From: Alexkdg@aol.com
Date: Sun, 8 Sep 2002 18:21:56 EDT
Subject: Three Wishes (1/1) by Alexia
Source: direct

THREE WISHES (1/1) 
BY: Alexia (alexkdg@aol.com)

DISCLAIMER:  If Jenn had given me three wishes I would wish 
that Mulder and Scully were mine <g>.  Unfortunately they 
aren't mine, and instead belong to Chris Carter, 1013 
Productions etc. etc.  I'm still gonna have fun playing 
with them though!

SUMMARY:  Just a little vignette following on from the end 
of 'Je Souhaite', which finished way too early.  I wanted 
to know what the occasion was.

CATEGORY: VR (Vignette, Mulder/Scully Romance)

RATED: PG

SPOILERS: Je Souhaite, minor for Per Manum and various 
episodes from season 7.

ARCHIVING NOTES: Sure, anywhere, as long as you let me know 
(alexkdg@aol.com)

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  This is my first completed X-Files fic 
so feedback, good or bad, is most definitely welcome.  
Also, all kinds of gratitude to the amazing friend who 
inspired me to write this, and convinced me that it wasn't 
bad <g>.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

Settling further into the couch, Scully giggled as Mulder 
tossed his bottle cap in the same direction she had, but 
missed by a mile.  Maybe this night would more fun than she 
had thought, considering the testosterone-fueled movie she 
was being forced to watch due to Mulder's sudden desire to 
have a classic American movie night.

"So uh, what's the occasion?" she asked, inclining her 
head, a little curious as to why particularly he'd invited 
her over tonight.  Not that the invitation was unwelcome.  
For two people who spent so much time together, they rarely 
shared their downtime.  But lately, the lines between the 
professional and personal aspects of their relationship had 
been blurring...the reasons for saying goodbye on Fridays 
after work becoming less clear.

He looked at her thoughtfully for a second before replying, 
"I don't know.  It just seemed like the thing to do."

Tilting his beer bottle towards her, he said "Cheers" as 
glass met glass.  Sneaking a glance at her, he thought 
about what she had said to him that afternoon in their 
office, and about his final wish.

"I don't know if you noticed but, um, I never made the 
world a happier place."

Scully appeared contemplative then, looking as if she was 
choosing her words carefully.

"Well, I'm fairly happy.  That's something." 

The smile that broke out across her face caused his breath 
to hitch in his throat, and he found himself unable to 
answer her.  He never could resist that smile, especially 
since she shared it with him infrequently.  Not trusting 
his voice to be steady, he merely gave her his best Mulder 
grin in return, understanding that what she was saying 
meant more than the words themselves.  If she could be 
happy after all they had seen, all they had done, then he 
must be doing something right.

As the recorded video announced the beginning of the movie, 
Scully looked sideways at him, having to ask the question.

"So what was your final wish, anyway?"

Her only answer was a cryptic smile.  But he looked 
ridiculously pleased with himself so she let it drop, 
trusting that he'd made the wish she hoped he had.

* * * *

A few hours later, and Mulder was smiling once again as he 
looked at the sleeping redhead beside him.  To give her 
credit, Scully had hung in there as long as possible.  Her 
head had slipped sideways more than once, but she had 
managed to jerk it back up and focus on the movie with as 
much enthusiasm as she could muster.  However, about half 
an hour before the credits her body had given up the 
pretence, and she had melted sideways into him, her head 
finding a pillow on his shoulder.  He wasn't complaining at 
this turn of events of course.  He would rather she slept 
cuddled up next to him than watch the movie any day.

If he was honest with himself, this had been the occasion.  
When he had asked Scully to come over, all he had wanted 
was the opportunity to be close to her in this way.  He 
wished they could be this way more often.  Wished they 
could keep the demons at bay and enjoy the pleasure of 
being together without the pain. 

"I wish..."

He didn't realise he had spoken the words aloud until he 
felt Scully stir slightly in her sleep.  Holding his 
breath, he waited until she relaxed and burrowed her face 
closer in to his body.

