From: Jolee Patkai Date: 13 Feb 2002 19:37:37 -0800 Subject: Fan Fic - Time Enough Source: atxc TITLE: TIME ENOUGH BY: JOLEE PATKAI DISCLAIMER: All characters are property of FOX and 1013 Productions. This is the story as I pictured it unfolding when Doggett discovers Mulder's empty apartment. This is my own imagination working overtime....Enjoy! E-mail: julius.patkai@pei.sympatico.ca Washington, DC 8:00 pm ________________ The door opened, and they stood across the threshold from each other not daring to speak. Their eyes seeking, but retreating from each other..time standing still. An awareness was sparking between them, an awareness that neither wanted to acknowledge, for to do so would be too awkward...to strange...to wrong! What had started this , and where would it end? Dana Scully stood holding her baby nestled in the curve of her breast, her buttons undone, nursing interrupted by the insistent knocking at the door. She was flustered, her cheeks flushed and her mouth parted in agitation. She knew he would come, but even knowing had not prepared her for the accusation she saw in his eyes, nor the panic written plainly on his rugged face. She could see his hands clenched in fists and his legs spread apart, as if expecting a battle! If it was a battle he wanted, a battle she would give him. God knows..she had been fighting enough of them over the past 8 years. His eyes drank in the sight of her, standing there on the offensive. She clutched the baby to her chest, unconsciously using him as a shield. Her silk blouse was undone and it strained across her milk engorged breasts, the nipples standing out in sharp relief. He knew he was staring, but didn't give a damned anymore. He clenched his hands and prepared himself for the wrath he knew was about to be directed at him. He had crossed a boundary here, he knew he had, but just who had set the lines of battle was a mystery to him. He had certainly started this relationship off on the wrong foot, but he had thought that in the months since that unfortunate meeting, he had gained her trust, maybe even her friendship. Had he been so off target? Had he let his feelings for her cloud his vision? He only knew that this time, he was not going to leave quietly. This time, he was going to lay claim to something he had, until now, let slip through his fingers. "I was just at Mulder's apartment, Dana, and it's empty! I panicked..I thought you would be gone, too. I tried to call you, but you didn't answer!" Doggett couldn't keep the shakiness out of his voice, as memory returned at the fear that had gripped him upon finding Mulder's apartment bare, and all traces of the man gone. His first reaction was one of shock, and then anger had coursed through his body. They were gone! They had up and left, together! After months of searching for a phantom, he had returned only to take away what Doggett wanted....needed most. Scully! The extent of his emotions were now permanently displayed in the hole he punched in Mulder's apartment door. His next action had been to speed over to her apartment to see if it was so. And now here he stood, hand throbbing, blood oozing from the self- inflicted wound....evidence of his loss of control. "I turned the phone off because of the baby, John...I didn't want it to wake him." "Why are you here? It's late, and I'm very busy!" Saying this, she turned away from him and walked determinedly into the bedroom. "Where's Mulder, Dana? Where'd he go?" He followed her into the apartment, shutting the door, with a snap. "What the hell is going on here....?" There was no noise from the bedroom, and impatient for answers, he strode through the door unannounced. Startled, Scully scrambled to cover herself, indignant that he would dare to cross the boundary of her sanctuary. William began protesting at the loss of his fragrant supper, kicking his legs and crying. Doggett stood silently taking in the sight of her. She sat in the rocker, her blouse off her shoulder, nursing William. Her white breast open to his gaze, the dusky nipple beginning to pucker in response to his presence. She tried to cover herself and settle the child at the same time, but he was having none of it. The baby only wanted her. Although Doggett enjoyed the picture she made, he took pity and crossing the room, he draped a soft blue baby blanket over William, his hand brushing her shoulder as he laid it in place. Soon, sucking sounds could be heard, as William continued his feeding. "Thank you, John....but I wish you wouldn't come in here. I wish you wouldn't come here, at all!" "I'll let you settle William, but then, we are going to talk, Dana. I want some answers...I deserve some answers. I'll wait in the kitchen!" Turning back toward the door, he paused and asked in a voice just above a whisper, "Dana....why did you stop trusting