From: =?iso-8859-1?q?MK?= Date: Tue, 18 Jan 2000 18:57:42 +0000 (GMT) Subject: xfc: *New* Thin Lines II: Crossroads (1 of 1) by MK. Source: xfc From: =?iso-8859-1?q?MK?= Sorry for the cross-posting. TITLE: Thin Lines II - Crossroads. AUTHOR: MK E-MAIL ADDRESS: Mystique_Kat@yahoo.co.uk DISTRIBUTION: Yes to Gossamer. Others please as permission, and keep my details attached. SPOILER WARNING: None. RATING: PG. CLASSIFICATION: V, A. KEYWORDS: Mulder/Scully UST. SUMMARY: Mulder POV. Sequel to Thin Lines. He thinks about where his relationship with Scully is at and where it could be. Feedback very much appreciated and always eventually responded to. ~*~ There comes a time in every relationship where you find yourself at a crossroads. You have a choice between staying on the road you were on, the safe road and between taking a new road, the risky road. Scully and I are at the crossroads. We are at the point in our relationship where we have to decide whether to continue on the road we're on now, the road with a platonic but deep friendship that is more than both an ordinary friendship and partnership. Or we could chose the other road, the one we have been in danger of straying to for the last five, six years of our relationship. There is nothing that is really standing in our way. The Bureau and the people pulling the strings have suspected we've been walking on that path, that side of the line, for years. If they knew we had never given in to our feelings, not once, they would probably be surprised. What we have is too important to lose, though. Too important to risk on what could be a casual fling. Scully and I silently and mutually decided at the beginning that we would not risk our friendship and our partnership until we were both ready. Ready to commit to each other and our relationship one hundred percent. I don't think Scully truly believes me when I say I'm ready. I know she has been fully committed to me for the last few years, just as I have been to her. But she has shown her commitment and devotion more times than I can remember. It's not that I haven't shown her how I feel. I do, I do regularly. The only difference is that I have a commitment to my quest for the truth, my quest to find my sister. At one time, my quest was my first priority. It was for a good ten years at the least. Scully still thinks it is, she thinks my first priority is still my work. It isn't. It's still important to me and still takes up a lot of my life but it's different now. Scully shares my passion and determination; it has become her quest as much as mine. I'm not sure if she knows I've realised that, though. Scully and I are equals. We always have been and we always will be. I don't always act like we are, I know that. I know I am unnecessarily over-protective sometimes because she can take care of herself. She's proved that to me on more than one occasion. Still, it's not something I can control easily. Although we are not lovers yet and never have been, I know Scully better than anyone else does. I know her better than her own family, just as she knows me better than anyone else in the whole world. She is seen by most to be a strong, confident, independent woman. She is. She is also seen to be a complete professional and she is. But anyone who thinks she is anything other than a warm and loving person is mistaken. They just don't know that side of her, it's not the side she puts on display for everyone to see. She's tough and isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes in, even if it is me. I've seen most of the sides to Scully, the secret ones as well as the others. The ones I haven't seen are the ones I know I someday will. Scully is also vulnerable and afraid. She hides it, of course, even from me. But I see it, when she doesn't think I'm looking. I'm standing at the crossroads and Scully is right behind me. The only thing that is stopping us from choosing the road that has been tempting us for so long is fear. Scully's fear. My fear. Our fear. The day will come when we will confront it and face it together. Hopefully, that day will come soon. We will stand together, at the crossroads, and will cross the line that separates us. We will chose the road we have come close to choosing many times before. And we will do it together. I have lost most of the people I let get close to me. The others have betrayed me. It took me a few months to trust her with my career, a little longer to trust her with my life and it has taken me six years to trust her with my heart. I do not give my trust away easily. And I rarely give my love and my heart. Scully is the first person I have truly trusted enough to give my love to. And it scares me to feel so strongly about her. The main fear preventing me from taking that final step with her is that she will hurt me or that I will hurt her. I would rather die than hurt Scully. If Scully hurt me, which I know somewhere deep in my heart that she never would - never intentionally, anyway, - it would be worse than the most painful of deaths. Someday, hopefully someday soon, we will talk about our fears and face them. When we're both ready, when the time is truly right and when neither of us have any doubts. That day is coming. Soon. The End. Dedicated to everyone who sent me feedback on Thin Lines and to my best pal, Jo. I'll see ya soon, girl :~) ===== *~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~* Mystique_Kat@yahoo.co.uk " The heart is a place of great power and magic, But is also our greatest weakness." *~*~*~*~* *~*~*~*~*