What did he wish, he wondered, as he clicked off the TV 
mid-credits.  Besides his grand and foolish plans for 
mankind, what did he wish for himself and Scully?  After so 
many years, could they possibly have anything more than 
what they were already lucky enough to have?  The love and 
trust that existed between them left Mulder shaking with 
its intensity.  Wanting more was almost inconceivable.  
Almost.

Okay, so it was conceivable.  

Mulder had always had to work hard to fight the attraction 
he felt for Scully.  Today had been no exception.  Watching 
her get so excited over the invisible body while covered 
with appealing yellow smudges had made him ache to pull her 
to him and kiss that adorable smile of hers.  Most of the 
time he found it possible to push the desire away, 
realising that it wasn't worth upsetting the delicate 
balance of their relationship for the sake of a sudden 
hormonal urge.  

But the rest of the time...the rest of the time was 
becoming an increasingly difficult problem.  Each time she 
revealed a new layer of herself, the more beautiful she 
became in his eyes.  And he couldn't always tell himself 
that she didn't feel the same way.  He saw the way she 
looked at him sometimes.  He recognised that look because 
it was identical to the light that shone out of his eyes 
every time she walked into a room.  So maybe there was room 
in their relationship for something more.  Maybe one day 
they could have everything.

The thought sent an electric thrill coursing through him, 
followed by an equally powerful wave of pure love.

Laying his head gently against the red one beside him he 
closed his eyes, questions with no answers chasing each 
other in his head as he drifted into dreams of a world that 
was messy and cluttered, and full of violence and evil.  
But a world that had Scully in it.  

Thank God.

* * * *

It was the sound of rain against the window that finally 
roused Scully from the coma induced by sitting through 
'Caddyshack'.  Blinking as she drifted to the surface, 
Scully's sleepy brain made two observations.  That the 
movie was over.  

And, more interestingly, that she was no longer sitting 
next to Mulder on the couch.  No, she was definitely not 
sitting anymore.  Instead, she was draped across her 
partner's body, held in the strong but gentle circle of his 
arms, and from the sound of his breathing, Mulder was fast 
asleep.

Scully tensed as she came more fully awake, wondering how 
she could slip out of his embrace without waking him, and 
then pulled herself up short.  What was she thinking?  It 
was so rare that she got to enjoy his physical presence in 
this way without being afraid that he would see her true 
feelings in the way she looked at him and touched him.

Because she was afraid.  

Afraid that her love for this man was written on her face 
as plain as neon lights flashing above her head would be.  
She wasn't quite sure when it had become so hard to conceal 
the way she felt.  After she had returned from the Ivory 
Coast to save him from the manipulations of the Smoking Man 
and Diana Fowley?  After their sweet kiss at New Years that 
had held so much promise? 

Or after their failed attempt to give Scully what her heart 
desired, the chance to become a mother.

He had waited in her apartment the night she had taken the 
pregnancy test and had held her when she had come home, 
lending her his strength by giving her the shelter of his 
warm arms.  And as she had cried out her frustrations and 
her fears that night she had relinquished completely 
something that had always seemed so important to her, her 
emotional independence from Mulder.

Since they had met, Mulder had been apt to fly off the 
handle at the slightest provocation.  He felt far too much, 
which left him vulnerable to more pain and heartbreak than 
any one man deserved to experience, even though this deep 
capacity for emotion was a quality Scully secretly loved in 
him.  Consequently, she had taken the role of yin to his 
yang, needing to be strong enough emotionally to sustain 
both of them.  

But they were throwing out the old rules now.

As Mulder had held her that night and stayed until morning, 
she had felt her strength sweeping through him, and his 
passions flowing through her, until she was hardly sure 
where he began and she left off.  The discovery had not 
scared her; rather it had led to a sense of profound peace.

Yet now she was scared.  Scared that their moment had 
passed, and that she didn't know how to ask Mulder for more 
than they already had.  Or if it would even work.  Because 
the one thing Scully could not countenance would be losing 
what they shared.  She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that 
she loved Mulder utterly, mindlessly.  To lose him now, she 
was sure would break her.

Her musings making her restless, she reluctantly decided 
that it was time to leave.  The feeling of waking up in 
Mulder's arms would be far too easy to get used to.  And 
until she had conquered her fear of taking the next step, 
she couldn't allow herself the indulgence.

