From: lopsided Date: Wed, 15 Sep 1999 16:08:36 -0700 Subject: NEW: Tiny Bubbles [PG13] Gen/Humor TITLE: TINY BUBBLES AUTHOR: The Lopsided Weevil WEBSITE: http://members.tripod.com/~Lopsided SUMMARY: A certain FBI Agent takes a bath, you get to watch. DISCLAIMER: The X-Files and these characters are the property of Ten Thirteen Productions & Fox. No copyright infringement is intended. NOTES: This is a rewrite of a bad M/Sk story from last November, now it features Scully. Don't ask me how M/Sk slash can be adapted into Genfic, just trust me. ;) She knew this whole idea was a big mistake, but she just couldn't help herself. It was all just so tempting and it had been so long since she'd given into temptation. She needed this indulgence, this little flight of fancy, damnit, she deserved this. So it was decided - she was going for it! But what she'd had to do to get there, to achieve her just deserts, was it too high a price? She'd had to go to three different stores to find it, but he'd insisted. "It just isn't the same without it," he'd said. But the object of her obsession wasn't the one driving all over town searching for it. "If you want it, it's going to cost you," he'd said quietly, under his breath, as they sat in the staff meeting in Kirsh's office. "Tonight. Ten o'clock. And don't forget the Mr. Bubbles." Sometimes she hated Jeffrey Spender. "No Mr. Bubbles, no bouncy bouncy." Hated, with a passion. That was it: passion. She just couldn't resist. The thought of Jeffrey naked was just too good to pass up. Or better yet, the thought of Jeffrey naked and wet was even better. So, there was no choice really, she was going to do it. They were going to do it. They were going to take a bath together. She and Jeffrey. Together in the tub. Naked in the tub. Naked and wet in the tub. She and Jeffrey. Jeffrey. Naked in the tub. Naked and wet in the tub. She and Jeffrey. Naked and wet and in the tub. Soaking in it. Together. She couldn't wait. There was just one catch. Mr. Bubbles. "No Mr. Bubbles, no bouncy bouncy." So she had a mission: find Mr. Bubbles. It had been a total embarrassment, going all over town looking for the children's bubble bath. Had it come to this? Had she really sunk this low? Apparently so. And when she'd finally found it, things got even worse. "Price check on register three." She'd stood there waiting, the line at least a dozen people deep. "George! Price check on Mr. Bubbles!" George the stock boy was apparently taking a smoke break. "GE-ORGE! Price check on Mr. Bubbles!" The checker practically screamed into the microphone. A dollar forty-nine. She'd lived through hell for a dollar forty-nine bottle of Mr. Bubbles. But it didn't end there. "George, price check on Trojans. They're in isle six, George, next to the tampons. Trojans, George, lubricated ultra thins's. The 20 pack, George. Sometime today, George." Somehow, she'd managed to get through it and meet the requirements for the evening. When she'd arrived home Spender was waiting for her, seated silently in the darkness of the apartment, patiently awaiting her return. "Did you get it?" was his only greeting, the words floating to her, as if on some wispy cloud in the darkness. Were there storm warnings ahead? "What do you think?" was her only reply. He practically dragged her down the hallway to the bathroom. Before they were even through the doorway the excited man was ripping his clothes off. His cheap clip-on tie ended up whizzing it's way into the hall, almost grazing her in the head. She was going to have to speak to him about that, but maybe tomorrow night. If he was going to start hanging around, he was definitely going to have to improve his wardrobe. What she really wanted right now was for him to get out of those cheap clothes. She could burn them in the morning. His jacket was the next thing to come off, landing with a sweep onto the toilet seat. As he was hurriedly unbuttoning his white shirt, he somehow managed to wriggle his way out of his pants. Within an instant he was standing there, his shirt on the floor, his pants around his ankles. He was naked except for his paisley boxer shorts. Her mouth began to water. Maybe the trauma of the Mr. Bubbles purchase was worth it after all. She watched him bounce up and down, trying desperately to extricate himself from his pants. He could be so silly sometimes, especially when he was in a hurry. But this night required patience - there would be a process involved, a ritual must be followed. It was her job to run the bath and make sure that the water was just the right temperature. She walked over to the tub, passing within a hair's breadth of the nearly naked man. She paused, briefly, bringing her lips within an inch of Jeffrey's shoulder. She wanted so much to reach down and take a taste of his skin and to kiss him, slowly, up the neck. But there would be time for that later. She turned and sat down on the edge of the cool, white bathtub. Turning on the faucets, she could hear the hyperactive man behind her. He was squirming again, was he trying to get himself out of his