From: "Heather Miller" <heather_ludlow@hotmail.com>
Date: Sat, 02 Oct 1999 17:47:53 GMT
Subject: New fanfic
Source: direct

                   THINK TWICE

AUTHOR: Heather Ludlow <heather_ludlow@hotmail.com>
RATED: G
CLASSIFICATION: VRA, MSR
ARCHIVE: Gossamer's OK. Others, please ask first.
SPOILERS: No.
FEEDBACK: Give it to me baby...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully or the Celine Dion
song "Think Twice". End of story.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ehum, I don't have time to write it. Doh. <g>
SUMMARY: Mulder is leaving but a song on the radio makes him Think Twice...

X x X x X x X x X
Think Twice
by Heather Ludlow
(heather_ludlow@hotmail.com)
X x X x X x X x X

    The scene in front of me is so absurd that I hardly
can watch it. Most of all I want to shut my eyes, and keep
them that way 'til it's over. But I know I can't, 'cos
if I do, I'll lose him.
What should I do without him?
What would I be?

"Mulder, don't do this. I know you don't want to."
The words slipps out of my mouth and I feel a bit disappointed
about them. I mean, I could've said something better. That would make
him understand he don't wanna lose this.
Everything we have done, the relationship of trust we've built.

"I'm sorry Dana. I can't stay here when I know
that Diana needs me."

<No, she doesn't need you. What the heck Mulder,
you know she only wants to use you!>

"My plane's leaving in an hour. I've gotta go."

"But...Mulder..."

He lifts the bag placed by his desk.

<I can't lose this. Maybe he can, but I can't.>

"Mulder I don't want to lose this."

"Time's running away Dana..."

He takes the last steps to the door.
When he walks out of that door, he doesn't
only walk out of his office and his work
the last six years, everything he's fighted for, his hope
to find his missing sister, he also walks out of my life,
and all we had, he's leaving.

"Then I'll guess I have to...say goodbye."

"I suppose so."

I kiss him on the cheek and try my best
to hold back the tears. He opens the door, and
for a short moment takes my hand in his.
The radio's playing in the background, all the songs seems
sad, but my eyes fills with tears when I recognize the saddest
of them all, which starts playing.


<Don't think I can't feel there's something wrong
You've been the sweetest part of my life so long
I look in your eyes, there's a distant light
And you and I know there'll be a storm tonight
This is getting serious
Are you thinking 'bout you or us

Don't say what you're about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice
Baby think twice

Baby think twice for the sake of our love,
for the memory
For the fire and the faith that was you and me
Babe I know it ain't easy when your soul cries out
for higher ground
'Cos when you're halfway up, you're always halfway down
But baby this is serious
Are you thinking 'bout you or us

Baby this is serious
Are you thinking 'bout you or us

Don't say what you're about to say
Look back before you leave my life
Be sure before you close that door
Before you roll those dice

Don't do what you're about to do
My everything depends on you
And whatever it takes, I'll sacrifice
Before you roll those dice
Baby think twice>

When it's over, even Mulder shows a tendense to cry.
Not much, but I can see small, dotty tears
on his eyelashes.

"Am I...am I leaving your life, Dana?" he asks,
now looking really sad in his puppy-dog eyes.

"Yes." I softly nod, suddenly afraid of his reaction.

But he doesn't shout, doesn't try to defend himself,
doesn't throw away his bag, doesn't break anything in two pieces.

He starts crying.

Sad tears, filled with anger. And he pulls me close
to him, holding me like he would never let go.

"I'm sorry" he cries.

"Me too" I whisper.

Why I say that, I don't know. Or, I know,
I'm sorry he's leaving. 'Cos I'm not sure he will
change his mind.

Then he pulls away so that he can look at me,
and what I see in his eyes makes me sure.

He is leaving.

"I love you" he whispers, kissing me softly
on the lips. "I want to think twice, but
it feels like everything is done here,
I can't live my life without changing a bit of it.
And, besides, everything is finished, it feels
like there's nothing I can do. I'm in their hands Dana."

"You don't know what you're doing. They'll
use you...prove to you they're not such bad guys...
but for me, they'll always be the ones who took my life.
Diana is with them. And you know that Fox."

The use of his first name seems to touch him,
and he lets go of my hand and looks into my eyes.

"I know Dana, but this is what I must do.
I promise you to take care of myself, as long as
you promise me to take care of yourself. And I promise you
I'll come back to you. Someday.
Until then, be brave. I will return."

And off he goes.
And here I am.
Still here.
Always here.

THE END

To be continued?

Hmm...what about that one, then?
Send comments to: heather_ludlow@hotmail.com

"I trust him as much as anyone.
I trust him with my life."
-Dana Scully about Fox Mulder