Lifting her head from its pillow of Mulder's chest, and 
sneaking a look at his face to ascertain how fast asleep he 
was, she was startled to find his sleepy hazel eyes gazing 
into hers, a soft smile flirting with the corners of his 
mouth.

"Going somewhere, Scully?" he murmured lazily, and she felt 
the vibrations made by his words ripple through her, close 
as he was holding her.  The sensation was breathtakingly 
intimate.

And as she looked at him, frozen in place, she realised 
that she was at a fork in the road.  If she chose the first 
path, she could look away and banter a little about 
sleepovers being outside of Bureau regulations.  Mulder 
would release his grip on her and she would stand up, 
missing his warmth the instant his arms fell away from her.  
They would make small talk as she waited for a cab, he 
would rib her about being unable to sit through the movie, 
and then she'd smile and kiss his forehead before he shut 
the door.

Then she could go back to an apartment that felt empty 
without him, kicking herself all the way for her 
frustrating habit of ruining the moment, and being too 
scared to give herself to Mulder completely.

Not tonight.

With startling clarity, she realised that his question was 
all she needed to take the other path in the road.  Because 
it was up to her to make the first move.  She knew with 
certainty that Mulder wanted more than the status quo.  And 
she was equally aware that it was her own fears that were 
holding them up.  Because he would never pressure her to 
give him more than he thought she wanted, it was time to 
show him what she wanted.

Mentally taking a deep breath, she looked Mulder straight 
in the eye and answered the deceptively simple question.

"No, Mulder.  I'm not going anywhere."

Resting her arms on his chest, and her head on her arms, 
she waited.

Your move, Mulder.

* * * *

This was the game they played.  The 'let's get close but no 
closer' game.  Scully would sometimes fall asleep at his 
apartment like this, often in his arms, but she rarely 
stayed the night.  He would wake up in the early hours of 
the morning to find her sneaking out of his apartment, 
anxious not to disturb him.  He invariably did wake though, 
because even in sleep he was aware of her presence.  When 
she left, it felt like a part of him had gotten up and 
followed her out of the door.  

So he would get up and tease her about staying the night as 
she called a cab, adding a comically overexaggerated leer 
to let her know that he didn't mean anything by it.

Only he did mean it.  

He loved her so very painfully.  So very powerfully.  And 
he wanted their relationship to progress, but knew that 
this could only happen if Scully gave him a sign.  So many 
of her choices had been snatched cruelly and arbitrarily 
from her over the years, the most significant of which 
being the decision of whether or not she wanted to have a 
child.  

Mulder had died a little more when she had found out that 
the fertility treatment hadn't taken.  As he had held her 
that night, as she had uncharacteristically let her guard 
down in front of him and cried out her pain, he had come to 
a decision.  She would dictate the pace of their physical 
relationship.  No matter how much he wanted more, she would 
be the one to choose.  Ruefully, he realised that it was 
the one thing he could give her.  

Tonight though, after he had experienced for an hour a 
world without Scully, he wanted her to stay in his arms.  
Wanted it so badly that it was a physical ache.  So when he 
felt her wake up and start to tense, and when she lifted 
her head to look at him, he couldn't help asking her 
something inane like if she was going somewhere.  Resigning 
himself to the darkness that would inevitably follow her 
departure, he was preparing to release her from his 
embrace.  Therefore, her answer struck him dumb.

Stupidly, he ran over her words in his head, sure that he 
must have misunderstood, or maybe that he was still asleep 
and that this was the best kind of dream.  Looking down at 
Scully's face, which by now wore an amused smile at his 
very obvious confusion, Mulder realised that it was way 
past time to give her an answer, since gaping at her 
idiotically was probably not the best response.

Was this his sign?  Were the rules of the game going to be 
broken with wild abandon tonight?

Feeling a foolish smile breaking out widely across his 
face, he gazed into her dancing eyes.

"Well, good then."

* * * *

In the end it had been easy, she mused, as he tightened his 
arms around her, and pulled her up so their faces were mere 
inches apart.  The motion sent delicious shivers of 
anticipation through her, and she couldn't prevent a 
whispering sigh from escaping.