me?" The only answer, was her indrawn breath! Looking back he watched as she closed her eyes, unable to meet his blue gaze. She saw the emotion in his, knew the affection this man had for her. There would be time enough, later, to shatter that feeling. She didn't know if she could survive the loss of his friendship, especially now, with Mulder gone, again! But she knew she had no choice other than to make him hate her..make him leave her.....never to return. Time enough for that later.... ________________ She could hear him moving around in the kitchen, filling the kettle with water, switching on the stove, and searching in the cupboards for mugs. William was now sleeping, her nipple barely held in his mouth, holding on even in sleep. All the men in her life were holding on to her for one reason or another. How much more could she take? How much more did she have to give? Carefully placing William on his back, she covered him with the soft baby blanket Doggett had so gently placed over her shoulder. He had so many sides to him, she just didn't know what to make of it all. Why was he here....apart from the obvious..to find out where Mulder was. She somehow didn't think this was all there was to it. Sighing, she walked through to the kitchen, buttoning up her blouse as she entered. Doggett turned from the counter, his mouth going dry at the sight of her. She was fumbling with her blouse, and trying to look like she was not bothered by his late night visit. But she wasn't fooling him. "I made you a decaf tea, Dana, cause I figured with the baby and all...well.." "John..stop...WE need to talk. I don't know exactly why you came here, so late, but I want you to know that Mulder is gone, and that's all I'm going to say on the matter!" Slamming a fist on the counter, he hissed as his other knuckle burst open! "Christ sakes, I cannot believe this bull shit! Did I not just spend the past 6 months finding this guy for you? Did I not watch you fall apart time and time again for the want of him? What are you telling me...what..that he just up and left you, when you need him the most? I'm not buying it!" Moving across the room, Scully grabbed his hands and squeezed hard. "John...this is really none of your business! I don't have to tell you anything, but if you must know...I asked him to go!" Looking into her blue eyes, brimming with unshed tears, he tried to read the truth in them. What he saw, made him swear even more. His body was tensed with the need to hit something, anything, as long as he could stop the look he saw in her face! "This is nuts, Dana! Do you love the guy or not? Does he love you??" "Why are you doing this to me, John? Why do you ask me that? What Mulder and I feel for each other is personal, and this decision we made was for the right reasons...all the right reasons, so just drop it!" She started to turn away from him, saying, "You wouldn't understand!" His hands came up and closed on her shoulders, preventing her from turning her back on him, yet again. He was fed up with seeing her back...she was supposed to be watching his, and all he had been doing for the past six months was chasing her around. Always two steps back and never really getting her attention. It was like Mulder's ghost was always there, putting up a wall between them. He had wanted to tell her how he felt more times than he could count, but always he had held back...respecting Mulder's right to her. But Mulder had left her..again! And why? Because she had asked him to? He didn't understand Mulder or his feelings for this woman, but if he felt even a quarter of what Doggett felt, wild horses wouldn't have made him leave her. Just looking at her caused his heart to spasm. Made him all weak inside and he had never even tasted her lips, felt her embrace, nor heard her call out in need. How could Mulder have just left? "You're right there, Dana, I don't understand. I don't understand how a man, like Mulder, could just walk away from you, just because you asked him to. I don't understand how someone who has spent their life facing danger could just run like a scared bunny when danger threatens him...and leave you alone to protect William. Christ...I don't even want to understand him..cause I don't have to. I had started to respect him, even though I spent months resenting his hold over you. I hated him for walking into that abduction and leaving you to mourn for him over and over again. I hated him for killing whatever hope you had inside you and leaving you a shell, who couldn't or wouldn't see when someone, right here, loved you. So...don't make me understand...just know that I am not the kind of man who would ever leave you to save myself....NEVER! And don't kid yourself, Dana, that's exactly what Mulder did!" "GET OUT....you son of a bitch...you know NOTHING!" Sobbing, Scully