From: stormlantern Date: Mon, 04 Sep 2000 19:12:28 GMT Subject: REPOST: Things That Go Bump In The Psyche (MSR) Title: THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE PSYCHE From: stormlantern29@hotmail.com Keywords: MSR Spoilers: Well, the Fowl One is mentioned; otherwise, none Disclaimers: Mulder,Scully, The Lone Gunmen, etc. all belong to Chris Carter and 1013 productions. Please, sirs, don't sue, I truly mean no harm... NOTE: This story was one of my first fanfics, and was written in script form, a form that, at the time, I felt most comfortable with. Here's hoping it won't interfere with your enjoyment... ************************************************************************ (THE SCENE IS A CREEPY FOREST. THE TIME IS LATE AFTERNOON. WE SEE 2 FLASHLIGHT BEAMS PIERCE THE GLOOM AND INTERSECT; THEN THEIR WIELDERS, MULDER AND SCULLY, APPEAR, COMING FROM OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS) MULDER: See anything? SCULLY: Nope. No ghosts, phantoms, apparitions, monsters, spirits or anything else that has supposedly been sighted here. I think we're on a wild spook chase. MULDER: Well, a lot of people have seen *something* here, Scully. Over a hundred sightings so far. (He peers at a large black box in his hand) SCULLY: Actually, Mulder, there may be a scientific explanation for supernatural phenomena. MULDER: Yeah? SCULLY: Yes, there's a theory that in the presence of strong, chemically charged emotion, the atmosphere, under certain conditions, might act like a photographic negative...that bursts of emotional energy might imprint themselves on the atmosphere, and that, again under certain conditions, the atmosphere may "play back" a visual recording of those imprints...and that's why you hear about "ghosts" pacing endlessly around castle walls, going up and down stairs, re-enacting historical events...the same actions repeated over and over... MULDER: Hmmm...a photographic effect, you say? SCULLY: Yes. An emotional projection onto an atmospheric emulsion. MULDER: So you're saying that your average ghostly sighting might just be a Kodak moment? SCULLY: In theory, yes. MULDER: Oooh, spooky. In that case, under the right conditions, any strong emotion might be projected and played back at the moment it happens, right before your eyes. SCULLY: That's...theoretically possible. MULDER: Wow. Who needs Spielberg? SCULLY: (chuckles) Well, anyway, all I know for sure is that we've been tramping around these woods for nearly two hours and we haven't seen a thing. MULDER: Yeah, and I'm not getting any readings on this ecto-detector either. (Taps the black box in his hand) SCULLY: Mulder...where did you get that thing? That's not standard FBI issue. MULDER: No, it isn't. I borrowed it from a friend of mine. I'll introduce you to him sometime. Name's Egon. (taps the device again, shakes his head, slips it into his pocket) Tell you what, let's do one more circuit and call it a day. SCULLY: Works for me. (SCULLY and MULDER start walking through the woods) MULDER: Speaking of ghosts, Scully, I've been wondering... SCULLY: Yes? MULDER: What famous couple do we remind you of? SCULLY: What? MULDER: What famous couple do we remind you of? SCULLY: Well, I've never given it much thought, but...Nick and Nora Charles? MULDER: Ummm...nah. SCULLY: Steed and Emma Peel? MULDER: Mmmm....I don't think so. SCULLY: Well, what's your choice, then? MULDER: Remember those old Abbott and Costello movies, you know, the good ones, with the monsters in them? SCULLY: Uh... MULDER: And Costello was always telling Abbott he saw something, and Abbott would never believe him? (SCULLY stops dead and glares at MULDER) SCULLY: Mulder, we are NOTHING like that. MULDER: We are EVERYTHING like that. (SCULLY turns on her heel and walks away. MULDER runs to catch up) SCULLY: Mulder, I do NOT appreciate the comparison. MULDER: Hey, hey, I was just joking. Keep your shirt on, at least until you're in a better mood. (SCULLY stops, turns and glares at MULDER) MULDER: I mean, at least I'm not comparing YOU to a dumpy fat Italian. SCULLY: No, you're comparing me to Abbott, a tall, lanky man with a big nose - (she clears her throat and looks away as MULDER eyes her narrowly) SCULLY: ...which is not very flattering. MULDER: Thanks a lot. (SCULLY and MULDER resume walking) SCULLY: Actually, a more accurate comparison to us might be...Donny and Marie Osmond. MULDER: Say WHAT? SCULLY: Well, some people think our relationship is brother-sister, you know. MULDER: Well, such people might know. Talk about inbreeding... SCULLY: Well, whatever feelings we have certainly haven't been consummated, and maybe it's better that way. To do so might ruin our partnership. It might interfere with your quest. MULDER: And those are the reasons you and I can't, shall we say, do the deed? SCULLY: Well... MULDER: Screw that, Scully. SCULLY: Mulder... MULDER: I mean it. Screw those reasons, screw the FBI, screw the Consortium... SCULLY: What about Samantha? MULDER: Well, I can't, Scully. Unlike you, she IS my sister. SCULLY: (suddenly angry) Very funny, Mulder. That's so like you. It's all just words, isn't it? MULDER: What, you don't think I'm serious? SCULLY: Of course not. You never are. Except about the X-Files. MULDER: That's not true, Scully. What about...what about when you wanted to quit? SCULLY: What about it? MULDER: Well, you know, when I...when I tried to...I mean, no words there, Scully. Just lips. You don't always need words to read lips, you know. SCULLY: But it didn't mean anything! It didn't mean anything at all! (She backs