From: "May Star" <mayday5000@hotmail.com>
Date: Fri, 23 Jul 1999 13:21:11 MST
Subject: Thinking
Source: direct

Title: Thinking
Author: May Star
Spoilers: Mention of Diana Fowley
Rating: PG
Category: MSR
Feedback: Sure, but be gentle..this is my first fanfic  
Mayday5000@hotmail.com
Archive: If my name and everything is there, sure
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me, they belong to CC, FOX, 
and 1013, which I thought that everybody knew
Dedication: To Ray and Jay...you are my inspirations..hope you like it
Summary:  I don't think that it needs a summary, cause you can just read it.

Thinking (1/2)
   "I can't believe that you're taking her side!" Special Agent Dana
Scully shouted at her partner.
   "Diana is fighting for the X-files.  I believe in her.  She wants
to help us find the truth," replied her partner, Special Agent Fox
Mulder.
   Ever since Diana Fowley, Mulder's ex-partner and ex-girlfriend came
back into  Mulder's life, Scully and Mulder had been having this same
fight over and over.  Scully knew that Fowley was no good and that she
was working with the Cancer Man, but she couldn't make Mulder see it
too.
   "And I don't?  After I've worked with you for 5 long years, giving
up everything for you, you're still willing to believe that...slut over
me!" Scully shouted as she moved closer to the door, without breaking
the constant eye contact that she and her partner had been holding.
They had been standing in the middle of their basement office arguing
for nearly 25 minutes.  Both were trying to get the other to see the
their side, but neither one would listen to the other.
   "If these years have been so bad, why are you still here?"asked
Mulder angrily.
   "I don't know!  I guess I felt sorry for you being down here all
by yourself.  But know that you have your precious 'Diana' back, I
might as well leave!" Scully yelled as she grabbed for the door
handle.
   "Fine!" retorted Mulder.  This made Scully even more furious.  She
stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind her.
   As she made her way to her car, she tried to figure out why she had
stayed with Mulder so long.  She had wanted to help him find the truth,
so he could get on with his life.  It appeared that would never happen
though.  Not with Diana constantly sabotaging them.  But there was
something else. Some reason why she had stayed.  She just couldn't put
her finger on it though.
   <I can't believe she said that> Mulder thought.  <Diana has never
done anything to her.>  He went back to his desk and sat in his chair
with his feet up on the desk and his hands behind his head.  He
needed to think.  Was Diana more important to him than Scully?  He
could join up with Diana again, or he could stay with Scully and not
see Diana anymore.  But Diana had always tried to help them...why
couldn't Scully see that?  He had to think.
   As soon as Scully got home, she started making calls.  First her
mother, to tell her what had happened, and then a call to the Assistant 
Director, telling him to expect her resignation from the X-files and
the F.B.I. by the end of the day.  She sat down at her computer and
typed up her formal resignation, and a letter to Mulder.  She put them
both in plain, white envelopes, and had a messenger come pick up the
resignation for delivery.  She held on to the one for Mulder.  Could
she really give it to him?  She didn't know.  She put Mulder's letter
on the coffee table, switched off her phone, and went and laid down on
her bed for a light nap.  Sleep always helped her think more clearly.
   He needed to talk to Scully.  He needed to konw if she was really
going to leave him this time.  He had thought it over, and decided
that he needed Scully in his life.  He had to talk to her.  He had
called her, but her cell was off, and so was her regular phone.  Mulder
hoped he wasn't too late.  Just as he was leaving his office, the
phone rang.  He ran to it hoping it would be Scully.  It was just a
recorded message saying he had a message waiting at the front desk.
He hurried out of the office, so he could get his message before going
to Scully's.
   As he was nearing the lobby, he could see Diana standing there,
holding a letter and a plain, white envelope.  He slowed down, and
stopped, watching her from a distance, behind a potted bush.  She
finished reading whatever it was, put it in the envelope, and shoved
the envelope into her coat.  She pulled out her cell phone, and
started talking to someone.  When she walked by the spot where Mulder
was hiding, he heard her say, "Scully is leaving Mulder finally...it
worked."  Once she had blown past him, he headed for the front desk,
only to find out that his message, which was a typed letter in an
envelope, had vanished.  It made Mulder wonder about some things.  He
went to his car, and sat there awhile, thinking.
   Scully had made her decision.  She would give Mulder her letter,
but not in person.  She got into her car and drove off, to his
apartment, where she would leave the letter.  Then she would start
planning her future.

