From: phile1013@acmecity.com Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2000 19:15:34 -0500 Subject: "Tales of War" by Idalia Source: direct *NOTE* Please disregard my previous submission of this story: "Tales of War" by Jade (sent february 16th) Title - Tales of War Author - Idalia E-Mail address - Phile1013@acmecity.com Rating - G Category - Vignette Spoilers - Closure Keywords - Samantha Summary - Scully's thoughts as Mulder continues his search for his sister, mainly: how will the truth affect him when he finds it? Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I just like to mess with their minds. Feedback: Please! This is my first fanfic on Gossamer so any comments concerning this fanfic would be greatly appreciated!! Author's notes: I was thinking of possibly categorizing this as Vignette/Romance, but I decided not to since it's..well...not. Aside from the subtle undertones and whathaveyou in the back of Scully's mind, there's not enough there to categorize it as rom ance. However, if you're one of those hard-core anti-relationshippers, you have been forewarned. Now, on with the show: Why do bad things happen to good people? It is a universal question, one of many left unanswered. I ponder it now, seeing my partner suffer the way he does. He is torn--between his longing to find his sister alive, and his desperate need for an end to his search; an answer. Even if it means S amantha is dead. I want so badly to end his suffering; to extinguish this fire that burns at his soul--but I feel as if this is something beyond me. There is nothing I can do but stand by him in this maddening experiment of trial and error. I can do nothing but wait for him to fall apart, so that I can help him pick up the pieces of his shattered dreams and help him start over again. There is something here that is over my head. It makes me want to scream. I have alwayd been there to help him through his ordeals, but this is something different. This is his personal mission; his personal battle. It frustrates me that I cannot win i t for him. He must win it for himself. I am afraid to see him come so close to the truth. I am afraid of how it will affect him if he finds it. Surely it cannot be any worse than the torment he endures now...but can it? What will it do to him, to be betrayed by everything he belives in? To discover that he has looked so long and hard for his sister, only to find out that she is dead? She must be dead, I am sure of it. I try to make him understand, so that maybe I can dull the pain the truth will bring him--but he is blinded by this force that drives him to the brink of insanity. We stand at the edge now, so close to the truth. Wondering whether it is better to gain this knowledge,or be left ignorant. Waiting to be swept away by the riptide, or be carried safely to the other side. But it is no question for him now. He MUST kno w, no matter how terrible the truth may be. I will take the first step for him; I will test the ground and see if it is stable. I will be the one to see whether or not the snake is poisonous, and if it is, I will be the one to save him from it. I feel it is all I can do. But suddenly he is gone. He has decided not to wait for me. He has gone on by himself. His fate is in his own hands now--I am helpless to stand in his way. I can do nothing but resign--I will be here for him when he returns. I see him emerge from the trees now. Something is different. Something has changed, without a doubt. He has found the truth. What toll has it taken on him in his vulnerability? He is at peace. A feeling of relief overpowers me. He is finally free. I do not know or understand what he saw in his absence; I probably never will. But he has fought his battle and won it. I wait for him to tell me tales of war.