shorts, perhaps? Something whizzed by her head. Spenders's shorts. That meant he was naked. She closed his eyes and bit her lip. If she turned around, she wouldn't be able to resist. She must resist, she must be patient and let the fantasy play out. Only then would the pleasure come. She opened her eyes. Spender's shorts had ended up dangling from the hot water knob. She lifted them from their precarious position and tossed them on the floor, next to his dark wool pants. She took the bottle and opened it, releasing the sugary fragrance of Mr. Bubbles into the room and poured several capfuls into the running bath. "Oo oo! Oooo! More! More!" Spender demanded. She did as she was instructed, another two capfuls went under the tap. The bathtub was now a sea of bubbles, like something out of a old 40's romance movie. As the tub reached capacity, she turned off the faucets. Everything was perfect, just the way Jeffrey liked it. "Okay, I think we're ready," she informed her eager partner. As she arose from the edge of the tub, Spender quickly moved past her and jumped in, all in one fluid, graceful motion. The swiftness of his movements distracted her in such a manner that she was forced to whirl around nearly 360 degrees, causing her head to spin. Dizzy, she kneeled down and grabbed the edge of the tub. As she looked up, her face was only inches from that of her now contented companion. Spender leaned out and kissed her softly on the cheek. With the kiss, a small dollop of foam was transfered from his cheek to hers. "Perfect," he said. The two looked deeply into each other's eyes but resisted the urge to take the kiss further. She rose and quickly removed her tired work clothes. She tried teasing him a bit as she stripped off each layer of clothing, but the man seemed to be too distracted by the mounds of bubbles surrounding him. Or was he, she could have sworn she caught him watching her out of the corner of his eye. It was the slight upturn of his mouth, that subtle grin that give him away. She loved the way he smiled, the shape of his mouth and the taste of his lips. Tonight she would get them all, his lips his playful tongue, his nose brushing against hers, tonight she would have all of him. She stepped into the tub and took up her place laying opposite to her foam-covered partner. She smiled and gave him a suggestive wink. Easing back, she let the warm waters do their magic and relax her aching muscles. God, she loved this part of the day. Soaking in a hot bath. Watching Spender play with his bubbles. Studying the lines and curves of the man's arms and chest. Feeling Jeffrey's toes held gently in her hands. This was heaven. But heaven didn't last long when a certain FBI agent was involved. And hell hath no fury like a singing Spender. It started quietly at first, with a little hum. But then it grew louder and more confident. He was singing, Jeffrey was singing. That song. That hated song. "Rubber duckie, you're the one! You make bath time lots of fun. Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you! Vo-vo-de-o!" She let her right eyelid hang down low, almost closing, and arched her left eyebrow, giving the silly man an evil look. It didn't help, Jeffrey just gave her a sly grin in return. And then there were the little wet chest hairs between his pecks, they were distracting her. She wanted to reach out and kiss him, feel his powerful arms wrapped around her, take his nipple in her mouth and tease it... but her fantasy was interrupted as the song continued... "Rubber duckie, joy of joys, when I squeeze you, you make noise. Rubber duckie, you're my best friend, it's true." Only Jeffrey would know all the words to this infernal song. "Oh, everyday, when I make my way to the tubby, I find a little fellow who's cute and yellow and chubby. Rub-a-dub-dubby!" Each verse seemed to be sung in a wildly different and highly annoying key. "Rubber duckie, you're so fine, and I'm lucky that you're mine! Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you! Rubber duckie, you're the one! You make bath time lots of fun. Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of you! Vo-vo-de-o!" Oh god, he was repeating verses, would this never end? "Rubber duckie, joy of joys, when I squeeze you, you make noise. Rubber duckie, you're my best friend, it's true. Oh, everyday, when I make my way to the tubby, I find a little fellow who's cute and yellow and chubby. Rub-a-dub-dubby!" She waited for the inevitable climax. "Rubber duckie, you're so fine, and I'm lucky that you're mine! Rubber duckie, I'm awfully fond of, Rubber duckie, I'd like a whole pond of, Rubber duckie I'm awfully fond of youuuuuuu!" She leaned in and planted a big, wet kiss on the still singing and thoroughly covered in bubbles FBI agent, if only to shut him up. She'd been patient with Spender and given him everything he wanted. Finally, it was her turn to have some fun. Now where did that box of Trojans go? she asked herself. ----------------- the end. ----------------- ps - bonus web link! http://www.hand-family.org/Claire/Duckies/index.html