From: "Leslie Cummings" <scully9485@hotmail.com>
Date: Wed, 17 Jul 2002 20:00:03 +0000
Subject: Resubmission: This is the Miracle
Source: direct

Title: This is the Miracle

Author: Barenaked Bostonian

Rating: PG

Category: MSR

Spoilers: Existence

Feedback: Surely, although I reposted this and realized how much it suck, 
but sure! Go right ahead! BNLXPhile12@aol.com.

Disclaimer: I am the almighty God, ruler of 1013 and Fox... NO! I don't have 
schizophrenia! Jesus! This is SUCH a thankless job!

Distribution: Have fun, keep my name attached and drop me a line though 
please.

Notes: Why do I write? Seriously? WHY!?!?!

Summary: Mulder contemplates the miracle that is his child.

I looked at the child smiling in my arms.  He moved. He giggled, and I was 
so overwhelmed at the feelings inside me I wanted to cry.  But I didn't. So 
I spoke to her. To the angel in front of me, to my child's mother.

"The truth that we both know."  I say and look into her eyes. Into her soul.

"And what's that?" she asks, somewhat confused, but knowing exactly what I 
mean.

And I kiss her.  Softly, so that I can let her know what I'm feeling. And 
for a moment I feel that I have made a terrible mistake.

Because she is not kissing me back.  But in that moment, she gives me 
permission, so I continue.  And she grasps my arm softly to pull me closer, 
we have to be closer.

I love this woman. I have never felt love like this before, and I know that 
I never want to feel any more than this again.

For she is Mary, and this is the Blessed Miracle.  And for her I am so 
happy,
but I know that this requires so much effort on my part, and I don't know if 
I can take that. I don't know if...I don't want to let her down.  Because I 
have so many times already.

But this is our miracle. Together, this is our child created from a higher 
source.  Perhaps from, Him.  But He has not been all that kind to me and I  
don't know if I can accept the fact that there is a power who gave this 
child to her, but took so much else away.

And the pain is overwhelming for me.  I can't handle it.  I kiss her harder, 
no longer needing oxygen because I have longed for her for so long.

And *she* is my truth.

And *he* is my truth.

This little William, who just hooked me under the chin and giggled.

He looks at me like he knows me.  Like he knows that *I* am his father. That 
I am meant to be with this woman, his mother.

And I am part of a family.  I am a father, and I want to be a lover.  If she 
will let me.  Because I want to make her happy.  I want to *try* to make her 
happy.

Somewhere, somewhere along the line I fell, for her in all ways that a 
person
can.  Maybe it was saving her life, or was it her saving mine? Or was it us
saving each other. Like we have on countless times, and will continue to.

Forever.

And the clors swirl in my head as I kiss her.  As one of her tears runs down
my cheek, it outlines our lips.

And this is the miracle.

This kiss.

This baby.

Us.

*END*

Okay, once again, everyone keeps telling me that I should make these longer.
I PROMISE THAT I'M TRYING! The *KISS* was the best.  I jumped off my bed
and started screaming.  It was perfect. Was it not?

Well, MCAS is OVER! THANK GOD! So, I'm in YTE again and got bored and wrote
this, so if it sucks, uh....blame Kelly!

ThAnK yOu!
Leslie