From: neoxphile <neoxphile@aol.com>
Date: 3 Oct 2005 17:55:42 -0700
Subject: NEW: Tortured and Guilty
Source: atxc

Title: Tortured and Guilty
Author: Neoxphile
feedback: neoxphile@aol.com
Website: www.geocities.com/mulderscreek
Rating: PG
This is my fic for Mollyrocket's 2003 Halloween challenge.
http://forums.delphiforums.com/XF3F/messages?msg=267.1
Disclaimer: Actually, they *are* my characters. Except for Mulder.
Spoilers: Absolutely none
Summary: It's been six months....

***

She wished he wasn't so tortured. But he was, and it was her fault.
Or at least it felt like it. What has happened had been out of her
hands, but it was still something that made her felt guilty, even if
it was irrational. Tortured and guilty, a natural pair.

It'd been six months since the accident, but Eric still wouldn't look
her in the eyes. Sometimes she wondered if he even knew she was
there; from the distance in his eyes it seemed likely that he didn't.
And he never spoke to her. Never. The silence was deafening.
Sometimes he listened, but most of the time she could be talking
to herself for  all the reaction she got. That made her lonely. She
shivered a lot for October.

The reason Eric blamed himself is that everyone else did. First the
police officer at the scene of the accident, making Eric hop on one
foot and say the alphabet backwards while the paramedics worked on
her. Then her parents and sister at the hospital while the machines
breathed for her. Finally the lawyer accusing him in court...but the
judge hadn't so he'd gotten to go home. But he was still haunted by
the accusations, she could tell. Despite several attempts to point
that out that she didn't blame him, which should have been the
opinion that carried the most weight, her reassurances fell on
deaf ears.

She guessed that she understood, it had been horrible. Of course it
hadn't started out that way. Easter, that's when it had been. Eric
wasn't close to his family, so they'd gone to spend the Sunday with
hers. She hated to admit it to herself, but it was almost a relief.
None of those typical newlywed negotiations and hassles over the
holidays for them.

So they'd spent the day at her parents house, laughing at the egg
hunt the little ones engaged in, and having a delicious ham dinner.
They'd had wine with their meal, and why not? Holidays with the
family are times worth celebrating, and it had only been a glass each.
Eric had been fine to drive, of course he had.

It had been rainy on the way home, and Eric agreed with her relief
that the rain had held off long enough for the egg hunt to go off
without a hitch. That's how most of the drive home had been -
chatting about the inconsequential. Then something had run out into
the road in front of them, oh so briefly illuminated in the headlights,
a dog Eric thought. He'd swerved to avoid it, but it was hard to
maneuver in that slashing rain. There was a tree... A crash,
the jaws of life, a confusing ambulance trip to the hospital...
she tired not to think about it.

It seemed as though Eric was starting to get it out of his head too,
maybe. At least he was showing an interest in decorating for
Halloween, and that was progress. He had a collection of painted
ceramic Halloween lamps that his mother had done for him when he was
growing up, and he'd put them out, same as every year. He kept
forgetting to turn on their lights, though, so she often did it for
him. That made him jumpy for some reason, as though the mere lighting
of tiny light bulbs had a greater significance to him than to her.

He reacted that way just now, when she touched the back of his neck
to reassure him that she still loved him. He dove away from her hand,
almost crashing into the jack o lantern that he'd carved and put out
earlier that night for the amusement of the trick o treaters that had
visited.

Eric's hand seemed to tremble as he reached for the phone. His other
hand reached into his suit jacket, and he pulled out a scrape of
paper with a phone number on it in his own writing. Staring at it
for  a minute, he dialed. A click on the line confirmed that someone
was at the other end, despite the late hour. His voice shook a little
as
he spoke. "Hello? Is this agent Mulder? Someone gave me your
number and told me you deal with cases of the paranormal. I..."
He paused. "I think I'm being haunted."

The End

Author's note: Looks like I've forgotten to ever archive a number of
fics anywhere but on my site, this one among them. Oops.

