From: "Linda Fayne" Subject: Repost *again* "Things You Can't Forget" Date sent: Sun, 16 Nov 1997 06:21:19 PST Title: "Things You Can't Forget" Author: Linda Fayne Rating: PG Classification: SRA Spoilers: The Blessing Way Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance Summary: Scully asks Mulder about something he can't lie about, even if it means confessing his deepest secret... ******************************* "Things You Can't Forget" Finished: 091197 Author: Linda Fayne E-mail: lfayne@hotmail.com or: linda.fayne@usa.net This piece of fanfic was born during a really boring evening. My sister was occupying the computer, so I couldn't write on my ff master-piece (hm...) or answer any e-mails, and I was run out of chocolate, ANGST!! And I was too restless to watch some old eps of TXF on TV, or do my homework. So I wrote this by hand - wow - using words from my English homework (gotta be efficient:) )!! Everyone who've tried to write fanfic by hand know how much it sucks, so read it on your own risk !! I'm a `shipper at heart, so this story contains LOTS of *MULDER/SCULLY ROMANCE*. I've also included some angst, but not very much. You can read it without getting nightmares . There's a spoiler from The Blessing Way, and I'm rating this PG; it's just a short piece of mind-candy. Who I'm dedicating it to?? Margi, of course, my shippy e-pal and an excellent ff-writer, who's (im)patiently waiting for me to finish SM2TU III. :) At last: the characters and situations of "The X Files" don't belong to me; then I wouldn't have to write fanfic about them, would I ?!?! They are all the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. The LOVE is out there Enjoy :) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "Things You Can't Forget" Chapter I / II "Mulder, I don't deserve this!" Dana Scully was standing in front of her sister Melissa's grave, on the small cemetery in a nice and quiet part of Washington. Despite her efforts to hide her feelings, Scully couldn't prevent the tears from filling her eyes whenever she visited the grave. More than a year had passed since her older sister had died, but the memories of the terrible "mistake" were still as painful, and kept haunting her. Some things are impossible to forget, even if you want to, and Scully had painfully been forced to experience that. The knowledge that the bullet that'd killed Melissa had been intended to her, didn't make it any better; on the contrary, it added huge amounts of guilt to her conscience. For an outsider, it was hard to believe that someone could feel sad a day like this. It was a beautiful spring day; the sun was shining from a clear blue sky, after days of rain and heavy clouds. Spring-flowers were eagerly jostling one another in the flower-beds, and the trees were filled with buds. Scully had been tired after a haunted, sleepless night, so Mulder had insisted on that they took the rest of the day off, and they'd left the Bureau after lunch. Knowing her too well to need to ask her what her dreams'd been about, Mulder had gently suggested that they bought some fresh flowers and visited Melissa's grave, and Scully had nodded her agreement. So now, they were standing her, in front of the grave. Mulder had chosen to stay in the background for a while, in purpose of letting Scully have some minutes in privacy with her sister, and with her sorrow. Mulder knew that Scully hated being vulnerable, especially in front of other people. So he stayed out of the way. He knew that Scully felt guilty over what had happened, and so did he. After all, it was he who'd dragged her into that dreadful cat-and-mouse-game about the government's secret tape. But what made him feel even guiltier, was that when Scully had told him "She died for me" the same night in the hospital room, he'd thanked the gods-that-might-be that it *was* Melissa who'd died. Because he'd never been able to carry on if he'd lost Scully. But Mulder had long ago learned to live with the guilt - his own sister's disappearance so long ago still haunted him. Scully hadn't had the time to let her feelings sink in the same way, and standing here just watching her so sad, was almost tearing him apart. Mulder wanted to hug her, to rock her and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but he didn't dare to. Probably, Scully wouldn't want him to do that, either. She hadn't spoken a word since they'd gotten here, so this sudden outburst almost made Mulder jump. He gently approached her, and lightly put his hands on her shoulders. "I know, Scully", he said in a low voice. "It's not your fault. I'm -" Scully interrupted him by vigorously pulling away from him. "I didn't mean that, Mulder", she said quickly. Her tense expression softened a little. "I mean you. I don't deserve you, Mulder. I don't deserve you being so nice to me." Mulder was stunned. He didn't know what to say to her, what to answer on this sudden "accusation", or whatever was suitable to call it. This was way too confusing. Instead, he merely kept looking at her, waiting for her to go on. Scully tilted her head slightly, her silky, auburn hair falling forward to frame her face. "Mulder, I want you to know that this meant a lot to me", she said. "Why did you do it? Why are you so nice to me all the time?" She tilted the corners of her mouth upwards in a tiny smile. Mulder felt himself blush. Why was he so nice to her? The answer was simple, but so hard, if not impossible, to say. He'd kept it to himself for so long, knowing that one incautious word could ruin everything