From: O0oLAo0O@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 20:20:57 EDT Subject: NEW: The Talker (1/1) Author: Lauren Koehler Title: "The Talker" Email: O0oLAo0O@aol.com Date: 7.3.99 Feedback: Oh, goodness, YES! Category: SA, a little R Keywords: Mulder Angst, a little MSR Rating: PG-13 or higher for profanity, violent overtones Disclaimer: they ain't mine. nor are any other recognizable things herein. Spoilers: Accidentally, the End, but not really. Eps where bad things happen to good people. Notes: I wrote this late one Saturday night. no editing has gone into this, so please forgive me for any mistakes, and if you id enough errors for me, i'll fix 'em and repost. Hope you like it, it was kinda spur of the moment after watching the rerun of Gethsemane. Enjoy!! Summary: Scully talks the talk. =-=-=-= ".....ring....." "Damnit!!" She looked around her room, and picked up the black phone in her jacket, still laying on the foot of her bed from the days earlier excursions. Remembering, a single tear managed to drift down her cheek. Angry with her own emotion, she swiped it away. ".....ring....." Scully reached over to her left, pulling the red-lit clock into her line of vision. "2:37, " she red aloud, "a.m." ".....ring....." "Hullo? Agent Scully." "Yes, Agent Scully," came a man's insecure reply, "ah, uh, we have a situation that we believe warrants your involvement." "Who is this?" Scully asked, now fully awake and starting to get the faint tinglings of worry, "Hello?" "Ah, this is the local PD, I'm Deputy Varnell. The situation involves Agent Mulder...." "Shit. What's happened?" She moaned, perturbed to be awoken by Mulder's antics at such an hour. "Ah, Ma'am, three men who dissapeared as soon as we arrived, well, they, uh, found him." "Huh? No, No, Wait, He's....d..d.." "No, no, Agent Scully!" Varnell reassured her as she slumped back onto her pillows, "But, you need to get over here as quickly as you can. We think he's asking for you." "You think...." she repeated as she pulled on her pants, zipping the denim up quickly before pulling on an oversized tee. 'Whoops, this is Mulder's," she thought, half amused. "Yes, Agent Scully. Please, just get here as soon as you can. Good Bye," The Deputy said curtly as she heard the click over the line. Scully slipped on a pair of Adidas sandals and grabbing her casual coat, headed out the door. =-=-=-= Dana arrived at Mulder's apartment, #42, in about half the usual time. The traffic had been light, due to the hour, and she had been speeding the whole way. She ran the stairs quickly, not wanting to wait for the lift, and arrived breathless outside her partner's door. "What's going on?" she panted, seeing the many officers and one 'talker' outside the door. "Agent Scully...." "Don't let her in!!" came Mulder's voice from within his apartment. Dana rose on her toes and peered through the door. All she could see was a faint mossy glow from the fishtank, and a suspicious dark spot on the opposite end of the couch. "Agent Scully, your partner's in there, with, ah, uh, a gun to his head." The Deputy who had spoken before said. Scully gasped, feeling her chest constrict. She looked around, panicked, and saw only the officers, their heads facing the floor, out of shame or reverence, she knew not which. "I'm sorry, do you...." "What have you done?" She asked, suddenly vile, "What have you tried, has he..." She pointed to the 'talker', "...been in? What's going on in there? You need to work on him!!!" "Agent Scully, he won't let us in, at all. We've been trying to talk to him from here, but every few seconds he breaks down. Screams something like, 'I'm so sorry, Scully. All my fault.'" Scully was assuaged with tears, knowing fully his meaning: first, Melissa, Then her cancer, then Emily. Now, her Mother. They knew that her death was somehow tied to the conspiracy, probably to rip Scully apart, tear her soul so that she would not have the will to continue: to uncover the truth. But little did they know, Dana Scully does not give in so easily, does not go down without a fight. Mulder, she knew, could not protect her nor her mother. No blame was placed on him, not by the family, even Bill avioded it. But Mulder, Scully thought, is the one who takes it all on his shoulders. It was his father's fault, she thought vehemently, he made him think that every bad think that ever happend to those around Fox were all his fault. Bill Mulder made Fox feel like his mere existence could injure someone, ruin their life. Suddenly, Scully pulled her head out of her ass. " Let me in." She demanded quietly of the cops clustered around her. "Let me in." She repeated. "Agent Scully..." Varnell said, warning. "Dammit, Varnell, you and this crew of jerk-offs let me in or I'll blow the door of myself!" Scully said, fixing an acrylic fingernail to the center of the young Deputy's chest. "Now." She uttered, whispering, showing Varnell she knew damn well what she was doing. One of the older cops resigned, and pulled out a lockpick kit. within moments the door was free. Slowly, after slipping of her shoes and jacket, she entered the room. Her wallet was in her back pocket, a plan formulating in her mind. Her throat was constricted in fear, terror, but her face did not show it. The only thing keeping her up was her professional facade, and even that was slowly slipping away into the raging river of her emotions. Softly, she uttered his name a few times before she heard a tense growl from beside his couch, " Scully, I told them not to let you in. I don't want you to have to see this." Mulder pulled in a wobbly breath, he had been crying. "Mulder, you don't have to do this. Mulder, please." Scully said, her voice wavering with each word. "C'mon Mulder, just put the gun down." "No...