away, glaring) MULDER: How can you say that? Jesus, what brought this on? SCULLY: What about Bambi? MULDER: What? SCULLY: What about Phoebe? MULDER: Scully, wait - I think I see something moving - SCULLY: Words, Mulder, just words. MULDER: Scully, over there - (MULDER draws gun and aims it at a clump of trees) SCULLY: I don't see anything. MULDER: Christ, Scully, how can you not see that thing? It's huge, with glowing green eyes! SCULLY: You're funny. I'm not looking. And stop being evasive. MULDER: Scully, I think you're agitating that thing - SCULLY: What about Detective White? WHAT ABOUT DIANA FOWLEY? MULDER: Christ, it's charging me! (A huge dark shape, with glowing green eyes, lumbers out of the trees and lunges at MULDER. He empties his gun into it. SCULLY draws her weapon and fires also, but nothing stops the MONSTER. It backs MULDER up against a tree and crouches in front of him, growling) SCULLY: Oh my god. MULDER: Suddenly, I wish Egon were here. SCULLY: Mulder, what...what is it? MULDER: I think it's a remarkably solid apparition. Basically insubstantial, but... (The MONSTER growls louder) MULDER: ...with an attitude. SCULLY: Bullets didn't faze it. What do we do? (Pause) MULDER: Scully...I'm getting one of my hunches...j SCULLY: By "hunch" you mean as in "soda pop machine"? MULDER: ...yeah. I think I know what this thing is. SCULLY: Wh-what? MULDER: It's a green-eyed monster. Doesn't that tell you anything? SCULLY: You mean...you think it's...what we talked about earlier? An emotional projection onto an atmospheric emulsion? MULDER: Make that "YOUR emotional projection" and that would be it, yes. SCULLY: Oh my god, Mulder, is that possible? MULDER: It's not only possible, it's drooling on my shoes. SCULLY: Mulder, I'm sorry. I'll...I'll try to call it off. MULDER: ...that would be nice. SCULLY: (clears throat) Go away! Leave him alone! I...I didn't mean it! (The MONSTER's growls intensify) MULDER: Something tells me you're not being sincere... SCULLY: Mulder - of course I want it to go away! I don't want it to hurt you. MULDER: Sure you do, Scully. I hurt you. You want to hurt me back. It's human nature. SCULLY: Mulder, that's not true. I don't - MULDER: Well, not mortally hurt me, maybe that's why this thing's held off so far... SCULLY: Mulder, maybe YOU need to call it off. MULDER: What? SCULLY: Maybe you need to talk about why this thing came into existence. MULDER: Maybe I'd rather let this thing eat me... (The MONSTER snarls at MULDER) MULDER: Christ, Scully, this thing has teeth! Just how long have you subconsciously submerged this particular issue? SCULLY: Mulder, all I can tell you is...maybe you should try some of that "truth" stuff you keep talking about. MULDER: Okay, okay. (Pause) MULDER: (clears throat) I assume the issue here is "jealousy". To begin with, Scully, I had no idea... (The MONSTER stops growling, but stays in position) MULDER: I mean...Bambi? Phoebe? Detective White? Diana Fowley? They were nothing. (The MONSTER growls) MULDER: I mean in comparison. (The MONSTER subsides) MULDER: Look, Scully, the next time you're p*ssed at me, would you mind talking to me about it? This thing's huge! SCULLY: We're talking about it now, Mulder. MULDER: Right. (Pause) MULDER: Look, Scully, when I met those people...what did I know about love back then? (The MONSTER sinks to the ground) MULDER: My father betrayed me, my mother rejected me, my sister left me... (The MONSTER's outline begins to blur) MULDER: So when I met women who betrayed, rejected and left me, yeah, that was love as far as I knew. (The MONSTER keens softly and the light in its eyes fades to gray) MULDER: It's funny, but during all our years on the X-Files, I've learned more about - the opposite of those things - than I have about my sister... (The MONSTER slowly fades to mist. MULDER steps through it and walks over to SCULLY, his eyes fixed on her) MULDER: ...but anything more you can teach me on those subjects, Scully, believe me, I'm more than ready to learn... (The MONSTER is gone. MULDER slips his arm around his partner as they walk back to where the MONSTER once lay) SCULLY: It's gone. MULDER: Yeah...but maybe not for good, huh? SCULLY: Well, we'll do our best. (MULDER chuckles and pulls out the ecto-detector, checking the dial on front) Well, according to this thing, SOMETHING was definitely here...doesn't say exactly what...what do you know, Scully, it looks like the scientific explanation for ghosts might be the correct one after all. SCULLY: There's a first time for everything. MULDER: Yeah...well, what do you say we chalk this one up to "natural atmospheric phenomena" on our reports and called it a closed case? SCULLY: Fine with me. I'm ready to pack it in. Funny, I feel emotionally...drained. MULDER: Know what you mean. (MULDER and SCULLY resume walking through the woods) MULDER: By the way...you never answered my question. SCULLY: Hmmmm? Oh, you mean about what famous couple we remind me of? MULDER: Yeah. And don't say "Donny and Marie". (SCULLY chuckles, then falls silent for a moment. Then she slips her arm around MULDER's waist) SCULLY: Mulder, are you pondering what I'm pondering? MULDER: (leans in closer) I think so, Scully, but how can we get together if it'll ruin the show? SCULLY: We'll worry about that TOMORROW night. (MULDER and SCULLY walk away into the deepening twilight) MULDER: Why? What are we doing TOMORROW night? SCULLY: What we do every Sunday night, Mulder...try to save the world. -- Hester a.k.a. "stormlantern" - (definition): wreak a little havoc, shed a little light