that chased away all the demons. He knew who she was and where he was. He had trouble staying awake. His eyelids blinked a few times before they drooped again and closed, allowing him to sleep naturally. Scully turned toward the doctor, waiting tensely, as her partner was examined. "Unbelievable," the doctor said, as he finished his exam. "He's breathing regularly and naturally. It's like nothing ever happened. I need to run another series of blood tests. But--How can this be?" "I don't know," Scully said. "I don't care." Scully looked at Mulder's bandaged foot, realizing that underneath that bandage, the bleeding had stopped. She was certain of it. As certain as she was of the fact that her partner had overcome the worst of dangers one could experience; the battle against a nightmare that could have been fatal. Reality - the day after "Hey," she said, entering the room with a box of chocolates. "Are those Belgian chocolates?" he asked curiously, pointing at the box. "What do you think?" she asked with a grin, placing them on the small table next to the bed. "I picked them up especially." He grinned widely, reaching for the box instantly. She slapped him playfully on the hand and said, "Not yet. You have to eat regular food first. Consider this a reward for later on. He pulled a face and let go of the box, leaning back comfortably against the pillows. You caught him, didn't you?" "Yes, they did," she corrected him. "Skinner was determined to find Dr. Camden before he did this to anyone else. The virus has been destroyed. They couldn't risk it falling into the wrong hands." "Are you sure they didn't keep a sample of it somewhere?" "If they did, we'll find out sooner or later. But we shouldn't worry about that now." She leaned on the side of the bed, sitting opposite him, her face turned toward him. A very long time ago, she had seen him in a hospital for the first time, remembering the powerlessness she had felt then. That feeling of anger and fear, to watch as something happened to him that she couldn't change, had haunted her ever since. She had wanted to protect him above anything. But he had nearly died because some doctor had wanted to sell his discovery to the highest bidder, for biological warfare. "It wasn't your fault, Scully," her partner said softly, as he forced her to look at him. 'We couldn't know what Camden was up to. I couldn't have known he was there, waiting for me. I didn't see him coming. He was just suddenly there. I don't even remember it happening. I don't know how I got home." "He told us that he followed you to your apartment and caught you when you walked in. You never knew what happened. He left you on your bed, figuring you would die shortly. The effects of his drug worked too slowly, thank God." Scully shivered. "You found me in time, that's what counts," Mulder said. "You found me in my dreams. You... " he stopped, remembering what he had told her. "How did you know you had to face that ocean?" she asked gently. "I don't know. It just struck me. The 'gate', as you called it, could only be in the place I feared the most. That creature I saw was my fear becoming reality. I had nothing to loose. If I wanted to live - If I wanted to be with you, I had to face reality." Scully smiled and kissed him. He kissed her back. The End -- Happy is the heart of him who writes; he is young each day." -- Ptahotpe, c. 2350 B.C. Find San's Columns and The X-Files at http://www.sv-tales.com Nooooo Chris, Mulder LIVES!