The look on Mulder's face had been priceless.  If his jaw 
could have dropped, cartoon-style, it would have done so.  
The image made her chuckle a little, and she buried her 
face in Mulder's neck.  The last thing she wanted was for 
him to think she was laughing at him.  

Because she was laughing for sheer joy.  When was the last 
time she had felt like this?  So blissfully happy.  She 
couldn't remember.  

"So what's the joke, Scully?" Mulder asked finally, as she 
gave no indication that she was going to lift her head from 
the curve of his neck.  But he sounded just as happy as she 
did, so she assumed he hadn't taken offence.

"Oh..." she replied, the sound muffled against him.

"I was thinking about Genia, Jenn, whatever you want to 
call her."

Mulder softly hummed the theme from 'I Dream Of Jeannie' 
for the second time that day, and was rewarded for his 
efforts with a delighted Scully laugh against his throat.  
The sound was his undoing, and his pulse started beating a 
jackhammer tattoo against the inside of his chest as it 
finally began to sink in that this was real.  He was 
holding Scully close in his arms, could feel her slight 
quivering, and they were standing on the edge of a 
precipice.

One step further, and they would be soaring.

Licking his lips slightly, he was surprised to hear his 
voice come out in a husky tone several shades lower than 
usual.

"What would your three wishes have been Scully?"

* * * *

Finally she lifted her head to look at him, the unsteady 
note in his voice matching her own trembling.  The look in 
his eyes robbed her of coherent thought, so full as it was 
of desire.  She had lost herself in those mercurial depths 
a thousand times or more, but this time she knew that if 
she let herself fall, there would be no hope of surfacing.  

Pushing the hair from her face, she lifted a hand to cup 
his jaw, awed by the way he closed his eyes at her touch, 
fortified by the love she saw when he opened them again.  
Dropping her eyes from his face she spoke roughly. 

"I would wish that Melissa was still here, safe and happy."

Memories of her sister flooded through her.  For fear of 
breaking down she didn't look at him, but she could feel 
the sorrow and comfort that radiated from him in equal 
measure.  Pushing away the bittersweet ache that always 
accompanied thoughts of Missy she quickly moved on.

"I wish that I could have given you back Samantha."

His answer was low and hoarse, but fierce. "I know you do 
Scully.  I know you do."

Raising her eyes to his face she saw a single tear pool in 
the corner of his eye, and she reached up quickly with a 
thumb to brush it away before it could fall.  Tonight was a 
night for new beginnings rather than old sorrows.  But she 
could see peace in his eyes and the ghost of a smile on his 
lips, so she knew he was reliving happy memories of his own 
sister too.  Dragging her thumb down the line of his jaw, 
she paused, considering how best to phrase her final wish.

She'd never done well with grand declarations of love.  And 
besides, she and Mulder far removed from sappy Hallmark 
moments.  Those were made for regular couples who didn't 
bear the weight of the world on their shoulders.  No, their 
most intimate exchanges usually required no words.  Or else 
came in the form of subtext that neither of them had felt 
ready to develop at the time.

Sitting in a car waiting for Eugene Tooms.  Iced tea.

Mulder returning her cross to her after her abduction.

Sunflower seeds at Area 51, and her bold declaration that 
she'd kiss him if he hadn't been so damn ugly.

'Mulder, it's me.'

'Mulder, I'm fine.''

This time though, they would get it right.  Casting her 
mind back to their mysterious experience that day with 
Jenn, she finally found the words. 

"Je souhaite...que je pourrais vous dire je t'aime."

Wondering if Mulder could decipher her halting French, she 
held her breath...and released it suddenly as his hand moved 
tenderly to the back of her neck.

<I wish I could tell you that I love you, Mulder>.

"Scully, you just did." he breathed reverentially.  

Finally jumping from the precipice with no safe landing 
place in sight, he pulled her down to him, and their lips 
met in an electric kiss charged with years of longing and 
love.  His hands tangled in her hair as the kiss deepened, 
and she shifted atop him, fitting perfectly into the curve 
of his body.  It was everything he had dreamed of, 
everything she had longed for.  It was everything.

And they needed no more words.

* * * *

FINIS

* * * *

Like it?  Hate it?  Let me know at alexkdg@aol.com