Thinking (2/2)
   When Mulder got to Scully's, she didn't answer her door.  He let
himself in, and sat on her couch, waiting for her to return.  He had
finally realized that Diana was deceiving them.  It all made sense,
once it dawned on him, when her saw that she was reading his message.
It must have been his, since she had been talking about Scully leaving.
Now he wanted to know the truth, but first he had to apologize to
Scully.  If only she were here.
   Scully let herself into Mulder's apartment.  She laid the note on
his couch.  Could she really leave just leave it, and not say goodbye
to him?  Scully couldn't do that to him.  No matter how mad she was,
she just couldn't stand to hurt him.  She sat on the couch and flipped
on the TV to wait for him.
   Mulder had been waiting for Scully for almost an hour now.  He got
bored, so he decided to play with her computer.  It had been left on.
He decided to see if she had written anything recently.  The computer
showed she had written 2 things today.  He knew he shouldn't read them,
but he just couldn't help it. The first was her resignation.  <Wow,
she was actually going to leave him> Mulder thought.  The second was
written to him.  He read it over.  <I have to talk to her now.>
   After 2 hours, Scully gave up.  I'll talk to him later.  She picked
up her envelope and left, leaving him a note to call her.  She headed
back home.
   Mulder stretched out on the couch, dozing off for awhile.  He was
woken up by the jingle of keys in the door.  He jumped up from the
couch, and raced for the door.  He unlocked it for her, and let her in.
   "What are you doing here," Scully asked him, as soon as she closed
the door behind her.
   "I needed to talk to you," Mulder replied.
   "What about?" she asked, sitting down on the couch.
   "Well....do you need something to drink?  I'm thirsty....I'll go
get us something," Mulder said, as he hurried into the kitchen.
   "Wait.  Mulder stop," Scully said, quickly following Mulder into
the kitchen, stopping him before he went into the fridge with a gentle
hand on his shoulder.
   "You wanted to talk to me about something, so what is it?  I have
things to do," said Scully.
   "What hand in your resignation, and leave without saying goodbye?"
he said quickly, and shrugging off her hand.
   "I waited at your apartment for 2 hours, and you weren't there," she
said.  How dare he accuse me of leaving without saying goodbye.
   "I was here.  I tried calling you, but you had your phones off." he
said quickly.
   "I didn't want to talk to you when I was angry.  Now why did you
come here?" she was tired of this.  She just wanted to know why he was
here.
   "I needed to tell you that I was wrong about Diana." he said.
   "Why are you finally believing me now?" Scully asked suspiciously.
   "I saw her reading a letter that was meant for me when I was leaving
the office to come here.  And she was talking to someone about us.  I
finally see what you were talking about," he said.
   "It sure took you long enough.  I'm sorry. I'm still slightly upset.
Why were you coming here in the first place?" she asked, leaning
against the countertop.
   "I wanted to make sure that you weren't going to leave me, without
me telling you that I..." he started.
   "That you...what?" she asked.
   "I need you in my life.  I don't care about Diana or anyone else.  I
just need you.  I love you, and just love for a friend.  I'm in love
with you.  I'm sure you don't feel that way too, but I couldn't let you
leave without telling you that.  And now I feel like a jack ass, and
so I'm going to leave." he said quickly.  There, he said it.  He
started towards the door.
   Scully stood there for a minute.  What had just happened?
   "Wait Mulder.  Don't go," she said, grabbing his arm and bringing
him back to face her.
   "Scully, at least let me leave with some dignity," he said, without
even looking at her.
   "Mulder, would you shut up for a minute?  I want you to hear
this...," she said, but stopped, so she could look at his face while
she said this.  She gently touched his chin, and pulled his face up to
meet hers.  "I love you too.  I couldn't leave without saying that to
you."
   The joy in his eyes showed that he had meant what he had said.
Mulder no longer regretted saying it.  He pulled her close to him, and
wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly.
   "I never want to fight again," he whispered in her ear.  He brought
her face up to meet his and placed a light kiss on her lips.  Scully
smiled and deepened the kiss.  She had discovered why she had stayed
with him so long.  She loved him, and he loved her.  For this moment,
everything was perfect.

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