From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 16:01:50 EDT
Subject: Toothpick Terror

Aunt Chilly-bob's Cafe (I just love that name!)
12:24 p.m.

A depressed soul, Barry Sanders, strolled into the cafe and plopped down in a 
seat. The waiter took his order and the strange customer asked,"Sir, could 
you please get me an order of Captain Crunch?"
"What kind?" Just then, the frightening music began.
"Oh, I think you know what kind!"
"Um....sir?"
"Sorry, Sci-fi withdrawal. Make it blueberry." Once he bit into the cereal, 
he let out a bloodcurdling scream. "You forgot the sugar!!!" Rolling his 
eyes, the waiter dumped a pack of sugar into the bowl. A few minutes later, 
he let out another scream. 
"What now?!" the waiter asked, agitated.
"Need....toothpick! Cereal stuck in teeth!" In a hurried rush, the waiter 
thrust a handful of toothpicks into his hand. Once the catastrophic object 
was extracted, the man said,"Thank you, sir! Those toothpicks seem to have a 
mind of their own!"
"Yes, they do, don't they?" the waiter said in a suspicious tone. Then he let 
out a long and painfully loud,"Muahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!" Suddenly, the Board 
of Health came charging into the Cafe and sued the manager for blatantly 
disregarding their orders to take the Potassium Cyanide out of the water 
main. So, we will never find out what the lovely waiter-character had in 
store for the audience. Well, that's the way things go when you put Chris 
Carter in charge. Now then, Barry Sanders went to group therapy for his 
recent depression and is now studying diligently the arts of Modern Science. 
The Board of Health went on to close many restaurants such as "Milly's 
Mongolian Morgue" and "Bobby's Billiard Barbecue".

The moral of this story is if you ever are brain-demented enough to actually 
use a toothpick, please, for the sake of your physical health, make sure that 
there are no metallic items protruding from it.