From: CRK1963@aol.com Date: 23 May 1999 17:32:14 -0700 Subject: [xfcreative] Too Much Life From: CRK1963@aol.com Title: Too Much Life Author: Cathee Kancel E-Mail CRK1963@aol.com Rating: PG Category: MS/UST Summary: Why was Scully so depressed at the end of Tithonus? Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully don't belong to me, altough they can come visit anytime. :) They belong to each other, Gillian and David, oh, yeah, and Chris Carter too. :) Too Much Life By: Cathee Kancel "...then when you look for it's opposite..." Scully gave no reply to her partner's last comment. She looked at him for a moment before turning away. She was very aware that those green eyes of his can see right through to her soul, and she was apprehensive for him to see what he'd find there. Fox Mulder sensed that something had been bothering his best friend for the last few days. And he was sure it was more than a boring existence in a hospital and slimy food. She was in pain, and he was determined to help her through it, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. "Scully, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" She kicked herself mentally for letting her emotions show despite her efforts to hide them. Although, with Mulder, hiding her emotions would take a skill in which even she'd be under qualified to perform. She looked straight ahead as she spoke. "I'll be fine. This last case was just a little overwhelming, even for me." "You don't feel guilty because Felig died in place of you, I hope." Mulder asked, knowing too well that Scully's guilt complex was almost equal to his. Well, close to almost, anyway. "No, I wouldn't call it guilt. It's just that..." the redheaded agent took a deep breath as her left hand fidgeted with the blanket that was covering half her body. Mulder gently squeezed the hand he was holding before encouraging her to continue. "It's okay, Scully, it's just me." At that last statement, Scully met his eyes and gave him a half smile. She'd always had trouble expressing her emotions and feelings. And there were few people she knew that she would trust with her vulnerability. But Fox Mulder was not one of them. She trusted him completely and felt comfortable in sharing her deepest thoughts with him more than anyone else in her life. The problem was, she was afraid of losing control to that vulnerability. This was one time however, she felt she needed to take that chance. "I told you the story Felig told me regarding how he escaped death." "Right, he didn't look it in the face when it came towards him which resulted in the nurse dying instead." Mulder responded in affirmation. "Well, according to him that is how he became...immortal, if you want to call it that. Because of that one incident he was destined to live forever." Mulder nodded, still not sure of where she was going. "My theory is that death only looks for us once, and if we don't look it in the face when it comes for us, the only way we die is to look at it right before it comes for somebody else - about before that person sees it." Mulder sent up a note of thanks for Felig, giving up his immortality in order for Scully to live. Well, he knew the man's motive was that he was ready to die more so than wanted Scully to live. But he was grateful nonetheless. Dana closed her eyes before responding to her partner's last words. They struck a chord in her as a tear ran slowly down her cheek. "What is it, honey?" Mulder whispered as he wiped away the tear. Touched by his gentle sentiment, she finally spoke what was in her heart. "You said it, Mulder. He turned his back on death when it came for him, which destined him to life forever on Earth. And I did the same thing, Mulder, I did the same thing he did years ago when he was injured in battle...and I'm just wondering if that means..." "Are you worried you'll have that same fate placed upon you? That you'll live forever?" Mulder interjected with a slight smile. He took her in his arms as her eyes started to glass over. Scully returned the hug as they began to rock back and forth. After a few moments, she found the voice to speak. "I asked Felig how anyone can have too much life. I mean, there's so much to do and learn and see and love. But now...now I can empathize with the way he was feeling." She pulled out of the embrace still holding onto her partner's shoulders. Scully saw so much love in his hazel eyes she thought she'd melt right then and there. "Mulder, I, I don't plan on dying any time soon. But the prospect of living forever is frightening. I mean, when I think of still being alive after my family's gone, all my friends and everyone I ever knew in my entire life." She placed a palm on her friend's cheek as she choked out, "and you...I just can't bear the though of being all alone, with no one. Especially without you, Mulder." Mulder placed her head back onto his shoulder as his own eyes began to well with tears. He stroked her silken red hair as he spoke gently in her ear. "Ah, Scully, I seriously doubt you'll have the same fate as Felig. But I'll make you a promise, okay. I'll do the turning away from death number when it comes after me, than I'll live forever too. How does that sound?" Dana let out a small chuckle through her tears. Mulder could always make her feel better, he was her light through the clouds. "I'll hold you to that, Mulder. You know, Clyde Bruchman did tell me I was never going to die." "What?" Mulder replied with a laugh, taking her head in his hands. "Bruchman? You've got to be kidding? Scully, now I know as a fact that you aren't immortal. But you will live to a ripe old age - do you hear me?" He brushed his lips with hers and pulled her back into his arms. Moments passed before Mulder realized she was drifting off to sleep. He gently laid her back down on her pillow while once more taking hold of her hand. "Mulder, will you stay here with me?" she asked groggily. "I'm not going anywhere," he answered, caressing her cheek with his free hand. "And Dana, just in case it is true, and I die while you're stuck here forever. I'll personally come down and bring you up with me. 'Cause as wonderful as Heaven sounds, without you there with me it would be incomplete." With her heart and soul now at peace after hearing those last words, Dana Scully gave a weak smile and drifted into a blissful slumber.