-sob-.....Scully, It's all my fault! -sob-" The tormented man pressed the muzzle of the pistol harder into his temple. "Just go. Please." "No, Mulder. This isn't going to happen. Just put the gun down, you don't need to do this." Scully took a few deep breaths. "Mulder it isn't your fault. Nothing of what has occured this past week is your fault. Not at all." "Goddammit Scully! Everything's fucking my fault!!" Mulder took a shaky breath before continuing. "Can't you see that? First, being the bastard that I am, I go and fuck up my sister's life. Then, my parents'. I was soo stupid my dad even hit me. I'm that stupid. Then, I go and fuck up your life...." Mulder trailed off, leaving Scully standing in front of him, half crouching. "...Scully, I fucked up your life so bad. Why are you still here with me?" "Because, Mulder," Scully said, trying to hold tears back unsucessfully, "Because we're a team. Spooky and the Ice Queen. Mulder and Scully. Rob and Laura. Mr and Mrs Spooky. We go together. I can't just leave that." "The hell you can't Scully. I'm just so pitiful and forlorn you want to stay with me, -sob-. You feel you have to babysit me. I keep you here like a little kid begging for attention. That's all I am. A screwed up kid who wants somebody to look at him and say, 'Look! There's really a person in there!' That's all I fucking am, Scully, so get away form me!!! I encourage you to run as fast as those little legs can carry you! As far away from me as you can get! Go fucking cut up people, go fucking find someone who's worthy of you! Scully, just go so you don't have to see me do this, 'Cuz it's gonna happen." "No, it isn't, Mulder." she sighed. "I want to be here with you. Don't leave me now. I know you're stronger than this." "Scully. First, I get your sister killed. Then, you get cancer. And then, the sweetest little girl, your dream, our angel, comes, and goes, and it's all fucking my fault!! And now, that bastardized group of assholes kills your mom just to get me off this quest of mine. How can you say it's not my faulr?" "Because, I could have left, put it behind me, and none of this would have ever happened. I could have requested reassignment the first day. But, Mulder, I didn't." She coughed a bit at the smell of liquor in the room. "Mulder, hon, can I turn on the light? Is that okay?" "Sure, fine." He mumbled, "Whatever." Scully gently flicked on the switch, and wallowed in the sight that the lights presented her. A completely empty, yet new, bottle of a generic, cheap, gin lay haphazardly on his coffee table. Mulder's clothes were sweatstained, he had been wearing them all day, and had obviously not bothered to shower since the Friday she had last seen him. He had not attended her mother's funeral, fearing he would be imposing. As Scully now looked into his hardened, hopless, and tear marred face, she could not help but let a tear course down her own. "Mulder. Don't. I need you." "No you don't, Scully. You are the strongest person I know. Far sronger than I ever was. You are brave, you don't care what other people think. You're proud. I know you're stronger than me, that's why you're going to go off without me and get back to the life you missed while I was ruining yours." Mulder snorted self derisively several times throughout, finally collapsing into sobs, " You don't need me, never have. Go." "Mulder," she cooed, "alot of people need you. The Gunmen," "No, they don't" "Your mother" "She's comatose." "Samantha" "Yeah, right, Scully. They don't need me an neither do you. I don't have any reason to live, Please, just fucking GO!" "No Mulder. You're wrong." She said gently. He chortled evilly. "One more reason to shoot out this lousy brain of mine." "Mulder. Listen. There have been 5 people in this life whom I have really, and truly cared for; those who I needed. Ahab's gone, Mulder. He was one. Then Missy, Emily, and Mom. " At this point, she pulled out her black wallet from her pocket, pulling the pocket-size snapshots out of a credit card pocket. There were five. She laid them out of the floor, all face up. First Bill Scully was turned over, then Missy, Emily Simm, and then Maggie. "Don't you see it Mulder? You're the last one. See? You're the only one left. If you leave me now, I have nowhere to turn, nothing that will hold me up. Mulder, I need you. And Mulder, there's one more reason. This is the most important. Mulder, listen to me. Mulder, seven years of work together don't just make people learn to live with each other professionally. I don't know what I'd do without you, Mulder, because...." fresh tears came forth from Scully's eyes, "....we are of one. Can'r you feel that? Mulder, our souls are forged of one, manifested in two bodies, destined to know each other in this life. Mulder, you are me and I am you. I love you. Can'r you understand that? I need you, this world needs you, to chase away the big grey men, keep us safe. Keep ME safe. Mulder, please, don't do this to the world. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to yourself. Mulder, put the gun down" With that she sighed, slowly raking her hand across her ragged features. =-=-=-= Slowly, cold, hard, unforgiving grey metal moved away from a man's head. Slowly, that metal hit the floor. Slowly, that man moved towards a woman. Slowly, they moved to hold each other. Slowly, Their tears joined the metal on the floor. Finally, the man said, "I'm sorry." =-=-=-= Later. -Lauren =-=-=-= welcome to the dungeon...make yourself comfortable... =-=-=-=