he and Scully had together. He valued their special friendship higher than anything, and he knew, that there was no way he could carry on if she left him. She was his partner. His best friend. His truth. His trust. She was everything he believed in. He closed his eyes and hoped that someone would hear his silent prayer and screw back the last minutes, so he could change what'd been said. But no-one did, and as he opened his eyes, Scully was still watching him intently, her eyes pools of glittering blue, far too close to him. He could almost feel their breaths mingle together, and automatically pulled back a few steps. He looked down at his hands, and pretended to study his nails intently for a couple of seconds. "Because...", he finally said, feeling like his voice could cut glass in the silence that surrounded them. He met her eyes again. She was still looking at him, her gaze asking, but still full of trust and affection. He hesitated one more moment before he continued. "Because you're my partner. Because you're my friend, I care for you!" he finally managed to say, choosing the words carefully. That was true, wasn't it? So why did he still feel like something was missing? Why did he feel so awful? Why didn't he dare to look at her? Suddenly he knew why. He couldn't lie to her, not about this. This was too serious. He closed his eyes. Feeling like the whole world was falling apart around him, he barely audible whispered: "Because I love you." End Chapter I / II *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "Things You Can't Forget" Chapter II / II The silence that hang over the cemetery like a thick blanket was almost unbearable. Not a single blade of grass moved, and certainly not either of the two people who were its only visitors. The lanky, dark man in the grey trench-coat and the shorter, read-haired woman in the darker coat remained silent, motionless, for what seemed like an eternity for them both. Eventually, as on a silent command, they both moved simultaneously. Realising that he'd been holding his breath, Mulder let out a deep sigh and drew a shaky hand through his short hair, as he opened his eyes. Scully avoided them and let her gaze examine the ground in front of her feet for a second, before she looked at him again. Their eyes locked immediately. "Mulder", Scully said, hearing her own name on his lips at the same moment. They both interrupted themselves and shared a brief smile. Funny, Mulder thought, that they could still do that, in spite of the situation. "Mul-" Scully then started again, but he interrupted her. "No, Scully, listen. What I said was the truth, but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in any way. You just forget about it, okay?" "Well...", Scully said, not sure of how to put the words. She was still shocked by Mulder's honest confession. He had showed her a whole new side of him, but yet, he was the same guy he'd always been. Her partner, her friend, her... love. "I can't forget about it -" she finally said. Mulder gently squeezed her upper arm, as if he was afraid that she'd run away. "Scully, look, we don't have to change anything -" he quickly said, his voice turning more desperate, but now it was Scully's turn to interrupt him. "No, Mulder, listen to me, please", she said, having a hard time not grinning like a fool. Mulder nodded solemnly. "I can't forget about it, because I don't *want* to forget about it", Scully explained. Mulder looked puzzled, and she tilted one corner of her mouth upwards in a lop-sided smile. Hesitantly, she reached out to rest her palm against his cheek. "Thank-you, Mulder", she softly said. "For what?" Mulder asked. Her light touch was having a slightly dizzying effect on him. Scully smiled. "For being honest with me. Thank-you for loving me." Putting her hands on his shoulders, she placed herself on tip-toe. Slowly, she leaned in towards him, and brushed her lips lightly against his. Mulder didn't dare to move, in case he was dreaming. Mesmerised by the sensation of her lips, the lips he'd always dreamt of, against his, was hypnotising, and it took him a moment to realise what she was actually doing. The kiss ended far too soon. He looked at Scully and tried to read her expression. She was having that teasing, tiny Mona-Lisa smile, and he arched an eyebrow in confusion. "Scully?" he asked. She reached out to squeeze his hand. "I love you too, Mulder", she told him. She watched as a lovely smile broke out in his face to grace his features, and he squeezed her fingers. "I guess that makes us even", he said, and she laughed. "As always", she replied. He hugged her tightly as they kissed again, this time longer and more fully. As they pulled back, Scully smiled at him. "I couldn't let you win, could I?" she asked jokingly. Mulder chuckled. He looked at the gravestone, that was shining in the sun a couple of yards away. "Whatever happens, Scully, we'll get through it together", he promised. Scully smiled back to him. "I couldn't agree with you more", she said. Following his gaze towards Melissa's gravestone, she knew that it was true. Whatever happened to them, they'd always be together. And she already felt much better. THE END *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Thanks for reading!! Comments? Criticism? Credit? :) Just send it over this way: or *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Join the "Poor Philes Who Haven't Seen The Damn Pilot" -Society!! (PPWHSTDP-S) E-mail me: linda.fayne@usa.net *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*