tried twisting out of his grasp, his words cutting her to the quick. Making her see what others saw and realizing that it was true. Mulder hadn't protested too much when she had asked him to leave. The threat on his life was real, and she had only wanted him to be safe...but she had hoped he would have tried to find a way to stay with her and William. She had hoped that he would have begged her to come with him, into hiding. But he hadn't! Their parting had been sad and bitter and she had been left standing alone, feeling empty! She hadn't heard from him in weeks, and John had hit a raw nerve with his words. He let her wiggle out of his arms, and watched her walk away from him, her shoulders shaking. But he didn't let her make it to the door. He was not about to let her walk out of his life, this time. Silently, he moved up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, crossing his hands over her stomach and pressing his face into her hair. She shook her head from side to side as silent sobs wracked her body. Her head dropped forward in total dejection, and it was all he could do not to yell to the heavens at the hurt being thrust upon her. Without warning, Scully turned in his arms and seized him around the waist in a fierce hug. She was surrendering to him. Admitting that she was broken and hurt by Mulder's leaving, and that something she had once been so sure of, was now in doubt...left in dust around her feet. Had she really loved Mulder, at all? Or had she just been in love with the image? She had spent years following his lead and him around the world, putting herself in danger, letting him take all of her..leaving nothing left for anyone else. Not her family, not her friends..not anyone. How many people had she lost because of him and his quest? What would she do now? One thing she did know, for sure, was that right here, and right now...this felt right! This man felt right! And Mulder seemed very far away and insignificant. Taken by surprise at the abrupt change, Doggett could only hold her and rub her back, trying to stop her crying. But gradually he sensed a change in her. Her body relaxed, as of she had come to terms with a struggle that had long been raging in her heart. Doggett, moved his hands from her back, to her face, and applying pressure, brought her face to face with his own. He searched her eyes, and found the answer he had wanted. He knew she was still torn, knew things wouldn't be smooth sailing, but it was a start. And he wasn't going to let her off so easily this time. Mulder was gone...just gone...and this was just between the two of them. No more threesome! He had never liked threesomes! "Trust me, Dana...just trust me..that's all I'm asking. Give me a chance to protect you and William...give me a chance to love you. That's all I'm asking!" Scully opened her mouth to speak, but she wasn't given the chance. His mouth dropped to hers and any reply she might have made was lost in his throat, as they kissed. She couldn't believe this was happening, that she was letting him kiss her, or that she was kissing him back. He felt and tasted so good..and this was all she wanted or needed, right now. He loved her, would look after her, protect her..for now. There was time enough for him to hate her later...time enough for him to leave her..for she knew this couldn't last. This feeling never did for her...and she dare not hope that this time it would be any different. But..she was tired of being alone, tired of being scared, tired of aching for someone's touch and the fulfillment that touching brought! Murmuring softly to him, she led him back through her bedroom door, her sanctuary. The baby slept on, unaware of what was unfolding in the cool dark room. Unaware of the pleasure that was being given and taken. Unaware of the shadow that seemed to hover over them all, a presence that seemed to be waiting for just the right time to shatter everything. The two lovers were also unaware of the presence. They were too busy giving into a need they had both been denying for six long months. And in the midst of her surrender to John Doggett, Scully remembered her thoughts and fears, but only for an instant! She wanted this moment to last, these feelings and sensations he was giving her to go on forever. As she called his name out loud, she whispered to herself, "Time enough for him to hate me...time enough! Not understanding the reason for her tears, Doggett kissed them away, following their glistening trail, as they drifted down her cheeks, throat, and beyond. He was determined to stop her crying.....he would stop her pain....there would be time enough for them, now...time enough! But deep inside, he felt a chill, as if a ghost had crossed his heart. Together they whispered, lips seeking each other...."Let there be time enough!" The End